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- Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
- Kategorie: Fachliteratur
- Sprache: Englisch
From a veteran Fortune 500 executive, how women can reach and succeed in top leadership positions Though women hold a majority of the managerial and professional jobs in the workforce, they occupy a mere 14% of C-suite positions at Fortune 500 firms. To break through this stubborn glass ceiling, women must learn to take bold steps when career-defining moments arise. During her 33-year career at Southern Company, a Fortune 500 utility company, Becky Blalock rose to become CIO in a traditionally male industry. Now she offers her own hard-won advice, as well as that of 28 top female executives, to show all aspiring women how to dare to reach the highest tier of leadership and C-suite positions. * Includes advice and mentoring lessons from top women business leaders such as: Anna Maria Chávez, CEO of the Girl Scouts of the USA; Kat Cole, President of Cinnabon; Carol Tomé, CFO of Home Depot; Dr. Beverly Tatum, president of Spelman College, and Jeanette Horan, CIO of IBM, among many others * Features straightforward, honest advice on gaining confidence, speaking up, finding mentors, learning to fail, building a network of allies, managing others, and more * Written by pioneering business leader Becky Blalock, with a Foreword by Anne Mulcahy, former chairperson and CEO of Xerox Corporation Dare is must-needed guide for women everywhere, at every level, striving to develop the character, skills, and relationships that deliver greater success in the workplace.
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Seitenzahl: 345
Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2013
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Contents
Cover
More Praise for Dare
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Foreword
Introduction: Follow Me
Chapter One: Dare to Set the Target High
Believe You Can Get There
Make Your Personal Vision Specific
Dare to Write a Personal Vision Statement
Core Values: Your Visionary GPS
You Can't Have Everything—So Know What's Most Important
Chapter Two: Dare to Know Yourself
To Get Strong, Admit You're Weak
Dare to Ask for Feedback
How I Learned to Stop Butting In
Getting the Best Data
Setting a Course for Change
Back to the Mirror
Chapter Three: Dare to Stand Out
Under the Microscope
Distinguish Yourself with Integrity
Average is Over
Create Opportunities to Radiate Excellence
Sweating the Small Stuff
Toot Your Horn
Ask for More
Speak up, Please
Ask Questions…
…And Tell a Story
Chapter Four: Dare to Project a Confident Attitude
Get Over Your Need to be Liked
How to be Assertive Without Being Pushy
Don't be Too Grateful
Never Accept no at Face Value
Master the 90 Percent Rule
You're a Fraud—and so is Everyone Else
Forge a Middle Path
The Network Effect
Awaken the Voice of Ambition
Chapter Five: Dare to Learn at Every Age
What Got You There Won't Get You Here
Where Knowledge Meets Confidence
Cultivate Network Intelligence
It's not Whom You Know, It's Who Trusts You
Become a Novice
Chapter Six: Dare to Fail
Your Secret Résumé
The Real Failure in Failure
Take a Positive Approach to Risk
Learn to Live with Failure
The Five Most Powerful Words
Create a Forgiving Environment
Game on, not Game Over
Chapter Seven: Dare to Reach Out
Put Your Family First without Putting Your Job Last
Finding Colleagues—at Other Companies
Building the Network
Mentors Keep You Moving Forward
Whom Should You Recruit as a Mentor?
You also Need Sponsors
Find Allies
The First Law of Motion
Chapter Eight: Dare to be More than the Boss
The Value of “Friendraising”
Spend Time on the Front Line
Always Let Your Calmer Head Prevail
When to have Tough Conversations
It Takes Ears to Build Relationships
Speak the Language of Encouragement
Chapter Nine: Dare to be There—for Others
Be a Mentor, Starting Now
Mentoring Makes You a Better Leader
Making the Match
Mentoring Effectively
Give Back Early
Make an Unbreakable Chain
Look Beyond Your Experience
Appendix
Acknowledgments
About the Author
More from Wiley
Index
More Praise for Dare
“Dare will give you that push we all need from time to time, showing you how to excel by believing in yourself, acting boldly, and being unafraid to take risks.”
—Carole Hyatt, bestselling author, and founder and CEO, The Leadership Forum
“Are you still waiting to be noticed? Stop it. Becky Blalock shows you how to overcome the single biggest thing that holds women back: fear. Read Dare and learn how to boldly seize the reins of your career, and your life.”
—Lisa Earle McLeod, author, Selling with Noble Purpose
“Becky has assembled a treasure trove of practical, well-illustrated advice, from communication techniques to getting valuable personal feedback to negotiating salaries and much more. Her personal stories are supplemented with research and vignettes from other successful executives. A valuable book for every woman in business!”
—Martha Brooks, retired president and COO, Novelis, Inc., and board member, Bombardier, Harley-Davidson, and Jabil Circuit, Inc.
“Looking for something to help you tackle a challenge in your career? In Dare, you will find the encouragement and coaching you need to believe in yourself and challenge the status quo. Successful women share their stories of lessons learned, and practical advice is given to provide you with the confidence to tackle anything. Everyone's journey is different. Learn from the best, apply it to your situation, and enjoy success.”
—Mylle Mangum, chairman and CEO, IBT Holdings, and board director, Reynolds Metals Company, Haverty Furniture Companies, Barnes Group, Express Inc., PRGX Global Inc., and Decatur First Bank
“Top leadership in corporate America is no longer a lofty goal for women. Dare is full of wisdom from great female leaders who help you understand how you, too, can reach your full potential.”
—Susan Stautberg, cofounder and cochair, WomenCorporateDirectors, and president, Partnercom
“Becky has been a leader in the United Way movement as well as in business. She has brought her full experience to this leadership book by women, for women. It has taken years to reach a point where there are enough women in senior roles to model the way for others, and Dare contains priceless wisdom from some of the most accomplished women of our time. Their lessons learned and success strategies will boost your confidence and challenge you to achieve more.”
—Cynthia Round, executive vice president, United Way Worldwide
“Dare is an excellent resource for any professional woman. Becky's practical and insightful advice will give you a clear path to the top.”
—Kathy Ameche, author and traveler-in-chief, womanroadwarrior.com
“Becky Blalock has risen to the very top of the male-dominated information technology industry. She is a national treasure. Dare is simultaneously inspirational, informational, operational, and recreational. A must-read for future leaders of every gender.”
—Thornton May, futurist; author, The New Know; executive director, IT Leadership Academy
Cover design by Adrian Morgan
Copyright © 2014 by Becky Blalock. All rights reserved.
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Blalock, Becky, 1955-
Dare : straight talk on confidence, courage, and career for women in charge / Becky Blalock. — First edition.
1 online resource.
Includes index.
Description based on print version record and CIP data provided by publisher; resource not viewed.
ISBN 978-1-118-74465-9 (pdf)—ISBN 978-1-118-74473-4 (epub)—ISBN 978-1-118-56264-2 (hardback)
1. Women executives. 2. Leadership in women. 3. Success in business. 4. Businesswomen. 5. Career development. I. Title.
HD6054.3
658.4′094082—dc23
2013028525
In memory of my remarkable mother: Dorris Faulkner Bradford
In honor of my remarkable daughter: Alexandria (Alex)
Nicole Blalock
In recognition of remarkable women everywhere
Foreword
By Anne Mulcahy
Former Chairman and CEO, Xerox Corporation
When Becky approached me to write the foreword to Dare: Straight Talk on Confidence, Courage, and Career for Women in Charge, I was thrilled. She and I share a strong desire to mentor the next generation of women leaders in business. We know how critically important it is to learn from others, through their successes and their failures. There's no magic wand for leadership, but there is much to be taught and much to be learned, and what Becky has learned and is now about to teach will greatly increase your chances of rising through leadership positions and succeeding in each of them.
I first met Becky when she was the CIO of Southern Company and a big Xerox customer. In one customer visit, she asked if I would be willing to meet with the executive women of her company and talk about my career journey. I was honored to comply. Later, we met again when I was the keynote speaker for the Georgia CIO Leadership Association. These two meetings revealed to me the breadth and depth of Becky's generous and collaborative spirit. I'm excited but not at all surprised that she is now extending the reach of her generosity through this wonderful book.
Becky understands that what we women leaders most need is the willingness to take risks. Too often too many of us just don't have the self-confidence—or the support!—to step out of our comfort zone and tackle new challenges. Yet, of course, it is these very challenges that help us grow from one stage of our career to the next. Even more important, it is through these challenges that we grow the companies we work for.
My own experience echoes and affirms so many of the lessons you will find in this book. I have seen the stark necessity of effective leadership in times of crisis and prosperity. Many of us remember the Xerox of the 1990s, when it was an unrivaled icon of operational expertise. When I began my tenure as president and COO in May 2000, however, we were facing some real problems. I can't think of a time in my career when leadership was more important. I saw that our company had two major assets: great customers who didn't want the brand to die, and a committed workforce who didn't ask me, “When will we be closing our doors?” but instead asked, “What will we look like going forward?”
I took these as the positive signs they were, and I took them also as a call to leadership. As Becky says, leaders need to have a clear vision, set clear objectives, align their organization, and communicate like crazy. One of my mentors told me, “When things are good, talk about what needs improvement. When things are bad, talk about when they will get better.” Just as Becky advises here, we took some big risks, and we made tough choices. We restructured, and we sold businesses not core to our future. We partnered with others to use our internal talents better. In 2002 we lost almost $300 million, but in 2006 we made over $1 billion.
Becky stresses the importance of being grateful for what we have and making sure we leave a legacy. I subscribe to her call to action. On my retirement, I also decided it was time to give back, and I took on the role of chairman of the board of trustees for Save the Children. I now use the great experience I gained in corporate America to help this wonderful, vibrant organization address the needs of children challenged by poverty.
Effective and bold leadership is every bit as important today as it was back in 2000. The demand for it will only increase in years to come. Every person who reads this book has the opportunity to make a commitment to leadership that will have a positive impact on her organization, her team, and her career.
You need to embrace the challenges in front of you. Don't wait for change or for someone to hand you an opportunity. Follow Becky's priceless advice: look for needs, create opportunities, then take the risk and step confidently into leadership. Those in the generation behind you need your success, and those of us who have gone before are rooting for you. Read on—and learn from the best!
Introduction
Follow Me
In 1978 I began my career at Georgia Power, and I worked for the next thirty-three years in the Southern Company system. Until 2011 I was senior vice president and chief information officer, directing IT strategy and operations across the 120,000 square miles and nine subsidiaries of Southern Company. I led more than 1,100 employees in delivering information technology to one of America's most respected companies. I had a guiding hand in executing over a billion dollars in the new technology initiatives that repeatedly earned Southern Company recognition as one of the “100 Most Innovative Companies” from CIO Magazine and also a spot on Computerworld 's “100 Best Places to Work in IT” list.
Three-plus decades doesn't seem such a terribly long time when you're the one who's lived them, but, in terms of women in business, it's practically an eternity. When I started out, most women went to college to become nurses or teachers or, let's face it, to find a husband. Although nursing and teaching are great professions—and there's nothing wrong with finding a husband, either—I soon realized that women could also do great things in a host of occupations traditionally associated with men: as doctors, attorneys, accountants, and, yes, business leaders. Of course, back in the 1970s, few women majored in business. I was one of only a handful in my program at the University of West Georgia. When I went to graduate school at Mercer University in 1984, I saw a few more women around me, but not many.
The women of my generation fell prey to the discouraging myth that “women can't do math,” and math is essential if you're going into business. But even bright women I knew who did excel at math—and knew they excelled at it—didn't pursue a business career. Of my closest friends, not even one considered going into the business world.
So how did I end up there, holding C-level positions at one of the most successful companies in the nation?
I learned early how to dare.
My dad was a sergeant in the U.S. Air Force, and we moved, well, a lot. I attended eight elementary schools, three junior high schools, and four high schools. Over the years, many well-meaning friends and colleagues have shaken their heads with sympathy when I've mentioned this.
“It must have been tough,” they said. “How could you possibly have adjusted?”
Maybe being an Air Force brat was tough sometimes, but I don't remember it that way. What I do remember is that being the new kid just about every year I went to school made me stronger—or at least made me feel stronger, which may well amount to the same thing.
As the perpetual new kid, I realized I had a choice. I could keep my head down and my mouth shut in an effort to blend in, or I could dare to introduce myself, to raise my hand in class, and to generally make myself known. It took some confidence and some courage to do this, but with each and every move to a new town and a new school I discovered inner reserves of more confidence and more courage. Each time I dared made it easier to dare the next time. It was like working a muscle, developing it, making it stronger and more reliable with use.
A young life of one new situation after another was not the only thing my dad gave me. He was always a good listener and adviser, but he was absolutely adamant about two things: don't smoke, and do go to college. He didn't care what my sister and I chose to study or how we paid for it. Both were up to us.
An Air Force sergeant doesn't earn a fortune, and I didn't have much cash for college. One semester, I worked a retail job, making $1.65 per hour. When a marketing professor approached me to get my help with a market research study and said he would pay me $5.00 for every survey I was able to collect, I jumped at the opportunity. I did not have money, but I did have friends, and I knew my friends would take the survey. After I collected the surveys—and my fistful of fives—he asked me to help him analyze the data. I agreed, and I quickly learned that I had quite a knack for data analysis, taking a large amount of information and seeing the trends within it. The professor advised me to major in marketing, saying, “You would excel in the field.”
Maybe all those years I spent choosing to dare made me especially receptive to those three words: you would excel. In any case, I chose to dare again, and that is how my journey toward business began.
As the years passed in a career marked by relentless change, my daring became the true constant and secret of my success. My willingness to step into positions in which much was unknown, to open my mouth and speak up, to innovate and push unpopular agendas—all these “dares” led to my biggest wins and ultimately made me a successful executive and leader.
C-suite or Bust
I've written this book for any woman looking to lead in corporate business, or contemplating the idea. But even more specifically, I've written it for the woman in middle management who is wondering how to make that climb—difficult for anyone, but really hard for women—to C-level management. Although mid-level managers are critically important to business, and although the job can be rewarding, for a certain kind of woman even a very good middle-management slot begins to feel like a hole, and she begins to feel stuck. I've been in that hole, and I'd like to give you a hand up.
As a former CIO I'm still part of an all-too-small group: corporate women who made it to the top. As of 2012, women made up 46.9 percent of the U.S. labor force and 51.5 percent of “management, professional, and related occupations.”1 Impressive—and yet, at the very top, in executive leadership positions, women are still in the minority. In 2012 women made up 14.3 percent of executive officers in Fortune 500 companies, up from 14.1 percent in 2011. And they held 16.6 percent of Fortune 500 board seats in 2012, up from 16.1 percent the year before.2
I would never argue that senior leadership is for every woman, and I can't answer the question of why so few women have broken through that glass ceiling. I'm not a scientist or a sociologist; I'm a businesswoman. I learned my own lessons on the way up, but perhaps more important, I managed and mentored hundreds of men and women as a senior leader in my company. In doing so, I saw how the most successful employees positioned themselves to climb the corporate ladder. I also watched as many others either backed away or tried but fell short—and much to my distress, all too often it was the women.
There are many obstacles to reaching the executive suite. The senior executive women I interviewed for this book pointed to a shortage of executives, male and female, willing to advocate on behalf of rising women, and although they stressed the importance of taking “stretch” assignments, those roles that push you beyond your current expertise, even at the risk of failing, they also admitted that few executives—again, male or female—were willing to give these opportunities to rising personnel, especially young women. Of course, it is just such assignments that prepare us to reach the top rungs on the corporate ladder.
Yet, precious as the stretch assignments truly are, many women lack the confidence to seize them when the rare opportunity arises. They fear they are not ready for the assignment or the move, or they are reluctant to take on controversial issues. Faced with a choice between middling comfort and risky opportunity, they often choose to stay where they are. Rather than “lean in,” in the now-famous coinage of Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg, too many step back and assume that diminishing their career or working independently are the only ways one could possibly balance work with a satisfying family life.
For some women, stepping back is the right choice, and I applaud all those who make that choice consciously. This book is for those women who are all-in, determined to become part of that select upper echelon of corporate leadership and share the job of determining the direction and success of the largest economic engines of our time.
Dare to Lead
Continuous career advancement happens only when you dare to take risks, and what I've seen myself and heard from other women and men is that men seem to have a leg up compared to us when it comes to this particular arena.
Over and over again, as I interviewed successful senior executive women for this book, asking them why they thought there were not more women in jobs like theirs, I received a variation of the same reply: women need to be more open to new opportunities; to take more risks; to say yes, even when they're unsure.
Women need to dare.
I know from personal experience how frightening it can be to venture into a new role that takes you far out of your comfort zone, the intellectual region in which you feel yourself to be an expert. But I also know from that experience—know absolutely—that we grow most when we personally feel most at risk.
At one point in my career I had what I then considered a “dream job,” assistant to the CEO. This wasn't an administrative position, it was one of the roles the company used to groom high-potential leaders. I was the first woman in the role, and it made me part of the executive team. Whenever the CEO couldn't attend a meeting, I was sent in his stead. Finally I had a window into the company at a strategic level, and I was learning everything I could. One day the CEO came into my office and said that he and the executive committee had met and decided I would be a good fit for a brand-new job they were creating. It was regional chief information officer, with responsibility for running the IT function of several subsidiaries and reporting up to the enterprise CIO.
I almost fell out of my chair. My training and my career background were in accounting, finance, and marketing. As for computers, I didn't know anything except how to use one—and sometimes I needed help with that. But, then, how do you say no to the CEO? So I swallowed, grinned broadly, and instead of falling out of my chair, popped up from it, took his offered hand, and thanked him for the wonderful opportunity.
That's what I did. What I felt was great fear of failure and a tremendous amount of self-doubt. It even occurred to me: this might just be the end of my career. Yet I decided to accept these feelings, painful as they were, and simply set about establishing goals and learning the new job.
Several times in my career I would be asked to take assignments in areas in which I had neither deep knowledge nor real experience. Fortunately for me, I quickly realized that in these situations the job was always more about leadership and an ability to be flexible and learn and grow than it was about the technical particulars. I was shocked one day when a young woman on my team, a woman who had worked with me in a prior role, told me, “You are a better leader in IT than you were in accounting.”
“I'm the same person now as I was then, so how can that be?” I responded.
“You built a lot of the processes in accounting, and you were the technical expert,” she explained, “so there was a real tendency for you to get into the detail and try to manage everything. Here in IT you are truly leading instead of managing.”
It was then that I realized just how powerful this assignment was in building my leadership skills and making me a more confident leader. The job I thought would ruin me had instead brought out my best work. After a short time, when I moved to yet another job, I did so with the confidence that I could add value even—maybe especially —in areas in which I was not a subject matter expert, as long as I had a clearly defined vision. I learned to surround myself with smart, talented people and to trust them to execute on our shared initiatives.
Making that first tough developmental move had been a critical step in my career. Several years later, the enterprise CIO position opened up. Never mind that it was a job several levels higher than my position level at the time; people remembered the great work I had done in my short time as a regional CIO, and I was promoted to this senior role in the C-suite. Had I turned down the earlier move to regional CIO, this opportunity would not have been offered to me.
Even if you're still unsure about whether you're cut from the right cloth for the executive life, today you'll find that the mind-sets and skills of daring are essential for any career path. It is more important than ever to venture into new roles that take you far out of your cultural and intellectual comfort zone. In today's rapidly changing professional and technological worlds, you cannot afford to be an “expert” in a narrow field. The broader context is liable to change right out from under you. When things move fast in business, you need to take the broadest possible view. If you don't, the targets will shoot clear out of your constricted field of vision. Taking the broad view means moving into new areas all the time and proving you can learn fast and lead others.
Prepare to Dare, Together
Today it is more important than ever for us as women to be able to match our male colleagues in the ability to step up and dare to risk; to say yes even when we know for a fact that we don't yet know everything we'll need to know to follow through. If you're doing this, it will not just be for you—or even for the sake of our gender. Getting the new female majority to step up and lead is critical to our nation's competitive future. As Saadia Zahidi, head of the World Economic Forum's Women Leaders and Gender Parity program, once said, “Women make up one-half of the brain power of the human capital that's available to an economy.”3 We need all the trained, experienced, and capable brain power available if we are to continue to grow economically. We cannot compete if more than half our workforce does not feel fully empowered to succeed.
A generation or two ago, women had only a few career choices open to them. On occasion, particularly determined women would be allowed to share the man's world of work—but typically in a subordinate role, such as that of stenographer or secretary. When World War II took the men to battle, women left their cash registers and typewriters to labor in war plants and other traditionally male work environments. The world's eyes were suddenly opened to what women could accomplish if given the opportunity. The airplanes, ships, tanks, guns, and munitions those women made enabled America to win a world war.
My generation made the next big leap, demanding equal opportunity in the workplace and slowly but surely proving to our male bosses that we could be more than secretaries and typists. A few of us even went all the way to the top. In doing so, we helped improve economic conditions in the United States, adding 25 percent to our gross domestic product since 1970.4
We've come so far, but we're not done. A new generation of women, supported by men at home and at work, needs to dare to break through that final glass ceiling to the C-suite.
This book is designed to help develop the character, skills, and relationships to prepare you to swallow your fear and take the leap; to dare boldly and unapologetically when those career-defining moments arise; to dare even bigger than I did.
The dozens of senior executive women from some of America's most respected companies whom I interviewed for this book are trailblazers, too. They have shared their personal stories of how they dared to take on challenging assignments and how they found the self-confidence and courage to do it. They've also opened up about how they recovered from mistakes.
They have accomplished great things in their respective careers and paved the way for the next generation of women leaders. I hope you will be as inspired by them as I am. The great success they enjoy is possible because of the courage and self-confidence they have—but underneath it all, they too have had to overcome fear and uncertainty. They have all made mistakes, and they are all better and stronger leaders because they learned from them.
These women are also passionate about helping other women. Anyone who says women don't support and help each other speaks from ignorance. The “Queen Bees” of the past are not the women (or men!) who succeed in today's business environment, and they certainly won't get far in the future. The most successful leaders are those who “pay it forward,” and the women I interviewed are all great models of just that. They are from diverse industries and have very different backgrounds, but they are exceptional leaders and superb examples for us all.
Wherever you are in your career, mentors are essential to helping coach you through your journey. Through this book, I'd like to stand among them.
Let this book serve as a guide while you dare to take on new challenges, and let it help you understand that in taking them on, you are not alone. I'm asking you—as a woman in business, in leadership—to do what so many find it most difficult to do: dare to believe in yourself and take risks, and take them routinely, over and over again.
Notes
Chapter One
Dare to Set the Target High
Harmonize Vision and Values
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin
Anna Maria Chávez, CEO of Girl Scouts of the USA, is the daughter of immigrant farm workers from Mexico. She was born south of Phoenix, Arizona, in a tiny town where the per capita income is $9,194 and the largest employer is the local prison.
Nevertheless, early on in high school Anna decided that she was going to go to Yale. “You're a Latina, don't you think you should stay in state?” people asked her. She ignored them and set about doing the things she needed to do in and outside the classroom to make her dream a reality. “I was like, ‘Wait a minute, I have no boundaries!’ I was determined to wind up at Yale, and I did.”
In 2013, as the first Latina to lead the Girl Scouts, Anna displays boldness and clarity of vision that have never been more important as she works to update and evolve a hundred-year-old organization so a new generation of girls can dream even bigger than she did, and “become leaders of their lives, families, communities, and businesses.” Alongside her goal of making sure the organization directly meets the needs of the young it serves, her vision is to make Girl Scouts the leader in a nationwide conversation around girl leadership and women's roles in society.
Where do you get the skills to see the future with crystal-clear vision, as Anna did from such a young age and continues to do today at Girl Scouts? The best executive leaders see the future so vividly that they can make it real for others while they map the path to get there. Onc you move out of middle management and into the executive suite, you're no longer working toward the goals of others. You set the agenda. Weeks or months may pass without input from, or even contact with, your boss. To flourish, you need to have both the courage to dream big and the practiced ability to paint the vision clearly and engage others in the plan.
Believe You Can Get There
To get to the executive suite, women need strength of vision that exceeds men's. We have to earn the right to be seen as leaders because worldwide the notion of ideal leadership is still biased toward men. For example, a 2006 Catalyst study surveyed 935 alumni of the International Institute for Management Development.1 People from different regions identified a number of different skills as most important to leadership, but unanimously found men to be better at whatever skill they selected. In the United States and England, for example, respondents listed “inspiring others” as most important to leadership, and then rated women as less adept at it than men.
When I started out three decades ago, few women were in senior roles in the corporate world, so what seemed obvious—self-evident, even—was that the barriers holding us back were permanent, natural, and forever. Unmovable.
Today, however, many have broken through. Though they may be in the minority, women do hold senior leadership positions in every major industry. And yet a 2011 McKinsey study concluded that a disproportionate number of “bright, highly-motivated women at middle management levels—and higher—[frequently] turn down opportunities for advancement, look for jobs outside their company, or leave Corporate America altogether.”2 Chief reasons cited included women's fears that they wouldn't be able to manage a family and an executive career; the concern that embedded institutional mind-sets still bar women from leadership roles; and a general lack of satisfaction with their chosen profession.
Even seemingly positive words—balance, sacrifice, ambition, happiness —can affect our attitude and keep us from exploring our full range of possibilities. These words and the cultural myths into which they're woven are powerful, but only because we ourselves endow them with power by letting them define our stories.
It's so easy to let our vision be defined—and limited—by others. Perhaps you've heard that elephants, despite having legs like tree trunks, can be tethered by a stake in the ground barely bigger than a pencil, simply because as babies they learned the painful way that the stake would hold them. Once they believe the tether holds, they never try to escape it.
Each of us needs to make sure that none of the tethers that still hold us back are self-imagined—and to dare to take that final leap.
Make Your Personal Vision Specific
To be a woman aspiring to a top leadership position, you've got to dare to go beyond the circle that's been inscribed for you. And you've got to develop a sense of vision so strong, so clear, so audacious, that when people either subtly or explicitly tell you that a certain cherished goal is a fantasy, you ignore them and go to Yale anyway—or whatever your equivalent is to Anna's brass ring.
I have mentored and coached many women over the years. What continues to surprise me is how many times I have an initial meeting with someone and she can't tell me what it is that she wants. You might think this is a problem limited to young women, but I see it in many who are mid-career as well. It is very hard to coach someone for success when she herself has not defined what success looks like to her. When I get a vague or noncommittal response from someone, what I'd like to say is, “Well, my crystal ball isn't working very well today.”
There are many aspects of your career that people can help you with, but defining what you want is something that only you can do. You can seek counsel and ask others' advice, but in the end it's up to you to determine what you want.
I know I can't be too critical here, because I wasn't always certain of what it was that I wanted. I believe I could have been more successful earlier if I had been more strategic about what I wanted and how I was going to get there. It is a great moment when you realize that your sense of being tethered is just that—your sense, rather than an absolute reality. But what use is pulling up that stake and freeing yourself if you have no idea where to go?
“Where there is no vision, the people perish,” goes one of the proverbs in the Bible. That's a very old piece of wisdom, and I wish someone had reminded me of it early in my own career.
Don't make the mistake of thinking of vision as something soft or impractical, reserved exclusively for poets, artists, or inventors. Vision is about being perfectly clear about what you want to achieve and why, to the point of being able to picture yourself having done it. It's daring to let yourself think big, beyond the next step, looking toward a whole career or an entire life. Vision is about setting goals that are both intensely meaningful to you and bigger than you think you can achieve.
