Diary from Flame of Love E-Book

Qiufu Yang-Möller

• Herausgeber: Books on Demand
• Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2014

Seitenzahl: 158

Beschreibung

I had a boyfriend who could not stay in my life because of his secret job. But one day I sensed suddenly that he has come in my life again.

Leseprobe

I had

a boyfriend

who could not stay in my life

because of his secret job.

But one day I sensed suddenly

that he has come

in my life again,

but by this way:

D:

( in Facebook )

You look good and beautiful. I am appreciating your beauty. I would like to be your friend and to know more about you. Hope to read from you soon.

Y:

Thank you very much for your writing. You can know more about me in my homepage www.QiufuYangMoeller.de.

Where are you? I am in Munich and I have just come to my home. Now it is at 18:04 o’clock in Germany.

D:

Thank you for your reply. I am from Dublin. But I work in London. I am always a busy person, kindly. Send me your e-mail in other I can tell you about myself. Call me please, so that I can hear you. My mobile number is: 0044-xxxxxxxxxx

Y:

Hello D.

Now I take time to answer you.

I was born in July 3th, 1958 in China. In China I was dancer, presenter, actress, at last became editor, author, director and producer at Television. At that time I wanted to go to Hollywood to become a film star. But I met one German who was my love of my dream and looked somehow like David Copperfield. So I came to Germany and wanted to live with him forever.

In Germany at first I studied German Language at elementary school and Kiel University very hard for over 3 years and wanted to be best wife, mother of world for my husband. But in 1992 our situation became too complicated suddenly to endanger our life and we could not change it. To rescue us I left my husband in 1995 to live alone in Kiel. But my husband thought that I did not love him, otherwise I did not leave him. Therefore my husband tried to forget me and accepted one woman in his life until today. Now my husband understands me finally. But I do not want to return to him to destroy his life with that woman.

In 1997 I moved from Kiel to Munich, because I wanted to work at Bavarian Film City and wanted to put in my patent application direct at German Patent Office and European Patent Office in Munich. Unfortunately because of my situation I could not achieve to work in Bavarian Film City and after I had put in my patent application at the patent offices I was attacked by one very big man in my flat suddenly. One week later eyewitness Mrs. Reiter died and I was put in a psychiatry for over two months!

In 2003 I was put into other psychiatry for over 5 months!!

In 2005 I was put into one forensic facility for over 5 years!!!

Before I was put into the forensic facility, some very kind and beautiful gentlemen and boys had visited me and spent night at me often who because of their secret jobs could not gave me their real names and addresses. I had given them my love, because they took care of myself and protect me…

My situation of today is still very complicated, because the criminals are still free who had put me into the psychiatric facilities and forensic facility. The background of my situation I can not publish still, therefore I can not tell you here more.

I would like to see the very kind and beautiful gentlemen and boys again and give them my love still…

D:

My dearest Y.

I was so much excited to read your writing and to hear you angelic voice.

Thanks so much for taking your time to write me in spite of your busy schedule. Content of mail well understood and noted. Thanks for the beautiful pictures. You are really an angel and thanks also for the good command of English and I will never let you go.

I do not know how to approach this with you on line, I have been fighting a battle within myself, my heart says I should tell you how I feel, but my head tells me not to be stupid that it would just cause damage to our friendship and that you would not be interested.

I wish that you were here or that I were there, or that we were together anywhere. How I wish I could be there with you, but distance has kept us apart. Apart physically, but in spirit, you are always in my heart. Friendship which has been tested by distance and obstacles and has passed… That is true friendship. The test of true friendship is not when we are together. It comes when we are not together and realize that despite the distance, thoughts and feelings are still there. I just wish you could see how much you mean to me. God has reason for allowing things to happen.

Everyday I wake up thanking God for us. Because what started out as an internet contact between us has now turned into a strong bond between two friends who have now discovered the true meaning of friendship the natural way, in making us feel the joy of what it is to be real friends. All I know now, it that throughout this past few days, I have learnt a lot from this friendship of ours and I have seen what it is like to give yourself completely to the other person when you are so far apart. The most important thing I have learnt, among many more things, is to trust and to be sincere to you.

From the day I came across your profile, I knew that you would turn out to be a good friend and you have more than proved that. Whenever you think of me, please know that no matter how many miles separate us or now much of our lives comes between us, you are and always will be the true friend I desired all this years. I thank God for giving me the privilege to meet you. Though the miles separate us, the bond we have is far stronger. You are the only one I have spent all these few years looking for. And now that I have found you… no distance can separate us. For now, I am contented with the progress we have made and I assure you that with time our communication rate will improve.

Thanks for making my life so much more meaningful and giving me a reason to live again.

My job will be taking me to Australia by tomorrow for a month. Before I go I would like to hear you more.

Y:

Hello D.

I have just found that my last writings to you are not to see here. Why at all? Yesterday you have said to me that you will write to me and call me today. Unfortunately I have not received the both. Is it right?

D:

Ohhh baby it was not my fault. I tried to call you but the signal was bad. I'm so sorry honey. I've been inside the Engine room of the ship all day, I am so busy…

I guess you had a wonderful night baby.

D:

My love:

I just can't get you out of my mind. I really want to be close to you because a lot has been running through my head lately. I'm having trouble putting my thoughts into words, so you will have to bear with me through this.

I keep thinking about the future, about life, and what I want out of it. I keep thinking about us and what this relationship means to me. I keep thinking about these things and I realize they go hand in hand. This relationship is my future, it's what I want out of life. I want to grow old with you. I want to experience this crazy love forever and ever, and I really think I'm going to get to experience it. I want us to walk through new houses picking the one that would be just right for us. I want to see you walk around our house in a big t-shirt with your hair down and catch me and I am staring at how gorgeous you are. I want you to pull the covers off me at night and then I have to get even closer, if it's possible, for you to keep warm. I want to see you laugh like crazy at me when I do stupid stuff. I want to rub lotion all over your body because you lay out in the sun too long. I want to hold you when you cry and smile. I want to fall asleep every night with you in my arms. I want you to fall asleep on my chest listening to the beat of my heart and know it beats for you. I want you to be the first thing I see when I wake up and the last thing I see when I go to sleep. I want to see your rough morning hair; I know it will be so cute. I want to sit on the beach with you and watch the sun set, and I want everyone to see and envy the love that we obviously have for each other.

I want to see you walk down that isle and I want to take your hand for the rest of my life. I want to spend all night, and maybe the next day, making love to you with an undying passion. I want to be Sixty years old and still make out with you like a little kid. I want to cook a meal with you and we totally ruin it and end up going out for dinner. I want to sit there talking to you for hours about nothing at all but in the same time everything or maybe we won't talk at all and just grimace at each other realizing how lucky we are. I want you to get mad at me for doing something stupid, and I want you to burst out laughing when you try to yell at me. I want to lay with you in front of a fireplace and keep the heat going long after the fire goes out. I want to take trips with you to places we've never been and experience them together. I want us to go skinny-dipping in a hotel pool and get caught and streak back to our hotel room waking everyone up because we're laughing so hard. I want us to go and pick out the hot tub we want with the biggest grimace on our faces the whole time. I want the sales rep to get embarrassed when we sit there and make sure that we have enough room to do the things we want to do. I want our friends to come over and get totally jealous because they don't share a love like we do.

I want to take your breath away every time I say, "I love you" because you know it's coming from the heart. I want us to sit down with a box of strawberries, a bottle of chocolate syrup, and a mint chocolate ice cream…well I'll let your imagination finish that one. I want to love you and be with you for at least FOREVER or a little longer than forever. I couldn't really express in words what I'm feeling right now so I decided to share with you SOME of the images and thoughts that have been running through my head.

I just want you to know that I had never found someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with until I met you. I really am crazy about you, everything about you.

Love always…

Your D.

Y:

Hello D.

This morning I have read your writing in hurry. But in subway I have read your writing very calmly.

Your feeling, your thought, your heart and your soul are making wonderful music for me. With this music I have run whole day for the change of my residence. With this music I am fighting against the bad air at my home to survive. With this music I am dreaming of future with you.

But the miscarriage of justice at me is still terrible and there is not any sign to acquit me. From it you can see what my situation, what Munich and what Germany is…

But where shadow is, there is sun too. Therefore I have got a flat now.

Maybe I can leave this commune soon in January 31, 2013.

Sorry I have forgotten to tell you: I have two older sisters, one older brother and one younger brother. My father is 92 years old already and my mother is 82 years old already, but they are very healthy. My whole family has known, seen and loved my divorced husband. Therefore they could not understand why I have left my divorced husband… now they are very afraid of that I will marry a wrong gentleman to destroy my life. But if I am very lucky with you, they will become very lucky too.

My whole family do not live in luxury and very modest. My parents are more frugal, because they have learned to survive in hunger already in old China rather over 60 years ago. My parents want to keep all things as long as they are useful. Therefore there are many old things at my parents what young people want to put away already long time.

There are many people like my parents in China. But many reporters from Europe have reported them as symbol of China rather poor and silly China!

I would like to tell you more. But I do not know what at all?

Take care of yourself…

Your Y.

D:

Hello My-Love,

Thanks for telling me about yourself and your family.

I want you to know How Much You Mean to me, Sweetie. There are no words to express how I feel about you. I constantly search for the words, and they all seem less than I truly feel. You are my life, my heart, and my soul. You are my best friend. You are my one true love. I still remember the day we first met Online. I knew that you were the one I was meant to be with forever. I thought of you every day, and dreamed of you each night. I need to show you, that you were the best. So I made the decision to tell you how I feel. When you said you felt the same, I felt it was a dream. Now you will make me your Husband. I am on a cloud, living in a dream. I wrote this letter for you to keep, and when you need a reminder of how I feel. I've said it before and I'll say it again, words can not express how you make me feel. I make this promise to you my dear to love you the way that you love me. I now look to the future and forget the past, your life is mine and we will make it last. I love you more today than I did yesterday, and I'll love you more tomorrow than I do today. With all my heart I am forever yours…

Love Always and Forever,

Your D.

Y:

Hello my dear, my new life and my future!

I am not so such type to say more words than my feeling, my heart and my doing.

I have very fine feeling. But because of my experiences under the terrorists I have become very strong and hard already long time. Otherwise I can not survive in my cruel situation.

You have opened the door of my love very quickly and it has surprised me very much. At the beginning I could not believe the change of my life really.

In fact I have waited for this lucky time already long time. But because of the terrorists at me I was hopeless and I have tried to forget it, because I did not want to torture me and hurt my health.

Your Y.

D:

Dearest Y.

Sometimes in life we meet people we have no expectation of meeting. Sometimes you meet people and your whole world experience reforms. I meet you and started realizing the reason why I had to stay longer. There are times I search for who cares and loves me but I have never found, until a day I went into this website we met each other, I can not say much but to give thanks for a site like this.

My heart accelerates at the speed of light, every time I breathe. I hear the rhythms of your sweet name, so melodious and charming. Every time I breathe I notice the inclination in the level of love I have for you. Maybe it's because I keep you in the most integral part of my heart. Sometimes I try to stop loving you but I realize, "I can stop breathing. My brain will never cease in passing the impulse of you to my soul because my love for you is burning out control. When I found you, a new me was made.

Ever since I have read your email, I have been thinking with affection of the moment we will see each other, and satiate all. This desire has taken us in such an intense but wonderful way.

I had a dream about you yesterday night. It has never happened to me before. I had a dream that I was holding you and kissing you… When I woke up to see myself kissing my pillow! Oh my God what is this? My baby, if I had kissed you that would have been wonderful…

Your D.

Y:

My dear, my new life and my future,

Good morning from Munich!

You have opened the door of my love to you more and more! I will tell my divorced husband about you and he will happy for me too! My letter to him I will send to you at same the time too.

Y:

My long nose,

I would like to tell you my new life, because I am sure that you will be very happy for me…

I do not know how you have met Petra and live with her until now. But I know that you are very happy with her. At beginning I was very worried about your life with her, because I was afraid of that she is not the right lady for you and she can not love you more than I. After I have learnt that you are very lucky with her whole time, I was comforted finally until now…

It is my greatest success of my fight against our cruel situation since our Taiwan-Travel in 1992 that you have survived until today. My mistake of my life in Germany is that I had not told you my real reason why I had left you. Because at that time I was too afraid of your misunderstanding and I was also too afraid of that you could not believe what I had experienced at our home whole time. At that time you were completely under stress at your factory, therefore every day at our home you only wanted to relax finally. For your health I did not want to destroy your recovery.

Unfortunately your health became worse and worse, because you were poisoned secretly at your factory. The background was Taiwan. Taiwan thought that you worked for China to destroy your production of U-boats for Taiwan!

But you thought that you had cancer. I was afraid of it too. I had visited Dr. Lund and requested him to tell me the truth. After I had learnt from him that you had not cancer, I decided to leave you, because I was sure that you could survive alone.

Whether I could survive alone, I did not know. But I was ready to fight against our situation alone. My feeling had told me that Taiwan wanted to know all about China from me, because Taiwan was convinced that I was a spy from China, otherwise I had not extoled China very much in Taiwan, especially at the television of Taiwan government and you had seen all there.