Ego E-Book

William B. Royalter

• Herausgeber: WS
• Kategorie: Ratgeber
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 342

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2022

Beschreibung

Perhaps the most important and amazing book of the century?

The ultimate book of self-development. With the necessary maps and tools, exercises and techniques that will make you able to break down seemingly complex behaviour into digestible chunks. Not only will your level of awareness never be the same again, but you will be able to create change, knowing where you come from, where you are, where you want to go, and why.

Serious, but also both witty and provocative, this book is what you need to develop a mature and balanced Ego, and also to choose what a include in your world - and what to keep out. There is also a part analysing the world we are living in, dealing especially with how we are manipulated by and accepting the mental designs of others: Beliefs, ideologies and world views that not always have been created with your best interests in mind, and cultural influences that should have been removed to the garbage dump a long time ago.

As a bonus, you will probably be vaccinated against political correctness forever!

Leseprobe

William B. Royalter

Ego

Author: William B. Royalter

Copyright © 2022 William B. Royalter

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form, by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except by a reviewer who may quote passages in a review.

The author may be contacted at [email protected]

He is not present on social media.

The author is not engaged in rendering professional advice or services to the individual reader. The ideas, procedures and suggestions contained in this book are not intended as substitutes for any kind of professional consultation. The entire content of this book is for general information only and does not constitute medical or therapeutic advice, nor should it be construed as such. It is not intended to be patient education and does not create any patient-physician or patient-therapist relationship, or any kind of client relationship. It should not be used as a substitute for professional consultation, diagnosis and/or treatment. The author makes no warranties to readers, expressed or implied, whatsoever. The author does not assume responsibility for readers’ interpretations, reactions or actions related to any of its content. Phew. If this isn’t clear enough, we don’t know what is.

Identifier:ISBN 978-91-987593-0-3 (ePub)

Table of Contents:

1. The Need for Maps, Tools, Introspection and Insight

2. You and Your Universe: A First Map

3. The Four Resources of the Mind

4. The Abstract- and Symbol-Related Resource

5. The Feeling- and Emotion-Related Resource

6. The Action- and Drive-Related Resource

7. The Meditative-, Habit- and Ritual-Related Resource

8. You and Your Universe - Revisited I

9. The Parameters

10. You and Your Universe - Revisited II

11. Common Replacement Mechanisms

12. Argumentation, Flaws and Fallacies

13. How to Master the Resources I

14. How to Master the Resources II

15. You and Your Universe - Revisited III

16. Design and Influences - Things That Should Make You Go Hmm

17. The World - From Where to Where? Past, Present and Future

18. You and Your Universe - Revisited IV

19. The Core of the Mature Ego

20. Epilogue – We’ll Meet Again

1. The Need for Maps, Tools, Introspection and Insight

Welcome.

This book is mostly about understanding, repairing, improving and optimizing the software that is installed between your ears, so that you better may use your inner resources to find out who you are and where you come from, who you want to become, what kind of life you want to live, what your world should comprise, and how to get there. It is simply a practical guide that will help you understand the functioning of the mind, with some additional ideas of how the world is screwed together, or perhaps screwed up, if you like, and how to put that information to use.

It is not meant to be a therapeutic work, as those characteristically are limited to being problem-oriented, related to specific pathologies, diagnosis and treatment, and not concerned with the broader and more general processes of self-improvement as such, or with cultivation and refinement, one could also say. It is not an academic or scientific textbook at all, in the sense that it then would be only for certain professionals, with only those select few having the background and qualifications to understand the principles described.

It is practical to look at it as a kind of course manual, with a number of exercises included. It is intentionally “oral”, as it is meant to be personal and communicating directly with you, the reader. Therefore, once again, welcome, dear student. Because that’s what you will be, if you use this book the way it is meant: A student of the most important part of your life – or should be, if it is not: Yourself.

Here, you will be introduced to a relatively complete system that is easy to understand, without any previous knowledge, education or practice being necessary. You may have to look up a few words now and then, but that’s about it. The methods are based on the use of a few simple maps, with certain guidelines and overviews describing our inner functional systems. As with geographical maps, they can tell you where you are, where you come from and have been, and show you the possibilities; where to go from where you are. In other words, you will be given analytical and functional tools for manoeuvring - insideyour mind, but also in the world. You will be able to understand and do something about those three ways your mind works: How you experience, interpret and make sense of the world, how you act, and how you react. And more. Much more.

The next chapters will tell you how. Here, we shall explain why.

The Tip of the Iceberg, the Physical Limitations and the Bottlenecks

Before we move on, we should spend just a little time contemplating the relative importance and influence of the conscious mind.

It is amazing, isn’t it, how we live our lives through a very limited surface level of consciousness, through an inner room or space of self-awareness. In that room, we experience life, through thoughts, ideas and abstractions, feelings and emotional “states of mind”, sensory input and sensations. It is not only passive, of course, but also a control and communications center: From there, we can take active part in life, through actions and communication with the outside world, thus manifesting life in a continuing process of creating ourselves – and our world.

Not a small task in itself. But this conscious part of ours has its limitations.

The fact is that we can never fully experience, understand or be a part of “reality”. Our brains obviously have limited capabilities, related to such areas as perception and storage, for example. Our senses give us selected and filtered information from the outer world, narrowed down to certain frequencies or impulses. Leaving mysticism and ESP out of this discussion, we must accept that, in everyday life, our consciousness is limited to what is physically possible. Our lives are journeys through space and time, which, as least to some degree, are limited, pre-determined and pre-set by the hardware. Within these physical barriers, the mind is not completely, totally “free”, and it never will be.

And that is not all. Then we have the other-than-conscious: The “-un” and “-sub”, you know. (And, by the way, you shouldn’t be too worried about the specifics here, we may in fact use them interchangeably, although we mostly prefer the “-sub”. We are not that niggling about such details, and they often overlap.)

To make a long story short: We are not only living within limited physical realities, but within our individually produced interpretations, our own mind–constructions of what life is and who we are. Much of the information and definitions of what makes up you are stored down below, in those the sub- and unconscious levels. Not only that; they are also active in filtering your experiences and responses, and even creating and/or modifying your activation impulses. So, the conscious part of you is not the complete you; it is dependent upon these other parts, which are not only passive memory banks used for storage: They are more in charge than most people are aware of; that is simply how we are made. This is important to understand before we move on – we shall soon discuss this in more details. But this is the fundament, the necessary bottom line that we have to know, first of all.

Accepting this will itself be a significant step in the right direction. Luckily, we have access to more than the tip of the iceberg - at least potentially. There is an ongoing interaction between the conscious and what is present underneath the surface, and it should be going both ways. Neither can function without the other. We just need to create a working connection. And that has a lot to do with what this book is all about.

The Subconscious and Patterns

A lot of what is found in the subconscious domain is represented by and through shortcuts and helpers for the conscious mind. Here, we describe and define them under the general umbrella of patterns. These are pre-programmed behavioural components, and some of those strongly influence how we function in our daily lives. They may be sub- or unconscious, or even partially conscious. But being mostly “automatic” or at least “semi-automatic” in nature, they are working underneath the surface, below our conscious level of awareness. Even if we are aware of them, they are being used without us thinking (much) about it.

Patterns come in all kinds of different shapes and forms, so to speak. Some are general, others are more specific. Some are strong, others are weak. There are patterns related to how we think, how we feel, how we act and react. Some are innate and common for many or all of us. But quite a few are learned, and have become natural parts of us without us even noticing it, perhaps especially the parental and familial ones, influencing us from very early on. We may here include everything from basic personality traits to cultural influences and beliefs. Any of those behavioural “units” did not have to be strong or intense in order to be installed. Even small details and minor traits, features, characteristics, habits, manners and quirks (to name a few, you may add as many as you wish) can be effectively duplicated inside us, as they are being reinforced, over, over and over again, through regularity and repetition.

When it comes to taking in information from the outer world, they act as powerful filtering and priority channels, building upon previous experience. Being participants in a complex world, our minds are set up in a way that they are required to make sense of it all, working all the time to place those units of information in context: Deciphering, defining and storing according to importance, priority and associations. These processes are going on continuously, based on a sophisticated and intricate system of organization, following principles and rules that have already been clearly established and defined: Based on, and made to fit to, what is already programmed.

Communicating the other way, they not only filter and modify what goes from the subconscious to the conscious when the conscious part is active, but they also produce impulses. Has it ever occurred to you that those inducing factors that just pop up have to come from somewhere, whatever form they may take, whether they are thoughts, feelings or motivations and activation impulses to do something? They do not come out of the blue; they must necessarily have to be initiated, assembled, and produced somewhere before they are sent to the conscious surface - and that is being done in those factories deep down. And that is being done regularly, and for a reason. And the conscious part is only at the receiving end. Now, that’s worth a thought or two.

Our minds are heavily influenced by a multitude of such patterns, all the time. Then, the question necessarily arises: Who is in charge inside? Is our conscious mind-theatre nothing more than an observer of automatic mechanisms, having few other functions than to communicate the prefabricated (also by those factories down below, of course) explanations for whatever robotic behaviour we are exhibiting – or even who we choose to be?

Far from it. But we are, to some degree, running on automatic, all of us. And make no mistake about it: That is not all negative or dysfunctional - quite the contrary. Especially those everyday patterns and functions are not only helpful, but indispensable. They are there for a reason, and that is to make life easier for us. They save us a lot of time; we do not have to reinvent the wheel every so often, and they can protect us in so many ways, as some are functioning as effective survival mechanisms, too. So, besides being products of evolution, we are to some extent standing on the shoulders of, if not necessarily giants, at least somebody - that is, our mentors as well as our predecessors - that did some hard work and handed over what they considered being the best possible alternatives to us. Thus, in some areas of life, there is a free lunch, after all: It has already been paid for by those that came before us, near or far, close or distant.

The Need For Taking Charge

So, patterns are helpful, at least more often than not. But you have probably, more than once, observed something that made you think “how in the whole wide world could he or she do/act/say/accept something so totally meaningless/ naïve/ stupid/ absurd/ destructive/ pointless/ ugly/ disastrous/ repulsive/ inane/ silly/ harmful/ meaningless (or whatever - add your own choice)? And why are some people banging their heads in the same wall, over and over again? Or, on a larger scale, why has the world gone (or always been, for that matter) mad, nuts, bonkers?

Having developed those inner automatic systems to such a level has come at a price. Certain patterns may become completely outdated and need to be changed, in fact, sometimes they may be outright destructive. Too often, we are lost in antiquated settings, or perhaps loops and spirals, of which we have little or no use. We may find ourselves locked in a psychological prison, or a labyrinth, not being able to find a way out, because our mental resources of looking for and evaluating other possibilities are not there: They do not pass through our filtering systems so that they reach our conscious levels, and may not be activated at all. We may be blind to other possibilities, and the ability to investigate, analyze and interpret anything may become seriously limited. Our experience of life can even be reduced; circling around whatever themes our subconscious may allow us to play with. We may be locked in, confined to a limited zone where some deeper parts of ourselves have defined and set up the barriers, and we may not even be aware of it: Our inner resources are not only stuck in some static mode, but have become seriously distorted or damaged.

Although being educated individuals in what at least on the surface may appear to be advanced and “enlightened” cultures, all too many of us are still following the old trails, having neglected or, for whatever reasons, missed the opportunity to move on to the next stage: To understand and take charge of our inner resources, to where we are administering, controlling and designing our own lives. Therefore, too many of us just struggle through our individual lives as best we can, making it up as we go along, making use of the patterns and experiences that we have brought with us. And, in the hustle and bustle of our busy daily lives, we are stuck with ourselves, within ourselves, and there is little time left for analysis, reflection, change, growth and improvement.

It is amazing, isn’t it, how so many go through life without even the most basic understanding of how their minds work. Think about it: You would not even consider becoming successful in any profession, or in athletics and sports, for example, or whatever - in anything! - without spending the time and efforts and without getting the necessary education, training and experience.

Which is more than we can say about how the School of Life prepares us for living our own lives.

This is how it has been, and this is how it is today. So many of us are rigidly pattern-driven, with rather inflexible internal systems. And without the tools and insights we are about to discuss here, it is difficult, if not impossible, to detect our own obstructions, blockages and malfunctions. The vast majority of us are blind, or at least somewhat near-sighted, to some degree, to some of them, in some areas. In other words, we all may have something to learn here.

Then again: Life isn’t always easy, and we do not come to this planet equipped with built–in user manuals or with a complete set of pre–installed mental software. Therefore, we should not begin our journey here being ashamed, guilty or regretful of who we are and what we have become, as individuals, as groups or as a species. Seriously, there is far too much of that going around already. From the very beginning, we, as all other animals, have had to make use of our resources as best we could, often relying on primitive, innate and tribal survival mechanisms and strategies that, although outdated today, may be perfectly understood and explained from the perspectives of evolutionary, biological and social psychology. And inheriting such patterns from previous generations has probably helped us survive.

Add generous amounts of common stupidity and ignorance, superstition, a huge bunch of tyrannical, corrupt and even insane leaders and a dash of regularly appearing mass hysteria to that soup, and you may find it impressive if not outright unbelievable that humanity is still present on this planet. Living in and through all this, we have had to make mistakes, by trying and failing, taking two steps forward and even going backwards - many, many times. So, this is the summa summarum: We are where we are - and who we are, for a number of quite explainable reasons.

True, we are so much more than the sum of our parts. We are definitely not limited to being nothing but semi–automatic robots, forever running on autopilot. More correctly, our potential is much greater than that. But our auto-circuits, functional or not, useful or not, are all too often activated and in charge, and, unfortunately, especially when we are facing problems or challenges. Too often, too many of us are being pushed and pulled, back and forth, by these self-activating and seemingly unreachable, uncontrollable installations. Even if we repeat the mantra of free will over and over, the deeper parts of us may not agree, and they continue to play their own games. We are not always the master of our own residence. And that, we are going to change.

Connecting the Conscious and the Subconscious to Make Changes - Effectively

No matter how much we try, we may not be able to get into every nook and cranny of our subconscious and our deepest automatic control systems. And, fortunately, neither do we have to. For example, much of the internal monitoring of physiological activities is running on autopilot, so, usually, the body is, for the most part, able to take care of itself. In fact, it could not be done any other way. Even if we could override some of these systems, we would not have the time to do so. It will never be necessary to constantly check a countless number of bodily functions, from blood pressure to digestion, the release of hormones and a variety of other substances, the status of internal organs (especially the kidneys and the liver on Saturday night?) or the filtering of pain signals, together with countless others. Compare that to what’s going on inside your computer while you’re playing Solitaire: Innumerable computations without you being aware of it – without having to know anything about it, even! And, as far as your body is concerned, the time you save can be used for more important tasks, such as experiencing life, for example by having enjoyable sensory experiences, being creative or doing something useful. Or playing Solitaire.

Monitoring the bodily functions is one thing, but that is also the case for our “Ego maintenance and supervision”. It deserves and needs repeating: Luckily, most of our automated functions and programming are useful. The subconscious is, after all, supposed to do what it is doing. We will never have to change, repair or replace all of the inventory down there, no matter how many individual problems we seem to have - superficially. We should perhaps be grateful and send it some thanks, every once in a while. After all, it is doing the best of what it is being presented with, and it seldom goes completely on strike, no matter how it is being treated (okay, it may freeze in protective mode and/or need some mind engineering once in a while, but it is amazingly self-reliant and self-repairing, after all). Most of its functions and programming we may want to keep as they are. For the most of us, there is not very much we actually need to change. That is important to understand and accept before we become overwhelmed, stuck in the delusional state of “everything is wrong with me”. It is not.

So, we may want to make some changes, then. If for nothing else, it would at least be interesting to explore the possibilities! The problem is that those deeper systems are designed for continuation and do not give priority to sudden changes – and especially not those based on our own “will”: That is, a sudden idea in our conscious, that something deep down there should have the courtesy and consideration to turn around and adjust according to our commands – or wishes - in an instant. Not so.

We will have to face the fact that many patterns are strongly and firmly established with a high level of priority, and/or have been around for so long that it is difficult to get rid of them just with a shrug. ”Resistance” to change is usually an essential part of the pattern itself. After all, any good and strong pattern should resist change. If it is important, it should fight for its life! It is the inherent strength of the pattern, its place in the pattern hierarchy, so to speak, that determines the resistance. Although a powerful motivation, either caused by inspiration or desperation, may be effective at times, that isn’t always the case. By continually banging our heads on the same concrete wall, attempting to use “will power”, we may go on forever, with little or no results where it is really needed. We may even create strong inner conflicts, with quite negative reactions, and finally end up where we began, or worse.

The conscious part of us, which so many are so proud of, is just not strong enough and does not have the training to effectively influence the deeper levels. The problem: Our erasing and adjusting mechanisms are not enough developed. We are simply not equipped with a universal zeroing device or a general reset function. Quite the contrary, these patterns have their own positive feedback and reinforcement systems, meaning that they get stronger with use – and naturally we use the most influential of them all the time. And all too often, we are blind to other possibilities. Oh, that filtering again!

After a few half-hearted attempts, our inner systems will say something like, “Well, that’s not enough. If this is so important to you, you will have to keep working on it, and with a level of intensity that shows us you are serious about the priorities. And you will have to do it right. If not, we will not respond at all.”

But change is possible. Again, the subconscious is supposed to do what it is doing. There is nothing basically wrong with its design. It is just that the correct instructions must be delivered from above-down, using a map and with the knowledge of how to apply the correct commands in certain specific areas. Eventually, the subconscious must comply, respond and adapt.

Most people may, in the beginning of such a turning process, feel just like the first time they tried to learn something: driving a car, riding a bicycle, taking the first dance steps. They do not have the knowledge, the skills or the experience. Even the guts to try, to dive into the unknown. Or, if they have tried something even remotely similar before, and failed, they may feel insecure and doubtful. Some are skeptical by nature (or through their patterns!) and believe that any system like this is nothing but a hoax - they have read all those self-help books and listened to those “motivators” out there and have gotten nowhere. Others may think that any personal changes are extremely complicated and take a lot of time and effort, if not being completely impossible - or possibly attainable for everybody else but themselves. It is not, it is only a question of having an efficient, usable system and spending some time applying and integrating the principles.

It is quite possible to make impressive changes, rapidly and effectively. There is a two–way connection between the conscious and the levels below. Any hypnotist knows that the subconscious is accessible, manageable - and “malleable”. Our room of conscious awareness is designed as a control center, and is not completely isolated and closed from the rest of the body-mind system. The inner space of self-consciousness functions not only as an interface - or intermediate, if you will - between us and the outer world, but also between our conscious selves and our deeper levels. It is just that the “functional software”, or rather the references, or guiding maps, are lacking. Thus, we are often using it more as a theatre of passive experience than an active creativity workshop. We have ended up accepting or reacting to whatever comes along, from the outside, or even from whatever is being produced in the deeper parts of ourselves, repeating the mantra of “this is just how I am” ad infinitum. But there are handles, buttons and knobs that we may activate, maps to be found, knowledge to be learned and techniques and tools to be used.

Change does not have to be difficult. With our maps, analyzing and dividing inner functions and systems into understandable chunks, we may manipulate and influence one part or unit at a time, without battling each and every individual problem. We will then be instructing our lower levels which direction is preferable, often even without having to work with the most difficult and resisting patterns directly. Also, awareness alone is a great and powerful adjusting, regulating and even fine-tuning device.

Social Influences, Design, and the Mental Marketplace

When working with the material in this book, it is unavoidable to confront the fact that much of what makes up many of our patterns, especially the cultural, and perhaps even central core beliefs, are the products of somebody else’s design. The crucial difference, as compared to many other patterns, is that we erroneously believe – or insist! - that we have consciously chosen those ourselves, using our free will and the rational parts of the mind.

Not always so.

How you have been influenced by your family and your nearest is one thing. That may explain a lot regarding your personality and character; your preferences, interests, habits, routines and so on, not to forget how you react to stress and challenges But also minor traits and peculiarities, such as scratching your nose when you think about solving a problem, just like your father and grandfather did - or a zillion other small things that make up the complete you. Which is fine.

Equally important is that so many of the major themes (for example political ideologies, religious beliefs and so on) you have been exposed to in the culture in which you have grown up, and probably identify yourself with, are almost always the result of constructed realities and concepts: Designs that certain individuals, groups or institutions may have created and produced for a purpose; something that, for some reason (and there’s always a reason!), they have wanted others to accept and follow.

We do not have to go that far back in time to find that most people probably had no choice but to accept whatever rigid norms, teachings, beliefs, instructions, rituals, traditions, laws and commands that were handed down to them from above. Depending on where you live, this may also be true today, although often in more subtle ways. This is still possible because it is quite natural for most of us to accept our world as it is, incorporating so much of it into our interior mental maps without resistance, without objecting, without thinking twice. If our lives are good enough, and the so-called social contract is relatively acceptable to us, we have not reached a pain threshold (that is, feeling so bad that it actually hurts) or an action potential (Where the threshold has been reached, where we go from non-action to action, often to force any major changes). Our guards are lowered, and we are used to passively taking in whatever is presented to us. Thus, a lot will slip in and find some place in our inner systems without us even noticing it.

Look at some pictures from three, four, five decades ago - clothes, haircuts, eyeglasses, furniture – and the list may go on and on. And what about the TV shows and the music? Minor things, yes, but most people just followed the crowd. Those of us that have lived “for some time” – and perhaps a little longer than we care to admit - may easily agree that we accepted most of it without questioning. We also accepted how society worked, most of us, or “chose” one of the major sides, politically, for example, but also in many other areas. Perhaps we simply inherited our views and standpoints. We accepted being a part somewhere inside of that big commonly accepted map of reality that we define as the mainstream.

There are more choices today, true. We are in a position where we seemingly can select our (now also virtual) reality. We are, as you know, for the first time in history, living in a super-technological, worldwide media community. This, our stone age brains are not prepared for. We are not only being constantly bombarded with more input than we can handle (and, yes, we’ll cover that, too, later on), but our inner systems are not designed to manage and deal with such a myriad of options that are available.

So, we are choosing, or at least, so we believe, the contents and the definitions of our world, to a greater extent than before, but without the qualifications, knowledge and training, using outdated strategies, and still from a rather limited inventory. Or, we are accepting some new and fancy choices, but they are still pre-designed and pre-digested: Assembled and put together, like those of previous generations, by somebody, somewhere, in a package that may appear appealing, but may not be useful, and maybe not created to be in your individual best interest at all.

We are constantly being sold “mental” products through conscious, skilfully targeted manipulation and marketing strategies. The modern equivalents of bread and circuses are available to keep “the masses” satisfied, not to avoid revolutions and riots, but to tickle our pleasure centers and create followers and paying consumers. We are the potential recipients of a never-ending tsunami of mental design influences. You are part of an immense marketplace, and you should know that your choices, in just about any area of life, have a certain value in that market.

The ultimate goal of this book is for you to own your own mind, and to create your own world. That is why this part is so important that we have included it in the first chapter. We shall later go deeper into discussing some cultural and political factors during the last centuries that have been causative in shaping the world we are living in today. So far, it is enough that this has been brought to your attention, and that you may begin developing and using your awareness.

***

Hopefully, this introduction has not only made you think, but inspired you - and perhaps scared you. If alarm bells are ringing, so much the better. This is important stuff. And it is time for a change. You will have to accept that you cannot change everything around you - and neither do you have the right to. There is one thing that you can and should change.

You can change you.

And how you want your world to be.

It is now time to take a look at the first map, and have a first, close encounter with what and who this book is all about: Ego. You.

2. You and Your Universe: A First Map

First Things First: Why the Title of the Book?

Ego is the Latin word for “I”. We may say that it can represent or mean “self”. Nothing more, nothing less. So, the book may have been named just that, or perhaps “You”. After all, you are the very center of attention here. So why not?

The first reason is quite obvious: That word, Ego, has a reputation. And it is used with connotations and associations that are valuable when making some important points related to the purpose of this book.

If you search for synonyms, similarities, definitions and associations, you will find quite a few examples which may indicate that possessing any of those qualities will definitely not increase the value of your karma account: Arrogance, hubris, pretentiousness, self-importance, vanity, narcissism, pompousness, bigheadedness (!), self-glory (wow), snobbishness, superiority, lordliness (another “!”), overconfidence, a swollen self-image, haughtiness (meaning blatantly and disdainfully proud), yes, even being an enemy of society! And the list could go on and on.

And look at this definition: “An often unjustified feeling of being pleased with oneself or with one's situation or achievements.” No less.

It would be a waste of time and space to continue, but you are getting the idea. But, before we continue, let’s get one thing straight: Yes, there are quite a few individuals representing more than enough of what has been described above.

But let us try to find out if there’s another other side of the coin.

When searching for antonyms (words with opposite meanings and definitions), we often find that they are often almost spiritual and saint-like. Dictionaries are overflowing with examples such as modesty, selflessness, humbleness and humility, but also those representing self-hate and low self-esteem. Start looking for books, especially in the “self-development” and “spirituality” sections, and you will find truckloads of them describing the ego or the self as The Problem über alles, and that we would probably be better off without one. The anti-ego market is obviously thriving, alive and well. And we are not talking about the somewhat limited definition of the word used in certain areas of psychology, we are referring to the conventional, everyday use of it.

Elevating the antithesis to such celestial levels is not only useless, but seriously threatening to one’s mental well-being and development: If accepted, allowed into one’s belief system and applied in daily life, it opens for all kinds of manipulation. It may weaken many of our defenses and reduce our ability to function as strong, healthy individuals. Please, take notes: Self-effacing hyper-humility is not the solution to anything and will lead you nowhere.

So, there we are, and this background is perfect in illustrating this book’s major theme. Readers may be anywhere along the scale or curve - or, as we are using maps a lot here, anywhere on a map of those extremes mentioned above. Regardless, we want to work towards finding back to one’s true, optimally functioning moi. Ego is here used in the original meaning, the complete person. What we are looking at in this book is the development and, should we say, the renaissance, of the mature ego, which is balanced, flexible, self-sustaining and functional, as well as no-nonsense, responsible, reliable, cultivated. And with that comes noblesse oblige. If you cannot wait to read more about that, go to the last chapter. But don’t stay there too long, come back here. You have work to do. So let us begin.

***

Ego: A First Meeting - Visualizing Your Universe

We are here introducing the first map, containing what makes up your world, therefore it is here called your Universe.

Please note that there are no diagrams or illustrations in this book, and that is for a reason: You are expected (no, not only encouraged, but hereby ordered!!!) to make them yourself, as you will have to practice what you learn, and you will have to make notes as you are progressing. In doing so, you will dig so much deeper than by just skimming through the chapters and watching some illustrations. Reading is not doing, and thinking is not doing, either. Getting things down on paper will not only give you a better understanding of everything you have read, but also take you some steps closer to manifesting anything, whether it is by making changes or by going towards something that is entirely new. Also, by using this book, you have begun an exciting journey: We can almost guarantee that you will find it valuable and interesting, not only at various stages while using this book, but also several years from now, to go back and look at where you came from and what progress you have made.

***

Use a large sheet of paper, or you may work on a computer. Only make sure that you have enough room both for notes and the map that you are about to make.

Draw a small inner circle with several concentric circles around it. Place as many of the important parts that you can come up with, making up your world: Family, close or not-so-close friends, your workplace, colleagues and co-workers, different groups and hierarchies, the place you live, your country, with its culture, traditions and political systems - anything you can think of. Make as many circles as you wish, include as many factors as you want - that is up to you. Those mentioned are only examples. Place them in descending importance from the center and outwards.

Also, spend some time contemplating what is of the least importance in your life, that is far out in the periphery, which you have no use for, maybe somebody that you detest or even hate - or something you would have preferred not to have there at all, something or somebody that you’d prefer to ignore completely, or that you want to throw out. To make some areas stand out and differ from the others, you may choose to use different colours, for example, but that is also up to you.

What changes would you like to make if you could? Getting somebody or something closer or further away? Think about what is not present at all, that you may want - or need - to add. Play with it for a while.

Let us not forget the most important part: Your Universe is not complete without yourself in it. But who or what is located in the center? Ideally, it should be you yourself inhabiting that innermost circle. Unfortunately, that isn’t always so. The most important question of this exercise, then, is this: If you are not taking up center space yourself, then you must necessarily be circling around it, like another satellite. How far away from that center are you? And what is occupying that very core where you yourself should, and have every right, to be?

So many are having quite a revelation, as if hit by lightning, often realizing it for the first time when creating this map: They are living their lives through somebody or something else. Often it is their children, or maybe they are tied to their parents or other members of the family in a way that is not all that healthy. Work, clients, professional prestige and reputation, career and status may make them into something they deep inside are not. Or, as we have just mentioned, they may have read too many (okay, one is too many) of those anti-ego “self-help” books? It is possible to be politically, spiritually, religiously or culturally suppressed to where one’s self-worth ends up being incapacitated, impaired, impotent, powerless, paralyzed, seriously damaged - or even chronically crippled.

Then there is the possibility of escapism. Some may not have much of a life of their own at all; living mainly through daydreams or fantasies, possibly through celebrities and stars, or through some authorities, gurus or leaders that are more important than themselves.

Bu, please make a note – this is important: We may all face situations so extreme, so challenging, so dangerous, so important, so devastating, that it is necessary to set aside our own needs and wants and put our own lives on standby, at least for some time. Somebody or something may need us, and we have to rise to the occasion and focus all our attention and energy on that which is outside ourselves. Such is life, sometimes. But it cannot be the theme of our lives. Not forever. If you are stuck in such a situation, do what you can. Eventually, things will work out.