Eldercare For Dummies E-Book

Rachelle Zukerman

• Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
• Kategorie: Ratgeber
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 577

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2011

Beschreibung

Cope with legal, financial, and medical issues Minimize anxiety and stress and make the later years golden Need help caring for an elderly loved one? This sensitive, reassuring guide provides strategies for assessing older persons' needs, arranging for care, ensuring their safety, and enhancing quality of life - all while respecting their dignity. You'll see how to manage physical disabilities and chronic health problems, evaluate nursing homes, and help elders control their destinies. The Dummies Way * Explanations in plain English * "Get in, get out" information * Icons and other navigational aids * Tear-out cheat sheet * Top ten lists * A dash of humor and fun

Leseprobe

Eldercare For Dummies®

by Rachelle Zukerman, PhD

Eldercare For Dummies®

Published byWiley Publishing, Inc.111 River St.Hoboken, NJ 07030-5774www.wiley.com

Copyright © 2003 by Wiley Publishing, Inc., Indianapolis, Indiana

Published simultaneously in Canada

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Library of Congress Control Number: 2003101893

ISBN: 978-0-7645-2469-1

Manufactured in the United States of America

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About the Author

Rachelle Zukerman, Ph.D. is Professor Emeritus of Social Welfare at UCLA, a gerontologist, and a clinical social worker. She is also a Visiting Professor at the University of Hong Kong and a Fulbright Scholar. For the past 20 years, her teaching, research, writing, and her heart have been fixed on the goal of helping to make the later years the best years.

She is the author of Young at Heart: A Mature Woman’s Guide to Finding and Keeping Romance (Contemporary Books, division of McGraw-Hill) and Aging Into the 21st Century (Brunner/Mazel). She has also edited and authored four textbooks on counseling that are used in colleges and professional schools across the United States and have been translated into Japanese and Korean.

Dr. Zukerman is a sought-after lecturer and a speaker for seminars and workshops in the United States and abroad. Her audiences have included students on college campuses and in community education programs, cruise-ship passengers on all of the major cruise lines, and mature adults in senior centers and adult learning centers. She is a frequent and lively guest on television and radio talk shows.

Dedication

This book is dedicated to my brother, Harry Abramson, an extraordinary caregiver, who took care of our father and now looks after our mother with endless patience, utmost respect, and infinite love.

Author’s Acknowledgments

I would like to thank Bubba Sally — the very first old person I ever knew. She has been gone from my life for over 40 years, but her wise and loving presence in my childhood shaped the very best parts of me, including my fascination, admiration, and compassion for our oldest citizens.

Elsa Efran has my deepest appreciation. She has edited nearly everything I have written in the last 15 years. I would be lost without her expertise and emotional support and, in this particular book, her willingness to share her personal experience in caregiving. Thanks also to Maria Carpiac, my very smart research assistant, who found answers for every “doozie” I sent her way.

Kelly Ewing, Project Editor, and I clicked immediately. This book is better for her guidance and editing. I was blessed to have a superb team at Wiley, including Kathy Cox, Acquisitions Editor, Kristie Rees, Project Coordinator, layout staff, proofreaders, and the indexer. Thanks also to my brilliant team of technical reviewers — Pat Lorne, Jim Davis, and Carol Akright. David Grady and Susan Payne also added their expertise to the reviewing process. Sheree Bykofsky, my agent, deserves a special thanks for bringing this project to me.

I am grateful to caregivers Herschel Rubin, Anna Maria Alverto, Tina Silver, Nancy Lippman, Leslie Ferebee, and Linda Newman who enlivened the text with their real-life stories. Bonnie Faherty, Karen Lee, and Renee Feiger (a nurse and two social workers) generously responded to my endless questions about their work with the elderly. Colleen Friend, who honors me with her unflinching support of my work, may not think she deserves mention. I assure you, she does.

I am especially grateful to the youngest in my family: Shawn (a talented writer), Brett (a gifted mathematician), and the baby girls, Lindsay, Skylar, and Tori (the smartest, most gorgeous toddlers in the whole world) — and I’m not prejudiced! These grandchildren, along with their great- grandmother, Frances Abramson, keep me in awe of the circle of life while they encircle me with their love.

But most of all, I thank my extraordinary husband, Jay Zukerman. Every day with Jay is a gift.

Publisher’s Acknowledgments

We’re proud of this book; please send us your comments through our Dummies online registration form located at www.dummies.com/register/.

Some of the people who helped bring this book to market include the following:

Acquisitions, Editorial, and Media Development

Project Editor: Kelly Ewing

Acquisitions Editor: Kathy Cox

General Reviewers: Patricia C. Lorne, RDH, MSG; James W. Davis, Jr., MD; and Carol Akright, CFP

Senior Permissions Editor: Carmen Krikorian

Editorial Manager: Michelle Hacker

Cover Photos: © Tom Stewart/CORBIS

Cartoons: Rich Tennant, www.the5thwave.com

Composition Services

Project Coordinator: Kristie Rees

Layout and Graphics: LeAndra Johnson, Kristin McMullan, Tiffany Muth, Jackie Nicholas, Jeremey Unger, Erin Zeltner

Proofreaders: John Tyler Connoley, Charles Spencer,TECHBOOKS Production Services

Indexer: Aptara

Publishing and Editorial for Consumer Dummies

Diane Graves Steele, Vice President and Publisher, Consumer Dummies

Joyce Pepple, Acquisitions Director, Consumer Dummies

Kristin A. Cocks, Product Development Director, Consumer Dummies

Michael Spring, Vice President and Publisher, Travel

Brice Gosnell, Publishing Director, Travel

Suzanne Jannetta, Editorial Director, Travel

Publishing for Technology Dummies

Andy Cummings, Vice President and Publisher, Dummies Technology/General User

Composition Services

Gerry Fahey, Vice President of Production Services

Debbie Stailey, Director of Composition Services

Contents

Title

Introduction

About This Book

Conventions Used in This Book

Foolish Assumptions

How This Book Is Organized

Icons Used in This Book

Where to Go from Here

Part I : Entering the World of Caregiving

Chapter 1: Eldercare Basics

Recognizing the Challenges of Aging

Making Difficult End-of-Life Decisions

Acknowledging That Help Is Needed

Understanding Your Options

Enhancing the Quality of Life

Chapter 2: The Elderly Are Like Vintage Computers

Understanding Slower, Older Models

Managing with Less Memory

Making the Most Out of What You’ve Got!

Preserving Dignity

Chapter 3: Old Age Is a Family Affair: Deciding Who, What, Where, and When

Surviving Caregiving

Recognizing the Pitfalls of Providing Care

Ensuring Care When the Caregiver Lives in Another City or State

Rotating Care When Necessary

Determining When You Need a Family Conference

Asking Family Members to “Chip In”

Keeping the Elderly Person in His or Her Own Home

Moving Your Elder in with Adult Children

Chapter 4: Where to Turn When Your Elder Needs a New Home

Understanding the Differences Between Housing Options for Seniors

Being in the Know about Nursing Home Care

Watching Out for Abuse and Neglect

Part II : Mastering Everyday Challenges

Chapter 5: Sleeping Well Means Doing Well

When Staying Asleep Is Easier Said Than Done

Chapter 6: Helping Finicky Eaters

Refusing Food

Stimulating the Appetite When All Else Fails

Swallowing Difficulties

Spoon-Feeding with Dignity

Caring for the Never-Thirsty Elderly

Chapter 7: Helping Elderly People Be All That They Can Be

Bathing Made Easy

Dressing Challenges

Keeping Smiles Bright and Mouths Healthy

Keeping an Old Brain “Young at Heart”

Exercising

Giving a Hug a Day Keeps the Doctor Away

Chapter 8: Sharing the Caring

Identifying Caregiver Burnout

Helping Hands Are Welcome Hands

Hiring Help Wisely

Coping When the Help Doesn’t Show Up

Chapter 9: Growing Closer and Dearer: Improving Relationships

Working on the Relationship

Understanding How Resentment Happens

Accepting the Relationship as It Is

Part III : Keeping Elderly Folks Safe and Sound

Chapter 10: Living Well with Chronic Medical Conditions

Understanding Chronic Disease

Being Observant Can Save a Precious Life

Communicating with the Doctor

Chapter 11: Just Say “Yes” to Health-Giving Drugs

Making the Most of Medications

Recognizing and Preventing Adverse Drug Reactions

Cutting Costs

Using Over-the-Counter Drugs

Considering Alternative and Complementary Treatments

Steering Clear of Treatment Scams

Chapter 12: Protective Doohickeys and Thingamajigs

Elder-Proofing the Home

Creating Safe Surroundings for a Live-Alone Older Person

Creating Safe Surroundings for the Older Person Who Lives with You

Finding the Right Assistive Devices

Preventing Falls

Caring for Delicate Skin

Chapter 13: Dealing with Leaky Plumbing and Other Incontinence Problems

Coping with Urinary Incontinence

Dealing with Bowel Incontinence

Saying Goodbye to Embarrassment

Obtaining Incontinence Supplies and Equipment

Maintaining Health and Cleanliness

Chapter 14: Getting Out and About

Planning Goes a Long Way

Traveling

Discovering Senior Discounts and Freebies

Part IV : The Blues, the “Good Old Days,” and Other Senior Moments

Chapter 15: When the Clouds Roll In: Dealing with Depression

The Blues

Grief

Clinical Depression

Chapter 16: Managing Anxiety

Recognizing an Anxiety Disorder

Calming Down

Seeking Professional Help

Chapter 17: All About Alzheimer’s Disease

Understanding Alzheimer’s Disease

Recognizing the Warning Signs of Alzheimer’s Disease

Becoming Familiar with the Alzheimer’s Disease Stages

Getting a Diagnosis

Considering Treatment

Planning for the Future

Chapter 18: Managing the Distressing Behavior and Emotions of Confused Elderly

Coping with Difficult Behavior

Understanding Your Elder’s Emotions

Part V : Making the Final Years Golden

Chapter 19: When “The Apple of Your Eye” Needs a Peer

Long-Lost Friends

Old Friends

New Friends

Phone Partners, Pen Pals, and E-Mail Buddies

Online Communities

Chapter 20: Keeping Your Elder at the Helm

Promoting Choice

Making Last Wishes Come True with Estate Planning

Considering Funeral Preplanning

Creating a Living Legacy

Chapter 21: Keeping the Bill Collector from the Door

Paying for Health Care

Taking Advantage of Retirement and Income Benefits

Getting Those Pesky Bills Paid

Understanding the Ins and Outs of Conservatorship

Chapter 22: Helping Spiritual and Religious Elderly “Keep the Faith”

Bringing the Church Home

Revisiting Religious Roots

Praying and Meditating

Growing Spiritually

Chapter 23: Ensuring a Good Death

Dying with Dignity

Speaking About the Unspeakable

Engaging Hospice Care

Witnessing the Final Hours

Taking Charge When a Loved One Dies

Facing Life Without Your Elder

Part VI : The Part of Tens

Chapter 24: Ten Tests to Help You Assess a Nursing Home

The Respect and Dignity Test

The “Is It Just a Job or Do They Really Care?” Test

The Rhythm of Life Test

The Good Neighbor Test

The Administrator Test

The Safety Test

The Sniff Test

The Taste Test

The Cozy Test

The Location Test

Chapter 25: Ten Ways (More or Less) That Elders Hide Their Feelings

Denying the Truth

Complaining of Aches and Pains

Displaying False Bravado

Exaggerating Helplessness

Doing Busywork

Digging in Their Heels

Remembering Selectively

Idealizing

Misdirecting Anger

Introduction

My own baby daughterwas the first person I ever took care of. I loved her immeasurably, but no amount of affection helped when she was colicky and irritable, or when she held her breath and turned blue. I had no clue about how to straighten her out when she got her days mixed up with her nights. Thank goodness, someone gave me a copy of Dr. Spock’s Baby and Child Care (E.P. Dutton). The pages became dog-eared and the cover tattered before my children graduated from diapers. Dr. Spock’s book lived on my nightstand for years — a good place for it, because most problems seemed to occur in the middle of the night.

Mind you, elders aren’t babies, but I wrote Eldercare For Dummies with those long-ago memories still fresh in my mind, and I jam-packed it full of answers to eldercare questions, problems, and crises. Even if you’ve cared for an older person before, you always face new dilemmas. Think of Eldercare For Dummies as your new best friend, your partner in care, and your personal coach.

About This Book

This book covers a lot of ground. It covers eldercare in the home, in the community, and in an institution. It addresses chronic health problems and disability; financial and legal issues; and intricate family relationships. The tips, techniques, and strategies on these pages are for part-time caregivers, long-distance caregivers, and 24-hour-a-day caregivers.

Conventions Used in This Book

In this book, anyone who cares deeply for your elder is called family. The term your elder encompasses any older person (parent, spouse, relative, or friend) you care for. Many elders have illnesses that impair their memory and thinking. Wherever I can, I refer to such folks as simply confused rather than identifying them by the name of a specific dementing disease.

I also recommend a number of free pamphlets and guides throughout the book. In some instances, products do have costs. Keep in mind that the prices I quote are subject to change.

Lastly, the F symbol within text tells you which links to click within a Web site to access critical information.

Foolish Assumptions

In one way or another, almost everyone is interested in eldercare. If you’re not helping an elderly loved one now, you can probably look ahead to the day when you may.

How This Book Is Organized

Everybody’s busy these days — especially if they’re caregivers. I organized Eldercare For Dummies so that you can open it at practically any spot and get the information you need without having to read a whole chapter first. Here’s an overview of what you can find in each of the six parts.

Part I: Entering the World of Caregiving

“He’s just not what he used to be,” may describe your elder to a tee. In this part, I show you how to figure out what your older person needs to maintain or improve his or her functioning and stay independent for as long as possible. You discover ways to involve other family members in eldercare — without twisting their arms — and ways to cope with the painful realization that in-home care may no longer be doable.

Part II: Mastering Everyday Challenges

Often, the best medicine is a good night’s sleep, a hearty meal, a bit of activity for the body and brain, and a great big bear hug. This part shows you how to help your elder fully partake in these pleasures and how to get the eldercare assistance you need so that you, too, can eat, drink, and be merry.

Part III: Keeping Elderly Folks Safe and Sound

A loose floor tile or dimly lit stairwell can change an older person’s life. A misstep can lead to a broken hip, the loss of independence, and a decline in overall health. In another scenario, a neglected illness or mismanaged medication can land your loved one in a hospital bed. The chapters in this part present a potpourri of valuable tips for keeping the elder safe, healthy, and engaged in the world.

Part IV: The Blues, the “Good Old Days,” and Other Senior Moments

The four chapters that comprise Part IV show what it’s like to be sad, fearful, or bewildered in old age. In many ways, this part is a toolkit loaded with the tools to help your elder recover from overwhelming grief or anxiety and to assist you in understanding and managing the symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease and other assaults on the brain.

Part V: Making the Final Years Golden

Most folks want to shape their own destiny — even when they depend on others for their care. I packed this part with information about how to fulfill last wishes and about applying for the health insurance and retirement income needed in the later years. Special attention is given to friendship, spirituality, and the final hours of life.

Part VI: The Part of Tens

Every For Dummies book has a part of tens — and this one is no exception! If you fancy yourself a bit of an undercover detective, you’ll really like the chapters about the ten things elders do to hide their feelings and the ten ways to evaluate a nursing home.

Icons Used in This Book

I’ve sprinkled cute little icons throughout this book, but there’s a method to my madness. The symbols in the margins help you weave your way through the book more efficiently. Here’s an explanation of each icon.

This icon points out time-, energy-, and aggravation-savers that turn beginning caregivers into experts.

This icon is your guardian angel, helping you keep your elder out of harm’s way.

If you want to dazzle your friends and family with facts, figures, and scientific studies, read the technical information next to this icon. Otherwise, skip the information it highlights.

This icon is your cybernetic pathway to morecaregiving information, community resources, and a host of freebies.

If you’re caring for a confused elder, you need additional information and resources. This icon gives you just that, as well as a window into what it’s like to suffer from memory loss and impaired thinking.

This icon lets you know when it’s time to consult a medical professional.

Where to Go from Here

You needn’t read this book from cover to cover; feel free to skip around, letting your current caregiving needs and dilemmas direct you to relevant parts, chapters, and paragraphs. Although most of the content in Eldercare For Dummies focuses on taking care of your older adult, don’t forget to take care of yourself! Chapter 8 tells you whether or not you’re a victim of caregiver stress and, if so, what to do about it. Chapter 3 provides solutions for some of the emotional pitfalls of providing care (including guilt and despair), and Chapter 9 helps you achieve a sense of peace by showing you how to create a warmer, more intimate relationship with your older person.

Part I

Entering the World of Caregiving

In this part . . .

If you feel bad because your elder is no longer as fit as a fiddle or raring to go, remember that it’s no picnic for her either. In this part, you find out what your older person truly needs to remain independent and how to help in a way that preserves her dignity — and your sanity.

Chapter 1

Eldercare Basics

In This Chapter

Understanding the frailties of old age

Uncovering your elder’s needs

Previewing housing options

Making your elder’s days safer and more meaningful

Contrary to what many folks think, aging isn’t a disease to overcome — it’s simply a normal part of living. Declines in your long-living person’s physical and mental functioning present new challenges. But chronic illnesses, family squabbles, and the sheer amount of work involved make caregiving one of the most difficult jobs anyone can have. It’s important to know that you’re not alone. The array of resources to help you cope is vast. In this book, I tell you everything I know to make your job easier.

Recognizing the Challenges of Aging

People over 65 are more diverse than people in any other age group. The varied life experiences of those who live a long time probably account for much of the individual uniqueness. People also age in different ways. Some folks remain healthy and active into their 80s, while others become frail early on. Even within an individual, organs age at different speeds. For example, Dad’s ticker may be strong, but his digestive system seems to be falling apart.

A person who has smoked for decades, has rarely exercised, has eaten poorly, and has worked with hazardous materials as a young person probably will age differently than a person who has had another lifestyle.

How old is old?

If you feel old — you’re old. If you feel young — you’re young. Nothing is magical about the number 65. But that number has been the widely accepted jumping-off point for “old” since 1935, when President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed an act creating an insurance program that paid eligible retirees, age 65 or older, a continuing income. You know it as Social Security.