Emotional Healing For Dummies E-Book

David Beales

• Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
• Kategorie: Ratgeber
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 572

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2009

Beschreibung

At some point in their lives, most people will have thought:

• “He should never have said that”
• “How could she treat me this way?”
• “I feel guilty when I remember what I said to him”
• “I’m so angry I can’t bear it”

Usually, we don’t feel that we can discuss these hurtful emotions, such as guilt, anger or jealousy, with our friends and families, let alone go to a GP for advice on dealing with them. We’re a nation that bottles things up, dismissing anger, frustration, hatred and guilt as largely insignificant to our minds and bodies. But powerful emotions like these do affect us in a long-term way, not only mentally but also physically, and it’s important to know how to get them under control before our health really suffers.

This easy-to-follow, plain-English guide shows you why and how emotions can leave a physical scar, and talks about various life factors and influences that can lead to emotional stress. It will help you heal your emotional traumas with a toolkit of strategies, and allows you to take care of your health with a practical, hands-on approach.

Emotional Healing For Dummies covers:

PART 1: INTRODUCING EMOTIONAL HEALING  
Chapter 1: Understanding Emotional Healing
Chapter 2: Exploring the Physiology of Emotion
Chapter 3: Tuning into Emotions

PART 2: EMOTIONS AND YOUR BODY
Chapter 4: You are What you Eat
Chapter 5: Body Rhythms
Chapter 6: Physical Strategies for Emotional Healing

PART 3: EMOTIONAL HEALING FOR REAL LIFE
Chapter 7: Mapping the Emotional Environment
Chapter 8: Facing up to Emotional Challenges
Chapter 9: Managing Relationships
Chapter 10: Strategies for Getting through Tough Times
Chapter 11: Life’s Transitions

PART 4: THE EMOTIONAL HEALING TOOLKIT
Chapter 12: Thinking Strategies for Emotional Healing 
Chapter 13: Mindfulness Practices to Rebalance
Chapter 14: Lifestyle Strategies for Emotional Healing
Chapter 15: Becoming the Emotionally Healed Person

PART 5: TAKING YOUR HEALING TO ANOTHER LEVEL
Chapter 16: Planning to Manage Emotions in the Future
Chapter 17: Inspiring Healing in Others
Chapter 18: Helping your Child to Heal 

PART 6: THE PART OF TENS    
Chapter 19: Ten Ways to Heal Emotional Wounds
Chapter 20 Ten Ways to Stay Positive
Chapter 21: Ten Exercises for Emotional Healing

Leseprobe

Emotional Healing For Dummies®

Table of Contents

Introduction

About This Book

Conventions Used in This Book

Foolish Assumptions

How This Book Is Organised

Part I: Introducing Emotional Healing

Part II: Emotions and Your Body

Part III: Emotional Healing for Real Life

Part IV: The Emotional Healing Toolkit

Part V: Taking Your Healing to New Levels

Part VI: The Part of Tens

Appendix

Icons Used in This Book

Where to Go from Here

Part I: Introducing Emotional Healing

Chapter 1: Understanding Emotional Healing

Appreciating the Role of Emotions

Sending signals to yourself

Assessing your basic needs

Considering whether your needs are being met

Linking Thoughts and Feelings

Conditioning your emotional responses

Recognising your mental models

Recognising How Emotions Influence Actions

Acting sensibly – or not

Getting stuck in old pain

Unsticking yourself

Encountering Obstacles

Journeying through the Emotional Healing Process

Chapter 2: Exploring the Physiology of Emotion

Understanding the Threat Response

Looking at the brain’s reactions to threats

Tackling the persistent stress response

Ensuring reactions to threat don’t hijack thought

Unravelling feelings from thinking

Listening to Your Body Talk

Recognising how emotions manifest in the body

Understanding where you hold emotions

Healing the cause and not just the symptom

Knowing how to respond to body talk in words

Dealing with depression

Tuning Into Your Breathing

Understanding over-breathing

Using the six-breaths-a-minute technique

Chapter 3: Tuning In to Your Emotions

Observing Your Emotional Gauge

Starting out: I feel. . .

Journaling emotions for self-discovery

Noticing your breathing signals

Listening to the intuitive whispers

Making Friends with Your Feelings

Accepting your emotional responses

Understanding that feelings are about meeting needs

Pattern matching to past emotional events

Focusing on the positives

Calling Time Out

Cutting out the emotional noise

Taking a break from overwhelming feelings

Part II: Emotions and Your Body

Chapter 4: Unravelling Feelings and Food: What’s Eating You?

Identifying Emotional Undercurrents in Your Eating Habits

Considering how eating affects mood

Analysing how feelings affect eating habits

Working through Feelings Relating to Food

Recognising that you deserve to eat well

Understanding the symbolism of food

Letting go of childhood conditioning

Having a healthy body image

Adopting Healthy Eating Habits

Minimising unhealthy eating

Eating well for health and mood

Minding what you eat

Creating a Healthy-Living Plan

Getting in the right mindset

Aiming for a healthy weight

Setting your goals

Making a self-care plan

Chapter 5: Tackling Tiredness: Following Your Body Rhythms

Letting Your Body Follow Nature’s Way

Tuning In to the Rhythms of the Day

Knowing when you work best

Balancing rest and activity

Re-energising through breath

Considering Seasonal Rhythms

Recharging Your Body: Getting a Good Night’s Sleep

Understanding why your body needs good sleep

Knowing how much sleep you need

Developing healthy sleep patterns

Avoiding Fatigue

Recognising the symptoms of profound tiredness

Identifying what’s wearing you out

Steering clear of burnout and dis-ease

Chapter 6: Actively Engaging in Your Emotional Healing

Exercising for the Good of Your Body and Mind

Re-balancing your chemistry

Releasing emotions during exercise

Choosing the right exercise for you

Paying Attention

Walking mindfully

Journeying through nature

Recalling favourite stories

Slowing your pace

Shifting Old Emotions through Bodywork

Adjusting your posture and releasing defensive body armour

Quietening your body and mind through movement

Freeing your spirit through dance

Breathing the Breath of Life through Song

Conducting your breathing rhythms for singing

Singing to restore positive emotions

Part III: Emotional Healing for Real Life

Chapter 7: Putting Your Emotions in Context

Researching Your Family History

Resolving Old Family Issues

Examining expectations

Defining yourself

Realising that no one has a perfect childhood

Releasing old traumas through words and action

Choosing to share your feelings

Finding forgiveness

Identifying Your Support Network

Making one-on-one connections

Going for groups

Balancing Your Life: Choosing Priorities

Masking your emotions with over-activity

Gauging your work-life balance

Managing the ups and downs of life

Gender bending – housework needs doing

Travelling Along Life’s Emotional Journey

Matching emotions to events

Appreciating the nature of needs

Switching the messages

Chapter 8: Facing Up to Emotional Challenges

Working Through Denial

Avoiding emotions

Opening up

Projecting Your Feelings onto Others

Expressing Emotions Appropriately

Talking with your body

Using words

Defusing anger

Reducing the Impact of Traumatic Events

Asking for help

Managing post-traumatic stress

Re-parenting yourself

Developing emotional resilience

Coming to Terms with Disappointment

Forgiving yourself and others

Finding your personal mantra

Building on your past

Chapter 9: Managing Relationships

Bonding with Others: No One Is an Island

Loving yourself so you can love others

Knowing where to look for love

Spending time with people who make you feel good

Relating to the Opposite Sex: Me Tarzan You Jane!

Looking at emotions during puberty

Seeing how biological difference impacts feelings

Coping When You Feel Let Down

Identifying your needs

Considering your expectations

Releasing blame

Keeping things real

Dealing with Anger

Thinking about where you direct your anger

Measuring your internal pressure cooker

Taking time out to control anger

Dealing with abuse

Healing Your Relationships

Letting go of past hurt

Talking through problems

Thinking about how you relate to others

Bringing out the best in one another

Chapter 10: Getting Through Tough Times

Working Through Grief

Understanding the phases of grieving

Tuning into your grieving process

Boosting immune function

Overcoming Fears

Fearing failure

Avoiding feeling sad

Recovering courage

Managing Rejection

Locating your sense of control

Rebounding after rejection

Putting rejection in perspective

Separating from Significant Others

Mending your broken heart

Working towards reconciliation

Daring to date

Chapter 11: Coping with Life’s Transitions

Riding the Waves of Change

Reviewing your peaks and troughs

Gaining emotional maturity: Considering perspectives

Flowing with the endings and beginnings

Shedding redundant emotional skins to achieve happiness

Growing Up Emotionally

Listening to your inner child, adult and parent

Taking responsibility in the adult world

Triangulating: Acting in threes

Spotting and rewriting scripts

Making Sense of Illness, Ageing and Death

Dealing with illness and disability

Managing the ageing process

Facing death in peace

Part IV: The Emotional Healing Toolkit

Chapter 12: Managing Feelings with Thinking Strategies

Seeing How Thinking Impacts Feeling

Examining self-generated emotions

Switching out of distorted thinking

Thinking rationally

Choosing thoughts that make you feel good

Controlling Your Emotional Responses

Living in the Moment

Focusing on the present

Curbing your assumptions

Embracing the Healing Power of Laughter

Chapter 13: Finding Insight through Mindfulness

Stilling Your Mind

Becoming aware

Finding your observing self

Going further

Visualising Emotional Healing

Practising Mindfulness Every Day

Being, not doing

Responding to your activity cycles

Moving into Meditation

Changing state: Breathing space meditation

Choosing wise action

Chapter 14: Using Day-to-Day Strategies for Emotional Healing

Expressing Your Emotional Needs

Giving yourself an emotional check-up

Taking care of yourself

Sharing solutions

Finding new perspectives

Preparing for difficult conversations

Changing Behaviours Day by Day

Taking tiny steps

Motivating yourself

Injecting Creativity into Your Day

Taking little creative breaks

Letting go of your inner critic

Developing the artist within

Playing with words: Poetry

Chapter 15: Living as an Emotionally Healed Person

Tuning Up Your Body and Mind

Getting physical

Thinking your way to better health

Maintaining physical energy

Attending to Your Emotional Needs

Finding security through trust

Getting intimate

Balancing Your Personal and Social Needs

Finding alone time

Developing healthy boundaries

Satisfying Your Spiritual Needs

Finding your special purpose in life

Allowing your unique gifts to shine

Developing compassion for yourself and others

Sketching Your Vision and Goals

Finding new meaning in life

Stepping out of your comfort zone

Part V: Taking Your Healing to New Levels

Chapter 16: Planning Ahead: Handling Difficult Emotions in the Future

Responding to Difficult Situations

Identifying potential challenges

Taking action

Managing emotions – your own and others’

Dealing with fear

Taking One Step at a Time

Reviewing what heals and what doesn’t

Rehearsing to overcome obstacles

Working together

Visualising success

Staying out of the rut

Acknowledging, releasing and growing again

Chapter 17: Inspiring Healing in Others

Understanding that Emotions Are Infectious

Feeling as a group

Breaking with the pack

Taking responsibility for your emotional message

Helping Others to Heal

Making time to listen

Giving love and empathy

Changing Emotional Patterns in Relationships

Recognising (and not reopening) old wounds

Helping others move on

Chapter 18: Helping Your Child Heal

Creating Time to Accept and Grieve

Feeling the feelings

Knowing what’s normal

Guiding your child along the path

Helping Your Child Express Feelings

Getting down to those feelings

Releasing anger and guilt safely

Facing guilt as a parent

Finding support for children

Moving On from Traumatic Events

Daring to discipline

Looking forward

Part VI: The Part of Tens

Chapter 19: Ten Ways to Heal Emotional Wounds

Setting Your Own Agenda

Reflecting Before Acting

Developing Better Sleep Patterns

Moving towards Acceptance

Quietening Your Breath for Ten Minutes

Scanning Your Body

Keeping Your Body Flexible

Finding Your Relaxation Response

Improving Your Breathing Chemistry

Taking Action

Chapter 20: Ten Ways to Stay Positive

Recognising Your Emotional Needs

Accepting Your Need to Belong

Focusing on Your Strengths

Detecting Prolonged Stress and Taking Action

Rehearsing Best Outcomes

Moving Beyond Old Traumas

Switching to Supportive Emotions

Living in the Now

Expressing Feelings in Words

Changing Your Thinking

Chapter 21: Ten Activities for Emotional Healing

Treating Emotions as Friends

Practising Loving Kindness

Taking Time for Morning Mindfulness and Journaling

Releasing Pain and Finding Compassion

Brushing Away Negative Thoughts

Adopting Healthy Eating Choices

Gaining Perspective

Creating Boundaries

Accepting Your Body

Finding Patience and Peace

Appendix: Useful Contacts and Resources

Emotional Healing For Dummies®

by Dr David Beales and Helen Whitten

Emotional Healing For Dummies®

Published byJohn Wiley & Sons, LtdThe AtriumSouthern GateChichesterWest SussexPO19 8SQEngland

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About the Authors

Dr David Beales, FRCP MRCGP DCH Dip Psych, is a faculty member of the Royal College of Physicians, Royal College of General Practitioners and the Royal Society of Medicine. He was formerly Chief Medical Officer of the Bristol Cancer Help Centre and has more than 30 years’ experience in the field of medicine. David lectures, conducts workshops and has an individual practice.

David works within the speciality of mind-body medicine and aims to help clients understand and relieve the impact of sustained stress. When this gets locked into body-mind an over-revved state is created where signals of distress need to be interpreted and relieved. Symptoms may range from anxiety and depression to functional syndromes like irritable bowel, fibromyalgia and chronic pain. These disturbances of inner balance can be resolved by creating the mind-body tool kit that allows the recovery of health and well being. David’s aim in this book is to distil the fruits of his experience, culled from many disciplines.

Helen Whitten is a personal and executive coach, accredited by the Association for Coaching. She is founder and Managing Director of Positiveworks Ltd and is also a practising facilitator, mediator, trainer and writer. She is trained in cognitive-behavioural psychology and neuro-linguistic programming, and applies cognitive-behavioural coaching models to personal and professional development, enabling individuals to develop confidence, break through old patterns of behaviour and achieve greater potential in their lives and their careers.

Helen is the author of Cognitive-Behavioural Coaching Techniques For Dummies, is a member of the Association for Coaching, the International Stress Management Association and the CIPD and is a CEDR Accredited Mediator. She has a degree in history and a postgraduate in personnel management.

Helen’s career began in publishing and historical research. In mid-life she decided to pursue her interest in people and psychology, went to university as a mature student and changed career. This transition required her to face many of her own fears, healing personal issues so as to develop the self-knowledge required to work with others. Helen believes that people have the potential to enhance every aspect of their life, relationships and happiness when given the right support, encouragement, tools and techniques.

Authors’ Acknowledgments

We would like to say a special thank you to our clients and all those who have shared their stories with us. We have been inspired and honoured to have worked with some wonderful and courageous people who have shared their personal experiences and challenges with us and found the resilience to move towards healing.

We would like to thank our sons, families, friends and colleagues who have put us through our paces over the years and no doubt taught us some of the lessons we needed to learn! We recognise that there are plenty more lessons to come.

Thanks also to Steve Edwards and the team at John Wiley, for their editorial comments, encouragement and support in bringing this book to publication. And to Anna Rawlinson for her technical expertise.

Are you ready to take a whole new look at emotions? This book tackles them from every angle – mind, body and spirit – explaining why they are an essential part of human nature, and how to live in lively harmony with a full spectrum of emotions. I don’t believe there is anyone who couldn’t learn something from this comprehensive little book.

- David Peters, Professor of Integrated Healthcare at the University of Westminster

This book will show you how to re-channel all the energy you unknowingly used to cause yourself pain and suffering into healing yourself. By simply becoming aware of the power of breathing to influence all aspects of physical, mental and emotional health you can awaken to a new life experience which will be yours to nurture and enjoy. I have pulled myself out of a 30-year self-destructive pattern by applying the principles covered in this book and cannot praise its authors highly enough.

- Diana Bellinger, Client of David Beales

Publisher’s Acknowledgments

We’re proud of this book; please send us your comments through our Dummies online registration form located at www.dummies.com/register/.

Some of the people who helped bring this book to market include the following:

Commissioning, Editorial, and Media Development

Project Editor: Steve Edwards

Content Editor: Jo Theedom

Commissioning Editor: Wejdan Ismail

Assistant Editor: Jennifer Prytherch

Development Editor: Brian Kramer

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Technical Editor: Anna Rawlinson

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Cartoons: Ed McLachlan

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Indexer: Ty Koontz

Brand Reviewer: Jennifer Bingham

Introduction

Emotional healing relates to every human being: no one has a perfect life. You have probably, like everyone else, been hurt or misunderstood, been in conflict or in love, experienced acceptance or rejection, and suffered losses, including bereavement. Most of the time you’re able to dust yourself down and carry on, but at other times certain experiences result in wounds that linger on, negatively influencing your life.

Unhealed emotions can result in dysfunctional relationships, depression and physical and mental illness. Unresolved issues and emotional trauma can be locked deep inside your body and mind, creating disturbed bodily responses, emotional reactivity leading to problematic thinking and behaviour. Therefore, taking time to explore your own issues is extremely worthwhile, so that you can release them and move forward.

Emotional healing is required when you hold on to memories or feelings that still cause you pain. Your underlying drive as a human being is to seek pleasure and avoid pain. As you transition through many different life events this goal can become easier because you get better at identifying things that make you happy and more adept at avoiding things that cause you pain. You also develop resilience and develop ways to manage your emotions more effectively. Yet certain memories and events may still disturb you even as you face old age and death. Finding a way to make peace with past pain and grievances enables you to heal.

This book can help you explore and achieve emotional healing in problematic areas of your own life. We recognise that doing so takes great courage on your part, and we salute you for the step you’re taking in picking up the book. We want to help you free yourself of past burdens, take control of your life and find ways to enjoy aspects of it that you may have had difficulty enjoying before.

About This Book

Our aim in writing this book is to give you the opportunity to heal yourself or work with others in their emotional healing. We have extensive experience of working with people to address mental, emotional and physical problems. We’re sharing with you the models and processes that have helped our clients – and us in our own lives.

We offer you a wide variety of methods to transform the way you think about and manage the events, memories and concerns of your life. We hope that these options enable you to heal and come to terms with areas of your life that have not worked out the way you wanted.

Inevitably, people encounter a huge range of diverse emotional experiences, from the everyday irritations and disappointments of life to major traumas and tragedies. We can’t cover every situation in this book. We’re fully aware of, and a little in awe of, our responsibility to those of you who have the courage to face your difficulties. We very much hope that you can adapt the models and stories we share with you to suit your own specific situations and begin to find healing.

Conventions Used in This Book

To help you gain the most from this book and be able to pick up information and suggestions as quickly as possible, we use certain conventions:

We refer to those individuals who have come to us for support as clients. Nearly all the information in this book can relate to any reader, and so we sometimes refer to a client as ‘he’ and sometimes as ‘she’. For general examples and those in which clients aren’t named, we use male gender in odd-numbered chapters and female in even-numbered chapters.

The personal stories and examples come from specific experiences within our coaching and counselling practices, but they aren’t direct representations of any one client or event.

Sometimes we use the term ‘feeling’ and other times we use ‘emotion’. We refer to a feeling when it is a more direct bodily experience and the word emotion when we discuss a situation where action is necessary.

Foolish Assumptions

We assume, though we may be wrong, that some of the following statements apply to you:

You’re seeking to address and release emotional pain.

You want some methods, tools and techniques to support your healing.

You may be working to help others achieve emotional healing.

You may connect with some of the stories and examples we use and be able to apply the lessons to your own life.

You’re willing to explore the subject of emotional healing in order to enhance your own life or that of someone you know.

How This Book Is Organised

We divide the book into six parts, and each part has a specific focus. The Table of Contents gives you an overview of how we divide chapters and topics. Although we cover many aspects of emotional healing throughout the book, you don’t have to read it from start to finish. You can skip or refer directly to any section that may resonate with your own life.

Part I: Introducing Emotional Healing

We introduce you to the subject of emotional healing and how you can tune into your own emotions. When you understand how your mind, body and emotions are closely linked, you can pick up on your body’s warning signals that your emotions are disturbed. We introduce you to the Emotional Healing Process, which provides you with steps to stop, breathe and take space to observe how you’re responding to life challenges. We share with you ways to recognise your physical symptoms and make good decisions about how to take actions that reflect your personal needs and goals.

Part II: Emotions and Your Body

Recognising that your mind, body and emotions are a finely tuned and integrated system is essential to creating balance and wellbeing in the future. We help you consider how your body is responding to your emotional experiences and give you strategies to care for yourself and encourage good health. We show how your breath is the conductor of your emotions, signalling when you’re disturbed and providing you with the key to rebalancing and achieving emotional equilibrium.

Part III: Emotional Healing for Real Life

Get ready to review your own life, exploring childhood influences and life events that may have been difficult or traumatic. You discover the role of expectations in your response to emotional situations and find the courage to identify and move through past pain so that you can forgive yourself and others. We help you to understand the phases of loss and grief so that you can be patient with yourself in your healing process and let go of past pain. You even find tips and strategies to prepare for life’s transitions and imperfections.

Part IV: The Emotional Healing Toolkit

We introduce you to four specific clusters of approaches that help you to heal yourself emotionally now and in the future. We give you thinking strategies to ensure that your mind focuses on optimistic, rational and constructive thoughts. We focus on mindfulness – sharing our favourite practices to relax and quieten body and mind through a variety of strategies, including breathing techniques – and provide suggestions for lifestyle strategies that you can practise every day in order to maintain emotional balance. In addition, we describe several practices and behaviours that you can adopt to become an emotionally healed person.

Part V: Taking Your Healing to New Levels

We help you begin to think about your future as well as the emotional health of people around you. We show you how to ensure that you don’t fall back into old behaviours and instead enjoy and move through the next stages of your life. Your emotional state impacts other people, and so we describe how you can use your own knowledge to help others heal, including your children.

Part VI: The Part of Tens

In the Part of Tens, we share quick tips and stories that serve as speedy reference points. You find strategies to heal your emotional wounds and develop good lifestyle practices and activities that help you maintain your health and positivity.

Appendix

This resource lists contact details of organisations that can further support your healing. We include websites that lead you to specific information and share a booklist of titles that enable you to discover even more about emotional healing.

Icons Used in This Book

We use the following icons in this book so that you can immediately identify which parts of the book can be helpful to you:

This icon highlights practical advice that you can apply in your own life.

Bear in mind the crucial information under this icon while reading the book – and throughout your life in general.

Take a second look at material under this icon; it may well help you avoid a pitfall.

Read this story or short case study based on one of our real-life clients to discover some specific truths of the emotional healing process.

Time to get going! Do these activities and get ready to reap the rewards of emotional healing.

This icon indicates a topic or question that you need to stop and consider in order to ask yourself whether this sort of thing happens in your own life.

Where to Go from Here

We suggest that you take a good look at the Table of Contents and have a quick flip through the book in order to get an overview of the subjects we cover. Then take some time – perhaps have a walk outside or a few minutes to just sit and think – to reflect quietly on how the topics you noticed impact your own life.

Of course, you can skip to any part of the book that you feel is most relevant, but if possible, start by reading Part I because this part introduces you to many of the basic concepts that we touch on again and again in the book. After that, feel free to read the book in exactly the way you choose.

You may find that this book and its activities churn up past wounds. Be gentle with yourself and take a little time out. Talk with a friend or counsellor about the issues that are raised. Getting professional help can provide you with a safe environment in which to discuss your feelings and find a way through to healing.

Part I

Introducing Emotional Healing

In this part . . .

Take a moment and think about what healing yourself emotionally may mean for you personally. In this part, you discover how your body uses physical symptoms to alert you to emotional disturbance and how you can begin to tune in to these messages so you can take action to address your emotional problems.

We share information about the biology of emotions and how it impacts your body’s self-healing system. We also give you specific techniques that help you re-balance and re-set your body’s stress response.

Chapter 1

Understanding Emotional Healing

In This Chapter

Uncovering your emotional needs

Using thoughts to feel better

Getting out of stuck states

Releasing yourself from past pain

Certain events in your life – bereavement, accidents, divorce or the negative emotional responses of other people – can affect you deeply. As a result, you may experience anger, fear, guilt, anxiety, hurt and a host of other painful emotions. You can probably name some people who become bitter after a minor disappointment and other people who suffer trauma and yet manage to smile again. Although time can play its part, the difference is in the way you think about your situation and in the support you receive.

Emotional healing occurs when events in your life no longer disturb you when you recall them or limit you from enjoying life. Clinging to misery and holding onto negative emotions isn’t virtuous. You can unburden yourself and move forward with a lighter step. This book is your opportunity to review how you’re thinking and feeling about these events in order to move on and heal your wounds.

The key to healing emotions lies not in what you experience but in how you respond. The quality of your life depends more on your emotional state than on specific events. You can ease or adjust any feeling by adopting a different perspective.