Emotional Intelligence In Action E-Book

Marcia Hughes

• Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
• Kategorie: Fachliteratur
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 383

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2011

Beschreibung

Emotional Intelligence in Action shows how to tap the power of EI through forty-six exercises that can be used to build effective emotional skills and create real change. The workouts are designed to align with the four leading emotional intelligence measures--EQ-I or EQ-360, ECI 360, MSCEIT, and EQ Map, --or can be used independently or as part of a wider leadership and management development program. All of the book's forty-six exercises offer experiential learning scenarios that have been proven to enhance emotional intelligence competencies.

Leseprobe

Table of Contents

Praise

About This Book

Why is this topic important?

What can you achieve with this book?

How is this book organized?

About Pfeiffer

Dedication

Title Page

Copyright Page

Foreword

Acknowledgments

Introduction

PURPOSE

AUDIENCE

ASSESSMENTS

HOW THIS BOOK IS ORGANIZED

KEY TERMS

ICONS

FACILITATOR COMPETENCIES

FACILITATOR GUIDELINES

PART ONE - Using Emotional Intelligence to Create Real Change

CHAPTER 1 - The Case for Emotional Intelligence

EMOTIONS: WHAT ARE THEY?

EMOTIONS AND IDENTITY

EMOTIONAL POWER

CHAPTER 2 - How Everyone Can Use the Workouts

BAR-ON EMOTIONAL QUOTIENT INVENTORY (EQ-i AND EQ-360)

EMOTIONAL COMPETENCE INVENTORY—ECI 360 (GOLEMAN & BOYATZIS)

THEMSCEIT™ (MAYER, SALOVEY, & CARUSO)

THE EQ MAP (ORIOLI & COOPER)

CROSS-REFERENCE MATRIX

PART TWO - Exploring Fifteen Competencies of Emotional Intelligence

A BRIEF OVERVIEW OF THE FIFTEEN COMPETENCIES

STARS AND MOVIES

COMPETENCY 1 - Self-Regard

WHAT IS IT?

WHY SHOULD WE CARE ABOUT SELF-REGARD?

HOW CAN WE BUILD SELF-REGARD?

TRANSFORMATIONAL BENEFITS

STAR PERFORMER

REEL PERFORMER

COMPETENCY 2 - Emotional Self-Awareness

WHAT IS IT?

WHY SHOULD WE CARE ABOUT EMOTIONAL SELF-AWARENESS?

HOW CAN WE BUILD EMOTIONAL SELF-AWARENESS?

TRANSFORMATIONAL BENEFITS

STAR PERFORMER

REEL PERFORMER

COMPETENCY 3 - Assertiveness

WHAT IS IT?

WHY SHOULD I CARE ABOUT ASSERTIVENESS?

HOW CAN WE BUILD ASSERTIVENESS?

TRANSFORMATIONAL BENEFITS

STAR PERFORMER

REEL PERFORMER

COMPETENCY 4 - Independence

WHAT IS IT?

WHY SHOULD WE CARE ABOUT INDEPENDENCE?

HOW CAN WE BUILD INDEPENDENCE?

TRANSFORMATIONAL BENEFITS

STAR PERFORMER

REEL PERFORMER

COMPETENCY 5 - Self-Actualization

WHAT IS IT?

WHY SHOULD WE CARE ABOUT SELF-ACTUALIZATION?

HOW CAN WE BUILD SELF-ACTUALIZATION?

TRANSFORMATIONAL BENEFITS

STAR PERFORMER

REEL PERFORMER

COMPETENCY 6 - Empathy

WHAT IS IT?

WHY SHOULD WE CARE ABOUT EMPATHY?

HOW CAN WE BUILD EMPATHY?

TRANSFORMATIONAL BENEFITS

STAR PERFORMER

REEL PERFORMER

COMPETENCY 7 - Social Responsibility

WHAT IS IT?

WHY SHOULD WE CARE ABOUT SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY?

HOW CAN WE BUILD SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY?

TRANSFORMATIONAL BENEFITS

STAR PERFORMER

REEL PERFORMER

COMPETENCY 8 - Interpersonal Relationships

WHAT ARE THEY?

WHY SHOULD WE CARE ABOUT INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS?

HOW CAN WE BUILD INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS?

TRANSFORMATIONAL BENEFITS

STAR PERFORMER

REEL PERFORMER

COMPETENCY 9 - Stress Tolerance

WHAT IS IT?

WHY SHOULD WE CARE ABOUT STRESS TOLERANCE?

HOW CAN WE BUILD STRESS TOLERANCE?

TRANSFORMATIONAL BENEFITS

STAR PERFORMER

REEL PERFORMER

COMPETENCY 10 - Impulse Control

WHAT IS IT?

WHY SHOULD WE CAR ABOUT IMPULSE CONTROL?

HOW CAN WE BUILD IMPULSE CONTROL?

TRANSFORMATIONAL BENEFITS

STAR PERFORMER

REEL PERFORMER

COMPETENCY 11 - Reality Testing

WHAT IS IT?

WHY SHOULD WE CARE ABOUT REALITY TESTING?

HOW CAN WE BUILD REALITY TESTING?

TRANSFORMATIONAL BENEFITS

STAR PERFORMER

REEL PERFORMER

COMPETENCY 12 - Flexibility

WHAT IS IT?

WHY SHOULD WE CARE ABOUT FLEXIBILITY?

HOW CAN WE BUILD FLEXIBILITY?

TRANSFORMATIONAL BENEFITS

STAR PERFORMER

REEL PERFORMER

COMPETENCY 13 - Problem Solving

WHAT IS IT?

WHY SHOULD WE CARE ABOUT PROBLEM SOLVING?

HOW CAN WE BUILD OUR PROBLEM SOLVING COMPETENCIES?

TRANSFORMATIONAL BENEFITS

STAR PERFORMER

REEL PERFORMER

COMPETENCY 14 - Optimism

WHAT IS IT?

WHY SHOULD WE CARE ABOUT OPTIMISM?

HOW CAN WE BUILD OPTIMISM?

TRANSFORMATIONAL BENEFITS

STAR PERFORMER

REEL PERFORMER

COMPETENCY 15 - Happiness

WHAT IS IT?

WHY SHOULD WE CARE ABOUT HAPPINESS?

HOW CAN WE BUILD HAPPINESS?

TRANSFORMATIONAL BENEFITS

STAR PERFORMER

REEL PERFORMER

PART THREE - Emotional Intelligence Workouts to Build Effective Skills

BE INFORMED

FACILITATOR SKILLS

CHANGE

USING THE WORKOUTS

WORKOUT 1.1 - Self-Regard

OF THINE OWN SELF BE AWARE HANDOUT

WORKOUT 1.2 - Self-Regard

RECONCILIATION HANDOUT

WORKOUT 1.3 - Self-Regard

ASPECT AND ROLES HANDOUT

WORKOUT 2.1 - Emotional Self-Awareness

ARE YOU IN TOUCH? HANDOUT

WORKOUT 2.2 - Emotional Self-Awareness

IT JUST BUBBLES UP HANDOUT

WORKOUT 2.3 - Emotional Self-Awareness

MOVING TOWARD AND MOVING AWAY HANDOUT

WORKOUT 2.4 - Emotional Self-Awareness

WORKOUT 3.1 - Assertiveness

ROLE-PLAY TEMPLATE

RAMP IT UP HANDOUT

WORKOUT 3.2 - Assertiveness

DIAL IT BACK HANDOUT

WORKOUT 3.3 - Assertiveness

GETTING YOUR POINT ACROSS HANDOUT

WORKOUT 4.1 - Independence

CUT THE APRON STRINGS HANDOUT

WORKOUT 4.2 - Independence

SOLITARY EFFORT HANDOUT

WORKOUT 4.3 - Independence

GOING ALONG WITH THE GROUP— OR NOT—HANDOUT

WORKOUT 5.1 - Self-Actualization

THE SCAVENGER HUNT HANDOUT

WORKOUT 5.2 - Self-Actualization

BECOMING ALL THAT YOU CAN BE HANDOUT

WORKOUT 5.3 - Self-Actualization

APPLYING INSPIRATION HANDOUT

WORKOUT 6.1 - Empathy

WORKOUT 6.2 - Empathy

MIXED EMOTIONS HANDOUT

Scenario One: Ships in the Night

Scenario Two: Complex Feelings

WORKOUT 6.3 - Empathy

DO AS THE EMPATHIC DO HANDOUT

WORKOUT 7.1 - Social Responsibility

REFLECT THE BEST HANDOUT

WORKOUT 7.2 - Social Responsibility

WHO DO I WORK FOR? HANDOUT

WORKOUT 7.3 - Social Responsibility

WORKOUT 8.1 - Interpersonal Relationships

YOU’VE GOT GOOD NEWS HANDOUT

WORKOUT 8.2 - Interpersonal Relationships

MAKING NEW FRIENDS HANDOUT

WORKOUT 8.3 - Interpersonal Relationships

WORKOUT 9.1 - Stress Tolerance

PERSONALITY QUIZ HANDOUT

SCORING SHEET

‘CAUSE YOU’VE GOT PERSONALITY HANDOUT

WORKOUT 9.2 - Stress Tolerance

WORKOUT 9.3 - Stress Tolerance

DEEP CENTER BREATHING HANDOUT

WORKOUT 10.1 - Impulse Control

KING LEAR, ACT 1, SCENE 1, HANDOUT

TO IMPULSE OR NOT TO IMPULSE HANDOUT

WORKOUT 10.2 - Impulse Control

THE URGE TO SPLURGE HANDOUT - PCG ChangeNow™ Model*

WORKOUT 10.3 - Impulse Control

HOT BUTTONS HANDOUT

WORKOUT 11.1 - Reality Testing

FEEL, HEAR, SEE—IS IT REALITY? HANDOUT

WORKOUT 11.2 - Reality Testing

VISIT THEIR REALITY HANDOUT

WORKOUT 11.3 - Reality Testing

USING ALL THREE OF YOUR MINDS HANDOUT

WORKOUT 12.1 - Flexibility

NO MORE SHUTDOWNS HANDOUT - Moving from Shutdown (SD) to Possibility (P)

WORKOUT 12.2 - Flexibility

YES, NO, MAYBE SO HANDOUT

WORKOUT 12.3 - Flexibility

WORKOUT 13.1 - Problem Solving

COZY COFFEE VS. NATIONAL BIGGIE

MASTERSOLVE MODEL FOR TEAMS HANDOUT - The Collaborative Growth MasterSolve ...

WORKOUT 13.2 - Problem Solving

WIN-WIN NEGOTIATING HANDOUT

WORKOUT 13.3 - Problem Solving

LET’S COVER OUR BASES HANDOUT

WORKOUT 14.1 - Optimism

BE SOLUTION-FOCUSED HANDOUT

WORKOUT 14.2 - Optimism

WORKOUT 14.3 - Optimism

THE OPTIMISTIC EXPLANATION HANDOUT

WORKOUT 15.1 - Happiness

GROWING MY HAPPINESS HANDOUT

WORKOUT 15.2 - Happiness

REFERENCE

WORKOUT 15.3 - Happiness

Resources

References

About the Authors

Index

How to Use the CD-ROM

More Praise for Emotional Intelligence in Action

“Creating the metrics necessary to measure emotional intelligence was a daunting task. But teaching others how to change their behavior is an altogether different challenge. This book is an able teacher for the serious learners and leaders of the field.”

—Esther M. Orioli, author, Essi Systems’ EQ Map”

“Emotional Intelligence in Action is an important contribution to the field of applied emotional intelligence, particularly for its contribution in helping individuals improve their skills so that they can unlock their potential and live at a level more commensurate with their true capability.”

—Rich Handley, coauthor, EQ 360™ and Benchmark of Organizational Emotional Intelligence

“The authors provide a suite of well-designed tools for increasing emotional intelligence and then invite practitioners to apply these to respond to individual development needs. This is a needed addition to the field of emotional intelligence. The gift that these practitioners have given is they have helped to make EQ development a faster and more efficient process for both coaches and clients. Advanced practitioners will find these tools useful for sharpening their practice.”

—Geetu Bharwaney, founder and managing director, Ei World

“Emotional Intelligence in Action is a very practical tool organizations can use to help employees anticipate, understand, and accept change and thrive in a fast-moving business environment.”

—Tad Deering, Sr., director of strategic change, Time Warner Telecom

“Emotional Intelligence in Action is a must read for anyone serious about improving personal and professional relationships, while gaining greater self-knowledge.”

—Richie Fontenot Hunter, vice president of marketing, Anthem Blue Cross and Blue Shield, West Region

“A pioneering book for a cutting edge field! The authors have pulled together thoughtful and useful tactics and strategies for trainers and consultants that will enable audiences to understand and act on EQ concepts. The cross references with numerous resources enables the reader to quickly identify additional material for workshop use.”

—Roger R. Pearman, president, Qualifying.org, Inc.

“Emotional Intelligence in Action delivers whether you are an EI newcomer or a seasoned professional with its refreshing ‘workouts’ and totally engaging approach. EIA passes my test; it is both fun to read and easy to implement. Hughes, Patterson, and Terrell make a significant contribution to EI and more importantly, will help you make a significant contribution to your organization.”

—Scott Cawood, SPHR, vice president, Global Talent Management, Revlon; founder, Modern Think

“Emotional Intelligence in Action is a valuable resource that is loaded with exercises and experiential learning scenarios (‘workouts’) that all of us can profit from as we seek to understand more clearly what moves us and motivates us. More accurate, realistic information, in turn, allows us to reason with emotions and emotional signals. The ability to do that serves as a valuable foundation for creating real change.”

—Wayne Cascio, US Bank Term Professor of Management, University of Colorado

“In all the training and developmental work I have done lately, I have seen repeatedly the importance of interactive experiences. To have tools to help people learn by experience is so valuable and clearly, the best way to promote learning. I am excited to have this excellent handbook to help individuals and teams strengthen their emotional intelligence. ‘Hands On’ is the best!”

—Kathy Yeager, SPHR, vice president, human resources, The Medical Center of Aurora

About This Book

Why is this topic important?

Exploring and developing emotional intelligence not only makes us happier and more successful, but it helps us motivate ourselves, manage stress more effectively, and resolve conflict with others. It gives us the skills to be able to encourage, comfort, discipline, and confront different kinds of people appropriately in different situations. It determines how effectively we express our emotions within the cultural contexts of our family, our workplace, and our community. It determines how well people listen to us and how well we are heard.

What can you achieve with this book?

As an easy-to-use informational reference to the key components of emotional intelligence, this book is unsurpassed. The forty-six cross-referenced exercises serve as an invaluable resource for trainers, coaches, facilitators, HR professionals, managers, and anyone who needs to build emotional intelligence competencies in their work with individuals, teams, or groups.

Several books are available that discuss this topic, but very few provide exercises and learning scenarios to help build emotional intelligence skills. This book breaks new ground in providing a cross-reference matrix that maps the exercises to the four leading emotional intelligence models—the EQ-i® or EQ-360™, ECI 360, the MSCEIT™, and EQ Map®—making it easy to use with all the models.

How is this book organized?

This book is organized into three parts. Part One provides an overview of using emotional intelligence to create real change. It includes sections on why emotional intelligence is important and how to best use this book. It also contains the cross-reference table that maps the exercises to the four leading emotional intelligence models. Last, it discusses the integral connection between thinking and emotions. Part Two gives a synopsis of fifteen components of emotional intelligence. Part Three features forty-six exercises to help build effective emotional skills. Each exercise includes a purpose statement, summary, description of the outcome/ desired results, estimated time, intended audience, skill level needed by facilitator, step-by-step instructions, and reproducible handout sheets for participants.

About Pfeiffer

Pfeiffer serves the professional development and hands-on resource needs of training and human resource practitioners and gives them products to do their jobs better. We deliver proven ideas and solutions from experts in HR development and HR management, and we offer effective and customizable tools to improve workplace performance. From novice to seasoned professional, Pfeiffer is the source you can trust to make yourself and your organization more successful.I.

Essential Knowledge Pfeiffer produces insightful, practical, and comprehensive materials on topics that matter the most to training and HR professionals. Our Essential Knowledge resources translate the expertise of seasoned professionals into practical, howto guidance on critical workplace issues and problems. These resources are supported by case studies, worksheets, and job aids and are frequently supplemented with CD-ROMs, websites, and other means of making the content easier to read, understand, and use.

Essential Tools Pfeiffer’s Essential Tools resources save time and expense by offering proven, ready-to-use materials—including exercises, activities, games, instruments, and assessments—for use during a training or team-learning event. These resources are frequently offered in looseleaf or CD-ROM format to facilitate copying and customization of the material.

Pfeiffer also recognizes the remarkable power of new technologies in expanding the reach and effectiveness of training. While e-hype has often created whizbang solutions in search of a problem, we are dedicated to bringing convenience and enhancements to proven training solutions. All our e-tools comply with rigorous functionality standards. The most appropriate technology wrapped around essential content yields the perfect solution for today’s on-the-go trainers and human resource professionals.

Essential resources for training and HR professionals

This book is dedicated to all those who help others enhance the quality of life by developing deeper, more profound business and personal relationships. Their actions, which add richness, strength, and meaning to life, resonate throughout the world and transform our lives.

Copyright © 2005 by Marcia Hughes, L. Bonita Patterson, and James Bradford Terrell.

Published by Pfeiffer An Imprint of Wiley. 989 Market Street, San Francisco, CA 94103-1741 www.pfeiffer.com

Readers should be aware that Internet websites offered as citations and/or sources for further information may have changed or disappeared between the time this was written and when it is read.

Except as specifically noted below, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, Inc., 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, 978-750-8400, fax [phone], or on the web at www.copyright.com. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, phone [phone], fax [phone], or e-mail: [email protected].

Certain pages from this book and all the materials on the accompanying CD-ROM are designed for use in a group setting and may be customized and reproduced for educational/training purposes. The reproducible pages are designated by the appearance of the following copyright notice at the foot of each page:

Emotional Intellligence in Action. Copyright © 2005 by Marcia Hughes, L. Bonita Patterson, and James Bradford Terrell. Reproduced by permission of Pfeiffer, an Imprint of Wiley. www.pfeiffer.com

This notice may not be changed or deleted and it must appear on all reproductions as printed.

This free permission is restricted to limited customization of the CD-ROM materials for your organization and the paper reproduction of the materials for educational/training events. It does not allow for systematic or large-scale reproduction, distribution (more than 100 copies per page, per year), transmission, electronic reproduction or inclusion in any publications offered for sale or used for commercial purposes—none of which may be done without prior written permission of the Publisher.

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ISBN: 0-7879-7843-4

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Hughes, Marcia M.

Emotional intelligence in action: training and coaching activities for leaders and managers/

Marcia M. Hughes, L. Bonita Patterson, James Bradford Terrell.

p. cm.

Accompanied by a CD-ROM.

Includes bibliographical references and index.

1. Executives—Training of—Handbooks, manuals, etc. 2. Leadership—Study and teaching—Handbooks, manuals, etc. 3. Executive coaching—Handbooks, manuals, etc. 4. Counselors—Training of—Handbooks, manuals, etc. 5. Group facilitation—Handbooks, manuals, etc. 6. Personnel departments—Employees—Training of—Handbooks, manuals, etc. 7. Emotional intelligence—Handbooks, manuals, etc. 8. Active learning—Handbooks, manuals, etc. I. Patterson, L. Bonita II. Terrell, James Bradford III. Title.

HD30.4.H824 2005

658.4’071245—dc22

2005004205

Acquiring Editor: Martin Delahoussaye

Director of Development: Kathleen Dolan Davies

Developmental Editor: Susan Rachmeler

Production Editor: Dawn Kilgore

Editor: Rebecca Taff

Manufacturing Supervisor: Becky Carreno

Editorial Assistant: Laura Reizman

Printing

Foreword

Everyone can profit from enhancing his or her emotional intelligence, because this important construct has a positive impact on human performance, leading to personal effectiveness and eventually to overall well-being.

The activities in this book are designed to be applicable to those who favor any one of the three major approaches to the emotional intelligence construct. The authors have focused on the Bar-On approach in defining and measuring emotional intelligence as the backbone of this book, but the activities are easily applicable to the Salovey-Meyer and Goleman/Boyatzis models as well. In addition, they are also readily applicable to a wide range of EI assessment tools, including Esther Orioli’s EQ Map and other closely related instruments. This wide applicability across the major EI conceptual and psychometric models makes this workbook unique.

This method supports what I have referred to as “the multi-modal approach” in describing, assessing, and enhancing this construct. When this specific approach within emotional intelligence is combined with factoring in the impact of cognitive styles and personality traits, as the authors have uniquely suggested, the ability to assess, predict, and improve human performance is expanded exponentially.

Although the authors have targeted primarily organizational trainers, facilitators, executive coaches, and other closely related practitioners, these activities can be used by a wider range of individuals in a variety of settings. Those who are involved in parenting children at home, educating students at school, or counseling patients in clinical settings can all benefit from this workbook.

Emotional Intelligence in Action is well-written, interesting, and enjoyable to work with. The read is not merely a passive experience, but rather actively engages the reader from beginning to end. The activities and experiential learning scenarios (“workouts”) are easy to understand and fun to do.

This workbook fills an important niche in developing emotional intelligence, representing a genuine contribution to the field. I would like to express my gratitude to Marcia Hughes, Bonita Patterson, and James Terrell for making this important contribution to emotional intelligence. I have thoroughly enjoyed reading the didactic material, experimenting with the activities, and noticing the effect that they have had on me. I highly recommend Emotional Intelligence in Action to all those who are interested in enhancing this vitally critical component of human intelligence and performance.

Reuven Bar-OnNovember 7, 2004

Dr. Reuven Bar-On holds a research position at the University of Texas Medical Branch and is affiliated with the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL) and the Consortium for Research on Emotional Intelligence in Organizations. He is the author of the Bar-On EQi, the co-author of EQi-YV, EQ360, EQ-Interview, and Optimizing People and the co-editor of the Handbook of Emotional Intelligence.

Acknowledgments

The authors wish to acknowledge and thank:

Reuven Bar-On, Peter Salovey, John D. Mayer, David R. Caruso, Daniel Goleman, Richard E. Boyatzis, Esther Orioli, Robert Cooper, Cary Cherniss, and Marilyn K. Gowing, for their pioneering emotional intelligence work, Robert Carkhuff for his substantial contribution to the field of interpersonal communication.

Lois Hart, Ed.D., for guiding us down the publishing path; Elaine Biech for opening the door; Martin Delahoussaye, senior editor at Pfeiffer, for being there to welcome us in and guide us with such good cheer; and Susan Rachmeler, Kathleen Dolan Davies, Laura Reizman, Dawn Kilgore, Jeanenne Ray, and Karen Warner at Pfeiffer, for guiding us with gentle insistence to the quality we most desired to achieve. Our thanks also go to Ken Hultman for valuable input.

Michael Snell, our agent, for creating an excellent interface with our publisher, orchestrating a win-win process, and continuing down the publishing path with us.

Danielle Hughes, Sherrol Horner, and Jake York for their much-needed assistance in editing and document preparation.

All of our parents, families, teachers, mentors, clients, and adversaries, and the grace and pluck that have gotten us each this far along the crazy paths we call our lives.