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If it wasn’t for God teaching me how to believe in myself, even if no-one else ever believe in me. For me to know who I am, What I’am capable of and how to make what I’m capable of come to fruition. It wasn’t easy for me to start believing in myself, I always felt like I needed someone to validate what I was doing. I gave people, places, and things my power. I had to learn what my power even was. I have the Authority Power! The authority to move the enemy out of my way. I needed to learn how to use that All Mighty Power
Empower Yourself to live Better Within Yourself - You Are Enough! - people, places, and things can and will make you feel you’re not enough. Sometimes if not most, it’s your own family that makes you feel like you’re not enough, and we take what our family put in us and go out into the world with how they have believe that we are, or something they said and we’re carrying it with us because we don’t know how to release that pain without it in an angry form.Our families create something in us they can’t stand to be around - meaning: they really can’t stand themselves. THINK ABOUT THAT FOR A MINUTE.
People talk what they don’t know, and won’t stand in their own truth to save their own life. When you know the truth, don’t run get all understanding of that truth so you can be free of that situation.
Empower Yourself To Be Free!
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Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2023
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Latrice Gaddy
Empowerment of Self Worth
All rights reserved
Copyright © 2023 by Latrice Gaddy
No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
Published by BooxAi
ISBN: 978-965-578-172-4
Empowerment of Self Worth
Latrice Gaddy
Contents
Welcome To My Truth About My Self-Worthiness and the Lack of Knowing It
EMPOWERMENT OF SELF WORTH
AND THIS IS WHERE IT ALL STARTED
EMPOWERMENT OF SELF-WORTH!
BEING LOST
BEING ILLITERATE
BEING A MILITARY WIFE
BEING ALONE
BEING ABUSED
BEING MENTALLY CAPTIVE
BEING NAÏVE
BEING ON AN EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER
LIVING INSIDE OF MY OWN EMBARRASSMENT
CHANGING THE WAY YOU THINK
COMMUNICATION
ENDING
Welcome To My Truth About My Self-Worthiness and the Lack of Knowing It
My name is Latrice and I lived in unworthiness for over half of my life. I’ve been abused, abandoned, neglected, etc. I had to learn about my worthiness before I could live in it. I had to understand where it fell apart from the beginning until the present day. Authoring this book helps others that are going through or have been through the same trauma that I’ve experienced and remain stuck mentally. I want to help free them from that bondage.
EMPOWERMENT OF SELF WORTH
This is where my self-worthiness starts, stops, and comes back to stay!
I want to give honor to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, my Pastor, Apostle Robert Parmalee, my Husband, my children, and my grandchildren. Thank you Lord; for giving me this opportunity to share my life with someone other than myself. You are so AMAZING! You make my life so much better; I can’t imagine not having you in my life, so many people have left me or just don’t rock with me, but you never left my side. I’ve never felt love the way I love you. I want to know more about you! It makes me even happier when I can dive into your world and be there for a while WOW! What a feeling it is to be able to be in your presence. I just wanted to let you know once again what and who you are to me; THANK YOU, FATHER, GOD!!!
I didn’t know about my worthiness for half of my life. I ran away from my family when I got old enough to do so but just because I was old enough doesn’t mean I was ready. I was raised with a bunch of alcoholics and drug addicts. I was taught to signify with other family members, to talk about family members behind their backs and to make fun of the “Bible totters” (and now I’m one)! I was taught to fight my family members, that it’s ok to help outsiders before you help your own people, to neglect, to be abusive and the list goes on. I was taught all these things before I left my foundation of growth. WOW! I was surely on my way to self-destruction. Going out into the real world with these kinds of tools was a definite set up for failure. I knew nothing about what I was worth and all the tools that were given to me made me find my worthiness that much harder. When you leave your foundation, you should have some sense of your self-worthiness, if not all of it. It begins at home: you should learn how to be kind, and loving even when it’s hard; have some self-control about yourself, and never let someone else take your worthiness away from you. You are important to yourself and if you have breath in you that means you are important to God! And that’s what you should have your focus on. When you know and understand your worth, you don’t allow anything in your life. I’m worthy of being listened to, of a gentle touch, of a conversation and of RESPECT. I’m worthy in all areas of my life.
Tell yourself this daily and believe it!
Let me tell you about my destructive way of living before I started to understand how worthy I am. When I was younger in grade school I struggled with my reading. I always had to go to a separate class with some other students because we were at a lower level than the rest of the class. Students would always make jokes or just laugh at us, which made us defensive and incredibly angry, shy, closed-off and so alone. I use to fight all the time in grade school; I got that from my family. We fought in the home as well as outside. It was mostly women in the family and no real men were there to protect us or lead us in any positive way of living. In high school my English teacher would call on me to read out loud and I would get so mad at him. It’s like he knew I couldn’t read on a level of the grade I was in. I would get nervous, my whole body would shake and shiver, my words would shake as I would try to get them out of my mouth. I was a first-year student because Lord knows I couldn’t get any further with that type of embarrassment. That was the final decision about High School for me at that moment. I played the “I’m sick” role for a while until I realized I didn’t have to. My grandmother would mention something about me going to school but it wasn’t a big deal. I worked at the airport as a security guard on check point, making $3.75 an hour (back then that was a lot of money to be making). Man, I thought I was doing ok until my mother and step dad started asking for the money I was making. I had to pay some bills; which wouldn’t have been a problem if it had been explained how I was getting prepared for the real world. Nothing was really explained, it was more “Do what I say and don’t ask me no damn questions' . I inflicted this same dysfunction onto my children; unbeknownst to their way of living and if I could take it back I would. I remember that my little sister said to me after I had my son: “Why don’t you buy yourself some shoes worth having?” You deserve to get yourself nice quality things.” I was still shopping at Payless at the time, because that’s all I was taught to buy. Once my youngest sister said that to me; I started to think “she makes a lot of sense” but no matter how much sense she was making, I didn’t see or feel what she was saying to me until some time later and started to do things a little different for myself. Having low self-esteem was taking over and living from the inside out of my body. I used to be so ashamed to engage in a conversation or any type of setting that had anything to do with reading because it would make me look and feel foolish to not know. I was drowning and I had to figure out how to swim, I wanted this feeling to be over and I was only at the forefront of the beginning of it all. I hid underneath my embarrassment because of what I didn’t know, too ashamed to ask for help. You feel that when your family lets you down everyone will let you down until it’s proven otherwise. I taught myself many things over the years and the one thing that’ll always stick with me is that you should love yourself before you try loving anyone else… I’ve enrolled myself in many different programs trying to get my GED and every one of them was an epic failure. I’ve been in more relationships than I want to talk about. I was chasing a fantasy without knowing what kind of fantasy I was chasing. I was looking for love and didn’t understand the coordination of love, being in love, being loved or just being in a committed relationship. How was I supposed to make it/this work when I knew nothing about it? Man; I was on a road leading me right back to where it all started, not realizing what lies ahead of me, no warning, with my eyes wide open!
When People Show You Who They Are, You Better Believe Them; That First Time Right In That Moment…
They don’t change no matter how much you see some good in them. See them for who they present themselves to be!
I met my children’s father and when I tell you I ran right into the DANGER ZONE! That’s exactly what I mean. That man flipped my world all the way around and around and around again. I wasn’t ready for the games he had in mind to play on me, I was a player without my own acknowledgment of the game (this is another story to tell)! I can and will tell you I loved this man more than I ever loved myself at that time; which was and is ALWAYS the wrong thing to do. I lost myself and even more, I lost my self-worth being in such a relationship/marriage. I learned later, almost towards the end of the marriage, that he and his friends and some family members had a bet about who would get me first if at all. WOW! Imagine learning that you were nothing but a freaking bet on someone you loved more than you loved yourself. When I tell you it’s very important for you to do your work; learn how to fall in love with yourself after you fall in love with Jesus! It’s Very Important… This relationship/marriage could have taken me out, but God picks his toughest soldiers for his hardest tasks. Thank you Lord for holding my hand through the worst part of my life! I’m nothing without you! Thank You Jesus.
