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A handbook that addresses the moral failures and corruption of political and corporate officials, this reference suggests that, regardless of how morally strong a leader, all face seven core risks, but by identifying and learning to recognize each risk, leaders can stop creating misery for themselves and the people who rely on them emotionally and financially and deliver the sustainable success people count on them for. Following the story of “Rob,” this story begins with the demise of a fallen hero—revisiting the choices Rob made as he first took a leadership role and began growing in stature and power. At every step in Rob’s ascent, the author demonstrates how each of the seven fatal risk factors build upon one another, creating an inevitable downward spiral. The author then offers practical ways to avoid Rob’s fate with the marshalling of diagnostic tools, questions, and quizzes as well as big-picture solutions and practical tasks that aim to reinforce leadership abilities, retain confidence, and earn and keep the trust of others.
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The Enemies of Excellence
Enemy One: Egotism.
“I know best.”
Enemy Two: Life Mismanagement.
“I’ll get to it later.”
Enemy Three: Bad Habits.
“What harm could it do?”
Enemy Four: Indulgence.
“I deserve it.”
Enemy Five: Broken Relationships.
“Why don’t they just understand me?”
Enemy Six: Isolation.
“I can do it on my own.”
Enemy Seven: Self-sabotage.
“It’s not my fault.”
I received The Enemies of Excellence as a gift from a good friend and was deeply impacted by the message.
My awareness in critical areas of my life expanded immediately and this awareness led to adjustments in my thinking and actions at home and at work.
As a result, when Cutco began a new leadership development initiative this past year, we decided that every one of our people would benefit to receive the book and follow up training as an integral part of the curriculum.
The feedback from our people has been tremendous. Utilizing The Enemies of Excellence as a gift to our leadership core helped deliver the message that we care about them in a way that goes far beyond their sales results.
John Kane, Director of Sales Development, Vector Marketing
Greg Salciccioli has hit this one out of the park! The Enemies of Excellence is a practical and powerful compilation of life lessons. This book was selected to be the main text for the spiritual leadership course at the Executive Leadership Institute. Every chapter challenged and inspired the students to raise the bar and to create a balanced approach to life that will ensure long-term success. Many of the students indicated that the book would be a staple in their library and one that they would read over and over again. The Enemies of Excellence is written in such a way that it can be utilized in various settings including in educational settings, in small groups, as a sermon series, and as a personal devotion. Without question, it is a blueprint that will assist the reader to create and live an abundant life!
Tony Soldano, Dean, Executive Leadership Institute, Canada Christian College
Greg is a mentor, coach, and trusted friend. His book, The Enemies of Excellence, was put in my hands at a critical and challenging point in my leadership journey. The guidance the book provided gave me and my team clear direction for shaping sustainable and successful outcomes in spiritual, mental, physical and relational health. If you’re leading in any capacity, read and re-read this book often!
Steve Robinson, Pastor, Church of the King
Coach Greg has been a huge help for me both personally and professionally. The practical wisdom and clear plan he outlines in The Enemies of Excellence has been a valuable resource in our ongoing development of leaders at Milestone Church. I highly recommend it!
Jeff Little, Lead Pastor, Milestone Church
I was introduced to Greg Salciccioli and The Enemies of Excellence after working in my profession and running a small business for thirty-one years. I never felt like I could get the business or myself operating the way I knew we could. I wasn’t aware of how I had been sabotaging my business and myself until I read the book and subsequently started receiving coaching from Greg. Now I have a plan I can work with, combining health, personal, business, emotional, and spiritual growth. I have changed the way we operate, and everyone involved is reaping the benefits, especially me! I still keep “the enemies” close at hand to remind me . . . I recommend the book for business owners and managers, and for anyone that works with people.
Larry S. Stokes, PhD, Stokes & Associates Inc.
Many teach leadership, only (Greg) Salciccioli provides the foundational steps of how to thrive as a leader in The Enemies of Excellence—a compelling allegory by one of the world’s best leadership coaches.
Hassan A. Tetteh, MD, Heart Surgeon and Author of Gifts of the Heart
Revised and Updated Edition
the enemies of excellence
7 reasons why we sabotage success
GREG SALCICCIOLI
The Crossroad Publishing Companywww.CrossroadPublishing.com
© 2011 by Greg Salciccioli. Foreword © 2011 by Patrick Lencioni. © 2014 Revised and Updated Edition
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written permission of The Crossroad Publishing Company.
The stylized crossed letter C logo is a registered trademark of The Crossroad Publishing Company. All interior grayscale art was designed for the book by Nate Salciccioli.
In continuation of our 200-year tradition of independent publishing, The Crossroad Publishing Company proudly offers a variety of books with strong, original voices and diverse perspectives. The viewpoints expressed in our books are not necessarily those of The Crossroad Publishing Company, any of its imprints or of its employees. No claims are made or responsibility assumed for any health or other benefit.
Project Management byJohn Jones
Message development, text development, package, and market positioning by The Crossroad Publishing Company
Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available from the Library of Congress
Books published by The Crossroad Publishing Company may be purchased at special quantity discount rates for classes and institutional use. For information, please e-mail [email protected]
ISBN 13: 978-0-8245-2626-9EPUB ISBN: 978-0-8245-2168-4MOBI ISBN: 978-0-8245-2169-1
14 13 12 11
Table of Contents
Acknowledgments
Foreword by Patrick Lencioni
1 Don’t Play with Matches!
2 Why We Sabotage Our Success
3 The Enemy of Egotism
4 The Enemy of Life Mismanagement
5 The Enemy of Bad Habits
6 The Enemy of Indulgence
7 The Enemy of Broken Relationships
8 The Enemy of Isolation
9 The Enemy of Self-Sabotage
10 Experiencing Excellence
Next Steps
Notes
About the Author
Acknowledgments
This book is the result of a team effort. Many extraordinary people have contributed to not only the writing of this resource but my education and experience. I would like to acknowledge these incredibly gifted people.
First, I want to thank Matthew Kelly for his friendship, encouragement, and introduction to the Crossroad Publishing team: from Gwendolin Herder, the gracious CEO of Crossroad who believed in me and this book, to Dr. John Jones, the Editorial Director who provided sage advice and expert editing. Without John, The Enemies of Excellence would never have reached its full potential and become the valuable resource it is today. He is a gifted writer and has become a good friend. Patrick Lencioni and the Table Group team are experts in the field of leadership and management. I greatly appreciate their friendship, encouragement, and excellent guidance. Their contributions brought clarity and depth to this resource. A special thanks to my research assistant Lauren Ruef for investing countless hours in building the book’s foundation, as well as Dan and Fran Berrey for helping fund the project. And the leaders I have had the honor of coaching and consulting in the last decade. Your passion to pursue excellence is a constant encouragement in my life.
I want to thank Dianna, my best friend and bride as well as my amazing family, for your constant support. Each of you brings tremendous joy to my life, and I am very thankful for each of you.
Finally I give thanks to God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit for all that I am.
Foreword by Patrick Lencioni
Whenever a high profile leader or personality falls from grace— because of drugs, alcohol, infidelity, financial mismanagement or another similar malady—it’s not easy to find sympathy among the general public. After all, these are famous, wealthy people we’re talking about, and they seem to bring on their own misery through the decisions they make. If anything, people take delight in seeing them learn painful lessons in humility.
Of course, this callousness toward high profile misery is misguided for a whole host of reasons, the most obvious of which is the collateral suffering that is inevitably mixed in with the carnage. Innocent spouses, children, friends, and employees are affected in profound ways, and even shareholders, customers, and fans can experience very real suffering as a result of a leader’s destruction.
Well, as it turns out, there is another reason to feel bad when leaders set fire to their careers and their lives—those leaders are probably victims of an insidiously destructive and predictable pattern of behavior that plagues even some of the most well-intentioned people. According to Greg Salciccioli, and his theory makes a lot of sense, there is something inherent in being a person of influence that creates a likelihood of pain and self-destruction.
Greg has seen this first-hand, again and again. As a coach to leaders, he’s come to recognize the signs of impending tragedy, and the dangerous tendencies which propel a leader unknowingly toward despair and misery beyond their comprehension.
This book is a wake-up call for all people who find themselves in positions of leadership and influence, and who want to preserve their families, their organizations, their self-respect, and their peace of heart and mind. The tragedy that can be avoided by heeding the advice here, and the joy that can be experienced through authentic, humble leadership, makes this a treasure.
—Patrick Lencioni, president, The Table Group; author, The Five Dysfunctions of a Team
Chapter One
Don’t Play with Matches!
“Don’t play with matches! You could hurt yourself and burn down the house.” Sounds like good advice, but to a 10-year-old boy it doesn’t mean much. He’s thinking: “I got it, Mom and Dad. I can handle this. Nothing bad is going to happen to me.” I wish that was true.
It was the summer of 1970, and instead of playing in the sprinklers with my buddies, I found myself in the backyard doing my chore, picking up piles of weeds. Begrudgingly, I bagged the weeds and hauled them to the front sidewalk for trash day pick-up.
It’s said that necessity is the mother of invention, and in my need to play with my friends as soon as possible, I had struck upon a brilliant idea. I could burn up the weeds, one pile at a time, and my chore would be completed much faster. With this notion in my mind, I snuck into the garage and grabbed a box of matches, returning to my boring task with a renewed sense of excitement. I began with great enthusiasm, arranging a small pile of weeds, striking a match and watching the pile burn. It worked great. Then I realized that if I increased the size of the piles, the task would get done much faster!
You can guess what happened next. I made an extra-large pile of dry weeds in the center of the yard, stood back, and threw a match onto the pile. At first the flame was so small I could barely see it, but then it grew into a raging ball of fire. They flames grew so large that the pile began to ignite the other piles close to it, and soon the entire backyard was up in flames. The rubber on the soles of my shoes was melting as I frantically stomped on the consuming fire while trying to douse the weeds with a garden hose. As hard as I tried, though, it was futile—the flames continued to advance at an alarming rate.
I will never forget the image of my poor mother screaming and waving her hands in the air as she looked through the window at her backyard engulfed in flames.
Fortunately, mom called for help. I could hear the sirens, then see the men rushing to save me from my futile fire-fight. The firemen pulled up in front of our house, stretched their fire hoses into the backyard, and put out the fire before it spread to our house and the neighbors’ houses. I was escorted onto the street by a particularly stern fireman and commanded to stay inside the fire engine until things were under control.
That night as I rubbed my backside, still sore from a well-deserved spanking, I reflected on how quickly the situation got out of control. I was amazed at how fast my good intentions turned into a raging fire. Despite my parents’ warnings, I really thought I could manage the fire, when in reality I was playing with a force much more powerful and destructive than I knew.
Fortunately, except for some ruined sneakers, nothing serious happened that day, but sometimes in life the house really does catch fire and burn to the ground.
A Firestorm in the Front Room
Rob was an exceptional leader who had everything going for him. He was smart, an amazing communicator and motivator. In a short amount of time, he had built a successful organization. People loved to follow him. So did I.
I will never forget the day he called for help.
The call came early and shattered the silence. I did my best to ignore the obnoxious ringing, but it just wouldn’t work. I wrestled myself out of bed and made the long walk to the phone in the kitchen. At that moment I just wanted to be in that place of retreat and restoration. I wanted my sleep!
I answered the phone. Rob had never called me before at such an early hour, and his voice was troubled.
“Greg, I need your help. Can you please come to my house?” It was less of a question than a statement.
“Rob, what’s wrong?”
“I’ll explain when you get here—it’s too hard to explain over the phone.”
“Give me 30 minutes.”
I jumped in the shower to wake up and take a few minutes to sort out the many thoughts that were filling my mind. I had known Rob for more than a decade and mentored him in his life and leadership. I hired him to work with me in a former organization. He was a friend I respected and cared deeply for. He was a gifted leader with amazing potential, a highly driven individual with endless energy. But there were problems. I knew that he tended to work too many hours. As I flashed back to recent conversations, I recalled seeing turmoil and anxiety in his heart. He’d been unfocused and excessively emotional. He looked like he could melt down at any moment. His wife didn’t support his overworked and under-nourished lifestyle, and this produced a steady stream of stress and tension in their home life. Was Rob’s wife concerned for his work-induced weariness? Could this be the problem?
No, it must be something different. Rob was also known as a maverick, someone who did not like to follow rules and avoided close accountability. He always seemed to be pushing the limits and liked the fact that he could counter conventional leadership methods and manipulate situations to control their outcomes. He’d been warned that he was going too far, but every warning only seemed to make him bolder. Had he made a rash leadership move that created a mess? Or was it something else?
As I dressed and prepared to leave, I hoped it was not a serious problem, but I felt a growing sense of concern and anxiety as my bride caught my eyes on my way out the door. We both knew there was trouble. How could we help?
I pulled onto Rob’s street and parked to sit in silence. I needed to pray and prepare for the worst. I didn’t know what I would learn, but I could tell it would be tragic. It needed great wisdom, care, and a proper course of action. I had worked with great leaders who had fallen. It was always the same familiar patterns and the same predictably tragic ending. They played with matches one too many times. But not this time. Lord, no, please. Not this time.
As I approached the driveway, I wondered what fires Rob had been playing with that I didn’t even know about. What heart issues, decisions, and actions collided to create this crisis? Who was involved and what would this mean to Rob, his family, friends, associates, and to his role as a leader?
Even though I’d done my best to gather my thoughts in the short time I had, nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to witness. Some events in life defy understanding and description. This was one. As I reached the front door, the quiet of the morning was upset by screaming and weeping. Behind that door a tragic event was unfolding. A life was coming undone—maybe more than one.
Rob opened the door and looked like he had been on a battlefield. A trail of fingernail scratches covered his face. His eyes showed horror, confusion, fatigue, and fear. Before I could respond, he motioned to the family room, where the sound of agonized weeping came from.
