Goal-Free Living E-Book

Stephen M. Shapiro

• Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
• Kategorie: Fachliteratur
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2010

Seitenzahl: 276

Beschreibung

Praise for Goal Free Living Setting goals may be fine. But letting your goals take control of your life can be devastating. Goal-Free Living shows you how to explore paths in your life you never knew existed and discover a more exciting, successful, and rewarding life--today! "If you have only one goal this year, let it be this: Read Goal-Free Living!" --Daniel H. Pink author, A Whole New Mind and Free Agent Nation "Stephen Shapiro's approach will help readers achieve the best kind of happenstance: taking a stance to make things happen." --Heath Row Contributing Editor and Community Director, Fast Company magazine "I have a sense that reading this book may turn out to be one of the most important things I've done in a long time." --Doug Busch Vice President and Chief Technology Officer, Digital Health Group, Intel Corporation "This is an engaging, creative approach to discovering inner wisdom and personal fulfillment." --Michael J. Gelb author, How to Think Like Leonardo da Vinci and Discover Your Genius "Reading Goal-Free Living is like jettisoning a hundred-pound pack. Suddenly, you're racing much faster and enjoying the breeze." --Alan Weiss, PhD author, Million Dollar Consulting

Leseprobe

Table of Contents

Praise

Title Page

Copyright Page

DID YOU KNOW THAT. . .

Acknowledgments

PROLOGUE:

The Genesis of This Book

Getting Started in Goal-Free Living

INTRODUCTION - Setting the Stage for Goal-Free Living

The Future as Context

Aspirations and Goals

The Power of Goals and Aspirations

Goal-Free versus Goal-Focused

Is This Book a Goal?

What Does Goal-Free Living Feel Like?

The Eight Secrets for Goal-Free Living

How to Read This Book

The Eight Secrets of Goal-Free Living

SECRET #1 - Use a Compass, Not a Map

Find Your Compass Setting

Try New Things

Set Themes, Not Resolutions

Create Many Paths

Sense Your Direction and Believe in It

Making It Happen

SECRET #2 - Trust That You Are Never Lost

Avoid Decision Avoidance

Commit to Your Happiness

The Safe Way Is the Unsafe Way

What You Focus On Expands

Listen to a Silent Mind

All Paths Are Equal, but Some Paths Are More Equal Than Others

Making It Happen

SECRET #3 - Remember That Opportunity Knocks Often, but Sometimes Softly

Before You Open the Door, Look Inside

If There Is Trash Outside, Turn It to Treasure

Turn Outrage to Opportunity

Find Opportunity in Tragedy

Create Deliberate Accidents

Stay Connected by Disconnecting

Making It Happen

SECRET #4 - Want What You Have

Measure Life by Your Own Yardstick

Appreciate, Regardless of the Circumstances

Appreciate Yourself

Appreciate the Whole Spectrum

Being True to Yourself with $187 in the Bank

Making It Happen

SECRET #5 - Seek Out Adventure

Reconnect with Your Childhood

Change Your Filter, Change Your Perspective

Be an Adventurer

Seek Adventure... without a Safety Net

Making It Happen

SECRET #6 - Become a People Magnet

Communicate Your Aspiration

Assume Everyone Can Help You Fulfill Your Aspiration

Start a Random Conversation

Find Something Interesting about Someone Else

Make Lasting Connections

Making It Happen

SECRET #7 - Embrace Your Limits

Uncover Your Inadequacies

Bare Your Inadequacies to the World

Make the Most of Your Inadequacies

Turn a Bad Performance into a Source of Power

Failure Leads to Success

Put Your Best Face Forward... Regardless of What It Looks Like

Making It Happen

SECRET #8 - Remain Detached

Detachment is a Mindset

The Difficulty of Detachment

The Scarcity Fallacy

Focus of the Mind

Attach to the Present Moment

Let Go of the Outcome

Attach to the Service of Others

Become the Flow

Focus on Living

Making It Happen

Using the Eight Secrets

Setting Your Compass

Setting Sail

EPILOGUE

Appendixes

INDEX

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Praise for Goal-Free Living

“Stephen Shapiro has written a smart, practical, and inspiring guide to leading a life of purpose and meaning. If you have only one goal this year, let it be this: read Goal-Free Living!”

—Daniel H. Pink, Author of A Whole New Mind and Free Agent Nation

“Stephen Shapiro’s Goal-Free Living isn’t a call for laziness, passivity, or risk mongering. Instead, his approach will help readers achieve the best kind of happenstance; taking a stance to make things happen.”

—Heath Row, Contributing Editor and Community Director, Fast Company Magazine

“Stephen Shapiro shows how individuals can find more joy in life while still making important contributions to society and the people around them. The insights in Goal-Free Living will be valuable to anyone who feels consumed or constrained by their own goals. I have a sense reading this book may turn out to be one of the most important things I’ve done in a long time.”

—Doug Busch, Vice President and Chief Technology Officer, Digital Health Group, Intel Corporation

“In this insightful, charming book Stephen Shapiro guides you to reframe the way you think about goals. This is an engaging, creative approach to discovering inner wisdom and personal fulfillment.”

—Michael J. Gelb, Author of How to Think Like Leonardo Da Vinci and Discover Your Genius

“Reading Goal-Free Living is like jettisoning a hundred-pound pack. Suddenly, you’re racing much faster and enjoying the breeze.”

—Alan Weiss, Ph.D., Author of Million Dollar Consulting

“Steve is brilliantly insightful. He knows (and this book proves) that it is the pursuit of what you love, not the achievement of your goals, that will give you a joyful and passionate life.”

—Marcia Wieder, America’s Dream Coach®, Author of Making Your Dreams Come True

“Stephen Shapiro powerfully shows that true success is not determined by the goals we achieve, but rather by the life we live. Goal-Free Living is YOUR guide for having the life you want NOW!”

—Marshall Goldsmith, Author (or co-editor) of 19 books, including The Leader of the Future (recognized in the Wall Street Journal as one of the top 10 executive educators)

“Despite the paradoxical title, the book’s thesis and purpose are straightforward. Although creativity cannot be forced, one must be prepared for it. Shapiro shows how being goal-free can be a catalyst for personal growth, achievement, and satisfaction.”

—Al Gini, Professor of Philosophy at Loyola University Chicago, Author of The Importance of Being Lazy and My Job My Self

“If you’ve ever imagined living a completely different life, this book will inspire you to take a step toward a more exciting future. Trying just one of the eight secrets will result in a dramatic and positive shift in your perspective.”

—Alan Price, Author of Ready to Lead

Copyright © 2006 by Stephen M. Shapiro. All rights reserved.

Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey. Published simultaneously in Canada.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, Inc., 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, [phone], fax [phone], or on the web at www.copyright.com. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, [phone], fax [phone], or online at http://www.wiley.com/go/permissions.

Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional where appropriate. Neither the publisher nor author shall be liable for any loss of profit or other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages.

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data:

Shapiro, Stephen, 1964-

Goal-free living : how to have the life you want now! / Stephen Shapiro.

p. cm.

ISBN-13: 978-0-471-77280-4 (cloth) ISBN-10: 0-471-77280-1 (cloth)

1. Lifestyles. 2. Quality of life. 3. Life skills. I. Title.

HQ2042.S53 2006

646.7—dc22

2005021405

DID YOU KNOW THAT. . .

• 41 percent of Americans say that achieving their goals has not made them happier and has only left them disillusioned? That is over 100 million people.

• 33 percent of Americans have lost sleep over their goals? That’s one out of every three Americans.

• Nearly one out of five Americans (18 percent) have wrecked a friendship, marriage, or relationship because of a goal they were trying to achieve? These people are three times as likely to be unhappy as people who were not such extreme goalaholics.

• 27 percent of Americans—one in four—say that achieving their financial goals has not made them happier? Even some of the wealthiest individuals say this.

• 29 percent of Americans say they think they might have chosen the wrong goals in life?

• One out of seven, 13 percent of this country, has been so obsessed with achieving a goal that at one point in their lives they broke the law or did something unethical? And those are only the ones who admit it.

• 36 percent of Americans say that the more goals they set for themselves, the more stressed out they become, while 52 percent say that one of their goals is to reduce the amount of stress in their lives? This is incredibly ironic.

• Only 8 percent of Americans always achieve their New Year’s resolutions? 92 percent fail!

• 31 percent of Americans say that they are currently goal-free? Do they know something that you don’t?

Our achievement-oriented society has hijacked our happiness. Fight back. Now is the time to take control and free yourself from the stranglehold of goals that grips so many people.

Based on a random telephone survey conducted by Goalfree.com, with the assistance of Opinion Research Corporation of Princeton, New Jersey. The survey of 1,012 individuals has a margin of error of 3 percent and was conducted during the period August 5 to August 8, 2005.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

A book about extraordinary living could not exist without the contributions of a large number of extraordinary people. I am honored to have met and worked with so many such individuals over the past few years on this effort.

Goal-Free Living was born out of my travels during the summer of 2003 when I met and interviewed 150 passionate individuals. The chronicles of their lives provide the richness and texture of this book. Thank you for sharing your most personal stories with a complete stranger.

Given that I applied a goal-free approach to my writing, it is not surprising that the earliest versions of the manuscript were a bit disorganized. It is for that reason that I am truly indebted to the hard work of Ela Aktay Booty, who worked tirelessly to fine-tune the manuscript with the precision of a surgeon. Special thanks also to Michael Johnson, who was involved from a strategic perspective from the very beginning.

I am grateful for the many reviewers who provided inspiration, content, and brutally honest feedback—Ron Anderson, Susan Baird, Jason Bates, Jennifer Buchholz, Michael Herman, Brad Kolar, David Macintosh, Don Mitchell, Georgiana Philips, Lisa Rosenthal, Margarita Rozenfeld, Steve Stanton, Doug Stevenson, Don Ulibarri, and Shannon Vargo.

Many thanks to all of the great people at John Wiley & Sons, Inc., in particular Matt Holt. Without Matt’s support of this countercultural concept, this book might never have seen the light of day.

It has been an honor to be working with one of the best literary agents, Ned Levitt. His balance of steadfast support with probing challenge helped nurture this book’s development.

I am blessed to have an incredible and loving family. My sister, Deborah, has been a source of inspiration. Our almost daily phone conversations and e-mail exchanges provided an endless supply of content, were an invaluable sounding board, and kept me sane. Gary, thank you for “lending” her to me.

Finally, words cannot express my gratitude for the contribution my parents have made. Thank you for providing the foundation that enabled my incredible and miraculous life.

PROLOGUE:

CONFESSIONS OF A GOALAHOLIC

My story starts June 1986 in Ithaca, New York. It was a time of possibility and new beginnings. I had graduated from Cornell University with a degree in Industrial Engineering and started a career with one of the top consulting firms in the world. At that time I was also dating a great woman, Beth Anne. On August 31st of the same year we were married at a small bed-and-breakfast in Massachusetts. Passion ignited my marriage; goals would kill it.