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Louise Mahler

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Boost your confidence and transform your speaking skills with wisdom from the ancients

What does the word ‘gravitas’ mean today? In the world of ancient Rome, it was the manner of trust and respect cultivated by capable, strong leadership. In Gravitas: Timeless Skills to Communicate with Confidence and Build Trust, communications expert Louise Mahler shows how this ancient virtue can help you rethink modern communication and transform your presence and impact as a leader today. Gravitas unpacks the essential speaking skills, strategies and techniques that great leaders use to communicate effectively.

This book reveals the ways and means that were essential two thousand years ago and remain essential today. You’ll learn how to better connect with your audience and persuade them to trust in you and your ideas. From the wisdom of ancient leaders such as Cicero and Quintilian, you’ll discover powerful frameworks for mindset and the critical skills of delivery. Harness your posture, your eyes, your voice, your gestures and even your breathing for maximum impact, whether you’re in a one-on-one meeting or engaging a large crowd.

  • Beat imposter syndrome: build your confidence as a public speaker
  • Prove yourself as a capable leader with a strong presence
  • Learn how to gain the trust of your team and clients
  • Give standout presentations and speak confidently in any business situation, including meetings, sales pitches, proposals, boardrooms, town halls, conferences, and even in the media
  • Learn how gravitas works for women and how to harness it for exceptional communicating as a female leader


It’s time to rediscover our lost skills and revitalise the art of communication. The ancient Romans brought their people together and conquered the known world. With Gravitas, you’ll draw on their wisdom and skills to conquer doubt and uncertainty. By cultivating your own gravitas, you’ll be able to build trust effectively — and communicate any message clearly and with confidence.

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Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2024

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Table of Contents

COVER

TABLE OF CONTENTS

TITLE PAGE

COPYRIGHT

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

PREFACE:

How Opera Taught Me the Key to Gravitas

The Lessons of Opera

A Niche

INTRODUCTION

Communication and Confidence

Learnings from the Ancients

A Different Lens

How to Use This Book

Is This Book for You?

Chapter 1: Gravitas

Oratory, Gravitas and Rhetoric

Understanding Oratory

Understanding Rhetoric

Understanding Gravitas

Summary

Chapter 2: Rethinking the Model of Communication

Aristotle's Model of Communication

The Two-Way Communication of Rome

How We See Communication Today

A New Model of Communication: Reshaping the Model for Achieving Gravitas

Summary

Chapter 3: The Language of the Body

The Body in Ancient Greece and Rome

From Ancient to Modern

Learning Gravitas

Summary

Chapter 4: Gestures

Gestures in Ancient Greece and Rome

Gestures Today

Modern Use of Gestures

Summary

Chapter 5: Voice

The Romans and Voice

Voice Today

Contemporary Vocal Models

Reshaping the Paradigms and Models around Voice

Summary

Chapter 6: Can Women Have Gravitas?

The Romans and Gravitas for Women

Ingredients of Delivery

The Future of Leadership Is Women

Summary

Chapter 7: A Modern World

Invention

Arrangement

Memory

Style

Non-discursive Rhetoric

Summary

CONCLUSION

The New Ways for Gravitas

Returning to Ancient Wisdom

REFERENCES

Preface

Introduction

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Conclusion

END USER LICENSE AGREEMENT

Guide

Cover

Table of Contents

Title Page

Copyright

Acknowledgements

Preface: How Opera Taught Me the Key to Gravitas

Introduction

Begin Reading

Conclusion

References

End User License Agreement

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First published in 2024 by John Wiley & Sons Australia, LtdLevel 4, 600 Bourke St, Melbourne, Victoria 3000, Australia

© John Wiley & Sons Australia, Ltd 2024

The moral rights of the author have been asserted

ISBN: 978-1-394-23733-3

All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the Australian Copyright Act 1968 (for example, a fair dealing for the purposes of study, research, criticism or review), no part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, communicated or transmitted in any form or by any means without prior written permission. All inquiries should be made to the publisher at the address above.

Cover design by WileyCover Image: © ssstocker/Adobe Stock PhotosP55: Photo of ‘adlocutio’ pose: © Erin Babnik / Alamy Stock Photo. P88-93: Illustrations: Aldrete, Gregory S. Gestures and Acclamations in Ancient Rome pp. 8, 10–13, 16, 18–20, 37–38, Figures 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 9, 10, 11, 13, 15 © 1999 Johns Hopkins University Press. Reprinted with permission of The Johns Hopkins University Press. P102: Photo of gestures of Adolf Hitler: © Chronicle / Alamy Stock Photo. P108: Photo of ‘greeting’ gesture: © crisfotolux / Adobe Stock. P108: Photo of gesture of Donald Trump: © Richard Ellis / Alamy Stock Photo.

Disclaimer

The material in this publication is of the nature of general comment only, and does not represent professional advice. It is not intended to provide specific guidance for particular circumstances and it should not be relied on as the basis for any decision to take action or not take action on any matter which it covers. Readers should obtain professional advice where appropriate, before making any such decision. To the maximum extent permitted by law, the author and publisher disclaim all responsibility and liability to any person, arising directly or indirectly from any person taking or not taking action based on the information in this publication.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

My long-deceased mother was obsessed with ancient Greece and ancient Rome. In fact, she was so interested that in her sixties, she went back and did a degree in ancient history, travelled extensively in Greece and Rome, and collected an astounding library. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I turned a blind eye.

Isn't that life? Sometimes it is right in front of you and you miss it (which is the point of this book!). So I'd like to take this opportunity to rectify the situation and say thank you to my mother for sharing the enthusiasm that eventually penetrated every bone in my body with fascination when the context of that work related to the area of gravitas (as opposed to my mother's passion for the visual). So, firstly I acknowledge my mother for her passion and perseverance.

Next, during my time singing, I came in contact with people who were incredibly important to me, with whom I worked and who helped mould my thinking about discipline, humour, the importance of the body and the art of singing, including Dame Elisabeth Schwarzkopf, Sir Peter Pears, Sir Peter Ustinov and Professor Ellen Müller-Preis. All are now gone, but none are forgotten.

More recently there is a team of people around me to thank profusely who inspire and support on a daily basis.

First is my incredible colleague and friend Jane Anderson, who I admire tremendously and is a constant source of inspiration and support. Then there is Meldrick Advincula, whose aim — to be the best assistant in the world — is a goal he may have just achieved (and no, you cannot have him).

Thank you also to Emily Baxter for keeping the social media fire burning and Randal Killip for helping me get the message out to the broadcast media. I couldn't have done this without any of you.

The impetus for this book was born from a chance purchase many years ago of a wonderful book by Gregory Aldrete (Gestures and Acclamations in Ancient Rome) that captured my attention and sparked a fascination. This was the spark that began my journey to translate my ideas, break the modern-day paradigms that are holding us back from communicating with gravitas and produce something I hope will be useful to others.

Thank you to Kristen Lowrey, whose thoughtful editing and inputs helped me make sense of work that is not necessarily suited to the printed form. And thank you to the team at Wiley, with special mention to Lucy Raymond for having faith in me right from the start.

Across Australia, there are many friends who have helped to keep up my spirits (you know who you are), while my Yarra Valley family — Karen Maynard, Dale May, Maddison Horsley and Jack Horsley — have kept the home fires burning and been constant, faithful companions for whom love has no boundaries.

With my wonderful two children Oliver and Colette being fabulous and conquering the world in different parts of the globe, I thank you both for your support. And it would be remiss to leave out the ever-present passion of my life — Kangaroo Manor. If you can love a property, I love mine because it is alive with inspiration.

Apart from the 300 kangaroos, five koalas and many wombats I adore, Kangaroo Manor is also home to Gilbert and Sullivan, the happiest Golden Retrievers in the world; Charlie and Boots, two ridiculous donkeys; and Sir James and Two Stroke, my decades-long equine companions. Yes, they are horses, but they are friends and teachers too, and maybe being with them takes me to a time of warriorship in ancient Rome.

I'd also like to thank my clients, who play a major role in my life. You have been willing chess pieces in the game of piecing all this together, and I thank you for your trust and respect (the keys to gravitas).

I thank you all for allowing me to be creative, discover things others have forgotten and imagine things in our modern world — the things we must never forget.

PREFACEHow Opera Taught Me the Key to Gravitas

Would it surprise you to learn that the first nugget of an idea for this book came from opera — more specifically, from my life performing in the world of opera? But then I have come to believe that life is an opera or a fabula praetexta (an ancient Roman drama with a theme or legend from Roman history), and so I should not be surprised that opera is precisely where this idea started.

My career in singing was not about talent, but regime. Like an Olympian training, as singers we kept fit, we practised at length, we never sang popular music and we had few friends, if any, outside the world of classical music. Life was insular but tremendously fulfilling in the simple rewards of doing what we did well and being praised for it. It was a total discipline.

As a performer, I sang, studied, lived and made friends with some distinguished figures in the opera world, including those famed in the industry such as Sir Peter Ustinov and Dame Elisabeth Schwarzkopf, and was fortunate to be consumed by their worlds of excellence.

In Europe, we sang and communicated in at least five different languages, relying heavily on the use of signing to help our audience understand despite the language barriers. Whatever the language we were singing in, when we appeared on stage we worked to engage our audience at an intimate level, who were intrigued by the seeming magic of the world of music performance.

As Rodelinda in Rodelinda at the Aldeburgh Festival

The concentration was intense, the air was electric, the music was incredibly beautiful and the music-making was intoxicating, as we had the opportunity to work in close proximity for up to 20 hours a day. It is a world that many, as adults, wish they may have experienced but never had the opportunity to do so, and it was a privilege to have the ability to transcend to a space of complete freedom of sound that allowed me to sing unhindered for hours on end.

I was not a name in lights, but you have to be good to be offered such highly competitive roles in Europe. You also have to be consistent and have nerves of steel. In the end, this was both my failing and then my driving force to help others (I am reminded of the ancient phrase ‘physician, heal thyself’). And it also prompted my move away from performing and towards the corporate world.

In retrospect, the initial move for me from a career in singing opera to the corporate world may have appeared to be uncharacteristically heading in the wrong direction. But in reality, the lessons learned in one were just what I needed to help bring me to where I needed to be.

The Lessons of Opera

What I recall in retrospect were the skills of conductors who, although never making a sound, inspired others to rousing performances.

I remember the breathless shock of hearing international pianist Murray Perahia playing the introduction of a Mozart aria and being silenced by the beauty of his touch.

I remember discussing (and rehearsing) the importance of a millisecond pause in the music with Ian Burnside before a performance and practising the coordination of breath as we began a recital.

I remember Heather Harper's incredible agility and body strength, and Galina Vishnevskaya's magic as she wove evocative tales around us with her vivid imagination.

I experienced singers bringing a complete audience of several thousand people to tears. Although they stood on the stage, appearing as prima donnas (with an aura of self-interest), they were acutely aware of their effect on the audience, their coordination with the many other players on stage and the technical requirements of the staging, not to mention the music and emotion of the particular aria.

I was particularly fascinated by some famous names, who achieved these results with virtually no rehearsal, meeting their co-singers for the first time as they appeared in the spotlight. To actually pull off such a feat and produce a magnificent performance, true to themselves, to the music, to their audience, was something that was achieved through years of constant work and discipline.

Eventually, I brought these learnings with me, out of the world of opera and into the world of communication. I knew the world of discipline of performance, of excellence, of imbuing respect and trust, and this, I realised, was a legacy from the world of ancient Greek and Roman gravitas.

A Niche

My unique lens and perspective gave me new insight into the world of leadership and emerging leadership communication. This is where I have found my niche: working with intelligent leaders and emerging leaders who struggle with communication, confidence and imposter syndrome (that uncomfortable feeling you get when you think you're unqualified and incompetent). All that these leaders are missing — all that they need to truly realise their potential and create real impact — is the right set of skills.

Of course, leaving the world of opera for the corporate world meant starting from scratch, translating the gifts from that ‘other world’ into the present one, guided by the lessons from my different lens and the ancients.

I got a job at what was then Australia's largest company, quickly becoming part of the state-wide management team. Working with corporate executives, I witnessed how many of them expressed themselves in a dry, seemingly emotionless manner.

One day in Switzerland years previously, I had spent maybe 10 hours straight with Dame Elisabeth Schwarzkopf focusing on the amount of air to escape on two notes in an aria from the opera Der Rosenkavalier. Now, at work, I found myself dumbstruck listening to an executive stand in front of his group with no projection and a nasal drone. I thought to myself: ‘What strategy are you using here, mate?’ I just couldn't believe anyone could be so out of tune with their sound, which was such a stark contrast to the focus on voice and communication that I'd been used to.

And so the journey began. Applying my performance training, I began to consider that face-to-face presentations consisted of information ‘dumps’, based almost exclusively on a combination of two approaches: aggressive confrontation and stifling mono-tonality. The communication was generally either blunt and aggressive, or poorly structured and dull.

In 30 years in the corporate world, I've seen that the field of corporate leadership in Australia has gone through intense external pressure to develop catalysts that help leaders change an organisation. Those catalysts are at least partly achievable through honed interpersonal skills, including dialogue and ‘inspirational speech making’.1 But there was and still is a gap in the skill of delivery. Delivery is not just a component of communication: it's a way of working on the speaker's connection with self. It's how leaders connect authentically with their people.

And decades later, the need is bottomless. Results from the 2023 Edelman Trust Barometer show negative progress and an ever-downwards spiral of leadership presence and the perception of trust by others.2

What my experiences in the performance sphere have taught me is that in many cases, the elements wholly embraced by the singing and performing professions precisely mirror what is missing in the way leaders struggle to communicate effectively today.

In singing, we studied languages voraciously — looking at each word, the literal meaning of the sentence, the overall meaning of the sentence, the linguistics and the flow of the sentence — and then devised ways to match the pitch and the emotion. We studied the composition of a score and rehearsed. There was a focus on scenery, on lighting, on stage movement, on body flexibility and on working with others, and then there was even more rehearsal. The focus for change was on direct, immediate responses, and there was a constant recognition of the need to battle the unconscious mind to facilitate transformation. This was about building trust in our sound and respect for every aspect of what was conveyed. This was gravitas.

But how could I instil these skills in those wishing to communicate with others when the profession and language of opera seemed so distant from everyday needs?

And then, like a gift from the heavens, I discovered Cicero, Quintilian and many other ancient scholars. The adage ‘everything old is new again’ seemed to ring true. Reading their work was like music to my ears, seeing that literally everything they said supported everyday communication as a performance art. Their work describes and differentiates the work towards gravitas through Aristotle's five canons of rhetoric and provides practical, applicable and immediately accessible skills.

Here was a formula. Here was a deep understanding. The millennia have not dulled the relevance of the ancient experts. Here is everything we need to move forward in today's world.

INTRODUCTION

Donald Trump prepares to enter the stage at the National Golf Club in Bedminster, New Jersey, following his arraignment in Miami. He had entered a not guilty plea to 37 counts related to allegations that he kept hundreds of classified documents after his term of office expired.1

Back in New Jersey, the gathered throng are at a fever pitch when a loud, deep voice announces (a presupposition that is a stretch, at best): ‘Ladies and gentlemen. The next President of the United States!’ The audience, coaxed by a core of vocal leaders, are transfixed as they chant together ‘USA! USA! USA!’ Trump finally enters, stops in the middle of the doorway, and gestures with his arms open wide and hands facing forwards. Behind him, the flags of the nation provide a superb photographic opportunity.

Whether you like Trump or not is a personal opinion (this is certainly not a book about politics!), but it is undeniable that when he is on stage, the whole event is choreographed around his delivery. He is able to profoundly influence those in his audience, having received an astounding 67.87 million votes in 2020, nearly five million more than in 2016.2 And while his theatrics are unusual in today's political and leadership world, their overwhelming impact fascinates (or infuriates) an audience across the globe (despite the somewhat confusing and unclear speeches he often makes alongside his delivery!).

The long and the short of it … Trump has some form of gravitas. The question about whether he uses this skill with moral fortitude is a separate one. (Tiro, the assistant of Cicero, is imagined by Robert Harris to have quoted Cicero in his dying words to have said, ‘Power brings a man many luxuries, but a clean pair of hands is seldom amongst them.’3) And the answer is not obvious.

My question to you is this: can we leave the influencing to those who may not have the best intentions, when those who do are struggling?

And of course, we should take courage from the fact that — when it comes to gravitas — even the bravest fall.

The famous British-American journalist and award-winning filmmaker Louis Theroux once interviewed British adventurer, writer and television personality Bear Grylls. In this absorbing interview,4 Grylls talks about his incredible feats of bravery and survival. But he also mentions that when it comes to presenting to an audience, he crumbles. Despite being able to eat spiders and scale mountains, when it came to public speaking Grylls said, ‘I hate this more than anything.’

So what's the difference between his epic survival struggles and speaking with kids? Well, when it comes to his physical feats of endurance and bravery, he has catchphrases, rituals and techniques that help him to manage all the obstacles he faces, whether they're planned or unplanned. However, when it comes to presenting to a large group, he has nothing. Guided by a chasm of nothingness, his unconscious mind takes control and he is left scrambling.

As Bear Grylls' experience shows, many people are in this position — even the bravest among us. But why? Why are we struggling?

Communication and Confidence

The way we currently communicate has left many people — speakers and listeners alike — with a lack of confidence. This is not an innate lack. It is a gaping hole in our training. And while we were not doing well before COVID-19, the predominance of virtual communication has highlighted a weakness that is leading to disassociation, isolation and imposter syndrome. We sit quietly at the end of a virtual call, struggling to engage, absorb or respond to information because we've never been taught how to communicate better, and we believe, through experience and by watching those who came before us, that this is what's expected. When we're the ones communicating, we too often lack structure and organisation, and we tend to overlook the missing skills of delivery that would enhance our communication, instead focused on reading from a scrappy piece of paper.

With around 75 per cent of people having glossophobia5 (the fear of public speaking), one of the biggest challenges for those in the workplace is to have the confidence to speak publicly and communicate with excellence. An apparent lack of confidence in the speaker, which leads to a crumpled posture, blocked voice and a propensity to waffle, can, in turn, lead the audience to experience a lack of respect and trust in the speaker. Lack of confidence also has a direct link to performance anxiety and imposter syndrome, which can lead to us doubting our own talents and feeling like we don't deserve our role or our success. And both of these have been magnified post-COVID. The pressure has never been greater, and the skills have never been more wanting.

What is it that's holding us back from having the confidence to speak well in public and communicating with excellence — whether that's to a small room of colleagues, or on a large stage? It's the feeling that we lack gravitas. It's the feeling that we don't have the skills to deliver in a way that aligns with our authenticity as a speaker or thinker, and in a way that reinforces our authority and builds trust with our audience.

But we can build this confidence, create trust and authority and, ultimately, build our own gravitas. And to do this, we start with the learning of the ancients.

Learnings from the Ancients

These communication and confidence challenges need solutions, but there's no need to recreate the wheel. The solution does not lie in mindset: it comes from action. The answers lie in tangible, useful and immediately applicable skills of delivery, like those used by the ancient Greeks and Romans. These were people devoted to oratory and the trust and respect known as gravitas, which required a lifetime of constant application to achieve excellence.

But today we find a world where one of the key elements of rhetoric, delivery, has been completely overlooked. Delivery is where our communications fall down. And to develop gravitas we must bring delivery back into the way we speak, work and lead others.

The question arises as to why we have not recognised the ancients' knowledge of gravitas before. One explanation is that the skills are difficult to describe on paper, and so the solutions appear to have rotted on the shelves.

To reinstate the skill of delivery, we must:

shatter the paradigms that have led to our current outdated and ineffective model of communication

reinstate the body as the core of delivery (and therefore communication)

reintroduce voice into the equation

re-engage gestures in our communication

look at the modern frameworks of rhetoric (and what's missing)

actively practise the skills of rhetoric.

Much of what we need to do to achieve this, and solve today's modern crisis of communication, has already been developed. We just need to know where to look. And this book will show you how!

A Different Lens

The ancients believed that confidence is a choice and is gained by taking action. It's time we re-learned how their knowledge can be used to bridge our modern gaps in communication and confidence. In this book, you'll discover a new model of communication, built on that timeless wisdom. It's a model that anyone can implement, easily, in their own lives, and gain back those feelings of confidence and trust that are so vital to communicating well.

In this book, you'll discover that our actions are a set of habitual patterns, as opposed to the idea that somebody is ‘a natural’ or has a ‘good voice’. I focus on three major areas of new skills — body, gestures and voice — which can help you to, ultimately, achieve your goal of learning gravitas.

This model is built on the following principles:

Each person is born with a perfect instrument (body and voice).

All people can express themselves.

There are no bad sounds, although sometimes there are unhealthy sounds.

Voice, body and mind are inextricably linked.

In Roman times, reputedly the greatest orator of all time, Marcus Tullius Cicero (106–43 BCE), was what was called a novus homo, a ‘new man’, with the handicap of no family or famous ancestors. This meant he had no role models to look to who could share the skills with him that he needed for his future. But Cicero knew how to grow. He understood the notion of developing skills and habitual change and learnt to ‘play his own body’.

This was the skills development he experienced, and the skills development I experienced during my opera study. These experiences have shaped the method I have developed to help people in the workplace create stronger communications and leadership today.

How to Use This Book

My mission in this book is not to influence you about politics (Trump) or send you out into the wilderness (like Grylls)! It is also not a fulsome, in-depth exploration of rhetoric and gravitas. If you're a rhetorician or interested in a deep dive into the full research and studies, both ancient and contemporary, around this subject, get in touch — I'd be happy to send you my PhD work instead!

What this book is for is to demonstrate and analyse the techniques used by those who are experts at influence, including those scholars of ancient Greece and Rome — who showcase that quality of gravitas — and explore the research (both modern and ancient) that is applicable to all of us who want to develop those qualities ourselves.

Gravitas will help you to have more confidence in yourself and, in turn, gain more trust and ‘buy in’ from your audiences. Which means the rewards are substantial.

This book will help you rediscover those skills that lead to the outcomes you're looking for in your communications. It is designed to lay out those solutions so that you can get in tune with better communications, see through the different lens I hope to share and build your own unique gravitas.

Is This Book for You?

While running speaking and coaching events, I hear over and over how people struggle to communicate confidently. This book is for you if you're worried that your voice is not being heard in the workplace (or in life), that you lack gravitas, or that your communication is weak and ineffectual. And if you are feeling this way, it's important to understand that you're not alone.

But great news … there are practical tools you can apply to overcome this struggle, and they're right here in this book!

Let's get started!

Chapter 1Gravitas

Joan came to me three years ago in a state of complete distress. She had an important position as a thought leader in her field and had been asked some time ago to present at a major conference.

This was an important occasion for her. It represented the culmination of years of work and demonstrated how she was now being appreciated by her community. She felt pressure to showcase her thinking and leverage her success, while at the same time being humble — all the while delivering a presentation that would leave the audience captivated and motivated.

Unfortunately, when she walked out on stage to deliver her presentation, she saw the audience and froze. She was struck with a tremendous case of performance anxiety.

After mumbling a few words, sweating, losing all the moisture in her mouth and fumbling, she left the stage. No one knew what to say. No one wanted to speak to her. She went home and her journey with performance anxiety began … until we met.

Today, after our work together on communication and gravitas, Joan speaks to thousands internationally. She is a key thought leader in her field, and she is seen and heard as such. She is able to lead with gravitas — and if it works for Joan, it can work for you.

Understanding how to lead with gravitas begins with understanding what gravitas is, and how it works together with the terms oratory (the art or practice of speaking in public) and rhetoric (the art or practice of persuasive speech or writing).

Our modern understanding of these ideas has changed significantly from the way they were originally understood by the ancient Romans and Greeks, and I believe that we have much to learn from them. By investigating this ancient understanding we can learn not only how to better understand gravitas, but also how to implement it in our lives and our work.

Oratory, Gravitas and Rhetoric

Entering the world of corporate communications, I quickly realised that I needed to rediscover the skills of communication from a fresh perspective. Ultimately, I found this perspective through the learnings of the philosophers and orators of ancient Rome and Greece. But diving into the communication styles of the ancient world was like diving into a can of worms — confusing, wriggly and hard to pin down!