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- Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
- Kategorie: Fachliteratur
- Sprache: Englisch
Transform your relationship with money into one that powers true wellbeing. Money can buy happiness when you spend it on wellness. In Happy Money Happy Life: A Multidimensional Approach to Health, Wealth, and Financial Freedom, celebrated writer, speaker, and entrepreneur Jason Vitug delivers an exciting and practical discussion at the intersection of our mental and emotional health and our money. You'll explore the importance of physical and spiritual wellbeing, the interconnectedness of environmental comfort, meaningful work, and social connections as you learn to live a healthier, wealthier, and happier life. With insightful takeaways from happiness research, you'll understand how money weaves itself into every aspect of your life and how you can masterfully use it to choose happiness. In the book, you'll find: * Descriptions of the 8 dimensions of wellness and a hands-on framework you can use to achieve your financial and life goals * 4 key principles to living a happier life * A holistic strategy for transforming your relationship with money into one that improves every aspect of your wellbeing An indispensable roadmap to mental strength, physical health, financial success, and emotional intelligence, Happy Money Happy Life is ideal for professionals, managers, workers, executives, and other business leaders ready to explore the possibility that life is about joy and happiness, not merely titles and salaries.
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Seitenzahl: 359
Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2023
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Table of Contents
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Preface: Better Luck Next Life
Introduction
FINANCIAL ISOLATION
HOW TO USE THIS BOOK
BOOK I: In Pursuit of Happiness
CHAPTER 1: The Artful Nonscience of Happiness
YOUR INCOME AND HAPPINESS
YOUR TIME AND HAPPINESS
YOUR STUFF AND HAPPINESS
NOTES
CHAPTER 2: Money Isn't Everything
FINANCIALLY WELL AND HEALTHY
FINANCIALLY STRETCHED AND STRESSED
YOUR FINANCIAL HEALTH MATTERS
NOTES
CHAPTER 3: But Money Impacts Most Things
THE WELLNESS WHEEL
IT'S INTERCONNECTED
THE HAPPINESS CONNECTION
NOTES
CHAPTER 4: Money Can Buy Happiness
MONEY WEAVES ITSELF INTO EVERYTHING
HOW MONEY BUYS HAPPINESS
NOTES
BOOK II: Happy Life
Poetic Introduction
CHAPTER 5: Happy Money
HOW TO LIVE FINANCIALLY FREE
THE DIMENSIONS OF MONEY
NOTES
CHAPTER 6: Happy Work
WORK IS AN ESSENTIAL PART OF WELLNESS
YOU'RE ABOUT THE RIGHT AGE
YOU'RE GROWN ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND
YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO RETIRE
YOU'RE NEVER TOO OLD TO REWIRE
WORK THE WELLNESS DIMENSIONS
NOTES
CHAPTER 7: Happy Mind
IN ALL SERIOUSNESS
MIND THE MONEY
GIVE YOUR MIND WHAT IT NEEDS
MIND THE DIMENSIONS
NOTES
CHAPTER 8: Happy Heart
MONEY IS FEELINGS
ARE YOU FEELING ME?
EMOTIONS ARE YOUR SIXTH SENSE
EXPERIENCES ARE FEELINGS
DEBT HURTS
FEELING WORTHY
NOTES
CHAPTER 9: Happy Body
LISTEN TO YOUR BODY
STRESS WILL WREAK HAVOC ON YOUR BODY
THE MIND AND BODY CONNECTION
THE HUSTLE AND GRIND BODY
MONEY MOVEMENTS
SPEND TO GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK
BUY FOR HEALTH
YOU ONLY HAVE ONE
NOTES
CHAPTER 10: Happy Social
CULTIVATING YOUR INNER CIRCLE
SOCIAL DYNAMICS OF MONEY
YOUR SOCIAL HEALTH IS SOCIAL WEALTH
NOTES
CHAPTER 11: Happy Space
YOUR HOME SPACE
YOUR DIGITAL SPACES
YOUR OUTDOOR SPACES
SPACES AND DIMENSIONS
NOTES
CHAPTER 12: Happy Spirit
SOMETHING IS MISSING
ARE YOU SEARCHING FOR A PURCHASE?
GIVING BACK TO SERVE A PURPOSE
YOUR PATH TO PURPOSE
BEING MINDFUL AND TIMELY
THE INSPIRED DIMENSIONS
HAPPY DIMENSION CONCLUSION
PRACTICAL APPROACH TO BUY HAPPINESS
WHAT'S NEXT
NOTES
A Spoken Word Poetic Break
A HAPPY EXERCISE
BOOK III: Choosing Financial Happiness
NOTES
CHAPTER 13: Part 1: Money Beliefs: Your Thoughts and Feelings
TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT
THIS IS WHAT YOU REALLY WANT
EXCHANGING YOUR TIME FOR A PAYCHECK
SPENDING YOUR TIME ON STUFF
NOTES
CHAPTER 14: Part 2: Money Vitals: Your Financial Health Numbers
NET WORTH
CASH FLOW
INCOME NUMBER
CREDIT SCORE
DEBT-TO-INCOME
CHAPTER 15: Part 3: Money Journey: Your Path to Financial Happiness
SMILE MONEY STEPS
CHAPTER 16: Path 1: Save for the Unexpected
CHAPTER 17: Path 2: You're Going to Retire One Day
STEP 1: CALCULATE YOUR RETIREMENT NEEDS
STEP 2: KNOW YOUR RETIREMENT INVESTMENT OPTIONS
NOTES
CHAPTER 18: Path 3: Debt Is Holding You Back
NOTE
CHAPTER 19: Path 4: You Need to Make More Money
CHAPTER 20: Path 5: Start Investing Right Now
INVEST USING A TAXABLE BROKERAGE ACCOUNT
GROWTH THROUGH SMALL INVESTMENTS
INVEST USING A ROTH IRA
NOTES
CHAPTER 21: Path 6: Be Creditworthy, Not Credit Hungry
YOUR CREDIT REPORT
YOUR CREDIT SCORE
CHAPTER 22: Path 7: For Your Protection, Please
PROTECT YOUR IDENTITY
PROTECT YOURSELF FROM SCAMS
PROTECT YOUR ASSETS
PROTECT YOUR EARNINGS
PROTECT YOUR LEGACY
YOU'RE NOT ALONE
CHAPTER 23: Path 8: Your Ultimate Safety Net
CHAPTER 24: Path 9: Independence Is Your Birthright
CHALLENGE YOUR LIFESTYLE CHOICES
HOW TO REACH FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE
SMILE MONEY STEPS CONCLUSION
NOTE
Conclusion: Choose Happiness
YOUR HAPPY VISION STATEMENT
HAPPY MONEY HAPPY LIFE KEY LESSONS
A Poetic Affirmation
About the Author
Acknowledgments
RESOURCES
Index
End User License Agreement
Guide
Cover
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Preface: Better Luck Next Life
Happy Money Happy Life
Introduction
Begin Reading
Conclusion: Choose Happiness
A Poetic Affirmation
About the Author
Acknowledgments
Index
End User License Agreement
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Happy Money Happy Life
A Multidimensional Approach to Health, Wealth, and Financial Freedom
Jason Vitug
Copyright © 2023 by Jason Vitug. All rights reserved.
Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey.Published simultaneously in Canada.
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available:
ISBN 9781394171262 (Hardback)ISBN 9781394171279 (ePDF)ISBN 9781394171286 (ePUB)
Cover Design: Paul MccarthyCover Art: © Jason Vitug
To my family and friends, the wealth I value most.
Preface: Better Luck Next Life
I was shaking my head before I uttered, “Impossible.”
“You're burnt out,” my doctor blurted, with his eyes solely fixed on an iPad.
How could I be burnt out from doing work I really loved? Okay, I've been on the road for almost two years, but I enjoyed it. Sure, I have been tired during the day and restless at night. The headaches come, but they do go away eventually. The physical aches that often forced me to cancel meetings, I suppose, didn't happen all that often. And truthfully, I thought it was kind of funny that I needed a nap in the middle of conversations with friends. I was unable to keep my eyes open.
“There has to be something else going on.”
His eyes now fixed on me with furrowed brows, he says, “The tests are negative. Based on the symptoms you've shared, I'd say stress and possibly adrenal fatigue, but that's not a real diagnosis.”
I left the doctor's office in shock. I was not shocked that I was stressed, but I was shocked that I'd been in this situation before. The mental stress, the emotional rollercoaster, the weight of financial responsibilities, and the workload—enjoyable or not—took a toll on my health.
Something was wrong. But I've mastered the skill of mental gymnastics. My hair was thinning and falling out, but maybe it's just genetics. I easily covered the rash on my chest—out of sight, out of mind. And the dark circles and bags under my eyes I could triumphantly explain as a sign of someone working hard for their dreams. Rather than do what I needed to do, I justified doing the opposite—to get things done. My body, however, had other plans; how I felt inside was now making an appearance outside.
You'd think I'd slow down. Instead, I made the ill-considered decision to keep going. Why? As a recently successful speaker and bestselling author, I was in high demand, and this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Hashtag YOLO, am I right?
When I wrote You Only Live Once, I shared the knowledge that time is short but can also be quite long. Within the book, I stated that the goal was to find the balance of living well today while financially planning for a better tomorrow. Time was an asset to live our dream life in this lifetime. And I shared parts of my story: I didn't grow up with much but had my essentials covered. I worked through college, made financial mistakes, ascended the corporate ladder, earned good money, and retired 40 years early. Truth be told, I didn't plan on retiring—it was more of a break. A tightly held secret of a mental break. Fortunately, my finances enabled me to take time off—a sabbatical year—in the middle of my career.
“Are you serious?” my brother asked at the time.
My parents thought I was going mad. Friends were questioning my decision in professional terms. And some coworkers were heard whispering, “He must be rich.” I wasn't rich, but I was financially secure. I did plan to return to corporate America. But walking on the nontraditional path, the world offers enticing challenges and unique opportunities. My life wouldn't be the same.
In my case, I found myself as an accidental entrepreneur with a growing platform and an actionable process. I shared my story and championed my purpose. My message resonated with thousands of people. The framework helped many achieve financial and life goals. It seemed I had found my way.
But behind the success, I was struggling mentally and emotionally. The stress of entrepreneurship led to exhaustion. Dealing with the health issues of loved ones and my own took its toll. They had a “real” diagnosis, but I only had symptoms. I also never fully grieved the loss of a good friend. I pushed forward instead of pausing. And I continued to struggle with the intimacy of relationships and suppressed childhood traumas. The psychological weight of it all began affecting my physical health, which impacted my ability to earn income and began hurting my financial well-being. All that stress led me to withdraw socially. And as time passed, I started wondering which came first, the mental struggles or the financial issues. I didn't know where to begin or how to fix the messiness.
My phone rang. I got a call from my finance guy. The person I hired and entrusted with my money said he made some very bad decisions. Without hesitation, I let him go and used my skill at mental gymnastics to fool myself that it wasn't a big deal: I could fix the problem. At that time, I didn't understand the extent of my growing financial crisis.
I got another phone call. It was the hospital letting me know my mom was admitted after passing out at work. My mother has health issues related to chronic stress, but this time it was different. Something else was going on. To be with my mom, I shortened a work event in Tennessee. And while she was still in the emergency room, my dad also ended up in the ER. So, there I was, visiting two hospital beds. I was being visibly strong for my parents and running my growing business. In reality, I was just trying to keep it all together.
And in keeping with Murphy's Law, I received yet another phone call, this time about a legal issue. The person angrily stated they'd tried reaching me multiple times. The woman on the other end of the call was vocally agitated. She wanted me to pay up. But as someone who knows a thing or two about finance, I knew my legal rights and asked for more details. She didn't respond well to my request and hung up. I don't recall the specific financial details, but I remember how this person made me feel. It's seared into my memory. In her words, I was incompetent, useless, and a low-life.
Eventually, I was served a court summons: I was being sued. I tried a reasonable option to make right what my finance person did wrong but to no avail. That led me to seek advice from the alphabet soup of financial professionals: a certified public accountant (CPA), a certified financial planner (CFP®), accredited financial counselors (AFC®), and two attorneys. I created a money team to help me make one of the biggest financial decisions ever.
I started this journey as a financially secure early retiree and ended up as a bankrupted entrepreneur.
Better luck next life, am I right?
We all have mental challenges and emotional baggage. It's often easier to deal with them when we have the financial means or to ignore them by purchasing stuff or taking a vacation (aka taking a break from our stressful life). And when we can't afford these things, we emphasize that the lack of money prevents us from feeling happy. What I've learned is how we're not spending money happily. Sure, you can spend your money as you wish on anything: it's your money. But, spending money to affect your overall well-being leads to long-term satisfaction rather than short-term gratification.
I was left pondering a question: money can solve money problems, but how can money solve life problems?
Getting better with money meant improving my financial health. With better financial means, I lessened my stress levels, but it didn't mean I was living a happy life. I knew how to affect my mood through purchases (goods or experiences), but I hadn't improved my overall well-being.
I kept searching for the answer and came to a realization: it's essential to improve financial health because it gives us the resources to work on life problems.
In 2018, while enjoying a cup of coffee on the balcony of my Airbnb in Positano, Italy, I had an epiphany—it was all connected. Everything. My financial, mental, and physical health were all connected. My research led me to the eight wellness dimensions: intellectual, physical, emotional, spiritual, financial, environmental, occupational, and social health.
After understanding the different wellness dimensions, I realized their interconnectedness. Working on one dimension impacts another and can affect multiple areas. It gave me an idea. To improve my condition, I needed to address an area of high concern at the time—my finances. I focused on financial health, a dimension I had more knowledge in, to get the biggest impact.
My efforts to improve my financial health led to making the best financial decision for my situation. It would eventually lead to a positive ripple effect on other wellness dimensions.
But making the best financial decision wasn't easy. It tested and pushed the limits of my emotional and spiritual health. If my identity was tied to professional and financial success, then who am I? I was someone who felt broken and defeated. It was a time of so much turmoil and pain. I was deathly afraid of what other people would think and wasn't sure if I could handle any more stress.
I sought therapy and decided to take a step back—allowing myself time to process. Unfortunately, stepping away from the work that made me feel alive only left me feeling alone. I lost my sense of purpose and, with it, my spirit—my inspiration to participate in life. I felt worthless, a sham, an imposter until a good friend said, “You know who your people are when they cheer for your resurgence.”
Well, this is my resurgence. The test of my resiliency against the grip of ill-ness to a space of well-ness. I am in a happy place. I've become more open about my struggles and how those issues affected my financial health. And how improving my financial health has elevated my overall well-being. In this journey, I'm learning my willingness to be vulnerable publicly is helping in my healing and giving others HOPE—Hearing Other People's Experiences.
Through all this, my belief holds true: you only live once. But you get the opportunity to have many lives in one lifetime. When one journey ends, another begins. We are allowed to make mistakes but must give ourselves space and grace to move past them. We can start anew. We can reinvent ourselves a multitude of times. We can try and fail and try again. And when we hit rock bottom, it simply means we're only left with one option—the choice to go up. I chose to get up.
If you're wondering where “better luck next life” came from, it was from a fellow blogger who attended my You Only Live Once book event at a financial conference in San Diego. He shared his cultural belief in reincarnation and explained that the phrase “better luck next life” is a reminder that we “get to live again and again until we get it right.” So, he jokingly said I was wrong and that “we don't live just once.” Well, I do know one thing for sure: we get an opportunity to live again and again until we get it right but in the span of one lifetime.
Who knew years later that four words from a stranger would be the perfect preface title to encapsulate a period of my life? I wish I remembered his name and could thank him. But if that's you and you're reading this, I want you to know I'm having better luck in my next life.
In the past few years, we've been through a lot. We all have experienced a time filled with loss, uncertainty, fear, and pain. Its psychological impact will be felt for years. It makes sense that mental and emotional health is a topic of importance for many. And it's a reason why I've written this book. I want to share the interconnection of financial health with overall well-being to guide you to a healthy and happier version of yourself.
Surprisingly, with all the economic uncertainty, my toughest financial decision better prepared me for the pandemic. I was mentally stronger, doing financially well, and had a reorganized business positioned at the forefront of financial health. And in the loneliness of quarantine, I found a renewed sense of purpose and vigor to serve it.
During the quarantine, my scheduled speaking gigs were postponed indefinitely, so I used my “free” time to address an area I had neglected for far too long—my physical health. As a self-described bad cook, I learned to cook healthy using meal kit delivery services. And after years of on- and- off practice, I completed my 200-hour yoga teacher certification and finally understood yoga—a connection of mind, body, and spirit. I was also introduced to the power of breathwork (and got certified, too), which is helping me respond to my thoughts and feelings.
As the pandemic days turned to months, I read many books to understand myself, others, and the world and my place in it. I became that dog person who must hold the world record for dog photos on a smartphone and gained a deeper understanding of emotional intelligence.
In many ways, I'm living a different life within the same lifetime.
Some people, believing I've made an unforgivable financial decision, will ask why they or anyone else should listen to me. As my money team would collectively say, some of the biggest voices in personal finance and business have no issue using their legal right to asset protection. And my attorney would add, “it just makes them more relatable.”
I'm unsure if they're more relatable but they're possibly more like real people. I'm a real person who's faced personal struggles and financial challenges but still holding onto hope and big dreams. I know many people facing a multitude of wellness issues and holding onto hope and big dreams. Maybe you're one of them, and that's why this book is in your hands.
In my “previous life,” I didn't know how to share these stories of mental health and financial issues. Fortunately, in living my next life, sharing these stories of health and wealth is the basis of Happy Money Happy Life.
Perhaps you'll relate to my story or be repelled by it. But maybe, just maybe, you'll come to learn how someone who seemed to have it all together and then lost it all was able to bounce back healthier, wealthier, and happier.
A Poetic Introduction
Happy money truths.
You will save.
You will invest.
You will pay off debt.
You will spend a little less.
And make a bit more.
But You will live.
Not just alive.
Willing
and Living.
A happy life.
Less money worries.
And more life stories.
Introduction
You want to be happy.
I believe you deserve to be happy, so I've written this book for you. If you've picked up this book and believe money can help you be happier, you're in for a treat. And if you believe money can't buy happiness but are open to new ideas, this book is most definitely for you too.
I wrote this book because I discovered a fundamental truth—money isn't everything, but it impacts most things.
And as in most things, money affects how you think and feel about yourself and how you relate to others, and it impacts your experiences at home, at work, and in society.
Money affects your happiness.
Whether you agree or disagree that money can lead to a happy life, we've built a society that runs on money. And those who learn to master it gain the advantage of choosing happiness.
“But, money can't buy happiness,” people have said repeatedly. I believe this is said in an effort for some to keep “the truth” a secret. The people who understand money's effect on happiness often earn more and create wealth, while those living without “the truth” struggle to make ends meet.
Money can buy happiness because it allows you to afford the necessities of life, such as housing, food, clothing, and medicine. And when you're able to pay for the essentials and some luxuries too, it becomes easier to choose happiness.
While money can buy happiness, money isn't happiness.
It's crucial to understand the difference. Your purpose in life is not to chase, earn, and hoard money. It's a resource to be used. When used according to a set of principles (you'll learn in this book), it enables you to serve a greater good, your life's purpose.
You need to be good with money to have a happy life in this world. That doesn't mean you need to earn the most, have the most, or even be a millionaire (although I will share how to do just that). This book approaches money as your tool; as such, you'll need to learn what it is, how to handle it, and where to use it to achieve your goals.
I will challenge your beliefs about money and its tangible and intangible qualities, and provide you with a practical and systematic approach. You will learn to shift your thinking to enable money to flow into your life, so you can direct the outward flow to areas that support your happiness and well-being.
But I've also learned why so many, including myself, have difficulty allowing money to flow and why we've been messy with our finances. The financial messiness fosters a lot of stress. It takes a toll on our mental and emotional well-being, often manifesting itself in physical ailments. And if that wasn't enough, being a financial mess can affect our experiences, relationships, work satisfaction, and living conditions.
Could you reach financial milestones and still be unhappy? Absolutely.
Is it possible you are overspending to buy happiness? Possibly.
Are you not happy because of your finances, or are your finances a result of your unhappiness? The goal of this book is to help you connect the dots.
In short, I'm here to share how money affects other parts of your life—the mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, social, occupational, and environmental— and how those parts have an inverse effect on your financial health.
MY HAPPY MESSAGES
My attempt isn't to explain everything and overwhelm you. I aim to share what I believe are the simplest and most effective ways to live financially well and have a happy life. The key themes throughout the book include:
Happiness varies for everyone because
your
needs are different.
You
can
choose to be happy.
Your money
buys
happiness by impacting health and wellness.
FINANCIAL ISOLATION
During the pandemic isolation period, many had realizations about their financial health. People with money and good jobs found flexibility and comfort amidst the uncertainty. Conversely, other people experienced financial vulnerability, heightened mental stress, and emotional exhaustion. And some who practiced extreme frugality and avoided dining out with friends began feeling the effects of social isolation on their well-being.
Many of these people made a good income, saved, and invested, while others were experiencing financial shortcomings. But all were seeking more than dollars and cents. They wanted joy and happiness.
If you're connecting the dots, you're on the verge of a major shift with money that leads to holistic well-being. Within these pages, you'll learn how money affects financial health and impacts your thoughts and feelings, physical condition, the spirit within, social life, home comforts, and work satisfaction.
We've been told that our financial issues can lead to mental and emotional distress. But the reverse is true too. Our mental and emotional health often impacts our finances and affects how we save, spend, and invest money. This is why I've written this book, to offer you a better way to master finances to reach your goals and improve your well-being.
Ask yourself, What's the value of mental and emotional well-being? What price will you pay for better physical health? What's the cost of choosing meaningful work? What's the return on living in a nice home and better neighborhood? Can you afford not to have friends? What's your worth without work and purpose?
As you can see (and perhaps already know), money weaves itself into every aspect of our lives. Yet, we don't think of money in that way, and we haven't been taught how to manage money for happiness, satisfaction, and well-being.
Before starting this journey, I want you to reflect on where you are today. Own your starting point whether you're doing well or struggling a bit. It doesn't matter how you start, but where you end up. The place you end up in will largely be attributed to the knowledge, work, and determination to keep moving forward.
Let's move forward.
HOW TO USE THIS BOOK
The book has three parts and is written like a cohesively intertwined trilogy. This was done to show a progressive connection. You'll gain a high-level view of happiness and practical steps to master money. Book I is on happiness, Book II is on life, and Book III is on money.
I wrote this book with an intentional flow and conclusion, but it was written to allow you to skip around and read specific chapters as often as necessary. Do you want to find meaningful work? Go to Chapter 6. Do you want to learn about mental health? Go to Chapter 7. Do you want to find your purpose? Flip to Chapter 12. Do you want to invest for financial independence? Turn to Chapter 24.
However, I suggest reading the entire book so you know what it can offer you. And you have my permission (okay, it's your book so permit yourself) to mark it up, highlight paragraphs, underline sentences, and circle words. Feel free to write your thoughts on the edges. Make notes about what makes sense or sparked more questions. Don't be afraid to fold or dog-ear pages so that you can return to the sections that are most important to you. And I encourage you to get a journal or notebook for the simple exercises.
Now that's out of the way, what will you be learning?
Book I: In Pursuit of Happiness
In this section, you'll learn the science behind happiness in a very artful way that will inspire you to prioritize the pursuit of happiness. In the following chapters, you'll learn how money affects your life and how to spend money to improve your well-being and experience long-term happiness.
Happiness
You can choose to be happy.
Money can buy happiness, but money
isn't
happiness.
Money buys happiness by impacting health and wellness.
Improve your well-being and experience long-term happiness.
Book II: Happy Life
In this section, you'll learn about the eight happy dimensions. You'll understand the interconnectedness and how money affects each dimension.
Happy Life
You only live once; make it a happy life.
Happy Money
(Financial)
Living financially free.
Happy Work
(Occupational)
Rewire; don't retire.
Happy Mind
(Mental)
Invest in yourself and learn continually.
Happy Heart
(Emotional)
Memories appreciate; stuff depreciates.
Happy Body
(Physical)
Be kind to your body; it's priceless.
Happy Social
(Social)
Connections are your lifeline.
Happy Space
(Environmental)
Free your space and yourself.
Happy Spirit
(Spiritual)
Serve a purpose, not a purchase.
Book III: Happy Money
In this section, you'll learn strategies and tactics to improve your finances to reach your goals.
Part 1:
Shift your
money beliefs
to get what you really want.
Part 2:
Assess your
money vitals
to improve your financial health.
Part 3:
Start your
money journey
to reach financial freedom.
Are you ready? Let's get started on your journey to Happy Money Happy Life.
BOOK IIn Pursuit of Happiness
Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim, and end of human existence.
—Aristotle
Life's too short to pursue anything else than happiness.
“Is this what retirement means?” she asked, staring directly into my eyes.
My mom was sitting at the examination table. We've been to multiple doctors. She's undergone multiple tests. It was the confirmation of what we already knew to be a fact. But hearing the words left an indelible mark.
“You have Parkinson's,” the doctor said.
My mom started crying. I couldn't hold back my tears. I walked over and grabbed her hands. Pulling me closer, she dropped her head onto my chest, sobbing. I wrapped my arms around her trembling body and said, “Everything will be okay.”
I wasn't quite sure if everything would be okay. But I needed to say something to alleviate the suffering my mom was experiencing.
On her commute to work, she had started feeling her left leg shaking from time to time. As months passed, the shaking moved to her arm. And then the muscle stiffness began. A neurologist said we could slow down the progression through medication and exercises. I asked him if there was anything else that could be done. He looked at my mom and asked, “What do you enjoy doing?”
Upon hearing the question, she started crying. It had been like this for quite some time. When another doctor asked her, “What are your hobbies and passions?” My mom paused for a minute and said, “I don't know.”
My mom has spent most of her life working to earn a living. She's been the breadwinner for years and managed the household finances. I never saw her spend money on herself. But my parents did spend money on a lot of things. One day, as we packed their belongings for their retirement move, she said, “I want to be happy.” I wasn't quite sure if sifting through stuff made her reflect on past purchases or her life.
We spend most of our lives exchanging our time for a paycheck. At first, to afford the necessities of life, then we spend more just to escape the lifestyle we've mindlessly created. We're buying things to make us happy, even though we know it doesn't last long. So we continue working to earn money to keep buying. We live to work to spend. At the same time, we hope that one day we can live life in retirement.
I've learned one thing about life: nothing is guaranteed. I'm sure you've learned that lesson too. We've all lived through massive changes from 9/11 to the Great Recession to the pandemic. And whether the changes are personal or global, I'm reminded that most things are out of our control, but some things are ours to control, like choosing happiness.
My financial health gives me choices. It allows me to be there for my parents. I've spent the past few years as a de facto caretaker for them. I've shared with friends: if I can't help my parents, why am I working so hard? What kind of life am I designing?
I have the financial means. I work for myself. I don't have to report to an office, and I can pick and choose the work I do. My boss might sometimes be demanding, but I've learned to give myself space and grace. It wasn't always like this. I had to make better decisions to make this life possible.
My pursuit of happiness meant pursuing wellness. I realized it wasn't about chasing the emotion. It meant taking care of the different aspects of myself to be prepared for opportunities and to become stronger in difficult times. There have been many difficult times. And even in those difficulties, I found happiness.
Happiness is personal. It's as personal as love. It's a universal emotion we get to have, but how we describe it varies from person to person. I've learned that chasing happiness and buying stuff—believing stuff is happiness—just leaves us dissatisfied, unhappy, and unwell. There is a better way to pursue happiness in life.
The phrase “the pursuit of happiness” are words we know well. It's enshrined in the Declaration of Independence. When I ask people to define happiness, the responses always start with “for me, happiness is ….” And that's because it's personalized. It's quite possible that was the intention of the phrase, “life, liberty and the pursuit of __________ (fill in the blank).
What is happiness to you? Can you define it? Articulate it? Do you feel happy as you describe it?
Happiness is such a nebulous emotion. You can be happy with a stranger's kind gesture and happy in the arms of a lover. You can be happy reading a book and happy working on a project. You can be happy exploring the world and happy sitting on the couch. You can be happy when others are sad. And you can be suffering while others are happy.
We're unhappy because we're suffering in small and big ways. People are suffering because they can't afford medicine. People are suffering because of cheating spouses. People are suffering because of crime. People suffer from emotional turmoil, loneliness, physical pain, debt, and the weather.
We all want to be happy as an antidote to suffering. Perhaps, we could say we're “in pursuit of less suffering.”
How do you want to suffer less?
I've met thousands of people in my work and had many personal conversations. It is no longer surprising that we talk about life and happiness, not merely money and investments.
“Life is short, but life can be long too,” I'd say. “We still have time for more happiness.”
“You can't be happy all the time,” yells a heckler. “You're just fooling yourself.”
I was giving a talk about money and happiness when I was interrupted. It was such a negative take on what seemed like an optimistic pursuit. I know I can't be happy all the time. It's an emotion. Emotions come and go.
“If I can't be happy all the time, then it's safe to assume I can't be sad all the time too?” I asked.
He didn't respond. I noticed that his mind was making a connection.
Many people do face life challenges and believe a way to happiness is more money. It can be. However, people who believe money is happiness pursue it endlessly, never finding fulfillment. The pursuit of money took them away from connections, meaning, and wellness. It left them broken, defeated, and lonely.
And the few who pursued big dreams, while broke and financially struggling, found satisfaction and wealth. They were driven by something else—a sense of purpose.
But money does give us more options to pursue a different path. Many others shared their pursuit of leaving toxic jobs, escaping crime-ridden neighborhoods, and abusive relationships. They've told me their stories of childhood trauma, mental health issues, and physical illnesses. And many were able to heal, escape, and start anew because money, in one way or another, offered them options.
The people with these life challenges didn't believe more money would make them happy in their situations. They saw money as a tool to get them out.
Money gives people options, but it's the choices that are made that lead to happiness.
I've learned in the past few years that if I experience sadness because of situations, I also experience happiness based on situations. It was imperative for me to understand what situations fostered more happiness.
I discovered the growing trend in happiness research through positive psychology. Previous research has focused mostly on negative emotions rather than positive ones. But I simply didn't want to avoid sadness. I wanted to be happier. My curiosity led me to pursue an artful nonscientific study of happiness.
What does happiness mean to you?
CHAPTER 1The Artful Nonscience of Happiness
I've held hundreds of events in 44 states across the United States. I've met thousands of people from all walks of life in different life situations and circumstances. The differences in lived experiences are unmistakable, but one similarity is unquestionable: we all want to be happy.
“Is there something more?” a voice emerged from the crowded bar.
Over pizza and beer, I shared my story of financial struggles and professional success.
“Who said that?”
I scanned the room to see who shouted the question: a 21-year-old Mizzou college student with a perplexed look stood up.
“Was there anything else going on to leave a good-paying job you said you loved?” he asked.
“There's much more to the story than turning my back on professional success. But to be truthful, I'm not quite ready to get into those details. I can share that money fixes money problems, but it isn't the answer to life problems,” I replied.
