How do you make decisions in life? E-Book

Manika Apsara

• Herausgeber: Gôndola
• Kategorie: Ratgeber
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 282

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2021

Beschreibung

This book, whose origin lies on a series of webinars presentedin 2020, has been edited in love and reverence to the Masters that have beenenlightening my journey as a human being, as a therapist and a spiritual seeker (Manika Apsara, author). The search for self-knowledge and the expansion of consciousnessare ancient human aspirations, which havemobilized individuals and cultures formillennia. Men and women, at different times and in different ways, have alwaysacted oninitiative and put efforts on going beyond the common place, thecomfort zone and the limitations that imprison and suffocate the I, the Self,the Essence, the Presence (Anand Neerava, preface).

Leseprobe

copyright © Manika Apsara

How do you make decisions in life?

Gôndola - 2021

ISBN 978-65-89884-05-7

Editorial Supervision

Flávia Portela

Video Transcription

Fátima Machado

Cover

Flávia Portela

Fernanda Barata Ribeiro

Cover Photography

Priscila Jammal

Layout and Graphic Design

Fernanda Barata Ribeiro

Content Revision

Jane Rosália do Nascimento Pessôa

Sueli Maria Clemente (Amrish Sukha)

Zina Voltis

Copy Editing

Karine Simões

English Version

Fatima Machado

Editorial Consultancy and Final Content Revision

Anand Neerava (Mário Xavier)

2021

All rights reserved to: Estúdio F Design / Editora Lacre

www.editoralacre.com.br

The views and opinions expressed in this book are those of the author who are solely and entirely responsible for the text and its content.

Acknowledgements

Gratitude is a word which permeates my entire life so intensely that it makes writing personalized thank-you notes in this book a difficult task.

Through my life and work, I have experienced endless opportunities of sharing, improvement, friendship, and giving. This way, every Being that crosses, interacts with, or becomes part of my path is unique just as what I get from each of them.

This book, whose origin lies on a series of webinars presented in 2020, has been edited in love and reverence to the Masters that have been enlightening my journey as a human being, as a therapist and a spiritual seeker.

I am deeply grateful to my beloved Master Osho – who covered me in his immense love, and since then, all the days of my Existence are filled with his scent.

I am grateful to Leonard Orr, the inventor of the Rebirthing technique, for having devoted his whole life, with surrender and wisdom, to build this legacy which is something essential to the evolution of Beings.

I thank all the Masters and Therapists who, over almost thirty years of search, have been essential to my growth and to my learning process.

I would like to mention, with special feelings, my friend and therapist Raj (Anand Yogendra), who brought his baggage, his body, his heart and his soul, the strength of his love and of Osho’s work when he first came to Brazil to run a training course in Primal Therapy; and, from this experience I shared with him, the Master’s fragrance become stronger and more real in my life forever.

I would also like to mention, with the same special feelings, the therapist, o terapeuta, tarologist, friend, and brother Veet Vivarta who, for over a decade of intense sharing, has turned out to be a great guide, a role-model, a master, an example, a reference, and a partner. Words can’t express how much our friendship has influenced my work and me.

I revere and thank all clients/companions and companions on this journey who, through trust and by investing energy in what I had to offer, have been building with me – and in me – much of the content that constitutes what I have become. I am especially grateful to everyone who took the time to write the testimonies about my work for this book.

As this piece mentions our inner child, I shall not neglect to mention my teachers from Elementary and High School, and also my Kindergarten teachers. The teachers I had in my hometown professores que tive em minha cidade exercised their profession with love and devotion, fully engaged in raising better and loving human beings, and they have had great influence in my learning process, in my curiosity for life and they also nurtured ways to keep my natural joy of living!

I thank my family for everything we have lived and built together. I revere my ancestry, represented here by the person who taught me the most about love, strength and faith in life, who was my maternal grandmother Dona Ayda de Souza Freitas. We lived only ten years together, until her early death; but these ten years were rather intense, in which she taught me a lot about everything I really needed to know in order to follow my path with confidence and determination.

I thank and revere my parents Magnólia de Souza Freitas and Moacyr Cesário da Silva for having offered me the best they could, and to my maternal uncles who, under my grandmother’s leadership, built a loving and rooted family space so that I, as a child, would not fear to be myself.

I have deep gratitude to my children Renata Freitas (Hasin) and Victor Freitas (Sat Avika). Nothing in life compares to what I have learned, assimilated and evolved with – and through – you. The love you get from your children when they are born and as they develop in your arms is something that cannot be described in words. I am so grateful for these 33 years (up to the moment) of motherhood and life together.

I am grateful to Rogério Lúcio Branco Ribeiro, for encouraging me almost daily, in the years we lived together, so that I could transform the knowledge I acquired over my workdays into a book. Your constant encouragement made me put energy into this project and discover a new form of pleasure and self-giving in it.

I thank Izabel Teixeira – my astrologist, friend and advisor – for her immense guidance and help in this very important moment of my life and for writing the back cover of the book.

I thank Denise Barcelos for her friendship, encouragement and contribution to this work.

I thank the couple Bruno and Duda Fabbriani for their friendship and trust, and for believing and sponsoring part of this project.

I am grateful to Flávia Portela, who had been encouraging me to write a book with the content of my work ever since she founded her publishing house, Editora Lacre.

I also thank Fátima Machado, for transcribing, with a great deal of sensitivity and respect, the content of the live videos I published in the beginning of the Covid-19 pandemic. These videos served as the basis for the development of this book.

I am grateful to Priscila Jammal for her professionalism, sensibility and lightness in the photo shooting when the cover picture was taken, turning that moment into something unique and special.

I am thankful to Anand Neerava (Mário Xavier), who came into my life as an editorial consultant and, in addition to my expectations, has become a great friend and advisor.

Finally, I would like to thank the participation of Jane Rosália do Nascimento Pessôa, Sueli Maria Clemente (Amrish Sukha) and Zina Voltis, my great friends and soul sisters, as content revisors

PREFACE

Anand Neerava (Mário Xavier)

“A tree as great as a man’s embrace springs from a small shoot;

A terrace nine stories high begins with a pile of earth;

A journey of a thousand miles starts under one’s feet.”

Lao Tzu

The search for self-knowledge and the expansion of consciousness are ancient human aspirations, which have mobilized individuals and cultures for millennia. Men and women, at different times and in different ways, have always acted on initiative and put efforts on going beyond the common place, the comfort zone and the limitations that imprison and suffocate the I, the Self, the Essence, the Presence.

In the twentieth century, in the post-industrial era and tendencies to growing globalization and massification, authors, philosophers, psychologists, systems and masters who are committed to the analysis, formulation and proposition of new paths of self-investigation and inner growth that contributed to human beings’ recovering their integral health, well-being, contentment and fulfillment from a more holistic and multidimensional point of view have emerged.

Manika Apsara, the author of How do you make decisions in life? The journey from self-conditioning to your essence, is part of a generation who was born by the end of the 60’s and grew up immersed in the question of self-discovery and social participation that focused on innovative and integrative perspectives. By the age of 17, she started a journey of learning and training that would lead her, over the years, to become one of first and most active Brazilian therapists working with the Rebirthing Techniques, Primal Therapy and Active Meditations.

Manika worked on herself based on these schools and others which led her to India and to the USA to directly access the source of specialized knowledge and be in the vanguard, through courses, trainings, and satsangs. And, about 30 years ago, she started some consistent and recognized therapeutic work – in her own office, in workshops and other activities – which has reached over 30.000 people.

The keynote of her performance is to help and encourage those who seek to settle and flow – to grow and expand – along the inner journey that starts from self-conditioning towards the essence of who we truly are!

As Lao Tzu says, “A journey of a thousand miles starts under one’s feet.” For many clients and searchers, Manika has represented this fundamental first safe, human, and professional stimulus that retrieves and irrigates the stored seeds of our Being, and contributes to building “the tower of our life” from more conscious, lucid, full, courageous, responsible decisions – that brings us more self-realization and harmony with ourselves, with the others, with the Whole.

What makes this book unique is the fact that Manika now offers to the general public, in a very original way, a compilation of her rich and comprehensive experience as a therapist for about three decades. The work is the result of her pioneering initiative – at the beginning of the pandemic, in March 2020 – to transform a series of knowledge and experiences that she had already been offering to clients in the form of thematic workshops into live broadcasts.

The contents of the workshops were transformed into 60 webinars held from March to October last year. Later, they were recorded and converted into text. The material was then carefully reviewed, edited and adapted for the book, without losing the spontaneity, fluidity and objectivity with which Manika communicated with her audience. Thus, there is this authenticity in who she is in life, when talking with her clients or seeking friends – whether in the office, in courses or in other self-knowledge and inner development activities that she has been doing for many years which has also been preserved.

According to Manika, this masterpiece is “an invitation to a personal and sincere exploration of the different levels of consciousness in which we go through life”. In my view, one of its main merits is to invite readers to dive into self-investigation hand in hand with the insights, care, delicacy and mastery of a very experienced, compassionate and didactic therapist in her approaches.

Her style mixes concepts and theoretical statements with analogies and examples that are very practical, realistic and even – sometimes – simple and humorous. However, if Manika finds it necessary, she will go straight to the point, like an arrow from a Zen archer. At other times, the author will ask questions. She asks questions. She interacts with the readers as if she were talking to them in an informal, sincere, clear way; but always aiming at clarification, instigation, awareness, and the revision of each readers’ self-conditioning and inner individual processes.

When going through the pages of How do you make decisions in life? The journey from self-conditioning to your essence, I assure you, you will be kindly and tastefully induced and encouraged to review the whole history of your life and to rethink multiple aspects involved in your upbringing – from birth to childhood, from there to adolescence, to adulthood and to current days.

It is impossible to read and to experience Manika’s speech in this work without diving into the endless journey which is the blessing and grace of self-discovery, however challenging – and even frightening – the mission is to look without fear and prejudice at our own conditioning, having the courage and wisdom to decide, after all, what we are in essence and what we truly want from our Life!

WIsh you a happy reading and a good journey, in the fraternal and joyful company of Manika Apsara!

Namaste!

TABLE OF

CONTENTS

Introduction

1.

Behavior Patterns

How to recognize and how to let go of personal vices

2.

The impulse to fulfill our needs,

the negotiations we start and the short-cuts we take to meet these needs

3.

Need for freedom,

fear of taking on responsibility or fear of growing:

what’s the real root of this impulse?

4.

Emotional maturity – How to develop this skill?

5.

Have you ever thought like a fraud?

6.

Feeling of Inadequacy – How to deal with it?

7.

Decisions and choices

Essence or self-conditioning?

Which part of you had you decided or chosen?

8.

How to deal with your fears

9.

Meditation and automated behavior

10.

Balancing the internal masculine and feminine

How to deal with masculine and feminine energies?

11.

Exploring archetypes

12.

Therapy and spirituality

Appendix

1 | Testimonials

2 | What is the Rebirthing technique and how it works

3 | About Master Osho

4 | About Manika Apsara

INTRODUCTION

Talking about self-conditioning means dealing with the conflicts that are inherent in our existence as human beings. Talking about essence is to reflect upon the fragrance of each Being. It is like talking about the unique and peculiar way that each Being has to express themselves and to collaborate with their participation in this universe. The journey from self-conditioning to essence is the journey of life itself as a whole.

The way I see it, when we incarnate, we will all embody a perfume, a purpose, a unique expression, which will be discovered, unfolded and expressed throughout life. As I learned from the eternal master Osho (for more details, check the Appendix) who I revere as the one who touched my heart and helped me see things crystal clear, life without a purpose is an empty life, a waste of time because each person is comes into this world with unique characteristics, gifts, and abilities.

Each Being is, undoubtedly, a unique flower in the universe’s garden, and as we are here to live the human, collective and interpersonal experience, we incarnate to discover and to express our fragrance and our gifts to ourselves and to other people.

The Eastern school of philosophy, more specifically the Indian philosophy, is the one. According to this school of thought, existence is a great game called Maha Leela - name in Sanskrit - where God, Atma, or the Infinite Being (as most people like to call it) exists in its eternal splendor and peace.

The schools of philosophy that have touched me most deeply and that constitute the basis of what I believe – and, consequently, lay the foundation of the work that I have developed – are the oriental schools, especially the indian tradition.

According to this line, existence is like a game called Maha Leela – name in Sanskrit –, in which God, Atman, or the Infinite Being (no matter the name one chooses) exists in eternal esplendor and peace. As in some sort of comic fun, this Infinite Being turns into billions of particles and creates the universe as we know it.

However, that happens with a very peculiar aspect in this process: everyone lives in total ignorance when it comes to their divine origin. Everyone incarnates without having a clear notion of themselves. And this way, the individual egoic experience comes up so that, at some point, on the course of its exploratory process, each particle realizes who he or she is, letting go of the illusion of separation and individuality – and gaining awareness by having a deeper perception of themselves, which is all about a total unity.

This way of perceiving reality has touched, inspired and encouraged me so that I could dive into the exploitation of my own self-conditioned behavior patterns and the definitions and systems of beliefs that had been imposing limitations – without being stopped by fear, shame or the defense mechanisms that are naturally trigger by any of us when we start a self-knowledge and self-investigation process about our behavior patterns.

It is very common to devote our attention and energy to the recognition of our qualities, abilities and usefulness, since this is how we are usually usually admired and valued. This, however, strengthens the ego and its characters. And in most cases, we get so caught up in these egoic constructions that we get so involved by them and by the characters we create and force ourselves to maintain each day.

Without realizing it, we end up moving more and more away from our hearts’ sincere motivations, from whom we essentially are. And this withdrawal, in many cases, is only felt or noticed when we are in a moment of existential crisis, when we break up a relationship, fail in a project; or even when we realize that our choices have taken us to a place or an outcome that makes no sense to our deepest happiness and fulfillment.

This way, as it is for most of us, in a moment of personal crisis, I discovered some paths that touched me in the most intimate part of my Being and I came to realize my essence by participating in this great game of life: sharing with others what has been working for me.

Mostly, the conflicts we come into, be them internal or external, are rooted in self-conditioned behavior. That happens because we only acknowledge and validate whatever is familiar to us. One of our first searches in life is the search for references that make us feel safe. We do that by instinct; very early in life we look for references that will guide our survival. As I see it, this is our kickoff in this game – Leela – on this planet.

As we seek support and security, we begin to create our first conclusions and “truths” about life and the world, which involve topics such as relationships, trust, emotional nutrition, faith and how we relate to ourselves and to others. And so we keep on playing the game as we find it necessary for our survival.

Even if the “truths” and “beliefs” that sustain us aren’t helpful anymore, or if they limit us in some way, we fight for them, we resist change, we resist whatever is unknown; we react to what is different and, in some cases, we engage in a process of denial, not realizing that we are acting based on these “truths” and “beliefs”.

The fact is that, under these circumstances, experiencing something totally unknown becomes practically impossible, as we simply cannot decipher what does not sound really familiar. So, it seems that we see the world, people, relationships and everything around us through the same glasses we use to observe our family members from the beginning of our lives – a heritage that, in short, we receive from our ancestors, generation after generation.

These collective perceptions filters make us stick to some preconceived “realities” – which, many times, prevent us from exploring totally different possibilities, simply for the fact that we ignore other forms of existing or because we ignore our abilities to experiment alternative realities.

Most of us go through our entire lives without worrying about this automatic and predictable way of “living”. Many people will actually fight with all they got so that they guarantee that “nothing” changes, because the perception that changes may mean that their survival is at risk seems real and unquestionable. And that goes beyond social, economic or any other type of status.

Less fortunate people – in terms of social, cultural or financial status – usually resist any modifications in what they consider to be the standard paradigm for they fear things might change for the worse. On the other hand, many people who are part of more privileged social classes will be afraid to question or to confront what had already been established, for the same reason: they also fear things might change for the worse, they are afraid of losing control.

It is clear that seeing things this way makes sense from the moment human life is really not really at risk or under any threat. For a part of society – unfortunately still a large part of it, both in our country and in other regions of the world – which finds itself totally involved in this struggle for survival, day after day, this reflection does not make sense, because most of these people’s attention is focused on ways to minimally guarantee the maintenance of life. The daily struggle to survive makes it very difficult to dedicate time and energy to the development of spirituality and / or to the expansion of consciousness.

In fact, from my perspective, the most common self-conditioned behaviors that most of us are trapped into are apathetic and conformist attitudes. Therefore, most people may only question or go against what has been imposed on them in moments when they feel completely suffocated, frustrated or when they seem to have reached a dead end.

There is also a group of people who were born curious and have this innate unconformity. For survival purposes, they also structure their lives based on repetitive behavioral patterns, but few uncomfortable or unhappy events are just enough to make them start questioning the beliefs they had initially absorbed into their lives.

Sometimes, what will make people step into a journey from self-conditioning to their own essence is the feeling that something is missing… a feeling of incompleteness: a natural rejection of what has been established as the “truth” and as “reality”. The sensation that something essential and meaningful is missing in their lives comes as an impulse which is stronger than any self-conditioned behavior or any reality experienced by the person up to that moment.

There are clear signs that may help people understand whether they are experiencing life through self-conditioning or through their inner and essential energy. When we live our lives based on self-conditioned behaviors, many times we just can’t explain why we have chosen to follow certain paths or why we have made certain decisions – we simply go on because that is how life works.

There may be times in which we feel so overwhelmed for sticking to those choices we have made. That’s when we feel the need to compensate for the roles we are playing, and by doing so, we end up self-sabotaging by having attitudes which are completely opposed to the roles or the characters that we insist on playing.

On the other hand, when we make choices in our lives from a conscious standpoint in which we are more connected to our real Selves, our vital energy, our will, our motivations are so real, lively and vibrant that there is no place left for doubt and we are 100% sure that we are on the right track. Our innermost feelings assure us that we are more connected to our inner strength and that is our true motivation.

This book is an invitation to an honest self-exploration process based on the several different levels of consciousness that we may experience in life. From where I stand, we begin with a more dense level of existence, based on primary needs such as survival, reproduction, power, and pleasure.

From that level, we internally sustain and put into practice the beliefs of the collective unconscious that we see as real, so we keep on acting and reacting based on these “conditioned truths’’, without any questioning or unconformity. It is just as if we are fighting to have either a dominant or dominated position – guided or led by someone else – in the game of life.

After that, we go through more subtle and flexible levels of consciousness, in which we are able to start questioning these self-imposed “rules” and we find the chance to shuffle the cards, then reconsider our choices. We gradually become more responsible for our actions and for everything around us. We become less instinctive, individualistic and competitive and we have a more collective and cooperative perception of life and the world.

In this journey from density to subtleness, we go up to a place where we find the most essential part of ourselves, where we see ourselves as Beings who are somehow away from our structural and egotic needs. We see our most sublime feelings and motivations, the noblest ones, until the moment we feel like divine Beings, in a human experience, where common sense and well-being become an internal and external reality, free from conflicts and characters.

That is not a linear, static path, and it does not follow a determined sequence. Quite the contrary… the way I experience this journey, everything is much more like a dance where we move towards a state that grants us with more clarity and consciousness, where we are amazed by the new unknown universe recently unveiled to us, we enjoy the relaxation provided by this new more expanded state of our Being.

Even after this process, we might eventually get back to an unconscious position, often completely numb again entangled in the beliefs and perceptions of the past.

This shift back to the previous state of consciousness is natural. It should not be resisted or feared, as we simply have no control over the movements of our attention, intention or perception at all times.

Meditation, breathing, yoga, as well as other techniques, are important tools so that we can detach ourselves from this automatic way of functioning. However, things should not be seen as a goal to be achieved, but as a natural journey to be experienced, explored; a journey which is rightfully ours, on which we set off when we incarnate on this planet.

Many of us will go through a lifetime without realizing the gift we have been given, which is to remember who we really are (Maha Leela), but there are those who will be willing to search for something they don’t even know what it is, but they will have this genuine feeling of restlessness that will send them effortlessly towards finding themselves.

The Author

1.

Behavior

Patterns

How to recognize and

how to let go of personal vices

For me, behavior patterns are all the repetitive and automatic ways in which we act or react towards something or someone. Ways of existing that we experience without any control or self-consciousness, and many times, we get stuck to these patterns, as if there wouldn’t be any other possible action or reaction for us. Behavior patterns are ways in which we format ourselves neglecting our free will and our reflective ability.

From my point of view, out of necessity for survival and acceptance, we create impressions about people, the universe we live, shaping the impressions of how we should act or exist – this goes on from our first contact with the outside world. In fact, most of the impressions created previously in our intrauterine life, where we perceptively interact with our mother by absorbing many of the emotions, sensations and beliefs that she supports, as well as the family scenario that unfolds throughout the pregnancy and the birth.

My conclusions come from the therapeutic methods that have influenced me the most – Rebirthing and Primal Therapy– and also from the explorations that I have been able to experience myself and with my clients, over about 30 years of practice.

Behavior patterns and ways of elaborating and changing them have been objects of exploration and research, in the field currently known as psychology, since the 6th century BC. At first, these studies and research were explored within the field of philosophy. Hippocrates, Socrates, Plato and Aristotle were some of the great precursors of this area.

From the 19th century on, psychology emerged as a scientific area, and began to be explored on an experimental basis as it started an in-depth study of the human mind. Since then, several psychological approaches have strongly emerged, such as the psychoanalysis, the psychology, the Gestalt and many other approaches that consistently collaborate with the self-discovery journey.

Much of my training was based on the therapeutic techniques I explored and developed in the mid 80s and 90s at the Osho Multiversity in Puna, India. The Rebirthing therapy, created by Leonard Orr, has also influenced me. I attended training programs on this technique conducted by Puna therapists and by Leonard.

In both situations, the intellectual perception, the body energy, and the ancestral belief systems were taken into account for the process of elaborating and letting go of such patterns, and this view made all the difference for my personal process and has led me to what I believe to be the most effective therapeutic process.

For Leonard Orr, the conclusions we draw from our first experiences in this world will lead us to our first thoughts on how to survive and how to interact in life. Going through the therapeutic process from this perspective made perfect sense to me; not only has it had effective results in changing my own patterns, but also helped my clients let go of theirs, something that, from a purely intellectual perspective, would be said to be unchangeable. As far as I can tell, processes that focus on the energy, on the emotional / or body expression, and focus on conscious breathing on exploration of the personal universe but stick to mere intellectual reflections might be quite time-consuming and even limiting, since our thoughts are “addicted” to drawing certain conclusions. It may be a long way until we find a way out of this vast labyrinth that is the human mind.

In Leonard Orr’s view, during our gestation period and in our first contacts with the outside world – at the moment of birth and from the very first hours of life –, we create the first major conclusions about ourselves and existence, life, survival, nutrition, trust, impressions of love, pain and care.

These impressions are responsible for building our first system of beliefs package, which Leonard named “personal laws”. According to Leonard, the conclusions we take from these preliminary experiences with the world will serve as the basis for our first “beliefs” on how to survive and interact in life.

Going through the therapeutic process from this perspective made perfect sense to me; not only has it had effective results in changing my own patterns, but also helped my clients let go of theirs, something that, from a purely intellectual perspective, would be said to be unchangeable.

As far as I can tell, the exploration of the personal universe through purely intellectual reflections, might be quite time-consuming and even limiting, unless we add processes that focus on the energy, on the emotional and / or body expression, and focus on conscious breathing. This tends to happen because our thoughts are “addicted” to drawing certain conclusions. Consequently, it may be a long way until we find a way out of this vast labyrinth that is the human mind.

What I learned and developed in the therapeutic classes of the Osho Multiversity, and all the personal and professional growth I achieved with Osho’s active meditation practices – have enriched my perception of how patterns of behavior are deeply rooted in ourselves in the form of suppressed energy.

The need for acceptance and inclusion and the subsequent conclusions make us create bonds and impose control over our vital energy. We prevent ourselves from acting naturally at the slightest sign that we may bother or annoy someone. We start living as if playing the role of different characters we come up with in life, but these characters do not represent who we really are.

A person who is no longer chained to the beliefs developed, due to the need for acceptance, inclusion and survival, comes into contact with his/her vital and creative energy flow – with his or her original “Self”, the Superior “I”, Conscious, or whatever you may call it.

In fact, from what I have explored over the years, behavior is not just a psychological issue. It is also a biochemical issue. The repetition of behaviors conditions our brain. And a conditioned brain is addicted to functioning a certain way. This means that our perception is already very narrow and conditioned to what we believe to be true, be it real or unreal to other people.

We always look for what we are familiar with or agree with. Whatever is related to what is known and comfortable, even if it is something you dislike, ends up being processed faster in case it can be safely recognized.

Over the years, I have drawn some analogies which I use in my work to exemplify my perception of how a Being, who recently became part of a family structure, builds his or her thoughts and beliefs. I usually say that when we are born, we are like a curious spectator, watching a play that has been playing at the theater for many years. By analogy, the play corresponds to your parents’ and family’s relationships.

Usually, we don’t take time to assess life from this perspective, but the fact is that your family had already existed as a working system before you were born. Their habits, rules and roles had been completely pre-established before you were born. Everything had been structured in a very specific way, with its own way of functioning. Then you arrive... from now on the analogy with the play will be quite useful to understand what I intend to exemplify.

Let’s take Romeo and Juliet as an example for it is a timeless masterpiece. You watch it, like its romantic essence, you want that for your life and decide to be part of this theater company. As it is not clear to you which roles are available, you pay attention and start looking for the role you could play well within that plot because, from your point of view, there will be a spot for you to fill up.