Is the Baw Burst? E-Book

Iain Hyslop

• Herausgeber: Luath Press
• Kategorie: Lebensstil
• Serie: Is the Baw Burst?
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 334

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2013

Beschreibung

In May 2009, the SFA commissioned a review of Scottish football. In December 2010, the second and final part of the review, penned by former first minister Henry McLeish, was unveiled. Iain Hyslop read this review, and felt that it omitted several key points, so he embarked on journey which would take him to 44 football matches, from Peterhead to Berwick and Dingwall to Dumfries, across a single season. His travels have led to the production of this book — the unofficial review of Scottish Football. He covers everything from the weather to the pies, giving comments, criticism and suggestions for improvement as the voice from the terraces. The focus here is on the fans' experience of a football match. Hyslop takes a step back from the political and financial issues which engulf Scottish Football to present his vision of the beautiful game as it should be. REVIEW: In the book, Iain looks at the histroy of Scottish football, falling attendances, crumbling stadiums, the pies, the fans and the changes that need to be made. SUNDAY MAIL Has Iain Hyslop got some news for you: Scottish football is not as broken as many people think it is. It is, though, in need of some urgent love, care and attention. SCOTSMAN BACK COVER: 1 football fan 1 football season 42 football grounds Written by a football fan, for football fans, this is the unofficial review of the state of Scottish football. Spotting sizable gaps in the review by former First Minister Henry McLeish, Iain Hyslop provides a detailed look at the beautiful game in Scotland. Every Scottish league ground is visited in a 44 game tour that samples the football, the stadiums, the finances and the pies! Each chapter covers a game from the 2011 season and portrays the experience in a friendly, casual style that resonates with supporters from all over the country. Does Scottish football have a future or is the baw burst?

Leseprobe

IAIN HYSLOP was born in Glasgow and now lives in Ayrshire. He served an apprenticeship in the Clyde Shipyards and currently works in health and safety. He is a graduate of the Open University and Strathclyde University. A lifelong football fan, he has followed the national team at home and abroad. In Is the Baw Burst?Volume Two, the Rangers Edition, he chronicles Rangers’ first months in the Third Division and continues to take the pulse of Scottish football.

The story continues…

Is the Baw Burst?

A Long-Suffering Supporter’s Search for the Soul of Scottish Football

IAIN HYSLOP

LuathPress Limited

EDINBURGH

www.luath.co.uk

First published 2012

Reprinted 2012

eBook 2012

ISBN (print): 978-1-908373-22-9

ISBN (eBook): 978-1-909912-13-7

The author’s right to be identified as author of this book under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 has been asserted.

Text and photographs © Iain Hyslop 2012

To my wife, mum (we all still miss you very much), and the rest of family

Contents

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

INTRODUCTION

GAME

1 Here We Go, Here We Go, Here We Go!

THE HONEST MEN V THE CITY

2 All is Not Well with the Pies

THE STEELMEN V THE HIBEES

3 The Flow Must Go On

THE BULLY WEE V THE BORDERERS

4 The Spiders that Never Tried

THE SPIDERS V THE BORDERERS

5 Caravan Blues

THE BLUES V THE SPIDERS

6 The Battle of Britain

THE RED DEVILS V THE GERS

7 Taking Stock in Cowden

THE BLUE BRAZIL V THE DEE

8 Hammering the Pars

THE DOONHAMERS V THE PARS

9 The Beautiful Game

SCOTLAND V SPAIN

10 No Fight from the Warriors

LIVI LIONS V THE WARRIORS

11 Sterling in Stirling

THE BINOS V THE JAGS

12 Killie-ing the Atmosphere

THE JAM TARTS V KILLIE

13 The Budding Buddies

THE BUDDIES V THE GERS

14 A Programme to Remember

THE DIAMONDS V LIVI LIONS

15 Standing Ovation

THE WASPS V THE ROVERS

16 Referee, Is the Baw Burst?

KILLIE V THE DONS

17 No Steak Pies Here, We’re Fifers!

THE PARS V THE DOONHAMERS

18 Don Over

THE ACCIES V THE DONS

19 Officer: ‘I’m an Honest Man, honestly.’

THE HIBEES V THE HONEST MEN

20 Stadium Deelema

THE DEE V THE WELL

21 Junkyard Rovers

THE WEE ROVERS V THE GABLE ENDIES

22 Artificially Beautiful

THE WARRIORS V THE DIAMONDS

23 Cappielower

THE TON V THE STAGGIES

24 Tangerine Dreams

THE ARABS V THE HIBEES

25 Parking Penalties

THE BAIRNS V THE TON

26 A Gala Day in Annan for the Albion

THE GALABANKIES V THE WEE ROVERS

27 Midweek Madness

THE SONS V THE BLUE TOON

28 Sons Miss the Connection at Station Park

THE LOONS V THE SONS

29 Shire Cuckoos Clocked at Ochilview

THE SHIRE V THE GABLE ENDIE

30 Bear Necessities at Quiet Ibrox

THE GERS V KILLIE

31 Borderers Overcome the Spiders’ Web

THE BORDERERS V THE SPIDERS

32 Livi Roar in Fife

THE FIFERS V LIVI LIONS

33 Parry Parry Night

THE STAGGIES V THE PARS

34 Missing Links for Elgin

THE GABLE ENDIES V THE BLACK & WHITES

35 Early KOs not OK

THE SAINTS V THE GERS

36 Hot in the City for Brechin

THE CITY V THE FIFERS

37 A Jag Fae the Bairns

THE JAGS V THE BAIRNS

38 Smokin’ in Arbroath

THE RED LICHTIES V THE SPIDERS

39 Toon are Doon

THE BLUE TOON V THE FIFERS

40 Clyde in Briggs Triumph

THE BLACK & WHITES V THE BULLY WEE

41 Hammer Blow at the San Starko

THE ROVERS V THE DOONHAMERS

42 Spring Encounter, Very Few Arabs

THE TIC V THE ARABS

43 Sheepish Performance from the Dons

THE DONS V THE SAINTS

44 No Highland Fling for Hibs

CALEY THISTLE V THE HIBEES

THE WAY AHEAD?

Acknowledgements

A big thank you to everyone at Luath Press who are a very friendly, helpful and knowledgeable group of people. Special thanks to Jennie for her gracious assertiveness that was essential in pulling everything together.

Thanks to Paul Martin for giving me an insight into life at the Rovers, to family and friends who assisted and encouraged me to write up my musings, and to my wife Debbi for putting up with all of this for the past two years. I am looking forward to much more time together.

Introduction

Welcome to Is The Baw Burst? This is a journey through Scottish football – the unofficial review. Yes, we’ve had the official one, in two parts, compiled by former First Minister Henry McLeish. This one is less formal, compiled by a football fan. Firstly, there was the fieldwork, 44 games attended in one season. The findings were analysed and the review developed with further research, scrutiny and comment on the dynamic, ever-changing Scottish football scene – there’s a lot to discuss.

The catalyst was the official review, which I read whilst on holiday in Florida (anything to avoid another theme park). In my opinion, it missed some key points, particularly relating to the supporters who are the lifeblood of the game. McLeish set out to look at the state of the game from grassroots to professional level. And yes, he produced a fairly comprehensive review, much of which I agree with. He reported on youth development, facilities and resources, analysed the way players are nurtured, examined coaching techniques and football structures. He tried to bring all the elements together and see how the relationships worked or didn’t work.

But the official report left me asking, what about the guys that go to the games every week? What’s it like for us? What changes do we want? And so I decided to have a look for myself and find out if the baw was really burst.

I’d always wanted to go round every stadium in Scotland, so now was the time to go for it as I could think of no better way to get a feel for the game in this country. When I was a wee boy, I’d always watch the Saturday afternoon football shows on TV. I’d sit mesmerised as the scores came in listing teams from places like Forfar and Stenhousemuir that seemed strange and distant, not to mention the mysterious Queen of the South. ‘Where are Morton and Clyde?’ I would wonder. ‘Are these Rovers from Albion a football team or a type of car?’

My journey through Scottish football took me to all the senior grounds. I visited every club side in the four top divisions in Scotland, attended one Champions League match at Old Trafford and watched Scotland versus world champions Spain at Hampden. Over 7,500 miles were travelled, 43 programmes purchased and 40 steak pies devoured – usually washed down with a Bovril. Nearly £700 was laid out on match tickets. Add petrol and other incidentals and the total cost exceeded £2,500.

I watched the games with another 310,791 supporters (216,746 being at just four games – Celtic Park, Ibrox, Hampden and Old Trafford). Hampden was visited twice (Queen’s Park and Scotland) as was Ochilview, due to the ground-sharing arrangement between Stenhousemuir and East Stirlingshire.

I had intended to visit as many grounds as I could for the typical Saturday 3pm kick off and calculated this as a possibility over the course of a season. I knew it would be a tight schedule and other factors, including postponements, weather and personal commitments had an impact, so it turned out that many of the matches I attended were midweek and on Sundays. That made for an even broader review.

At every game I took notes, photographs and recordings on my iPhone. I usually travelled by car and more often than not, alone. Four of the games involved an overnight stay and some weekends I attended two games. Towards the end of the season I usually had a midweek fixture to attend due to postponements caused by weather conditions – winter 2010/11 is one of the worst I can remember and it completely changed my perspective on when we should play football in this country.

I tried to get as good a feel for each stadium as possible. I listened to football shows on the radio going to and from the games, read the programmes and tried to complete my notes as soon as possible after a match.

Some of my conclusions were reached pretty quickly while others developed over time. I have aimed for an impartial perspective of the game in Scotland. My questions and recommendations express my own thoughts and often they reflect the strongly-held views of the majority of my fellow Scottish football supporters. Some are controversial. All are worth thought and debate.

Despite the ongoing talk about league reconstruction and other possible changes, things have remained the same for far too long. Season 2011/12 began in customary fashion with numerous early exits from European tournaments; Scotland failed to qualify for the European Championships – business as usual. And then, early in February 2012, Rangers FC went into administration; the fans are outraged – the so-called leaders have let us down again. It is thought that the fans’ season ticket money for the next four years has been used to clear legacy debt. The club face being barred from European competitions for some time and, as I write, the SFA have announced a year-long embargo on Rangers buying new players; add to the mix the likely outcome that Celtic will have a stranglehold on the game in this country for years to come, and it all makes for grim reading, not only for Rangers fans but for the chasing pack as well. The media feeding frenzy continues unabated. There is general disbelief that it could have got this bad for Rangers and for the Scottish game. Yet the warning signs have been around for years, just ask the fans of Dundee, Motherwell, Livingston – and Gretna, remember them? Look south to Portsmouth and Port Vale. Is it really that much of a shock? Anyway, we are where we are – the talking continues and season 2011/12 will be remembered for all the wrong reasons.

I decided to head along to Ibrox for the first game played after the club went into the hands of the administrators. Last time I experienced an ‘administration’ game was at Dens Park which was genuinely quite humbling. The fans are always at the crux of these matters and Rangers versus Kilmarnock was no different. At Ibrox the house was full and the talking continued long into the evening. Very little was football-related – it was all business, finance and blame.

One thing is for sure – football has to wake up to reality and get its house in order. Brave decisions must be taken and followed through. Surely this warning cannot be ignored. Huge changes are needed.

Financial problems, falling attendances, poor quality football, crumbling stadiums, terrible catering… is the picture really as bad as it’s painted? Time to have a look. My review starts at Somerset Park and finishes at the Caledonian Stadium. I travelled through one of the worst winters in living memory, ate dodgy pies and listened to stories of death threats and bullets in the post. Along the way I encountered the world champions, the blue Brazil, ‘lesser’ Firs Park and an eerily empty Hampden, populated only by a few hundred Spiders. I’ve recorded arguments aplenty, cheeky comments and thumbnail match reports.

Things were gloomy back in August 2010 when this journey started. Issues like the credit crunch, annual failures on the European stage and the seemingly ever more prosperous English leagues were having an impact on Scottish football. Interest was waning and the fans were grumbling. The SFA were under increasing pressure to update its antiquated articles of association and conflict between the three organisations controlling the game (SFA, SPL and SFL) was commonplace. Supporters were crying out for league reconstruction, better representation at the clubs and more say in the overall running of the game – deep-rooted problems.

The research has continued ever since. A notable highlight was a chance meeting at Luton Airport with the Albion Rovers Manager Paul Martin. He gave me an invaluable insight into the game in the lower leagues. Further meetings and conversations revealed much about the struggles that these clubs face on a day-to-day basis. In fact, it’s so far removed from the glamorous product shown constantly on TV, you could be forgiven for thinking it’s a different sport – but that is the reality of the game in Scotland.

There is hope though, and it’s worth noting that there is much going on behind the scenes. The youth set-ups and academies are a real shining light, the women’s game is thriving and the national side is full of promising young players.

I learned a lot about the game in this country and have substance to back up my arguments. This book is for every football fan in the country to read and enjoy – and decide if the baw is burst or not. Game on!

1 - THE HONEST MEN V THE CITY

Here We Go, Here We Go, Here We Go!

SATURDAY 7 AUGUST 2010, decision day. I had been thinking about this moment for months – with good reason, as this project was going to take up most of my free time for the next year or two and place unknown strains on my life.

But first of all the morning was busy with my usual Saturday stuff – cycling to Troon and back, a visit to the baker’s for rolls and cakes, breakfast, reading papers, dog walking and betting – Saturday is definitely my favourite day of the week. Around 11.30 I decided to go for it and head along to Somerset Park for the 3 o’clock kick off. Suddenly I was tingling with anticipation at the prospect of starting my review of the state of Scottish football, and a visit to every stadium in the country – in what I hoped would turn out to be one of the great adventures of my life.

A quick Google search revealed that the ground was 2.3 miles from my Prestwick home. I hopped onto a No. 14 bus, disembarked just before ‘Tam’s Brig’ and set off towards the old-fashioned floodlights, a sight once commonplace in Scotland’s towns and cities.

My career as a football supporter has generally been as an afficionado of the big games, Ibrox, Hampden and Parkhead being my most common destinations, as well as some of the more famous stadiums in England and Europe. Over the years I have visited a number of smaller grounds as well, but for someone who particularly relishes Old Firm and Champions League games, walking up to Somerset Park that day was a very quiet affair. In front of me on McCall’s Avenue were a dad and two boys; behind me was the loner with the Ayr United scarf who’d been on the bus. Not exactly a mass of people heading for the ground on the opening day of the season. Still, it was too early to pass judgement. I had to go with the flow and take in as much as possible.

First impressions are important. I had to look twice as I passed a turnstile section and a hospitality car park. Both areas looked like derelict factory entrances choked with weeds and rubbish. As I progressed towards the main entrance the situation was depressingly similar. My gloom was interrupted by a young vendor who presented me with the day’s official match programme. He hurriedly gave me £2 change from a fiver (I later realised that he should have given me £3 change). There were a few people hanging around outside the main doorway, the club shop and at the entrances to the turnstiles marked ‘Season Tickets Holders’. I wandered around for a while, taking some photographs and trying to fathom the attraction of coming to a place like this on my precious Saturday.

Too much thinking, just get in and see what’s on offer, I told myself. I chose an empty turnstile to the left of the main door, walked straight in and handed over £20. The woman behind the grille smiled and swiftly produced a fiver from her money pouch. I didn’t ask for a receipt or ticket and neither were forthcoming, so I clicked my way through the gate and into Somerset Park for the first time since the ’70s. During one of our annual family summer sorties to our caravan at Croy Bay, my dad had met up with a work colleague who was an ‘Honest Man’ and they’d taken me along to an incredible match against Celtic. If my memory serves me correctly (I can’t find the result online), Ayr United won 3-2. I got a bag of chips, the old man had a couple of pints with his mate and then we headed back along the coast road to continue our holiday – fantastic.

As I climbed up the stairs, I could see that Somerset Park had changed very little in 30-odd years since my last visit. I paused to get my bearings, located the toilets and the pie stall, and then headed out into the Main Stand. The beautifully manicured pitch was bathed in sunshine. Players from both teams were doing their warm-up exercises – as was the PA announcer, who was waxing lyrical about various promotions associated with the local community and the club. I made for the back row, sat down and took in the antiquated surroundings – Somerset Park stadium is definitely on its last legs.

The surrounding seats slowly filled with diehards, a blind chap and players from the Brechin City squad. Ayr United legend Henry Templeton took a seat right in front of me. Bunting tape separated the 100 or so away support from the rest, a couple of eagle-eyed stewards presiding over the segregation measures. Moderate applause greeted the teams as they ran out onto the sun-kissed turf; another SFL season was about to begin.

The game was lively enough, considering it was the first of the season. Brechin always tried to play football, which was refreshing. As for Ayr, not much to shout about for a team that had played at a higher level the previous year – there certainly wasn’t a division of a difference between the teams. The game passed quickly and at the half-time whistle I set off to sample some of the local produce. The courteous staff, beavering away in their dilapidated hidey-hole, were seemingly oblivious to their surroundings. I thought back to my recent trip to America and the glaring differences at point of sale. However, steak pie and Bovril purchased, I returned to my seat, devoured my tasty snack and readied myself for the second period.

The second half was enjoyable and the home support even managed a song midway through. One or two players were really starting to stand out and were dictating just about every aspect. Others looked to be tiring but the game remained interesting until the final whistle ended it, drawing groans from the home support and lots of cheering from the far travelled ‘City’ fans.

A lot to think about as I retraced my steps back to the bus stop. Had I enjoyed my experience enough to come here again? Would children and teenagers enjoy an afternoon at Somerset Park? What did the future hold for Ayr United? I decided to hone my thoughts over a few beers and got off the bus at the stop nearest to the Central Bar in Prestwick… ‘Pint of Tennent’s, please.’

The sun always shines at Somerset

In a town with a population of nearly 50,000 you would expect a healthier support than 1,212 at the start of a season – particularly given that Kilmarnock, the nearest senior club and main rival to Ayr United, is a good 15 miles away. Surely Ayr United, located as it is in football mad Ayrshire, should be the pinnacle of football, at least for South Ayrshire. Every local boy and girl should dream of pulling on the colours and walking out in front of friends and family.

Unfortunately for Ayr, Ayr United and the surrounding area, the Somerset Park environment is not very appealing. Where’s the inspiration in an old stadium surrounded by derelict buildings and railway lines. Is it the type of place you would want your kids to go along to? The stadium seems stuck in a time warp, waiting for someone to turn the lights off for good.

But does that have to be the shape of things to come? Just along the road at Craigie is the new £70 million Ayr Campus of the University of the West of Scotland. It was still under construction at the time of my visit to Somerset Park and opened in August 2011. It has excellent transport links to the town centre and major road networks. You would think that someone would have recognised this as an ideal opportunity to put the club at the heart of the local community by involving the football club in the development and investigating the possibilities of shared usage of sports facilities and the potential for exploring business opportunities. Surely the Ayr United Football Academy (which is a real shining light for the club) would benefit from this kind of infrastructure.

But we are where we are and the fans will need to put up with Somerset for the foreseeable future. The Academy set-up is encouraging though. This looks like the way forward for clubs and communities alike. The stakeholders include NHS, South Ayrshire Council, Ayr College and the football club. The initiatives are all centred on using football to improve the lives and health of the people in South Ayrshire and this will hopefully benefit the club long term as well. The downside is that the soccer scholarships are based in the USA – it would be great if we could offer them here in Scotland.

My first impressions of Ayr United weren’t favourable, primarily due to Somerset Park. It would be so nice to go for a walk along the River Ayr and then head into a modern arena to enjoy some refreshments and watch the football. The evident lack of investment in the stadium over the years is short-sighted, not to mention disrespectful to the fans. However, the focus on the Academy is encouraging and, importantly, the whole community stands to benefit from that.

Quote of the day –The Wife: ‘Has it went to extra time?’

GAME - AYR UNITED VERSUS BRECHIN CITY

DIVISION- SFL 2

DATE- SAT 7 AUGUST 2010, KO 3PM

VENUE- SOMERSET PARK, ATTENDANCE 1,212

SCORE - 0-2

MATCH STATS:

HTTP://WWW.SCOTTISHFOOTBALLLEAGUE.COM/FOOTBALL/SECOND/RESULTS/3285841/

2 - THE STEELMEN V THE HIBEES

All is Not Well with the Pies

ANOTHER LOVELY DAY, perfect for the beach or other outdoor activities. But there I was, heading up the M77 for Motherwell and a taste of SPL action. Today’s midday kick off was something I had experienced on only a couple of occasions before as a supporter and as an armchair fan (or bar stool fan, to be precise) and I didn’t find it particularly appealing. Today was different. For one thing there would be no alcohol involved as I was driving and also suffering a touch from the previous day’s excesses at a wedding at Ayr Racecourse. I fully intended to choose 3pm Saturday games wherever possible but with a tight schedule to adhere to over the season, the inclusion of a couple of Sunday games and some midweek fixtures would be necessary but would also broaden the scope of the review.

About an hour later, I parked on George Street. I turned left onto Manse Road and headed towards the sets of floodlights similar to the ones at Somerset Park. I had frequented Fir Park on and off over the years as an old friend was a Well supporter and he used to drag me along. I was present at the now famous 1991 Scottish Cup Final victory over Dundee United at Hampden, stuff of legend for a small provincial club like Motherwell. It had been a few years since I’d been back. I was looking forward to seeing the young Motherwell team. They had had a wonderful 2009/10 season, successfully securing a European place and – more importantly – flying the flag by negotiating the qualifying rounds so far, a feat that neither Celtic or Hibs managed in their respective competitions this week. ’Mon the Well!

The residential streets were strangely quiet until the junction of Manse Road and Edward Street. From this point onwards it started to feel more like going to a football match. I carried on up past the Fir Park Social Club and towards the ticket office nestled between the Davie Cooper and Phil O’Donnell stands, which almost touch, two names from opposing sides of the Old Firm remembered here without any prejudice by the Steel Men. It was the first time I’d been at the ground since Phil’s tragic death and I was pleased that they had named a stand after him. And Cooper, a traditional winger, had been an outrageously skilful footballer. The more I thought about it, the more I felt that we’d not seen the like since. Why we don’t encourage, coach and nurture people to fulfil that role is a mystery to me.

I wandered round the stadium in amongst the home and away fans, then headed up towards the main road. The stadium is close to the town centre, which has good transport links, rail and motorway networks – the type of infrastructure you would expect in and around big towns. In terms of industry, few Scottish towns were bigger than Motherwell; in its heyday it was a real industrial powerhouse. What came first, the stadium or the houses and school and college buildings surrounding it? Probably the former, and therein lies one of the club’s main problems. It would be difficult to expand or alter the facility in its present location unless there was some serious co-ordination with the adjacent educational establishments. Perhaps some sort of collaboration has been suggested and turned out not to be feasible, leaving the club to concentrate on what they’ve got. It would be so good, though, to see a load of training pitches and other sports and leisure facilities for the community, with the stadium as the jewel in the crown, but for the foreseeable future it looks as if the good people of Motherwell will have to put up with four ill-assorted stands, each completely different from the rest.

Twenty-five quid in hand, I went through under a sign displaying £22, which looked as though it had been overpainted recently, and up into the Phil O’Donnell Stand via the snack bar, where I paid £1.70 for a Coke. My chosen seat had no back and was to the rear of the stand. Behind me in the press gantry the hacks were already in place, laptops open and primed for action. The tannoy was blasting out pop music which was intermittently interrupted by offers of club merchandise – including seats on the club charter flight to Denmark. All very encouraging, but I couldn’t help feeling that, considering their recent achievements, there should have been a better buzz about the place. Had the midday kick off put off some punters, I wondered, but not for long. The 5,000 plus attendance, announced during the game, was similar to the previous two seasons’ average gates. I was experiencing a typical SPL game without any of the big two – so much quieter.

’Mon the Well

I thought back to the previous week’s game and Ayr United in general. Motherwell has approximately 15,000 less of a population than Ayr, has more clubs close by that you could class as serious opposition and has suffered more than most in terms of manufacturing decline. Yet, when it comes to the beautiful game, the Steelmen are in much better shape than their coastal cousins. Why are Ayr United in such a lowly position?

A strange delay followed the ball being placed in the centre spot – one can only assume this was down to the live TV coverage and the referee awaiting a signal to proceed. Eventually we were off. The game was noticeably quicker than last week’s Second Division encounter. The players looked taller, faster and, stating the obvious here, fitter due to their full-time status. The game was reasonably balanced in the first half. Motherwell were typically well organised with Hibs offering a touch more flair. One or two quality ball players make all the difference and Hibs had Miller and Riordan continually seeking to be creative. The half finished even at 1-1. Pie and Bovril time.

I joined a queue adjacent to the main staircase, which was also on the main passageway to the Gents. The queue was extremely slow moving and people were starting to get agitated. I reached the counter after about ten minutes and placed my order. The supervisor was busy piercing pies with a thermometer and relaying a ‘not ready’ message to the rest of the staff. Incredibly, they had no pies ready for the half-time rush and yet the staff lacked any urgency. Scotland completely bewilders me sometimes. After another couple of minutes, the pies reached the desired temperature and I purchased a Chapman’s creation (nothing else on offer) and a Bovril, and hurried back to my pew. The pie was served on a small paper plate and as I lifted it to my mouth at a slight angle, a stream of grease engulfed the crotch area of my khaki-coloured trousers – wonderful. The pie was disgusting, most was discarded, but the Bovril was excellent. My experience so far, not including fuel, had cost £30 and I would now have a dry cleaning bill as well.

Second half under way, both teams going for it. At last, some banter from the fans. The Hibees lot had more to shout about after another couple of good goals hit the back of the Well net. The managers introduced a few subs, the referee made some dodgy decisions, Motherwell got a penalty and the match was by and large exciting up to the final whistle. The Motherwell fans, a good mixture of young and old, male and female, had started leaving before the end and this seemed to contribute to the noise the few hundred Hibees were making. Game over.

As I drove home I recalled former Motherwell manager Terry Butcher complaining of a general lack of facilities. I’m assuming he meant indoor facilities, as there is an abundance of outdoor stuff in Strathclyde Park which is nearby. Henry McLeish’s official review of Scottish football highlights many shortfalls in this respect. But as there are many facilities available, particularly in schools and colleges, it seems to me that the problem lies primarily with accessibility. Having said that, I’m not altogether convinced that quality facilities alone would, of themselves, transform the game – did we have any ‘quality facilities’ in the ’50s and ’60s?

What would improve the game throughout Scotland is more interaction with the fans and local communities. Like Ayr United, the Steelmen have a strong presence in the local community with various initiatives such as Soccer Schools, health and wellbeing guidance and lifelong learning. Another interesting development is the recently established Well Society, created using shares donated by the former Chairman, John Boyle. This bold scheme aims to empower the fans and to ensure that, among other things, the club is run as a community asset, grows sustainably and plays at the highest levels possible without the risk of administration. There are varying levels of membership – all the information is available online. James McFadden, one of several former player helping to promote the scheme, tell fans: ‘You can help secure the future of the club by joining up now. It’s your opportunity to have a say in how our club is run.’

All very encouraging – the club trying to grow organically within the locale and bring everyone else along with them. The constraints of the stadium could be overcome through building more liaisons with the neighbours. Where there’s a will, there’s a way.

Quote of the day–The wife: ‘Why haven’t you ticked all the boxes beside the squad lists on the back of the programme?’ There’s only11in each team, darling!

GAME - MOTHERWELL VERSUS HIBS

DIVISION - PREMIER

DATE - SUN 15 AUGUST 2010, KO 12PM

VENUE - FIR PARK , ATTENDANCE 5,172

SCORE - 2-3

MATCH STATS:

HTTP://WWW.SCOTPREM.COM/CONTENT/DEFAULT.ASP?PAGE=S27_1_1&WORKINGDATE=2010-8-15

3 - THE BULLY WEE V THE BORDERERS

The Flow Must Go On

CONFUSION REIGNED IN the Hyslop household. Youngest boy, an 11-month-old Tibetan terrier, was getting his haircut and wasn’t due out of the clippers until 1.15, seriously curtailing my options of making a game. Compounding the situation, I had foolishly said to my wife that I could drop her at her my sister’s – if, and only and if, I decided to go to Broadwood and take in Clyde v Berwick Rangers. My other option, Morton, disappeared when the clipper announced that the pup would not be ready until after one, so the decision was that the Bully Wee would have an extra spectator. It’s no’ easy getting to the football every week.

At 2.50 I pulled up in front of Broadwood to enquire about the parking arrangements and a young steward gave me a comprehensive set of directions to the away car park. I could have done with the shorter version. Despite my concerns about being late, within five minutes I was parked and walking towards the Main Stand (the other two were closed and where the fourth stand should be was a leisure centre). I purchased a programme (excellent quality and value), tried to go in a turnstile at the ‘Berwick end’ but was directed away by a steward who somehow knew I wasn’t from south of the border. I then tried to go in through the ‘accompanied persons’ section before being directed to the ‘adults only’ opening where I paid my £10 and noisily clicked through the revolving bars and into the stadium for the first time in over five years.

I thought back to my first game here. The great Manchester United had been the visitors with Giggs, Scholes, Rooney et al strutting their stuff and running out easy winners. However, I will always remember Clyde’s performance that day. The bunch of trialists flung together by Graham Roberts and Joe Miller put up an incredible show against the premiership big boys, much to the delight of the Broadwood faithful. What a difference five years makes.

I climbed up a few flights of stairs, made my way along some passageways and emerged into the blustery air. The stand was busy enough, which certainly contributed to the atmosphere, although there were less than a thousand people in the ground – the lively mood was down to the one-stand arrangement. There were lots of grandads, dads and sons in the crowd, many of them munching on pies and hot dogs which looked very tasty.

There was an energetic start to the game. I’d been expecting plenty of goals in the lower league matches – the tactical battles that you get with the ‘big boys’ don’t seem to materialise and the teams look to be going for a win, which is refreshing. None of this sitting back, soaking up the pressure, hoping to get a sneaky breakaway.

As the game raged on, I kept being distracted by the stewards. Not that they were annoying or anything. On the contrary, they were proficient, smartly dressed, courteous and hard-working, easily the most professional that I had come across for some time – I wondered if they were council employees? Overall, the set-up was very good and this impression was enhanced at half time by the swift service at the modern snack bar and ad hoc units selling hot dogs. Pie (steak) and Bovril, both good, were demolished quickly enough to allow time for a browse through the programme and it was good to see that there was involvement with local youth clubs. I checked the rest of scores on the iPhone and then the game resumed. I was enjoying my day.

Unfortunately, the diehard Bully Wee fans were not. From Clyde’s point of view, the equaliser that should have been built on just after half time was quickly eradicated from the minds of the faithful as Berwick took advantage of sloppy defending and rattled in another three goals. The game was over with about 20 minutes to go and the Bully Wee fans’ criticism of the players was incessant. My awareness of this might have been down to the fact that everyone was housed in the same stand, and there could well have been more derogatory comments at the two other matches, particularly from the terraces, which used to be infamous for the more vociferous types. As the dejected Bully Wee fans started leaving the stand, the jubilant cries of the far-travelled away fans rose in volume. They, at least, were enjoying themselves, and all credit to them. The final whistle was met with a chorus of boos.

The route back to the car took me past numerous artificial pitches, all being used by local youths. This was encouraging, as not only were they playing football but many of them had evidently cycled there as well. I wondered how many people from the modern housing estates that surround the stadium actually came to support the team, and how this compared with years gone by when they played at Shawfield within a sprawl of tenement communities and pubs.

Exiting the car park was well managed with stewards on hand if required. It occurred to me that I had seen no police presence in or around the ground.

As I joined the flow of traffic heading towards Glasgow, I noticed numerous new housing estates and industrial units had sprung up close to the ground. I’m sure that the development of this new community will continue apace now that the A80 has finally been upgraded to motorway status. Will the football club be at the heart of this new community? That certainly should be the aim.

Henry McLeish’s review identifies lack of facilities as a serious shortfall in Scottish football. For Clyde, the facilities look to be in place with potential for further development, and not many Scottish clubs have this luxury. The club’s well-documented financial difficulties have contributed to its freefall through the divisions – good facilities alone will not preserve a club. Lack of quality on the park is also an issue here and this will not be an overnight fix. However, the infrastructure is in place, which is crucial, and seems to be developing, which is encouraging. Many other Scottish football clubs must be in envy of Clyde’s set-up. That’s why it’s difficult to understand the talk of them leaving Broadwood – to go where? Rutherglen is the club’s traditional heartland, and indeed the Southside Branch of the Clyde FC School of Football is based there, so it would seem an obvious choice; but unfortunately a purpose-built stadium is lacking, unlike here at Broadwood on the outskirts of Cumbernauld.

Broadwood – Home of the Bully Wee