Key To Stress Free Living - Dr. Jyotsna Codaty - E-Book

Key To Stress Free Living E-Book

Dr. Jyotsna Codaty

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Beschreibung

Steps to keep you relaxed, fresh and stress-free

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© Copyright: ISBN 978-935-05726-2-7

DISCLAIMER

While every attempt has been made to provide accurate and timely information in this book, neither the author nor the publisher assumes any responsibility for errors, unintended omissions or commissions detected therein. The author and publisher make no representation or warranty with respect to the comprehensiveness or completeness of the contents provided.

All matters included have been simplified under professional guidance for general information only without any warranty for applicability on an individual. Any mention of an organization or a website in the book by way of citation or as a source of additional information doesn't imply the endorsement of the content either by the author or the publisher. It is possible that websites cited may have changed or removed between the time of editing and publishing the book.

Results from using the expert opinion in this book will be totally dependent on individual circumstances and factors beyond the control of the author and the publisher.

It makes sense to elicit advice from well informed sources before implementing the ideas given in the book. The reader assumes full responsibility for the consequences arising out from reading this book. For proper guidance, it is advisable to read the book under the watchful eyes of parents/guardian. The purchaser of this book assumes all responsibility for the use of given materials and information. The copyright of the entire content of this book rests with the author/publisher. Any infringement/ transmission of the cover design, text or illustrations, in any form, by any means, by any entity will invite legal action and be responsible for consequences thereon.

CONTENTS

Preface

1. The Beginning

2. Types of Stress

3. The Stages of Stress

4. Causes of Stress

5. Coping with Stress

6. Recognising Stress

7. Combatting Stress

8. Finding the Time

9. Stress and Children

10. Stress and Indian Women

11. Overseas Stress

12. Stress and Retirement

13. Stress and Superstition

14. Stress at Workplace

15. Stress and your Financial Portfolio

16. Stress between Husband and Wife

17. Stress and Illness

18. Techniques to bust your stress

DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to my family who put upwith me in my times of stress, to my many friendswho helped me at every step and to my readerswho I hope, will SMILE!

PREFACE

This book is a happy book.

This book is about enjoying life.

This book is about making choices.

At the same time, it is important to acknowledge thatnot all of lifes outcomes are chosen. The attempt is tomake clear what people can control andwhat they cannot.The theme of this book is:That a persons state of health is, to a greatextent, his own responsibility.

To create awareness, so that lifestylechoices can be made.To emphasise that problems are not common to allindividuals, as the reactions to them are notObviously, the solutions are a matter ofchoice. There are no definiteblack or white areas.The book is positive; its emphasis is on what todo and not so much on what not to do.

—Dr. Jyotsna Codaty

Chapter 1The Beginning

Stress initially, was used in the biological context in the beginning of the 20th Century. Signs of stress may be cognitive, emotional, physical or behaviour that include poor judgement, negative outlook in general, excessive worry, change of mood, irritation while working, agitation, problem in relaxing, feeling isolated, abnormal heartbeat, eating too much or not enough withdrawal from society, avoiding responsibilities, increased consumption of alcohol or drugs, habits showing nervousness, nail biting, lack of concentration, forgetfulness, indigestion, loss of appetite, weight loss or weight gain, and headache with constant fatique.

There was a time long age when people were happy most of the time. They had a little land, they made their own clothes, hunted their own food and built their own houses depending on where they lived. They found their life partners, had children, and the children grew up doing much the same as their parents did.

Even then, they had their own share of problems. They had wild animals to ward off, they were concerned about finding their next meal, they had floods and fires, and being human, they had their quarrels. Some were sorted out, some ended by drawing blood. They had invaders to fight and fend off. On the whole, they had a life, they had leisure, they lived and died without too much ado.

Down the centuries, society built its walls and its dogma around man. Life followed set patterns. The houses got better, the clothes got finer. The food was cooked to established standards, a social hierarchy was set up, animals were harnessed for work in fields and to draw carriages. Some were even domesticated as man’s best friend. Simple tools were crafted, and men and women continued to live at a leisurely pace.

There were floods and fires and invaders to fight and fob off. There was money to earn, clothes and houses to buy, and being human, there were fights and conflicts— for land, for money and for women. Thus, along with leisure they had to go through a lot of tough manual labour that made man tired and yet fulfilled at the end of the day. Women too had plenty to do around the house, looking after the animals, collecting firewood and cooking for large families.

Today, we have our houses, we have our cars, we have our computers, and we have our paraphrenalia of gadgetry to help us get things done. We have our organisers to remind us what we have to get done today. We no longer fight wars, our governments do that for us, and we have television and the media to tell us what is happening around the world. And we have to fight a system that is so flawed that most of our time goes, if not fighting it, then at least talking about it. And we have our doctors that tell us we need to relax, and ask us, are you under stress? And we pay money to teachers/doctors/gurus to tell us how to get rid of stress.

We are stressed out while going to sleep. We are stressed out getting up, we are stressed out from not eating properly, we are stressed out from eating the wrong things, we are stressed out about our children, or so stressed that we cannot have children. We are stressed out searching for better jobs, or stressed out from keeping our job. We are stressed out from not having proper help at home, or we are stressed out trying to find better ones, and we are so stressed out that even our three-year-old child is stressed out and needs therapy!

“Stop the world. I want to get off!”

Did you feel like shouting these words aloud, or at least saying them to yourself? Better still, did the pace of today’s world tempt you to be like a farmer, who rested beside the brook singing a song? His simple life that brought him so much tranquility is definitely worth emulating.

Mine be a cot beside the hill; A bee-hive’s hum shall soothe my ear;A willowy brook that turns the mill,With many a fall shall linger near.The swallow, oft, beneath my thatchShall twitter from her clay built nest;Oft shall the pilgrim lift the latch,And share my meal, a welcome guest.

Around my ivied porch shall springEach fragrant flower that drinks the dew;And Lucy, at her wheel, shall singIn russet gown and apron blue.

The village church among the trees,Where first our marriage wows were given,With merry peals shall swell the breezeAnd point with taper spire to Heaven.

—S. Rogers

I wish life were that simple, a matter of buying a cottage down the hill with a brook flowing beside and your wife humming a song! Somewhere along the way, we got so entangled with the world around us that we changed. Changed so much that our life’s goals appear to have altered to such an extent that we seem to be living simply. We have changed to an actively consumerist and existentialist society.

Early man was scared of wild animals and mostly died while hunting. As time passed other living forms, albeit much smaller than him in size, began to get the better of him. He began to fall ill with different diseases caused by various bacteria. Today, we are again on the verge of victory; with our intelligence and effort, we have conquered many of them and rid the world of nearly most of them. Sadly, we became prey to illnesses of our own making, illnesses of our own lifestyle, and illnesses caused by our own wrong choices.

Metaphorically running to keep pace with our own internal demons, to foist on our psyche, our ever-increasing ambitions and desires, all in the name of keeping pace with the times, and rationalising that in today’s competitive world there is no place for complacence.

 Do we not owe ourselves some answers before we begin to understand the so-called whims of today’s living patterns?

 Do we not owe ourselves simple plain good health?

 Do we not owe ourselves a sense of self-esteem?

 Do we not owe ourselves the right to choose?

 Do we not owe ourselves a stress-free life?

To realise the chaos caused by our attitude, I will start with some statistics. Not the most exciting of beginnings, but a point from where we get a good perspective of the issues concerned. The primary causes of disease and death in the last century and the present one have been as follows:

You will notice that the profile of mortality and morbidity has totally changed in the past century from what was beyond one’s control to what seems to be a matter of wrong choices. Those of you who were born in the 50’s or later, will recognise a certain change in the illness patterns and also in people’s reactions to them. In those days, a heart attack was something that happened in the mid or early fifties and there was very little to be done. In the 70’s, it became a disease afflicting 40-year-olds, and by the time we entered 80’s, people started coming home from foreign countries with a new set of arteries. This did not reduce the incidence of heart attack. Though the victims these days are only in their mid 30’s, they have pretty good chance to be hit by stress syndrome.

The same goes for the increasing number of cancers, and the newer diseases like AIDS. In the new millennium though, we seem to be seeing some light at the end of the tunnel.

A wave of awareness has commenced, and its effect will spread. The era of choices has begun!

To begin to sort out what is troubling us, it is essential to first define the state of well-being.

And we will begin this quest with a voyage of self discovery,

A voyage where we will search for what we really want from life,

A voyage to identify the real new you.

Chapter 2Types of Stress

In general, a person experiences different types of stress. These range from personal, to stress at workplace, and strained relationships in the family, among others. Stress is also caused due to financial problems or changes after an event like an accident, stress arising out of neighbourhood problems, or any political news.

All these types of stress and many more are classified into following four main categories of stress:

1. Eustress

You must have felt:

 Thrilled and excited while watching a horror movie.

 Excited when you won a game or prize.

 Zeal when you bought your first car.

 Happiness in accomplishing a challange.

 Happy and excited when you went for a holiday.

All these feelings are called good stress. Positive stress makes us feel good, thereby exerting a healthy effect. Such stress makes us feel fulfilled and content. Unfortunately, this kind of stress occurs only for a short period of time. Eustress gives a person the ability to generate optimum output by performing his best. This is also called curative stress.

2. Distress

Looking at both sides of life, there is positive and negative stress, also known as good or bad stress, respectively.

These kinds of stress are the opposites of Eustress and collectively are called Distress. It is a negative stress caused by adverse events that influence a person’s ability to cope. Some of the following events lead to distress:

 Death of someone you love.

 Chronic illness.

 Financial crisis.

 Strained relationships.

 Responsibility of heavy workload.

Acute stress and chronic stress are the two classifications of distress. While the former is short lived, the latter is usually prolonged in nature.

3. Hyperstress

When a person is pushed beyond what one can handle, the resulting experience is called hyperstress. It comes from being overworked. When someone is hyperstressed, even little things can trigger a strong emotional response. The following people are most likely to be affected by hypertension:

 Those who constantly have financial difficulties.

 Mothers who have to look after their office work along with other family commitments.

 Vendors also are continuously under tension of selling.

 People working in a fast-paced environment.

 Salesmen travelling during the night and working during the day.

4. Hypostress

Hypostress is directly opposite to hyperstress. Hypostress is experienced by people who constantly feel bored, such as a factory worker performing the same task over and over again. Here the feelings of restlessness and a lack of inspiration prevails.

Chapter 3The Stages of Stress

Man must know how to live in good terms with himself, how to manage and control and sometimes improve himself. “Make it thy business to know thyself,” said Cervantes, “Which,” he added, “is the most difficult lesson in the world.”

What exactly is health?

Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease and infirmity.

Just being free from disease is not enough. One needs to include emotional, interpersonal, social, intellectual and spiritual well-being.

We must take the responsibility on ourselves to stay healthy. To keep well, and to the extent possible, being in control of our own little world.

Is there something holding us back from this endeavour and preventing us from being in control of situations? This niggling, nagging demon is Stress. While it is very common to blame all ills on stress, do we even realise what exactly stress is?

Stress is simply the body’s non-specific response to any demand made on it. Simply put, stress is something that happens in your body whenever you are faced with a situation.

The situation can be anything, from a life-threatening illness to merely being late for work, from losing a loved one to a school admission, from uprooting yourself from known surroundings to a quarrel in the family.

No two individuals react to the same stress in the same way, or even regard the same situation as a stressful event.

Stress is not synonymous with nervous tension or anxiety, as is commonly believed. Stress has its good points, and an optimum level provides the means to express talents and energies and pursue happiness. The important thing to remember is that stress is normal and essential.

Is stress bad?

No. In fact, stress is a motivating factor. It is needed to perform. It is just that continuous and accumulating stress is detrimental to health.

Before we begin to discuss what exactly are the body’s responses to stress, let us start with the attitude that a little bit of tension, a little bit of anxiety, in short, a little bit of stress is a good and essential requisite for our well-being.

Let me introduce you to this family that is so quintessentially Indian. Perhaps in this family, we will identify a little of someone we know, or someone we deal with every day; we may even identify ourself.

Like in all families sagas, we have the grandfather Mr. Surendranath and we have his wife, Kamala. Surendranath retired as a head clerk from a government office, while Kamala stayed at home and looked after the children. They have three offsprings. Vijay, the eldest, works as a scientist in a government office and is married to Sarita, a computer programmer. They have two little kids, a boy aged six, and a girl aged four. Surendranth’s daughter Anita is a lecturer in a college, and was recently married to Gopal, an engineer working with a private firm in the same town. The youngest boy Ramesh dreamt of going to medical college, but not having made the grade, had to give up the idea as his parents did not have the financial resources to send him to a private college. He is now training to be a microbiologist, but remains somewhat disgruntled that his parents found the money to pay for Anita’s marriage, but refused his request to pay for tuition to a private medical college.

All of them live in a modest house that is the ancestral property of Surendranath. This house is mortgaged to the bank to raise a loan for Anita’s marriage. Vijay and Sarita contribute to the running of the house, and occasionally there is grumbling in the family that they should also help in paying off the loan as eventually, they would be the beneficiaries of Surendranath’s estate. Sarita and her mother-in-law get along reasonably well most of the time. Sarita is grateful that she does not have the problems of her colleagues when it comes to minding the children, but she occasionally differs from her mother-in-law in various aspects of bringing up children. There is some conflict whenever she splurges on clothes and some small pieces of jewellery. The elders feel that a little thrift can help in paying off the loan.

Anita visits her parents over the weekend with her husband. While it was initially welcomed, Sarita feels this is as an intrusion into her time and space, while the elders feel it is a pleasure, and that Sarita should go out of her way to entertain her sister-in-law and her husband. Sarita is bad-tempered over the weekend, and complains to her husband Vijay that all this makes for extra work and as a career woman, she needs some rest too. Vijay is uncomfortable telling this to his parents, and on an odd occasion he tried to, was fobbed off by the reply, ‘don’t be a hen-pecked husband. More often than not Vijay is helpless, and Sarita is angry with him. This reflects on the children too, with the grandmother complaining that she does not get enough rest. Sarita says she is helpless.

Ramesh adds his little bit by being demanding in terms of his needs like good clothes and fancy dishes to eat. He takes every opportunity to remind his siblings that he has been treated in a step-motherly fashion.

So life goes on, with its little problems and small arguments. In this apparently happy family, there is a little tension, a little maladjustment and few major conflicts. Every now and then, we will keep getting back to them to understand the process of stress.

With this story in the background, let us look at what happens when we encounter a stressful situation.