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- Herausgeber: tredition
- Kategorie: Ratgeber
- Serie: Living Logotherapy
- Sprache: Englisch
In our turbulent times, many look to the horizon, searching for a glimmer of hope. Yet there may be more than one silver lining within reach. Industry's commitment to reducing greenhouse gas emissions could be one such ray. The decision of affluent nations to curb waste and luxury, along with a readiness to share with struggling countries, could be another. And perhaps the brightest light of all would be a shift from aggression and conflict to compromise and cooperation. What's true for the world is just as true for each of us individually. Thoughtful restraint at the right moment can relieve personal crises, ease tensions, and bring inner peace. Two experienced logotherapists have drawn from both theory and practice to offer insights that help readers discover how a mindful approach—choosing what to hold on to and what to let go—can foster confidence for the future and enrich quality of life in the present.
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Seitenzahl: 283
Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2024
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Living Logotherapy
Published by
elisabeth-lukas-archiv.de
© 2024 Elisabeth-Lukas-Archiv gGmbH
Dr. Heidi Schönfeld
Nürnberger Straße 103a , D-96050 Bamberg
This English edition published in German as Sinnvoller Verzicht, Krisenmanagement neu gedacht © 2024 Elisabeth-Lukas-Archiv gGmbH, Bamberg
Elisabeth Lukas, Heidi Schönfeld
Meaningful Renunciation
Rethinking Crisis Management
Cover Design, Typesetting, and Layout:
© Bernhard Keller, Cologne
Review: Dr. Maria Marshall, Ottawa
Printing and Distribution: tredition, Hamburg
ISBN 978-3-384-41037-5
This work, including its parts, is protected by copyright. Any utilization without the consent of the Elisabeth-Lukas-Archive and the authors is prohibited.
This particularly applies to electronic or other reproduction, translation, distribution, and public accessibility.
Elisabeth Lukas – Heidi Schönfeld
MEANINGFUL RENUNCIATION
Rethinking Crisis Management
Elisabeth Lukas – Heidi Schönfeld
MEANINGFUL RENUNCIATION
Rethinking Crisis Management
LIVING LOGOTHERAPY
Publication series in the Elisabeth-Lukas-Archive
Contents
Cover
Copyright
Half Title
Title Page
Foreword
Part I: Why Many Crises Can Only be Solved through Renunciation
Renunciation Brings no Joy–But it Creates Space for Joy
What Can We Hope For? Not That Everything Will Turn out Well…
Shared Suffering Is Half the Suffering–Shared Happiness Is Double the Happiness!
The Problem with Making Things Better–and the Dream of a Perfect World
A Renunciation Must Be Meaningful– Or You Can Renounce it!
A Renunciation Is Meaningful When a True Promotive Lies Behind it
The Ancient Wisdom of Delphi: MēDén ágan–Nothing in Excess!
Renunciation of Constant Seriousness–and the Praise of Humor
Today's Truths are the Future Errors of Yesterday
From Complaining to Value Consciousness– a Much-Needed Change in Thinking!
The Carousel of Lovelessness–and the Renunciation of Payback
Three Ways to Deal with Frustrations–and a Fourth!
The Tricks of the Amygdala and How to Outsmart Them
Can One Control One’s Will, Can One Control One’s Time?
"For Freedom Is not just the Shaking off of Compulsion" (R. Messner)
Widely Disinterested? The Mixture of Distress and Boredom
From "I Feel Good" to "I Am Good for Something"
With “Tragic Optimism” Against Pessimism
Suddenly Unemployed–and the Art of not Slipping into Despair that
And What if You Have too Much Time Because You're Old, Lonely, and Alone?
Low Self-esteem and its Communicative Consequences
Envy, Resentment, Jealousy–how Does One Fend off Such Torments?
Slimming Down Individually—Slimming Down Collectively?
Dealing With Transience–Fearmongering Doesn't Count!
Part II: Case Studies from Logotherapeutic Practice
You Should Worry About Me!
Help, I Can’t Stop Anymore!
"If Only I Had a Child!
Eat a Lot and Still Stay Slim?
The Enemy Beside Me–Scenes From a Marriage
First Scene From a Marriage
Second Scene From a Marriage
Third Scene From a Marriage
The Enemy Within me–The Call of Death
Two Case Studies
Synopsis
About the Authors
MEANINGFUL RENUNCIATION
Cover
Copyright
Title Page
Foreword
Part I: Why Many Crises Can Only be Solved through Renunciation
About the Authors
MEANINGFUL RENUNCIATION
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Foreword to the Book Series
(Heidi Schönfeld)
People in today’s world have, in general, enough to live on. However, what they often lack is the understanding of a "why" for their life.
With this diagnosis, the Viennese psychiatrist, neurologist, and founder of logotherapy, Viktor E. Frankl, summarized a core problem that has lost none of its relevance to this day. The book series "Living Logotherapy," published by the Elisabeth-Lukas-Archive in Bamberg, seeks to apply Frankl's ideas to provide constructive solutions to current problems. Primarily, this is achieved through the writings of Elisabeth Lukas. She is recognized worldwide as Frankl's most prominent student. In numerous publications, she demonstrates how logotherapy helps with mental illnesses, enriches the everyday lives of healthy individuals, and inspires all of us to lead meaningful, fulfilling lives. Her books reveal how humane, practical, and highly relevant logotherapy is, truly a "living logotherapy." For this reason, this book series is primarily dedicated to her presentations. However, other texts that faithfully and vividly continue Viktor E. Frankl's logotherapy are also included.
"Meaningful Renunciation" is a third joint project that once again combines logotherapeutic theory (Lukas) with the practice of individual case studies (Schönfeld). Naturally, these examples are presented anonymously with potentially identifying information altered or omitted to make individuals involves unrecognizable, without distorting their concerns.
May this book achieve the same remarkable success as the first two collaborative projects by Lukas and Schönfeld, namely "Meaning-Centered Psychotherapy" and "Psychotherapy with Dignity." Both books have already been translated into several languages1 and are read in many countries. They are valued for the lively connection between logotherapy and our present day, which demonstrates how relevant Viktor E. Frankl's ideas remain today.
The elaborate work of formatting and layout is thanks to Bernhard Keller, whose expertise ensures the beautiful external form of the books.
For the Elisabeth-Lukas-Archive
Dr. phil. Heidi Schönfeld
Last but not least a few words from our editor:
It was my pleasure to review the English translation of this book and I believe that those who read it will not only learn valuable lessons from it, but their lives will be enriched thanks to the exceptional insights and wisdom of the authors, based on Viktor E. Frankl's Logotherapy and Existential Analysis. Like fresh water that quenches thirst, our world needs more books like this!
Dr. Maria Marshall
1 For latest information, visit: elisabeth-lukas-archiv.de
Part I: Why Many Crises Can Only Be Solved Through Renunciation
(Elisabeth Lukas)
Renunciation Brings no Joy–But it Creates Space for Joy
No one likes to hear about having to renounce something. Many people are almost hyper-sensitive to the word "renunciation." They immediately suspect that someone wants to withhold something beautiful, desirable, or rightfully theirs. They think that someone is trying to spoil their joy. A call for renunciation can, of course, occur in such negative contexts, but there is another entirely different side to the topic of renunciation, which I would like to highlight here. Renunciation can create space for the return of lost joy, and that would be—if we take a look at the psychological mood barometer of our contemporaries—a true revolution! In our crisis-ridden world, courage, confidence, and above all, the ability to feel joy have often been lost, and not just in regions of poverty and terror. Even in privileged areas, a climate of despondency has crept in. The fact that, according to recent statistics, one-sixth of all young people in still-wealthy Europe have contemplated suicide and suffer massively from anxiety and depression is "a cry to heaven," to put it bluntly. Even if one were to point out to these young people that—unlike millions of their peers in other parts of the world—they have enough to eat, unimpeded access to education, plenty of job opportunities, the freedom to express their opinions, or excellent medical care, it wouldn't make a difference. They would dismiss it with a shrug as mere appeasement and point to the looming horrors of an uncertain future.
And it's true: Our future looks more uncertain than ever. But even in this regard, a new modesty, or a shift in lifestyle, has the potential for solutions. However, for now, let's stay with the question of how to regain lost joy. Joy has a peculiar nature. It cannot be caught, forced, or artificially inflated. It comes, if at all, of its own accord, and especially after a deprivation. That is, it lends rare values a aura of glory. It elevates the special, the non-everyday, the long-awaited to the podium of attention and enjoyment. One has struggled through learning and finally holds the desired certificate in hand. One has fasted (voluntarily or involuntarily) and can now sit down to a delicious meal. One has saved for years and can now afford a nice car. One is unexpectedly invited to a celebration or concert. One was lonely and isolated and suddenly finds a loving partnership. In all these cases, the joy is all the greater because the gift received was not taken for granted and did not present itself often.
Those who can acquire any pleasure at any time lose the ability to enjoy it. Those accustomed to success, feasts, concert visits, flattering friends, and the like will only manage a tired smile, even at the height of luxury. That is why rich or famous people often suffer so miserably inside. Joy is missing, and ironically, it is the one thing that cannot be bought with money.
Joy, then, is a child of deprivation. If you have three dresses in your closet, you will be happy about the fourth. If you have a hundred dresses, you will no longer care about the hundred and first. How does one return to the mode of joy? One could give away ninety-seven of the hundred dresses, and then one would be happy about having a fourth again. This is the simple arithmetic of meaningful renunciation: it creates space for the return of lost joy. If the renunciation is truly meaningful, it accomplishes even more: the ninety-seven dresses given away could, in the best case, benefit ninetyseven needy individuals! That would be something! What sounds primitive and simplistic is, in fact, a grand principle for reducing the ever-widening gap between the rich and the poor, a remedy against the throwaway society and its hubris, and a standard for fairer distribution of the earth's limited resources. The only sticking point is: Who is willing to part with the contents of their overfilled closets?
Well, if it is perceived as meaningful, there might be a few wise individuals who increasingly bow to the "call of meaning." And this is where a pioneer of the question of meaning comes into play: Viktor E. Frankl. Since I had the good fortune to meet this pioneer and benefit from his teachings, I would like to present some of his outstanding insights here.
What Can We Hope For? Not That Everything Will Turn out Well…
In Frankl's meaning-centered psychotherapy, known as logotherapy, the focus is on gradually strengthening the spiritual person in the face of the physical and psychological states that happen within. It’s about the lifelong struggle with the question of what is physically and psychosocially given to us and what we are capable of making from it. After all, life on Earth is not fair; and even if all people were fair—what an absurdly idealistic idea!—there would still be injustices in the world. Fate throws us into a certain "drawer" from the start, and that’s where we first find ourselves. Maybe we’re born during a plague, in a time of war, or in a period of prosperity… as chance may have it. Frankl, for example, was born to Jewish parents in the middle of an anti-Semitic society. Just 100 years later, it would not have mattered at all whether his parents were Jewish, Christian, or Muslim, but in his time, it was a catastrophe that exposed him to the Holocaust.
We are born into either intact or divided families, wealthy or poverty-stricken ones, in some corner of the earth, into a luxury cradle, a refugee camp, or a manger in a stable. We come into the world as healthy babies or with disabilities, with overflowing or meager opportunities for development. And all of this is just the beginning, followed by a long period of significant dependence on our environment.
But then the human spirit awakens, lifting the situation into a higher dimension. The person awakens as the active "architect" of their life—as Frankl would say—and begins to build something unique from the "building materials" assigned to them. Of course, they can only draw from existing resources, can only use what they have been granted, but what they create from it becomes an expression of their personal scope for decision-making. Just look at what Helen Keller made from her limited physical starting capital! How Viktor E. Frankl transformed his concentration camp ordeal into a magnificent post-war achievement! And how the boy from the manger has, to this day, changed the world! Yes, the "architect" can build a stifling prison from the finest "marble," but just as well can they create a cozy home or even a small chapel from primitive "wooden blocks," with its spire pointing toward the heavens.
So, what can we hope for? Certainly not that everything will turn out well, neither in our individual lives nor as a collective population of the Earth. Nothing changes the fact that we are mortal creatures. No, the hope that continually presents itself to us refers to the possibility that we can still accomplish something meaningful in the time we have left. Whether someone has 30 years, 3 years, or 3 days remaining—as long as they are of sound mind, they can continue building their "life structure," they can offer a kind word, leave behind an important example, resolve a conflict for the better… whatever it may be. This hope is justified, and it applies similarly to our species. That one day, in the planetary interplay of creation and decay, humanity will cease to exist (or prematurely destroy itself) is not to be doubted. But neither is it to be doubted that humanity represents something unique and extraordinary in the vast universe, and it should prove itself worthy of this special status. Thus, we can hope that, even after many crises, humanity will still expand meaningfully in the time it has left, whether that be millions of years or mere decades. Will it gradually be able to restrain its destructive and aggressive impulses and grow into empathy and practiced neighborly love? Perhaps. Everyone can contribute—from whichever "drawer" they find themselves in. Perhaps this is precisely the message that should be conveyed to today’s youth, who, with their bleak visions and demonstrative expressions of self-pity on the internet, infect one another with anxiety and depression: "Renounce the illusory claim that everything should turn out well for you! Instead, hope to find within yourselves the ability to steer the fate of your generation as best as possible—and to accept with dignity and decency, however it turns out!"
Shared Suffering Is Half the Suffering–Shared Happiness Is Double the Happiness!
The term "meaningful" has repeatedly come up, almost as a qualifier and a safeguard for what has been said. Humans are indeed capable of—and unfortunately often willing—to act against meaning, or to use the "building materials" entrusted to them to harm both their fellow humans and the environment. They passionately build on their selfishness, paying no attention to the costs to others. This constantly lands them in difficult situations, where they become entangled and ensnared. The danger of such phases is that the person becomes fixated on themselves, trapped in a cycle of misery and annoyance, and gets drawn deeper and deeper into negative moods, as if caught in a whirlpool.
The way out of this is to "look beyond oneself." When one sees more than just their own troubles, they gain perspective. And with this broader view, new possibilities often emerge, sometimes even a chance for a solution to a problem or a way out of a mental dead-end. Above all, other people come into view, and, lo and behold, they too have their worries. This alone is comforting—you realize that you are not utterly alone with your pain. You feel connected to a community of suffering humans. This helps to open up, to share your sorrows rather than swallowing them down. Experience teaches us that not only "shared" suffering but also "communicated" suffering is already half the suffering.
The further one's view extends beyond oneself, the more transparent it becomes what others need, and to what extent, despite one's own difficulties, one could assist them. This shifts the focus onto the remaining strengths, which can be creatively utilized. One particular motive I’d like to highlight, which is rarely mentioned, is the delicate wish that arises not to make things harder for those who are already struggling under their burdens. On closer inspection, this is an extraordinarily noble and empowering motive—to rise up and not remain stuck in constant lamentation. If family members were at least a little willing to not make each other's lives harder than they already are, it would bring considerable relief to all.
An inspiring example of this is the "Young Carers," a top-class selfhelp organization. These are teenagers, and in some cases even children, whose parents are unable to provide a supportive home. One or both parents may be addicted, psychotic, severely disabled, or for other reasons, on the brink of neglect. Sons and daughters step in at a very young age, taking care of their parents, looking after siblings and the household, shopping, cooking, washing, cleaning… all while attending school, whereas their peers are enjoying carefree fun. These young people face significant challenges, yet they look beyond their own struggles and thus manage to achieve extraordinary things, often pushing the limits of human capability. They band together to form a supportive community, grow into cooperative and mature personalities, and most of them later escape post-traumatic stress, as studies have shown. We should remember them and others like them with the highest respect.
Certainly, in our regions, we are predominantly privileged. The signs are increasing that this era is nearing its end. But for now, it is still the case, and this means: what is an escape for the physically or mentally afflicted is an obligation for the privileged. In the state of wellbeing, the formula changes: Not "shared" but "distributed" happiness is double happiness! Frankl captured this perfectly in an essay titled "We Give Bread – They Give Us Meaning." What he meant was: when we, the wealthy industrial nations, provide a livelihood to impoverished peoples, not only are they the winners, but so are we. We free ourselves from the frustration of oversaturation and the neuroses of a surplus society and gain from constructive projects and meaningful perspectives that enrich and satisfy us emotionally. They truly give us much in return, those underprivileged individuals, as soon as we use our privileges to alleviate their hunger and deprivation. Let us trade "bread" for "meaning" … not a bad exchange!
The Problem with Making Things Better–and the Dream of a Perfect World
Many young people today rebel against the "legacy" left to them by the older generation. They accuse their parents and ancestors of creating a disaster that they, the younger generation, now have to clean up. In light of overpopulation, climate catastrophe, nuclear threats, health risks, and economic downturns, they ask whether it is even responsible to bring children into the world. The young people are not wrong, but it is easier to accuse than to improve. In truth, making things better is incredibly difficult. Time and again, children growing into adulthood fall into the same traps their ancestors stumbled into, despite having harshly criticized them for it. This happens because role models are powerful. Those who had good role models can count themselves lucky, as these examples will accompany them protectively for a long time. Unfortunately, bad role models also have their pull, and no matter how much one denounces them, one must still resist their influence with all their might. Additionally, the alternative is often unknown. When confronted with bad role models, the "better" path for improvement must first be invented, and that is hard work. It’s not that it can’t be done. The human spirit is endowed with immense innovative abilities. But it remains a challenge. That’s why noble role models are of immense value, something the media, which mainly focuses on sensationalism and drama, should pay much more attention to. For example, when 85% of entertainment films portray dysfunctional family relationships, it should come as no surprise when real family relationships gradually follow suit—which, of course, no one wants.
Admittedly, the dream of a perfect world is unattainable. Every young generation has dreamed it in different versions. The idea that all people could live peacefully together, with mutual respect, granting each other freedom and goodwill, practicing consideration and forgiveness, and being ready to renounce prejudices and preconceptions, is indeed beautiful. How wonderful it would be if, after millennia of belief in one God, the belief in one humanity, as Frankl once phrased it, would finally follow. Although this goal shines in the distant future, the younger generation should work toward it with all their might. They are idealistic and flexible enough to introduce new ideas. Since Hermann Hesse, we have known that every new beginning carries a certain magic, and young people should have their magic! Reality will disillusion them soon enough.
However, there is one thing they should keep in mind during their endeavor: there is not only the self-made, avoidable, and changeable suffering against which they so fiercely revolt. It does not fit with the youthful “Go-better mentality”, nor with the modern generation's illusion of being able to fix everything, to understand that there is also unavoidable pain in the world—suffering that cannot be made better, only endured with humility or cries of despair. A mother of three young children falls ill with cancer and must soon die. An earthquake buries entire neighborhoods under rubble. We are not even allowed to ask "why?" because no answer (other than stark scientific explanations, which bring no comfort) will come. Rather, the opposite is true: our response to it is our answer. We can quarrel with fate, rage, unleash our despair in unbridled anger against those close to us or innocent others, but that changes nothing about the situation. It only makes it sadder. Yet even in such cases—though there may be no way to make it better—there is still a best possible response. We can summon the strength to heroically endure and accept the burden placed upon us without lashing out or falling into self-destructive panic. The example of heroically and patiently enduring unavoidable suffering is one of the most valuable lessons for our impatient and troubled world. It demonstrates the highest form of capability and the most meaningful "answer" we can still give under the hammer blows of fate.
Therefore, even if many of our dreams remain unfulfilled, we can still fulfill meaning in every situation we find ourselves in—whether it is one we can improve, or one that seems hopeless.
A Renunciation Must Be Meaningful– Or You Can Renounce it!
Let’s summarize the aspects of meaningful renunciation that we have gathered so far.
1. The aspect of fair equality of opportunity, which is too good to be true. We can make an honest effort to achieve this in our social interactions, but the randomness of life plays its own game, and it’s pointless to struggle with that fact. Let’s renounce it.
2. The aspect of dwelling mentally and emotionally on our own troubles and worries, which only pulls us deeper into the whirlpool of despair. Let’s also renounce that.
3. The aspect of blaming others for their mistakes, which demands improvements that we ourselves often fail to deliver. Complaining and accusing are far easier than advancing the better alternative on our own initiative. You could endlessly make accusations against almost anyone, as guilt is part of human life—and unfortunately, it’s also part of your own. Renouncing the habit of lamenting, complaining, and blaming clears a significant amount of emotional clutter that people typically carry around with them.
This does not mean, of course, that one should constantly renounce things as a rule. It’s strange that even unnecessary and meaningless renunciation frequently plays a role in therapeutic counseling sessions. In my experience, people often resist giving up such renunciations. They cling to their victim role, which they’ve gotten used to, reveling in their martyrdom, constantly emphasizing for whom they are sacrificing themselves, neglecting their own interests, and renouncing all comforts. For what? That’s the all-important question! For what? Is it to truly help where help is urgently needed, like the Young Carers who step in during family emergencies? Or (to highlight a darker, often unconscious side that also lurks within people): Is it to receive love and attention, to make others dependent on them, to make others feel weak and incapable, to receive thanks and rewards, to stand out grandly in the public eye, and other distorted motives?
People renounce opportunities for development they could have, or joys they could experience, for selfish or masochistic reasons they would never admit to, but which are the real driving force behind their actions—and they are utterly pointless. Most of the time, such people don’t even help those they supposedly "sacrifice" themselves for because they keep their dependents stuck in an infantile state. For example, if a mother sacrifices herself without limits for her son, clearing every hurdle from his path, dictating his homework to him, excusing every wrongdoing instead of correcting him, and constantly giving him money, she is not doing him any favors. She is letting him run headlong into the harsh reality of the world, which will one day confront him with challenges he will not be prepared to face, or only with great difficulty. Meaningless renunciations not only harm and burden those who make them, but they also set up the beneficiaries for future damage; spoiling someone has never paid off in the long run.
In addition to the cloak of "love" that these sacrifices wear, there’s also the cloak of "fear" under which meaningless renunciations are frequently made. Employees who renounce their rights for their bosses and work overtime without pay, without complaining. Students who take on extra work for their professors without making a fuss. These are people who allow themselves to be shamelessly exploited because fear looms over them—the fear of the power an exploiter holds over them. In such cases, advice is difficult because it takes a lot of courage to stand up to exploiters, and no one can guarantee a peaceful outcome. Nevertheless, meaningless renunciations cannot be condoned because they perpetuate inhumane patterns. Therefore, let us affirm: True, sincere lover—which focuses on the "you" and not the "I"—does not coddle or weaken anyone but instead fosters the capacities of the loved one. True, protective fear—in the face of unworthy structures—does not weaken but rather encourages the continuous search for shared solutions.
Renunciations can be expressions of love, renunciations can also alleviate fear, but in both cases, they must be meaningful—and if they are not, one can and should gladly renounce them!
A Renunciation Is Meaningful When a True Promotive Lies Behind it
Let’s examine the meaningfulness of a planned renunciation using the example of suppressing the desire to have children. Increasingly, young people today claim that they want to forego having children. They justify this by pointing to the alarming state of the world and the belief that a devastating time awaits future generations, making it hardly responsible to bring children into a potentially terrible fate. This argument sounds very reasonable, especially considering that the world's population, according to recent numbers, is “exploding.” However, I would like to raise a psychological objection. Countermotives—motivations driven by avoidance or fear—rarely provide energy or build people up. Instead, they tend to dampen enthusiasm and fixate attention on the feared outcome from which they arise.
I often illustrate this to my patients with the example of changing schools. There is a significant difference between someone changing schools because they want to leave their old school, and someone changing schools because they want to enter a new one. If someone wants to leave their old school because they don’t get along with their classmates, hate a teacher, or struggle with learning, then they are, in a sense, fleeing from their current situation; however, this does not mean they have fully embraced the new school. It’s likely that their difficulties will repeat themselves there. It’s different if the school change happens because the person genuinely wants to join the new school—perhaps because they know friends there, it’s closer to home, or a subject of interest is taught there. They look forward to the new experience, and this anticipation gives them a positive start. The chances are good that they will be satisfied with the change.
Pro-motives—motivations driven by positive desire—provide strength: knowing the clear “why” of an endeavor energizes the person pursuing it. In contrast, counter-motives are fueled by fear and keep regret simmering—egret that everything would be different and better if it weren’t for these fears and their causes. This also applies to the desire to have children, or the decision to renounce it. When a young couple faces this question, they should carefully examine their true motives and ultimately commit to a genuine promotive.
The decision to forego having children should not be primarily driven by fear of future tragedies. No one knows what awaits our children, either globally or individually. Even in the most prosperous times, there are no guarantees for their well-being. Those who wish to have children and accompany them through life must do so knowing that things can always go wrong and that neither they nor their children are immune to tragedy. They must act with a resolute "despite everything" in their hearts, out of love for and joy in the children, no matter what happens.
In the summer of 2022, a local train derailed in Burgenland, and there was one fatality: a young violinist who had just passed the audition for an orchestra. Imagine the care and hopes his parents invested in him! How many hours did that young man practice his instrument daily, from childhood onward, alongside schoolwork and social interactions! What a huge investment he and his family made to achieve his long-sought performance readiness! And then the young artist boards a commuter train and rides into his death. No, no one knows what fate awaits their children… And yet, if you were to ask those parents whether they would have preferred to have no son at all, so they wouldn’t have to mourn him, they would probably shake their heads. No, it was good that he was there; they were happy and glad to have had him, even though his life was short—he enriched the family immeasurably. True love knows no “ifs” or “buts.” True love is unconditional.
Returning to the voluntary decision to forego having children, this decision should also reflect true love—namely, the desire to be fully dedicated to something other than the nurturing and guiding of children. Our physical and emotional capacities are limited. Therefore, careful consideration must be given to where these energies should be directed. Perhaps someone feels called to a medical career, destined for research, at home in political activism, or suited for some other form of commitment. Especially in a time of looming catastrophe, we need people with brains and hands, who can come up with helpful ideas and are willing to work concretely and diligently on their implementation. In fact, every strong promotive requires renouncing other pursuits that one could also engage in but which would distract from the original goal. Multitasking, stress, and overload are not recipes for success. Therefore, let’s keep in mind: however we choose at the crossroads of our lives, it should never be a decision against something—fear-based, but always a decision for something—alue-driven.
The Ancient Wisdom of Delphi: Mēdén ágan–Nothing in Excess!
It's well known that complaints about stress, hectic lifestyles, and overwhelm are abundant. Most of it, however, is self-inflicted. Those who take on too much carry heavy burdens. Those who cram too
