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- Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
- Kategorie: Ratgeber
- Sprache: Englisch
Lessons in mental health and life from acclaimed entertainment journalist Jonathon Moran
Mental health issues can affect everyone, so it's crucial that you have strategies to help you combat life's ups and downs as they happen. Mental as Anyone is a brutally honest self-help book for anyone dealing with the challenges of mental health. Shared through his own personal story, journalist and host of the Mental as Anyone podcast Jonathon ‘JMo’ Moran, with the help of expert clinical psychologist Dr Jodie Lowinger, offers real-life coping strategies to break down the barrier to mental health literacy.
Developed through experiencing his own trauma, Moran shares through personal stories how he built his life tool kit and, backed with strategies from Dr Lowinger, shows how you can build your own, with practical coping methods that you can implement immediately to improve your mental health. With these comprehensive mental wellness tools and techniques, you'll have the support you need for issues related to sexuality, depression, addictive substances and behaviours, self-esteem, loss and abuse.
Inside the book:
- Actionable advice for your “life tool kit” to help you face life's inevitable challenges
- Extraordinary stories from Moran's personal and professional life — from meeting Madonna to spending an evening in Carrie Fisher's hotel room
- Universally applicable self-help strategies learned from personal experiences and professional practice, and grounded in psychology
Perfect for anyone interested in becoming the best version of themselves, Mental As Anyone is a timely and personal reminder that life can be a struggle, but we all have it within ourselves to overcome the obstacles life throws at us.
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Seitenzahl: 442
Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2025
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Table of Contents
COVER
TABLE OF CONTENTS
TITLE PAGE
COPYRIGHT
DEDICATION
ABOUT THE AUTHORS
FOREWORD: GUY SEBASTIAN
FOREWORD: GUS WORLAND
CONTENT WARNING
INTRODUCTION
Mental As Anyone
: Sharing my story
Palate Cleanser: Meeting Her Majesty — Madonna
PART I: SEXUALITY
1 Promiscuity
Beats
Apps and websites: Gaydar and beyond
Experimenting and HIV
2 Experiencing Sexual Abuse
3 One, Two, Three … Like a Virgin
4 Kissing Boys … and the Occasional Girl
Schoolboy crush
Pashing on the dance floor
Afterparty antics
5 Business Potential:
Penthouse Couples
6 Faggot: Flying Under the Radar
Donkey Dick
7 Conflicting Views
8 Discrimination
Your Toolkit for Sexuality
Palate Cleanser: Golf Course Stakeout — Robbie Williams
PART II: ADDICTION
9 A Wake-Up Call
All or nothing: My addictive personality
Alcohol: The gateway to addiction
The party's over
Purple pain
The sober light of day
All aboard the nothing train
10 Losing Control: 3 am Drunk Dialling
11 The Reality of Reality TV
12 Isolated in the House of Pancakes
Your Toolkit for Addiction
Palate Cleanser: The Ultimate Entertainer — Michael Bublé
PART III: SELF-ESTEEM
13 Body Conscious
Passing out
Managing the obsession
14 Hair Makes a World of Difference
A rogue grey and a full head of hair
A new look, a more confident me
15 From Rejection to Connection
Oh, brother
Meeting the family
16 The Things We Do for Love
17 Race-Car Mind
Understanding the zoomies at last
Your Toolkit for Self-Esteem
Palate Cleanser: A Visit to Narnia — Tilda Swinton
PART IV: LIFE & DEATH
18 Overdose
Returning to normal?
Getting back on track
19 Listen Up: Abuse and Power
20 Death Rattle
Hypnotherapy with Helen
A family fallout
21 Inherited Qualities: Shopping ’Til You Drop
Your Toolkit for Life & Death
Palate Cleanser: Princess Leia — Carrie Fisher
CONCLUSION
A life lesson from Kate
My tips for positive mental health
RESOURCES
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
END USER LICENSE AGREEMENT
Guide
Cover
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
About the Authors
Foreword Guy Sebastian
Foreword Gus Worland
Content Warning
Introduction
Begin Reading
Conclusion
Resources
Acknowledgements
End User License Agreement
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I've known JMo for over 20 years, and let me start by saying this: whatever you do, don't let on that he's one of the best humans you'll ever meet. Seriously, he'd hate that. Speed-talking, fast moving and smart as a whip, he can be just a little bit intimidating — but I promise you, it's all part of his charm. Underneath is a guy with a heart of gold (do not tell him I said that), an unmatched loyalty to the people he cares about, deep empathy, who rescues wildlife and, let's be honest, sometimes people too.
This book is a wild ride through the chaos of growing up, mental health, past traumas and life as a celebrity journalist, told with the same sharp wit and unflinching honesty that makes JMo, well, JMo. He doesn't sugarcoat anything, ever, and thank God for that, because life's messy, and his story reminds us we're not alone in the mess.
If you've ever wondered what it's like to straddle the line between entertainment and existential crisis, this is the book for you. And if you get to the end thinking, ‘Wow, what an incredible human being,’ remember, don't tell him. He'd rather keep you thinking he's just a bit of a rogue.
—Chelsea Bonner
A huge congratulations mate on this fantastic read.
Your journey is one that should be written about and one you should be so proud of. I have no doubt this book will go on to inspire many young boys and girls. Thank you for an honest, genuine and authentic friendship. I look forward to sharing many more experiences with you.
This is an essential read — a powerful and life-changing journey that hits it out of the park. It's a gift to yourself that you'll cherish forever.
—Michael Clarke
Take this book home! It's honest, brutally raw, heartfelt and ultimately uplifting — a ray of sunshine for anyone weathering life's storms and seeking hope and strength.
—Grant Denyer
The first moment I met JMo I instantly adored him. We met at the start of my author journey when he wrote about my first book and could not have been more supportive, which meant so much, and he still is today. JMo really is an incredible friend to have! What I fell for, and why I have so much time, love and care for JMo, is because he is kind, thoughtful, caring, funny, honest, raw, intelligent, intuitive and has a big, beautiful, massive open heart. Something else I love about him is JMo owns his story and journey, and with this book he also can help others find acceptance and happiness, and love life just like he has. I could not be more proud or excited for this next chapter in JMo's life.
—Sarah Di Lorenzo
With love, gratitude, pride and a huge congratulations to the one and only JMo. I cannot believe we have been in each other's lives for almost 20 years? Thank you for being brave and sharing your truth with us all, warts and all. Your honesty, drive, self-exploration and determination is something to be admired, and I know by you sharing your story with us, it will be not only healing for you but it will be healing for many and will also set other people free. Your big heart and infectious personality is intoxicating and I am so proud of you for looking inside, doing the work, sharing your story and being an advocate for mental health. Congratulations once again my friend.
—Casey Donovan
JMo has spent his career writing about other so-called interesting people, but you're about to see that his story is even more interesting, compelling, dark and dangerous than those celebrities he writes about. There has never been a more important time for us to hear these voices, read these words and have these conversations.
Dr Jodie Lowinger is one of the best in the business and together, with this book, JMo and Jodie will change lives and help many find a better, safer, well-lit path.
—Larry Emdur
JMo's honesty and vulnerability is inspiring. His story is a beacon of light and hope for those who have struggled with mental health issues. I have no doubt this book will save lives.
—Sam Frost
Jonathon's bravery in sharing his story is inspiring! As someone who's been on my own journey, I know how hard it can be to break the silence and open up, but that's exactly what we need more of. The more we talk about mental health, the more we strip away the stigma, opening up space for real conversations and healing. Jonathon's raw honesty hits you right in the chest — he doesn't hold back, and it's clear he's opened up in the hope that his story will make others feel less alone in their struggles. This book is a lifeline for anyone feeling isolated by their own battles, reminding us that being human means facing our darkest moments and finding strength on the other side.
—Ben Gillies
Jonathon and I have known each other since the very beginning of both our careers. We have grown up in the industry throughout its many incarnations. He has always helped everybody else tell their stories to the world, and now it is his time to share his own! I have no doubt that his bravery and ability to communicate through his talent of the written word will connect, inspire and help so many others. I am so proud of you, my friend. Continued love and light on bringing strength to others through your vulnerability!
—Delta Goodrem
Jonathon writes like a trusted friend who understands your struggles because he's lived them too. He lays it all out — the mess, the trauma, the insecurities — and reminds you that you're not alone. This book is for anyone who's ever felt like they were the only one not holding it together, for those who've battled their own minds and need a reminder that healing doesn't mean being perfect.
—Jackie ‘O’ Henderson
JMo can bloody write. That's for sure. He sucks you into his stories. He is honest and authentic. Mental As Anyone is relatable AF. I needed this book.
—Tanya Hennessy
There are so few people in this world who have the ability to tell a story like JMo. The sincere vulnerability, honesty and care in everything he writes and with everyone he meets has long been my favourite thing about him.
JMo has been a dear friend for over a decade now, but there are things here even I have not known about the incredible life he has lived and the adversity he has faced.
I encourage you all to lap up every word of this precious book, for on a subject where so often we all fail to find the words, JMo always finds the faultless way.
—Erin Holland
Mental health is thankfully a topic that's being discussed more openly these days, but sharing personal struggles and journeys is still far from easy. I've had the privilege of speaking with JMo over many years during interviews at different points in our lives. Seeing him now share his own experiences so openly and honestly, with the hope of helping others, is truly inspiring. This book has the potential to make a real difference — whether by encouraging people to seek help or simply by sparking important conversations.
—Dami Im
We need more insightful, heartfelt and open conversations around mental health in this world.
In having them, we understand ourselves and each other better but perhaps most importantly, we feel less alone. A nuanced and personal deep dive into mental, acclaimed entertainment journalist JMo balances the stories of his own battles with mental health with insightful commentary and skills for life, by Dr Jodie Lowinger.
—Melissa Leong
Jonathon Moran's Mental As Anyone is such a heartfelt read. His honesty in sharing his own journey, along with Dr Jodie Lowinger's incredible insights, makes this book so special. It's full of strength, hope and tools to help anyone feel less alone and more supported in their mental health journey.
—Jessica Mauboy
Jonathon is as caring with his written words as he is in life, always reminding us that we are not alone, that he cares, loves and supports you, always.
I feel very lucky to be his friend and reading this book will allow you to feel some of his warmth, acceptance and understanding. It is important work because he shines a light in the darkest of places, which helps us all. He reminds us that we do not walk alone.
—Edwina McCann
Jonathon Moran fears that he is an imposter. Readers will soon disagree with his harsh judgement of his worth. JMo is not an imposter. He is a vulnerable, unique human being who has demonstrated the courage and grace to share his inner-most doubts and torment to help others. In my own life I have realised that I have only really been able to trust those who bear the scars of suffering to offer me help in healing my own wounds.
JMo bares his wounds and in so doing bares his soul. He tried to end his own life. I am so deeply grateful that he did not succeed. I treasure his friendship. I commend this important book to anyone who has struggled with fears of inadequacy, with deep depression and crippling anxiety. That is everyone who has one ounce of the honesty of this author.
—Catherine McGregor
In the spirit of owning every part of our story and sharing them to be free, this book is brilliant.
On the road to accepting who we are. Brave and honest is the way. This book proves it.
—Kate Ritchie
JMo … not good enough? Enough is enough! Just a bloody good, honest person, THAT is enough.
A must-read for anyone struggling with shame around mental illness. JMo's honest and plain-talking ways cut through the stigma of abuse and depression. I am proud to call him a friend.
—Melinda Schneider
I've known JMo for years now both in print and in real life — they can be worlds apart. What I've always appreciated about him is his honesty and transparency. He has an outward comfort in his own skin.
Back during COVID, JMo and I formed a unique friendship. We'd often run into each other in the empty halls of News HQ on Holt Street. It was a ghost town with only a small handful of us in the office, including JMo. I always appreciated the conversations we had during that odd time and respected him for his commitment to his work. He kept turning up — maybe he just needed to get out of the house, but either way I appreciated it.
That commitment says everything about the kind of person he is. Now, seeing him pour that same dedication into sharing his story is amazing. It takes serious courage to be this honest and vulnerable, to willingly put yourself out there for others. If leaning into vulnerability is the key to forming deep connections, healing and some even say success in life, then this book is truly a unique gift. It's not just about his life; it's about helping others find strength in their own truth.
Some of us need to be told how to live our lives, while others might not need direction at all. But sometimes, what we can all use is a road map, a guide to help us navigate those inevitable black spots, rough patches, and the most confronting dead ends. That's what JMo is offering in this book: a chance to learn something from his journey, to find hope, and to move on with courage.
—Matt Shirvington
Everyone has seen it. Most experience some form of it. But few have the courage to talk about it. We need more of this. Jonathon has the guts to go there and we can all learn from it. Bravo my friend. This is an insightful, honest read in the mental health space.
—Karl Stefanovic
First published 2025 by John Wiley & Sons Australia, Ltd
© Jonathon William Moran, Mind Strength Pty Ltd 2025
All rights reserved, including rights for text and data mining and training of artificial intelligence technologies or similar technologies. Except as permitted under theAustralian Copyright Act 1968 (for example, a fair dealing for the purposes of study, research, criticism or review) no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise. Advice on how to obtain permission to reuse material from this title is available at http://www.wiley.com/go/permissions.
The right of Jonathon Moran and Dr Jodie Lowinger to be identified as the authors of Mental As Anyone have been asserted in accordance with law.
ISBN: 978-1-394-33843-6
Registered OfficeJohn Wiley & Sons Australia, Ltd. Level 4, 600 Bourke Street, Melbourne, VIC 3000, Australia
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Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of WarrantyWhile the publisher and authors have used their best efforts in preparing this work, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this work and specifically disclaim all warranties, including without limitation any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives, written sales materials or promotional statements for this work. This work is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering professional services. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a specialist where appropriate. The fact that an organisation, website, or product is referred to in this work as a citation and/or potential source of further information does not mean that the publisher and authors endorse the information or services the organisation, website, or product may provide or recommendations it may make. Further, readers should be aware that websites listed in this work may have changed or disappeared between when this work was written and when it is read. Neither the publisher nor authors shall be liable for any loss of profit or any other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages.
This book contains excerpts from articles published in The Daily Telegraph/The Sunday Telegraph, including ‘Mumsy moments with Madonna’, The Daily Telegraph/The Sunday Telegraph, April 20 2008; ‘ “Hang them suckers”: Anthony Mundine’s offensive anti-gay rant’, February 9, 2018; ‘Jonathon Moran opens up about how Charlotte Dawson helped him work through his depression and how her work helped break down a stigma’, February 22, 2014; ‘Fiona O’Loughlin reveals booze battle while on reality TV’, October 14, 2020; ‘Learning love’s lessons’, October 11, 2009. ‘ “I was a wreck”: Michael Buble cried over news his tour sold out’, February 12, 2020; ‘Going bald can be a blow to your self esteem but a hair transplant could be the answer’, February 17, 2014; ‘Star Wars princess in a lather over souvenir hunt’, June 20, 2013; ‘In bed with a true princess’. The book also contains excerpts from ‘Swinton up for being the bad witch’, AAP, December 22, 2005.
Cover design: Paul McCarthy
Cover image: © Getty Images / Aleksandra KonopliaCover and about the authors photo: Christian GillesDedication illustration: © Maria/Adobe Stock
For Alex, Trish, Ali, Stu, Jude, Liv, Chloe, Grace and Bella — you are and will always be my reason.
ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Jonathon Moran
Jonathon Moran is an accomplished journalist with more than two decades' experience. Moran grew up in Canberra and studied a double major in print and broadcast journalism at the University of Canberra.
He is Chief Entertainment Writer/Editor at The Daily Telegraph and The Sunday Telegraph and host of the hugely successful Mental As Anyone podcast, which has seen the likes of Robert Irwin, Michael Clarke, Melissa Leong, Jackie ‘O’ Henderson, Ben Gillies, Tanya Plibersek and Guy Sebastian share their own mental health stories. He is also a successful radio host with his national Confidential on Nova show on the Nova network, clocking up more than a decade on the air.
Moran is also a media and celebrity commentator, having appeared on various television programs from The Morning Show to Sunrise, A Current Affair and even I'm a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here!
Dr Jodie Lowinger
Dr Jodie Lowinger is an award-winning adult, child and adolescent clinical psychologist, anxiety and mindset expert, and business strategist who drives transformation in leading CEOs and organisations while connecting at the heart with parents, educators, kids and teens.
Growing up with a mother who experienced severe anxiety, she was the caregiver from a young age. Her experiences with anxiety led to a passionate interest in equipping every adult, child and teen with the tools to manage anxiety and thrive.
Through two decades of research and practice, including her work at Harvard Medical School, as CEO and Founder of The Anxiety Clinic, and as a coach to business leaders and elite athletes, Dr Jodie created the Mind Strength Methodology — a groundbreaking methodology based on neuroscience which is transforming lives on scale. The Mind Strength Method has recently been named by The Australian as one of the 50 Australian Inventions Changing the World.
As an international keynote speaker, podcast host, media commentator, app creator and mother of three, Dr Jodie is passionate about sharing her voice to create a better world.
FOREWORDGUY SEBASTIAN
‘I had no idea what I was in for.’
I've known Jonathon Moran for almost all of my 21 years in the music industry. Although I never called him Jonathon — he was always JMo.
I'll be honest: at first, I didn't really trust him. Not because of who he was, but because of what he did. He's an entertainment journalist, and that job comes with its own set of challenges. Writing about the good, the bad and the ugly is part of the role. Over the years, I had opened up to journalists who I thought were friends, only to wake up and read their words, feeling like they were enemies instead.
I understood their job, but that didn't make it any easier. So, to befriend someone like JMo, I had to take down a lot of walls.
At first, when I'd see him at interviews or on red carpets, I'd think, ‘Wow, he's a lot.’ He's flamboyant, fun, carefree — a bit of a bitch, but a really funny one. I admired his confidence and energy, but part of me held back, wondering if he might one day hurt me too.
But he didn't. He didn't just not hurt me — he loved me. He loves me, my family, and he's always been in my corner. He's the friend who always picks up the phone when I need advice. Slowly, the walls came down, and I saw JMo for who he truly is: someone with a heart as big as his personality.
When I think of JMo, I can't help but think of others in my life who radiated that same energy — fun, outgoing, the life of the party. My brother-in-law Andy comes to mind. He was the last person we ever thought would lose his battle with mental health. We never saw it coming.
I think of Luke, an incredible musician in my band. Not long ago, we toured Europe as a duo, laughing the entire way at his wicked sense of humour. Months later, he, too, lost his battle.
Out of that heartache, my wife and I started The Sebastian Foundation. Through it, we fund Open Parachute, a youth mental health program reaching hundreds of schools across the country. It's our way of turning pain into purpose.
When I went on JMo's podcast, Mental As Anyone, I was excited to talk about mental health and hear his perspective. Then I learned he was writing this book. I was thrilled for him but had no idea what I was in for.
The stories within these pages — his pain, his triumph — tore my heart out. I discovered so much about my friend that I never knew. He's endured challenges that would cripple the strongest among us, yet here he is, sharing his journey with raw honesty in the hope that it might help others feel less alone.
JMo refers a few times to feeling inferior to the ‘footy-heads’. But as you read this book, you'll realise, as I did, what true strength really looks like.
I've always tried to live by the metaphorical phrase, ‘Never judge a book by its cover.’ But ironically, this book is an exception. The title, Mental As Anyone, captures a universal truth: mental struggles don't discriminate. No matter how strong, fun or carefree someone appears on the outside, they might be fighting battles we can't see.
This book is a powerful reminder of that. The honesty within these pages will make you pause and reflect on the hidden struggles of those around you. It's also a testament to resilience and the importance of compassion — for others and for ourselves.
Thank you, JMo, for showing us what true courage looks like.
FOREWORDGUS WORLAND
What does a hero look like?
With many dozens of Hollywood films now deep in the Marvel universe, we see ‘hero’ representation through their endless superpowers. Superhuman strength. Speed. Agility. Night vision. Energy blasts. Levitation. Heat Generation, and so many more.
But in my experience in life, heroes can be fragile too.
My hero, Angus, was my first superhero. He was smart, good-looking, successful, a good husband and father. He took his own life.
Even our greatest heroes are ‘mental as anyone’.
I know how brave JMo has been to take off his ‘superpower’ as a leading journalist and have the courage to be vulnerable. I thank him for telling his truth, his story.
What you are doing here in this book, JMo, by sharing (very bravely) your extraordinary and confronting truths, is giving all humans the chance to be vulnerable and ‘mental’.
Now, that is a true human SUPERPOWER.
This book is REAL — fair dinkum — and in JMo and Dr Jodie Lowinger's words, you have a guide for you to have the courage to commit to being so vulnerable.
Your vulnerability could help save a life — maybe your own, maybe the life of someone you love. This book is raw and honest, very much so. It comes with no judgment — some of the words are painful to read, it is confronting. But this is pain with a purpose.
We lose nine Australians every day to suicide.
Suicide is the number-one cause of death in this ‘lucky country’ for young men, seven out of those nine.
Enough is enough. No more!
Gotcha4Life was my start to looking after my village.
This powerful book is JMo's hug to you, his contribution to the village.
Let's work together.
No one wants to die.
People are tired and in pain but need a hero's hand.
And they can be hugged.
We all love someone — think for a minute and in your head picture the one person you love the most — they are ‘mental as anyone’. You are ‘mental as anyone’.
Read this book, and take the tools to love your superhero within.
Being a Marvel superhero and saving the world is a big task, but saving one life, one friend, one hero is 100 per cent doable in your village.
Your village will be ‘mental as anyone’, but let's use the tools here to make your village Gotcha4Life.
Gus xxx
CONTENT WARNING
Please note that some chapters in this book delve into subjects that some readers may find uncomfortable, such as sexual and physical abuse, trauma, drug addiction and suicide.
INTRODUCTION
Putting pen to paper or finger to keyboard is a truly cathartic thing. However, despite 20-plus years of journalistic experience, it doesn't come naturally to me to write or talk about myself. It goes against the grain of my early learnings in the trade — don't ever insert yourself into the story.
I have never been one to use big, complicated words. It is elitist and just another way of showing off. I find it wanky — pretentious, if you will. If you have to search for a word on Google or pick up a dictionary to find out what something means, then it's not a word I'm likely to use. In my experience, journalists who use obscure words are using them to show how smart they think they are rather than illustrating their actual smarts.
Of course, words can be and are beautiful, but I feel that it is more powerful to get your point across in short, sharp sentences than waffling on like an idiot. I am an entertainment journalist, not a university academic.
Each to their own, I guess; I just do not get it. Or more importantly, I am okay with using everyday words and don't feel less than for doing so. With this book, I tell my story in the most accessible way I know how, so don't expect any Shakespearean flourishes.
From the outside looking in, I have led a spectacular life. Business class travel, hobnobbing with Hollywood's biggest stars, financially stable, caviar and champagne at the ready. But the truth is that I'm just as troubled as the next person. To steal from legendary Aussie pop rock band, Mental as Anything, I am as ‘mental as anyone’ — or as mental as everyone, as I believe we are all a little crazy in our own way and I don't see that as a negative at all. Maybe we are born that way or maybe life does that to us, I'm not sure — but acknowledging our craziness, sitting with it even, can provide a lot of freedom, in my view.
I believe we are all a little crazy in our own way.
Before we go any further, I feel I need to provide a trigger warning as parts of my story are not one for the faint-hearted. I go deep, really deep, and the content is sometimes graphic, covering topics such as sexual abuse, self-harm, violence, eating disorders, suicide and severe depression.
I've hit what I believe to be rock bottom, and I've got the scars and bruises to prove it.
I was first diagnosed with severe depression, anxiety and traits of borderline personality disorder at around 20 after my first serious suicide attempt.
I also harbour trauma from feeling rejected by my biological father.
You could say I have had a lot bottled up inside of me — a lot of trauma and a lot of joy. More than 40 years' worth to be exact. Sure, I've had plenty of counselling and psychologist appointments to process it all, but I have never truly expelled everything from my mind. I am not sure anyone does.
No matter how many different counsellors, psychologists or psychiatrists I have seen in my life — and I've seen many, trust me — a few basic themes come up every time.
Rejection, fear of rejection and not feeling like I am good enough are common features. After years of analysis, I have a pretty good grasp of why I think this way, but it does not make these thoughts go away.
I wasn't popular in high school — but am I truly that different from the footy-heads that bullied me? If so, what makes me different? In the end, hopefully, we all arrive at some point of resolution within ourselves in that we learn to accept and embrace what makes us all different because those differences can — and should, in an ideal world — unite us. Regardless of what is going on in our lives, community is vital and, as we are all ‘mental as anyone’, the fact we are all dealing with our own shit can undoubtedly bring us together. Plus, I want people to know you can hit the lowest of lows and still make it through to the other side. There is hope.
I have held that life view about my sexuality for as long as I can remember. I've had that view too about my mental health battles. And it is the same around drinking and taking drugs. I don't keep any of my battles a secret. (That openness may not be for everyone though, and I am most definitely not judging those who choose to deal with their demons privately.)
For me, I have just found it easier in life to be an open book. My theory is that if I have no secrets, no one can hurt me. I was never a drug addict, and I was never an alcoholic, but I did abuse both because they took away the pain of all the other shit that had been blowing around in my brain for so many years.
If I have no secrets, no one can hurt me.
Now, I choose not to drink and I choose not to take recreational drugs. I've tried everything (bar crystal meth and heroin), I'd say, or most of the party drugs anyway. I loved it at the time, it was fucking great. It made me feel a million bucks, but it was a sticking plaster to cover the shit that I was really dealing with.
People always think that because of my job I am ‘somebody’ — whoever or whatever somebody is. I don't say that in an arrogant sense. The reality is, I'm no more ‘somebody’ than the next person I meet at the supermarket. Just because I know famous people or I can afford to buy some nice things, it makes no difference when we are buried or cremated.
But my job has given me some interesting life experiences that have led me to this point, where I can share my experiences in a raw and truthful way.
In all my therapy and through all my trauma, I've learned that I am ‘someone’ just as much as anybody else is, and I have been blessed to see the good, the bad and the ugly in others — famous or otherwise — to learn they are ‘anyone’ too.
While undeniably alluring at first, and I have allowed myself to get caught up in the excitement of it all, tapping into the ‘celebrity’ world has affirmed these beliefs.
As a society, we idolise the rich and the famous when, in reality, we all know they are as flawed, if not more so, than the rest of us. I have seen this first-hand.
You might see yourself in my story. That's the aim of writing this book — hopefully some people will relate to the lighter side of things, while others might relate to the darker sides of my story and others the stuff in between. My whole view on how I live my life, and my contribution to society in general, is that if I am able to be honest about my truth — I am acutely aware that it is just my truth — if that helps just one person, then my job is done. By helping, I mean that if someone relates to my story or connects with it, hopefully it will help them feel less alone in their own life and with their own trauma and issues.
Mental As Anyone: Sharing my story
In public and in my job, I am generally known as a bubbly person, but in private, there's a lot of torment and trauma that I have not really shared with many people.
People have told me they are genuinely surprised by some of the things I've revealed on my podcast, which has the same name as this book, Mental As Anyone. In my podcast, and in this book, I am putting my full story on the table. Warts and all. Nothing will be held back.
Finding my voice publicly has empowered me. I feel better for speaking out because it has only affirmed my belief that we are all ‘mental’ in our own way. And so, I feel less alone now, which is a bloody great feeling.
The core message I am hoping to convey by writing this book is that you can go through hell, experience all sorts of trauma and yet come out the other side a functioning human being. You may even end up happy like me. It is something I wish someone had told me when I was going through the darkest times of my life, because all I ever really wanted in those times was to know things would be okay.
All I ever really wanted in those times was to know things would be okay.
Rather than going through my life in chronological order, I've separated the book into four key themes — sexuality, addiction, self-esteem, and life and death. I talk about each theme in its own part of the book, though naturally, many of the topics cross over, as you would expect them to. Life and its problems are not single-layered — there are multiple ways to look at everything, and so you'd expect that crossover when it comes to such complex issues and emotions.
In each part, I talk frankly about my personal experiences across these four broad themes, as they highlight the biggest areas in which I have struggled. In writing this book, I've discovered that my sexuality, my addictive personality, my lack of self-esteem, and my thoughts about life and death are all interconnected.
I look at sexual abuse and how being a survivor of this impacted my broader view on myself for many years. It wreaked havoc with my self-esteem and led to a pattern of self-abuse and addictions.
Losing my mum at a relatively young age is also integral to this story. She was my best friend and mentor, and her loss left a gaping emotional hole in my life that I have had to work hard to understand and accept.
Just as my issues are interconnected, I presume yours are too, which further highlights the common link we all share — while we may be battling different demons, we may be more alike than we realise.
To build on each part of the book, I've asked my friend Dr Jodie Lowinger to come on board to share some insights and practical strategies in each of these four areas that you can add to your mental health toolkit. Our hope is that you'll find some helpful tools that will support you on your mental health journey.
And remember, this book is meant to be a resource to help you and others. If you're triggered or feeling lost, don't be afraid to reach out to your loved ones and the likes of Lifeline, Beyond Blue, Kids Helpline or Gotcha4Life (see the Resources section at the back of this book for contact details).
Finally, I couldn't resist throwing in some celebrity yarns for good measure. These ‘palate cleansers’ separate the different parts of the book — and, I believe, highlight the fact that fame, money and celebrity don't quarantine anyone from their own struggles. We are all ‘mental as anyone’.
So, strap yourselves in — here goes!
PALATE CLEANSER
Meeting Her Majesty — Madonna
It's an unwritten rule of journalism that interviewing the highest rung of celebrity talent is based not only on a journalist's level of seniority but, most importantly, the relevance and reach of the outlet you work for.
Australia's The Sunday Telegraph and The Daily Telegraph are top-tier outlets, but even so, getting access to the highest rung of talent is still not easy. Increasingly, publicists are going for easy win ‘social media moments’ with influencers over traditional media as it is a safe bet the subject won't be asked anything off script. Some of the big names don't even feel they need to do press interviews (which is fair) and because they speak so rarely, when they do talk, anything they say is a story — even if it is simply what they had for breakfast, what they're wearing or the car they drive.
Madonna for me was the holy grail of interviews.
The Madonna. Madonna Louise Ciccone.
I remember vividly dancing around the house in my sister's tulle skirt to her first album when I was just five. ‘Borderline’, ‘Holiday’, ‘Burning Up’, ‘Lucky Star’ — all bangers.
The thought of being in the same room as her made me weak at the knees. I don't get nervous around the celebrities I meet, and I've met many. But Madonna is top-tier royalty for me — and would be for most people. I might as well have been sitting down with the late Queen Elizabeth.
So, when Warner Music Australia's then publicity head offered me a chat with Madonna for her 2008 album, Hard Candy, it was like a gift from God. I felt like I'd won the Lotto. I'd lobbied for years to secure one of the slots with Madonna, and my time had finally come to meet the legend herself.
I was a year into my gig at The Sunday Telegraph under the editorship of Neil Breen and was determined to make it a good one. Sonia Kruger, then filing as entertainment reporter for Today Tonight, was the only other Australian flying to LA to take part in the junket. Kruger, of course, played Tina Sparkle in Baz Luhrmann's Strictly Ballroom, and I remember getting a buzz out of seeing her in her Qantas business class pyjamas on the flight.
Madonna was doing just a couple of hours of interviews for the whole world over two days. Television was one day, print the next. Osher Günsberg (then Andrew G or Andrew Günsberg) was based in LA and had a radio slot for Australia.
You know the scene in Notting Hill where William Thacker (Hugh Grant's character) finds himself in a film press junket with Hollywood actor, Anna Scott (played by Julia Roberts)? Comedy aside, that is exactly the awkward scenario when a journalist is sent into a room to interview an actor, singer or musician. Inevitably, in these clumsy moments, the journalist asks the talent the same questions they've been asked in the previous 15 interviews.
With Madonna, we were at a Beverly Hills institution, the Four Seasons Hotel. There was a mustering room — a hotel suite where media were able to listen to the album while refreshments were on offer. The famous American publicist Liz Rosenberg — who also looked after Cher, Michael Bublé and Stevie Nicks — was in the room. This was a big deal. Rosenberg herself was a big deal.
We exchanged polite chit-chat and, just before I went in, I was told another journalist from the junket had been kicked out of his interview for asking a stupid question. His question was something like, ‘What would you (Madonna) do if you had four minutes to save the world?’
I didn't think that was too stupid a question, given ‘4 Minutes’ (initially titled ‘4 Minutes to Save the World’) was the lead single from the album and featured a guest spot from Justin Timberlake. Usually not one to write questions, I scratched that one off my list of back-up questions in case I lost my cool or train of thought.
Then, Rosenberg asked me what my joke was. Joke? Yes, joke.
She explained that Madonna will always ask for a joke in an interview. I wasn't sure if she was winding me up or telling the truth. My mind went blank, and I feared I would either faint, shit myself or vomit.
Funnily enough, before her interview Kruger admitted to me prior to going in that she hadn't slept for the two nights in LA and that she'd had terrible tummy troubles due to nerves. That image was one I would never forget.
Kruger, a veteran at that stage and a big-name TV star, recalled afterwards the horrifying moment she gave Madonna a gift. They were in a different room for their chat, where television reporters from whatever country would be cycled through for each interview while Madonna stayed in her place. When it was Kruger's turn, she offloaded a plush toy koala and a boomerang, holding them out to Madonna with excitement. I was told by Kruger that the singer didn't move an inch. Kruger then awkwardly placed the prized gifts on the floor at Madonna's feet and proceeded with her interview.
Even before this I never gave gifts to people I interviewed, although it was a common way for journalists to lighten the pre-interview mood. Some journalists were even on the payroll of different jewellery (or whatever luxury item) companies to try and get their product in the hands of a big name. I'd been offered that deal over the years, where a brand would offer to gift me something to wear, jewellery or something distinct, into an interview, and if the celebrity commented on it, I could gift it to them. That way, the brand gets their product in the hands of the star. I never took anyone up on the offer, despite being offered pretty good cash.
So, without a joke in my head — I can do funny things, but I have never been good at telling jokes — I made my way into Madonna's interview suite at the Four Seasons Hotel.
My adrenaline was pumping. This was my moment with a woman I grew up crushing on and admiring, and who I saw as a goddess. My biggest fear was that she wouldn't live up to my expectations — but she did, in every way.
Madonna was sat in what looked like a giant armchair in one corner, a double sofa next to her and a coffee table in the middle of the room. Her blonde hair was still wet, with two pins holding it back in a girlish bob.
She leaned forward with the sort of smile I would have expected from a doting older aunt.
‘Have a piece of candy,’ she said, offering me a sweet from a handbag cluttered with tissues, make-up and hair clips.
Here was the most successful female singer in history — who had built her reputation on sex, controversy and defiance — passing me a Werther's Original from her cluttered handbag.
Was I seeing a softer, more genuine side to the woman famous for her knack of marketing herself for almost three decades?
Or was it the opposite: very clever marketing? She was, after all, offering me a hard candy to begin an interview for her new album, Hard Candy.
Either way, it worked, and I was putty in her hands.
Despite her mumsy greeting, Madonna was dressed like the rock star she is — tight black pants, a designer black puffer jacket and yellow stilettos. A red Kabbalah bracelet dangled from her wrist.
A matching red BlackBerry rested on the chair beside her, and she played with it occasionally, scrolling through her messages. BlackBerrys were the thing back then. Around that time, Madonna had admitted that she and (now long-time ex-husband) Guy Ritchie were so reliant on the communication devices that they slept with them under their pillows.
Remember when I said that anything that someone with a certain level of fame says becomes a story? This was a cute line we could all relate to.
In my chat, Madonna admitted to feeling anxious, nervous and hopeful that people would like her then 11th studio album. Was she being humble, or was she genuinely anxious?
‘Listen, I didn't know how any of it was going to turn out,’ she said, sounding uncharacteristically vulnerable.
‘Just because you get a bunch of talented people together doesn't mean anything good is going to come out of it, so thank God it did. I chose to work with Pharrell (Williams) and Justin (Timberlake) and Timbaland, knowing there was going to be a hip-hop, R'n'B flavour to it, but hopefully I was going to put my spin on it as well.’
Madonna explained the experience didn't come without its share of challenges and she had to be strict with her collaborators, especially in the studio.
‘They're very opinionated. They're all stars in their own right. Pharrell and Justin are also vocalists, singers. They do live performances and sing on their own records, and I don't usually work with producers and songwriters who sing themselves. They had very strong opinions about how I should sing things, and usually nobody tells me how they think I should sing something, do you know what I mean? So that was a challenge.’
I was perplexed by this but also grateful to see the vulnerable side of a woman I'd idolised. She was only human, after all.
‘Working with other strong-willed, strongly opinionated people is always a challenge,’ she explained. ‘You end up having to make compromises; sometimes people's feathers get ruffled. I said: “Listen, all you guys, you don't have three children waiting for you at home like I do. I can't work till three o'clock in the morning.” So, once we got used to what everybody liked, we found a happy middle ground.’
Hard Candy debuted at number one in 37 countries. It sold millions of copies and while it received mostly favourable reviews, it wouldn't be considered one of her best. I, however, loved the album … of course, I was always going to. Hard Candy, a flirtatious play on words, featured 12 stand-out pop tracks Madonna described as both sweet and dangerous.
Surprisingly, in an industry where overzealous publicists increasingly put restrictions on interviewers, nothing was off limits with Madonna. It was, however, suggested politely that Madonna wasn't keen on discussing her upcoming 50th birthday that year.
In the short time available for my interview, there was so much more to cover — so I didn't push the line.
I was there to represent her loyal Australian fans. It had been a long time since visits with her last tour — The Girlie Show World Tour in 1993, when her show at the Sydney Cricket Ground was rescheduled after being rained out. ‘That was like a typhoon,’ she recalled.
I remember the night vividly as along with my sister and a couple of girlfriends, we'd paid for a coach package from Canberra to Sydney to be in the audience that night, only to have to drive home in a seven-plus hour round trip due to the weather — and we did it all over again the following week.
To get her over the line for a return visit, I even offered Madonna a bed in my then Redfern apartment, telling her my housemate could bunk in with me and she could have her own room. She played along.
‘Do I get my own bathroom? Are you neat and tidy? It has been a long time. It's the least I can do. Okay, all right, you've twisted my arm.’
I will never know if Rosenberg was playing with me about telling a joke to Madonna because I pre-empted any questions and jumped in with my own story that both shocked and amused the pop icon. It wasn't a joke, more of a story about my sad love life that she found amusing, once she understood it.
On a bender one night a year or so earlier, I had met this guy and he was hot, like ripped body, nice eyes, maybe a little short but he was a package I was into.
We did cocaine in the bathroom at one of the nightclubs on Oxford Street.
It was a real bender, and it was so fucking hot. In that moment of passion in the grubby bathroom stall, I asked him what he did for a living. He said he worked with the vision impaired. I thought, ‘Wow, I've found a saint and a sinner in one hot guy.’ We hung out a few times after that night. He'd always sleep at my place, and we saw each other on and off. I, like usual, fell head over heels for a guy I didn't really know.
One morning, we got up and it was raining so he said he couldn't go to work. ‘What, blind people don't go out in the middle of the day when it is raining?’ I asked.
