Mindfully Happy: E-Book

Diane Lang

• Herausgeber: Sentia Publishing
• Kategorie: Ratgeber
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 141

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2017

Beschreibung

About the author:

As a Therapist, Educator, and Positive Living Expert, Diane has dedicated her career to helping people turn their lives around. She is now on a mission to help people develop a sustainable positive attitude that can actually turn one into an optimist, literally. 

Through her two books, “Creating Balance & Finding Happiness” and “Baby Steps: the Path from Motherhood to Career,” Diane has been speaking and empowering people nationwide. She is also an Adjunct in Psychology at Montclair State University, where her college work includes mentoring students for personal issue advisement.

As an expert in her fields of therapy, Lang has been featured in the Daily Record, Family Circle, Family Magazine, Working Mother Magazine, and Cookie Magazine, and seen on NJ 12 TV, Good day CT, Style CT, The Veira Network, CBS TV, and “Fox & Friends.” She has also participated in a reality based Internet show, ourprisoner.com, hosted Generation X-tinet. In addition, Lang writes a blog for Pazoo.com.

Leseprobe

Mindfully Happy

Waking up to Life

Diane Lang

Copyright © 2017 by Diane Lang

Sentia Publishing Company has the exclusive rights to reproduce this work, to prepare derivative works from this work, to publicly distribute this work, to publicly perform this work, and to publicly display this work.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the copyright owner.

Printed in the United States of AmericaISBN 978-0-9993232-6-7

Table of Contents

Cultivating Happiness

Mindfully Happy Habits

Meaning and Happiness

Myths of Happiness

Bonus Happiness Tips

The Connection Between Mindfulness and Happiness

Cultivating a Mindful Lifestyle

My Wake-up Call

Mindlessness

Mindfulness Techniques

Mindfulness Exercises

Notes

About the Author

Cultivating Happiness

Happiness depends upon ourselves.

—Aristotle

To start cultivating your mindfully happy life, you must ask yourself:

Is my life happy? Am I happy?

How do I define happiness?

What does happiness look like to me? What does it feel like?

In each area of my life, what brings me happiness?

Am I appreciating my day and all it involves? Am I grateful for everything I have?

Am I being my authentic self? Am I living the life I want — the key word being “I”?

What we know about happiness is that it involves having an appreciation for what we have and where we are. It also involves looking forward to the future, growing, changing, and trying to be our best. It’s the experience of joy. (“Joy” is a state of great delight and/or happiness.) It’s a feeling that our lives have meaning. The mix of gratitude for what we have and striving to be our best is a good foundation for happiness.

Happiness is also an individual thing. We all have different definitions of happiness, but if you don’t know what brings you happiness, how can you get there? I have my clients write a list of five to ten things that bring them happiness. My suggestion is to divide the list into different areas of your life, writing down what brings you happiness at home, career, relationships, etc. You want a well-balanced life. If you find you get most of your happiness from one area, then you will be stressed and unhappy if that changes. For example, if your work is the only area of your life that brings you happiness and then you get laid off or fired, you will find yourself without any joy. If you have a balanced life where you find happiness in different areas of your life, then you can still feel happy when one area is lacking. Remember, the list is for you only. It's not what brings others happiness, what society says makes us happy, etc. It’s your list and must come from your authentic self.

After you write the list (which can be harder than you imagine), look at your life and see if you do any of the things that bring you happiness. I had a client say to me that happiness is a warm bath, with soft music and bath salts. It sounds relaxing, soothing, and like a completely mindful experience. When I asked my client when the last time she took a bath was, she couldn’t remember. It was so long ago. If what brings you happiness is not incorporated into your schedule, how do you expect to be happier? You need to schedule what brings you happiness just like you would play dates for your kids, assignments that need to be done at work, etc. Your happiness has to be included in your life. Happiness needs to be a priority.

Happiness Scale

Negative default is our natural setting. This is both bad and good. It helps us to notice when we feel threatened and unsafe. It helps us learn from bad experiences. Unfortunately, many people end up staying in their negative setting. The good news is that we can be happier than where we are today—but first we need to know our starting point.

Where do you find yourself on the happiness scale of one to ten, one being the least happy and ten being the happiest? Don’t ask about today. Ask in general. In the last few months, where have you been? Ask yourself that question and be honest. Most of my clients and students say around a six or seven, but I have had people ask, “Can I be a zero on a scale of one to ten?” “Can I be a negative number?” You can be any place you truly feel you are. Don’t judge it. Use it as a starting point and work your way up.

Once you have your starting place, ask yourself where you want to be. Is the number you want to achieve realistic? You can't go from a one to a ten, but you could go from a one to a three in a reasonable amount of time. Your number has to be realistic. We always make changes in baby steps. Our happiness levels can change due to circumstances. That is normal and to be expected.

Whether or not you’re feeling happy right now, you can always be happier and more resilient. When we are optimistic, we have the ability to recover from challenges quickly. Happier people don’t let failures and mistakes stop them; instead they work to overcome them. The more optimistic you are, the more resilient you are.

We all have a genetic set point of happiness. Some people are happier than others naturally, but no matter what level of happiness you have, you can always increase it. There are some simple habits we can create in our lives to feel happier pretty quickly. In this book, we will go over a variety of different happiness habits and mindfulness tips that will help you to feel happier and be more resilient. Follow these happiness habits and make them a daily routine. We know that we can’t live a stress-free life. There will be circumstances that will be outside of our control, but we can be resilient so that when the stressful times come (and they will), you will have built a strong foundation that will allow you to move through these times more quickly and smoothly.

Happiness is a commitment and a choice. Before you move on to the rest of the chapters in this book, make sure you’re ready to make the commitment to yourself, and to take the time to add happiness into your life. Happiness is available to everyone. We can all be happier than we are today, but that means making it a priority. This includes self-care and some work. If you’re ready, then continue on to cultivate your happiness.

Happiness is largely an attitude of mind, of viewing life from the right angle.

—Dale Carnegie

Benefits of Happiness

Happiness has been correlated with better health, in both individuals and communities. Some studies suggest that states of happiness may be associated with lower stress-related hormones and better immune function. Happy people are less likely to suffer from depression. Happier people can live longer and healthier lives.

Happy people are more creative and productive at work. When you are happy, you have more energy and are able to have better focus and concentration. Happy people are also more successful at work.

Happy people feel more satisfied in their lives and can see situations from a positive perspective, so even when stressful events happen, they can see the bigger picture and know everything will be OK. They think, “I can get through this!”

Remember happiness is contagious: spending a lot of time with happy people can make you happier.

All the benefits of happiness speak for themselves.

A Surefire Recipe for Success

Most of my clients have families and full-time jobs, so adding more habits to their lives can seem overwhelming at first. This is why I have my clients add in one new habit a month. This gives the person time to get comfortable with the habit and time for it to stick.

My suggestion—pick one habit for each month and stick with it for the month. Even if you have a day or two where you forget or skip it, just continue on the next day without judgment. Do this for a month, and then you can add in another new habit for a month. This usually works for my clients without any added stress, just more happiness.

I have been practicing these habits for years now, and the benefits are huge. Gratitude made the biggest impact on me. After I started doing gratitude, it took about three months to notice a change. I still remember the “aha” moment. I was driving to work on a cold, rainy day in rush hour, and I got stuck in major traffic. At first I started my usual rant about traffic, I got frustrated, and my anger levels were rising, when all of a sudden I started reciting my gratitude. I was grateful that I was safe, warm, and able to call my office, and I realized it was all going to be just fine. That’s the power of gratitude.

I have heard similar stories from my clients. One client said the daily routine of writing down her gratitude and what good happened that day changed the noise in her head that used to keep her up at night. Her sleep improved. All of the habits in this book have completely changed my life for the better. My overall health and happiness have improved. I know if they worked for me and my clients, they can work for you.

We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.

—Joseph Campbell

Mindfully Happy Habits

Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action.

—Benjamin Disraeli

Mindfully Happy Habit #1—Are Your Basic Needs Met?

Many people feel blah, low energy, fatigued, and unbalanced. I have had clients come to me thinking they need counseling or coaching due to these symptoms. What I have realized is some of my clients don’t need coaching. They need to have their basic needs met.

I have most of my clients keep a “Journal of Truth” for one week. It is similar to keeping a food diary. It’s writing everything down. There are no changes to be made during that week; it’s just keeping track of four things: food, water, sleep, and exercise.

Food journal—what did you eat and when? Many of us don’t eat well. We have heard the expression “you are what you eat,” and that is true. Unfortunately, many of us eat foods that are high in sugar, low in nutrition, processed, or low-fat/fat-free foods that use fake sugars. This type of diet can cause us to feel fatigued, low energy, blah, and sluggish, and to have low concentration levels. We also need to watch when we eat. If we go too long without food, we can feel shaky, irritable, and moody. Changing our diets can change our lives. Reading food labels can help declutter our kitchen and change our lifestyle. Two great tips:

If the first two ingredients are sugar or fake sugar, it’s time to remove it from the kitchen.

If you can’t pronounce any of the ingredients on the label, it’s time to remove it from the kitchen.

Water—how much water do you drink each day? This does not include coffee, soda, or tea, unless it’s herbal, decaffeinated tea, or broth. Most of us feel fatigued and low energy sometimes, and this can be due to a lack of water in our diet. I had a client who would feel sluggish around three o’clock while at work. She typically would go for a cup of coffee or grab a soda. She would sometimes go to the vending machine for a pick-me-up snack. I had her exchange all of that for two glasses of water at that time. Within a few weeks, she had more energy in the afternoon without any added calories, sugar, or caffeine. Try it! Carry a water bottle with you to add more water to your day. Be hydrated and see the changes.

Sleep—how much sleep do you get at night? Most Americans get four to six hours of sleep per night, when we need around eight hours. If we go three nights with six hours’ sleep or less, cognitively it’s like not sleeping for 24 hours. Our attention span, focus, concentration, moods, and memory are all off.

Sleep hygiene tips

Stay regular—try to go sleep at around the same time every night and wake up around the same time every day, even on weekends and during time off.

Avoid caffeine, nicotine, large meals, and alcohol for at least five to six hours before bed. They can all interrupt your sleep.

Sleep routine—set up a few things you do at night to signal that it’s time for sleep. I have some clients who have a cup of chamomile tea and do some stretches before bed.

Bedroom—keep it cool, quiet, and dark. We sleep the best this way.

Sleep when you’re actually tired. If we spend time in bed wide-awake, we will find ourselves staring at the clock and becoming frustrated.

Write out a to do list before going to sleep. This will help you to avoid those ruminating thoughts about the busyness of the next day. We can sleep better when we get the thoughts and worry out of our heads.

4. Exercise—did you exercise today? Exercise is a great way to produce endorphins (the happy chemical) while reducing cortisol (a stress hormone). For emotional health, if we walk four times a week for thirty minutes, we can get feelings similar to taking an antidepressant. Any exercise is great. I hit the gym a few times a week, but on those days when I can’t, I wear a pedometer and try to get ten thousand steps in. A pedometer is a great investment. For ten to twenty dollars, you can find out how many steps and miles you walked and how many calories you burned. Just wearing the pedometer motivates me to walk more.

At the end of the week, read through your journal. You can see what is unbalanced in your life and what areas to work on. Then you can make the changes accordingly. When people have their basic needs met, they feel better physically and emotionally. Remember, your mind and body are strongly linked. If your emotional health is down, it affects your body. If your physical health starts to decline, it could make you feel emotionally down. To have total health, we must have a healthy mind and body.

Stats:

Two-thirds of all office visits to your family doctor are related to stress, says the American Academy of Family Physicians.

The World Health Organization (WHO) states, “There is no physical health without mental health.”

People whose glasses are half full are reportedly twice as likely to have healthy hearts, according to a new study published in the Health Behavior and Policy Review Journal.

Mindfully Happy Habit #2—Gratitude

Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are.

—Marianne Williamson

I added gratitude to my daily routine about three years ago, and it is the best habit I have ever formed. Gratitude is a form of meditation, so you get all the benefits of meditation, such as lowering stress levels, finding calm and a sense of peace, living in the moment, better sleep, and much more. Remember, meditation is the best natural way to de-stress. Gratitude is also a great way to retrain your brain to think positively. Gratitude allows us to see the good in our lives.

We humans tend to always see and focus on the negative. We have “negative blinders” on. When we add gratitude to our daily routine, we start seeing things from a positive perspective. It shows us all what we have that we never pay attention to. A client told me, “Gratitude allowed me to see what was right in front of me.” Gratitude gives us a sense of appreciation and thanks for what we have.