Multicultural Manners E-Book

Norine Dresser

• Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
• Kategorie: Ratgeber
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 384

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2011

Beschreibung

Both highly informative and entertaining, Multicultural Manners gives readers the understanding they need, the perfect words to say, and the correct behavior to use in a wide range of cross-cultural situations. This incisive and award-winning guide to etiquette features completely updated etiquette guidelines with special emphasis on post-September 11 culture clashes as well as a brand-new section that demystifies unfamiliar cultures in the news. Norine Dresser identifies key cross-cultural hot spots and suggests methods that foster respect for diversity. Readers will discover the dos and don'ts of successful business and social interaction, detailed tips on avoiding embarrassment in a variety of social settings, amusing firsthand accounts of cultural gaffes, a breakdown of customs, religions, languages, and ethnicities for seventy different countries, and appropriate etiquette for innumerable settings.

Leseprobe

Table of Contents

Title Page

Copyright Page

Dedication

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Introduction to the Revised Edition

How Is Multicultural Manners, Revised Edition, the Same as the First Edition?

How Does Multicultural Manners, Revised Edition, Differ from the First Edition?

How This Book Is Structured

Bibliography

Invitation

Part 1 - The New Rules of Communication

Body Language

Heads Up, Down, or Sideways?

High Five

Giving Change

Physical Contact

Sign of the Cross

Hands off the Head

Greetings

Signs of Affection

Thumbs-Up

Crooked Finger

Smiling

Eye Contact

Lining Up

One at a Time

Smell

Child-Rearing Practices

Lazy New Mom

Sharing the Bed

Breast Milk

Independence

Chaperone

Coining

Classroom Behavior

Testing

Enrichment Activities

Special Education

Fear of Authority

Student Participation

“Stupid!”

Left-handed

Corporal Punishment

Cheating

Respect for Teachers

Teacher Knows Best

Absenteeism

Clothing and Jewelry

Hats Off—Not!

Camouflage

Six-Pointed Stars

Swastika

Shoes

Boutique Boo-boos

Unsoulful Soles

Donkey Beads

Glass-Bead Necklaces

Modesty

Kirpan

Dress for Respect

Colors

Green Hats

Red Ink as Death Sign

Light Blue

White Bonnets

Wedding Guests Wearing White

Black at a Chinese Wedding

Yellow Tags

Foodways

Cracked Eggs

Refusing Food

Changing Food Habits

Offering Food

Milk Intolerance

Potluck

What Makes a Meal?

Food Taboos

Utensils

Making Eating Noises

Cleaning Your Plate

Boxes of Food

Food and Politics

Fast-Food Bags

Food as Medicine

Hot/Cold

Gifts

Yellow Flowers

White Flowers

Funeral Flowers

Bribery

Gift Taboos

White Envelopes

Refusing a Gift

Birthday Cake

Health Practices

AIDS

Misunderstanding the Doctor’s Orders

Heart Transplants and Licorice

Hospital Accommodations

Ignoring the Baby

Alternative Healers

Sacrificing a Rooster

Physical Examinations

Birth Attendants

Prayer Position

Birth Control

No Heroic Measures?

Holidays

Ramadan

Thanksgiving

Halloween

Jumping over Fires

New Year’s Offerings

First Foot

Sweeping Away the Luck

Luck and Supernatural Forces

Gris-Gris

Ashes

Permanent Wave

Hot Rocks

The Voodoo Squad

Eclipse

Feng Shui

Moving and the Almanac

Numbers

Numbers in Photos

Odd or Even?

Black Magic

Red Envelopes

Baby Furniture Delivery

Evil Eye

Rocks

Male/Female Relations and Gender Issues

Gender Expectations

Lesbian Bridesmaid

AIDS Education

Spousal Abuse

Romantic Implications

Hospital Roommates

Chastity

Inequality

Child Custody

Home Alone Together

Miscellany

Traffic Violations

Points of View

The Qur’an (Koran)

Generosity

Temples

Japanese Business Cards

Temporary Nuns

Business Practices

Sealing a Deal

Welcoming Home Ceremonies

Birthday Dates

Friendship

Hospitality

Political Differences

Shoveling Dirt on the Coffin

Menstruation

Prejudice

Post-September 11

Race Manners

Green Card

Mosque Phobia

Bridge Builders of Anchorage

Math Skills

False Assumptions

Time

Urgency

Being on Time

Dropping In

Taboo Times

Verbal Expressions

Complimenting a Baby

Beating around the Bush

“Hello!”

Giving Praise

Too Friendly

Accent

Forms of Address

Naming Traditions

Idioms

“No Molesta”

Compliments about Appearance

Yes or No?

Can’t Say No

Bargaining

Believing What They Say

Part 2 - Clearing Cultural Confusions

A Quick Reference Guide

Africans

Asians

South Asians

Southeast Asians

The Balkans

Independent Members of the Former USSR

Middle Easterners

Bibliography

Index

About the Author

Copyright © 1996, 2005 by Norine Dresser. All rights reserved

Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey Published simultaneously in Canada

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, [phone], fax [phone], or on the web at www.copyright.com. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, [phone], fax [phone], or online at http://www.wiley.com/go/permissions.

Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and the author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional where appropriate. Neither the publisher nor the author shall be liable for any loss of profit or any other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages.

For general information about our other products and services, please contact our Customer Care Department within the United States at [phone], outside the United States at [phone] or fax [phone].

Wiley also publishes its books in a variety of electronic formats. Some content that appears in print may not be available in electronic books. For more information about Wiley products, visit our web site at www.wiley.com.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data:

Dresser, Norine, date.

Multicultural manners: essential rules of etiquette for the 21st century/ Norine Dresser.—Rev. ed.

p. cm.

Includes bibliographical references and index.

ISBN-13 978-0-471-68428-2 (pbk.) ISBN-10 0-471-68428-7 (pbk.)

1. Etiquette—United States. 2. Multiculturalism—United States. I. Title.

BJ1854.D75 2005

395—dc22

2004027079

ToEl Pueblo de Nuestra Señora La ReinadeLos Angelesfor providing me with the most exciting journey—without need of passport or luggage.

Acknowledgments

This list is long with names of colleagues, students, friends, relatives, and readers of my Los Angeles Times column, in short, all those folks who gave me wonderful stories for this book or reactions to particular issues. I thank you all:

Elizabeth Adams, Ph.D.; Jesus R. Aguillon; Chelo Alvarez; Navneet S. Arora; John Aventino; Ana Balzer; Abot Bensusan; Andrea Berne, R.N.; Sharon Birnkrant; Betty Blair; Linda Burns Bolton, Ph.D., Director of Nursing Education, Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, Los Angeles; Stephen V. Bomse; LuAnn Boylan; Judy Bravard; Milada Broukal; Lise Buranen; Darcel Linh Cao; Amy Catlin, Ph.D.; Susan Daniels; Esther De Haro; Sgt. Mark Dallezotte, San Diego Police Department; Linh M. Diep; Shirlee Dresser; Hoa Duong; Minh Duc; Isabel Elac; Robin Evanchuk, Ph.D.; Susan Fein; Terry Flores; Ysamur Flores-Peña, Ph.D.; Natalie Flyer; Kathleen Flynn, Ph.D.; Yvonne Freeman; Frank Heron of the Syracuse (NY) Herald Journal; Yolanda Galvan; William L. Garrett; Julia Gavilanes; Jeanne Gee; Mary Georges; Ingo Giani; Clarice Gillis; Sandy Glickman; Dale Gluckman; Lorenzo Gonzalez; Lin Griffith; Anahid Grigorian; Nelson Gutierrez; Alice Thuc Ha; Janice Nghi Nha Ha; Stephanie Hang; Jayasri Hart, Ph.D.; Judith Haut, Ph.D.; Alan Hedman, Ph.D.; Carole and Isaac Haile Selassie; Officer Abdiweli Heibeh, San Diego Police Department; Jeff K. H. Hsu; Detective Paul Jean-Louis, Miami-Dade Police Department; Marjorie Keyes, R.N.; Ann Kiuchi; Venida Korda; Carolyn Krueger; John Kusmiss, Ph.D.; Han Lam; Ceci Ledezma; Kuang-Hua Liu; Ada Lopez; Emma Louie; Letty Maravilla; Roobina Markarbabrood; Joanne Marshall; Richard E. Marshall; Mika Matsui; Quinn McDonald; Rabbi Levi Meier, Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, Los Angeles; Doug Metz; Robert A. Miller; Rosa Montes De Oca; Vivian Moore; Patricia Morales; Anna María Wong Mota; Than Ha Nguyen; Raihana Niazi; Seung-Young Oh; Michi Okano; Nanelle Oropez; June Parris-Miller; Alberto Perez; Joel T. Pham; Tony Phuong; Sheila M. Pickwell, Ph.D., CFNP; Brin Pime; Dorothy Pittel; Morris Polan; Patrick Polk, Ph.D.; Bunny Rabiroff; Buddy Roberts; Malcolm Roberts; Alice Roy, Ph.D.; Arpi Sarafian, Ph.D.; Richard Seltzer; Dong-Jin Seo; Kathy Shannon; Stan Sherer; Linda Wong Smith, President, the Chinese Historical Society of Southern California; Mark Stehle; Bill Sterling; Theresa Sterling; Yale Strom; Edward Sun; Frances Tally, Ph.D., and the UCLA Archive of Popular Beliefs and Superstitions; Satoshi Tanaka; Rosemarie Taylor, R.N., North Dade County Florida Health Center; Leilei Thein; Teresa Toribio; Linh Tran; Tai Truong; Lucia van Ruiten; Scarlet Vartanian; Celín Vasquez; Marie Vester; Denh Voong; Alan Voun; Jennifer Warren; Sammy Tone-Kei White; Christiana Wise; Dolores Wong; Pat Wong; Tong Yin; Wilhelmina Ramos York; Fay Zachary; Magda Zelinska-Ferl, Ph.D.

Special words of gratitude go to my medical consultants and dear friends Karl Seligman, M.D.; and Rachel Spector, R.N., Ph.D. I am also fortunate to have other knowledgeable buddies on whom I depend: Virginia Crane; Marilyn Elkins, Ph.D.; and Montserrat Fontes. Their consultations and checking of the manuscript often rescued me from myself. Jan Steward gets a special nod for being the ever-present voice on the other end of the phone line (for over 50 years), to discuss myriad issues. Cheryl Rilly and Janice Garey were there for me, too, offering ideas and support. Additionally, Phyllis Roberts, graphic artist, receives my applause for her wonderful map. I am indebted to all of you.

And what would I do without the family? I pay tribute to Harold, sweetheart of a husband, eager to make a last-minute library trip or to bring in take-out dinners; to “the kids,” Mark, Carol, Andrea, Amy, Julio, and Leila—suppliers of leads, anecdotes, and advice; to my brother Mickey, who jumps in to assist no matter what the venture.

Here’s a toast to Sheree Bykofsky, capable agent and enthusiastic ally, alongside her terrific associates, Janet Rosen and Megan Buckley. Thanks also to Tom Miller, executive editor at John Wiley & Sons, who encouraged me to write this second edition. And a special note of appreciation goes to editor Teryn Johnson, who patiently dealt with my time compulsions and responded ably and quickly to my concerns.

To everyone: gracias, danke, merci, arigato.

Introduction

Introduction to the Revised Edition

While in a hospital cafeteria, I looked for tea to go with my sandwich. I tapped the shoulder of a man standing in front of me in the checkout line. “Excuse me. Can you please tell me where the tea is?”

He wheeled around. He was Chinese and clearly offended by my question. Emphatically he answered, “I don’t drink tea.”

I felt embarrassed. Of course, by only seeing his back I had no clue that he was Chinese. By asking him about tea it seemed as if I was making a stereotypical assumption about his foodways. Obviously, that irritated him. Despite my innocence, I felt guilty. What irony! I’m supposed to have heightened sensitivity about avoiding cross-cultural blunders, but in this situation nothing could rescue me.

Nonetheless, as important as it is to be cross-culturally savvy, equally important is the ability to laugh at oneself. Blunders don’t have to turn into world wars. As long as we maintain a sense of humor, mistakes may even serve to strengthen bonds, as they did in the following situation.

I arranged to interview a Hmong family for my Multicultural Celebrations book. I had read that they remove their shoes indoors, and when I arrived at their home I saw a pile of shoes outside the front door. Feeling smug about having prepared for the visit, I took off my sandals. Lia stood at the door protesting that it was unnecessary, but I wanted to show her I knew about Hmong customs. To my chagrin, when I entered her living room filled with family, no one was barefoot except me. They thought it was comical. I did, too.