No Speed Limit E-Book

Stuart Bladon

• Herausgeber: The History Press
• Kategorie: Lebensstil
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 577

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2015

Beschreibung

During his sixty years as a motoring journalist, Stuart Bladon test drove almost every car on the road. Working for Autocar, and later as a freelance writer, he was granted access to some of the oddest vehicles off the road as well, including the three-wheeled Bond Minicar, in which he was very nearly killed. The best part of any car test, however, was finding out how fast they would go. In 1970, he set what was for a long time Autocar's fastest road test maximum speed, at 172mph. Going back to the days when the only speed limit was the 30mph restriction in built-up areas, each chapter of this book brings a motoring story of travel, testing and adventure. Since a fond aunt began teaching him to drive at the age of 7, Stuart Bladon has enjoyed a lifelong passion for cars. This book recounts the many motors and the colourful escapades of a life spent very near – if not over – the speed limit.

Leseprobe

To my wife, Jennetta, so often left looking after the children during my long absences abroad on international motor shows, rallies or new model launches, and to my daughter Rachel, an editor at Oxford University Press, who checked and edited the material.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

The author is grateful to Autocar for providing the basis for a most interesting career driving the world’s cars and travelling to fascinating destinations, and thanks for the use of some of the pictures from the early days. He is also indebted to the friendliness and hospitality of many firms in the motor industry who over the years have taken him to often exotic locations.

CONTENTS

Title

Dedication

Acknowledgements

Foreword by Lord Montagu of Beaulieu

Introduction

1    VAUXHALL 14 J-TYPE

Out of the back window I saw huge flames leaping into the sky from the city

2    MORRIS 8

I noticed the clouds of blue smoke trailing along behind us

3    AUSTIN 10

As we came down the hill towards Bellevue Terrace, the headlights lit up a policeman sitting on the wall. I was terrified

4    HILLMAN 10 CABRIOLET

This car nearly killed me twice

5    VAUXHALL 14 DX

While in my care for a year this unfortunate car was to be involved in three accidents

6    FRAZER NASH

He lived only long enough to give his name and say he was from

The Autocar

7    MORRIS MINOR TOURER

If I thought I was going to the Le Mans 24-hour race, I was doomed to disappointment

8    SINGER HUNTER

Now adopted as Peterborough Airport, Glatton was an abandoned airfield used for testing

9    SUNBEAM MARK III

If any drivers are sticking rigidly to the 30 limit with a string of traffic behind trying to get past, we would fail them for lack of consideration

10    AC ACECA

We could have been doing 100mph with no brakes

11    VAUXHALL VELOX

I could have had any of several pre-war Bentleys for less money

12    JAGUAR MARK VII AND 2.4

I was absolutely horrified; I had driven it only 10 yards and damaged it already

13    ROVER 105S AND ASTON MARTIN DB2/4

Try as we would, the Rover would not make 100mph

14    BOND MINICAR MARK D

I was heading for a dead cert collision

15    JAGUAR XK150

I couldn’t repeat the names he called him, in a towering bluster of fury

16    ROLLS-ROYCE SILVER CLOUD AND VOLVO AMAZON

Try as I would I just couldn’t get it petrol-tight

17    SUNBEAM-TALBOT 90

It was the first car of all the millions ever to have a parking ticket put on its windscreen by a traffic warden

18    SINGER GAZELLE IIA CONVERTIBLE

I knew it was a mistake as soon as the nose of the car plunged sharply downwards, and I hit the brakes, but it was too late

19    MERCEDES-BENZ 300B

The headlights shone on a telegraph pole and I was heading straight for it

20    ROVER 16

The motorist who achieves three figures on British roads does so only at a risk to himself and others that would be difficult to justify

21    TRIUMPH TR3A

I

was absolutely stunned to see an empty space in the slot where I always parked it

22    VAUXHALL FRIARY

In Yugoslavia we were ordered to pay a fine of 10,000 dinars

23    LAND ROVER AND ASTON MARTIN DBIII CONVERTIBLE

The van coming the other way was probably doing about 60mph, so we had a closing speed of around 180mph

24    AUSTIN WESTMINSTER A99

I had changed the rule of the road six times in two weeks

25    SUNBEAM ALPINE AND LOTUS SUPER SEVEN

I asked him to get me to a hospital in Athens; if he had done that I would not have survived

26    SIMCA 1000

She did a kind of forward roll over the top of the seat and landed on the back seat as an untidy bundle with her best Sunday hat all askew

27    TRIUMPH HERALD 12/50

The Leica had disappeared. ‘It’s that bloody lorry driver,’ I exclaimed. ‘He must have nicked it.’

28    AUSTIN-HEALEY 3000

Suddenly the lights went out. We had visions of our mechanic working away under the Healey and being suddenly plunged into darkness

29    MORRIS 1100 AND HILLMAN SUPER MINX PERKINS DIESEL

The catalogue of problems experienced with the 1100 and the poor way in which they were dealt with were typical of the general attitude of BMC at that time

30    MGB

I thought a picture of this shambolic set-up would be good but declined on being threatened with a gun and told that it was a military establishment

31    LAND ROVER CARAWAGON

Suddenly we ran into a particularly deep drift, and the snow came right over the bonnet

32    ROVER 3-LITRE

‘I thought you’d be back,’ said the policeman, with typical Welsh lilt to his voice, ‘that road doesn’t lead anywhere!’

33    JAGUAR E-TYPE

Did it really do 150mph, as published in the road test?

34    VAUXHALL VELOX PB

We were absolutely scuppered, with the tank empty, and our spare fuel cans and toolkit trapped in a boot that could not be opened

35    TRIUMPH 2000

The fuel-gauge needle tumbled rapidly down to the half mark, and I knew we had lost the cap, which had no retaining wire, along with at least 5 gallons of fuel

36    AUSTIN 1800

The final indignity for Howard and me was to find that the Triumph 2000 that we had pushed much of the way over the Hirnant Pass just pipped us to fourth place in the class

37    FORD CORTINA LOTUS

There was suddenly an enormous noise, like an aircraft overhead at low level, and rising to a crescendo

38    DAIHATSU COMPAGNO BERLINA

After the test was published, the importers realised that they were on a no-hoper with the little Daihatsu, and beat a hasty retreat

39    DAIMLER 2½-LITRE

‘Look out,’ exclaimed the marshal at the top of the Hardknott Pass in the Lake District, ‘you’re on fire.’

40    NSU WANKEL SPIDER

The journey was made with great trepidation since vaporised petrol fumes were coming out of the cooling system overflow pipe

41    AUDI SUPER 90

I yelled out from the back: ‘Look out! You’re going to hit a lorry.’ Not a second too soon he did a wild swerve and just missed it

42    ROVER 3-LITRE COUPÉ

‘Your speedometer,’ I told the police sergeant, with the confidence of feeling sure that I was right, ‘must be faulty. When did you last check it?’

43    JAGUAR 240

I looked at the rev counter and thought at first that the needle must have fallen off. Then I saw it, right off the scale and almost on the clock situated at the bottom of the rev counter

44    ROVER 3.5

The oncoming driver took panic and threw both hands up off the wheel. His car veered straight off the road and into the adjacent field

45    AUDI 100 AND MERCEDES-BENZ 250

As the moment of danger passed I was suddenly aware of headlamps approaching fast from behind, and was back in first gear accelerating hard when there was a tremendous thump at the back of the car

46    JENSEN INTERCEPTOR AND FF

Soaring along the Heads of the Valleys road at 125mph we passed what we thought was yet another competitor. ‘That wasn’t a competitor,’ murmured my co-driver; ‘that was a police car.

’

47    VOLVO 164

I’d had two carafes of wine with the meal, so immediately I was ordered out of the car to sit on the collapsed back seat of the police Volvo 122S and submit to a breath test

48    NSU RO80

‘Well, Stuart,’ asked Harry Mundy, ‘what’s your erudite opinion of the Wankel engine now you’ve been running one for – how long is it?’

49    FORD FIESTA AND ESCORT, AUDI 100

Ford’s managing director said he was anxious to flag us away, as he had a board meeting starting at 9 a.m. Rather cheekily I commented: ‘Don’t worry, sir, I’m sure they won’t start without you!’

50    ROLLS-ROYCE SILVER SHADOW

I reckoned we could just squeeze the Rolls through between the trees at one point, albeit at a frightening angle

51    LAMBORGHINI MIURA AND MERCEDES-BENZ 280SL

They had told us it should do 170, and they weren’t talking kilometres

52    MAZDA RX7

The launch coincided with a record snowfall – almost unheard of in Rome

53    PEUGEOT 605

We cruised at about 110–120mph and covered the 204 miles back to Aswan in just one minute under two hours

54    RENAULT 21 GTD

We popped through the hole in the wall and stepped into no-man’s land between West and East Germany, but a guard on the other side shouted at us. ‘You are lucky,’ said a man on the west side as we stepped back. ‘Two weeks ago he would have shot you.’

55    JAGUAR XJ6 AND DAIMLER SOVEREIGN

‘What!’ I exclaimed. ‘We’ll never make it. It’s seventeen minutes past three already. Well, I’ll do my best.’

56    MITSUBISHI LANCER, GALANT AND CARISMA

‘Come on, they’re waiting for you.’ The police had stopped the traffic in Warwick Road and they were waiting for us to drive out

57    MAZDA 626

It’s always a worry when driving on an economy run calling for the tank to be run dry: where will the car be when the last of the fuel goes through and the engine power is suddenly chopped off?

58    MAZDA 323

The American policeman thought it was the funniest thing he had ever seen

APPENDIX

Long-distance Drives and Economy Achievements

Plates

Copyright

FOREWORD

BY LORD MONTAGUOF BEAULIEU

My first meeting with the author was in Monaco in 1959 when I had just completed driving in the Monte Carlo Rally, and Stuart Bladon was covering the rally for The Autocar; but I came to know him better when he came to Beaulieu in 1972 to cover the formation of the National Motor Museum. We were in a state of organised chaos, with step ladders and dust sheets everywhere, but Stuart and his photographer Peter Cramer produced a fine article in Autocar, 6 July 1972, introducing readers to the new museum and showing the variety of exhibits on display in those early days.

Since then he has been a frequent visitor to the National Motor Museum, and when he was chairman of the Guild of Motoring Writers in 1977 he organised an official visit to the museum for members of the Guild.

In his twenty-six years on the staff of Autocar he has driven and tested many thousands of cars, and this book relates some of the fascinating experiences and sometimes harrowing adventures in the life of a road-tester. The story of the Simca 1000 is sure to bring a laugh from anyone on reading it to the end, and one may be amused at the account of sinking a Singer Gazelle in the military vehicles’ deep wading trough.

Even more exciting is the report of the race to catch the last available ferry to get back to the Italian mainland from the Isle of Elba in a Lamborghini Miura, and another hair-raising adventure was bouncing a Rover 3.5-litre across a railway line where there was no level crossing, in a bid to escape the Swedish police.

I am sure you will enjoy reading No Speed Limit, which will take you back to the days when there wasn’t one outside built-up areas, and it charts the development and history of motoring over sixty years with graphic accounts of such landmarks as the arrival of the first parking meter in London, the Suez oil crisis, and the imposition of the 70mph speed limit in 1965.

INTRODUCTION

In June 2015, I completed sixty years as a motoring writer, having started work on The Autocar in June 1955. I have enjoyed a lifelong passion for cars ever since a fond aunt started teaching me to drive, working the steering and gear change from the passenger seat at the age of 7, and in my job over the years I have driven and tested almost every car on the road. An important part of car testing was always finding out how fast they would go, and in 1970 with a colleague in Italy I set what was for a long time Autocar’s fastest road-test maximum speed, at 172mph. I left Autocar in 1981 and set up as a freelance motoring writer, contributing to a wide range of motoring magazines.

As well as driving fast, I have long been fascinated by economy driving, squeezing the maximum distance out of every litre of fuel, and set three world records for fuel economy listed in The Guinness Book of Records as well as driving fourteen trials observed by the RAC.

Many of the cars tested over the years became involved in great adventures such as the opening of the first major length of the M1, the switch to driving on the right in Sweden, the car that went into the wrong water trough at the Motor Industry Research Association proving ground, and the attempt to drive a Rolls-Royce through a wood to escape the German police.

Each chapter deals with one or two cars of special interest, recounting the events with which they, and I, were involved.

Stuart Bladon

ONE

VAUXHALL 14 J-TYPE

Out of the back window I saw huge flames leaping into the sky from the city

Water was running somewhere and keeping me awake. It could have been a tap left on at the hotel we were staying in at Barmouth in North Wales, or perhaps rain overflowing from a blocked gutter. But it didn’t matter, I was too excited to sleep anyway – I had driven my first car, and I was only five! It wasn’t a real car, of course, it was an electric bumper car in the amusements area on Barmouth seafront, and I had to stand up to be able to put my foot on the little shiny button on the floor that made it go; but it had kindled an excitement in feeling the response of the steering and the movement of the little vehicle which was to dominate my life.

My first memory of a real car was my father’s Vauxhall 14, which he had purchased in 1938 after seeing it at the Motor Show in London, and it was quite advanced for its time, with a 6-cylinder engine and independent front suspension. It was in this car at the end of August 1939 that we went up to Scotland for a short holiday, and the car was well filled, having me and my sister plus my grandmother and the maid in the back, and my father driving with my mother in the front. We never travelled light, so all the baggage was in a trailer towed behind the Vauxhall.

An early addiction to cars.

In Scotland it rained every day for several days, but then on a Sunday the rain had stopped and the sun was shining. There was great excitement after the boring few days in the house, and we were going down to the loch. There was not much to do except throw stones in, and then on the way back there was a sudden drama, which I didn’t understand at the time. We stood outside a little cottage where the window was open and the wireless, as they were called in those days, was on. The news we were hearing was the outbreak of war on Sunday 3 September 1939. It prompted the immediate decision to return to our home in Coventry, amid horrendous fears of what the next few days may bring. My father thought that petrol might become unobtainable, and that road transport would be stopped, although as a doctor he would have had priority.

The return journey was very fraught. There was no wireless in the car, of course, so the grown-ups were full of anxieties and out of touch with developments, perhaps imagining things to be worse than they were, and then a disaster occurred: the trailer broke loose from the car, and I remember seeing it bounding like a mad thing across the moorland before the tow bar dug into the ground and it came to rest.

Somehow my father managed to connect it to the car with wire, and it was towed very slowly to the next town where everything was emptied out of it and the trailer was left at the station to be transported back to Coventry by rail. A little hole existed between the piled up luggage on the back seat and the roof, where my sister, three years older than me, and I were to squeeze in. At Edinburgh my grandmother baled out to continue the journey by train, but there was still not much room in the car.

Fortunately, my father was too old for war service, and as a doctor he was needed in Coventry, and able to get E (for Emergency) petrol coupons. Foreseeing that Coventry would be a target for enemy bombing he bought a caravan and arranged to have it kept in a field at a farm near Kenilworth, 3 miles from where we lived at Earlsdon on the outskirts of Coventry. The plan was that if things got very bad we would take refuge in the caravan.

The other common precaution taken was to have an air-raid shelter built at the bottom of the garden. I had seen my mother smoking and was fascinated by what she did, and one day I took the packet of cigarettes and matches to experiment in the garage, which was at the bottom of the garden. The men building the air-raid shelter thought this was a great joke, lit one for me and put it in my mouth and told me to suck in. I promptly did so and was sick on the garage floor. I was 6 years old, and never smoked again. I think every child should be made to do this!

The first time the caravan was used in earnest was in November 1940, and when we returned to the house next day it was to find that a landmine had gone off not far away and blown in most of the windows. Criss-crossed brown paper strips were glued to all windows in the war to prevent the danger of flying glass, and many of the shattered windows in the house were swinging on the paper. With the destructive element of all children, my sister and I enjoyed running from room to room, calling out ‘Look out below’ and knocking the broken glass out.

In one room – my parents’ bedroom – the door would hardly open, and a black triangle of metal no bigger than a hand was sticking out of the wood. On the other side, a huge piece of metal from the landmine was wedged in the door, having passed completely through the window.

I have much more vivid memories of the second big air raid on Coventry in February 1941. A few days earlier I had been sent to take the entrance exam at what was to be my next school, King Henry VIII School in Coventry, the result of which was never heard because it was a casualty of the blitz.

When the bombing started in earnest we were pulled out of bed, dressed and told we were going to the caravan at Kenilworth, always an occasion of great excitement, and we stood in the hall of the house in Earlsdon waiting for what was called a ‘lull’ between the waves of bombers coming over with the monotonous and frightening drone of their engines. My father went down the garden to the garage, to bring the car round to the front of the house. On his return we were about to leave when the phone rang; it was an urgent message calling all doctors to report to the Coventry and Warwickshire Hospital in Gulson Road.

Another lull came, and we scuttled out to the Vauxhall and began the precarious drive with no lights on, by moonlight out to the caravan. As we drove along at very low speed I looked out of the back window and saw huge flames leaping into the sky from the city. We were dropped hastily at the caravan, and my father then drove off into the night to go bravely into that appalling holocaust of fire and bombs in the city. I still have the letter written by the mayor of Coventry thanking him and all doctors for the work they did that night, and for their courage in venturing into that maelstrom of fire, falling buildings and destruction.

Caravans in those days had no insulation or heating, and it was bitterly cold. My mother discussed with the maid how everything containing liquid had frozen solid and broken the bottles it was in. My sister and I were bedded down but woke to hear a car arriving. It was early morning, about 5 a.m. I was told later, and I remember the maid, Gertrude, saying excitedly: ‘He’s in your car, madam, what’s happened to his car?’

It was only later that I learned what had happened. My father arrived at the hospital and saw all the cars in the car park, lit up by the bright moonlight, and thought they would be a prime target for the bombers, so parked his Vauxhall 14 at the back of the hospital. After doing emergency surgery until well after three in the morning he was told to go and rest, but said that he must go back to his family. He was told that he wouldn’t recognise Coventry and wouldn’t know the way, to which he replied that this was nonsense, he had worked there for years and knew every street, but he was to find out how true this advice was. He went out to find that the unfortunate Vauxhall had taken a direct hit. He was able to get in, not realising in the dark how bad the damage was, and even started the engine, but it wouldn’t move. Both rear tyres had gone, the back of the car was on the ground, and when I saw the wreckage, still there weeks later, I wondered how he had even managed to get into it.

After the second Coventry Blitz my father received this letter of thanks from Alderman Herbert for the work done on that terrible night in February 1941.

He had then run and sheltered, run and sheltered, sometimes wondering where on earth he was, and realised that the advice he had been given, that Coventry was unrecognisable, was very true. At one point he took shelter under a railway bridge, and next day it wasn’t there. Two hours after he left, a time bomb went off in the wing of the hospital where he had been working and many of the patients and staff in that wing were killed. He had a lucky escape.

Eventually he reached our house at Earlsdon, and got out my mother’s car. When he had ordered the Vauxhall 14, he also ordered a new Vauxhall 10 for my mother, and they came with consecutive registrations: DKV 744 was the 14, and DKV 745 was the Vauxhall 10. He drove out to the caravan in my mother’s 10, and later received war damage cover for the cost of the destroyed 14. ‘Your new school’s gone up in flames,’ he told me. I was very disappointed because I had looked forward to going there, having presumed that I had passed the entrance test.

The morning found everything covered in heavy frost, and the journey back to Coventry took ages, with many roads closed by unexploded bombs, and at one time what few vehicles there were on the road were diverted into a field and out at the other end.

By the time we reached home, having taken over two hours for the 3-mile journey, I was suffering badly from the cold, and went down with pneumonia.

Many days later, when my father made one of his frequent visits to see how I was getting on, now well on the way to recovery, he said: ‘Of course, you haven’t seen the new car, yet, have you? It’s this colour.’ And he picked up a little grey aeroplane with which I had been playing on the bed. I thought it was a disappointing colour, and was also disappointed to hear that the new car was going to be exactly the same as the old one. In fact, it wasn’t new at all, because you couldn’t get a new car any more. It was a second-hand one, but in good order, and cost the same as the war damage settlement for the old one, £280. He later received a gift (I never heard what it was), sent to all doctors after their work at the hospital on that terrible night, with accompanying letter from Alderman Alfred Herbert.

Much later it was decided that with my baby brother now on the way, and to get away from the risk of further bombing at Coventry, I should be evacuated to my grandmother’s house at Llanbedr in North Wales. My grandfather had died just after the war broke out, but my favourite aunt Gynny was also living there. It’s no surprise that the awful train journey, alone with my gas mask and a little case of clothes, was enough to put me off trains for life. I remember being terribly thirsty but had been told on no account to drink the water from the tap in the toilet, and was so grateful when a lady in the carriage took pity on me and kindly provided a cup of tea from her thermos flask.

Gynny was doing war work, managing the canteen at Cook’s explosives factory at Penrhyndeudraeth, about 10 miles from Llanbedr, so she was able to get the invaluable E petrol coupons and keep motoring in her little Morris 8, in which they met me at Dolgellau station. Gynny played an important part in my motoring life, introducing me to car control and allowing me to hold the steering wheel from the passenger seat. Each afternoon I would walk along the deserted road from Llanbedr until I saw the little Morris coming along, so that I would be able to get in and steer. Later I was able to work the clutch with my right foot and change the gears – an amusing co-operative effort with Gynny officially in charge of the car but operating only the brake pedal and accelerator.

My father’s 1948 Vauxhall 14 in which I gained early experience of driving on Black Rock Sands in North Wales.

She taught me a lot about car control and safe driving, passing on the messages that had been drummed into her by her driving instructor many years before: ‘Expect a fool round every corner’ and ‘never put your head into a hornets’ nest’ meaning that if there’s a congestion ahead such as a narrow gap with a big vehicle coming through, hang back early and keep out of the problem.

In 1941 we had a lovely hot summer, and when term time came I was enrolled at a small school at Harlech, where I made friends and had a lot of fun, as well as beginning to take an interest in learning. Then came that terrible day on 13 August when I learned that my mother had died in childbirth. In those days for a woman to have a baby at over 40 was very dicey. The only good news was that I now had a brother, albeit one eight years younger than me. We packed rapidly and began the long 140-mile journey to Coventry, and I didn’t see Wales again until we went there by train in 1943, losing all our luggage and my bicycle on the way. It all turned up after the first week.

My new school was Emscote Lawn at Warwick, to which I commuted by bus until later I was able to cycle the 7 miles to school. On one foggy morning I was waiting for the bus and heard it coming before I could see it. At the same moment an army truck came the other way going towards Coventry, and as the bus emerged from the fog the two vehicles collided. Bits flew off the vehicles and I saw the bus swerve and come towards me so I turned and ran across the grass, but in my haste I tripped and fell headlong, which was just as well as the damaged bus careered closely past me and into the ditch where I had been planning to take refuge. Later, when statements had to be filled in, I didn’t make a very good witness because how could I possibly say which vehicle had been over its half of the road?

My time at Emscote Lawn was fairly uneventful, but the school was keen on making all the boys become proficient at boxing. One day I was sparring with a boy older and bigger than me, and was taking quite a beating when I managed a hefty punch to his face. There was an ominous ‘click’ and blood spurted from his nose, all over his vest. The fight was stopped and I was declared the winner, which left me quite elated. But next term he didn’t come back to school and I was absolutely appalled when I learned that he had contracted some horrible disease which made his blood turn to water. I felt enormous guilt, thinking that he was losing his blood and I had wasted some of it. Worse, could it be that the hefty punch on his nose had caused his blood problem? In modern times no doubt I would have had counselling, but you didn’t get that at the height of the war in 1943. It came as an enormous relief when years later I learned that his loss of blood after my successful punch would not have made any difference – he had been a victim of that terrible child-killer, leukaemia.

My great interest in driving, kindled in Wales, continued and after we had moved to a larger house farther out of Coventry on the Kenilworth Road, one day I plucked up courage and reversed the Vauxhall out of the garage and brought it round to the front door all ready for my father to get into and drive off to work, but my clutch control with the cold engine was not very good so it came out of the garage in a series of kangaroo leaps! Although my aunt had taught me the elements of steering and braking, no one had explained about how to work the choke and ease the clutch in after the first start of the day – I just did what I had observed. Being only 10 at the time I could hardly reach the pedals, but the technique improved and this became a daily routine. No public roads were involved. However, I did have my first highly illegal drive on the road with the window cleaner, Mr Flood, who came every other Sunday to clean my father’s car. He took me out for a short run at the wheel of his little Austin 7 van, which I found very exciting. My father always said it was bound to rain when Mr Flood came!

After the war ended in 1945, car production slowly restarted, and the rush to buy cars became a tremendous scramble with desperate motorists happy to pay far more for second-hand examples than they had cost new. Doctors were given priority ordering, and in 1946 my father’s new car arrived, a Vauxhall 14 again but in an attractive shade of light blue. By agreement with the distributor, W. Brandish of Coventry, the car stood in the showroom for a week covered in bunting and floral displays, as the first new Vauxhall to be delivered to Coventry since the war. In this year also, at the age of 13, I moved on from Emscote Lawn to Malvern College.

My father ran this car until 1948, when he was able to take advantage again of the priority ordering for doctors, and another Vauxhall 14 arrived, this time boasting a radio and a heater. The price obtained for the 1946 car was £650, nearly twice the cost of the new one.

It was in this car that I gathered quite a lot of driving ‘practice’ on holiday in Wales, on the concrete strips of an abandoned wartime establishment near Harlech and on the beach at Black Rock Sands, so I arranged to take the driving test on the way back from school at the end of the term at Malvern. The nearest driving test centre was at Worcester, so rather grudgingly my father agreed that he would come to the school to collect me, take me to Worcester and wait while I underwent the test.

I thought I was doing quite well, having managed the three-point turn very neatly and responded quickly to the emergency test, but when the examiner told me to take the next right turn I did exactly what he said, realising too late that I was about to go past ‘No Entry’ signs, the wrong way down a one-way street. The resultant fail was well-deserved, and being only four days past my 17th birthday I’d had hardly any experience in complete control of a car on the public road – that journey from Malvern to Worcester had been my first real drive. In those days you could take the test again almost as soon as you wanted; I did so within a few days and was the proud holder of a driving licence when I went back to school for the next term.

There was an exciting change of plan in 1950: instead of going to Wales on holiday as usual, we would take a couple of weeks at a rented seaside house at Porthleven in Cornwall, and on the way down we would break the journey at Lynmouth to show solidarity after the disastrous floods three months earlier. The scenes of devastation – wrecked buildings and cars, and the high-water mark some 15ft above the ground in places – were appalling. But we were to have our own small disaster.

We all went down to Lynmouth Harbour, and then my stepmother, sister and brother opted to go up to Lynton on the gravity water-powered cable car, while my father and I would drive up in the Vauxhall. About halfway up Lynton hill, the car suddenly lost power and came to a jerky halt, well out in the middle of the road. My father revved the engine, but the car wouldn’t move either forwards or backwards. He trudged off up the hill to get help while I remained behind doing a traffic patrol job, halting the down-coming cars and giving priority to the ones grinding their way up the hill. Cars didn’t make light work of Lynton Hill in those days.

Eventually the breakdown truck arrived, connected up the tow rope and at first couldn’t move the car, but then with lots of revving and smoke there was suddenly a tremendous bang and the car started moving. We were towed to the garage at Lynton, where in due course the verdict was that the gearbox had no oil in and had seized up. My father had taken the car in for a service before the holiday, and the garage to which he had entrusted it had drained the gearbox and forgotten to refill it.

We were confined to Lynmouth for an extended stay, as it was Easter, and a car had to be sent to Barnstaple to collect a replacement gearbox. My brother and I took the opportunity to stand for hours watching the hill climb, which was one of the tests for the Land’s End trial. Eventually we were under way again, but the journey to Cornwall was very tedious as we were told the new gearbox needed to be run in almost as carefully as a new car, with 30mph not to be exceeded for the first 250 miles.    

In subsequent school holidays I enjoyed driving my father on his rounds, though he was always a very nervous passenger and I suspect did not enjoy this very much. I would read while he was in the patient’s house, and one day he asked what I was reading and I showed him the cover, Memoirs of a Fox-hunting Man by Siegfried Sassoon. He then said that he always thought someone must be very egotistical to write the story of his own life. I took this very much to heart, so this is not intended to be a book about me. No one but my nearest and dearest would be interested in that. Instead, it’s about the cars and the wonderful – sometimes exciting, sometimes amusing – motoring adventures that it has been my good fortune to experience over more than half a century.

TWO

MORRIS 8

I noticed the clouds of blue smoke trailing along behind us

When my mother died in childbirth in 1941, my aunt Gynny sold the Morris 8 in which I had ‘driven’ so many miles steering from the passenger seat and working the clutch pedal with my right foot, and she took over my mother’s Vauxhall 10. After the war she was able to get priority car ordering because of her essential work running the Coventry chain of British Restaurants and purchased a 1947 Vauxhall 12. After I had passed my driving test there were many opportunities when I was allowed to drive the little Vauxhall 12, which seemed to me at the time an absolutely delightful car. It had a 4-cylinder 1.5-litre engine and three-speed gearbox, and like the bigger Vauxhall it was unusual in having torsion-bar independent front suspension.

After waiting five years, her pre-war fiancée was demobbed and she married. Subsequently I was saddened to hear that the little Vauxhall was to be sold and the money was to be used to purchase two second-hand cars, one for the two newly-weds, now living in a bungalow in Matlock, Derbyshire, and the other for my grandmother to use. She had now moved back from Wales to the Midlands and taken over the house of a deceased recluse relative in Rowington, near Warwick. As she couldn’t drive, and had no intention of learning, a retired handyman living nearby would drive her, and – joy of joys – I would be able to do so during the school holidays.

But first we had to sell the Vauxhall 12, and I was asked to get it ready for auction. I was appalled to see the decrepit, filthy state into which the Vauxhall 12 had been allowed to fall. It was also neglected mechanically, as I found when I used the brakes for the first time and found that the pedal went almost down to the floor.

But I worked away at it and made its black paintwork shine like new, while half an hour’s work with a screwdriver on the ratchet adjusters all round made a tremendous difference to the brakes. The result of my efforts, combined with the shortage of cars, was that it fetched £750 at the Measham car auction, more than twice what it had cost new, and I was rewarded with a most welcome and generous cash present for my work.

I was now eagerly looking forward to acting as buying agent to acquire a suitable car for my grandmother, and thought we could do quite well with half the proceeds – around £375; but it was not to be so easy. Gynny was now supporting a husband who had effectively gone back to school to make up for his lack of education, with the ambition – later achieved – of becoming a schoolmaster, so no more than £200 was to be spent on the replacement car, and it was felt that a Morris 8, like she had run before, would be ideal. After all, I was told, the Morris had been very well built because Bill Morris, later Lord Nuffield, had been determined to make it better than the Ford 8.

My aunt’s 1949 Vauxhall 12 provided valuable driving experience until sadly it was sold in 1951 for over twice the price of a new one.

Adverts were duly scoured, and dealers visited, as I cycled all over Coventry to track down something that would meet the constraints, and eventually found a 1936 Morris 8 with an asking price of £175, advertised privately by a sheet-metal worker. He agreed to the car being taken to Rowington for the approval of the lady, and his son came with me. My grandmother was immediately happy with the deal and wrote a cheque for the car straight away. But I was secretly worried about the amount of oil it was using, having noticed the clouds of blue smoke trailing along behind us.

One didn’t have to wait for a cheque to be cleared in those days, and after dropping off the son at his terraced home in Coventry I drove back home for a late lunch. Insurance was arranged with a quick telephone call and there was a bit of tax still to run. I felt quite elated that I had my first car at the age of 17, although of course it wasn’t mine at all. Responsibility began to dawn when I pulled out the oil dipstick and found just a little bit of black sludge on the bottom.

Frequent journeys followed, and on return from school for the holidays always one of the first expeditions was to cycle over to my grandmother’s, get the little Morris out of the garage, and take her to the shops at Shrewley, about 3 miles away. There was a garage there, and petrol rationing had ended though it was still ‘pool’ petrol. National Benzole used to advertise that ‘The return of the branded spirit is a thriller which has yet to be written’. After these expeditions it would always be: ‘Oh dear, it looks as if it’s going to rain; perhaps I could leave my bike here and take the Morris and then I’d be able to take you shopping again next week!’ There would also be the occasional excitingly long journey to Matlock to see Gynny and the new husband. The Morris trailed smoke all the way, and a fully topped up sump always needed 2 pints of oil for the 70-mile journey back.

The Morris 8 not only had a sunroof, but you could open the windscreen letting in a lovely stream of cool air, and on one occasion when I was driving along with the screen open a wasp came in, hit me on the face and then started buzzing furiously around me. I learned the hard way that a driver must never allow attention to be diverted from the road, and after frantic efforts to fend the wasp away I looked up just in time to avoid mounting the kerb and possibly hitting a lamp post. The little Morris was not the most stable car in which to make a violent swerve, but it didn’t roll over as seemed likely at one stage.

On another occasion I noticed that the brakes seemed very spongy, and next time I used them the pedal went nearly down to the floor. Investigating at home, I felt that there must be a master cylinder somewhere, but couldn’t find it anywhere under the bonnet. Carefully following the course of the brake pipes I located it, under the floor on the driver’s side with a small access hole above. Topping up and bleeding to get air out of the system returned the brakes to their normal, rather borderline adequacy. The oil-consumption problem remained, although I tried a Holts product called Piston Seal, intended to bridge the gap of worn-out cylinder bores; it made no difference. The Morris ran on for several years, always trailing oil smoke, but was eventually sold.

Long afterwards, on one of our visits to the old family home at Llanbedr in North Wales, we found it abandoned on the road from Llanbedr to Mochras, still bearing the registration BRR 74, which in later years might have had a lot of value. How it had come to finish up there I never learned, but it was extraordinary that the same make and model of car should have finally come to rest so near to where I had enjoyed my first experiences of car control more than twenty years earlier.

THREE

AUSTIN 10

As we came down the hill towards Bellevue Terrace, the headlights lit up a policeman sitting on the wall. I was terrified

In my five years at Malvern College I am afraid I did not shine very well, my most notable achievement being that I was the first – perhaps the only – boy to be beaten by the headmaster for the heinous crime of driving a car.

On the rather rare occasions when my parents came up to take me out it was an established routine that I would take the Vauxhall 14 back to the school on the Saturday evening, which saved my father from the two-way trip of taking me there and then driving out again on the Sunday morning to collect me to join them for breakfast. They always chose to stay at the Broomhill Hotel on the other side of the Malvern Hills, my teetotal father valuing the fact that it was unlicensed.

In my last term at Malvern a nasty little directive from the headmaster appeared on the notice board to the effect that ‘No boy may drive a motor car during term time.’ It was generally felt that this was a mean, jealous reaction to the sight of my friend the Earl of Suffolk and Berkshire – always called simply ‘Suffolk’ – who had been seen driving his mother’s magnificent Rolls-Royce in the previous term. Suffolk’s father had been killed while trying to disarm an unexploded bomb during the war. It was a ridiculous restriction to impose on young men who were then 17 or 18 and old enough to serve their country driving army lorries or even flying aircraft.

I never found out for certain who it was that had spotted and reported me, but I suspected the culprit was a master by the name of George Chesterton, who was a stalwart supporter of Malvern. He died at the age of 90 in November 2012, so all is forgiven!

The headmaster was an unimaginative, miserable man with the appropriate name Gaunt, always given the equally apt nickname ‘The Goat’. The beating when it came was not severe, and I came out of the headmaster’s study thinking what an absolute prat he was.

I would have deserved the punishment much more, and even no doubt expulsion, had an earlier exploit been discovered. It involved me and my close friend, Don. We jokingly modelled ourselves on characters in the Daily Mail cartoon strip Rip Kirby. Don always called me ‘The Boss’ and he was the sidekick ‘Curtains’. The exploit was all very secret, but the date and time were agreed.

At 1 a.m. I slipped out of bed, went to the washrooms and put on the dark trousers, gym shoes and jumper I had put ready, and went down to my study. There was a short wait and I thought Curtains had chickened out, but he was reliable and silently sidled into the study. The plan had been agreed, and the first thing to check was the side door out of School House. The main doors and gates at the back were always locked at night, but the one and only alternative access was the side door, also bolted and locked by key. When we crept up the side stairs we found the huge iron key still in the lock – so the plan was on. We slipped the noisy bolts across, took the key with us and locked the door from the outside so that anyone trying it from inside would hopefully not feel it necessary to pull the bolts across, and stepped out into the moonlit night. It was June, so it was not cold.

Keeping close to the wall and not making a sound, we slipped past the front entrance of School House, then along the pavement past No. 9 House and the music centre. We had agreed to try the Abbey Hotel first, and if no luck there, Malvern offered many more possible hotels to visit. But we were in luck, and when we reached the Abbey Hotel after only about five minutes with the streets completely deserted, Curtains whispered to me: ‘The keys are in this one.’

It was an old Austin, I think 8 or more likely 10hp, parked on the hotel forecourt nose on to the wall. I climbed in, ran a quick check on the controls, pulled out the choke and released the handbrake. With awful crunching noises of the tyres on the gravel, the car started to move backwards with Curtains pushing, and I steered it out into the middle of the road. There was a junction to the right, where the road ran steeply downhill – Malvern is all hills – and as I steered down there the car quickly gathered momentum. A bump start in gear was the plan, but when I tried to move the lever into top gear there was the most awful noise of grating gears. A quick try into third had the same effect. I braked quickly to a halt and Curtains came running up to the driver’s door, which I still had not closed to avoid the noise.

‘We’ve picked a dud ’un, Boss,’ he exclaimed, but I said: ‘No, it’s alright, we’re well away from the hotel; I’ll try the starter.’ The engine fired immediately, and Curtains ran round to the passenger side and jumped in. We moved gently off down the hill and after a little while closed the doors.

It wasn’t the intention to go far – just a quick circuit of the town, now with the headlights on, but as we came down the hill towards Bellevue Terrace, the lights shone on a policeman sitting on the wall. I was terrified – if he signalled us to stop, what should we do? Drive on and make a run for it, or stop and try to bluff it out with the story we had rehearsed about borrowing the car from our Aunt, Mrs Lauderdale who was staying at the Abbey Hotel. We had also agreed that if we looked like being arrested, I would wait for the most hopeful opportunity and then say: ‘It looks like curtains’, which would be the signal for us both to try to break free and run for it. We were both good runners and reckoned we could shake off any pursuit. We would head uphill, away from the school.

Fortunately it did not come to that; the policeman remained sitting on the wall and we motored quietly past and on down the hill towards the Abbey Hotel.

Just before we reached the hotel I stopped the engine, doused the lights, and we coasted straight in by moonlight across the forecourt and into the same space the car had been in before. I left the car exactly as it had been, in neutral with the handbrake lightly applied and the bunch of keys hanging from the ignition switch. We tried to close the doors quietly by pushing them to, but had to slam them, which we did in unison making only one sharp clunk.

There was still no sign of anyone and we hurriedly made our way back to School House. On the way we discussed what would await us. Will the Erg – Mr Erskine, our dour Scottish housemaster – be standing there with arms crossed saying: ‘Well, Bleed’n, and what have y’ bin up to?’ So it was with trembling fingers that I inserted the great key into the lock, turned it, and pushed the side door open, to find with enormous relief that there was no one there. We returned the key to its rightful position, locked and bolted the door, and shook hands before returning to our respective dormitories. ‘Not a word to anyone,’ I whispered, and Curtains nodded. Often such escapades had been revealed to the authorities by careless bragging about them. In the washrooms I changed back into my pyjamas and crept back to bed. Almost at once, I heard the school clock strike two. We had been away less than an hour, but it seemed as if we had been out all night.

Later, after I had left the school, I learned that Curtains did tell a few trusted friends about our little act of bravado, and I learned that someone’s opinion of me had risen enormously on hearing about it. It was one way to achieve fame!

FOUR

HILLMAN 10 CABRIOLET

This car nearly killed me twice

As schooldays came to an end and I had to choose a career, jobs which I wanted to do – notably journalism or engineering in the motor industry – were dismissed as inappropriate and I found myself remorselessly nudged into following my father to be a doctor. But my heart was never in it, and although I gained the necessary Higher School Certificate, the equivalent of later A levels, and admission to King’s College, London, and Westminster Medical School, it all fell apart after I failed the first MB exam. I was then 19, and too old for deferment of call-up for National Service, which was at that time absolutely compulsory.

By mistake, everyone on the course at King’s had been issued automatically with a certificate of deferment of call-up for a further year. Whoever sent out these certificates had not anticipated the possibility that some students – like me – might fail the first year exam. The result was that, although too old for the course, I had been given deferment from National Service, but by the time this mistake was noticed I was going over the whole first year course again at Coventry University. The authorities wrote to me saying that I should take the medical, which was essential to see if one was fit enough for National Service, then apply for delayed call-up. I was very suspicious about what that implied. Each letter took about three weeks, and my reply always at least four, each time pointing out that on the strength of the certificate of deferment it was too late to talk of rescinding it and making me give up my studies.

The hood on the Hillman Cabriolet could be folded fully down or in the De Ville position.

I was wrongly advised that I had better submit, so I took the medical and was passed as A1 fit. Events followed exactly as I had feared. I had already passed the physics and chemistry sections of the exam, and felt pretty certain to pass the biology, which was my strong subject. My father was furious and submitted an appeal, which was heard at Birmingham and turned down. The very next day the call-up papers arrived, and I had to report to RAMC Crookham two weeks later. This was the very day that I should have been sitting the final exam of the first-year medical course, after which I would have been under the age limit for the next stage of the studies. The absurdity is that within months the government cut the period of National Service from two years to one, and made it much easier for anyone with a reasonably valid reason to apply for exemption. Shortly afterwards, National Service was abolished. But for me it came too late.

The basic training in the RAMC convinced me that I wasn’t cut out to be a doctor anyway, and certainly didn’t want to go back to all that study when I came out of the army. What I really wanted to do was journalism. I had always enjoyed writing and had a keen interest in English.

After basic training I was posted to Southern Command Headquarters at Wilton, near Salisbury, where I was appointed assistant to Major General Murphy, the Deputy Director of Medical Services for Southern Command. It was very much a clerking job, which I had achieved because of my ability to type and write shorthand, and I quite enjoyed my time there. However, I was keen to try for a commission; at the same time I applied for transfer to the Royal Army Service Corps, which meant transport and was where my real interests lay.

There had been a competition in a now-defunct newspaper called The Recorder, inviting students to write attacking a university resolution that if another war came students would refuse to fight for their country. I won the prize, which helped to boost the funds in my Post Office savings account, and I was eager to buy my first car; but although I had £65, which was quite a lot of money in those days, you didn’t get much of a car at anything less than £100. Each Saturday afternoon was spent, usually with my friend Alan Crost, going on the bus to Salisbury, only 3 miles away, to see what the dealers had on offer. For several weeks there was nothing any good that I could afford, and then one day the dealer who by then knew me by sight, called out: ‘Terraplane’ and pointed to a huge American monstrosity, which I wouldn’t have wanted at any price. But I was interested in the car behind it.

First registered in 1934, it was a Hillman 10 Cabriolet in yellow and black. You could fold the hood back to the main support rail in what was known as the De Ville position. Then, using a winding handle not unlike a starting handle, the hood could be fully wound down behind the rear seat. The price was £55, and in those days one didn’t bargain with the dealer. I agreed to have it and would pick it up the following Saturday. This car would nearly kill me twice.

One of the formalities was that I needed official permission to keep a car at the quarters, and I duly submitted an application to see the Regimental Sergeant Major. When I explained that I wanted to apply for permission to keep a car at the barracks, he exclaimed: ‘What are you, Private Bladon? Are you a man of private means? First you want to be made an officer, and now you want to have a car here.’ I explained that I just had a small amount of savings and wanted to spend it on a car.