Performance Coaching E-Book

Angus McLoed PhD

• Herausgeber: Crown House Publishing
• Kategorie: Fachliteratur
• Sprache: Englisch

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2003

Beschreibung

Fast, accessible and clearly written, Performance Coaching is comprehensive and rich in real examples of real executives achieving real success in real-life situations. Even experienced coaches can find key tips and tools that will enhance their performance. " A practical book with wonderful tips, ideas and perspectives." Kriss Akabusi MBE MA

Leseprobe

Praise forPerformance Coaching

“Angus has done excellent work, elegantly integrating and adapting the skills of Neuro-Linguistic Programming into the process of coaching. And it’s an enjoyable read!”Shelle Rose Charvet, author ofWords That Change Minds

“This book gives any executive coach, as well as all managers for that matter, an extended frame of reference for finding new and creative tools for success in working with clients. This is stuff you can use. Examples are both inspiring and reassuringly practical. Angus McLeod has produced a book that deserves many users and a wide audience.”Julian Russell, Managing Director, PPD Consulting Ltd., executive coaching specialists, and co-author ofAlpha Leadership: Tools for Business Leaders Who Want More From Life

“With this book Angus McLeod sets a high standard of teaching by story telling. His examples of coaching dialogues serve so well to illustrate how to skilfully handle many coaching situations. The layout and subheadings make them accessible to those who want to dip in and out of the book as required. I enjoyed it and learned from it.”John Whitmore, author of Coaching for Performance

“This book contains a wealth of knowledge on its subject. The author clearly has extensive experience of coaching and demonstrates this expertise effectively in the book.

“The major part of the book is a wide-ranging collection of cases to illustrate various coaching applications - an approach that really brings the subject to life. The cases are concise, yet clear and informative and each brings out one or more specific points about coaching processes and issues.

“I would recommend this book to people wanting to extend their coaching skills and to explore a wider range of approaches.”Carol Harris, author of Consult Yourself: The NLP Guide to Being a Management Consultant

“Performance Coaching is an in-depth overview of the whole field of coaching and mentoring. It describes a broad range of coaching models and draws on the best practice from each. The practical examples, useful tips and mini-transcripts will benefit those new to coaching, and profit seasoned old timers as well. We highly recommend this book.” James Lawley and Penny Tompkins, authors ofMetaphors in Mind: Transformation through Symbolic Modelling

“The author has achieved the near-impossible - writing a book that demonstrates the potential of coaching as an effective and ethical instrument for change and gives a flavour of its depth, richness and subtlety, but is nevertheless accessible, comprehensible and usable for pro and novice alike. This title deserves to sit - hopefully well-thumbed - alongside the very limited number of internationally respected books on coaching.”David Hoad, Coach and HR Consultant, The Kingsmoor Consultancy

“Angus McLeod’s Performance Coaching is an immensely practical aid to coaching and works at a level of detail - both in terms of language and process - that will allow HR professionals and managers alike, even with little formal coaching experience, to get to the heart of issues and resolve them elegantly and respectfully.”Anne Thompson, Group HR Director, Parity Plc

“Effective coaches can make the difference between good and great business leaders. This book is packed with practical examples, tools and tips to help the coach in this task - highly recommended.”Anne Deering, Director, AT Kearney

“As the field of coaching continues to discover the extensive skill-based models of NLP, Performance Coaching by McLeod will become one of the foundational books. This how-to manual provides an excellent use of NLP models and skills for coaching. I like it also because it is further enhanced by integrating much of Gallwey’s Inner Game approach.”L. Michael Hall, PhD, Coaching Conversations and Meta-Coaching

Performance Coaching

The Handbook for Managers, H. R. Professionals and Coaches

Angus I McLeod, PhD

Dedication

Diane Fahy Browning (1948–2002)

This book is dedicated to the life of Diane Fahy and to her extended family and circle, who keep her memory in my mind as well as in my heart.

Sometimes one is privileged to meet and develop a friendship that persists through all changes and that is characterized by so much understanding, commitment, and unconditional love that one is regularly in awe of it. My friendship with Diane was like that for over twenty years. Many others enjoyed the same level of friendship and love that she effused. Diane influenced and affected a multitude of people in and around Delaware, where she settled. She captivated people with her acute attention and her laughter. She was a model for positive mindsets in the face of considerable adversity, both in life and in her dying.

Diane did not have the tools of the coach as described and illustrated in this book, but she had the instinctive qualities of a fine coach. She was a ready listener and she cared passionately about people, their targets and their aspirations. She dared to challenge and risk a relationship if she felt that a friend might be moving in harm’s way, away from their targets and a healthy future. She saw people as holistic entities; she nurtured and underpinned hopes; she helped to sketch the dreams from which plans and targets would arise. She worked from a heart filled with love and with a mind passionate and hopeful about the human spirit.

A biography about the life of Diane Fahy would make a valuable and inspiring contribution to literature, but I offer this work to her memory instead. After she died, many people said, independently, that an angel had departed this world. I know her to be still with us. A spirit like hers does not die.

Contents

Title Page

Dedication

Acknowledgments

Preface

Chapter OneIntroduction

Sources of inspiration

Defining coaching

Principal instruments of the coach

Definitions of coaching

Chapter TwoCoaching Issues—New Skills

Communication

Who’s the boss?

Feedback

Presenting

Interpersonal conflict

Stuck in a corner

Inner conflicts

Influencing

Chapter ThreeDrivers for Change

Internal dialogue and self-judgments

Emotions

Authenticity

Negativity

Limiting beliefs and rules

Lacking compulsion to change

Hierarchy of logical levels

Walking the logical levels

Motivation

Chapter FourCoaching Contract and Practice

Freelance coaching

Employing external coaches: strengths and weaknesses

Internal coaching provision

To whom is the coach responsible?

Selling coaching internally

Letting coachees know what to expect before sessions

First meeting: preparing for work

Scene setting and recapping expectations

Logistical needs for coaching sessions

Behaviors during coaching sessions

Neutrality

Empathetic projection and expressed sympathy

Pacing and leading

Breathing

Exquisite attention

Sensing

Instinct

Reflecting back issues and language

Ending sessions

Out-of-session work for the coachee

Subsequent sessions work for the coach

Chapter FiveDevelopmental Models

Flexibility of coaching approach in organizations

Clean language

Symbolic modeling

Trance

Conversational coaching

Provocative coaching

The STEPPPA coaching method

A footnote on personality profiling models

Thinking preferences: filters on our world

Chapter SixCoaching Development

Mindsets for the coach

Inner-game coaching

Mindsets

Underpinning values and beliefs

Servant leadership

People whispering

Facilitation

Coaching in groups

Self-coaching

Coach as coachee and observer

Changing coaching parameters

Two on one

Practice groups

Inspiration

Academic resources

Chapter SevenOther Coaching Tools and Interventions

Questioning

Context-free questioning

Virtual timelines

Metaphor and symbols

Storytelling

Chapter EightCoaching Pitfalls and How to Avoid Them

Psychological projection

Countertransference and inspiration

Separateness

Interpretation

Transference

Coachee attraction

Other issues in the coaching dynamic

Ethics

Keen beginnings

Pressing on

Chapter Nine Mentoring and E-Mentoring

Mentoring

E-Mentoring

Glossary of Terms

Appendix One A Brief History of Coaching by Steve Breibart

Appendix Two Mindsets for the Coachee

Appendix Three Mentee Feedback to Ask Max

Appendix Four Code of Conduct and Methods for E-Mentors

Appendix Five E-Mentor Questionnaire: An Example

Appendix Six Web Resources

Bibliography

Further reading

About the Author

Indexes

1. Linguistic tips

2. Tools

3. Main Index

Copyright

Acknowledgments

The idea to write this book came through the development of my practice and ideas about coaching. There are many friends and colleagues in and at the periphery of coaching who have influenced and helped develop that thinking and who have provided me with opportunities for growth and change. These include Denise Fryer, Sue Knight, Lynne Kerry, Carol Harris, James Lawley, Penny Tompkins, Judith Lowe, Shelle Rose Charvet, Julian Russell, Anne Deering, Robert Dilts, John Abulafia, and my colleagues in the Coaching Foundation, Steve Breibart and Sir John Whitmore. I am also grateful to Steve for his paper on the historical evolution of coaching and for many Web references given in the appendices.

A number of highly respected and productive people offered to read and offer comments on my drafts and they each have my gratitude and heartfelt thanks. They are Adrienne Carpenter, Angela O’Connell, Anne Deering, Carol Harris, James Lawley, Jean Kelly, Jill Dann, Paul Barber, Penny Tompkins, Shelle Rose Charvet, and Tim Nottidge. Of special note are the contributions of Anne Thompson, Peter Young, Sue Noble and David Hoad, whose comments proved invaluable.

Helen Kinsey helped structure the book and gave me confidence in the final draft. It was wonderful to have her support for this first edition. I am grateful to Terry Fieland, the editor at the leading NLP journal, Anchor Point, who agreed to make this work the subject of their first-ever book serialization.

When it comes to writing a new book, the writer typically embarks on a solitary expedition in the certain knowledge that he can return to the comfort of those who support, love, and inspire. In writing this book, I wish particularly to acknowledge and thank Obie Jane Mitchell, who has total belief in my projects and who has helped me, in recent years, always to achieve what I set out to do. Her love and belief in me are exemplary.

Alison Adcock inspires the creative spirit and its expression (as so wonderfully demonstrated for the public, in her art) and she continues to quietly support me, steady and true to friendship. Other friends inspire even in their absence; knowing that their love persists is a great comfort. Those who knowingly, or otherwise, contributed to this book include Anne Robinson, Chris Stumpff, Frances Hall, Ian Brown, Janet and Laszlo Boksanyi, Jill Greenacre, John Sayle, Maureen Steele, Michelle Evans, and Stephen Carroll.

I continue to enjoy the encouragement and support of my long-term friend and co-director at Best Performance Ltd., Neil Davidson. Neil has the most infectious optimism I have ever witnessed and inspires success. Jean Kelly, my co-director at the Learning Exchange, is always encouraging and offered me good advice on the script.

I have been fortunate to have the love and friendship of Dr. Adrienne Carpenter, who offered me a perfect space to write this book. Adrienne provided a peaceful and beautiful environment; understanding and support for the habits of the author who is committed to writing (and exhibits the ebbs and flows of inspiration); and refreshments and diversions when the author left his inner world and returned to the world of people.

I thank my daughter, Alex, for her willingness to have an example of coaching described in this book. Her decisions sometimes make me fearful, but I am very proud of her self-determination, persistence, and myriad talents.

Last, but not least, I wish to give credit to all those who give me numerous opportunities to coach and to be coached. A coach would be severely limited with no experience, from the receiving end, of the processes and tools of coaching; I have been fortunate to experience the skilled interventions of numerous professional and trainee coaches, some of them working from entirely new orientations and experiences. To all of these people, I offer my thanks and love.

Angus McLeod, PhD Philadelphia

Preface

The executive coach is a fabulously valuable facilitator of change. The coach is not the player, but an instrument, in service to the art of the coachee. The aim is to encourage the coachee to extend and explore their frame of reference, to help them find new and motivating tools for success in all they do and, with luck, inspire them to continue traits of self-learning that endure over time.

A frame of reference characterizes the nature and extent of the coachee’s reality, and the coach intervenes to help the coachee discover new meaning and potential by stretching their frame of reference, extending their inner representation of the world. The coachee thus comes to new perspectives and a fresh frame of reference. These sometimes include a new perception of who they really are and their true purpose in being—hugely motivating perceptions.

Over a time, coachees open up to learning in new and inspiring ways, to self-coach, to self-challenge and redefine their own frame of reference. These new skills of mental agility assist them in the effectiveness of their thinking and their actions in other contexts.

The true coach observes miracles as incredible as the transformation that leads the tiny stirrings of the chrysalis into the bright magnificence of a butterfly. If one has not felt privileged and humbled in the act of coaching, one has probably not yet attained the mantle of the true coach.

Many of our trainees come to coaching bursting with questions for their coachees. They bombard them, hoping to find a weakness of either perception or thinking that they may attack and cure. The performances are breathtaking for all concerned! The transformation of trainee to coach is evidenced when the direction and pace of the session seems to be coachee-led. The coach spends more time listening rather than worrying about their next intervention.

Very few people exhibit the persona of the natural coach as evidenced by their inherent qualities and behaviors. Most of us have limitations. It is hoped that this book will help convince readers that we may still excel as coaches—by preparing our mindsets for coaching, by practice and experience. Coaching is not a soft option. The coachee is very likely to have periods of great discomfort while their beliefs and actions are challenged—this is often where the most dramatic changes in perception, motivation and performance arise.

Our initial motivations to coach may be myriad: a desire to make a difference, to lead, to be a rounded and professional manager and communicator, to look self-assured and worldly. However, if in reading this book I do not leave you with a shifted motivation for coaching, then I may have failed. This is because I believe that coaches need to learn that their desires to do something and make a difference need to be directed at themselves and not at their coachees. A coach with inner targets can make assumptions about the inner world of their coachee and distract that coachee from their most influencing path. Ultimately, I suggest, the best work is done by the coachee and not by the coach, even though the coach is more or less a catalyst for that.

It is easy to feel compelled by one’s own motivation. When the coachee learns how to flex their mental resources, they develop competencies that are not limited to the issue at hand. By developing themselves, the coachees use their learning in many other contexts. True coaching unleashes the potential of the coachee for success and leadership in all contexts, both in work and outside.

Self-directed solutions lead to motivated targets. It’s success in self-motivated targets that leads to sustained self-motivation. This is where coaching makes a value-added contribution to successful management.

Chapter One

Introduction

This book is accessible to managers wanting a resource where they may learn and access information easily. Human-resources (HR) professionals will find information helpful in deciding whether to establish a coaching or mentoring function, whether to insource, outsource, or use support strategies that could include e-mentoring (using an intranet or extranet). The book should appeal to both the novice coach trying to get a practical handle on coaching skills and to the more experienced coach wanting to widen their knowledge and to refresh the use of tools that have become rusty.

In trying to achieve an accessible book for all managers, I hope that I have provided an adequate structure, a functional contents list, and a detailed index to satisfy all but the most demanding and methodical expert. I apologize now for the word “coachee”. Although I dislike this word, I have been unable to find something well regarded and more acceptable without introducing a new term. The word “client” will not do, since, in the corporate context, the client is always the party that pays.

Where a newly introduced tool or idea is mentioned in the text it is shown in bold, and this signifies that a box containing related information is nearby. This allows any reader who needs more information to access it while allowing other readers to continue reading, without having to break their concentration. I hope this also allows more expert readers with specific skill sets to skip sections (when they are already familiar with specific tools).

Other emboldened text, but italicized, is there to highlight linguistic tips that appear in the text. Linguistic tips are referred to in their own index for ease of reference.

Necessarily, many of the issues given as examples are incomplete: they are there merely to illustrate ways of approaching an issue and are not a complete transcript of all interventions. As a consequence, not all the issues raised in a given example are complete.

Many of the tools that are illustrated in the examples can be used in different contexts. It’s hoped that, by reading through examples, you will become familiar with the tools and language of coaching and will build on your successes to use the tools fluidly. The choice of which tool to use in any given situation becomes more obvious with familiarity and practice.

Following these introductory sections, Chapters Two and Three are set out to be highly accessible to managers and novice coaches wanting easy access to practical coaching. Examples reflect typical issues seen in coaching practice. These offer a readable way of introducing the language and tools of coaching. Chapter Two looks at the most typical issues in coaching and Chapter Three follows this format to highlight typical drivers for change.

HR professionals with coaching experience may like to go directly to Chapter Four to gain insights into how coaching is applied in organizations.

In Chapter Five we look at a selection of methods taken from bigger developmental models that either are, or can be, applied to coaching. I have been highly selective in choosing those that I use or have seen to be highly effective. This is necessarily an individualistic offering. I also introduce my own STEPPPA coaching model (“STEPPPA” is an acronym whose meaning we will discuss later).

Chapter Six looks primarily at the development of the coach, drawing upon a number of philosophies and methods that underpin the practice of executive coaching.

Chapter Seven is unapologetically a place where I have put other background information that has not appeared elsewhere. This includes some additional information about questioning methods, and methods that are not invariably part of the coach’s resource, such as storytelling, totems, and archetypes.

Chapter Eight considers some of the pitfalls of coaching and problems that may arise in coaching practice, including psychological projection and sexual attraction.

Chapter Nine is a brief resource about mentoring, and particularly e-mentoring, taken mainly from my experiences with Ask Max, our Internet-based mentoring service. I also mention telephone mentoring as an adjunct to coaching.

The appendices contain valuable information about the mechanics of setting up the coaching space, relationships between coach and coachee and between mentor and mentee, feedback sheet, code of ethics, and a brief history of coaching and mentoring, as well as a resource for additional reading and Web-based information, including some of the courses offered by institutions. Unless stated, I do not endorse any Web-based resource or any training course in this work.

Some of my readers will find issues that are close to something that they face themselves. The solutions to those issues were specific to the individuals concerned and not likely to be the best solution for anyone else. Coaching, as opposed to giving advice, encourages the development of coachee-specific solutions that are motivating and appropriate for them. This also highlights the separation between coaching and mentoring: coaching inspires internally motivated solutions; mentoring invariably offers externally derived solutions. In this book, I offer a variant on mentoring that I think offers the best of both worlds, and integrates them.

My books are designed to be picked up and read from any page, so the indexes are constructed to make the reader’s life easier. If the structure of the book does not delight you, then do please look at the contents list and indexes! I hope you will enjoy reading this book.

Sources of inspiration

I was drawn into coaching from counseling. For years previously, I was a sound ear to many; on numerous occasions hearing the life-stories and traumas of people I had not previously spoken to. This was long before I had a clue what to say to them. One time, someone I had never spoken with, not even by way of an introduction, provided me with a ten-minute medical history!

My approach then was to listen. Often I would then mentor them by offering solutions. It therefore came as a miracle to me that people can make improved progress if you let them find their own solutions. A workshop within our course called “Power of Silence in Coaching” produces miracles that are testaments to the cathartic potential of coachees, if only coaches will provide a space for that. I was naturally pulled further into person-centered intervention and undertook co-counseling training. NLP (neurolinguistic programming) has also contributed heavily. NLP provides great tools for change but tools do not make a good coach. The principalinstruments, used elegantly, provide this. As the father of modern coaching methods, Tim Gallwey (1999) said, “Principles are more important than tools.”

My linguistic background was enhanced by the work of David Grove (“clean language”) and then of Penny Tompkins and James Lawley (“symbolic modeling”—Lawley and Tompkins, 2000). These three people have wonderfully presented us with simple and effective models for exploring the metaphoric world and finding compelling solutions.

Taken together, I provide a source of expertise in the principal instruments of coaching that will underpin any other skillset or toolbox you may wish to apply, whether illustrated here or not. When the principal instruments are coupled with coaching mindsets and the many tools illustrated, you will witness stunning change and performance that may make your heart swell.

Defining coaching

Many people have failed to define coaching because when they look at the market they find many varieties of “coach” and many techniques. Some of these techniques seem radically different in approach. People also discover that many coaches work from just one discipline in their work, while others, myself included, work from a range of disciplines. They may find provocative coaches, transactional-analysis coaches, life coaches, emotional-intelligence coaches, and so on. How can one make sense of all these approaches? I hope to help. We shall start by introducing the core elements that underpin best practice in all coaching methods. It is easy to imagine that a new set of tools sold by one or other brand will make you a coach. They will not. Without a foundation in principles, an appropriate mental attitude, and linguistic competencies, these tools are all highly limited.

Whatever their discipline, coaches are generally using two or three of the principal instruments to assist coachees to a defined target. Therefore, we will start there.

Principal instruments of the coach

The principal instruments of coaching are silence, questions, and challenge (McLeod, 2001). These are used to assist the coachee to meet their defined targets. Of the three instruments, silence is the most effective.

Silence

When a coachee makes a discovery, this psychological breakthrough in perception, or catharsis, is wholly internal. Even if the coach is speaking, the contribution of the coach to the actual event is insignificant. Silence is therefore the dominant of the triad of the principal instruments. Silence enables the coachee to think and feel (experience) without being sidetracked by a coach’s agenda.

The real work of coaching is done in the coachee’s episodes of thinking and feeling in which the coach plays no part other than silent witness (McLeod, 2002a). The coachee may be re-evaluating what they thought they knew, exploring a fresh perception on what they thought was real and fixed, developing new insight on a situation, understanding the depth and source of their motivation, and so on. The art of the coach is not to know when to be silent but when to break that silence.

I coached a sales trainer who is widely respected on the world stage. Bob had become stuck. Having decided on an important task he found himself demotivated to accomplish it, let alone start the job. He told me that he had become frustrated because the target was important to him but he kept putting it off. Over the course of the next ten minutes Bob explored his situation with me. He willingly entered his on-stage sales-trainer state by getting out of his chair and imagining/experiencing himself before one of his large audiences, ready to demonstrate his influencing skills to them. From that state of being, I asked Bob to offer his “stuck-self” (still metaphysically in the chair) some advice with his problem. He provided that advice immediately. Shortly afterwards, I asked Bob to return psychologically to his chair and then to listen to the best possible advice available from a leading trainer. I simply read back his exact words in the same tone and pace. There was a silence laden with spine-tingling suspense and “atmosphere”. Bob was transformed. His concentration was internal and acute. His neck colored with blood, his eyes were defocused, and his whole being became energized. I let the silence run on. It was broken by Bob, who launched himself to his feet, saying, “I’m doing it right now! Sorry to cut the session short!” I couldn’t reply because Bob was already out of the room and on his way to his office. You will find other examples in this book.

Jill Dann (2003) says, “In coaching, you have to allow prolonged silences, and intervene to push the coachee to reconnect with the moment, bringing them back to it and keeping anyone else silent. If they can revisit the moment they are often astounded by the range of emotions experienced.” Emotion, once registered (and whether expressed or not), is a key driver for change. Silence and emotion are a facilitators of awesome power.

There is another lesson from the session with Bob. The most motivating behaviors come from self-determined processing. I could have offered Bob the same advice, but would he have leaped out of his chair and rushed out of the room to act upon it?

Questions

Questioning is another of the three principal instruments of coaching. We will return often to questioning techniques, because there is so much ground to cover. For now, it is worth defining why questions are used in coaching:

to unlock more information for both coach and coacheeto assist the coachee to explore available realities

Questioning can be approached in such a way that coachees can explore issues and reach motivated targets without the coach having to understand anything about the situation—such things as the people involved and the time or place to which the issue relates. This type of questioning is sometimes called context-free questioning/coaching. It is particularly useful where the coachee is dealing with highly sensitive issues, be they emotional, political, strategic, or interpersonal. For example, they may have a sensitive issue regarding the senior board member who hired them. By taking away the need for the coachee to express the details of their knowledge and experiences, they can roam freely through their solutions without concerning themselves with the appropriateness or otherwise of expressing factual information. If a coach is going to deal with such situations, context-free questioning can be considered—but more later! For now, we can see that questioning may support coaching in many ways. Here are just some examples:

developing understanding of the issue and its contextexploring historical situations with positive outcomesdefining what is and is not in the control of the coacheeredefining the target(s) and the timescales to successencouraging new perceptionshelping the coachee to associate (experience) their situation/state fullyhelping the coachee to disassociate from their situation and be more objectivere-evaluating value judgmentsrevisiting limiting beliefsrecognition of patterns evaluating behaviors in the context of the coachee’s identity and valuesdefining the level of certainty the coachee has about their success (motivation)

Questions can help define the boundaries of the coachee’s worldview. Questions can also assist them to re-evaluate those boundaries and extend what is possible.

Challenge

Challenges have similar outcomes to questions but often the approach is confrontational. For example, a challenge may require the reassessment of a firm belief. Challenges can be offered as statements or questions and can be especially helpful where a coachee is very stuck in a pattern of negative thought. Here are examples:

GILES: I’m useless at presentations!

COACH: So, you’re the worst presenter on the planet?

GILES: I’m not that bad.

COACH: What are you “not that bad” at, in presentations?

Here, the aim of the challenge is to encourage the coachee to reframe their perception of their abilities so that they may have the confidence to do something about their skill level. The next intervention provides a base for that by exploring positives.

JOHN: The problem is insurmountable!

COACH: You’re probably right. Let’s ignore it and work on something else.

JOHN: I can’t ignore this—I must do something!

COACH: If I had this problem, where would be the best place for me to start now?

Here, the challenge is “discounting” the enormity of the issue and is very likely to get a reaction. In this case, luckily perhaps, the effect is to accept action. The coach’s question is designed to get the coachee to dissociate emotionally from the issue and appeals to their ability to “observe” the problem from outside and at the same time to “help” the coach. We will return to other examples of challenge and of emotionally associated and emotionally dissociated states again.

Definitions of coaching

We are now in a position to define for the purpose of this book both coaching and related services. Since our context is workbased, the terms “executive coaching”, “performance coaching”, and “coaching” are interchangeable.

Coaching: The use of silence, questions, and challenge to assist a coachee toward a defined work-based target. These are often present issues or ones that relate to the future.

Performancecoaching: It is sometimes considered that performance coaching centers only on mental techniques and targets without exploration of emotional material or the nitty-gritty of communication and relationship. This is an absurd idea since a huge bulk of issues affecting executive performance is about communication and relationships. Also, since emotion is the key element of motivation, any coaching method that missed emotional investment in targets is flawed.

Mentoring: Mentoring ideally adopts all the skills of coaching. The best mentoring helps the mentee to find their own solutions using the three principal instruments. Most mentoring seems to be on culture-specific advice and suggestions. It contains information on organizational structures and procedures (e.g., politics, agendas and influencing strategies).

Lifecoaching: The use of silence, questioning, and challenge to assist a coachee to a defined personal target.

Counseling: The use of questioning and silence to assist the individual to manage or redefine personal issues. Very often, these are located in the past.

Chapter Two

Coaching Issues—New Skills

We will explore numerous examples that deal with typical issues brought to us during coaching intervention. The first and most overarching of these is communication.

Communication

In my work as a coach and team facilitator, I guess that 80 percent of the issues are dominated by communication factors. By “communication” I mean both the quality and appropriateness of spoken and written words as well as their interpretation by the hearer/reader. For example, I remember being welcomed to a business meeting in Pennsylvania with the words, “It’s good that you could be with us today.” The simple interpretation is clear: my host was expressing his pleasure at my being there. However, some months earlier, I had postponed this meeting because my US travels had been overbooked and my itinerary had to be changed. Therefore, my immediate reinterpretation of his welcome was, “So, you finally deigned to grace us with your presence. Now you’re here, let’s press on quickly before you get bored and have to leave us.” After I got over that possible meaning I came up with a third interpretation for “It’s good that you could be with us today.” Maybe he was acknowledging my busy schedule and expressing gratitude that, in spite of limited time and the location of their plant, I had agreed to travel out of the way specifically to meet with them.

If a simple, unambiguous phrase containing only positive messages can be interpreted so differently, it is small wonder that communication is at the heart of so many executive issues. Throughout the issues examples in this book, you will find that communication is often at their heart. The key to moving past such communication shortfalls is invariably conscious perception.

Conscious perception re-evaluates the communication and looks at negative, neutral, and positive possibilities in the message. More than that, conscious perception looks beyond the message to the possible states of mind of the originator. Thus, a voicemail message from my boss’s boss picked up one Friday evening stated simply, “Angus, this is John. I’ve checked your program for next week and see a gap Monday morning and want to see you in my office ten o’clock.”

What do you suppose my interpretation was? He is unhappy with my performance? My immediate boss has died and I am up for that job? Conscious perception forced me to look beyond the interpretations to explore Mark’s state of mind. I noted that the communication was briefer than usual. This could mean that he was angry with me and did not want to say too much in case he blew up over the phone. It could also mean that he was under pressure. Suddenly I heard bells clanging in my head. The full board on which Mark sat was due to meet the following Tuesday in Birmingham. Mark could be feeling a little short on business performance. Maybe he was seeking support from me to embellish his results with some healthy news on prospective business that might boost the following quarter. That interpretation proved correct. I had increased my conscious perception by self-questioning.

Increasing conscious perception offers more choice and strategies for dealing with issues, for moving ahead effectively. More than that, the process starts a whole new habit of self-inquiry that improves all decision making and performance. All executives can do this and perform at a higher level. That is just one area where coaching can make a huge difference to executive performance.

Conscious perception

Conscious perception is stimulated by questioning and challenge around established realities. The art of the coach is to recognize inhibiting and unnatural perceptions and to encourage the coachee to new perceptions. Questions include the following:

Who says?How do you know?Can you say more, can you convince me?Always? Can you think of an exception?Why must you? What other choices are there?

Additionally, there are numerous coaching tools that encourage conscious perception, many illustrated in this book.

Let’s look at some examples of coaching where communication is the major element of the coachee’s issue.

Territory invasion—getting in their shoes

Helena ran a department of almost a thousand people within the IT industry. She had come into the sector from chemicals six years before. Her record in project management and her interpersonal ability had got her the first role. The same skills had propelled her up the ladder to run a department operating as a business center netting over $130 million a year. Her department contained technical, technical sales, quality, and administrative functions.

Helena had very good reason to believe that her quality division was about to be poached and merged under another manager, Paul. Helena felt that, if he were successful, it could impact badly on her business area, since, she said, quality underpinned the salability of her product lines. Helena’s anxiety festered for some weeks. She considered contacting her original mentor in the corporation to seek her support. Perhaps wisely, Helena held back from asking for intervention. She realized that at this stage in her career she should be able to fight her own battles using available resources. Her issues centered on the loss of the quality division, her protagonist, Paul (a slightly more senior manager with strong corporate connections built up over several years), and the financial controller, Alan (who in her eyes had no loyalty to her and would be more influenced by Paul and by any argument showing cost reduction).

We explored her perceptions of these three relationships: with Paul the protagonist, with the financial controller, Alan, and with her mentor, Georgina. When Helena came to me, she had already decided to contact Georgina only as a last resort for guidance, not proactive support. While talking about Alan, we had the following development:

ANGUS: Helena, do you recall a significant meeting with Alan that represents your typical engagement with him?

HELENA: Yes, I do.

ANGUS: I’d like you to have an experience of being in that meeting now. Put whatever you need to make this experience as real as you can. How light is it? Where is that light coming from? How warm or cold is it? Where is Alan? How does your body feel? Has Alan spoken? If he has spoken, how does he sound?

Linguistic tip Experience

Use the word “experience” rather than restrict your question to “see”, “feel” or “think.” Asking the question, “How do you feel about it?” will be misleading to the coachee who is exploring a visual and/or auditory experience. The coachee will have a conscious experience but it may not be represented internally as an image, emotion, or thought. Without evidence from the coachee, it is better to use the word “experience,” and they will then tell you how they represent their experience internally. The coach must get out of the way of the coachee’s mental processing to get the best possible result.

Helena was encouraged to re-experience the meeting with all her senses active. She entered a state of recall, an “induced state”. I did not know what she was experiencing and did not need to know. However, I did want a check on how perfectly she was experiencing the situation.

ANGUS: On a scale of zero through ten, how real is this experience?

HELENA: Eight.

ANGUS: Eight is good. Do whatever you need to do to make this experience even more real.

Helena sat up a little straighter and her face and head looked more toned and poised. I asked some questions about the specific dialogue and more about how Helena was feeling before inviting her to return to our dynamic, in the present. I now wanted Helena to break her (induced) state and come down from eight to zero. I wanted her to be able to think objectively about that experience. I asked a series of questions that would be least likely to involve emotional recall of the induced state.

Linguistic tip Zero through ten

This device is a useful measuring stick and is favored by John Whitmore; I use it frequently. It is a good way of getting information about the experience of the coachee without making presumptions. It can be applied just as readily to describing the level of perfection of their experience as to the extent of their commitment: “So, how certain are you to complete that action on time, zero through ten?”

ANGUS: Helena, how many chairs are there in this room and how are they different?

ANGUS: Can you shake out any tensions in your body?

ANGUS: How many colors can you see in my tie?

The first question was designed to move Helena’s concentration and focus on internal processing followed by external observation, the second to break her apparently fixed physical state, and the third to bring her attention back to her coach. These rapid changes of focus activate different parts of the brain and help break theinduced state. I wanted to check that my observation was correct.

Breaking induced state

The coach wants the coachee to have exquisite learning experiences from the states that they visit. When it is time to think logically in the present about those experiences, it is best if the coachee is not in a hinterland, a blurred state that is neither here nor there. Breaking induced states requires tasking to be done by the coachee in the present. Physical activity, logical processing (counting, observing, and calculating) all help to bring the coachee back into the coaching dynamic and ready to work. By being explicit, as in the example of Helena, the coach then checks to make sure that this breaking of state has been successful:

“Helena, on a scale of one through ten, how perfectly are you back in this room?”

Helena returned a “ten”, so we were ready to work again. I always want a top score before reviewing the experience and learning.

Questioning revealed to Helena that she always felt slightly tense in Alan’s presence. She was certain that, “Alan resents my youth and my lack of dedicated career within IT. He does not like me one bit.” Now the good coach is bursting to question and challenge these perceptions, so I made a note of these for later in the session. I then invited her to explore the meeting with Alan in a different way: “Helena, if we were in that room with Alan now, where in this room is he, and where is Helena?”

Linguistic tip Tense change

If we were in that room with Alan now, where in this room is he?

Note the change of tense to the present. I wanted Helena to have an experience of that situation in the present and to connect as holistically as possible with that earlier experience, in that moment.

Helena pointed to a place in the room where Alan was seated, in her imagination. She also offered the information that she would be in her own seat. I moved a spare chair to where Helena said Alan would be sitting and checked with her the exact positioning and orientation of that chair. Since she pointed very specifically and was able to coach me to move the chair by precise amounts, it was obvious that the location of the chair was critical to her experience. To fulfill that job perfectly, I asked for feedback. My interventions continued.

“In a moment,” I said, “I am going to ask you to return to that meeting with Alan. This time I am going to ask you to move over to Alan’s chair to adopt his bearing and personality, to be Alan. As you move across I want you to become his age, to have arrived by his car or train, to have walked to that chair from his office, to carry his responsibilities, and to move in his circles.”

Helena thought about this for a while and accepted the invitation. She was ready to experience being in Alan’s shoes. This is sometimes called taking the second perceptual position.

I then said to her, “In your own time I want you to come into this meeting of Alan and Helena, who is sitting in that chair.” I pointed to Helen’s chair. “As you move across, you are entering the state of Alan and will be Alan as you sit down in his chair.”

Helena rose and walked slowly to “Alan’s chair”. As she did so, she became slower, more deliberate and “gray”.

I spoke to Helena again but this time addressed her appropriately, as “Alan”.

ANGUS: Alan, what’s going on here?

HELENA (Alan): Helena wants something but she is holding back. She always holds back. She has an agenda but I will not bother to engage fully until she gets direct with me. She is a little nervous as usual because her experience and understanding of the financials is not anywhere as comprehensive as my own. She understands the fundamentals that we use to highlight and monitor performance but not the underlying strengths and weaknesses that carry those indicators. If she took the trouble to get alongside, I could help her.

ANGUS: Alan, what do you feel about Helena?

HELENA (Alan): I don’t. I’m here to do a job and feelings don’t come into it. I’m influenced by the business and by sound arguments that support the business objectives at the best possible value for money. At this stage in my career I am lucky to be able to plan my own exit as a matter of choice. That will be in a couple of years. Tim, Paul, and the others have limited impact on me. I do my job well and am respected and supported by the key players both inside and outside our business area.

Note my mistake in using the word “feel”. I might better have asked, “What’s going on with Helena?” I invited Helena to return to our dynamic in the present.

ANGUS: In your own time, I am going to ask you to return to Helena’s chair. It’s Tuesday the 27th at 11:23 and you will be back in the present with Angus.

Helena rose again, walked briskly the short distance to her chair, sat bright-eyed and upright and checked out the room and me deliberately. She was already becoming expert at state management. I let the silence run.

HELENA: OK, I’m back. That was really useful! I’m going to look at a financial case for restructuring my quality division. I will think about splitting it and putting some of my people out in the field alongside technical support. I think I can find both sales and business arguments for this approach and maybe some overhead savings if I work on it. I’m going to discuss the draft plan with Alan and seek his advice and involvement before I prepare a full paper.

Helena may not have learned anything about the truth of her relationship with Alan or about his mindset. She had found a new perception and entered a new and motivated reality characterized by a new frame of reference. It was certain that her relationship with Alan would not be the same. Clearly she was motivated to take action. I had two things on my mind, though. The first was my note about Helena’s original view of Alan’s negativity toward her. The second was the dynamic (interaction or relationship) with Paul, the protagonist in the current equation.

ANGUS: You said earlier that Alan resented your youth and your lack of dedicated IT career, and that he does not like you. Is your view the same or different?

HELENA: I don’t think Alan likes or dislikes me. He’s ambivalent to both me and to others. He is consistent. It’s not about me at all.

ANGUS: Are you also saying that it’s possible for you to assume negativity toward you and then later to realize that you were wrong?

(Helena nods.)

ANGUS: Is it also possible that you might have similar negative projection about Alan or others in the future and change you perception again?

HELENA: Yes, it is.

I wanted Helena to acknowledge fully what she had learned and to “own” that learning. I also wanted to make it more likely that she could carry this learning into possible future scenarios, not just through a new skill set but because she accepted that she was now someone who could reverse negative projection and see things in a positive light. Once a person believes that they have the identity of someone with certain characteristics, they are automatically more likely to demonstrate those same behaviors again. It was not the time to do more work on this. We scheduled an appointment to look at her communication with Paul for two days’ time.

Helena came back to that session having worked on her restructuring ideas and having explored the second perceptual position for a previous meeting she had with Paul. She came back more certain than ever that Paul was poised to capture her quality division and had circumstantial evidence to support her argument. It sounded pretty convincing and I wondered whether she had acted too late. I also wondered whether Paul’s restructuring plan might be a good thing for both Helena and the business. I let those thoughts pass to engage fully with my coachee.

At this point many options could be explored in the session. Was there scope for Helena to work and communicate better with Paul? How would Helena feel if she lost her quality division? How could she minimize any negative impact that could have on her performance? Could she capitalize on any positive features? If Helena’s reorganization looked like a good policy, how could she best sell that to the key people and maintain morale and efficiency among the staff affected? What might the price of success or failure be?

Before we met again, I had thought of the wider implications for the business. The client was Helena’s company and I had a duty both to her and to the corporation. My overall aims were twofold: to support the objectives of the business and to help Helena be the best manager that she could be. Helena lost most of her quality-division people but within a year was managing a much bigger part of the business. Her skills in second positioning contributed to that success.

Let us look at another communication issue involving the second perceptual position.

Who’s the boss?

Communication is about understanding as well as about messages. In this example, I was coaching through a medium-sized company from middle managers to CEO. Two of my coachees worked together and each had issues concerning the other. Coaching in the team context is especially interesting and saturated with information— sometimes too much! It takes concentration to stay with the coachee and not be mentally sabotaged by the bigger plot.

The wider corporate/team picture often does influence the course of an individual coaching session, especially when coaching an entire team. I rely on my homework and intuition during the actual sessions to offer possible directions that bring alignment to team and corporate targets. I also have a model for that.

Janice was sales manager and had been in that role for less than four months, following promotion. Mark reported to Janice and he led the telesales team. Janice was out of the office at least four and a half days per week. Mark rarely left the office or got in front of customers. Mark said that his boss was dogmatic, inflexible, and territorial but effective at maintaining good customer rapport and winning new business. Her communication skills were not great by all accounts and this caused problems for Mark and for senior management. I knew already that Janice did not consistently inform the board about new and significant contracts in the pipeline. The directors were not happy about this, since large new pieces of business affected the supply chain and other supporting functions in process control and purchasing. These needed to be project-managed.

Janice complained that Mark was not respectful toward her and would often deprioritize her instructions, particularly concerning sales reports.

Mark complained that his boss was surly, offhand, threw mundane tasks at him, and did not offer any credit, ever, for the success of his department or the groundwork that he did with customers that made Janice’s job easier. Mark regularly won business because his turnaround on quotes was always lightning fast. A big proportion of total revenues came from those quotes. Mark’s priority was to put these out first and fast before reporting to Janice.