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- Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
- Kategorie: Ratgeber
- Sprache: Englisch
- Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2011
Many people want to gain trust or support in business and throughout life, but the true skill is doing so in a charming fashion! Whether you're convincing the boss about your much-deserved promotion or a busy restaurateur to offer a better table, the power of persuasion can help improve and increase your successes. Elizabeth Kuhnke, author of the bestselling Body Language For Dummies, guides the reader through easy-to-implement techniques that can turn a timid person into someone bursting with self confidence and the ability to influence. Topics covered will include: * The key elements in becoming more persuasive - body language, listening skills, using persuasive words and actions * Finding a common ground and establishing a connection with your audience * Capturing their attention and keeping them interested * Putting yourself across convincingly * Getting things done through others * Identifying the type of person you're dealing with - and responding in an appropriate manner
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Persuasion and Influence For Dummies®
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Table of Contents
Persuasion & Influence For Dummies®
by Elizabeth Kuhnke
Persuasion & Influence For Dummies®
Published byJohn Wiley & Sons, LtdThe AtriumSouthern GateChichesterWest SussexPO19 8SQEnglandwww.wiley.com
Copyright © 2012 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd, Chichester, West Sussex, England
Published by John Wiley & Sons, Ltd, Chichester, West Sussex
All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning or otherwise, except under the terms of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 or under the terms of a licence issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency Ltd, Saffron House, 6-10 Kirby Street, London EC1N 8TS, UK, without the permission in writing of the Publisher. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Ltd, The Atrium, Southern Gate, Chichester, West Sussex, PO19 8SQ, England, or emailed to [email protected], or faxed to (44) 1243 770620.
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Wiley publishes in a variety of print and electronic formats and by print-on-demand. Some material included with standard print versions of this book may not be included in e-books or in print-on-demand. If this book refers to media such as a CD or DVD that is not included in the version you purchased, you may download this material at http://booksupport.wiley.com. For more information about Wiley products, visit www.wiley.com.
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data: A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
ISBN 978-0-470-74737-7 (pbk); ISBN 978-1-119-95995-3 (ebk); ISBN 978-0-470-66403-2 (ebk); ISBN 978-0-470-66402-5 (ebk)
Printed and bound in Great Britain by TJ International Ltd., Padstow, Cornwall
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
About the Author
Elizabeth Kuhnke is an international conference speaker, best-selling author and qualified coach who aims to provide her clients with the skills and knowledge to live the lives they envision, and make the changes they desire. Her clients and colleagues call her ‘Diamond Polisher’ because of her ability to smooth, sharpen and shape talented individuals, enabling them to reveal their true brilliance. Her three-pronged approach to client development is based on demonstrating respect, establishing rapport, and producing results. She believes that dogged determination combined with a healthy dose of fun are vital for success.
For over twenty years, Elizabeth has nourished a steady client stream of FTSE 100 companies, professional services and charities, providing one-to-one and group coaching in key areas relating to interpersonal communication including personal impact, confidence and influencing skills. Elizabeth’s combination of advanced degrees, a career in the performing arts, expertise in administering psychometric instruments and a passion for personal best are some of the reasons clients turn to her for support.
She’s been compared to an Olympic athlete, who never gives up. She has been equated to a pit bull because she never lets go. And she has been likened to a radiator, because she generates warmth. She is often quoted in the media addressing issues concerning confidence, persuasion and influence, voice, body language and public speaking skills.
Persuasion & Influence For Dummies is her second book for Wiley. She is currently working on the second edition of Body Language For Dummies. Contact Elizabeth through her website at www.kuhnkecommunication.com.
Author’s Acknowledgments
When I set out to write this book my intention was to learn, have fun and make a meaningful contribution to your life. I never anticipated the combination of pleasure and pain this undertaking would bring. I thank my family, especially my husband Karl, for his unconditional love, copious cups of tea, walking Henry in the rain and keeping the home fires burning during long days and lonely nights. To my children, Max and Kristina, your constant love, support and cheering me on feed my passion and nurture my soul. To the Diamond Lights – Tom, Katie, Evie and Charlotte – thank you for growing the business and protecting my interests during my absence. To Haidar, Helen, Resli, Annie, Kate, Judy, Wanda and many other amazing coaches who specialise in persuasion and influence, thank you for your time, generosity and for sharing your experiences with me. To my friends, big hugs and many thanks for your encouragement, giving me the space to write and checking in to make sure I was still around. To my clients and colleagues, I value your belief in my abilities and the endless opportunities you offer me to learn and practise persuasion and influence with you. To you, the reader, I thank you for buying this book and hope it serves as a positive influence in your life. Finally, my most sincere thanks to this book’s fabulous editorial team, led by Simon Bell and Brian Kramer, who persuaded me I could do this and persisted when lesser mortals would have thrown in the towel. You all encompass the belief that ‘Not brute force but only persuasion and faith are the kings of this world.’
Publisher’s Acknowledgments
We’re proud of this book; please send us your comments at http://dummies.custhelp.com. For other comments, please contact our Customer Care Department within the U.S. at 877-762-2974, outside the U.S. at 317-572-3993, or fax 317-572-4002.
Some of the people who helped bring this book to market include the following:
Acquisitions, Editorial, and Vertical Websites
Project Editor: Simon Bell
Commissioning Editor: Claire Ruston
Assistant Editor: Ben Kemble
Development Editor: Brian Kramer
Copy Editor: Kate O’Leary
Proofreaders: Mary White, Kim Vernon
Production Manager: Daniel Mersey
Publisher: David Palmer
Cover Photos: © Jeffrey Coolidge
Cartoons: Rich Tennant (www.the5thwave.com)
Composition Services
Project Coordinator: Kristie Rees
Layout and Graphics: Lavonne Roberts, Corrie Socolovitch
Proofreader: Rebecca Denoncour
Indexer: Ty Koontz
Publishing and Editorial for Consumer Dummies
Kathleen Nebenhaus, Vice President and Executive Publisher
Kristin Ferguson-Wagstaffe, Product Development Director
Ensley Eikenburg, Associate Publisher, Travel
Kelly Regan, Editorial Director, Travel
Publishing for Technology Dummies
Andy Cummings, Vice President and Publisher
Composition Services
Debbie Stailey, Director of Composition Services
Introduction
How would you like to change people’s beliefs and behaviours so they say ‘Yes!’ to your requests, proposals and propositions? How would you like to convince and motivate others in an ethical way to do as you’d like them to do? How would you like to win the admiration, trust and confidence of other people, in order that they follow your lead while thinking the idea was theirs all along? If you want to accomplish any or all of the above, read on.
Getting people to say ‘Yes’ to your requests is the focus of this book. In the chapters that follow, you discover the triggers that gain people’s acceptance and win their buy-in to your ideas, suggestions and recommendations. You find out how to engage with others so they trust you and believe in your credibility. And you uncover ways of thinking, speaking and behaving that ensure that others perceive you as honest, reliable, sincere and likeable.
Persuasion and influence are poles apart from manipulation, although people who don’t understand these words’ subtle differences often use the terms interchangeably. In a nutshell, manipulation is about using any means necessary to get people to do what you want them to do in order to fulfil your needs or desires, regardless of whether what you want is in the other people’s best interests. Persuasion and influence are about guiding people to make decisions based on reliable information and a sound relationship with you, in order for them to do what’s best for them. (I explore the important distinctions a bit more in Chapter 1.)
Savvy persuaders and influencers demonstrate respect for the people they want to persuade. Through word choice as well as non-verbal behaviour, persuaders and influencers seek to understand where the other person is coming from. They ask non-judgemental questions and actively listen. They feel what others are feeling, understand what they’re saying and motivate them to take specific courses of action. The most successful persuaders and influencers know what they want and how to convince others in ways that serve everyone’s needs and interests.
By following the suggestions and recommendations in this book, you can become an effective persuader and influencer. This doesn’t happen overnight, because developing your persuasive and influencing skills, like all skills, takes patience, practice and desire. That said, if you want to become a better persuader and influencer – and are willing to practise the techniques set out in this book – then nothing and no one can get in your way.
So, if I’ve persuaded and influenced you enough to read on, please do so. This book is your guide to becoming a skilled persuader and influencer.
About This Book
In this book I investigate the power of persuasion and influence and how by demonstrating trustworthiness, credibility and expertise you can win over the hearts and minds of your target audience, be they staff, colleagues and customers, or friends, family and partners. I explain how to convince your listeners by appealing to their needs and desires, as well as by the way you use your voice and body language. You discover how to listen actively, to understand not only what the speakers say and feel but also what they don’t express in their words. You find out how to capture your listener’s attention and how to adapt your style to meet the preferences of others whose decisions you want to influence.
The point of this book is for you to take on board and develop the skills and mindset required to persuade and influence others, and to become aware of the techniques when someone’s applying these techniques to you. Finally, this book is designed to help you get what you want by gearing your proposals in an ethical way that meets the best interests of your audience as well as your own desires.
Conventions Used in This Book
I’m pleased to say that you’ll find no jargon in this book. When I introduce a new term, I italicise it and then define what it means. Web and email addresses are in monofont, and the action part of numbered steps and the key concepts in a list are in bold. To be fair to all readers, I alternate using male and female pronouns by odd and even chapters.
Foolish Assumptions
While I know the pitfalls of making assumptions, I’m prepared to assume that you:
Are interested in persuasion and influence and know a little bit about the subject
Want to improve your ability to persuade and influence others
Are willing to reflect on your current approach and respond to the suggestions offered in this book
Want the best for yourself and for others
How This Book Is Organised
One of the great things about For Dummies books is that you can dip in and out of them at will. The books are written in modular form, therefore you don’t need to start at the beginning to understand what comes at the end – and if you choose to read the last chapter first, you don’t give away the plot. If you’re looking for something in particular and aren’t in the mood to read through the whole book to find it, flip to the index or the table of contents, which are designed to help you locate what you want quickly and easily. If you’re just keen to get started, open the book wherever you want. There’s plenty for you to gain no matter which page you turn to.
Part I: Preparing to Persuade and Influence
In this part, I share a dynamic plan that puts you in prime position for persuading and influencing others. You discover all the essentials, including how to establish a connection with your listeners, put together your case, reveal your credibility and display your expertise.
Part II: Developing Your Persuasive and Influencing Skills
In order to persuade and influence, you need to discover or develop some core skills. I demonstrate how to listen better to your target audience in order to understand what matters to them. I then offer advice for capturing your audience’s attention and adapting your approach to meet different people’s decision-making styles. You also discover how to put yourself across in a convincing manner, no matter how similar or different your listener is compared with you.
Part III: Picking the Right Approach
In this part, I explore different ways of persuading and influencing others depending on what matters to them and what floats their boats. You discover how to identify what drives people to make the decisions they do, as well as how to adapt your approach depending on what people want and need. I show you how to get others to do what you want them to do based on their relationship with you, and I give you ideas on how you can persuade people to follow your suggestions through the examples you set.
Part IV: Putting Persuasion and Influencing Skills into Practice
With these chapters, you gain a feel for the power of your body and voice as powerful instruments for persuading and influencing others. You discover how a purr can be more powerful than a bark, and how the way you lean towards or bend away from people can entice them to come on board with you.
Part V: The Part of Tens
If you want a quick and concise overview of how to persuade and influence your clients, colleagues, boss, staff and others – whether in writing or through the spoken word – turn to these chapters. You find ways to turn technology into your friendly persuader, indispensible tools to include in your persuasive toolkit, and the ten core persuasion skills you need to hone.
Icons Used in This Book
To focus your attention and highlight points of particular relevance, consider the following icons.
This icon highlights stories of friends, relatives, colleagues, clients and acquaintances whose experiences of persuading and influencing I think may be useful for you. There are occasions where I have altered names and details to protect the privacy of the contributors.
While you don’t need to read the information here to enhance your persuading and influencing skills, you may find the facts and data fascinating.
If you remember nothing else from what you’ve read in the chapter, this icon highlights an important point to store away for future use.
To help prevent personal or professional harm, pay attention to this icon.
This icon provides an idea that can save you time or prevent frustration.
If you want to practise what you’re reading, this icon gives you a simple technique to try on your own.
Where to Go from Here
While all the material offered in this book is designed to help you become a world-class persuader and influencer, not all of what I have to say may be relevant or pertinent to your specific needs or interests at this time. You’re safe in reading what you want, when you want. The facts are solid, the data substantiated and the information confirmed. Furthermore, you don’t have to worry about the information being time-sensitive. Although many of my examples and anecdotes come from current coaching work or things I observe in the news or media, the core principles of persuading and influencing others do not have a sell-by date.
If you’re interested in preparing to persuade and influence, begin with Part I. If you want to develop your non-verbal behaviours, flip to Part IV. If you want to grab your listener’s attention, turn to Chapter 8. Or if you want to begin putting together a compelling case, thumb your way to Chapter 4. Everything is here for the taking.
I hope that you benefit from what’s inside these pages. I also want you to enjoy yourself while you navigate this book, discovering how to become the persuasive and influential person you can be. Here’s your chance to make a difference in your life – and in the lives of others.
Part I
Preparing to Persuade and Influence
In this part . . .
This part gives you the basic toolkit for becoming a successful persuader. Here you can find out the essentials about establishing connections with your audience which can then develop into robust relationships. I show you how to make your case with credibility and integrity, and you can also find out how to establish your credentials as an trusted expert in your field.
Chapter 1
Laying the Groundwork for Persuasion and Influence
In This Chapter
Understanding influence and persuasion
Being clear about what you want to achieve
Taking on successful behaviours and attitudes
Turning to others for inspiration
Regardless of how intuitive, experienced, powerful or educated you are, if you can’t build relationships with other people, if you can’t establish your credibility and demonstrate your trustworthiness, if you can’t convince others through your words and actions to follow your suggestions, you stand little chance of making a difference in your career or your life.
The relationship you have with yourself as well as your relationships with others serve as the foundation of all your life’s endeavours. Unless you are confined to a vacuum, the majority of your time is spent engaging with other people. You must work with other people in order to do anything and everything – including achieving satisfying, inspiring successes.
The days of ‘command and control’ leadership in the workplace and beyond are over. From my experiences with both personal and professional relationships, ‘connect and collaborate’ is the new and improved mantra. In most relationships, including those in the professions and industries, the twenty-first century brings a more educated workforce, flatter management structures and an emphasis on teamwork over individual accomplishment. All of which means that people can no longer play the ‘because I said so’ card in order to get others to change their behaviours and beliefs. In short, persuasion and influence has replaced force and coercion.
In this chapter you discover the mindset, characteristics and attributes of successful persuaders and influencers. You find ways of building effective behaviours into your own repertoire in order to persuade and influence others’ choices, and you explore the value of working with others for mutual benefit.
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
