Power Questions E-Book

Andrew Sobel

• Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
• Kategorie: Fachliteratur
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 236

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2012

Beschreibung

An arsenal of powerful questions that will transform every conversation Skillfully redefine problems. Make an immediate connection with anyone. Rapidly determine if a client is ready to buy. Access the deepest dreams of others. Power Questions sets out a series of strategic questions that will help you win new business and dramatically deepen your professional and personal relationships. The book showcases thirty-five riveting, real conversations with CEOs, billionaires, clients, colleagues, and friends. Each story illustrates the extraordinary power and impact of a thought-provoking, incisive power question. To help readers navigate a variety of professional challenges, over 200 additional, thought-provoking questions are also summarized at the end of the book. In Power Questions you'll discover: * The question that stopped an angry executive in his tracks * The sales question CEOs expect you to ask versus the questions they want you to ask * The question that will radically refocus any meeting * The penetrating question that can transform a friend or colleague's life * A simple question that helped restore a marriage When you use power questions, you magnify your professional and personal influence, create intimate connections with others, and drive to the true heart of the issue every time.

Leseprobe

Contents

Cover

Praise for Power Questions

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

The Power Questions

Chapter 1: Good Questions Trump Easy Answers

Chapter 2: If You Don'tWant to Hit Bottom, Stop Digging the Hole

Chapter 3: The FourWords

Chapter 4: When the Sale Is Stuck

Chapter 5: Mission Isn't Important. It's Everything

Chapter 6: Get Out of Your Cave

Chapter 7: Begin at the Beginning

Chapter 8: Start Over

Chapter 9: You Can Overcome Anything If You Understand Why

Chapter 10: In a Hushed Moment

Chapter 11: Is This the Best You Can Do?

Chapter 12: No Gorilla Dust

Chapter 13: Bury the Clichés

Chapter 14: Don't Let Anyone Steal Your Dreams

Chapter 15: Silence Can Be the Best Answer

Chapter 16: The Greatest Teacher

Chapter 17: Push Open the Flood Gate

Chapter 18: The Essence of Your Job

Chapter 19: A Tempest-Tossed Topic

Chapter 20: The Road Taken

Chapter 21: Who Do You Say I Am?

Chapter 22: That Special Moment in Life

Chapter 23: Your Plans or Their Plans?

Chapter 24: Never Look Back Unless You Plan to Live ThatWay

Chapter 25: How to Stop the Snorting

Chapter 26: Dig Deeper. Deeper. Still Deeper

Chapter 27: Always Faithful

Chapter 28: I Used to Be Indecisive—But Now I'm Not Sure

Chapter 29: Blah Blah Blah

Chapter 30: Why Is This Day Different?

Chapter 31: Never Too Late

Chapter 32: Take Stock of Your Life

Chapter 33: The Heart of the Matter

Chapter 34: Capture the Moments

Chapter 35: The Awe andWonder of the Power Question

Not Just for Sunday

293 More Power Questions

About the Authors

Praise for Power Questions

“We all strive to create genuine human connection with clients, friends, and family. Power Questions is a tremendous, practical guide to constructing and using the powerful questions that help you do this. Read it now, take it in deeply, put it into practice, and it will transform your conversations and perhaps your life.”

—Steve Thomas,President of Global Sales, Experian

“What did FDR, Socrates, Shakespeare, and Jesus have in common? According to Sobel and Panas, they all knew how to ask ‘power questions.’ Read this book and you will too!”

—Marshall Goldsmith,Author of the New York Times best-sellers MOJO and What GotYou Here Won't Get You There

“Power Questions is a fresh, incisive, and compelling guide to achieving success in our personal and professional relationships and activities. The book methodically maps out the route to employ carefully chosen questions that will elicit the most helpful responses and achieve the most desirable outcomes. It's a must-read!”

—The Honorable Joseph P. Riley,Mayor, Charleston, South Carolina

“Congratulations. The name says it all. It is a powerful book. Power Questions is a must‐read for anyone who cares about customers, employees, and investors. My recommendation to everyone is to pick up a copy now and read it.”

—Robert L. Dilenschneider,Chief Executive Officer and Chairman,The Dilenschneider Group, Inc.

“Power Questions provides the vital building blocks to successfully understanding the needs of your customers and clients, your spouse or child. The book describes the necessary skills needed to ask the right questions in the right way. A masterpiece. The book is compelling.”

—Robert Milligan,Past Chairman, United States Chamber of Commerceand Founder and Chair, Nature's Variety

“Asking clients good questions leads to great conversations, and the result is trusted client relationships. Power Questions is a terrific read full of captivating examples. It will help readers develop deeper, more valuable relationships in both their professional and social lives.”

—James Bardrick,Managing Director and BankingCo‐Head for Europe, Middle East,and Africa, Citigroup

“Power Questions is an amazing book about having real power in your life–power to solve problems while developing deep relationships with others and also a better understanding of yourself.”

—Cal Turner,Former Chief Executive Officerand Chairman of the Board,Dollar General

“Why should I care what you think until I know that you care? I learned these words of wisdom from a very successful man. Now, Panas and Sobel answer the question, “How do I show that I care?” It is by asking thoughtful, powerful questions and listening carefully to the answers. You'll learn, you'll care, you'll build trust and understanding. Power Questions is outstanding.”

—B. Joseph White,President Emeritus,James F. Towey Professor ofBusiness and Leadership,University of Illinois and authorof best-selling The Nature of Leadership

“I found Power Questions so relevant I am making it required reading for all of my employees. Andrew and Jerry remind us of the vital importance of listening intensely. The book gives us the tools to get invaluable and rewarding information. This is a resource for life.”

—Aristotle Halikias,Chief Executive Officer andChairman of the Board,Republic Bank

“While reading Power Questions, I made lists of hundreds of questions I can use. I've always struggled to ask good, open‐ended, and probing questions that allow me to learn so much about another person. This book has helped me jump that hurdle. It is tremendously thought-provoking and at the same time, extremely entertaining. If you've read every other book Andrew Sobel and Jerry Panas have written, you may think they couldn't top themselves–but they do in Power Questions.”

—Michelle Easton,President, Clare BootheLuce Policy Institute

“Power Questions is for everyone–salespeople, supervisors, development officers, and even parents. Jerry Panas and Andrew Sobel inform us how to ask the very best questions in a manner most likely to elicit an insightful answer. The authors provide hundreds of questions you wish you had asked. Power Questions will ensure your meetings and conversations are more productive than ever before. It should be required reading–and it will be in my organization.”

—Ron Robinson,Author, Funding Fathers

“Ask yourself: Can I afford not to read Power Questions? Andrew and Jerry's book is refreshingly different, packed full of anecdotes and advice that will give you the questions you need to engage, enquire, and elicit. Easy to read, I found plenty of new ideas to help me deepen my client relationships.”

—Diana Brightmore‐Armour,CEO, Corporate Banking,Lloyds Banking Group

“Your relationships will never be the same. Organized and written in a highly accessible ‘story‐telling’ style, Power Questions is as entertaining as it is deep, and its lessons and value are as relevant and powerful for any Fortune 500 CEO as they are for a teacher, parent, or my 14‐year‐old son. Andrew Sobel and Jerry Panas have distilled the art of communicating down to the core skill of crafting and posing ‘the right’ questions at ‘the right’ times–questions that open doors and engender the engagement necessary to build meaningful relationships and true connectivity.”

—Adam L. Reeder,Managing Director and GlobalHead of Building Productsand Basic Materials,Credit Suisse First Boston

Copyright©2012 by Andrew Sobel and Jerold Panas. All rights reserved.

Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey.

Published simultaneously in Canada.

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To all the men and women who wish to buildfresh and exciting relationships, thrive professionally,and motivate all you come incontact with–this book is dedicated to you.If you believe, as we do, that most oftenthe question is more important than the answer,you are well on your way to successat work and in life.

The Power Questions

1

Good Questions Trump Easy Answers

We're sitting comfortably in a sun-filled office on the fortieth floor of a Chicago skyscraper. We ask the CEO, “What most impresses you when you meet someone who is trying to win your business? What builds trust and credibility with you early on in a relationship?”

This executive runs a $12-billion company. We are interviewing him about his most trusted business relationships. These are the service providers and suppliers his company goes back to again and again, the individuals who are part of his inner circle of trusted advisors.

“I can always tell,” he says, “how experienced and insightful a prospective consultant, banker, or lawyer is by the quality of their questions and how intently they listen. That's how simple it is.”

In a direct but sweeping statement about what builds a relationship, he tells us what hundred of others we've advised and interviewed also affirm: Good questions are often far more powerful than answers.

Good questions challenge your thinking. They reframe and redefine the problem. They throw cold water on our most dearly held assumptions, and force us out of our traditional thinking. They motivate us to learn and discover more. They remind us of what is most important in our lives.

In ancient history, transformational figures such as Socrates and Jesus used questions to great effect. Their questions were teaching tools and also a means to change indelibly the people around them. We'll meet both in later chapters and learn their techniques.

But you'll also meet corporate leaders, a minister, a billionaire, an attorney, a medical center CEO, and dozens more. They are all fascinating people (some you may know), for whom a power question becomes a pivotal turning point.

In the twentieth century, towering intellectuals such as Albert Einstein and Peter Drucker loved to ask provocative questions.

One morning a young Einstein watched the sun glittering off a field of flowers. He asked himself, “Could I travel on that beam of light? Could I reach or exceed the speed of light?” Later, he told a friend, “I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious.”

Drucker is considered to be one of the most profound thinkers in the field of management. He was famous for his intense questioning sessions with clients.

Rather than offering advice, Drucker would pose simple but penetrating questions such as, “What business are you really in?” And, “What do your customers value most?”

When a journalist once referred to him as a consultant, Drucker objected. He said he was actually an “insultant”—a nod to the tough, direct questions he liked to ask his clients.

Great artists have always understood the role of questions. It is no accident that the most famous dramatic passage in all of literature is built around a single question. “To be, or not to be, that is the question,” says Shakespeare's Prince Hamlet as he contemplates life and death.

We use the phrase power questions as the title of this book. That's because the questions we select have the power to give new life to your conversations in unexpected and delightful ways. They are powerful tools to get directly to the heart of the matter. They are the keys to opening locked doors.

Each of the next 34 short chapters recounts a conversation or situation that was transformed through one or more power questions. We've used real-life examples in order to illustrate how and when to use the questions. In the final section of this book, called “Not Just for Sunday,” we list another 293 power questions. Using these additional questions will help you succeed in a variety of professional and personal situations.

Learning to use the power of questions can dramatically increase your professional and personal effectiveness. This book will help you build and deepen relationships. Sell more of your products, services, and ideas. Motivate others to give more effort than they ever thought possible. And become more effective at influencing clients, colleagues, and friends.

Are you ready to use the transformational power of great questions? Read on.

2

If You Don't Want to Hit Bottom, Stop Digging the Hole

Even when I think about it today, it still makes me cringe. It was an embarrassing moment of youthful naïveté. I wanted to shine, but I fell flat on my face.

The 1960s pop group Procol Harum said it perfectly when they sang, “My befuddled brain is shining brightly, quite insane.”

We're meeting with a major telecommunications company that my consulting firm wants to do business with. I'm a newly promoted partner in the firm. I am eager—oh, so eager—to make my mark by acquiring a major new client.

I'm determined to make this meeting a success. I arrive armed to the teeth. Masses of supporting evidence. We will establish ourselves as not just the best choice but the only consultant of choice for this company.

There are three of us and five of them. Several of their group are vice presidents with significant responsibilities. Not at the top, but senior enough. They invite us into a spacious conference room. It's not the boardroom—the table has a black laminated top instead of hardwood. But it's sufficiently elegant. We look around approvingly.

I bring thick binders for them. Hefty decks of PowerPoint slides. Plenty of in-depth documentation.

It turns out that was absolutely the wrong kind of preparation.

I should have studied Woodrow Wilson. He said, “If I am to speak 10 minutes, I need a week for preparation. If 15 minutes, three days. If half an hour, two days. If an hour, I am ready now.” I was certainly not prepared for brevity.

Then the first question from the client, the initial salvo. It's a softball pitch. Hard to mess that up.

“Tell us a bit about yourselves.”

I want to leave no doubt in their minds that we are uniquely qualified to help them. I tell them about the history of our firm, how it was formed by the merger of two other consulting firms. Having lived through it myself, I thought the story fascinating.

I describe our client base. I walk though some of our most important methodologies. I tell them about our joint-team approach to collaborating with clients. About how well we listen (I am too young to appreciate the irony of that claim).

I cannot bear to spare any of the essential facts. Facts that I know will impress them and make them quick to retain us. On the spot.

I am so focused on our qualifications, however, that I pretty much forget the client on the other side of the table. I don't realize how fast time flies when you're talking.

After nearly 30 minutes, my colleagues and I finally stop our presentation. There is silence.

One of the vice presidents reaches for something in a pile of folders. Is it a copy of their strategic plan they want to share with us? An organization chart to illustrate who else we should speak to at the company?

No. She is grabbing her appointment book. “This has been very helpful, thank you. I really do have to run to another meeting now.”

It's too late! We have built little personal rapport—actually none. We have achieved virtually no understanding of their goals, their issues, or their challenges. We lost our chance. Now we're being escorted out.

(Writing this, I hear the refrain from Bob Dylan's song “My Back Pages” echoing in my head: “Ah, but I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now.” I'm reminded there are no mistakes in life, only lessons).

Fast forward. It's now a year later. I am on a very similar sales call with my senior partner, DeWitt. He is a veteran of hundreds of such meetings. A wise sage. And the client asks us the same question: “Why don't you start by telling us about your firm?”

DeWitt pauses thoughtfully. He looks up, and asks, “What would you like to know about us?” Then he is silent.

(Often, we ask a question, and when there is even a small silence we ask it again in slightly different words. We can't resist filling the silence. Not DeWitt—he is very comfortable with silence. He long ago told me, “Once you've made your pitch, or you ask a question, shut up!”).

The client suddenly gets more specific. “Well, we are of course broadly familiar with what you do. I'd like to understand in particular what your capabilities are in Asia, and also how you work together internally.” This leads to an interactive and engaged conversation.

“I'm curious. Can you say more about ‘working together internally’?” DeWitt asks. “What prompted you to raise that?” He poses some more thoughtful questions. He shares with them a few examples of our recent client assignments. These are interesting stories that highlight how we have helped similar clients.

Because of DeWitt's questions, we learn about a bad experience this company had with another consulting firm. That firm had advertised themselves as being global, but the parts did not work together well. We learn about the client's expansion plans for Asia. We find out why they are seeking outside help.

DeWitt does something else I've never forgotten. He praises me to the client. Me, not himself! Instead of talking about his 25 years of experience—about his commanding knowledge of the industry—he talks about how lucky he is to have me on the team. He says I'm one of their brightest young partners. One of their hardest working. Me!

The discussion is different and infinitely richer than the one I had the prior year with the telecommunications company. It is the beginning of a new relationship.

A week later the company calls DeWitt. They invite us back for more discussions. Then a proposal. DeWitt ends up working with them until he retires, eight years later. They are now my client. A client for life.

After that meeting, I was happy to carry DeWitt's bag wherever we went.

When someone says, “Tell me about your company,” get them to be more specific. Ask, “What would you like to know about us?”

Similarly, if someone asks you, “Tell me about yourself,” ask them, “What would you like to know about me?”

Suggestions for How to Use This Question

“What would you like to know about us?”

When someone asks us a question, we rarely ask them to clarify exactly what it is they want to know. Have you ever watched someone give a five-minute answer to the wrong question—to a question they thought they heard but which wasn't actually asked? It's painful.

Always clarify what the other person is looking for. If someone says, “Tell me about yourself,” you could start with your birth—and talk for hours. Or, you could ask them what part of your background would most interest them, and start there.

When to use the question

When you are asked a general question that could potentially require a long answer.When time is short and you want to be sure that your very brief answer will be right on target.

Alternative versions of the question

“What part of my background interests you?”“What aspect of that situation would you like me to focus on?”“Before I answer that—have you had any experience with our organization in the past?”“What if I started by describing a couple of examples of recent work we've done for clients like you?”

Follow-up questions

“Does that answer your question?”“Is there anything else you'd like me to talk about?”

3

The Four Words

“Four words. That's all I want. Four damn words.”

I'm in George's office. He's pacing furiously. Back and forth. I'm beginning to see a clear path in his carpet.

George is Vice Chancellor of a major university in the Southeast. In my book, he's tops—and I've worked with a lot of university officers.

“Calm down,” I tell him. “You're going to explode. Sit.”

“What's this business about the four words?” I ask him. “What do you mean?”

The story begins. Unfortunately, I've heard it before from George. He had just come from a meeting of the senior officers of the university. Nothing had changed.

“We had another one of those stupid meetings with the Chancellor. We spent three full hours with him telling us what he thinks, what he wants to do, what his priorities are, and how he feels the university is doing under his leadership.”

George goes on about the Chancellor's uninterrupted ranting. I'm thinking that some folks aren't hard of hearing. They're hard of listening. That's George's Chancellor.

“If only once he would stop,” George goes on, “and ask us what we think. Just once. The four words I want him to say are, ‘What do you think?’”

George is correct. Those four words, What do you think?, are powerful. You are seeking an opinion. The person you're talking with wants you to listen. You've heard about people who talk too much. You never heard about a person who listens too much.

One evening, Thoreau wrote in his journal: “The greatest compliment was paid to me today. Someone asked me what I thought and actually attended to my answer.”

You cannot put on a pair of ice skates for the first time without looking a bit ridiculous. The art of listening can also be very slippery. Those four words George refers to are an excellent start. Ask, “What do you think about this?” Or, “How do you feel about that?”

The list of questions like this could go on. They are what we call open-ended questions. They can't be answered with a simple yes or no. They require an explanatory response.

Then you listen. You listen intently. It's what the Quakers call devout listening.

This may seem counterintuitive, but asking questions and then listening put you in control of the conversation. Because your questions require an answer, you are in the position of power. Good listeners are not only popular everywhere, but after awhile, they learn a thing or two.

I was reminded of all this the other day. I came across a caricature of Franklin Delano Roosevelt in one of my old files. He's leaning on his cane, bent markedly forward, listening intently to two men, obviously homeless, who appear to have stopped him somewhere.

I can't remember where I found the picture, but it's a priceless treasure. One of the men is small and scrappy-looking. His hands are in his pockets and he's leaning right into Roosevelt's face.

The other man is larger and older. He's wearing an ancient, ragged coat and is unshaved.

Roosevelt's regular grey fedora is somewhat smashed as always. He is bent far forward. It appears he is asking them what they think. He is attentive to every word that is being said to him. The caption underneath the caricature reads: “He knows how to ask how we feel.”

What do you think?—four potent and irresistible words. What we know is that the need to be heard turns out to be one of the most powerful motivating forces in human nature. People want to be heard!

Studies are quite clear that we care most about people who listen to us. People crave two things above all else. They seek appreciation and they want someone to listen to them.

There is nothing more potent than these four words: What do you think?

By the way, the story about George has a happy ending. The Chancellor ran for office and was elected Governor of the state. George was selected to succeed him as Chancellor. Oh, one thing more. Don't even try to guess. It's a real story but I've successfully changed the names.

Develop your reputation as a great listener. Draw others out and show you care about them by asking, “What do you think?”

Suggestions for How to Use This Question

“What do you think?”

“Many a man would rather you heard his story than granted his request,” wrote Philip Stanhope, the Fourth Earl of Chesterfield. Make those around you feel heard by asking the superb question: What do you think? You will open up a floodgate and become a sponge soaking up information.

Then listen. Listen aggressively. Listen attentively. Listen to the silence. Listen with your eyes. Listen!

You may not like what you hear when you ask the question. That's the risk you take. Just remember the seeds of progress are rooted in the unhappy person. It's the pebble in the shoe that causes you to take notice.

When to use the question

Whenever you are discussing a dilemma or planning a course of future action.After you have shared your views or presented a proposal.When someone comes to you with a problem.

Alternative versions of the question

“I value your opinion. Can I get your reaction to this?”“Would you be willing to share your views?”

Follow-up questions

“What has influenced your thinking about this the most?”“Are there any other perspectives I ought to be aware of?”

4

When the Sale Is Stuck

Dean Kamen is an extraordinary inventor. He has more than 100 patents to his name. He developed an insulin pump, a portable kidney dialysis machine, an electric wheelchair, and dozens of other innovations. He's backed by the wealthiest, brightest venture capitalists in the world. Few can match his record of success.

It's December 2001. Kamen is launching a new product that he says will completely revolutionize transportation around the world. He has been working on it in absolute secrecy for a decade.

It is the Segway, a battery-powered personal transportation device. The market? Six billion people. It is heralded with tremendous fanfare. In anticipation of its unveiling, Newsweek predicts it will be one of the most important inventions of the century.

Kamen claims that within a year, his spanking new factory will be churning out 10,000 Segways a week, with a price tag of nearly $5,000 each. According to Wired magazine, Kamen figured that “Executives at companies like FedEx and American Express would behold his high-tech superscooter and wonder how they'd managed all these years without it.”

Actually, the factory ended up shipping about 10 Segways a week, not 10,000. A decade later, 50,000 have been sold rather than the tens of millions that were predicted.

Ride a Segway to work? To school? Not really. People had cars, buses, trains—and their two feet. No one felt a need that had to be fulfilled by an electric, upright scooter. Individuals didn't. Corporations didn't. Governments didn't.

Segway could not affirmatively answer the first question that determines whether someone will buy: Does the buyer have a significant problem or opportunity that the solution addresses?

No need? No sale.