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- Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
- Kategorie: Fachliteratur
- Sprache: Englisch
The Relationship Laws that Drive Success There are powerful but invisible laws that determine whether your relationships --with your clients, colleagues, and friends--will thrive or wither. These relationship laws are ever-present. When you align with them, the results are dramatic. Your network will grow rapidly. You'll be seen by clients as a trusted partner rather than an expense to be managed. And you'll find the people around you eager to help you succeed. When you ignore the laws, however, your efforts will falter. Relationship building will seem like very hard work. Power Relationships gives readers a unique, entertaining guide to relationship success at work and in life. Each of the 26 laws is illustrated and explained using a compelling, real-life story that shows how to implement it. The second section of the book presents 16 common relationship challenges with specific solutions. You'll read about: * The top Citigroup executive whose relationship with a CEO was changed forever on a business trip that exploded into chaos, and how you can use the same principle to deepen your own relationships. * The philanthropist who, on the verge of being mugged in a dark parking lot, learns how his actions have had an unimaginable ripple effect across several generations * How one of the authors flew halfway around the world and used Law 18--"Make them curious"--to turn a make-or-break, five-minute meeting with a top executive into a long-term relationship. * The chance encounter on an airplane with a famous actor that revealed a simple but profound truth. It's Law 25: "Build your network before you need it." Sobel (author of Clients for Life, All for One, and Power Questions (with Panas)) and Panas (author of Asking and Supremely Successful Selling) have sold over half a million books and are the leading authorities in their field. Power Relationships is a unique, road-tested guide to relationship success.
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Seitenzahl: 214
Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2013
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Contents
Cover
Praise for Power Relationships
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Download the Free Power Relationships Planning Guide
Chapter 1: The Missing Ingredient
Chapter 2: Be Audacious
Chapter 3: Where Were You?
Chapter 4: The Greatest Gift
Chapter 5: What's the Agenda?
Chapter 6: The Billionaire and the Minister
Chapter 7: Beware of a Cart Pulling a Horse
Chapter 8: Found Guilty
Chapter 9: Never Steal a Bacon Sandwich
Chapter 10: Oops!
Chapter 11: Don't Forget Your Wallet
Chapter 12: A Night in the Garbage Bin
Chapter 13: Don't Wait
Chapter 14: A Little Help for Your Friends
Chapter 15: Make It So
Chapter 16: A Puppy Tale
Chapter 17: The Carrot and the Stick
Chapter 18: Draw Them In
Chapter 19: Color Me Pink
Chapter 20: Are You Clever or Wise?
Chapter 21: For the Sheer Joy of It
Chapter 22: A Tale of Two Cities
Chapter 23: To Die For
Chapter 24: Start an Epidemic
Chapter 25: Build It First
Chapter 26: A Pebble in a Pond
Applying the Laws
About the Authors
Praise for Power Relationships
“Relationships come about in different ways: Adversity, kindness, luck, planning, and humility can all play their part. Andrew and Jerry—in their inimitable style and with the credibility of experts in the field—illustrate practically and amusingly how relationships are created that are lasting and mutually beneficial.”
—Sir Win Bischoff, Chairman, Lloyds Banking Group
“Power Relationships provides the perfect advice and examples on how to build relationships that truly work. It's an enjoyable read that will produce real results. I hope every person in Grant Thornton throughout the world reads the book, and that our competitors do not.”
—Ed Nusbaum, Global CEO, Grant Thornton International
“Jerry and Andrew have written a book that unlocks the secret of relationship building. Relationships govern our personal world and everything we do. It is the zest in our life—with our family, colleagues, and clients. Power Relationships is the best-written book on the subject. I want all of our staff and employees to have a copy.”
—Mark Cummings, President and CEO, ScotiaLife Insurance Company
“I wish everyone could read Power Relationships. It would be a better world. This book leads the way. It proves to me that if business is based only on monetary gain, you will not solve an issue without a fight. Read Power Relationships for the answer.”
—Alan Hassenfeld, Former CEO and Chairman of the Board, Hasbro, Inc.
“Sobel and Panas have added real substance to the basic truth that success in life depends on relationships between people. One cannot hope to excel in sales, supervision, service, or personal growth without sensitivity to the 26 tenets that the authors identify and explain persuasively. The many short stories that illustrate the main points in this volume are a delight to read.”
—Richard Ekman, PhD, President, Council of Independent Colleges
“If you believe your business should be all about the client, you'll find Power Relationships a truly powerful book. It clearly shows how to create win-wins with your most important clients and prospects.”
—Francesco Vanni d'Archirafi, CEO, Citi Holdings, Citigroup
“I loved the laws of Power Relationships. The wisdom in these laws is founded on a purposeful yet selfless curiosity in our fellow man. Follow them and watch your fortunes improve. I will even share this book with my children as it holds many great lessons.”
—Steve Thomas, President, Global Sales, Experian
“The easier it is to connect, the easier it is to communicate. It is what I remind our IGA Associates who serve the customers of our 6,000 stores throughout 21 countries. All of us at IGA thank Jerold Panas and Andrew Sobel for giving us 26 irrefutable laws in their newest book, Power Relationships. It will be an immense help in enabling us to blend and collaborate with our millions of shoppers.”
—Thomas S. Haggai, Chairman, IGA Associates
“I was hooked after reading the first couple of chapters—what a neat book! Power Relationships provides amazing insight presented through engaging stories. I see our best people at ZS Associates applying some of the relationship laws in the book. Our firm can clearly benefit from these practical ideas, as can anyone responsible for clients and customers.”
—Jaideep Bajaj, Chairman, ZS Associates
“Don't be confused. Power Relationships isn't about power. It's about building relationships that will stand the test of time. This book is solid advice for all aspects of all our lives.”
—Dick DeVos, President, The Windquest Group and Former CEO Amway
“Mark Twain said it first: ‘Common sense is indeed an uncommon quality.’ Andrew and Jerry say it throughout Power Relationships in ways that put context and guiderails around social interactions. Like all great life coaches, these seasoned authors prepare us for life's journey, be it leaving for college as teens or traipsing the globe as corporate warriors. Buy the book. There is much to be gained from such a small investment.”
—Daniel M. Cain, Founder and Chair, Cain Brothers, LLC
“It takes a life fully lived to write about power relationships. Andrew Sobel and Jerold Panas have each lived that life experience. They understand that real power is life giving. It's about meeting people where they are; listening to them; affirming their gifts and then calling them forth. Power Relationships is written for those of us who want to live life more fully; who are willing to risk and be vulnerable; who discover that it is in our sharing together of life experiences that we find meaning and wholeness.”
—The Right Reverend Frank S. Cerveny, IV Bishop of Florida
“Power Relationships is a must read. It doesn't matter if the reader is not in a firm or engaged in business. It's for everyone. Andrew and Jerry's message and useful suggestions are inspiring and character building. Their approach makes their material fun to read. Each short chapter contains a parable based on a real-life experience. Varied and rich personal anecdotes provide lessons which may come as a surprise, at least to those who view power as a means to wield leverage over an adversary. Power in this book has another meaning. It is a means to achieve a goal. I am going to recommend this book to everyone I come in contact with—to executives, to leaders, to aspiring professionals, to everybody.”
—Francisco Gill Díaz, Secretary of Finance under President Vincente Fox and Regional Chairman of Telefónica for Mexico & Central America
“I am delighted that Jerry and Andrew have dug deep into the study of human relationships, putting them at the forefront, both in business and at home. The 26 Laws for building Power Relationships describe some amazing ideas, from the first law about the importance of listening and holding great conversations to the last law on generosity and its dramatic effect. This book will transform organizations and individuals to be audacious, innovative, and persistent. It transforms principles of relationships into a program you can use in your everyday life.”
—Jaime Santibáñez Andonegui, CEO IMPULSA/Junior Achievement Worldwide
Cover image: power icon © iStockphoto.com/Zeffss1; background art © iStockphoto.com/RomanOkopny
Cover design: Wiley
Copyright © 2014 by Andrew Sobel and Jerold Panas. All rights reserved.
Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey.
Published simultaneously in Canada.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, (978) 750-8400, fax (978) 646-8600, or on the web at www.copyright.com. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, (201) 748-6011, fax (201) 748-6008, or online at www.wiley.com/go/permissions.
Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with the respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional where appropriate. Neither the publisher nor the author shall be liable for damages arising herefrom.
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Wiley publishes in a variety of print and electronic formats and by print-on-demand. Some material included with standard print versions of this book may not be included in e-books or in print-on-demand. If this book refers to media such as a CD or DVD that is not included in the version you purchased, you may download this material at http://booksupport.wiley.com. For more information about Wiley products, visit www.wiley.com.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data:
Sobel, Andrew, 1955-
Power relationships: 26 irrefutable laws for building extraordinary relationships/Andrew Sobel and Jerold Panas.
pages cm
ISBN 978-1-118-58568-9 (cloth); 978-1-118-83096-3 (ebk); 978-1-118-83097-0 (ebk)
1. Customer relations. 2. Consumers–Professional relationships. 3. Interpersonal relations. I. Panas, Jerold. II. Title.
HF5415.5.S6216 2014
650.1′3–dc23
2013033121
The relationships in one's life are not just important—they are everything. In our business, at home, and among friends, relationships touch our lives in wondrous ways. They are the threads that weave through the fabric of our entire being. This book is dedicated to all who wish to experience the thrill and magic of power relationships. May they bring you fulfillment and success.
Download the Free Power Relationships Planning Guide
To help you harness the 26 Relationship Laws, we've prepared and in-depth Power Relationships Planning Guide. It's a comprehensive, free ebook with dozens of worksheets and checklists that will enable you to put the Relationship Laws to work in your daily life. Go to either one of our websites to download it immediately:
http://andrewsobel.com or http://panaslinzy.com.
1
The Missing Ingredient
We're going to tell you about 26 irrefutable laws that will help you build power relationships. These are professional and personal relationships characterized by trust, loyalty, respect, and generosity. They enable you to thrive in your career and give you deep personal fulfillment.
Our power laws apply without exception. They pass the tests of experience and common sense. You ignore them at your own peril.
We developed these laws based on extensive research. We have conducted thousands of interviews with senior executives and other personal contacts about the ingredients of enduring professional relationships. We've held endless conversations with high-achieving individuals in business and in the nonprofit sector. The laws we describe in these chapters have been percolating through the more than 25 books that we've written over the last 30 years.
These laws will enable you to engage with others in a way you never thought possible. Create lasting friendships. Win at work and in your profession. Connect as never before.
Study the laws. Leverage them. Follow them. You'll get powerful results.
Let us introduce you to the First Relationship Law. The story is about our friend Bill Jenkins. One day he got a wake-up call that changed his life.
Bill is a partner at a prestigious professional firm. He's bright and personable and holds two science degrees from top universities. In the past, he had so-so relationships with his clients. Mostly mediocre, he tells us. But something changed.
Within two years Bill rose to become one of the top rainmakers in his organization. He accomplished this transformation because he dropped his old beliefs about how to connect with his clients. He began following a new set of relationship laws.
“I had a client in New York,” Bill explains to us. “He was the regional CEO for a large multinational corporation. I would see him about three times a year. One day, when I'm leaving his office, his executive assistant, Deborah, pulls me aside. I've got my briefcase in one hand and a large PowerPoint presentation in the other.
“‘You know,’ Deborah begins, ‘My boss really enjoys having a conversation with you. You ought to come more often.’
“‘Well, I'm delighted he enjoys our meetings,’ I tell Deborah. ‘I do come fairly regularly. And we really prepare for these sessions.’ I nod towards the thick presentation deck I brought with me.
“Deborah looks around, to see if anyone else might be listening. ‘Your competitors are coming more often,’ she says, now in a lowered voice.
“‘Thanks for that information,’ I tell her. ‘But I do feel like we have a good relationship. And I bring him lots of first-class analysis.’ I shake the slide presentation one more time to draw her attention to it.
“She now leans toward me, whispering. I feel like she's about to share an enormous secret. ‘I must tell you, my boss has confessed to me that he views those PowerPoint slides as the price he has to pay to have a good conversation with you!’
“At this point, I am stunned. I start thinking about all those slides I've dragged into my client's office!”
“What happened next?” we ask Bill.
“I reflect long and hard about this encounter. And I begin to change how I interact with the CEO and his other executives. I start seeing him more often. Our meetings are more casual and personal—sometimes over lunch, occasionally for coffee in the early morning.
“I start learning much more about his agenda, including his personal goals and ambitions. Because I'm seeing him more often, I'm in the flow of his daily life and can add more value to his day-to-day challenges.
“I still prepare for our conversations, but I don't often bring the PowerPoint slides. I start offering more ideas about his overall business challenges and growth opportunities.
“And as I learn about additional issues his company faces, I'm able to introduce other colleagues and expand our work. The CEO begins to see my firm and me as contributing to his company's growth strategy, not just as a spare set of hands to do operational analyses. Our discussions become more wide-ranging. We both seem to find our time together more enjoyable.
“Within two years,” Bill tells us, “this becomes one of the largest revenue-producing clients at my firm. And I never go back to my old style that was all facts and figures. Never. Facts and figures might be an important part of your work, but they don't take you to the highest level of relationship building.”
“What was your biggest insight?” we ask him.
“This is what I realized that day: You build strong relationships through great conversations, not one person showing the other how much they know. Some of my beliefs about what my clients valued had been wrong.”
Bill's experience reinforced something we've observed for many years. The underlying assumptions you have about what leads to a good relationship make a huge difference in your behavior. And some of your assumptions may be the wrong ones.
Follow the right laws, however, and you build a vital network. You develop deep connections with clients, colleagues, influencers, family, and friends. You create an abundance of power relationships. Bill Jenkins did, and so can you.
Bill gives us the First Law of Relationships for this book: Power relationships are based on great conversations, not one person showing the other how much they know.
2
Be Audacious
“I would like to speak to Mr. Penney, please.”
The next voice I hear is J.C. Penney's. It's James Cash Penney, one of the greatest merchants of the last century and founder, at the time, of the largest retail chain in the nation. I'm actually on the phone with him!
I'll tell you more about the phone call in a moment. First, let me explain what led up to it.
I am in my early 20s. The Chamber of Commerce in Alliance, Ohio, has put me in charge of their Annual Meeting. A pretty bold move on their part for entrusting someone so young with the task. As one of my responsibilities, I have to get a keynote speaker for the meeting.
The year before, the Chamber drew 600 guests to its Annual Meeting. Being a bit obsessive and wanting to make a good impression on community leaders, I'd like to attract 750 men and women. I know it will take a very well known name to get that kind of a crowd.
I've just finished reading a book written by J.C. Penney. I am transformed. I call Ed Ahrens, manager of the local Penney's store.
“Ed, do you think there would be any possibility of getting J.C. Penney to come to Alliance to speak at the Chamber's Annual Meeting? Would you be willing to call him?”
“No. Not a chance. No way. And don't ask me again to try to get him. I would be embarrassed to even make the call.”
So I do what you would expect. I go ahead on my own. I make the call. And now you know about the phone call. Here's how the conversation went.
“Mr. Penney, I just finished reading your book, Jottings from a Merchant's Daybook. I was mesmerized. If I know anything about you, you would not take no for an answer before even asking. Am I right about that?”
“Absolutely!”
“That's what I thought. Mr. Penney, we are having an Annual Meeting of the Chamber of Commerce in Alliance, Ohio. You have a great store here on Main Street. We want you to be our speaker. You are our only choice. I'll turn out the entire town for you.” My voice is confident, but my heart is racing.
“I'd love to come,” he says. “When is it?”
I give him the date. He does come. And we do turn out the whole town. Well, nearly a thousand people.
The phone call, and then the Meeting, turned into a lasting relationship. One that changed my life. I'll tell you about that in a bit. But first, the lesson. Here is the Second Law of Relationships: Be unafraid to ask. That's what I did—and you can do it, too. Reaching out to the right person could change and enrich your life forever.
Back to the Annual Meeting. It was a huge success. After the Meeting, I had the 86-year-old wonder sign copies of his book. We sold nearly 200 books.
When we left the auditorium and parted, we said our goodbyes. His final words to me were: “I wish you were a Penney man.” I suspect this is the highest possible praise coming from J.C. Penney. I didn't walk to my car—I floated.
From that time on, I maintained an ongoing relationship with Mr. Penney (always Mr. Penney). Every time I went to New York, we would have dinner. His wife was gone by then, and he seemed pleased to see me.
The relationship grew. He was the grandfather I never had. He loved telling me about his first store in Kemmerer, Wyoming—and how it grew into another. And another. He often talked about his mother. She was his greatest inspiration.
He never tired of giving me advice. His favorite was: “Work hard. Work as if your life depends on it. It does.”
I believe Mr. Penney was 91 when I got a call from his housekeeper. “Mr. Penney fell against the glass in the shower yesterday morning. He's at the hospital. I think he would want me to tell you.” And, of course, I go to see him.
It is a few years later before I go to see Mr. Penney again. He is failing. He doesn't speak. It's a moment I will never forget. I am sitting beside his hospital bed. Once in a while, he opens his eyes for a moment. I am certain he doesn't know who I am. I hold his hand, this man who has become my grandfather, my hero.
There is no recognition. I get ready to leave. Then I stop. It seems he is trying to tell me something. His lips are moving.
I bend close. I can barely hear him. I lean closer. He whispers.
“I wish you had been a Penney man.”
3
Where Were You?
If you ever have a legal problem, call Catherine. She's a lawyer's lawyer. Smart, experienced, and calm under fire. She's been in the trenches, and also looked down at the trenches from on high. She sees the big picture as well as the minute details of every legal issue.
But there's a problem. You and I probably couldn't afford Catherine. She's a senior partner with a large, international law firm. She's worth every penny she charges, but her billing rate is out of this world. You have to have very deep pockets to get her services. That pretty much narrows the field down to a handful of large corporations who are facing bet-the-business decisions.
Oh, there's one other thing. Before becoming a senior partner at her law firm, Catherine was the general counsel for one of the largest companies in the world. It's a powerful and important position. For most, it would be the crowning achievement of an extraordinary career. Because of this, Catherine has what they call “street cred”—that is, the credibility that only comes from having had to live by your wits in the rough-and-tumble real world of business.
I'm having breakfast with Catherine, and I decide to get some free counsel. Not about legal matters—about relationships.
“Catherine,” I begin, “I'm curious. As a senior partner, you are trying to build relationships with in-house counsel at large companies and sell your legal services to them. But just a few years ago you were the general counsel. You hired lawyers and law firms all over the world.” I pause. “So tell me—what it's like being on the other side of the desk?”
Catherine stops eating. She shifts her gaze away from her scrambled eggs to me. I think I see a hint of a smile.
“Before I got promoted, I was the deputy general counsel at my company. But even though it was a very important position, the outside law firms we worked with—and other types of consultants—always wanted to talk to my boss, the general counsel. They often tried to bypass me. They thought he made all the decisions, and they invested everything in their relationship with him. They treated me more like a gatekeeper.”
I can see where this is going!
