Self-Esteem For Dummies E-Book

S. Renee Smith

• Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
• Kategorie: Ratgeber
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 634

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2014

Beschreibung

Boost your self-esteem and truly believe that you are perfectly awesome Looking to get your hands on some more self-esteem? You're not alone. Thankfully, Self-Esteem For Dummies presents clear, innovative, and compassionate methods that help you identify the causes of low self-esteem--as well the lowdown on the consequences. Packed with trusted, hands-on advice to help you improve your overall self-worth, Self-Esteem For Dummies arms you with the proven tools and techniques for learning how to think and behave with more self-assurance at work, in social situations, and even in relationships. Self-esteem is shaped by your thoughts, relationships, and experiences. When you were growing up, your successes, failures, and how you were treated by your family, teachers, coaches, religious authorities, and peers determined how you feel about yourself. But you can shift your thinking and reclaim your self-worth with the help of Self-Esteem For Dummies. * Helps you understand the ranges of self-esteem and the benefits of promoting self-esteem * Arms you with the tools to learn how to think and behave with more self-assurance * Covers the importance of mental wellbeing, assertiveness, resilience, and more * Shows you how to improve your self-image, increase personal power, and feel better about yourself If you're looking to boost your sense of self-worth, Self-Esteem For Dummies sets you on the path to a more confident, awesome you.

Leseprobe

Self-Esteem For Dummies®

Published by: John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030-5774, www.wiley.com

Copyright © 2015 by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey

Published simultaneously in Canada

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Library of Congress Control Number: 2014948541

ISBN 978-1-118-96709-6 (pbk); ISBN 978-1-118-96710-2 (ebk); ISBN 978-1-118- 96711-9 (ebk)

Manufactured in the United States of America

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Self-Esteem For Dummies®

Visit www.dummies.com/cheatsheet/selfesteem to view this book's cheat sheet.

Table of Contents

Introduction

About This Book

Foolish Assumptions

Icons Used in This Book

Beyond the Book

Where to Go From Here

Part I: The Lowdown on Self-Esteem

Chapter 1: The Nature of Self-Esteem

Defining Self-Esteem

Understanding the Foundations of Self-Esteem

Healthy Self-Esteem versus Low Self-Esteem

Taking care of yourself

Looking at positive and negative self-talk

Discarding unsuccessful strategies for improvement

Considering whether you can have too much self-esteem

Enhancing Your Self-Awareness

Designing and Attaining Your Goals

Creating Healthy Relationships

Being Successful at Work

Cultivating Self-Esteem in Others

Chapter 2: Understanding the Impacts of Low Self-Esteem

Discovering the Consequences of Low Self-Esteem

Recognizing what happens when you feel insignificant

Exploring the negative impacts of low self-esteem

Becoming Aware of the Consequences of Doing Nothing

Continuing the feelings of fear and shame

Going into guilt and depression

Maintaining social phobias

Not addressing body image problems

Having poor relationships

Having low self-confidence

Staying stuck at work

Relying on alcohol or drugs

Chapter 3: Where Does Low Self-Esteem Come From?

Understanding How Self-Esteem is Nurtured and Damaged

Considering family impacts

Looking at the influence of your peers

Recognizing how society affected your self-esteem

Examining the Truth of Your Core Beliefs

Identifying common negative core beliefs

Becoming aware of your core beliefs by listening to your inner voice

Tuning into your resulting automatic thoughts

For females: Paying attention to familiar core beliefs

For males: Looking at customary core beliefs

Realizing how your core beliefs create your life

Learning from Past Adversity

Facing and overcoming difficulties

Developing empathy for yourself and others

Trusting your ability to handle problems

Chapter 4: Measuring Your Self-Esteem

Identifying the Indicators of Self-Esteem

Considering Your Life As It Is Now

Creating a Personal Profile

Seeing your strengths

Seeing your weaknesses

Making a Commitment to Transform

Developing the Power to Make Changes

Recognizing that you need to change

Imagining being different

Taking action

Maintaining your new identity

Part II: Expressing a Positive Attitude

Chapter 5: Affirming and Visualizing Your Better Self

Benefiting from Repeating Positive Affirmations

Understanding why affirmations are effective

Reviewing common affirmations

Discovering the tricks of writing your own affirmations

Visualizing Your Growth

Discovering how visualization works

Getting the most out of your visualizations

Finding Your Passion Within

Chapter 6: Nurturing Yourself to Create Happiness

Taking Care of Your Body

Eating healthy foods

Getting enough exercise

Sleeping deeply

Focusing on Positive Emotions

Acting to increase uplifting emotions

Taking control of a bad mood

Fostering a Healthy Mind

Talking to yourself the way a loving parent or best friend would

Finding positive meaning to events

Making Assertive “I” Statements

Disclosing your opinions, wants, and needs

Saying no to others’ requests

Requesting cooperation or support

Confronting a person when there’s a problem

Dealing with aggressive people

Using body language to complement your assertive speech

Chapter 7: Creating a Healthy Body Image

Pinning Down What Body Image Means

The way you see yourself

The way you feel about your body

The thoughts you have about your body

The things you do as a result of your body image

Analyzing How Body Image Is Formed in Your Youth

Examining How Businesses Convince You to Buy Their Products

Evaluating Whether You Judge Yourself Accurately

Reconnecting with Your Body

Stopping the comparisons with others

Eliminating concentrating on a negative body image

Focusing on what you like about the way you look

Making the best of your good features

Promoting a healthy and happy lifestyle

Giving Yourself Credit for Your Entire Personality

Part III: Changing Your Negative Thoughts and Coming to Grips with Being a Perfectionist

Chapter 8: Dealing with Your Negative Self-Talk

Understanding How Self-Talk Can Become Harmful

Challenging the Many Ways You Talk to Yourself

Using mind-reading to create an unhappy story

Predicting a negative outcome is inevitable

Overgeneralizing about things that happen to you

Labeling yourself in a derogatory fashion

Blaming yourself for things that aren’t your fault

Focusing on the negative and discounting the positive

Overcoming the Problem of Using “Shoulds”

Recognizing the “shoulds” that make sense

Carrying around learned behaviors

Freeing yourself from your “shoulds”

Harnessing Your Power to Change Your Thinking

Identifying all of your positive qualities

Asking yourself whether your thoughts are reasonable

Detaching from your negative self-talk

Being compassionate with yourself

Chapter 9: Analyzing Perfectionism

Uncovering the Characteristics of Perfectionism

Feeling deeply upset if you make any mistakes

Thinking you’re stupid if you perform imperfectly

Rarely letting others help with your projects

Waiting to do things at the last minute — or maybe not at all

Being defensive if others criticize you

Handling relationships poorly

Becoming Aware of How Perfectionism Begins

Hearing criticism often

Having things done for you

Being compared to another child

Getting little attention or affection

Chapter 10: Dealing Positively with Perfectionism

Being a High Achiever Instead of Being Perfect

Recognizing the Positive Qualities of Doing the Best You Can

Letting Go of Impractical Expectations

Increasing Your Flexibility

Being more flexible at work

Being flexible in your relationships

Retraining Your Perfectionist Tendencies

How you think

How you feel

How you act

Part IV: Growing Your Self-Esteem

Chapter 11: Increasing Your Confidence through Self-Awareness

Getting to Know You

Discovering what you’re capable of

Appreciating the good, the bad — and the ugly

Believing in yourself

Listening to Yourself

Recognizing the sound of your own voice

Meeting life’s challenges

Making important decisions

Developing the Right Attitude

Expanding your mindset

Coming out of the box

Understanding that things may not be what you think they are

Rewiring your thought patterns

Taking Charge of Your Life

Believing in your dreams

Facing new changes

Chapter 12: Moving Beyond the Fear That’s Zapping Your Faith

Using Fear to Help You Grow

Understanding fear and where it comes from

Uncovering your core fears

Developing a friendship with your fears

Knowing your strength beyond what you see

Creating the Faith to Face Your Fears

Realizing the value of increasing your faith

Increasing your self-esteem by increasing your faith

Dealing with big challenges

Getting Your Mind, Mouth, and Motions in Alignment

Chapter 13: Creating and Reaching Your Goals

Measuring Success through Goal-Setting

Checking in with yourself and deciding what’s important to you

Naming your goals

Dealing with missed targets

Accomplishing Your Goals

Inspecting your internal driving forces

Setting long-term goals

Setting short-term goals

Watching out for people and resources to help you

Part V: Dissolving Internal Barriers to Success in Love and Work

Chapter 14: Examining Your Role in Creating Conflicts in Your Relationships

Becoming Aware of Internal Barriers

Looking at the impact of internal barriers

Listening to your body

Using your awareness to move yourself forward

Tracking Your Behavior in Relationships

How to track your behavior

Reflecting on what you’ve learned from your tracking

Appreciating the results

Using the information wisely

Creating Positive Behaviors That Build Lasting Relationships

Building and saving long-time relationships

Backing out of bad relationships with good behavior

Chapter 15: Rewriting Your Love Story

Pinpointing Your Location

Making Friends with Yourself

Assessing What You Like About Yourself

Setting Your Own Standards for Your Happiness

Knowing the Difference between Being Authentic and Inappropriate

Embracing Different Aspects of Your Personality

Accepting Who You Are and Living in Great Anticipation of Who You Can Be

Opening Up To New Opportunities in Life

Understanding your life lessons

Writing yourself a love letter

Chapter 16: Getting Beyond Loving Love

Breaking Through the Fantasy of Love

Understanding what love is

Appreciating what love should look and feel like

Preparing yourself for love

Identifying what you want in a romantic love relationship

Defining the terms of your ideal love relationship

Discovering How to Date Successfully

Dating with confidence

Enjoying the process of dating

Discovering your best dating system

Breaking through feelings of being judged

Building a Lasting Relationship

Liberating yourself from the need to please

Celebrating differences

Protecting yourself

Choosing a mate

Sharing your life

Chapter 17: Improving Personal Relationships

Understanding Relationship Dynamics

Putting your feelings in perspective

Separating your issues from others’

Improving Your Relationships With Your Family

Building relationships with blended and extended family members

Dealing with difficult family members

Detecting Where You Fit within Your Friendships

Creating deeper connections

Overcoming disagreements and hurt feelings

Assessing the value of personal friendships

Knowing when a friendship isn’t right for you

Balancing your old friends with your new future

Chapter 18: Re-Creating Your Image for Professional Success

Building an Effective Personal Brand

Letting Go of Failed Performances

Identifying Your Life Purpose, Message, and Value

Your purpose

Your message

Your value

Packaging Your Image

Nailing the Job You Want

Preparing Yourself for Success

Gearing up

Structuring your day for greater productivity

Positioning Yourself for Success

Nurturing yourself and your relationships for greater professional satisfaction

Moving up and building your self-esteem to support yourself

Chapter 19: Managing Your Relationships at Work

Building Effective Working Relationships

Reflecting on your current work relationships

Improving relationships for leaders

Improving relationships with leadership for employees

Connecting with coworkers

Establishing a Plan for Change

Enduring the Difficult Boss Without Sacrificing Yourself

Communicating effectively with a boss who’s difficult to work for

Addressing disrespectful treatment

Chapter 20: Presenting with Confidence

Exploring the Art of Public Speaking

Paying attention to what’s important

Learning what your audience is looking for

Deciding how to set up your presentation

Putting it all together

Shining During Your Presentation

Letting Go of Fear

Speaking Up Confidently in Meetings

Part VI: Nurturing Self-Esteem in Others

Chapter 21: Helping Family and Friends

Understanding Others and Their Life Journeys

Understanding what’s being said and what isn’t

Showing compassion and listening without judgment

Accurately assessing the situation

Deciding how to best serve

Coaching with Care, Purpose, and Impact

Believing in others when they don’t believe in themselves

Knowing when you’ve done all you can

Teaching Others How to Handle Challenging Times

Grappling with broken relationships

Digging deep to forgive others

Chapter 22: Helping Children and Teens Achieve Healthy Self-Esteem

Helping Children Develop in Complex Societies

Helping your children to understand who they really are

Believing in your children and those you mentor

Creating a Safe Place for Children to Share Their Feelings

Listening attentively

Assessing your child’s needs

Relating your values to your child

Teaching your child to be responsible

Showing children how to handle disappointment

Preparing Teens for Success

Monitoring your child and helping him make good decisions

Staying positive when dealing with a difficult teen

Part VII: The Part of Tens

Chapter 23: Ten Famous People Who Raised Their Self-Esteem

Helen Keller

Thomas Edison

Harriet Tubman

Theodore Roosevelt

Albert Einstein

Mahatma Gandhi

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Abraham Lincoln

Frederick Douglass

Eleanor Roosevelt

Chapter 24: Ten Approaches to Pursuing Excellence

Take Pleasure in What Brings You Satisfaction

Commit to Do What Is Required to Excel

Use Your Knowledge of Yourself and Your Goal

Have Enthusiastic Feelings That Lead to Creativity

Maintain an Upbeat Attitude About Yourself and Your Goal

Stay Focused on What You Want

Be Willing to Share Your Feelings with Others

Accept People for Who They Are and Look for the Good in Them

Have Flexibility and Balance in Your Life

Stick with Your Goal Until It’s Completed

Chapter 25: Ten Tips for Quickly Improving Your Self-Esteem

Become Proficient at Something You Enjoy

Read Websites, Books, and Articles That Uplift You

Review Three Things Every Evening That You Did Well That Day

Eliminate Behaviors That Waste Your Time

Make a List of Your Accomplishments

Ask Others to Go Out

Offer to Teach Your Skills to Someone Who Wants to Learn

Plan an Exciting Trip or Escapade to Do Something Fun

Volunteer for an Organization with a Worthy Cause

Get Started — It’s Time for You to Begin Your New Life!

About the Authors

Cheat Sheet

Guide

Table of Contents

Begin Reading

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Introduction

Self-esteem is a personal journey to understanding yourself and the value you bring to the world. We are delighted to have this amazing and humbling opportunity to guide you on this dynamic path of self-discovery. As a teacher and a coach of self-esteem building, we have combined our unique styles and experiences to bring you an engaging, life-changing, interactive reading experience to help you improve your self-esteem.