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Are you ready to love yourself more?
If so, then this guide is for you. Here, you will learn the 3 most powerful advantages of self-love, the motivation factors it can create and the ones that are behind it, and 8 great steps to love yourself more. Finding a partner can be easier, which is something we will explain in the last chapter. Also, some discussions about self-love versus narcissism will be revealed.
All in all, there is much you can learn from this short book; more than you might expect.
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Self-Love
Cultivate Self-Compassion, Self-Worth, and Confidence
By Lisa Herd
Table of Contents
Chapter 1: The 3 Powerful Science-Based Advantages of a Little Self-Love
Chapter 2: Motivation for Self-Love
Chapter 3: The 8 Most Powerful Steps to Self-Love
Chapter 4: Is Self-Love Healthy or Narcissistic?
Chapter 5: More about Narcissism
Chapter 6: Self-Love and Finding a Partner
Chapter 1: The 3 Powerful Science-Based Advantages of a Little Self-Love
Are you very critical of yourself? Do you beat yourself up because of failures? Do you work too much and push yourself too much without giving yourself some time to breathe? Do you feel the pressure to compete, exceed others, and get ahead of the pack? Do you live with shame or a sense of not being good enough? We live in a civilization that routinely tells us the message to attain more, work harder, win, be perfect, be the best at everything. There's obviously absolutely nothing wrong with having goals and dreams to chase after. Yet, most of us don't think whether our self-critical and competitive attitude is actually helping us attain these objectives or whether it might actually be standing in our way. New research suggests self-compassion may be a far remarkable option.
A Self-Defeating Propensity
Kristin Neff, associate professor, has indicated that when our self-worth depends on out-competing others, we just end up being more insecure and anxious: if we fail, we end up being highly self-critical, contributing to our anguish. Confronted with criticism, we become defensive and feel crushed. We forfeit in the face of challenge. In addition, competition promotes disconnection: rather than building social connection which research shows is essential to well-being, we see others as challenges to overcome and we ultimately feel more apart from others. The essential objective of our desire for success is to be effective, to belong, and to be loved yet ironically self-criticism and competition end up having the reverse impact. This is what's happening so much today, and most of us don't even see it, even though they stare at other people's social media lives and assume that those are perfect.
Self-Compassion: A Healthy Alternative that Reaps Results
Although self-criticism leaves us helpless and troubled, self-compassion is at the heart of empowerment, learning more, and confidence. With self-compassion, we value yourself not because we have judged ourselves positively and others adversely but because we're intrinsically deserving of care and concern like everyone else. Self-compassion means treating ourselves as we would a friend. Instead of scolding, judging, or adding to a friend's anguish, we listen with empathy and understanding, encourage them to recall that errors are regular, and confirm their emotions without including fuel to the fire. Neff defines self-compassion as "being kind and understanding toward oneself in circumstances of pain or failure instead of being roughly self-critical; perceiving someone's experiences as part of the bigger human experience instead of seeing them as isolating; and holding unpleasant thoughts and feelings in conscious consciousness rather than over-identifying with them." This is so important. Don't underestimate this.
Self-critical over-achievers aren't the only ones that are devoid of self-compassion. Some of the kindest people do also. In fact, sometimes they lack more self-love than the great accomplishing, ambitious so-called heroes. Neff's work validates this observation: There is really no correlation between the quality of self-compassion and emotions of empathy toward others. Many people, women specifically, are more compassionate and kinder towards besides to themselves. Luckily, self-compassion can be learned. It's a practice that can help all of us become less self-critical and, by stopping the stress and chaos thereof, allow us to be happier, more successful, and of greater service to others. This practice is what we will focus on now.
1. Self -Compassion Causes Increased Strength
Self-compassion does not mean we stop working hard and aiming for success. Instead, it is a change in attitude and is linked with greater wellness and remarkable performance outcomes. Nor does self-compassion indicate debauchery. This is an example: a parent who cares about her kid will demand the kid eating vegetables and doing her homework, no matter how unpleasant these experiences are for the kid. Similarly, taking it easy on yourself could be proper in some circumstances, yet in times of over-indulgence and laziness, self-compassion includes conditioning and being accountable.
2. Self-Compassion Results In Increased Productivity
Anytime you feel inspired by self-compassion, you comprehend failure not as a painful indicator of defeat but as a knowing chance from which development can follow. While self-criticism results in painful and self-defeating feelings in the face of failure, Self-Compassion thus embraces challenge. People with higher self-compassion are for that reason more likely to enhance their performance after failure! Furthermore, by preventing the beating effects of self-criticism, self-compassion permits us to maintain peace of mind and consequently retain our energy. By remaining calm and understanding in the face of rejection, failure or criticism, we develop level-headedness, strength and emotional stability which enable us to have higher well-being and to be more productive and successful.
