Seven Days in Silence E-Book

Stephan Bielfeldt

• Herausgeber: Books on Demand
• Kategorie: Ratgeber
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 179

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2024

Beschreibung

A small group of perhaps 10 or 30 people come together to spend some days in silent meditation. It is not important which gender, ethnicity or religion they might identify with; all are welcome. Old age or physical disability is not a hindrance. This meditation is open for everyone. Sitting silently in a hall, breathing, sensing the body, seeing the light reflected from the floor, being in touch with the people around. Who or what are we to be? Nobody special? Can it be enough to flow with the stream of aliveness, which is here in utter simplicity, no separation, no wanting, no missing? When no separating thoughts or feelings appear, everything is complete as it is. How do we live our everyday lives? Is there space to open up, to become aware? Are we truly in touch with what surrounds us or what is inside of us? Honestly, our lives are crowded with constant thoughts, actions and reactions. We are often overwhelmed and we switch to 'autopilot' to get through the daily challenges. Are we victims of our automated programs? Is it inevitable to live most of the time in chaos, feeling helplessly exposed to a world that offers not even a moment to contemplate? The central expression of this book is awareness. Awareness is a state of being present in the actual moment, being here in the actual truth that unfolds directly in front of our eyes. Everything is already complete here. Can we simply sense it, feel it - without judgment, without knowledge or explanation? No need to identify with anything. What drives us? The impulses to act, are we aware of them? A new understanding of all life and nature, including us, may dawn from such simple silent awareness. Not a new concept of the world or of who we are. Concepts are part of the observed. Awareness is an understanding emerging from the truth of this moment.

Leseprobe

For Toni

Content

Foreword

Acknowledgements

Introduction

The First Evening

Day 1: What is Meditation?

Day 2: Feelings

Day 3: Ego Mind

Day 4: What Sustains Us?

Day 5: Conflict and Decision Making

Day 6: Awareness in Everyday Life

Postscript

Recommended Books and Contacts

Bibliography

About the Author

Foreword

Many years ago, I went to a workshop on Non-Violent Communication. Participants performed little sketches in which they found themselves caught up in emotionally stressful situations. It was an exercise in not giving in to one’s learned impulses (for example, blaming others), but rather in giving a voice to that sensitivity that is always present within.

It was in this workshop that I came to realize that most people have no idea what their feelings are in the moment. Instead, they often describe a complex mixture of feelings, concepts and patterns of reactions that determine our words and actions at any given moment. How can we change anything when we are not even aware of what “is”?

It is this possibility of finding out what really “is” that Stephan Bielfeldt brings into focus in his talks. For him, meditation means being still and quiet before one’s self and others, with respect and with dignity. It means cultivating a way of looking and seeing that allows us to learn how we can better know who we are and understand that which makes us content and brings happiness. With intelligence and unassumingly he finds a way of creating an atmosphere of clarity and intensity that is very much his own.

He constantly arouses one’s curiosity rather than giving ready answers, and proposes that we undertake a voyage of discovery without knowing where it will lead and without knowing what we may discover. With knowledge and clarity of insight, Stephan confronts the challenges that present themselves in this work. We are creatures of our genes, but we can change and accept full responsibility for our actions. His is a creative approach, and in different ways shows us how, through meditation, we may become aware of the many contradictions in our lives and how we can come to trust that which comes out of the work of meditation. You can sense that he is speaking from personal experience, and feel his joy at sharing it with others.

Dagmar Apel

April 2023

Acknowledgements

I want to thank my wife, Sabine, who has been by my side from the very beginning of my meditation work. She has been my faithful partner in the countless conversations about the work of meditation and about this book. After she had transcribed the recordings of the talks herein presented, she convinced me that they belonged between the covers of a book: it would not have come into being without her steadfast support and encouragement.

My thanks go out to my friend, Joachim Stueben, for his most helpful suggestions about the content and lay-out of the book. His professional over-sight of the German edition was a great help and a big thankyou to Stacey McQuade for reviewing the English edition.

I want to thank Joan Tollifson for reading the manuscript and giving me advice how to publish in the USA and UK.

My thanks go out also to Dagmar Apel for her beautiful foreword. Her enthusiasm for the project was a great source of encouragement to me.

My thanks to everyone who works and teaches at Spring-water, which has become my spiritual home since the death of Toni Packer.

The seven-day retreat described in the book took place at the Seminarhaus Schlagsuelsdorf. I am grateful to everyone there for the warm welcome they extended to us.

My special thanks to the many people who took part in this and other seven-day retreats and who spoke with me in private meetings and took part in the group dialogues. I often think that I have learned more from them than they from me, such was their practical advice and especially their openness and trust. It is a pleasure for me to be able to give something back by means of this book.

It is a huge gift to me that a man of great understanding of the meditation work translated this book into English. I am very grateful to my dear friend Robert Watson for creating this English edition.

Introduction

“No talking for a whole week? I can’t even imagine doing something like that!” I always hear people say that when I talk about my seven-day silent retreats. When you don’t know something first hand, all sort of imaginings come up. But what is it really like to spend a whole week in silence, and why would one do it? In this book, I have set myself the task of introducing both people who have never meditated before and those who have already worked in various other traditions, to this free and open, non-traditional way of meditating.

The outer aspect is easy to describe: a small group of ten to thirty people come together in order to spend several days in stillness and silence. People of all backgrounds and traditions are welcome. Neither age nor health may be invoked as a reason not to meditate in this manner. You may adopt any posture you like, as your body allows, so that there is no strain on you as you meditate.

Retreats are at least four days in length but never more than ten, and take place in quiet surroundings, in a building where it is possible to remain in silence for the duration of the retreat. This means that we are in silence throughout the building and when we go outside. We come together to meditate, in a big room set aside for that purpose. We meditate in silence, but then all of our daily activities take place in silence – mealtimes, rest periods and also when we go for walks outside. When we come together to meditate, we sit on mats or benches or in chairs, but no particular posture is recommended, as is the case in other traditions. Everyone chooses the position that works best, and you are allowed to change position in the course of a round. A good sitting position will allow you to sit for a round of meditation without stress or strain, and also to stay awake. You can get advice about posture, but ultimately everyone has to experiment and find the postures that work best. In the course of a day of retreat, there are about twelve twenty-five-minute meditation periods, followed by five-minute periods of walking meditation. This you can do in the meditation hall or outside. After three or four rounds, there are longer breaks for mealtimes, rest periods or maybe to go for a walk.

Retreat participants are offered the greatest possible freedom. Apart from the general requirement to respect the silence and disturbing others as little as possible, your days are open to do as you please. Everyone decides for himself or herself if they want to sit for a round or take part in other activities, of which I will say more in a moment. I attach particular importance to people paying careful attention to how they feel, so that they can choose when to rest, move about or take part in rounds of meditation.

The silent sitting is important, but we also ask people to take care outside of the timed rounds of sitting, during meals for example. Meditation can be present during mealtimes when one is aware of much one is eating, and how quickly, and how the food tastes. Going to a retreat doesn’t mean you have to give things up or become an ascetic; quite the contrary. It means that you try to experience and enjoy the little things, like a meal or going for a walk in a meditative manner.

Even when participants don’t plan to do much in the retreat, there are various activities that take place every day. I give a talk every morning, there is group dialogue in the afternoon, and I also offer private meetings. Everything is optional. If you want to stay in silence and not say a word all week, you of course may do so. What does one do during the long periods of sitting meditation and the rest of the time, in a whole week of silent retreat? The answer is quite simple: listen, be aware. It is a matter of staying in the here and now, an inner state Toni Packer has called “awareness”.

Nothing is excluded, as we become aware of all that reveals itself from one moment to the next. There is no goal. With these words we are saying everything and we are saying nothing at all, because meditation is something you experience. You live it. Talking about meditation can be interesting, exciting even; however, if you do not do it, if you do not actually practice meditation and set time aside for it, with some intensity, as in timed rounds of sitting, then it just becomes another subject of intellectual interest.

No one who doesn’t have direct experience of how a seven-day retreat takes place can adequately describe these most simple of inner and outer forms. And no one has ever told me after their first retreat that it went exactly as they thought it would. In the final analysis, anyone really interested in meditation has to experience it directly and just go ahead and do it. How you meditate is not some kind of inaccessible mystery. It is perfectly possible to describe the essence of meditation in words, in speech or texts, which is what I have set out to do in this book. I should like people to approach meditation with something akin to playfulness. Feel free to experiment. Is it possible to enter into meditation as you read or as you raise your eyes from the page? What’s it like for you? Anyone can become aware of what is going on within and experience awareness in the here and now, for however briefly.

In such a moment you are present, and aware of your bodily sensations. You can observe the thoughts and feelings that arise even as you read these words. When we allow ourselves a brief pause, as when we read, then we make more such moments possible: then you are meditating as you read, as I see it.

Toni Packer’s books and talks foster this way of meditating. I shall say more about this in the last chapter of the book. When I read her words, a meditative mood asserts itself at once. This does not happen just to me. People often tell me that her words moved them to meditate, and that they want to seriously engage in the work.

My talks will speak for themselves. There are seven in all, from a seven-day retreat that took place in 2016. The texts are the edited recordings of these talks. I chose this form for the book because I didn’t want to talk about meditation and all that it entails in a theoretical manner. I wanted to use the very words that came out of the stillness and silence of meditation. My words are alive with the spirit of meditation and do not come from theorizing, and it is my hope and wish that the book will be read in a meditative manner. I am inviting you to meditate with me. Nor am I first and foremost trying to communicate information, rather I am speaking directly to that intuitive and affective understanding that is a wondrous gift we all possess. Even though the verb “to understand” usually is associated with intellectual understanding; true human understanding merges into feeling, so the book speaks especially about the feeling associated with what is being described.

If this book gives you, the reader, some idea of what the stillness and silence of meditation can contribute to your life, or if it encourages you to meditate, then I will have achieved my purpose.

The First Evening

02 October 2016

The first time you come to a new place or, as is the case for many participants, you come to retreat after a year away, then we have what we call “orientation”. Even when we know the place and recognize the people, everything is new like the first time. And for new people, the rules are all new and they don’t know most of the other people in the retreat. There is a feeling of strangeness and alertness. Some people might find this stressful or even unpleasant, but the senses become focused and alert. All the senses become sharper and this makes it easier to see this with fresh eyes.

Asking “What’s going on here?” is a good place to start. With this first moment of attentiveness, we can at once go further and ask: “What am I doing here? Why do I want to spend a whole week in silence?” Good questions. Why indeed do I want to sit in silence and meditate with everyone else here? What thoughts go through my mind when I ask these questions? Can you see for yourself what is going on within? What thoughts are going through your mind in this very moment? Are there images, desires? Are we seeking to attain something? Maybe we’re trying to get rid of something. Maybe we’re looking for peace and quiet because there’s been a lot of stress and unrest in our life of late. And then we picture how we will quiet down here in retreat and how soon we’ll be feeling better. We remember times in our lives when things were happier and more harmonious and we’d like to go back to those times.

Is it not astonishing how we are always taken up with expectations, desires and imaginings, whether we are here for the first time or for the tenth time? We always imagine what it will be like, and then almost always realize afterwards that it was different from what we had thought.

What does this work consist of? Can we start afresh? Can we look at all these ideas and images that flow through the mind with fresh eyes? Do we answer the questions that come up right away? Do we judge? “Yeah, it’s going to work. . . no, this will never work . . . “. Is it possible to listen to all the inner turmoil as for the first time and start anew, in the moment, in the Here and Now? Everyone can do this, at least for a moment.

What are we doing here? What’s so special about a week of silence? The most important thing for me is the space and the free time. You can be with others and be alone, at one and the same time. You aren’t alone in the sense of being lonely. Feeling lonely is something else again: you long for company. But here in retreat you’re with others and at the same time you’re on your own. Free of distractions, we can linger in the moment and see for ourselves what is taking place. Everything we have brought about in organizing the retreat – the silence, being with others but without speaking, a quiet room of one’s own, plenty of space, and we can go for walks out in nature, good food we don’t have to prepare – all these things come together to create a free and open space that invites us to become more aware of what happens in the moment. We have the time and the space in which to do this.

Do we like all this free time and space? There’s nothing stopping you from asking. We can also choose to become closed in ourselves and narrow our outlook. You can look at this for yourself: Do you feel free? Are we respecting other people’s space? We’re not a group of individuals who have come together in retreat just to be alone; rather, we are a community. All of us either create a quiet open friendly space where we can all come together, or we can all get on one another’s nerves in spite of the silence and go about shutting the door in someone’s face and not paying attention as we go about our day. Can we see, from moment to moment, how we behave towards others? Is there really a shared, common attentiveness here in the retreat? This is something you can become aware of.

There is no need to feel cut off from others just because we don’t say things like “Hi! - Good morning! - See you later!” to one another. We are all here together, and we can experience a warm sense of community that is even stronger than our everyday togetherness, with its little ritual greetings and courtesies. See for yourself if you can experience this simple, quiet and attentive way of being with others. Look to see if this is happening and if you can bring something to it.

If you have a roommate, can you feel the presence of the person you’re sharing a room with? Are you aware of what your roommate likes and doesn’t like? Do you leave the light on when there is no need, and dig about in plastic bags, unaware of how noisy that can be? Or are we just being present with those around us? You’re resting, or your roommate is resting, and you both move about quietly. It’s just a matter of being attentive and aware when you’re around others. We don’t make eye contact or smile as we pass one another. Still, we’re all here together. Can we feel that it is OK to be around others without making eye contact? Try it and see how it goes. See for yourself if you feel it is being impolite not to make eye contact with others. What thoughts go through your mind? When someone keeps their eyes down, maybe we think they’re depressed or just out of it. These are just images we have of others that most of the time have nothing to do with how they really are. Can we not say hello with the eyes as we pass someone and nonetheless feel that we are all here together? Can we give one another the space? This is a fine and free way of being together. When people come together in a group, this way of behaving is exactly what makes it possible for one to look inward without distractions and, in a spirit of inquiry, ask what is taking place from one moment to the next.

This is what we are doing here in retreat. You don’t have to withdraw into your own private space. We just set aside our usual ways of reacting to others, our usual ways of behaving; that’s all. We are simply here together; there are no requirements. Can we accept this attitude and even come to enjoy this way of relating to others? When we’re lost in thought, the stillness and calm don’t come about because we’re so taken up by all the turmoil within. Here in retreat, we can just be aware of the inner turmoil, with no one to prevent us from observing what is going on within. No one is making any demands on you. We are free to inquire whether what is going on within is pleasant or unpleasant.

People often ask me if I can recommend a practice that can help to quiet down the mind and stop the endless flow of thought. We are each free to look within, to see what is taking place in the moment; but I don’t consider this a practice. It’s wonderful when there is a moment of stillness and silence, but it is not the purpose of meditation to make it happen. It isn’t a matter of pursuing a goal, but rather of realizing that we are pursuing a goal. We have to see the importance of stillness and quieting down, without getting stuck in trying to get there. Indeed, observing our own striving, in order to better understand what is going on, is an essential part of this way of meditating. Often, we are not even aware that we are trying to get somewhere, that we are trying to reach a goal.

Since having goals is the very opposite of being attentive, I don’t set goals for people, nor do I recommend meditative practices or exercises that can be used to reach a goal. Neither a special way of following the breath nor exercises in concentration are on the menu, which does not at all mean that I reject such practices out of hand. I know from personal experience how very useful such practices can be in helping one to be more focused; and sometimes, out of that a state of open awareness might unfold. If any of you have used these techniques in meditation and have found that they work well, you can use them here in this retreat; and if you want to share your experiences with others or if you have any questions, please bring them up with me or in group dialogue. “Practice” is a key term in the work of meditation.