Simple Serenity E-Book

Nancy Oelklaus

• Herausgeber: Loving Healing Press
• Kategorie: Ratgeber
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 177

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2022

Beschreibung

Teilhard de Chardin wrote: "Someday, after mastering the winds, the waves, the tides and gravity, we shall harness for God the energies of love, and then, for a second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire." I believe we are there, and I want to be part of spreading the energy of love, which is a daily decision. Let the parables and exercises in Simple Serenity guide you to embrace love and joy. Readers will learn to:

• Focus on what's really important, with the ability to "tune out" the noise.
• Commit to the patience, kindness, and forgiveness that love requires.
• Embrace peace in all things as a way of life.
• Allow joy to come into your heart.

"Everything within it is the wisdom of the ages, and everything within it has been demonstrated as effective through research on positive psychology. I don't know if a stronger endorsement is possible."
--Bob Rich, author of From Depression to Contentment
"Sometimes it takes a sage guide to lead us through the distracting cacophony of our daily lives: Nancy's book of meditative insights takes us where we need to go to stay the course of life on life's terms."
--William Moyers, author of A New Day, A New Life
"I believe that Nancy is calling us to live our life for the HIGHEST GOOD. Sit in the stillness and consider Simple Serenity for your life every single day."
--Sarah Payne Naylor, author of Crossing Rough Waters
"Simple Serenity, a soft light of hope and inspiration, is to be read and re-read. Oelklaus is more than a teacher. She is a wise friend and a comfort. A treasure."
--Helen Delaney, author of The Messenger

Leseprobe

Simple Serenity: Finding Joy in Your Life

Copyright © 2022 by Nancy Oelklaus. All Rights Reserved

Learn more at www.NancyOelklaus.com

ISBN 978-1-61599-663-6 paperback

ISBN 978-1-61599-664-3 hardcover

ISBN 978-1-61599-665-0 eBook

Loving Healing Press

5145 Pontiac Trail

Ann Arbor, MI 48105

www.LHPress.com

Tollfree 888-761-6268

[email protected]

FAX [phone]

Distributed by Ingram (USA/CAN/AU), Bertram’s Books (UK/EU), New Leaf Distributing (USA).

Audiobook edition available from Audible.com and iTunes

Dedication

In Thornton Wilder's play, Our Town, the character Emily, from her afterlife, says, "Oh, Earth, you're too wonderful for anybody to realize you. Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it—every, every minute?”

This morning as I journal, a gentle snow is falling. Looking out at the white beauty, my whole being fills with amazed gratitude. In this moment, I am realizing life while I live it.

This book is for those who want to join me and for my sister Carolyn in her afterlife.

Contents

Foreword

Welcoming Serenity

Getting to Healing

Chapter 1 - Moving from Here to There

Chapter 2 - Live in Gratitude

Chapter 3 - Understanding: Gateway to Acceptance

Chapter 4 - Be Joyful

Chapter 5 - Truth Simply Stands

Chapter 6 - Reconciliation

Chapter 7 - Love is Quiet

Chapter 8 - Be Still

Chapter 9 - Light Has Come into the World

Chapter 10 - Silent Striated Sentinel

Appendix

Author’s Note

About the Author

About the Cover

About the Artist

Bibliography

Index

Foreword

Once in a lifetime, if you are very lucky, you may meet a special person who seems to have been put in your path to magnify the moments that make you feel alive. These individuals elevate the ordinary and sanctify the mundane with the lightest touch, and a bemusing smile. Somehow, you are gently invited to open up your heart to recollections of your own that have been long forgotten, shut away from the light in the recesses of dismissal, minimization, and forgetfulness. Such a person is the author of Simple Serenity, my dear friend, Nancy Oelklaus.

In this beautiful book, Nancy shows generosity of spirit as she shares with us perspectives she has allowed to develop within herself over years of living courageously, sweetly, and boldly. From the Dedication onward, Nancy extends to us a personal invitation not only to retrace the magical moments of discovery along her life journey, but also to reconsider our own unique pathways and their lessons for us. For Nancy, prose becomes poetry, and the reader is entrusted with reading between the lines.

Jan Ford Mustin, Ph.D., Psychologist

Peak Performance Institute,               

A Professional Corporation                

Welcoming Serenity

I was third in line at the grocery checkout. The woman in the middle was complaining, to no one in particular, about Sedona. “I hate this place,” she said. “I can’t wait to get out of here, and I’m moving tomorrow.”

The woman first in line turned around with a bit of a smile. “In Sedona, we say that the energy we bring into this place gets amplified.”

But many people coming to Sedona expect a miracle and are disappointed that one doesn’t materialize.

My husband Harlan and I moved to Sedona, Arizona, in June of 2005, after a month-long vacation the January before. We simply fell in love with the Village of Oak Creek, and before we left to go back home to Austin, Texas, we had bought a house.

In 1991 I began a personal journey that I wrote about in Journey from Head to Heart: Living and Working Authentically, sharing the specific tools and processes I used, as well as my transformative experiences. I had worked diligently to shift out of negative, self-defeating thinking into a way of being that fused religion, spirituality and science. I was a truly happy person, with a very strong support system. The only question I had about the move we were anticipating was the loss of that support system.

Of course, I didn’t lose it. Those people and ways of being did not leave me. They moved with me, and I began to open even wider to the majesty of the red rocks, the blue sky and the white clouds—to appreciate the desert and all of its creatures.

Today, Harlan and I often hike Red Rock Pathway, near Bell Rock, which is said to be one of the strongest vortexes in Sedona. One day we came upon a woman stopped on the trail, leaning against the rocks, with the palms of her hands lifted to the sky. As we neared, we could hear her wail, “I can’t feel it,” expecting us to tell her how to find the vortex energy.

The secret of Sedona is that you bring your energy into it, and the vortexes all around amplify it.

The Sedona vortex expert I most trust is Pete Sanders. His weekly presentations share keys that help seekers maximize their meditations and experiences of the energy of the vortexes. His book, Scientific Vortex Information, enlightens about how to engage with vortex energy.

Sanders writes, “To maximize your experience in the vortexes you need to have an attitude of allowing, while you explore, focus and guide your awareness, rather than forcing...You have to allow it to come to you” (p. 34)

In this spirit, I offer the meditations in this book. May you allow their energy to come to you.

In making this offering, I don’t mean to imply that I never have a bad day or a negative thought. I have simply learned that, no matter where I am, I have a choice. Each of my reflections is followed by an opportunity for the reader to write or draw a response. In a sense, you are a co-author of this book. You’ll get out of it what you put into it.

This book is to be savored, not devoured. What’s written here won’t change your life—unless you participate, absorb and respond to the words from your heart. Then, get ready to live the life you truly want.

Getting to Healing

On Valentine’s Day 2022 I saw a piece in the Washington Post by Brittany Long Olsen. She posed the question “How do you wish you had been loved as a kid?” She suggested that couples answer this question together and agree to give what was missing in the past to their partner today.

I thought this was a great question, so I posed it to my daughter. She thought for a long while and then said, “I worked through all of that, and I no longer feel that something was missing.”

In other words, she had been through the process of awareness, acceptance, and forgiveness, and she is free from resentment for the mistakes and oversights of her father and me while she was growing up.

Don’t just read this book. Process it by writing, drawing, painting, making a collage or vision board, sculpting, working with clay. As you, in your own way, work through the prompts for processing the passages, may you experience whatever healing or forgiveness is there for you.

Chapter 1 - Moving from Here to There

When we traveled, my husband Harlan and I would often play “let’s pretend” while he was playing golf and I was driving the cart. One of us would ask, “I wonder what it would be like to live here?” Then we would imagine ourselves living in that place as he finished eighteen holes. At the end of his play, one of us would say, “Nah. I think we’ll just stay where we are.”

Where we were at that time is Austin, Texas, a fast-growing, technology-rich center. We loved Austin for so many reasons, chief of which was our home on the rim of a canyon on the eastern edge of the Texas Hill Country.

Our favorite vacation spot was Sedona. After we had visited there for about five years, we decided to stay for a whole month in a condo in the Village of Oak Creek, which is about five miles south of Sedona. One day as we were driving along, he started our game—except this time his words were different. He said, “I think I could live here.”

I replied, “I’ve been thinking the same thing.”

The next day we were on the golf course. I was the driver. When we got to the fifth fairway, I looked to my right and saw a “for sale” sign. I drove over to pick up one of the flyers. Long story short, today we live in that house. Our decision wasn’t a straight path. There was another house that Harlan thought was “a deal,” so he gave a low offer, which was rejected when another offer for the asking price was made. But that’s another story.

The main point is that we decided to move from Austin, Texas to the Village of Oak Creek, AZ. From a population of around a million to around 6,000. Big change.

Yet, not a change at all. While I lived in Austin, I made a decision to live from my heart, to focus on myself and not the behavior of others, and to live with intention. Conscious living, you might call it.

Conscious living is a state of being, not a place. But because geographical move is a major stressor for most people, I’ll start with that transition.

1-1: From Chaos to Peace

Our decision to sell our house in Austin and move to Sedona has thrown my surroundings into a jumble, as, daily, workers swarm in to prepare the house to sell. Furniture that belongs in this room has been moved to that room for staging purposes. Boxes of framed family photos and other familiar items from shelves are packed and stored. I won’t see them again for months. Furnishings are clustered in the center of rooms.

Turmoil is the best way to describe what’s going on with me, and I’m laughing at myself as I realize the one who teaches others to find their calm center and live from there is having difficulty practicing what she teaches. Instead, the reverse has happened. My inner peace has been disturbed by my jumbled surroundings.

To make it through, in addition to morning meditation, I’ve increased my conscious awareness. Do I need a drink of water? How about a walk? A short nap? Reading just for enjoyment?

As I pull into myself and meet my own needs, the external disarray becomes less significant, and I begin to find peace again.

Last night I simply shampooed my hair and as I awoke this morning, I felt simple pleasure in the awareness of clean hair.

Exercise 1-1: When chaos surrounds you, what do you do?

1-2: Equanimity at the Car Wash

I strive for equanimity, the ability to stay even-keeled, regardless of what’s happening. To be kind, even when others around you are exploding. To be calm and clear-headed, even in the face of danger. To be true to myself when it might be tempting to conform.

I’ve made some progress towards equanimity, but yesterday I lost it. When Harlan and I returned home from a month away, a remodeling project that should have been finished had taken over our home. Realizing I couldn’t sleep in my own bed and had nowhere to hang my clothes, I lost equanimity. First, I exploded at my innocent husband and then at the unsuspecting contractor.

The next day I drove my construction-dust-covered car through a quick car wash. I guided the car to the conveyor track and, as instructed, put it in neutral, took my hands off the wheel, and my foot off the brake.

Then I put my head back and closed my eyes. I heard the water pelting the car, but I was dry. I heard the softer sound of soap. Then the brushes went to work. Water again. Finally, a long blast of drying air as my car completed its gentle movement through the process.

The cleaning had happened around me as I simply sat at rest, protected, eyes closed.

I realized I lose equanimity when I am displeased. But when I enclose myself within a safe space, put my gear in neutral, take my hands off the wheel and my foot off the brake, peace rules.

Exercise 1-2: What steals you from equanimity? What keeps you in it?

1-3: Leaving

As I look out toward the canyon in the gray morning mist, I know it’s time to leave.

The oak tree that was just a sapling when we moved here has grown so tall that slowly and inexorably, it has taken the center of the canyon view. In winter, when the leaves are gone, the view emerges through the bare branches. Now that it’s spring again, green leaves prevail.

I chose this house for that view. I liked its other qualities, as well, but it was the view I most loved.

Over the years, we terraced and planted the part of the canyon slope that is ours. With the plantings, we pulled nature closer until now, we are immersed in its exquisite beauty.

It feels complete and whole. Gently and lovingly, I give thanks and release.

Exercise 1-3: What in your life feels complete and whole? For what are you giving thanks and releasing?

1-4: Done Too Soon

What are the words that describe my feelings as I prepare to leave Austin, where I’ve lived for 25 years? Here I started two new careers. Here Harlan and I met and married. Here I’ve loved living as I’ve worked with many people to find emotional and spiritual health.

One of those people emailed me last week, expressing her feelings about my leaving. Her words evoked sadness, and what immediately came to my mind were the lyrics from Neil Diamond, “And wept when it was all done, for being done too soon.” I shed some tears, but it didn’t feel right to grieve. There hadn’t been a death.

Then I ran across these words from Rabindranath Tagore: “When old words die out on the tongue, new melodies break forth from the heart; and where the old tracks are lost, new country is revealed with its wonders.”

Our move is more arrival than departure, and my true feeling is deep gratitude for the relationships and opportunities that Austin has so generously given, mixed with joyful anticipation of what the future holds in Sedona.

Exercise 1-4: Exercise: Right now, with whatever is going on, how do you feel?

1-5: Disappointment

By intention and design, I live a happy, peaceful life. Not having expectations and enjoying life one moment at a time is how I try to live.

But yesterday I was living the sentiment expressed in these lines from Emily Dickinson: “A great hope fell. You heard no noise. The ruin was within.”

Harlan and I made an offer on a house that had been on the market for almost a year—a house with some issues due to its age, but redeemed by a fabulous, panoramic view. We went for it. Unfortunately, on the same day, someone else submitted a higher bid, and of course the owner accepted it. A great hope fell. I went silent. So did Harlan. Finally, I was able to say, “I’m sad.”

Previously I would have brushed my feelings aside, said, “Oh, well,” and pushed ahead, refusing to feel. But today I have come to understand that it’s better for me to feel the feeling and move through it. Perhaps the truest statement I made was to our realtor. I said, “We’re heartbroken. Give us some time and we’ll try again.”

Today is a new day, and I’m grateful for the experience Harlan and I had together as we went through the process of making the offer. I choose to believe there’s another house for us that will meet all of our needs, one where we can live happily. And that’s the most important thing.

P.S. We’ve been in the home we actually bought for about 7 years. The view is just as fabulous, and the house is much better suited for our lifestyle. The house we lost the bid on now has its view obstructed by tall trees planted by a new homeowner on the block.

Exercise 1-5: How do you handle disappointment?

1-6: Solution for Overwhelm

In the state of overwhelm is where I’ve been. We are moving from a house we’ve lived in for nineteen years, so we’re weeding and packing while finishing a remodel and preparing the house for sale.

In the last two weeks we have worked with a realtor, contractor, paint consultant, and stager, each of which gave us a long list of tasks to do. I was relieved when I realized we had heard from everyone we needed to hear from.

The state of overwhelm is confusion and chaos. In it, I feel rudderless. I can’t stay there for long.

So yesterday Harlan and I got a stack of index cards and wrote only one task to be completed on each card. We also wrote who is responsible for completing that task. Then we arranged the cards in the best sequence. Working together, we actually moved two cards to the “completed” stack.

Today I have a plan and a system for doing everything that needs to be done. The work has moved from contemplation to action. Our house will still be in chaos for the next two or three weeks, but I am at peace.

Exercise 1-6: What do you do when you’re overwhelmed?

1-7: Lesson from a Ceiling Fan

When it comes to cleaning, I love telling other people what I want and then going for a pedicure while they do it.

With so much to do to get our house ready to sell, I’ve found myself with a dust cloth in my hand. I even sponge-mopped the deck with a cleaner that brings out the gold highlights in the wood. I love seeing that dry, dusty wood quench its thirst and glow.

But the ceiling fan on the deck—that’s a different story. I pretend I don’t see the dust, even though I know it’s there. I asked the cleaning lady to clean it, which she happily agreed to do. Then she forgot. By the time I remembered to check it, she was gone.

For two days I did nothing. Then our realtor scheduled someone to see the house. All I could think about was that dirty ceiling fan.

Early in the morning on the day of the showing, I climbed onto the stepladder to reach the dreaded fan. To my surprise, the dirt lifted easily. In a very few minutes, I had a clean ceiling fan.

More importantly, I had faced a dread and completed a simple task. For the rest of the day, I had a sense of accomplishment. Then I went for a manicure.

Exercise 1-7: What are you dreading?

1-8: Just Gratitude

My grandmother gave birth to my dad, her eighth child, in a dugout with a dirt floor. Once I said to her, “Living like that must have been terribly difficult,” as I tried to coax her story of a hardscrabble existence. She responded, “Oh, no. It wasn’t hard at all. We had the most wonderful neighbors.” Then she turned the story to acts of kindness she had experienced from those who lived nearby.

Grandmother always had an innate grateful, peaceful state of mind.

I, on the other hand, have to work at it. For many years my emotions were shut down, as I stressfully plowed my way through degrees and career advances. As I began to change, the first feelings that poured out were grief and anger.

Then I learned to express gratitude.

As I sit here in a half-empty house, making final preparation for our move to Sedona, I could slip into sadness or overwhelm. In fact, when that happened a few days ago, I called a friend to express my feelings. She asked, “What are you grateful for?” As I focused on what I’m grateful for, my gloom lifted until there was no darkness at all.

Exercise 1-8: What are you grateful for?

1-9: Lightly

All my framed awards have gone to recycle.

Walls are bare.

Even my old published articles went with them.

Shelves that held my past are empty.

Today I stand on the rim of tomorrow,

Seeing only glimpses of what the future holds.

Wherever the road leads, I’ll walk it lightly.

Exercise 1-9: How lightly are you walking?

1-10: Rhythm

I knew the rhythm of my life in Austin so well. Easily, I floated in the familiar circles and cycles. When Harlan and I decided to move to Sedona, that rhythm changed. The mere decision shifted everything as the well-known patterns dissipated.

My calendar was blank. I had no cleaners or grocery store or hair stylist or dentist or doctor. I didn’t know anyone. There was just me, flowing into the unexperienced.

Flowing has a rhythm all its own. Quiet silence. White space. My new rhythm.

Exercise 1-10: What is your rhythm today?

1-11: End of the Lists

For months I had lived from lists comprised of the tasks required for remodeling, selling, and buying a house. Then, of course, there were the tasks required for moving.

When I came to the end of the lists, my spirits sagged. I felt sad and useless.

My instinct when I’m feeling low is to stick my chin out and pretend that I’m okay. I tried that approach for a short time.