So What E-Book

Joyraj Sarma

• Herausgeber: Pencil
• Kategorie: Sachliteratur, Reportagen, Biografien
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2021

Beschreibung

About the Book: “When society fails you, it’s up to you to take the fight back to them”-Joyraj

This was my very concept when I started this project So What? In March 2020 and I can’t believe that it took me almost a year to complete this project. The idea just came to me in during I was in this lockdown period in the wake of the covid-19 outbreak and when I left everything behind from the music scene to blogging, was literally left with no work and money and with literally the same boring routine and same old drama. My concept behind So What? Was simple, in our society people says this one common word a lot, “So What?” And this time I was like shut up and don’t say “So What?” No more, hence the symbol of me shushing to the people as a metaphor.

About the Author: Hie, I am Joyraj, an aspiring writer, musician, content creator and YouTuber with a vivid form of ideas and informative facts. So What? was my year long effort since I was a mere boy of 26 years old and has a saga of my life experiences and my viewpoint about the negatavities that are being served on a plate by the society. Apart from that the book also has my humble tribute to some of the people that meant a lot to me and some things that we lost in our lives and do not value anymore and has some collection of poems I wrote back then and some retrospective pieces and within this period I literally grew up with the project and today I am 30 years old man.
The thing is that society only has a kin interest in reading about the brighter side of the world but I wanted to change that I wanted the people to see the ugly side of the world and so I came up with So What?

Leseprobe

SO WHAT

BYJOYRAJ SARMA

ISBN 978-93-5438-403-5

© Joyraj Sarma 2020

Published in India 2020 by Pencil

A brand of

One Point Six Technologies Pvt. Ltd.

123, Building J2, Shram Seva Premises,

Wadala Truck Terminal, Wadala (E)

Mumbai 400037, Maharashtra, INDIA

E [email protected]

W www.thepencilapp.com

All rights reserved worldwide

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise), without the prior written permission of the Publisher. Any person who commits an unauthorized act in relation to this publication can be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.

DISCLAIMER: The opinions expressed in this book are those of the authors and do not purport to reflect the views of the Publisher.

AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY

Hie, I am Joyraj, an aspiring writer, musician, content creator and YouTuber with a vivid form of ideas and informative facts. SO WHAT? was my year long effort since I was a mere boy of 26 years old and has a saga of my life experiences and my viewpoint about the negatavities that are being served on a plate by the society. Apart from that the book also has my humble tribute to some of the people that meant a lot to me and some things that we lost in our lives and do not value anymore and has some collection of poems I wrote back then and some retrospective pieces and within this period I literally grew up with the project and today I am 30 years old man.

The thing is that society only has a kin interest in reading about the brighter side of the world but I wanted to change that I wanted the people to see the ugly side of the world and so I came up with SO WHAT?

CONTENTS

Preface

Acknowledgements

Personal Stories

CTRL+ALT+DEL

They call me a Nerd!

I want to be a kid again

Dream Destination

Tale of an anarchist-atheist

Anti-heroic fixation

Your hate is my motivation

Retrospects

When people become too toxic to handle

Because it is too easy to judge someone

Money cannot buy happiness

Dating a writer-Best decision or a terrible mistake

When a creator goes through substantial criris

Why Lord Of The Flies is still relevant for me

Love during Covid-19 outbreak

Forgetting gratitude while living with too much regression

We need more games like Spec Ops-The Line and Medal of Honor

Metal-The most misunderstood kind of music

Idiosyncracy

How youths reacted to the society during this pandamic

Nostalgia

2000s-The golden era of the Assamese film industry

Music of Assam-Rise, fall and the modern day rivival

We need a folk music revival

When music was pure

From vinyl to streaming-A beautiful Journey

Revisiting Hip Hop

Tributes

Why Bollywood will never get another actor like Irrfan Khan

Remembering the king of Pop

21 years of Hybrid Theory

Not dead yet-Dedicated to Alexi Laiho

Poems

So What

Under the barrel of a gun

Mahakal-The Destroyer

Homeless Man

Frostbite

Cry of the Earth

Disconnected

Bleeding

Aftermaths

Afterlife

Broken wings and broken dreams

Ode to my mother

Social Messages

The Greater Curse

Are we slowly becoming a Rape-Nation

If only the act was real

A bigger Virus than Covid-19 in India is racism

Are we not just boycotting a way too much

The ugly side of modern day feminism

Porn industry is more than what meets the eye

Depression and modern society

Reality of rehab centers in India

Social-media has just become a competition

Preface

DISCLAIMER

“WHEN SOCIETY FAILS YOU, IT’S UP TO YOU TO TAKE THE FIGTH BACK TO THEM”-JOYRAJ

This was my very concept when I started this project SO WHAT? In March 2020 and I can’t believe that it took me almost a year to complete this project. The idea just came to me during I was in this lockdown period in the wake of the COVID-19 outbreak and when I left everything behind from the music scene to blogging, was left with no work and money and with literally the same boring routine and same old drama.

My concept behind SO WHAT? Was simple, in our society people says this one common word a lot, “So what?” and this time I was like SHUT UP AND DON’T SAY “SO WHAT?” NO MORE, hence the symbol of me shushing the people as a metaphor. Another metaphor that I used in the cover of the project was the Sigil of Baphomet, though it was more like a shock value and nothing satanic about it, it also represents my ideal belief in individualism and individual liberty of every citizen in a decent society that has been enslaved within his or her own country by either debt or other circumstances and how we are all bound by shackles and deserve to be free, as per the sole rule of Social anarchism and LaVeyan Satanism practiced by the author of The Satanic Bible and the founder of the Church of Satan, Mr. Anton LaVey.

However, people must not misunderstand my agenda to be to promote propaganda about social anarchism, atheism, or LaVeyan ideologies and that I am a Satanist. It’s not like that, my agenda is to send a message here and LaVeyan ideologies are more inclined with the atheist ideologies.

Also, I do not intend to harm anyone’s religious, political, social, personal, or emotional feelings or sentiments through this project and if anyone gets offended by a little of my harsh words then I will just say that be more open-minded and try to read this project more like a fiction.

Regards

Joyraj Sarma

Acknowledgements

FROM CREATOR’S DESK

Thank you for being with me throughout this dark yet beautiful journey, I said dark yet beautiful since I am a strange man who kinds of find beauty even in chaos. This project has been my life’s work and all the deeper emotions and frustrations regarding many things since my late 20’s and merely started this when I was still a 29 years old guy with a Novocain mindset, but within this process itself I left my 20’s behind and right now I am in my 30’s with more maturity and wisdom. I kind of grew with this very project throughout this one year of commitment, hard work, dedication and effort into this very book. But when I started out I just started out randomly and had no idea where this would actually go and still have no freaking clue where this road will take me. Some said it won’t work, some said it was a waste of time, some said it was pointless and I can’t change the society, some said writing is not really a proper job, Yes too many naysayers. But had a goal ahead to follow and I had a statement to be made and I believed that I can make a change, if not full-fledged I could do was to make an attempt and try. Before changing myself I had to change my own self and that was the most tough job and writing some random chapter which to a few naysayers appeared like a full on rant.

But truth be told we live in such a society where making a statement and voicing an opinion with a few amount of angst and frustration is even considered as a rant, because, “India mai kya cheeso mai logic dhundna?” meaning why try finding logic in things in India? such is the notion here man. And that very notion gave me even more motivation to continue on this road even further more.

I didn’t start penning down this project for money, power, fame or stardom overnight. I had to speak for myself and this is what I did. Because like I already said, “When society fails you, it’s up to you to take the fight back to them.”

So once again thank you for being into this fight with me this far and sorry for those who felt like being unnecessarily bothered, got bored or got offended or felt like there was no literal “masala”, cringe or entertainment on this one.

CTRL+ALT+DEL

KICKING______LOT______OF______THINGS______OUT______OF______LIFE

Hey everyone it’s me again. Like I was saying since 2020 is ending I thought I had to get some clarity in my life, some closure. For 10 freaking years, I dealt with anxiety, depression, stress, panic attack, insomnia, over sexuality, porn addiction, smoking, drinking, caffeine addiction, overeating, stress eating, and what not also suffered from FOMO. But things have changed since I took a drastic step to take a hold of my life. However, let me tell you it wasn’t easy for a lazy ass like me who would sleep at 5 in the morning and wake up at 12 in the noon, miss breakfast, have a messed up meal spend his time playing video games for 4 hours and just being a jerk. But things turned into horror when my health issues both physical and mental started to take their toll on my life and I started to lose myself.

I lost my job and music career for being well, Fat as Frack, I got mocked at and laughed at, cried, screamed, and hurt myself. But I saw a ray of hope when I met someone who would try his best to change my life. I won’t name him though.

First things first, How I cured my Fomo? Been doing a lot of research on how to cure it on the internet and shits but found nothing to my concerns, then many friends told me to stay offline and unplug. I would try I won’t lie to deactivate my account then re-activate it again just so I don’t miss out. But slowly I tried to cut off since I realized that Facebook is now nothing more than a news channel and meme board of idiots and Instagram have become a porn site, and so that was it, that when I pulled the plug and learned to socialize in real life than in a freaking virtual BS of a world.

Second, on the list was to kick out toxic people in life, I know that I made myself always available for some asswipe that didn’t deserve my attention and got fudged in the process. But well enough was enough had to say them frack off though I was cold on my part, that’s it sometimes you have to become stone cold if you get used and abused repeatedly and some punks who are only being friends with you for money.

Third, in the list was to stop watching porn and jerking off, worst thing that could happen to a man is to obtain porn addiction and a habit of jerking off to the point where you suffer migraine, fatigues, low stamina and draining energy and also it messes your brain. Then I found something called NO FAP THERAPY on YouTube which involves how long you can avoid porn and masturbation. I tried and I don’t regret the decision.

But the worst was yet to be dealt with and that was my smoking addiction, craving for sodas, and killing off my freaking anxiety and insomnia. This is when I realized that mental health won’t be cured without physical health and so I ended up joining an intense workout session. Now I am not saying that “YAY I JOINED GYM, #FITNESSGOAL, BLAH BLAH BLAH” like some posers does on Instagram. Told you all I am no more a social media’s pawn. I do this for mental peace, it makes me feel positive and alive.

NOTE:-NOT BODY SHAMMING ANYONE HERE.

Now I can say that I don’t need a freaking cigarette to get creative and think, I don’t need to pop pills to cure anxiety attacks, panic attacks, depressive fits, and Rage? Well, I still get angry but thankfully like before it doesn’t turn to Rage.

All I can say finally is that now I feel like I am aligned with my inner self and finally found some part of peace I was looking for. Thank you for reading these random thoughts.

They call me a Nerd!

Haha, It’s funny that I am writing this little piece but it is so hilarious that how society sees us be introvert nerd that confines themselves into their geekiness 24/7. Yes, they are like, “You read too much you must be a nerd”, “you binge-watch a series? Nerd”, “oh you are a gamer? Nerd”, “oh you collect comics and action figures? Nerd?” but why it makes us happy why we flaunt our geekiness or nerdiness so much and is proud of it? Maybe because some things for us was never a phase. We are not one of those who will watch a damn Superman movie to jump on the bandwagon, we do it with prior research from comic books or different media and can detect the difference if a movie is comic book accurate or not.

The same could go for my love for games or my taste in music, I never grew out of that phase when I was spamming the X and triangle button on my joystick or banging my head to freaking Metallica. Yes, I am a nerd and I am proud of being one. But being a nerd and being an introvert has a vast difference because a nerd is more expressive and we want to convey our opinion in public, which is why he has his platform, maybe a social blog or a separate page on Facebook or Instagram dedicated to his subject of interest.

If he is interested in traveling, he will be posting about his travel stuff all day long, if a girl is a food lover, her insta page will be full of foods. That’s the thing, while an introvert is more reserved and doesn’t like to express.

People need to stop being in a mistaken state to confusing a nerd with an introvert or calling anyone with a reading glass a “nerd”, tell you what we were glasses because we find it classy and boosts up our personality.

So why do we choose to be different and weird you ask? Because the thing that we are well, “nerdy” or “geeky” has been a part of our life since childhood and we like sharing and expressing our views about it.

For example, I like games and music and I like to talk about them because that has been part of my life.

One more thing I do not like is that our nerdiness is often associated with laziness, but we ain’t lazy, we are just working our minds to put in our next theory or thesis or a retrospect even though we are not working any physical chore. It’s not that we get tired or annoyed or irritated, but we are already working mentally which people don’t see.

No, we ain’t afraid to get a job and slog our butts for 9 hours but the thing is that it takes our passion out of us and throws it in a trash can and we can’t enjoy the things we enjoyed doing, now I am not trying to justify, since it’s important to have a job and a fixed income as a security, but satisfaction is much more important than earning a hefty amount of money and only chasing for money, I know it’s complicated to understand for you all, but this is how I see things. I want to earn on my terms which is why I chose to be a blogger and a writer and yeah I enjoy being a “nerd”, as they say.

So, if that is not satisfying anyone then I am sorry to say that that’s how it is. I can’t sacrifice my passion for a job dear society, “Mujhe Maaf Karo!”

I want to be a kid again

Lately, I just realized that I am getting older as my 20’s are almost over and I am 30 now, and with that now shall come the tension of responsibilities, hopefully, marriage and fatherhood, whoa! Lagta hai, Kuch jyada hee door ka soch Liya (Guess I am thinking way too far). Rules of nature holms, you take birth, do a lot of shits, grow older, and die! Huh, sounds boring, doesn’t it?

Anyways, like I was saying, when I was a kid all I thought when would I grow up and enjoy all thing that adult enjoys and as I grew up I just found out how overrated and dull growing up looks like if you can’t enjoy the things you enjoyed as a kid, because well, society has a notion that a grown-up boy can’t play with toys and action figures, read comics, play video games, watch cartoons and re-live his childhood nostalgia and his life is meant to be confined within paper works, clients, office, laptop, tablets, cars, own house, servant, wife, and kids. And slowly and rapidly he starts to lose interest in all those things that he might have enjoyed even in his high school or college years. Such a thing is what I am going through right now as slowly I am losing interest in lots of things.

No matter how much I party and get drunk, I can never find the happiness of those glory days with these grown-up people whose bickering and banter over politics and shits go bouncer over my head.

Perhaps I have lost old interest but I found some new ones but then again I miss the old times like hell. I still have the memories of my first neighborhood engraved in my mind and I dream about it. I dream about my old homies and those games in the playground. I miss the school competitions and lots of things and I wish I could turn back time again.

But I can’t complain, growing up is a part of human evolution and we cannot evade it, there is no freaking magic pill to stay forever young accept maybe those freaking cosmetic surgeries and botox jobs that I don’t want to waste my money on.

But hey, I might have grown up within all these years and in ten years span I might have learned and experienced and a lot of things. I was broken and taking a dirt nap but now I am taking a hold of my life and getting health conscious, stopped drinking and smoking, and partying like it was never a night, maybe this is the reason why I want a rewind button and go back to the way the days were and undo the mistakes I made. I am still a kid on the inside and for me, age is just a number and this is why I still love to do a lot of gaming, watch a damn kid’s cartoon with my cousin, collect toys and kinds of stuff, and gets laughed at for it. But I ain’t ashamed neither I am afraid that I am getting older because 30 is the new 20 and I shall own it. Because I don’t know what the future holds for me, maybe 10 years later I will be 40 and with it might come