Space of Love E-Book

Gayle Nobel

• Herausgeber: WS
• Kategorie: Ratgeber
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 120

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2018

Beschreibung

Space of Love will dramatically change your life for the good in so many ways.  Gayle Nobel, mother of an autistic son, shares her unique insights in beautiful prose and poetry for anyone seeking to discover and release their own natural resilience as she explores the amazing power of thought and wisdom.  She lovingly provides the reader with a burst of inspiration, self-empowerment and a brand new perspective on life. Readers may shed a few tears, smile, and walk away with a totally new awareness of the human experience.

Leseprobe

UNDERSTANDING THE POWER OF THOUGHTAND WISDOM IN LIVING WITH AUTISM

GAYLE NOBEL

Copyrighted Material

Space of Love: Understanding the Power of Thought and Wisdom in Living with Autism

Copyright © 2018 by Nite Owl Books. All Rights Reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted, in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise—without prior written permission from the publisher, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review.

For information about this title or to order other books and/or electronic media, contact the publisher:

Nite Owl Books

11801 N. Tatum Blvd, Suite 143, Phoenix, AZ 85028

www.niteowlbooks.com

[email protected]

Library of Congress Control Number: 2018940821

ISBN: 978-0-9839702-8-6 (Trade Paperback)

              978-0-9839702-9-3 (E-Book)

              978-0-9998351-0-4 (E-Book)

              978-0-9998351-1-1 (E-Book)

Printed in the United States of America

Cover design: Christy Moeller, ATG Productions

Interior design: 1106 Design

Praise for

SPACE OF LOVE

Space of Love brings a powerful message of hope to those living with autism. However, the message reaches far beyond that to anyone who, in the face of unexpected adversity and an uncertain future, has longed for a practical and profound path to living in the Space of Love more than they had dreamt possible.

Gayle Nobel has written with gritty honesty, humility and wisdom about the bumps and potholes she has traversed, often more than once, on her journey. Believe me, you will not regret traveling with her and sharing the sights and insights she shares with you along the way.

—William F. Pettit Jr., MD, psychiatrist and student and sharer of the Three Principles since 1983

Gayle Nobel allows us to enter the complex world of parenting an individual with autism on many exacting levels. Near the beginning she writes, “Resistance is the source of my stress, our stress as humans.” That was enough for me to realize I had to learn more from this most wise woman.

This is a guide to the mindful parenting of exceptional individuals, with respect, insight and pure delight! Rainer Maria Rilke’s work comes to mind. “Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings, infinite distances continue, a wonderful living side by side can grow, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole against the sky.”

Gayle does exactly this for herself, for her family and for her son and now for us all. Her journey is all our journeys.

—Raun Melmed, MD, Co-founder and medical director, Southwest Autism Research and Resource Center, director, Melmed Center, and author of Autism and the Extended Family: A Guide for Those Who Know and Love Someone with Autism

I found Space of Love incredibly human, practical, wise, and extremely helpful for parents of children with autism. These personal stories of challenges that face any parent, especially the unique needs of autistic people, will guide parents toward trusting more deeply in their own inner source of wisdom and insight. The simplicity of “not knowing” and creating a space within for insight to fill the vacuum created, will be a relief to all who read and embrace Gayle’s generous sharing of her life’s journey.

—Joseph Bailey, licensed psychologist and author of Slowing Down to the Speed of Life, The Serenity Principle, and many others.

Space of Love by Gayle Nobel is an uplifting book for parents of children who are challenged by autism or other developmental issues. Sprinkled with ponderings and poetry about the parenting such a life requires, this book offers amazing insights. Sharing her positive mindset in a beautiful format, the author guides the reader to transform the weight of worries and runaway thoughts into affirmatives for a more joyful life. The author’s inner wisdom resonates throughout the book, inspiring hope and nourishing the soul. This is a wonderful companion to her previous book, Breathe.

—Connie Hammer, MSW, PCI Certified Parent Coach®, family consultant and author of Autism Parenting: Practical Strategies for a Positive School Experience–Over 300 tips to help parents enhance their child’s school success

Space of Love is a beautifully written book about our ability to live from a place that is deeper than intellect and logic: a space of love, where all is well and wisdom guides our actions. Through her touching stories and poetry, Gayle points us toward that space that is there at all times, even in the most challenging and uncertain of circumstances. I most highly recommend this book for anyone.

—Amy Johnson, PhD, author of The Little Book of Big Change: The No-Willpower Approach to Breaking Any Habit

Space of Love, Gayle Nobel’s latest book, reflects the culmination of periscoped tension begun with her previous books, It’s All About Attitude and Breathe. It is impossible to classify her work as poetry, prose or philosophy when one reads such beautifully crafted language such as “… the projector on the screen of our consciousness creating the movie called life.” Gayle Nobel takes us on her journey and we, in turn, find our own vigorously enriched.

—Rachelle K. Sheely, PhD, president, RDI (Relationship Development Intervention)

Space of Love invites the reader to go beyond the spectrum of autism and into the wisdom that lies within all. Though the stories are related to autism, the principles that underlie it pertain to all.

—David Westerman, mental and performance coach

What a treasure! As in her other books, Gayle is able to share from her very heart and soul. Her courage in taking us on her journey through life with Kyle has no limits. One of my favorite questions from the book is, “What if you decide not to decide?” That’s just one of the many tools that have become a regular part of my life through Gayle’s insight and wisdom. This book is truly a gift.

—Tammy Kenyon, special education teacher

This beautiful and profoundly moving book is a gift to the world. Simple, honest and heartfelt truth on every page. I love the poems as well as the prose. It will be enormously helpful to anybody–not just parents, and not just parents of kids with autism. Highly recommended!

—Kimberley Hare, author of The Heart of Thriving: Musings on the Human Experience

Space of Love is a simple and heartfelt read. It leads the reader to reflect deeply about the benefits of acceptance, trust, and living in the moment. You finish this book feeling a natural calm and a newfound confidence that life will be well, loving and living with autism. A beautiful and inspirational read.

—Kimberly Isaac-Emery, MSc, autism specialist and family consultant

We often cannot see our own forests through the trees. Gayle reminds us to not only “breathe” but give ourselves a break. When our child was young, I wrote that “autism entered my life without permission and stole my peace.” Now he is a man, and I realize that my peace has taken a different complexion. Sometimes peaceful, sometimes very sad, this is my reality. I have learned to brush myself off and count my blessings. He is our guiding force. When he soars, I fly. Resilience is the operative word. My first blog was coined resilientmom. I think I grew into the moniker, and I know Gayle gets this more than most.

—Robin Hausman, mom of son with autism

No one knows a child as well as a mother, and no one understands the demands on the mother of an autistic child like this mother, Gayle Nobel. Her dedication to her son Kyle has been marked by intelligence, creativity, and devotion. Her personal journey has taught her much. This book is her intent to share her achieved knowledge with mothers like her. Her suggestions are practical and caring. I recommend Space of Love to every parent of a child with autism.

—Drake D. Duane, MS, MD, Director, Institute for Developmental Behavioral Neurology/Biological Psychiatry, former associate professor of neurology, Mayo Medical School Rochester, Minnesota, and clinical professor of neurology, University of Arizona College of Medicine, Phoenix

To Neil, my husband, best friend, and love

CONTENTS

Foreword

Introduction

What If

Arrived

Resistance

Lemonade

Decisions

Space of Love

Grit and Grace

Resilience

I Don’t Know

What If It’s Not a Choice

Thought Paint

Change

Hello Life

It’s Raining

Bubbles

Slow-Motion Moments

Discomfort

Knowing

Hello, Wisdom

Ability

Feeling It

Home

Control: It’s An Illusion

The Tea Shop

Back to Normal

Will It Happen to Me?

The Letter

Amazing Design

Additional Reading

Acknowledgments

About the Author

FOREWORD

THE OTHER DAY, Gayle and I were texting back and forth about our sons and the current things that are going on with them. I asked her, teasing, “When is that manual coming out for us?” (You know, the one with all the answers to the questions that we’ve wondered about throughout all these years.)

Gayle wrote back, “Yeah, not sure. I think God is self-publishing, so it might be a while.”

Smiling, I thought how easy it would be to have all the answers written out, and all I would have to do is open the book to that question and see the answer in front of me. Especially when it comes to the questions about my son and autism.

Gayle and I have been friends for almost thirty years, sharing our journey (mostly long distance) with our sons, who have autism. So often faced with challenges–many people would have just thrown in the towel. Gayle has never wavered in her devotion, passion and love for her son and her family.

Gayle opens her heart and soul, sharing her journey in three books. She offers sage advice, techniques and tools, with a keen insight, transcribed through poetry, essays and storytelling. Don’t look now, but I think she has a direct line to the One who offers those answers.

This book is the latest in what I hope to see many more of in the future in her quest to write the ‘answers’ she receives from the Universe.

—Kathy Almeida, coauthor, It’s All About Attitude:Loving and Living Well with Autism, and author, Sunny’sStory, Sunny’s Story 2, And Then There was Rain

INTRODUCTION

The Birth ofSpace of Love

AFEW YEARS AFTER I wrote my second book, Breathe, published in 2010, I quietly decided it would be the last book. It looked to me like I had shared all I knew about living well with autism.

My message was that your attitude determines your experience. You can take an experience like parenting a child with autism and make it nicer, even easier, by putting a rose-colored lens on your camera. It is indeed possible to live a good, albeit challenging, life.

I encouraged readers to find the good and appreciate it. To do this, it’s helpful to slow down and mindfully take one step at a time. Rather than trying to figure out how to balance it all, I suggested looking toward harmony. I emphasized making time for siblings and spouses and, most importantly, making time to take care of yourself, even in five-minute snippets.

This is a marathon, not a sprint, so taking care of oneself is essential for the health and well-being of the parent and caregiver, as well as the child. Rather than merely surviving, taking care of oneself looked like the key to thriving.

I offered a toolbox of tips and techniques from which to sample: things that seemed to help me on my personal journey. If one didn’t resonate or work out, there was another one waiting on the next page.

I stepped out and spoke to parents, caregivers, and educators. As someone who lives it and gets it, I became an ear for moms. I offered a virtual hand or a virtual hug and, when possible, a real one. I sold books and even put my message on shirts. It’s All About Attitude. Breathe.

Then one day, rather suddenly, it looked like it was time for me to move on to something new. I decided to step away from the autism world as well as the book business.

I set my sights on the question, “What’s next for me?” For a while, all I heard was the sound of silence. I really didn’t know. So I waited and kept my mind open while continuing my day-to-day care and life management of my son with autism, Kyle. With my daughters, Rachel and Leah, launched and living on their own, there was an empty space for a new passion.

After several months of exploring, I noticed a few breadcrumbs, followed them, and found myself signing up for a life coach training program. Hadn’t I been doing something like that all along? It felt like a natural next step.

Fast forward past graduating from the International Coach Academy and starting a coaching business, only to discover something called “transformative” coaching. This was brand new to me and not previously on my radar.

I found myself walking off in a new direction, eventually leading to an online course called Living From the Inside Out. A few weeks in, during a conversation with the instructor, a coach, I had a tremendous personal insight about my relationship with Kyle.

As a result, I felt a new lightness and clarity. I experienced a deeper connection to my inner wisdom, as well as a new sense of freedom. Some of my internal suffering and struggle melted. All of this occurred during one conversation and it felt effortless. I wanted to know more.

A few months and many breadcrumbs later, I signed up for a transformative coach training program called Supercoach Academy, led by transformative coach Michael Neill. This program was based on the enlightenment experience teachings of Sydney Banks called the Three Principles. My understanding of the human experience was about to sail off in a new direction.

During my practice coaching hours, I connected with and coached some moms of kids with autism. My people. How about that? I had circled back home.

I discovered I now had something different to offer parents and caregivers. I was in new territory, well beyond what I shared in my first two books. As I continued to see where our experience of life really comes from, I was able to point others in that direction, too. As my own illusions began to dissolve, I saw new possibilities. In a very natural way, what I saw for myself spilled over into my conversations with clients.

My heart connection to those living with or working with people with autism or other special needs is my inspiration for Space of Love. The message in my stories extends to family, friends and anyone wanting to understand the experience of living with autism on a deeper level.