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- Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
- Kategorie: Fachliteratur
- Sprache: Englisch
Build your communication confidence and master the ability to inspire your audience In Speak with Confidence: Overcome Self-Doubt, Communicate Clearly, and Inspire Your Audience, keynote speaker, author, and executive communication coach Mike Acker delivers a practical and hands-on playbook to building the confidence you need to nail your next presentation, speech, virtual talk, or social media post. In this proven pathway to becoming a capable and confident speaker, you'll discover how to combine your identity, message, and skills into one persuasive package. The author explains how to uncover your identity, define your message, and develop your skills and techniques to become a master communicator. From overcoming imposter syndrome to eliminating a victim mentality, you'll explore concrete methods for improving your presence and ability to take command of a room. You'll also find: * The elements of a confident message, including a personal investment in the topic you're discussing * Strategies for overcoming limiting beliefs that hold you back and artificially reduce your ability to lead * Ways to understand your audience and learn to hone in on the place where your purpose intersects with your audience's needs An essential new strategy guide for anyone seeking to improve their ability to speak to a group, Speak with Confidence is the public speaking blueprint you've been waiting for.
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Seitenzahl: 297
Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2022
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Table of Contents
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Read First
Introduction
Chapter 1: The Big Three
The Sources of Confidence
Heart, Head, and Hand
Proven Paths to (False) Confidence
Part I: DETERMINE YOUR IDENTITY
Chapter 2: You Are the Message
Setting the Foundation
To Thine Own Self Be True
Personhood or Persona?
Chapter 3: Determine and Discover
Strengths Disguised as Weaknesses
It's All about Personality
You Aren't Perfect
Improve or Accept?
Confidence in Weakness
Chapter 4: Your Anchors: Values and Mission
Your First Anchor: Values
Your Second Anchor: Mission
Live by Design, Not Default
Identity Sway
Deeper than Shoes
Note
Chapter 5: Navigating the Obstacles, Part I
1. Imposter Syndrome
2. Victim Mentality
3. Limiting Beliefs
Notes
Chapter 6: Navigating the Obstacles, Part II
1. Your Verbal and Mental Tracks
2. Comparison and Competition
3. Rejection
Part II: DEFINE THE MESSAGE
Chapter 7: The Elements of a Confident Message
Chapter 8: The What: Your Content
Something to Say
Find the Purpose
Clarify Your Point
Be the Authority
Chapter 9: The Who: Your Audience
The Audience Isn't There for You
Running Recon
Points of Connection
Talking to Individuals, Not a Crowd
What Do They Really, Really Want?
Chapter 10: The Power of Systems
Chapter 11: Standard Speech System
Getting Started
Notes
Chapter 12: Spontaneous Speech System
1. The Spelling Bee System
2. The Sniper System
3. The “Once Upon a Time” System
4. The Three Bucket System
5. The Sticky Note System
Practice Systems, Not Spontaneity
Chapter 13: Rambling‐Reduction Systems
Types of Rambling
Rambling Reductions
Note
Part III: DEVELOP NEW SKILLS
Chapter 14: Increase Skills, Increase Confidence
Humility and Confidence
Awareness and Practice
Lifetime Learner
Notes
Chapter 15: The Power of Pauses
Pauses Are Magical
Chapter 16: Voice and Clarity
Can I Change My Voice?
What Did You Say?
Clarity Killers
An Extra Articulation and Enunciation Exercise
Chapter 17: Vocal Variety
The Vocal Variety Grid
Moving Around the Grid
The Z Factor
Avoid Uptalk
Chapter 18: Nonverbals
Three Principles of Nonverbal Communication
1. Facial Expressions
2. Hand Gestures
3. Posture and Body Movement
Direct, Not Distract
Notes
Conclusion
1. Your Knowledge
2. Your Starting Point
3. Your Commitment
Note
About The Author
Index
End User License Agreement
Guide
Cover Page
Title Page
Copyright
Read First
Introduction
Table of Contents
Begin Reading
Conclusion
About The Author
Index
Wiley End User License Agreement
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SPEAK WITH CONFIDENCE
Overcome Self‐Doubt, Communicate Clearly, and Inspire Your Audience
MIKE ACKER
Copyright © 2023 by Mike Acker. All rights reserved.
Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey.
Published simultaneously in Canada.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per‐copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, Inc., 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, (978) 750‐8400, fax (978) 750‐4470, or on the web at www.copyright.com. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, (201) 748‐6011, fax (201) 748‐6008, or online at http://www.wiley.com/go/permission.
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Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional where appropriate. Further, readers should be aware that websites listed in this work may have changed or disappeared between when this work was written and when it is read. Neither the publisher nor authors shall be liable for any loss of profit or any other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages.
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Library of Congress Cataloging‐in‐Publication Data:
Names: Acker, Mike, author.
Title: Speak with confidence : overcome self‐doubt, communicate clearly, and inspire your audience / Mike Acker.
Description: Hoboken, New Jersey : John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 2022. | Includes index.
Identifiers: LCCN 2022032870 (print) | LCCN 2022032871 (ebook) | ISBN 9781394159741 (cloth) | ISBN 9781394159765 (ePub) | ISBN 9781394159772 (ePDF)
Subjects: LCSH: Public speaking. | Public speaking—Psychological aspects.
Classification: LCC PN4129.15 .A28 2023 (print) | LCC PN4129.15 (ebook) | DDC 808.5/1—dc23/eng/20220715
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2022032870
LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2022032871
Cover Design: Paul McCarthy
Read First
Thank you for investing in my book.
As an appreciation, I'd love to give you a free gift.
The “3 & 3” Video Course
This course covers the “3 Classics” that are the basis of effective public speaking and the “3 Questions” that will help you write better speeches.
It's the foundation of my coaching and has helped hundreds of people gain clarity and direction in creating their speech.
Visit this link or use the QR code for your free gift: https://content.mikeacker.com
Introduction
The Framework for Confidence
I just bought my first sailboat …
For $1,000, and I quickly realized it was going to be the most expensive $1,000 I'd ever spent. This realization led me to sell the boat one month after my acquisition. Having never owned a boat before, I learned a lot in that month about remodeling, sailing techniques, and the many names of ropes. I also learned that boats are a great analogy for confidence.
Imagine a three‐masted schooner braving high winds and floating chunks of ice to bring life‐saving medicine to a town on the far side of Lake Superior. Or Norwegian explorer Thor Heyerdahl and his crew sailing across the Pacific in an unpowered handmade raft to demonstrate that the Polynesian Islands could have been populated by South Americans. Or a crew of crabbers returning from frigid Alaskan waters, loaded down with their precious cargo. Or a state of the art, carbon fiber trimaran tacking back and forth against the wind, an expert crew sailing her at seemingly impossible speeds in hopes of the America's Cup.
Or a canoe piloted by a drunken thrill‐seeker heading toward Niagara Falls.
To many people, the idea of public speaking is as frightening as heading over Niagara in a canoe. But I want you to imagine a world without inspiring speeches such as Martin Luther King, Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” or Patrick Henry's “Give Me Liberty or Give Me Death.” For as long as humans have been talking, there have been those brave enough to risk rejection and speak out to lead and influence others.
In my top‐rated book Speak with No Fear, I say that public speaking is a “universal advantage”—a skill that gives you a leg up in nearly any profession or situation. That book's popularity demonstrated how many people face paralyzing fear at the thought of giving a speech or presentation. To follow the boating analogy, that book was written for those who suffered from aquaphobia, with the goal of getting them off the dock and into the boat—without throwing up.
My assumption is that you come to this book with at least a little speaking experience and don't suffer from debilitating fear. Otherwise, I'd encourage you to put this book on pause and read Speak with No Fear first. Fear is a very powerful emotion and can literally hijack your ability to learn, but that book teaches you how to convert paralyzing fear into power.
Bonus: Download the Speak with No Fear Action Checklist for free at https://swnf2.mikeacker.com
This book is the next step. I don't want to just get you into the boat; I want to teach you to confidently sail to your desired destination. The goal isn't merely surviving but thriving.
The single greatest requirement for great speaking is … confidence. Not a deep, authoritative voice or TED Talk–worthy material. Confidence. I have a friend who went to Honduras on a mission trip with only one year of Spanish—from a teacher who didn't really speak it—while some of his teammates had taken three or more years. But he ended up speaking more Spanish than any of them. Why? Because he had the confidence to try, fail, and try again.
The single greatest skill required for great speaking is confidence.
Said another way, it doesn't matter how nice your boat is; it's useless if you don't have the confidence to push away from the dock.
Think about what “confidence” means. It comes from the Latin, fidere, “to trust” and con, an intensifying prefix. So, confidence means a full and complete trust, belief in the ability or trustworthiness of a person or thing. Belief in oneself.
But simply believing in yourself doesn't mean anything. Countless cringe‐worthy performers on American Idol and America's Got Talent believed in themselves. The drunken thrill‐seeker in the canoe has confidence. Confidence must be grounded in reality. It is only as good as the abilities behind it.
Confidence is only as good as the abilities behind it.
Confidence is also a two‐way street. Not only must you have faith in yourself and your abilities, but your audience must also have faith in you or else they won't listen. You literally have seconds from the time you reach the lectern or get introduced in a Zoom meeting to when they decide whether or not they'll trust you with their time and attention.
That is to say, this book isn't a “just believe in yourself” collection of inspirational quotes. It is a proven pathway to becoming a capable and confident speaker who makes an impact.
This book is a proven pathway to becoming a capable and confident speaker that makes an impact.
I've spent over two decades developing this pathway, studying communication from every angle, speaking to crowds of every size, and coaching speakers of every background: a UFC heavyweight champion, politicians, CEOs of multibillion‐dollar companies, but also to students, engineers, ESL speakers, and professionals at all levels. People just like you. What I'm saying is I've seen this framework work.
This is my sixth book about communication, but it was supposed to be my first. When I started writing it, I thought, Not yet, Mike. You have more to learn and process. I knew it was too important a topic to rush. Now, I'm ready, and I'm excited about everything I have to teach.
Confidence on stage follows you off stage.
I went to a fairly small private university with a debate team that held its own against far more prominent schools. Year after year, Professor Gary Gillespie led Northwest University to win at national and international tournaments. In Speak with No Fear, I talk about how Gillespie first talked me into joining the team in spite of my self‐doubt and then believed in me until I learned to believe in myself.
Gillespie taught us more than debate tricks. Using Aristotle's famous three elements of persuasion—ethos, pathos, and logos—he taught us that communication was bigger than technique and the words we used. It flowed from who we are as people.
I said earlier that confidence is the single most important skill required for great speaking. Let me add to that a little. Confidence is one of the greatest skills for life. When you learn to communicate with confidence, it bleeds over into every area. Because my framework is holistic—addressing the entire person and not just the exterior skills—your confidence on stage will follow you off stage.
Bonus: Download a quick Confidence Cheatsheet for free at https://cheatsheet.mikeacker.com
For many people, their three biggest concerns are their health, wealth, and relationships. Confidence has a positive impact on all three.
Health
: Excessive stress is one of the greatest threats to well‐being. Not only will confidence lower your “pre‐speech jitters”—the sleepless nights, anxiety, and racing heart—but will also help you face your off‐stage stresses with calm.
Wealth
: As I said, confident public speaking skills will increase your value to your organization, no matter your profession. And as your confidence bleeds into the rest of your professional life, you will interview better, sell better, and lead better. I've had several clients get promoted midway through our work together or find the courage to apply for positions that they previously dismissed as “out of their league.”
Relationship
: Health and wealth mean nothing if you are relationally miserable—if you're lonely and too timid to invite a colleague to have lunch or ask someone out on a date or if you're too scared to deal with an issue that is slowly driving you and your spouse apart. My book
Connect Through Emotional Intelligence
deals with this at a deeper level, but confidence is key to healthy relationships. (Conversely, improving your emotional intelligence will help your confidence become well grounded—I think every “
American Idol
fail” could have been avoided with a higher E.I.)
Confidence is a key to healthy relationships.
So, are you ready to begin your journey to speaking—and living—with confidence? You will learn these things like:
Systems for nailing off‐the‐cuff speeches.
Combating “imposter syndrome.”
Finding your greatness and how to stop comparing yourself to others.
Adding interest to your verbal delivery.
I'm not promising an easy path. This will take work. You have to be willing to do more and push harder than others. But it will be worth it. I am confident that the payoff will far exceed your investment.
Don't let insecurities hijack another speech or ruin another opportunity. Gain the confidence that will transform your life.
Chapter 1The Big Three
My coaching career started as a side hustle. Ever since college, I'd been working with professionals to improve their leadership and communication. My role as an executive director of a nonprofit involved training my team, and I take pride in how many of them have gone on to new heights. My personal mission was and, still is, to help people realize their potential.
In my thirties, I had a career change and was finding success in consultative sales. I enjoyed my work but missed the mentoring aspect and kept finding chances to work with leaders and speakers on the side. I didn't initially think of it as a side hustle. It was more of a paid hobby.
Then I got my first big deal coaching opportunity. The CEO of a nationally known marketing firm learned about me from a referral and reached out, but she wanted more than feedback and informal coaching. She was looking for an A‐to‐Z program. So, I consolidated everything I'd learned and taught into a comprehensive system. Reaching back to my time with Professor Gillespie, I started by walking her through Aristotle's elements of persuasion.
1. Ethos
Speakers need to convince the listener of their credibility (ethos is the root of ethical). The audience needs to feel like they can trust, learn from, and connect to you. You must build rapport through relevant stories, the words you use, the way you conform to the context of the event, and your connection to your message. When the audience trusts and connects with the speaker, they listen with greater receptivity.
When the audience trusts and connects with the speaker, they listen with greater receptivity.
2. Pathos
This means to evoke emotions. Your message must affect you before it can possibly affect your audience. Then you must intentionally use stories, evocative analogies, and emotional tone to convey the meaning behind the message. True communication is more than the mere transference of knowledge. When you feel your message, your audience will feel it with you.
When you feel your message, your audience will feel it with you.
3. Logos
Logos encompasses organization and thought and creating understanding. It is the logic of the message. You must utilize various tools to persuade the audience: case studies, facts, citations, research, statistics, and recognized authorities. These types of proofs make your material more persuasive and help you win the audience over. You must have something worth saying and do the work of framing it in a way that appeals to the head.
I went on to tell this CEO that effective communication requires all three. Too many speakers fail to establish a connection through ethos or engage feelings through pathos, relying on logos alone. But your audience is not comprised of soulless androids. They are emotional beings and rely on intuition as much as intellect. If you want to impact your listeners, you must use all three elements of persuasion.
We are emotional beings and rely on intuition as much as intellect.
After I'd gone through all this with the CEO, her response forced me to reevaluate my brand‐new coaching curriculum.
“Mike, that's good stuff, but it's useless to me. I'm too nervous to even get up on stage, let alone think about elements of persuasion.”
Useless? Shoot. Now what?
I had to peel back all my memories, back to when I was a frightened seventh grader in Mexico who gave himself a psychosomatic fever to avoid speaking in front of the class and to remember how I evolved to become a confident speaker. Over nearly twenty years of experience and education, I had intuitively developed my own three “sources of confidence.” Once I systematized those, I was able to help that CEO. This formed the foundation for my programs, communication workshops, and now this book.
This proved so effective that I began receiving more and more referrals. Even as I kept the sales job, my “hobby” became a registered business, and I had to hire staff. I was coaching, speaking, and giving workshops; something had to give, and I made the leap of faith into full‐time coaching, speaking, and writing—and I'm loving it!
The Sources of Confidence
I want you to think back to the last time you heard a speech that moved you. Maybe it was a politician that made you believe in a better future. Maybe it was a motivational speaker that inspired you to push yourself further. Or maybe it was a coworker who made you think, I wish I could speak like that!
Speakers like that are marked by genuine confidence. Not hold‐my‐beer‐and‐watch‐this confidence, but confidence that holds the speaker steady and inspires the audience. Confidence like that isn't a single thing but a combination of your identity, your message, and your skills.
True confidence is found where these three circles meet—when you have determined your identity, defined your message, and developed your skills. In this chapter, I will walk you through the 10,000‐foot view of each and what happens when any one of them is lacking. From there, I'll devote a section to mastering each component.
1. Determine Your Identity
I began this book by asking you to imagine a schooner, a handmade raft, and other boats. Your identity—the collection of your strengths and weaknesses, experiences, personality, and deep‐seated values—is like one of those boats. Each one is different and is meant for different kinds of tasks. At the same time, boats can be modified within certain limits. Confidence comes from knowing your boat, what it is capable of, what kind of shape it is in, and where you can improve it.
I'll frequently have prospective clients ask, “Mike, can you teach me some new techniques and skills, so I can feel more confident?”
My response? “Yes, but let's start with laying the foundation before jumping to the finishing touches.”
I'm not doing them any good by showing how to run up the mainsail if their boat is taking on water by the gallon. Before we address your message or add new skills, you need to do the deep work of determining who you are.
Notice that I said determine your identity, not discover. There is a discovery element to it, but it doesn't stop there. One of my favorite sayings is “Where you are isn't where you have to stay.” There are parts of your identity that you need to accept, but there are others you can improve.
Where you are isn't where you have to stay.
In the first section of this book, I will walk you through understanding and determining your identity. By the time you finish that section, you will have a clear idea of who you are as a speaker, how the message flows from you, and which parts of yourself you need to embrace, accept, or improve.
2. Define Your Message
The movie Dunkirk tells the real‐life story of the mass evacuation of British forces out of France at the beginning of World War II. With German forces speeding toward Dunkirk, the call went out across England for all available boats to sail the Channel and save as many soldiers as possible. The response was overwhelming as everything from luxury yachts to barely‐more‐than‐lifeboats braved the German Luftwaffe and made the dangerous trip. Countless professional and amateur sailors risked their lives because they understood that their “cargo” was precious.
If you and your identity are the boat, your message is the cargo. Would you risk your life and reputation to deliver a boatload of plastic trinkets? Probably not. But to save your fellow citizens from the Nazi war machine? I'd like to think I would've sailed my $1,000 boat to Dunkirk for that.
What if your “cargo” feels like plastic trinkets? Many of my clients struggle because they're bored by their topic—routine updates, IT protocols, sales trends and graphs, key performance indicators (KPIs), and returns on investment (ROIs). But part of confidence in your message comes from connecting to its deeper meaning and purpose. If it's worth saying, then it's worth caring about. Every business is ultimately about people, and people are worth our emotional investment. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
If it's worth saying, then it's worth caring about.
In the second section, we'll begin by digging into your message and what it means to your audience. Then I'll teach you how to efficiently craft and effectively deliver it. This will cover not only prepared speeches but also off‐the‐cuff presentations and meetings. By the time you finish that section, you'll gain the confidence to speak in any situation.
3. Develop Skills
Have you ever watched someone who excel in their craft? It almost doesn't matter what they're doing—glassblowing, playing guitar, bartending, handling a sailboat—there is an artistry to how their hands seem to move of their own accord. I recently listened to leadership expert John Maxwell speak. That man's been speaking longer than I've been alive. He employed all the skills and techniques that I teach but so seamlessly that I didn't even notice. I just knew I was in the hands of a master.
If your identity is the boat and your message the cargo, then your skills are your speaking skills. Pretty straightforward there. In the third section, we'll cover a host of tricks and techniques that are so practical that you might be tempted to skip ahead. Don't do it. I intentionally placed skills last because they are built upon the foundation of identity and message. By the time you finish that section, you will have a box full of tools that you know how to use.
Heart, Head, and Hand
Identity, message, and skills—all three are vital. Another way I like to describe it is:
Identity is your heart—
who
is saying it.
Message is your head—
what
is being said.
Skills are your hands—
how
it is being said.
Confident speaking—speaking that flows from your confidence and makes an impact on the listener—requires all three components working in conjunction.
What happens if one is missing?
If someone has identity and message but lack the skills, they are boring. You can probably name a few seasoned professors who really knew their stuff but put you to sleep. For the Harry Potter fans out there, this is Professor Binns, teacher of History of Magic, who could make the goblin rebellion boring.
If someone has identity and skills but lacks a message, they are simply entertainers. People enjoy listening to them but leave unchanged. There's nothing wrong with that if your goal is entertainment, but I believe you want more for your audience. You want them to think, feel, or do something new because of you. These speakers are like Professor Trelawney, the divination teacher. She put on quite a show for her believers, but there's no meaning behind almost any of her predictions (and I don't think she gets any credit for her two real prophecies).
Finally, if someone has a message and skills but no identity, they (at best) have no depth. At worst, they are hypocrites. They look great on stage, but it falls apart when you get up close. These are like Gilderoy Lockhart. Big talk, lots of style, but it's all fake. Let's be honest: These are the most dangerous of the three. Many of us grew up listening to Bill Cosby, laughing at his jokes and wishing our dads were as wise and cool as Cliff Huxtable. When the reality of his character came out, we were left stunned and heartbroken.
At this moment, who do you feel the most like: Binns, Trelawney, or Lockhart? Or do you feel any of those would be a step up for you because you lack identity, message, and skills?
Then you are in the right place.
Over the rest of this book, I'll apply this framework to your speaking, so you can be like—who else?—Albus Dumbledore. Confidence and influence flows from speakers who have identity, message, and skills.
Confidence and influence flows from speakers who have identity, message, and skills.
Proven Paths to (False) Confidence
Before we get started, it's vital to understand that confidence is not an absence of fear. In proper doses, fear is a tonic. Every speech should stir up some level of nervousness within you—it does me! In Speak with No Fear, I spend an entire chapter on channeling those nerves into energy and emotion (i.e. pathos).
No one enjoys fear, but attempting to eliminate it altogether will take you down one of the two proven paths to falseconfidence. Those paths are arrogance and apathy. Either of them will ensure feelings of confidence but at the cost of effectiveness and connection.
Arrogance says, “I don't need this book. My audience is lucky to have me.” It takes over when we impress ourselves—perhaps because we're subconsciously afraid we don't measure up.
Apathy says, “It's not worth the effort to read this book. My audience is going to show up anyway because they have to.” It creeps in when we no longer care and are too lazy to change.
Arrogant speakers are often seen among politicians, rising stars, and even in churches. Apathetic speakers fill long‐time management positions, academia, and sectors that don't require them to prioritize quality in communication.
The fact you've read this far tells me that neither apathy nor arrogance have taken over—yet. But they are constant temptations to every speaker (and leader). In Chapter 3, we’ll talk more about them, and how they're common reactions to personal shortcomings.
Apathy and arrogance are constant temptations to every speaker.
All this is to say that as you go on this journey toward confidence, be on the lookout for creeping arrogance (“I don't need this!”) and apathy (“Who really cares?”). Pay particular attention to when they try to creep in. Don't be surprised if it's when I touch a nerve. As we'll see in the next section, true confidence goes far deeper than your ability to give a presentation, and we'll end up touching on things like self‐worth, emotional intelligence, and your personal values.
Will it be hard work? Absolutely. But the payoff will extend far beyond a single speech.
Part IDETERMINE YOUR IDENTITY
Chapter 2You Are the Message
You are the message.
If all your company needed was information, then they could cancel the presentation and play the slide deck. If all they needed was statistics, an email would be sufficient. You, in your own personhood, bring an irreplaceable element to the presentation.
You are the message.
For example, I've been speaking professionally for almost twenty years and have taken more classes than you can imagine, and have read more books than you can count. Am I perfect? By no means. But I do know what I'm talking about. When I speak about speaking, it comes from inside of me. It is part of who I am. Contrast that with a politician reading a speech that someone else wrote, about an issue he doesn't understand, to people he has no connection with.
When you are asked to give a presentation, relay a report, or speak to your team, it means they need you—not your slideshow or handouts. When I first started writing, I was reluctant to share all my insights for fear of undercutting my coaching business, but I discovered that people are more likely to hire me if I “give away” everything. They understand that the message I have in me is bigger than what's on the page and that's worth paying for.
They need you—not your slideshow or handouts.
Going back to Aristotle, PowerPoint obviously cannot provide the ethos and pathos. And it can't provide all the logos either. This is something you know about. These ideas are something you have a vested interest in. Your speech carries part of you. If anyone else were to give the same presentation, it would not be the same.
So, you are the message. You are the boat that carries the cargo. Without you, the real message won't ever arrive at its destination. For that reason, your identity is foundational to confidence.
Setting the Foundation
If you've read any of my other books, then you may already know a little about my story. My mother was a witch (literally), and my father was a drug smuggler, which is how he learned to speak Spanish and fly (literally and figuratively). Before I was born, they began to turn their lives around, and then several years later when I was ten, they founded an NGO in Mazatlán, Mexico.
Moving to Mexico as a scrawny white kid and living there until college is part of who I am. I understand different cultures more easily than most, am fluent in Spanish, and know what it feels like to be an outsider. My parents' love for Mazatlán is also part of who I am. As an adult, I've led many groups there to build houses for those in need. The first part of the process was always to pour the foundation and wait four days for it to set.
It drove me crazy. Come on! I'd think. Let's get going. I was in a hurry to get to the real work of putting up walls and running wire. (We'll get back to that impatience in just a moment.) But experienced builders understand that without a strong foundation, everything else is a waste. One hard rain (and it could really rain in Mazatlán) and all would be lost.
