Success 2020 E-Book

Kantamneni Radhakrishnamurthy

• Herausgeber: V&S Publishers
• Kategorie: Ratgeber
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2018

Seitenzahl: 321

Beschreibung

Success mantra to achieve your goal

Leseprobe

Published by:

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© Copyright:ISBN 978-93-505745-2-2

DISCLAIMER

While every attempt has been made to provide accurate and timely information in this book, neither the author nor the publisher assumes any responsibility for errors, unintended omissions or commissions detected therein. The author and publisher make no representation or warranty with respect to the comprehensiveness or completeness of the contents provided.

All matters included have been simplified under professional guidance for general information only without any warranty for applicability on an individual. Any mention of an organization or a website in the book by way of citation or as a source of additional information doesn't imply the endorsement of the content either by the author or the publisher. It is possible that websites cited may have changed or removed between the time of editing and publishing the book.

Results from using the expert opinion in this book will be totally dependent on individual circumstances and factors beyond the control of the author and the publisher.

It makes sense to elicit advice from well informed sources before implementing the ideas given in the book. The reader assumes full responsibility for the consequences arising out from reading this book. For proper guidance, it is advisable to read the book under the watchful eyes of parents/guardian. The purchaser of this book assumes all responsibility for the use of given materials and information. The copyright of the entire content of this book rests with the author/publisher. Any infringement / transmission of the cover design, text or illustrations, in any form, by any means, by any entity will invite legal action and be responsible for consequences thereon.

Publisher’s Note

V& S Publishers has successfully published a number of good books on Personality Development and Self-Help, such as Winners’ Podium, The Success of Failure, How To Become A Successful Speaker & Presenter, Explore Your Potential and many more. In line with all these best-sellers, it is a great pleasure to inform all our esteemed readers that we have again come up with another novel and exclusive self-development book called the Success 2020.

In this book, the author has stressed upon the fact that there is no shortcut to Success. This means that we have to put in a lot of hard work, and for this, we must groom and transform our character, behaviour, attitude, and in fact, our entire personality in such a way that we attain and achieve what we aim for in our lives. This is what Success is in a nutshell, and this is the crux of the book or the central idea behind publishing the book.

Besides the above characteristics, the book also emphasises and explains the significance of Self-Love, Self- Confidence, Will-Power and building up of Self-Esteem in a person which are the key factors that enable us to achieve success and fulfil our dreams. There is no one-point formula for success. It has to be attained through constant endeavour, diligence, sincerity, patience, perseverance, etc.

Therefore, this book is a must read not only for the school and college students aspiring high in their lives, but for all those professionals and executives in various national and international firms or organisations who wish to achieve their goals or targets in their respective fields of work. The book also discusses elaborately the various methods and ways as well as the different qualities that a person has to imbibe and inculcate in him /her in order to become a truly successful person or an achiever!

So friends, go ahead and read the book thoroughly. If you can grasp the essence of the contents and try to follow them in your day to day life, success will definitely accompany you at every step.

CONTENTS

Section-I

Character Management

1. Character - An Investment to Success

2. Maturity

3. Self-Love

4. Self-Esteem

5. How to Improve Self-Esteem

6. Self-Confidence

7. Self-Confidence Quiz

8. Self-Confidence Tips

9. Be Positive!

10. Be Away from Negative Feelings

11. Will-Power

12. Self-discipline

13. Be Cool

14. Optimism

15. Get Ready for the Success

Section - II

Conduct Management

16. First Impression is the Best Impression

17. Improve Your Image

18. Appearance & Dressing

19. Social Skills

20. Win with your Words!

21. Don’t Be Nervous

22. Make Your Style Different!

Section - III

Success Management

23. Goal Setting

24. Motivation

25. Decision Making

26. Self-Destruction Qualities

27. Failures Teach Lessons

28. How to Earn Money?

29. Is There Anything Called Fortune?

30. Life is a Masterpiece!

SECTION‒ ICHARACTERMANAGEMENT

1

Character − An Investment to Success

To be successful in life is everyone’s natural desire. Achieving Success means getting something desired or planned in the field one chooses and then moving forward to be ahead from others.

Success gives you the following advantages:

Recognition in the Society

Respect and Regard

When a successful person attends a function or a gathering, he is recognised by all without any introductions

One can earn money and it provides him comforts and conveniences

Society remembers him for a long time

However, achieving success is not an easy task. One has to work hard, face difficult situations, hardships and should be disciplined.

Amitabh Bachchan, Kapil Dev, Sunil Gavaskar, Sachin Tendulkar, Dhirubhai Ambani, Steven Spielberg, Ram Gopal Varma, Mani Ratnam, R.D Burman, A.R Rahman, Steffi Graf, Madhuri Dixit, etc are some of the many well‒known personalities who belong to different fields but have one aspect or quality common in all of them and that is Success! Victory!!

All these people are successful in their respective fields and have reached to the highest positions in their lives.

However, one may wonder, what methods did they follow, or what acts did they do to reach to that level??

In fact, when you study the lives of all the above mentioned great personalities, you can notice some common qualities such as ‒

They all have a goal in their lives, an ambition. Until they achieve their ambition, they do not rest.

They have a strong personality to face any difficult situation or problem in their path of achieving success.

They are not overwhelmed with trivial initial results and struggle till the end until they achieve complete success.

They set a plan and move forward until they achieve their goal.

They are all workaholics, and follow the principle, ‘Work is Worship’.

All the above‒mentioned achievers of success are Genius! And we all know that some may be born Genius, but most of them are not born Genius, but made.

When we talk of a Genius, we immediately recall Einstein, one of the greatest scientists of the world. Here’s an amazing story behind his genius.

One day some scientists met Einstein and asked his permission to examine his brain after his death. He accepted their request with a small condition.

The condition was that he wanted to place a letter in a sealed cover which was to be opened only after receiving the report prepared on his brain examination!

They accepted his condition.

Later, Einstein passed away. Scientists conducted a thorough examination of his brain and prepared a report, and then they remembered his letter and opened it before all.

There were two sentences written in Einstein’s own handwriting:

First sentence ‒ “You have examined my Brain? My brain has nine billion cells like other human brains.”

Yes, even the scientists’ report said so.

Second sentence ‒”I alone know what the difference between others and me is.”

When they read those two sentences, they were astonished.

Actually, what Einstein intended to say was that he had the same brain what others have, but the only difference was that he had sharpened it with constant use, logical thinking and experimentation.

That is why Intellectuals say that if you want to become a genius, you need 80% perspiration, and 10% inspiration.

Perspiration means‒determination, attention, efforts, sincerity and hard work to reach the goal.

To become a genius, or to achieve success in any sphere of life, such as education, profession, love, marriage, etc, one has to put one’s efforts or hard work along with the desire and determination to fulfil one’s goal. Of course, self‒confidence and belief in oneself are compulsory!

In a recent survey conducted in the United States of America, regarding persons who achieved success, or reached to the top in their respective fields revealed that 85% of them attained success by improvising their personalities and the remaining 15% with their experience and talents in their respective fields.

So, in order to succeed, or achieve success in one’s field, be it literature, politics, cinema, journalism or any other field, one must first shape one’s personality and character. Your personality, character and individuality act as a passport leading your journey towards success. Hence, to achieve shape and groom your character, what all do you have to do??

Here is a famous saying by the well‒known scientist, Albert Einstein:

“There are only two ways to live your life.

One is as though nothing is a miracle.

The other is as though everything is a miracle.”

You can be adopt any one of the two ways.

Becoming One Among the Two Percent

Many of us do not know the difference between dreaming and making our dreams come true. However, following are six steps to ascend in one’s life or career and fulfil one’s desires:

1. You have to know what you need, that is your ‘Wish’ and it is a part of your dream or daydream. This dream does not have any image and about 70% of the world’s population are drowning in this daydream.

2. Some people create images of their dreams and change them into ‘Desires’. They often think in getting their desires fulfilled but have no commitments in achieving their desires. They end up in just desiring things and almost 10% of the people are of this type.

3. Some people transform their desires into ‘Hopes’. They are with the hope and often imagine that by any means their ‘Hopes’ will be fulfilled. Around 8% of the people are of this type.

4. Some people transform their hopes into ‘Belief’ and live with the expectation that by any means it will be fulfilled. About 6% of the people are of this type.

5. Few people turn their belief in making their desire come true into ‘Burning Desire’ and think that it will be definitely fulfilled, and 4% are of this type.

6. Finally, very few ascend to the 4th and 5th steps to fulfil their burning desire to come true, make necessary planning and put cent percent efforts towards it succeeding in the end.

Nothing is impossible for them! But only 2% are of this type.

If you want to become one among the two percent, then read this book until the last page.

2

Maturity

Any person, if he wants to be a human being should possess a character. To shape the character, first of all, he has to be matured as an individual.

Maturity means a person has to attain perfection physically, mentally, emotionally and in other aspects of life, as well.

One cannot attain maturity in one or two days, it is a continuous process in life.

Physical growth cannot determine the maturity of an individual. It shows only physical maturity. One has to achieve maturity not only physically, but also mentally and in different ways, then only you can say that one has achieved perfect maturity in his personality or character.

Basically, a person has to achieve the following traits to attain perfect maturity:

Chronological: It depends upon how many birthdays you have celebrated.

Physical: When your body has proper and perfect growth, it is physical maturity.

Intellectual: It depends upon how logical and rational your thinking is. This is intellectual maturity.

Emotional: It depends on your feelings and emotions (anger, joy) how you express and release them.

Social: It deals about your social relationship, how correct and pleasant you are able to be with others.

Philosophical: Your philosophical ideals, beliefs, moral values, etc., come under this aspect.

When you achieve perfection in the above mentioned aspects, then only you become a complete man or a woman and can be designated as a matured person.

Now, lets us read each type of maturity in detail:

Chronological Maturity

Your age is calculated from the day when you come out of your mother’s womb and how many years, months, days you spend on this earth. Year after year, according to your age, you will become ‘older’. If you are born two years earlier than your brother, lifelong, you are two years elder to him. There is no change in it. You cannot increase your age or reduce it.

Chronological Maturity gives certain benefits from the society like right to vote, inheritance right, driving license, right to marry, to open an account in post office or bank etc….. in these situations, chronological maturity helps the individual.

Physical Maturity

If a person attains his complete height, weight and energy, then he is said to have attained physical maturity. For example: A boy, who is in his growing years cannot say his body is physically matured.

When the physical growth stops, it indicates that the person is fully developed or matured. By this time, he receives the energy to do things, which adults usually do without fatigue. The glands in his body function just like the ones in adults.

When a child reaches physical maturity, we have some expectations from him/her in academics, when they participate in sports and games, do jobs, take up the family responsibilities, etc. Physical maturity also shows some influence on the relationship within and outside the family members.

Proper nutrition and exercises also help to some extent in the physical development, but cannot rectify the birth disorders and disabilities.

Intellectual Maturity

There are no measures to weigh whether a person has intellectual maturity or not. However, the points mentioned below will help you to some extent examine whether a person has attained intellectual maturity or not.

When he is able to understand the society in which he lives, the cultured words, numbers, signs and is able to respond and communicate with others.

Taking independent decisions without waiting for others‒ intellectual maturity is possible only when a person is capable of taking decisions independently.

When he is able to solve his problems impartially and examine them practically.

When he makes a mistake and accepts it in a dignified manner, without holding others responsible.

Quick decisions without thinking the outcome of its results is a sign of childish mentality and this shows that the person lacks intellectual maturity.

Intellectual maturity changes from person to person and depends upon the situation in which he is. Another important aspect is that there is a similar relationship between emotional maturity and intellectual maturity.

Emotional Maturity

To get irritated and feel sick when something that we think to happen does not happen and unable to control the anger are human weaknesses. These are the reactions of the people, who lack emotional maturity.

If one achieves the points mentioned below, he will become mentally stable and can attain emotional maturity.

Accepting the Responsibilities

Ability to Share the Love with others, as he desires to receive it from others

One should not always think that his wishes will be fulfilled immediately, but should realise that it takes a lot of time, efforts and determination to fulfil one’s desire, and patiently wait until the time comes.

One should reveal only some of his feelings to others and the rest of his feelings must be kept within him. When a person achieves this control over his feelings, he is said to have attained emotional maturity.

Emotional Maturity does not come in one or two days, it develops gradually, and then you have a total control on all your feelings or emotions.

One who achieves emotional maturity stands as a charming personality in the society and the society too compliments him or her.

Social Maturity

Mingling with different people without forming opinions about them comes under social maturity.

The cordial relationship with the society expands wider and stronger when a child becomes a boy, a boy becomes a teenager, and a teenager grows into an adult.

When one leaves his adolescence and enters into an adult life, one needs acquaintances with many different types of people. Therefore, when one deals with others in different situations, he/she has to make many adjustments.

Adjusting with others, without any rivalry and becoming one among others are the qualities of social maturity.

Your achievements like success, popularity, satisfaction, etc., all depend upon your social maturity.

Philosophical Maturity

Every man in his life has a philosophy, which is necessary. Essential values of life, goals, true friends, meaning towards life, dedication, etc ‒‒ are all part and parcel of philosophy. When a person attains this philosophical level, it results in philosophical maturity.

This philosophy relates to life, and has to be within the range one lives with the society’s terms and conditions, values, family and religion. How close his philosophy agrees with the principles of the society depends upon the philosophical maturity he has attained.

Now examine yourself and find out in how many above said aspects you are matured....

3

Self‒Love

(The foundation to build up your Self‒Confidence)

It is natural that everyone likes to get love, affection and honour from others. One who does not desire these things from others may be considered a fool or innocent or a sage.

A person should possess an attraction or ‘charisma’ to receive the desired love, affection and honour from others.

How can one acquire this charisma? What are the efforts one should put in to attain charisma?

Begin it with self‒love!!

One who loves himself has a good opinion upon himself. One who has a good opinion upon himself feels that the persons around him also like him and honour him.

When you feel others like you, you will react to them positively. When you react to them in a positive manner, they will also react in the same way and like you.

This kind of giving and taking is called as positive attitude.

The central idea behind all this is self‒love and making the people around you to love you.

First Step towards Self‒Confidence

Self‒love results in self‒confidence. Your body complexion, features, personality, stature, and all such aspects depend upon the love and positive attitude you have towards yourself and how much confident you are in your physical appearance.

It is not necessary that all these qualities should be in‒built in you. You can achieve them by grooming and self‒training yourself. However, to attain self‒confidence, it is important by all means to love yourself!!

The famous English writer, ‘Oscar Wilde’ had once said:

“When one loves himself, it is the foundation for lifelong romance.”

It you want to love yourself, you should have a good opinion upon yourself and on your self‒image. You can check it by attempting the selflove quiz given in this same chapter.

If you get 35 marks in this self‒love quiz, then you are a fairly confident person, particularly, you should know what you are actually thinking and feeling about each part of your body.

Stand Naked before the Mirror

Stand naked before a full size mirror. Now examine each part of your body. It is called as mirror test.

Hair

Face

Nails

Body Complexion

Neck

Sense organs

Eyes

Shoulders

Thighs

Ears

Spine

Calves

Eyebrows

Chest

Ankles

*Teeth

Hands

Feet

Lips

Stomach

Toes

Mouth

Lips

etc….

Chin

Fingers

It should not be Narcissism

Self‒love should not be in extreme. If it is extreme, it results in Narcissism. There is a beautiful story in Greek Mythology on Narcissism!

There was a handsome young man called Narcissus. He was so handsome that he used to forget himself by looking at his handsome figure. It made him to develop extreme love and affection upon himself.

Once he sat beside a pool and looked at his shadow with extreme admiration. He tried to catch his shadow (image) in the water and bent forward and drowned.

This is an example of extreme self‒love.

First, write about all your body parts separately. Then find out how to know your love towards each part, whenever you look at yourself on the mirror.

Do in the Following Manner

Write your opinion regarding each part, whether you are satisfied or dissatisfied with the part.

It is definite that you love all the parts that give you satisfaction.

Note down all the parts separately that give you dissatisfaction on a paper and you should be careful about these parts.

Now think how you can rectify the defects of those body parts that give you dissatisfaction, for example:

If you are short, you can cover up by wearing shoes with high heels or vertical striped clothing.

* It you have a big stomach or if you feel dissatisfied with any body part, you can rectify it through exercise and suitable makeup.

Self‒ Love Quiz

Answer the following statements:

1. I like to have myself photographed. 1 2 3 4

2. I will always tell my original age. 1 2 3 4

3. I will cover my grey hair. 1 2 3 4

4. I wish that I may be noticed by everyone. 1 2 3 4

5. I like to introduce the programmes on the stage. 1 2 3 4

6. I like to be stylish. 1 2 3 4

7. Often I check my weight. 1 2 3 4

8. I do not feel shy to run naked on the beach. 1 2 3 4

9. I do the exercise regularly. 1 2 3 4

10. I do not hesitate to take bath in an open place. 1 2 3 4

11. I don’t have any inferiority regarding my organs. 1 2 3 4

12. I do not wish about any part of my body to be in another shape. 1 2 3 4

If your answer is ‘no’ for any of the above question, mark ‘1’ if your answer is ‘yes’, mark ‘5’. If you feel 25 % ‘yes’, mark ‘2’ if 50 % yes, then mark ‘3’, and if 75% ‘yes’ then mark ‘4’.

Now look at your marks:

Between 36 and 60:

You have complete confidence on your body and feel proud of it.

Between 26 and 35:

You are happy with your body. You do not have any objection to show it before others. However, you like to make some changes regarding some aspects.

Between 12 and 25:

You are not at all happy with your body. You would like to make many changes in your body.

In this manner, if you can rectify the dissatisfied body parts that can be rectified, one by one slowly, after some time, you will love yourself and improve self‒confidence.

Many of Them Hate Their Physical Form

We spend most of the time feeling dissatisfied that we should be like some other person than what we are. One‒third of the persons in the world have this same opinion (Both ladies and gents).

This dissatisfaction results in hatred towards your own self and it this tendency is a bit high in females.

A journal ‘Psychology Today’ conducted a survey and reported that 75% males and 93% females are dissatisfied with their physical forms.

This dissatisfaction is because of a hefty personality and overweight. About 41% males and 55% females have been found to be showing their dissatisfaction in this aspect.

In the above‒mentioned survey, half of the males and females complained about their large bellies.

Ladies often worry about their size of their breasts and buttocks.

Another amusing fact is that the persons who had satisfaction or dissatisfaction towards their bodies in their teenage continued the same satisfaction or dissatisfaction throughout their later life.

Around 87% males and 78% females expressed that they feel their bodies were not as attractive in their later age as it were in their teenage.

Therefore, cheer up, since you are not the only one who has dissatisfaction with your physical form, about 75% of the people around you are also of the same opinion…

Pleasant Personality

Primarily, any person in order to show ‘himself’ as a highly regarded person in the society, should possess a ‘personality’. It should be a matured personality‒socially, mentally, physically, emotionally, intellectually, etc to achieve perfection in one’s personality.

If any person wants to prove or get appreciated in the society, his personality needs an “Aura” ‒Appearance ‒ then only he gets the right to say proudly, “I am”.

Then he does not need any introduction about himself, others recognise him and talk about him in the highest degree.

To achieve a pleasant personality, one should have the qualities mentioned below ‒

Neat Appearance

Positive Attitude

Reacting according to the Situation

Truthful Life

Timely Decisions

Respect and Regard

Witty Conversation

Melodious Voice

Laughter

Patience and Persistence

Not Lying

Sense of Humour

Just Behaviour

Controlling the Emotions

Concern and Appreciation towards Life

Acquiring Knowledge

Love and Care for others

Not to be Stubborn, Boastful and Proud

Sportiveness

Good Handshake and Pleasant Speaking

Now examine and self‒evaluate yourself to find out how many of the above‒mentioned qualities are in you!

4

Self‒Esteem

Say immediately:

Of all, whom do you like the most?

Say quickly:

Not praise‒not respect‒not love “Like”

Which person do you like the most?

Is it difficult?

Are you thinking whom you like the most?

Do not worry, the answer is very simple‒‒

The person whom you like the most in this world is‒ yourself!!

Some more questions:

Are you sad thinking that you are not beautiful?

Have you thought any time about yourself that “I am fit for nothing?”

Do you fear that you cannot achieve what you want to achieve?

Often do you compare with others and feel sad?

Do you blame yourself when things go wrong?

Are you always depressed?

Do you always feel sad about the things, which do not happen, according to your will and about the life, which is not in your control?

If you say, ‘Yes’ to any one of the above‒mentioned questions, then the ‘Self‒Esteem’ about yourself is very low.

Having high regard upon yourself is called as ‘Self‒Esteem’ or ‘Soul Esteem’.

Self‒Love, Self‒Respect, fulfilling the needs, and feeling high about yourself‒ are some of the qualities of self‒esteem!

For example ‒

If a boy is in deep love with a girl, to look at her, to be near her, or to talk to her… all these things will give him immense happiness. She will be the most important person for him in the world and he will be ready to do anything, or any kind of adventure for her. Isn’t it?

Now imagine yourself in the girl’s place. Do all the above mentioned activities for yourself instead of the girl and this is called self‒esteem!

Self‒Esteem influences our thoughts, words, deeds, the way we look at the world, our position in the world, the way we react with others, and finally, it also influences on every decision that we take regarding our lives. It even greatly influences the aspects like ‘To Love’ and ‘To be Loved’.

The Real Test for Self‒Esteem

If we are able to love and respect ourselves, even when everything in life turns upside down and our life is almost ruined, that is real self‒esteem!

These qualities show that you have self‒esteem‒ patting yourself even when you are in sorrows and sufferings and by not losing the love, respect and high regard upon yourself.

Self‒ Esteem will be in a higher range in the person who achieves success in every aspect of his life. Such people achieve success through self‒love and feel high about themselves. Achievements of success increase the Soul‒ Esteem in them.

Rooted in Childhood

In every person, Self‒Esteem is rooted in his/her childhood. Of all the parts in our body, our brain develops faster! When a child comes into the word from the mother’s womb, the size of the brain is generally one/eighth portion of an adult’s brain and reaches to half of the size of the adult’s brain when they he/she is one and a half years old. When the child reaches five years, the size of the brain grows and develops to become three/fourth of an adult’s brain.

During the childhood when the brain grows faster, the imprints of experiences and emotions are rooted strongly in the brain. Later, it is very difficult to erase them.

That is why the bringing up of a child by his/her parents till the age of five influences his/her mind which imprints and remains forever in his/her later lives, especially it highly influences the values that he/she develops upon him/her. These values build up his/her self‒esteem.

If the parents bring up their children in a rejected manner or treat them low, then the children feel that they are inferior to other children and the same feeling lasts in them for long even when they grow up into adults. This is one of the main reasons why some people develop a low Self‒Esteem or inferiority complex.

Parents can scold their children for their bad or foolish deeds, but they should not make them responsible and hurt their personal feelings.

For example, if a child did not do a given work properly, you should not say, “You are a useless fellow, you can’t do any work.”

You can instead say, “It would have been better if you had done like this. This is the first time. Next time, you can do it correctly.”

You should not use the words like ‘unworthy fellow’ or ‘unfortunate fellow’. These words make the child to think low of him/her leading to inferiority complex.

Self‒Confidence and Self‒Esteem

Some of them think that self‒confidence and self‒esteem are one and the same, but it is not correct. Even a person with low self‒esteem can move forward with self‒confidence in a particular aspect or in a particular thing. Likewise, a person with high self‒esteem may lack the self‒confidence regarding a particular aspect.

For example, a person with high self‒esteem may lack the self‒confidence to speak in public places, gatherings, give debates and lectures, etc. He may also be less confident in performing on a stage, playing music, or singing, painting, dancing, etc.

Basically, your mind is like a muscle.

The more you use and‒

The more you sharpen it‒

It becomes all the more stronger.

Self‒confidence means to believe that you can face or solve any problem in any situation with your talents! On the other hand, as a person if you have a high regard upon yourself in the depth of your heart, it is called as self‒esteem!

If you have a positive or a high regard upon yourself, you can exhibit self‒confidence in different situations using your different skills easily. This is the difference between the two.

To simplify it one can say: Self‒Esteem is the foundation for Self Confidence!

Inferiority Complex

Inferiority Complex is completely the opposite of Self‒Esteem. Some parents always compare their children with their equals or with their brothers or sisters and blame them. Due to this, the child always compares himself with others of his/ her age group whom he/ she admires and feels low of himself or herself. This makes him to develop a low self‒esteem and ultimately, he/ she begins suffering from an inferiority complex.

When a child’s brain is in the developing stage, this type of foolish behaviour or actions of the parents can even make the child lose belief and respect upon himself destroying his personality and ultimately ruining his life. It may also result in lack of self‒esteem and self‒confidence and a permanent inferiority complex develops within him.

Behaviour of the Self‒Esteemed

The behaviour and the qualities of the self‒esteemed are as follows:

He feels that he is a prominent and valuable person.

He thinks that he has a quality that is respected by others.

He can influence others.

He thinks and speaks positively about others.

He feels and behaves comfortably before his superiors and higher officials without shyness and fear.

He is capable of doing his work without caring others’ remarks.

He takes up responsibilities. If he speaks anything by mistake, he politely agrees and does not try to avoid it and says, “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said like that, etc.”

He values others’, opinions and says, “Yes, what you said is correct.”

If he dislikes a person, he will be away from him or her, but he doesn’t pretend and talk to him sweetly with jealousy at heart.

When others make negative comments, which are not correct, he tries to defend them.

He expects others to agree and respect him.

He works hard in urgent situations.

He is ready to extend his sympathies and cooperation when needed.

He never boasts of himself.

He is always ready to praise the righteousness, capabilities and greatness in others.

To sum up in brief, we can say that a person who has self‒esteem is liberal and very generous!

The more you like and respect yourself,

The more you like and respect others.

Likewise, others also like and respect you!

The Behaviour of a Person with Low Self‒Esteem

Self‒esteem is very high in some persons and is very low in some people. If we take a scale of Zero to Ten, ‘very low’ is Zero and ‘very high’ is ‘ten’, then the persons in between these numbers have different levels of self‒esteem.

On the scale, if it shows Zero, the self‒esteem is very low and of negative quality and if it shows Ten, then the self‒esteem is very high and of positive quality.

The behaviour of the persons who have self‒esteem between 5 and 10 on the scale are considered to be average and good.

If the scale indicates zero, it shows not only a very low self‒esteem, but also an inferiority complex in a person.

Now let us examine the behaviour of the people who have a low self-esteem or Inferiority Complex!

Healthy Personality

Many people in the world think that they have a ‘Healthy Personality’ or they want to have a healthy personality.

What is the definition for a ‘Healthy Personality’?

A healthy personality has three important qualities:

The first quality of a Healthy Personality is looking ‘comfortable and good’ in every situation and facing each situation that we encounter in life bravely. Looking ‘uncomfortable and bad’ in every situation is the symptom of an‘Unhealthy Personality’.

The second quality of a Healthy Personality is to excuse the persons who have harmed and distressed you! You will lose your peace and happiness if you always think of the harm they made to you. If you forgive them, the mind will also be free. The persons who have a healthy personality do not keep their anger, hatred, dislike and revenge in their minds. They do not worry about the past things and always erase those memories from their minds. Forgiveness always keeps the minds calm and clear.

The third quality of a Healthy Personality is to mix with the people who are with different mentalities, attitudes and motives! It is easy to mix with the people who have same opinions, likes and dislikes and are equal in their economical and social aspects. But it is impossible for all to live together and mix with the people who have different opinions, values, personalities, temperaments, etc. Only the persons who have a healthy personality can do it. The third quality is the most important milestone for a healthy personality!

Measure

Self‒Esteem is the measure for a Healthy Personality. The more you like and respect yourself, the more you like and respect others and likewise, others also like and respect you!

If you value yourself, then others also start valuing you.

The persons with low self‒esteem show more anger, intolerance, irritation and indulge in loose talk. They become a nuisance to the people around them. They do not like themselves or others. As a result, others also do not like them. These are the symptoms of an unhealthy personality.

Improvement of ‘Self‒Esteem’ leads to a ‘Healthy Personality’!

Throwing Blame upon Others

The people without self‒esteem try to put the blame upon others if any calamity or loss occurs in their lives. They never accept the truth that the loss has occurred because of their defect or mistake.

They feel happy and comfortable when they hold others responsible for their failures. It also shows that others are inferior to them.

The self‒esteemed (soul‒esteemed) take up the responsibility for the loss and act in a decent manner.

Finding Faults

The people without self‒esteem always try to find fault with others, particularly to hide their own faults from others. For example, a woman who is herself at fault tries to find fault with other women. She is only interested in useless gossips.

Curious about Others’ Compliments

Many people try to attract others’ attentions and care a lot about others’ opinions. They try their level best to get compliments from others and all these are because of not having enough confidence on their own merits and values.

In other words, persons without self‒esteem always struggle for others’ compliments. They try to cover up their own follies and defects through others’ good or bad remarks.

Self‒boasting and Speaking High

Some people always talk high and boast about themselves. This shows their inferiority complex. Those who have no self‒esteem cover their own faults in this way and deceive themselves and others by such things, i.e., self‒boasting!

In order to make an impression on others that they are valuable, they say, “I can do like this, or I can do like that.”

They behave like this because they have no confidence and honour upon themselves and think that others also have the same feeling about them. These are the symptoms of Inferiority Complex!

It is natural to compare ourselves with others.

But ‘winners’ never compare with others.

In their opinion, ‘success’ means to perform the ‘best’ in them, according to the standards they set!

Winners accept ‘themselves’ as they are and keep moving forward making continuous and necessary changes in them for their selfdevelopment.

Unable to Resist Compliments

Some people feel shy when others praise them. This also shows their lack of self‒esteem! For example, if a man wears a new shirt, and you say, “This is very nice,” “where did you buy from?” If he replies, “I didn’t like it but there wasn’t another one to buy in that shop, so I bought this one,” or “this is not even of the latest fashion.” These kinds of replies reveal that he lacks self‒esteem. However, if he replies, “Thank you” or “I searched four or five shops and brought this and I too liked it.”‒ This expression shows that he has a high self‒esteem!

So also, when a student is congratulated for passing in first class and if he says, “It’s all God’s grace” or “because my father compelled me to read, that’s why I got this rank,” shows that he does not know his own value.