Success as an Introvert For Dummies E-Book

Joan Pastor

• Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
• Kategorie: Ratgeber
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2013

Seitenzahl: 527

Beschreibung

Thrive as an introvert in an extrovert world Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, and author J.K. Rowling have more in common than being highly successful. They're also introverts. Success as an Introvert For Dummies identifies common misunderstandings about introverts and highlights the strengths often found in people associated with this worldview. Success as an Introvert For Dummies examines the traits common to introverts and the benefits they bring to both work and life. You'll learn: how to boost your confidence while learning strategies for successfully living in an extrovert world; how to understand introversion and where you fall on the introvert/extrovert continuum; tools to improve relationships with colleagues, partners, friends, and children; ways to talk less, communicate more, and showcase your abilities at work; how to deal effectively with parties, interruptions, and crowds; and much more. * Offers examples of how introverts can thrive in a world dominated by extroverts * Outlines the positive aspects of introverted personality types * Provides actionable ways to promote introverted qualities in work and life Success as an Introvert For Dummies is for anyone looking to understand the introvert's worldview and how they fit into a society dominated by extroverts.

Leseprobe

Success as an Introvert For Dummies®

Published by: John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030-5774, www.wiley.com

Copyright © 2014 by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey

Published simultaneously in Canada

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning or otherwise, except as permitted under Sections 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without the prior written permission of the Publisher. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, [phone], fax [phone], or online at http://www.wiley.com/go/permissions.

Trademarks: Wiley, For Dummies, the Dummies Man logo, Dummies.com, Making Everything Easier, and related trade dress are trademarks or registered trademarks of John Wiley & Sons, Inc., and may not be used without written permission. All other trademarks are the property of their respective owners. John Wiley & Sons, Inc., is not associated with any product or vendor mentioned in this book.

Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: while the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. no warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. The advise and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. you should consult with a professional where appropriate. neither the publisher nor the author shall be liable for damages arising herefrom.

For general information on our other products and services, please contact our Customer Care Department within the U.S. at 877-762-2974, outside the U.S. at 317-572-3993, or fax [phone]. For technical support, please visit www.wiley.com/techsupport.

Wiley publishes in a variety of print and electronic formats and by print-on-demand. Some material included with standard print versions of this book may not be included in e-books or in print-on-demand. If this book refers to media such as a CD or DVD that is not included in the version you purchased, you may download this material at http://booksupport.wiley.com. For more information about Wiley products, visit www.wiley.com.

Library of Congress Control Number: 2013949557

ISBN 978-1-118-73837-5 (pbk); ISBN 978-1-118-73832-0 (ebk); ISBN 978-1-118-73843-6 (ebk); ISBN 978-1-118-73866-5 (ebk)

Manufactured in the United States of America

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Success as an Introvert For Dummies®

Visit www.dummies.com/cheatsheet/successasintrovert to view this book's cheat sheet.

Table of Contents

Introduction

About This Book

Foolish Assumptions

Icons Used in this Book

Beyond the Book

Where to Go from Here

Part I: Getting Started Understanding Introversion

Chapter 1: Introverted? Good for You!

How Introverts and Extroverts Differ

The biggest difference between introverts and extroverts

Other ways introverts are different from extroverts

Why Being an Introvert Is Cool

Introverts are great friends

Introverts are creative

Introverts are natural leaders

Introverts are studious

If Being an Introvert Is So Great, What’s the Problem?

Thriving in an Extroverted World

Chapter 2: Are You Really an Introvert?

Qualifying as an Introvert

Exploring the introvert continuum

Taking the test: Do you score as an introvert?

Considering Shyness

Separating shyness from introversion

Taking the test: Are you shy?

Dealing with shyness

Comparing normal, healthy shyness to serious disorders

Getting in Touch with Sensitivity

Identifying the difference between sensitivity and introversion

Taking the test: Are you highly sensitive?

Managing sensitive issues

Meditating your stress away

Chapter 3: What Makes You an Introvert, and Will You Always Be One?

Nature or Nurture: Determining What Makes You an Introvert

Your genes

Your brain’s wiring

The influence of culture

The effects of upbringing

Acting Like an Outie: When Temporarily Playing the Extrovert Can Work

Mastering the skills of the pretend extrovert

Recognizing the pros and cons of being a pretend extrovert

Can You (and Should You) Become a Real Extrovert?

Can you truly change your stripes?

Will you get more innie or outie as you age?

Part II: Triumphing in an Extrovert’s Work World

Chapter 4: Playing to Your Strengths: How to Shine in the Workplace

The Facts of Office Life

Thriving in a Noisy Workplace

Making a break for it

Creating an innie oasis in your cubicle

Scheduling blocks of “alone” time

Getting physical

Telecommuting

Establishing Yourself at Work

Shining a light on your successes

Flexing your quiet power at meetings

Standing up to workplace troublemakers

Making allies in the workplace

Finding Your Niche: Jobs that Appeal to Introverts and Extroverts

Identifying careers that are a natural fit for innies or outies

Picking the career that fits you best

Chapter 5: Making Your Mark as a Quiet Leader

Assessing Your Leadership Strengths

Your research and decision-making skills

Your knack for encouraging independence

Anticipating the Challenges of Leading as an Introvert

Setting the Stage for Success

Building your transformational skills

Reinforcing effectively

Acing the art of structured brainstorming

Boosting your emotional intelligence

Mastering the art of focused conversation

Six Survival Tips for Innie Leaders

Delegating more

Outing yourself as an innie

Guarding your internal energy by scheduling wisely

Wearing “power clothes”

Creating a battery-recharging retreat

Pairing up with an extrovert

Chapter 6: Keeping a Team Happy and Productive

Understanding the Stages of Team Development

Taking Charge in the Forming Stage

Creating a contract with your team

Establishing accountability

Projecting quiet confidence

Getting your team members acquainted

Leading in the Storming Stage

Creating a team support agreement

Analyzing team dynamics

Communicating clearly and beware the innie “cone of silence”

Troubleshooting effectively

Leading in the Norming Stage

Focusing on key results

Keeping an eye on your norms and goals

Building relationships

Leading in the Performing Stage

Ending on a High Note in the Adjourning Stage

Chapter 7: Becoming a Confident Public Speaker

Calming Your Innie Nerves: Preparation Is the Key

Visualizing success

Identifying your pivotal points

Mastering your material

Focusing on your priorities

Getting the details down pat

Practicing your technique

Grabbing Your Audience: Six Ways to Win Them Over

Making your listeners feel comfortable and connected

Grabbing their attention with stories and humor

Persuading with power

Changing things up to keep your listeners’ attention

Handling hecklers with ease

Being yourself

Catching Your Breath and Briefly Taking the Spotlight Off Yourself

Asking your audience for input

Offering handouts

Scheduling battery-recharging breaks

Chapter 8: Managing Up

The First Step in Managing Up: Knowing Your Manager

Responding to your manager’s style

Identifying your manager’s goals

Earning your manager’s trust

The Second Step in Managing Up: Expanding Your Role

Spotting avenues for growth

Becoming a problem solver

Stepping outside your comfort zone

Volunteering as a peer coach

Avoiding Pitfalls When You’re Managing Up

Making a Habit of Managing Up

Chapter 9: Moving On: Acing a Job Interview the Introvert Way

Identifying Your Strengths and Challenges

Prepping for an Interview

Doing your detective work

Creating a powerful portfolio

Rehearsing with a friend who won’t go easy on you

Writing down your key points

Making a wish list

Scoring in a Phone Interview

Performing on the Big Day

Getting ready for your interview

Looking assertive at interview time

Assessing Fit: Are the Job and the Workplace Right for You?

Asking the right questions

Gathering clues on a tour

Weighing the pros and cons

Handling a “No”

Responding to a “Yes”

Negotiating salary

Talking about vacations, schedules, and benefits

Setting a start date

Planning Your Path to Career Success

Setting smart goals

Gaining the job skills you need

Chapter 10: Succeeding as an Entrepreneur

Starting Off on the Right Foot

Creating your business plan

Strengthening your entrepreneurial skills

Overcoming the urge to procrastinate

Marketing Yourself

Building your reputation as an expert

Teaming up with other entrepreneurs (especially outies)

Asking extroverts to help you make contacts

Integrating Internet and face-to-face marketing

Polishing your online presence

Creating Long-Term Loyalty

Being available

Influencing in the right way

Building deeper relationships with your clients

Giving back to your community

Thanking your clients in small ways

Avoiding marketing approaches that irritate clients

Coping When Prospects Don’t Pan Out

Dealing with disappearing acts

Handling rejection

Building Your Dream Team

Interviewing wisely when you’re hiring staff

Choosing employees who can complement your skills

Hiring the right person to make your website sparkle

Considering a business coach

Part III: Finding Personal Happiness as an “Innie”

Chapter 11: Being Your Personal Best

Being Kind to Yourself

Using the dump-sheet-and-flower technique

Reframing your thoughts

Practicing thought-stopping

Treating life as an experiment

Visualizing your happy, healthy inner child and inner adult

Gaining More Control Over Your Life

Taming self-pity

Taking charge of your problems

Cultivating optimism

Harnessing the power of gratitude

Getting Your Stress Under Control

Interpreting stressful events accurately

Understanding your stress threshold

Considering a personal coach or mental health professional

Making New Friends

Looking for friends in all the right places

Setting realistic goals

Breaking the ice

Keeping friendships healthy

Chapter 12: Falling in Love and Staying in Love

Navigating the Dating Scene

Spotting people you’d like to date

Making a first date work

Addressing expectations

Enjoying a Deep and Healthy Relationship

Grasping the basics of a good relationship

Recognizing how different personalities mesh in relationships

Handling Innie-Outie Differences Successfully

Identifying each other’s needs and interests

Figuring out how to talk with each other

Looking for win-win solutions

Analyzing your different arguing styles

Being wary of perfectionism

Identifying the real source of your issues

Splitting Up Sanely

When you’re getting dumped

When you’re doing the dumping

Chapter 13: “Cheers!” Taking the Stress Out of Big Social Events

Understanding Why Social Occasions Stress You Out

Coping When You’re an Innie Guest

Planning ahead

Escaping the crowd

Breaking the ice

Scheduling some unwinding time — before, during, and after

Coping When You’re an Innie Host

Taking the focus off yourself

Creating innie sanctuaries

Teaming up with a cohost

Recharging your batteries

Getting those last guests to go home

Deciding Whether to Say Yes or No to an Invitation

Determining which invitations to accept

Declining invitations tactfully

Part IV: Supporting Introverts

Chapter 14: Being an Understanding Friend to an Introvert

Accepting Innies Just as They Are

Recognizing that introversion is healthy

Recognizing the special strengths of the innies you know

Making an Innie-Outie Relationship Work

Respecting an introvert’s need for “alone” time

Allowing an introvert to think before talking

Minimizing multitasking demands

Understanding an introvert’s desire to stay out of the spotlight

Grasping an introvert’s approach to new activities

Partying in Ways That Suit You Both

Getting the introvert’s perspective on social occasions

Being okay with early departures

Accepting an introvert’s right to skip some events

Chapter 15: Parenting an Introverted Child

Identifying Introversion in a Child

Distinguishing Between Introversion and Medical Conditions

Considering ADD and ADHD

Ruling out autism spectrum disorders

Creating an Innie-Friendly Home for Your Child

Appreciating your child’s innie-ness

Steering clear of the overscheduling trap

Helping your innie child handle change

Bridging the communication gap

Keeping sibling relationships positive

Giving your innie her own private space

Encouraging Friendships

Helping a younger child make friends

Helping an older child or teen make friends

Helping an introverted teen handle romance — or the lack of it

Enhancing Your Child’s Self-Image

Explaining introversion to your child

Avoiding the urge to praise outie behaviors

Acknowledging your child’s emotions

Helping Your Young Innie Have a Good School Experience

Working with your child’s school and teachers

Considering alternatives to public schools

Protecting Your Child from Bullies

Making sure your child’s school has an anti-bullying plan

Teaching your child ways to handle bullies

Part V : The Part of Tens

Chapter 16: Ten Notable Innies

Charles Darwin

Neil Armstrong

Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Johnny Depp

Eddie Murphy

Johnny Carson

Jerry Seinfeld

Tom Smith

Calvin Coolidge

Abraham Lincoln

Chapter 17: Ten Tips for Making a Networking Event Work for You

Be Picky

Do Your Homework

Set SMART Goals for Each Event

Think about Trout Fishing (Really!)

Arrive Early

Focus on One Person at a Time

Grab a Plate

Manage Your Leads

Be the One Who Reaches Out

Say Thanks

Chapter 18: Ten Things an Introvert Doesn’t Want to Hear

“We were just in the neighborhood and thought we’d drop in.”

“Turn to the person next to you and introduce yourself.”

“Guess what — I told the waiter it’s your birthday!”

“We’re having so much fun; can we stay with you a few more days?”

“Oh, I just thought of one more great story. . . .”

“Surprise!”

“Give your Aunt Ruth a big hug.”

“You’re so quiet; what’s wrong?”

“Yay! Our class reunion is coming up!”

“I’m so glad you returned my call; we have a lot to catch up on.”

Chapter 19: Ten Ways to Make a Workplace Innie-Friendly

Let Innies Migrate to the Edges of Your Office

Cut Down on Meetings

Make Your Meetings Better

Provide Privacy Screens

Ask about Acoustics

Create Private Zones

Give a Thumbs-Up to Headphones

Let Your Workers Telecommute Part of the Time

Offer Innies Opportunities to Work Independently

Rethink Your Interview Process

About the Author

Cheat Sheet

Connect with Dummies

Introduction

Are you an introvert? If so, I have good news: It’s your time to shine!

Yes, you’re still living in a world that’s geared for extroverts. From cocktail parties to crowded cubicle farms, the universe seems to be designed for social butterflies. But behind the scenes, a “quiet power” revolution is going on. Introverts are coming into their own, both personally and professionally — and in the process, they’re starting to remake the world so it works for them.

Success as an Introvert For Dummies is part of that revolution. In these pages, you discover why introverts are so wonderful and why the world couldn’t get along without them. Better yet, I show you how to use your introverted strengths to reach your full potential. And I also tell you how to redesign your professional and personal environments so they empower you to be happy, healthy, and successful.

About This Book

Success as an Introvert For Dummies is all about introverts. (You guessed that, right?) But one thing I want to say right upfront is that although I’m a huge fan of introverts, I’m a huge fan of extroverts, too.

Why do I mention this? Because I’m surprised by the number of books and websites that pit introverts and extroverts against each other, as if one personality type is “right” and the other is “wrong.” That’s a big mistake, because the truth is that both introverts and extroverts are terrific. And they’re both more successful when they’re trying to understand and help each other, not when they’re at war with each other.

So I’ve written this book to empower both innies (introverts) and the outies (extroverts) who support them. Whether you’re an innie or an outie, I hope you’ll feel welcomed and respected as you read these pages.

By the way, I use the terms innie and outie frequently in these pages. I’ve borrowed the terms from psychologist Marti Laney, who deserves a hat tip because I think she’s the first person to come up with them.

Foolish Assumptions

As I wrote this book, I tried to imagine who its readers would be and what they’d want to know. And here’s what I’m assuming about you:

You’re an introvert — or you have an introverted partner, relative, or friend who you want to understand better.

You’re more interested in practical advice than in scientific theories. However, you’re also a little bit curious about what makes introverts tick.

You lead a busy life, so you want information you can quickly translate into action.

You’re interested both in personal fulfillment and in career advancement. (And here’s good news: The information in this book is geared for introverts, but whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, you’ll find tips that will help you both professionally and personally.)

Icons Used in this Book

To make this book even more useful for you, I include special icons to help you spot ideas and information you may find particularly useful. Here’s what each one means.

This icon draws your attention to a piece of advice that’s worthy of special attention.

This icon flags important information to keep in mind as you expand your knowledge about introverts.

I use this icon to help you steer clear of mistakes that can cause problems at work or in your personal relationships.

If you’re interested in the science behind introversion, keep an eye out for this icon.

Beyond the Book

You got more than you bargained for when you bought this book. You can access bonus material online at www.dummies.com:

You can download the book's Cheat Sheet at www.dummies.com/cheatsheet/successasanintrovert. It's a handy resource to keep on your computer, tablet, or smartphone.

You can read interesting companion articles that supplement the book's content at www.dummies.com/extras/successasanintrovert. There's even an extra top-ten list for your amusement.

Where to Go from Here

If you want to skip around as you read this book, feel free! You can read each chapter on its own, and I include handy cross-references. So dive into any chapter or section that interests you. Here are some suggestions:

If you’re fascinated by what makes you an introvert — or you’re wondering whether you really are an introvert — you may want to jump into Chapters 2 and 3.

If you’re more interested in making your introverted nature work for you in the business world, Chapter 4 is a good place to start. And if you want to climb the career ladder quickly, check out Chapters 5 through 10 as well.

If you want to increase your personal satisfaction, make new friends, and find true romance the introverted way, check out Chapters 11 and 12.

If you’re seeking tips for surviving (or even enjoying) social occasions, take a peek at Chapter 13.

If you’re an extrovert who wants to be supportive of an introverted friend or child, Chapter 14 or 15 is a good jumping-off point.

No matter where you start, I think you’ll enjoy discovering more about the remarkable gifts and talents that introverts possess. And if you’re an introvert yourself, I hope you’ll come away feeling proud about how amazing you are!

Part I

Getting Started Understanding Introversion

Visit www.dummies.com for more great Dummies content online.

In this part . . .

Understand the differences between introverts and extroverts.

Recognize the traits of an introvert and see whether you qualify by taking a couple of informal quizzes.

Find out how to live in an extroverted world and explore techniques for pretending to be extroverted when you need to.

Understand that shyness and sensitivity don’t necessarily mean introversion.

Discover what makes you an innie.

Chapter 1

Introverted? Good for You!

In This Chapter

Spotting the differences between introverts and extroverts

Valuing the talents and assets of innies

Identifying the challenges of being an introvert in an extrovert’s world

Knowing the five basics for succeeding as an introvert

Does the following sound like you? You’re happier reading a book than going to a dinner party. You love your friends, but you treasure your moments alone. And you’d rather eat nails than attend a corporate team-building event.

If any of these ring a bell, I’m guessing you’re an introvert. And what’s more, I’m guessing that your extroverted friends don’t understand you atall.

Oh, sure, these people love you. But they don’t get why noisy team meetings and brainstorming sessions wear you out. They can’t figure out why you prefer hiking or puttering in your kitchen to singing karaoke in a crowded bar. And above all, many of them think they can (and should) change you.