The Ask E-Book

Laura Fredricks

• Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
• Kategorie: Fachliteratur
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 443

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2010

Beschreibung

A completely revised edition of the must-have resource forincreasing your nonprofit's bottom line This thoroughly revised and updated edition of the best-sellingbook The Ask is filled with suggestions, guidelines, anddown-to-earth advice that will give you the confidence to askanyone for any size gift, for any purpose. Written in winninglanguage, filled with sample dialogues, and offering a wealth oftips and tools, this book addresses common mistakes made whenasking and shows how to correct each mistake, providing guidanceand direction on how to make a great ask. * Offers step-by-step guidance for learning personal solicitationskills * Filled with real-world tools and techniques for raising moneyor support * Contains advice for overcoming situations such as hesitating toask for money and following through on the ask * Written for fundraisers from any size organization Includes information on how to apply asking skills to afundraiser's personal and professional pursuits. Note: CD-ROM/DVD and other supplementary materials arenot included as part of eBook file.

Leseprobe

Table of Contents

Praise

Title Page

Copyright Page

Foreword

Dedication

Preface

Acknowledgements

Introduction

WHO SHOULD READ THIS BOOK

HOW THE BOOK IS ORGANIZED

PART I - What Do I Need to Know Before I Ask?

CHAPTER 1 - What Money Means to You and Why Ask?

WHAT DOES MONEY MEAN TO YOU?

WHY DO YOU HESITATE TO ASK?

CONCLUSION

LOOKING AHEAD

CHAPTER 2 - Do You Have a Well-Thought-Out Plan of What You Want?

THE IMPORTANCE OF A WELL-THOUGHT-OUT PLAN

CASE STATEMENT FOR NONPROFITS

BUSINESS PLAN FOR BUSINESSES

THE SCRIPT FOR EACH ASK

FUNDRAISING LANGUAGE

THREE-STEP METHOD PRIOR TO ANY ASK

CONCLUSION

LOOKING AHEAD

CHAPTER 3 - How Do I Know Who to Ask and When to Ask?

WHO SHOULD BE ASKED?

EVERY PERSON MUST BE TREATED INDIVIDUALLY

WEALTH DOES NOT ALWAYS TRANSLATE INTO TRANSFERRING WEALTH

RESEARCH CAN HELP TO PRIORITIZE WHO TO ASK

ASKING FRIENDS, RELATIVES, OR COLLEAGUES DOES NOT HAVE TO BE STRESSFUL

WHEN SHOULD YOU ASK?

ASKING FOR MONEY IN HARD ECONOMIC TIMES

CONCLUSION

LOOKING AHEAD

CHAPTER 4 - Who Should Make the Ask and in What Setting?

WHO SHOULD MAKE THE ASK?

WHAT IS THE BEST SETTING FOR THE ASK?

CONCLUSION

LOOKING AHEAD

PART II - How Do I Make the Ask?

CHAPTER 5 - Asking for a Cause—Small and Large Charitable Gifts

ASKING FOR A SMALL AND SIGNIFICANT CHARITABLE GIFT

ASKING FOR A LARGE AND TRANSFORMATIONAL CHARITABLE GIFT

TROUBLESHOOTING TIPS TO APPLY PRIOR TO THE ASK

CONCLUSION

LOOKING AHEAD

CHAPTER 6 - Asking for Yourself

ASKING FOR A JOB-RELATED CAUSE

ASKING FOR A CREATIVE PROJECT

ASKING FOR A BUSINESS VENTURE

CONCLUSION

LOOKING AHEAD

CHAPTER 7 - Handling the Responses to the Ask

PREPARING FOR THE RESPONSE

CONCLUSION

LOOKING AHEAD

CHAPTER 8 - Following Up with Each and Every Ask

NEXT STEPS AFTER EACH ASK

JUGGLING YOUR TIME TO DO ALL THE FOLLOW-UP

TROUBLESHOOTING TIPS FOR THE FOLLOW-UP

CONCLUSION

LOOKING AHEAD

CHAPTER 9 - When the Answer Is “No” and When the Answer Is “Yes”

A “NO” ANSWER

A “YES” ANSWER

CONCLUSION

LOOKING AHEAD

CHAPTER 10 - Pulling It All Together

About the Author

Index

“Do you want to think bigger about who you are and what you offer the world? Of course, you do. Then you need to do the work, but you shouldn’t do it alone. That’s why you must be able to ask for help. Laura’s book will show you how to do so with grace and strength. Highly recommended.”

—Michael Port, New York Times bestselling author of The Think Big Manifesto

“People are more involved and more passionate than ever about causes in their life and reaching goals, yet most still are not very good at the most important part: asking for what they want in life! This book offers comprehensive but practical advice on how to connect with, convince, and inspire people to help you succeed in your goals—whether it’s business, charitable, personal, or any aspect of your life.”

—Paulette V. Maehara, president and CEO, Association of Fundraising Professionals, Alexandria, VA

“In my experience, asking is all about imparting a sense of urgency and making your ask crystal clear and positive, not apologetic or assuming the person will be offended. Laura gives great examples of how to make each ask a positive experience for the asker, as well as for the person being asked.”

—John E. Möller, director, Office of Protocol, The University of Queensland, Brisbane, Australia

“I find it a privilege to do the work of Keystone Human Services. Increasingly, when I ask others to share in the work, I approach the ask as an invitation to become part of something significant, something that is relevant to the times and personally meaningful. Everyone wants their life to matter—what better gift is there?”

—Dennis W. Felty, president Keystone Human Services, Harrisburg, PA

“Unless you ask, how can you know that the road is open for business?”

—Maria Isabel De Guzman Vendrell, Certified Yoga Teacher IYTA, Puerto Rico

“Asking for money is something everyone else is supposed to do—not the artist, the performer. Wrong! While I resist learning how to do the task for myself, it is the only way I can be sure I can fulfill my ideas, my dreams, and my goals of where I want to perform. Read this book with me and we both will learn and get what we want.”

—Jay Clayton, jazz vocalist and educator, New York

“When my patients ask me questions I am able to individualize their treatment plans and tailor my expertise to their needs. In the end we both succeed.”

—Dr. Pamela A. Charles, chiropractic neurologist, New York

“Laura is the wizard of strategic fundraising, and this is a guidebook for all of us to use in everyday matters, whether it’s asking for a raise or negotiating with our partner. Seasoned executives as well as newbies in the business world will benefit from this compendium on how to get what you want out of life—just by asking.”

—Donna Weaver, founder, WeaverWorks, Yardley, Pennsylvania; formerly a corporate communications executive in the apparel industry

“This book is a clear road map for initiating and making the ask in the not-for-profit and business sectors. As the president of an executive recruitment firm, I see this book as an invaluable resource for planning your career and landing your best job.”

—Gail L. Freeman, president, Freeman Philanthropic Services, New York

Copyright © 2010 by Laura Fredricks. All rights reserved.

Published by Jossey-Bass A Wiley Imprint 989 Market Street, San Francisco, CA 94103-1741—www.josseybass.com

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Fredricks, Laura.

The ask : how to ask for support for your nonprofit cause, creative project, or business venture / Laura Fredricks.

p. cm.

Includes index.

eISBN : 978-0-470-57287-0

1. Fund raising. 2. Nonprofit organizations—Management. I. Title.

HG177.F68 2010

658.15’ 224—dc22

2009041328

HB Printing

Foreword

IT’S SURPRISING HOW SIMPLE THE FORMULA for success is when you boil it down to its basic elements. You have to know your objectives, think through all the details, have a plan for action, follow through, and follow up. What’s more surprising is how elusive these simple principles are in real life, usually because people simply don’t know how to ask for what they want and deserve.

Laura Fredricks knows how to ask. I watched her put her methods into action at Pace University, where I sit on the Board of Trustees, in running a major capital campaign. More important for the readers of this book, she knows how to coach others to get the results they want. Her strategies for success apply equally to the business and the nonprofit world, the institutional and the personal spheres, and this book translates those strategies into concrete advice about how to turn your goals into action, no matter what the setting.

Ivan G. SeidenbergChairman and Chief Executive OfficerVerizon

I dedicate this book to everyone who needs to ask for anything they want.

Preface

ASKING IS A PART OF EVERY ASPECT OF OUR lives. It should be as natural as walking, having an enjoyable conversation, smiling, and breathing . . . but I know for many of you it is the one thing you dread the most.

During my wonderful experience of speaking and training people on how to ask, using all the tools laid out in the first book, The ASK: How to Ask Anyone for Any Amount for Any Purpose, it became crystal clear that in addition to learning how to ask for money to support a nonprofit, hundreds of people asked me if the same principles apply if you are asking for money for a creative project; asking for advice; asking for a promotion, raise, new job title; asking for feedback—in short . . . asking for everyday living. Well, this new book will cover it all, from nonprofits that need restricted and unrestricted money, to businesses that need their sales and marketing forces to craft their asks to achieve enhanced sales, to the individual who has dreams, goals, and a strong desire to have the best and most fulfilling personal and professional life possible, with the help of a little financial backing, of course.

The uniqueness of this book is that it will show that there is much to be learned about how to ask in the nonprofit sector, the business sector, and the everyday living sector. By that I mean that so often board members drop the expertise and skills they use in their businesses when they attend a charity board meeting. Why? We have so much to learn in the nonprofit world from their skills and expertise that can help us be more business-like in approaching select donors. Conversely, the business sector can learn a great deal from how fundraisers identify, cultivate, and ask donors (clients in the business world), for money, for an opportunity to invest in the nonprofit and all the satisfying rewards that go along with establishing and solidifying long-term relationships. What boggles my mind is seeing and hearing how many people, regardless of whether they are in the nonprofit or business sector, who cannot ask for something that is important and personal, such as medical advice; a raise; a promotion; or financial support for an independent film, a new play, a concert, or art exhibit, because they are afraid of rejection, afraid of offending someone, and most importantly, afraid to examine their views on money and what emotions that brings up for them.

This book will be the bridge across all these sectors that will make asking for anything easy, enjoyable, meaningful, and rewarding. As you can tell, I have written this book in an extremely conversational style, so that it is more inviting and enjoyable for you to learn. Trust me, I take any Ask extremely seriously and I am well aware that in certain circumstances you will need to work with challenging people during the Ask and that this takes time, focus, and dedication. This is why I have organized the book in a very logical and progressive fashion so that you can follow along and experience the sequence of steps that need to be taken before, during, and after the Ask.

If you believe that you and your organization are worthy of the vital resources you need to be successful, read on and feel confident that you will learn how to ask for what you need and deserve.

Acknowledgments

THIS IS GOING TO BE VERY SIMPLE AND VERY honest. I simply and honestly want to thank everyone who has ever hired me to speak and everyone who came to hear me speak. I see your faces, I read your expressions, I hear your questions and remember all of you. For some reason I was born with a photographic memory and I can remember every conversation. (This can be a blessing or a curse—I choose the former!) Without this richness of thought, your participation, your brutal honesty about your challenges, I could not have written to the depth that I hope to have accomplished in this book.

As a dear friend, Patti German, said to me while she was encouraging me to travel and not finish the book until I completed my travels, it was important to listen, to spend time wherever I was speaking, and most importantly to “stay in the second and absorb.” Only then could I “Write with a different lens.” As I write this book I sincerely hope you know how much I appreciate every one of you opening up your schedules, your homes, your families, your back-yards, your tours of your communities, and sharing You. I do hope in some significant way I can pay each and every one of you back with this book.

Introduction

ASKING IS SUCH AN ESSENTIAL AND FUNDAMENTALLY IMPORTANT part of anyone’s everyday life. Whether you do this for a living as a professional fundraiser for a nonprofit organization; need to do this as a leader or volunteer for the organization; want to do this to support your creative or business venture; or have to learn how to ask for yourself, it is all about how you ask, the right way and with the right steps, that makes all the difference between getting a shake of the head and a “no” and a nod of the head and a “yes.”

This book will walk you through all the steps you need to take in the right order with the right people and the right follow-up so you will see that no matter what you ask for, there is a system. It takes organization, focus, discipline, passion, humor, and most of all a true belief that with your dedication you will make the best Ask possible, which is just as rewarding as getting a “yes” to your Ask.

WHO SHOULD READ THIS BOOK

It would be very easy for me to say everyone should read this book because at some point in time everyone will want to know how they can make the most persuasive and convincing presentation with each and every Ask. In that light, I think everyone will gain a new and special knowledge and will walk away with practical advice and a clear and concise road map on how to make any Ask. There are three particular groups of people that I think would gain the most from reading and applying this book:

1. Anyone who needs to ask on behalf of a nonprofit

• Fundraisers: development officers and directors, annual giving directors and officers, major and planned giving officers, leadership gifts officers and directors, stewardship gifts officers and directors

• Top administrators: president, chief executive officer, chief financial officer, vice president, vice chancellor, provost, chief medical officer, pastor, priest, and rabbi

• Board and committee members

• Donors and volunteers

• People who are employed by a nonprofit: office managers; program officers; executive assistants; administrative assistants; human resources, accounting, and finance officers

• Anyone who wants to learn how to fundraise

It is my belief that anyone involved with a nonprofit, regardless of whether it is a primary, part-time, or volunteer position, needs to know how to ask for money. It is easy to see why fundraisers need to know, but now more than ever leadership and volunteers really need the coaching, training, and practical experience in asking for money. Particularly when economic times are challenging, it takes the entire team within the organization to raise money given the scarce resources available. Oftentimes it is the administrative or executive assistant, a former patient, or a volunteer who comes forth and identifies some “new prospective” people who may want to be further engaged in the organization and have the capacity, with the right cultivation, to be a strong supporter. They should not just provide the name and walk away, because their connections to these people is how it all got started. They need to be involved with the cultivation process and oftentimes present during the Ask, so they need to know how to ask.

There are many people who have the desire to learn how to fundraise, which means they need to know how to ask for money. No matter which organization you envision you may want to help—small, medium, large, local, national, international, or if you want to start your own foundation—this book can help you raise the money you need for your organization.

2. Anyone who needs money for a creative project or a business venture

• Independent film producer

• Playwright

• Art collector

• Music producer

• Future small business owner

• Current company that wants to expand

• Inventor of new products

• Venture capitalist looking for other investors

Here, the possibilities are endless for the people in creative fields and business worlds, whether they are just starting out or want to expand their current enterprise. What separates this book from others is the following tip: asking for a creative or business venture is exactly the same as asking for a gift for a nonprofit organization. This book will show you how all the steps are exactly parallel and that if you take the time as is normally done in the nonprofit world to cultivate the people you would like to ask, have a solid and convincing business plan (case statements for nonprofits), deliver a solid Ask for a specific amount for a specific purpose, listen, and follow up using creative ways to reach the person, you will make the perfect Ask. Skipping any of the steps and then running to the next potential customer, client, or investor will yield you slim to no positive results.

3. Anyone who needs to ask for themselves

I could list the universe here and still have room to add more people! Every day we find ourselves in the position of needing to ask for something. I have seen the most seasoned fundraisers forget all their skills in asking people for money when it comes down to asking for something for themselves, like a raise, promotion, new job title, new office, or a relocation. In nonprofit board meetings I have seen brilliant minds shut down and not offer their expertise or years of experience because they think nonprofit and for-profit skills are different. Many patients do not know how to ask their doctors for medical advice. Many small business owners do not know how to ask for a loan. Many creative artists do not know how to ask friends, relatives, colleagues, or new contacts to invest in their creative venture. As with businesses learning from nonprofits how to ask, anyone who needs to ask for themselves should also learn the right way to ask . . . and it is all here in this book.

HOW THE BOOK IS ORGANIZED

As stated above, there is a real method, organization, and key steps to take before, during, and after the Ask. Each chapter is your stepping stone to the next level so I highly recommend that you read this book from start to finish. That said, it is jam-packed with sample dialogs you can use and adapt to your own situation. The dialogs are there to serve as examples you can practice with and go over and over at a later time, but I still highly recommend you read the book as you would the first section of a newspaper—front to back. Then the logic of the Ask and the follow-up to the Ask will make much more sense. More importantly you will find that it is not as time-consuming to make an Ask if you see it in this progression, rather than jumping in between the parts.

The book is divided into two parts. Part I is all the preparation you need to do prior to the Ask. Part II includes sample dialogs in asking for a nonprofit, a creative or business venture, and for yourself. It also covers how to handle responses to your Ask, the all-important “follow-through” with each Ask, and what to do when you receive a “no” or a “yes” to your Ask.

Throughout this book is a golden thread I have called “10 Things to Know About Any Ask” as well as exercises to do; each chapter has one of each. There is a lot of information and practical advice provided in these two features.

The book begins in Chapter 1 with a very important question: “What does money mean to you and why do you hesitate to ask?” Before anyone can ask for money they should know what money means to them. It can range from what you have to what you do not have, what you want, and what you cannot afford. I have found that people who can come to grips with answering this question and feeling comfortable with it make very good askers. As important as knowing your own views on money, you need to know the views of the person you want to ask. This chapter will provide some suggested ways you can get that answer by using open-ended, non-threatening questions. Perhaps the most popular reason why people fear, hesitate, and resist asking for money is that they do not want to feel rejected and a whole host of other negative factors. This chapter walks the reader through ways to overcome those fears.

Next, Chapter 2 details the importance of having a plan. Before you ask you have to have a well-defined case statement if asking for a charitable gift, or business plan if asking for a creative or business venture. Now more than ever people want all the details about what you are asking them to support. If you are shaky on the facts or future of your organization or even shaky about why you think you deserve what you are asking for yourself, the person you asked will not feel very confident and will likely give you a “no” to your Ask. This chapter will demonstrate all the essential elements to any Ask—emphasizing the importance of scripting out the Ask, sticking to the Ask time frame, making the transitional phase from small talk to the Ask, making the Ask, then staying silent. It will conclude with a three-step method on how anyone can be prepared for any Ask.

One of the hardest questions to answer is: when is the right time to ask? Chapter 3 will first explore how you can find the right people to ask and then conduct some research to ensure that you are prioritizing your pool of people to ask so that you are working with the best people first. It will also reveal my Readiness Formula that one can use when gauging when to ask. This formula has helped me throughout the years and can be a good litmus test for knowing when to ask.

Once we know who to ask and when to ask, the next issues to be resolved are who should make the Ask and what is the best setting for the Ask, which are covered in Chapter 4. In many instances you will be doing the Ask but if you work for a larger organization or any organization that has a president, board, volunteers, and other supporters, the question of who should ask becomes more complicated. The first rule is that anyone who asks must know the person being asked well and should have been part of the cultivation process. The second rule is that the larger the Ask, the more someone in a leadership role or someone who made a comparable investment and who knows the person being asked should be part of the Ask. This chapter explains these two concepts as well as the importance of one’s appearance and body language during the Ask.

Chapter 5 is filled with sample dialogs you can use and adapt for your own purposes. This chapter explores asking for an increase in the annual fund and an increased gift to the endowment. It also shows how to ask for a large capital campaign gift and a larger gift from a board member. Each line of the sample dialogs is studied for ways to improve by using different words, positioning the topics in a certain order, and sticking to the script.

Chapter 6 applies everything in asking for a charitable gift to asking for yourself. So many of us separate our professional lives from our personal lives that we forget to use the skills and knowledge we have when asking for things for ourselves such as a job, a new job title, a raise, or money for a creative project or business venture. Once you read through this chapter I think you will be convinced that with all the preparation work in the previous chapters, these very important “everyday living” Asks will go much smoother and you will feel much more confident in your word selection and your delivery of your Ask.

Doing the Ask may be the most nerve-wracking part but waiting to hear the response to the Ask is the second most nerve-wracking part. Chapter 7 will prepare you to anticipate any response you may receive and will provide suggestions for addressing those responses. Only through preparation and anticipation of the person’s response can any asker feel fully confident about answering the response. This chapter also suggests ways to best prepare for the person’s response so that the conversation remains upbeat, the dialog flows smoothly, and there are few surprises or unanticipated responses. The responses and suggestions in Chapter 7 apply to any Ask.

Chapter 8 is perhaps one of the most important chapters in the book. As you will see in this book, your Ask and the activities leading up to the Ask account for 25 percent of your time; the follow-up is 75 percent. Why so much time? Because the most common response to your Ask will be “I’ll have to think about it.” “Thinking about it” can take weeks, months, and sometimes years! This is why you need the tools set forth in this chapter to give you a variety of ways with a variety of people to follow up with each Ask so that it does not get monotonous or boring. There is a system, a timeline, and some solid steps you can take after each Ask that will ensure you receive the answer to your Ask within a reasonable time.

Chapter 9 I call my bipolar chapter because it addresses when the answer is “no” and when the answer is “yes.” Naturally, everyone wants to hear a “yes” but you will receive “no’s” along the way. This chapter addresses first the more unpleasant response, the “no.” But I think you will be surprised and less deflated when you see how this chapter illustrates how “no now does not mean no later.” With the right next steps you can pave your way to return at a later time and revisit your Ask. On a much more pleasant note, when the answer is “yes” it is a time to feel really good about yourself, your organization, and the people who will benefit from your hard and persistent work. However, there is more work to be done after that wonderful, positive answer, which we call “stewardship.” If you follow the stewardship techniques that this chapter outlines, there will be a very strong probability that the person or persons who gave you a “yes” will want to do more for you and your organization or business and you will have a very loyal giver and investor.

Chapter 10 pulls it all together, providing the highlights to each chapter. It also recounts the “10 Things to Know About Any Ask” and gives the last and final exercise to do.

As an added bonus for the readers you will find a nice selection of resources and references online at www.josseybass.com/go/laurafredricks. The resources include sample case statements and business plans as well as references of books and online sites you can use to create your own case statement or business plan. Resources also include fundraising software, prospect research, and wealth screening companies that you may wish to use for your organization’s fundraising plan. Lastly, the online references provide books, articles, and Web sites that I used as research for some of the content and concepts in this book.

It is my hope, my dream, and my desire that after you read this book you will see how asking is a logical and organized process, with a timeline and measurable steps to take. More importantly, I hope that you experience a sense of self-confidence, a willingness to empower others who work with or around you to make the Asks for what you need and deserve!

PART I

What Do I Need to Know Before I Ask?

CHAPTER 1

What Money Means to You and Why Ask?

PERHAPS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART ABOUT asking for money is understanding your views on money. Note that I said your views, not how the person you are asking for money feels about money. So often we skip this very important step and dive right into identifying and learning as much as we can about the person or people we want to ask for money that we forget about getting in touch with our own feelings about money.

In this chapter I will go through the important exercise of exploring what money means to the asker because it is often the deciding factor between those who can ask easily and those who find it extremely difficult to ask. This is a very important psychological exercise that anyone asking for money needs to experience. It is essential that we explore our own values of what money means to us, and as importantly, why we feel we deserve to get what we ask for. This feeds directly into why many people hesitate and fear to make an Ask. This chapter will detail the most obvious reason why people hesitate and fear to make an Ask and will provide some creative solutions to overcome those negative factors that prevent an Ask.

WHAT DOES MONEY MEAN TO YOU?

The topic of money is almost certain to open a floodgate, releasing emotionally charged memories for many of us. Just say the word “money” and a series of visual images come to mind, ranging from childhood memories of the choices that had to be made within the family, to the current time and how one lives. I always open my training sessions with the question “What does money mean to you?” The surprised looks on many people’s faces say to me “Why does it matter?” It matters because if you have a positive attitude and outlook about money, then you know the positive transformational power it can bring to deserving individuals and causes, and it makes the Ask go smoothly. If money is viewed in negative terms, it becomes much more difficult during the Ask because these negative feelings can sabotage an Ask or make it extremely uncomfortable and unnatural when asking for money.

Here are some of the responses I received when asking people who want to learn how to ask others for money what money means to them:

Power

Freedom

Choices

Change

Opportunity

Selection

Control

Independence

Education

Security

Responsibility

Giving

Love

Peace of mind

These are all very emotionally laden terms, and in preparing to ask for money, they do surface in the mind of the asker. I do not mean to suggest that if you grew up in a wealthy and comfortable household and money was never a problem, asking for money will be an easy task. This is not an issue of whether you grew up or currently possess an abundance, moderation, or lack of money. However, it is important to think about what money means to you right now.

Money can mean the following:

• It can define your stature in life.

• It can determine your success.

• It can be why you need to work and why you work where you do.

• It can determine when and if you can retire.

• It can set the parameters of what you can give to your loved ones now or in the future.

• It can make you reflect on whether you made the right choices in life.

• It can govern how much you can borrow.

• It can govern how much you will inherit.

• It can determine what and how much you can buy.

• It can govern what you do in your free time.

• It can determine where and how you live.

• It can be a factor in your selection of health care coverage.

• It can narrow, widen, or obliterate your vacation plans.

• It can play a positive or negative role in your relations with friends, colleagues, and business partners.

• It can influence other personal relationships.

• It can motivate you to be like others or to have similar things and similar lifestyles.

• It can govern how much you save.

• It can govern how much you can invest.

• It can govern how much you need to take out of your savings and investments to live.

• It can be a positive motivational factor in your life.

• It can determine how much you can give to charity.

• It can be a most stressful topic of conversation.

In short, money affects every aspect of your life, which is why it is so important to come to terms with how you feel about money and how it may influence your comfort level in asking for money.

On that note here is the first exercise:

Exercise #1: Write your own list of what money means to you and whether those feelings would help or hinder your ability to ask for money.

Another very important issue to explore for any asker is “What is your first memory of when you knew it was important to give back and help those people or organizations in need?” I like to ask this question because everyone has a unique story to share about the first time they gave money or raised money. All too often fundraisers do not share enough about themselves personally with donors or those who have the capacity to support a cause or a business venture, and these stories tell a great deal about the character, integrity, and warmth fundraisers have regarding their professions. Since I asked you about your first memory, I shall share mine.

I was in sixth grade, at St. Matthews, Ridgefield, New Jersey, in Sister Mary Rita’s class. As with any Catholic grammar school, we sat miserably in alphabetical order (for six years Michael Fick sat in front of me and Carol Grinner sat in back of me!). Sister Mary Rita told us that, tragically, a church had burned down in Newark, luckily no one was hurt, and that we were to do “all that we can” to help raise money to help rebuild the church. Welcome to your first capital campaign, Laura. Sister told us that the eighth grade already raised $62. This was sounding more and more like a challenge grant to me now. The person who raised the most money would receive something that was blessed by the Pope and it would have gold. Now to a sixth grader, if it was blessed by the Pope, this would surely be our “ticket to heaven,” and if it had gold in it, then it must be as big and blinding as the largest crucifix possible.

I had the bright idea of walking dogs to raise money. In sixth grade, I was all of four feet, two inches. I probably should have quit while I was ahead. I put a notice up in our local grocery store called the Co-op that said “will walk your dog for 25 cents” with my telephone number. I think I am really dating myself now. A short while later I received a telephone call from a distant neighbor who told me to come right away. I jumped on my green Sting-Ray bicycle with a leopard-skin banana seat (I thought I was very cool back then) and went to his home. I put the bicycle down and the neighbor opened the door. The only thing separating me from death was a screen door because there stood not one, but three Doberman pinschers, much larger than me and quite eager to go outside. I negotiated with him that it would be 25 cents per dog, and knew from that minute on I would be a very good attorney and sharp businesswoman some day.

After a few weeks of this dog-walking activity, I went to school with tons of quarters from my afterschool job of dog walking. Sister Mary Rita called us up one by one and of course counted what each of us had raised. You guessed it, I had won the prize. It was a pink plaque, with a postage-size “gold” inlay of Jesus. I sincerely hope it was blessed by the Pope at that time because I still have the prize and I am still very much counting on it to be my “ticket to heaven.” Many years later, here I am writing about how to ask for money. I firmly believe it all began way back then raising money for that church that burned down and all of us at St. Matthews and beyond who helped to rebuild the church and the community.

I share this story with you because each of you has one just like it. First and foremost, these stories are classic, touching, engaging, and it should fill you with confidence that you have wanted to help those in need for a very long time. Second, when and if appropriate, do share your story with those people that you are cultivating and asking for support. The more you share of yourself, the closer they are connected to you and the faster trust and a lasting personal relationship will be formed. Third, it makes the fundraising process so much more enjoyable. Why should you know everything about the people who may support you, your cause, or your business if they do not know your values, your dedication, your commitment, and your inspiration to raise money.

10 Things to Know About Any Ask—#1

Know your views on money and the importance of raising money before you ask for money.

WHY DO YOU HESITATE TO ASK?

It is extremely common and in some instances very easy to put off the Ask but it is very important to understand why people fear or hesitate to make the Ask. Exhibit 1.1 is a list of the common issues that can get in the way of the Ask. It is by no means exhaustive, but it does reflect the major reasons why people hesitate to ask.

EXHIBIT 1.1.Reasons Why People Hesitate to Ask.

Looking over this list in Exhibit 1.1, you will notice that some common themes pop up. The first theme is fear of not knowing the person you are asking for money well enough before making the Ask. The second is learning what makes one’s organization or cause so special that people would elect to support it over other groups. The third is understanding why people would part with their money and having the confidence in making the Ask. The fourth is letting external forces and perceived internal problems postpone the Ask for a future time.

Identifying the most common fears and hesitations, as we have just done, is the first hurdle. Now we need to explore what we can do about them. The following are concrete solutions and exercises you can use to “get beyond” the psychological barriers that can make any asker worry himself or herself out of making the Ask.

Know the Person You Are Asking Before You Make the Ask

Essential to your success is knowing as much as you can about the person before making the Ask. Not knowing how the person was raised and the role that money played in that person’s upbringing can make anyone hesitate to ask for money. People’s views on money begin at home. How they were raised and the era in which they were raised can be the most important factors influencing their philanthropic giving. People who grew up during World Wars I and II or who lived through the stock market crash of 1929 often have “cautious spending habits” and hence a need to save (Nichols 2001, 43). Even though they may give to a charity, their priority is to save money so that everyone can be taken care of if something happens. People who are extremely religious are likely to tell you that they have always been taught to “give back” and “to help others in need.” To them, giving is natural, it is expected, and they want to help others in any way they can. As long as they have the means to do so, they are more than willing to lend a hand to those less fortunate. If someone’s parents, extended family members, mentors, colleagues, peers, or friends have supported a charity or several charities, there is a strong likelihood that this tradition will have been passed along, shared, and encouraged.

Conversely, people who have experienced major investments and economic losses such as the economic downturn that started in the fall of 2008, technology stocks and the dotcom fall of 2000 and 2001, or loss of a job at any time are likely to tell you that they need lots of time to recoup losses before considering giving money to a worthy cause or project. Such reasons illustrate that understanding how and when a person was raised can give you a greater insight into his views on money. This chapter opened with examining the asker’s views on money; now it is time to learn about views of the person that you want to approach.

You find out people’s views on money and how they were raised during the cultivation stages. Cultivation is everything you do up to the Ask (see Exhibit 1.2). It is the series of meetings, events, conversations, and exchanges of correspondence you have with the people you will eventually ask for money. This is the time when you really get to know these people, and in turn they build a long and lasting trust with you and with the organization’s leaders and volunteers, or the business’ executives and staff. Cultivation is essential before any Ask. While you are sharing information with the people you want to ask for money about your organization and business, its mission, goals, plan, leaders, finances, volunteers, and beneficiaries, you also have the golden opportunity to see, hear, and witness their lifestyle choices. You will know, for example, why they feel they are crusaders for controversial causes; why they sent their daughter or son to a certain school; where and when they vacation; how important religion is to them and their family; why they chose to have or not to have a family; why or why not it is important to volunteer for military duty; how they selected their career path; the importance and value of their cars, homes, second homes, and boats they have selected; how and why they volunteer; which charities they support; and why supporting your creative idea fulfills a dream for them. These things unfold naturally over time if you and others from your organization are passionate and diligent in building relationships with potential funders.

EXHIBIT 1.2.20 Cultivation Techniques.

Notice I emphasized number 10. I believe by far this is the greatest, most effective and efficient way to cultivate people to ask for money because it makes them feel special, selective, an insider, and very close to the top leaders and supporters of the organization. If you have a strong, likeable, and charismatic leader for your organization, I strongly suggest that you have her or him host a series of these small, intimate gatherings and follow through with each person as set forth in Chapter 8. This by no means suggests that the other 19 cultivation techniques in Exhibit 1.2 are not important and effective. It is just in my experience, particularly with groups with limited resources, that this is the best cultivation technique.

The easiest way to find out someone’s views on money is to ask open-ended questions during cultivation such as the following:

“Dan, of all the charities you could support, why do you support us?”

“Kyra, how did you first find out about us and what are you most interested in about our organization?”

I sometimes think that we do what I call “fill in the blank” fundraising, that is, we assume we know why someone would want to support the organization or business venture. That can be a dangerous path because when you assume you know why the person may be interested in your organization it starts to become a self-fulfilling prophecy and you can waste precious time and resources cultivating a person towards a particular project, program, or idea when in fact their interests and motivation can be completely different from what you had in mind. Take the time to ask these simple open-ended questions and listen carefully, with full eye-contact, to what the person says. Then and only then will you have the accurate information you need to cultivate the person in the direction of their interest, and you will be that much closer to making the right Ask.

Every Organization Has Its Own Charm

There are over 1.9 million registered charities in the United States (Independent Sector, Nov 7, 2008) and over 78,000 registered charities in Canada (Charity.com, 2008). All these groups are raising money for worthy causes—preserving wildlife, assisting people with handicaps, increasing literacy, reducing homelessness, improving child care, supporting international causes, funding the performing arts, improving education, making health care accessible, promoting research, and defending the environment, to name only a few.

With so many groups to support, fundraisers may wonder why someone would want to support one group over another. Generally, people who have this concern are brand-new to the field, just taking their first plunge into the fundraising pool. The answer to this question is that every organization has what I call its unique charm. It has something that separates it from all the other nonprofit groups and that draws in donors, volunteers, leaders, fundraisers, and administrators like a magnet. It could be that a certain group is taking care of the homeless in a select section of the city, that a theater conducts monthly workshops for children after school hours, or that the rivers are free from waste because a group successfully lobbied local government. Sometimes it is leadership that provides the magic, turning a group from nothing to a huge success. More often than not, it is the select group of beneficiaries the organization serves that makes the group unique and worthy of tremendous support.

Anyone who has concerns that the vast universe of causes might hinder any Ask should remember the following. As the asker, you, in your heart of hearts, must believe in the mission of your organization, be dedicated to speaking on your organization’s behalf, be proactive and tenacious for the cause, and most of all, have faith in the organization, even when circumstances, whether within or outside your control, may be challenging. Your commitment to the group must be clearly demonstrated in every conversation and interaction you have with the person you are going to ask for money. If you believe in your group and the person has an initial inclination or strong desire to learn more about that group, then you are halfway there. In time your positive energy will convince the person being asked that, yes, your group is unique, that its charm is different from all the rest, and best of all, that giving, early and often, to this sensational organization is an opportunity not to be missed.

In businesses, the uniqueness comes from the idea, concept, and vision of what you do that no one else thought of and no one else is doing. Even if you want to launch a new play, get a patent on the best invention, or develop software that will make a company highly competitive, you should be able to distinguish yourself from all the rest. The key is to come up with three ways you have something that no one else has, or you can deliver something no one else can, or you do it better, with more personal care and customer satisfaction than the competition. You will hear me reiterate this theme over and over in this book—that for-profit organizations and nonprofits share a commonality to be unique, to provide “customer-” and “donor-” friendly service and attention, which all translates into long-lasting relationships and financial support.

People Like to Give Money

As important as it is to know how and when a person was raised, his or her views on money, and why your organization is so important to him or her, it is also important to know why someone would part with hard-earned money. Exhibit 1.3 lists several main reasons that people give.

EXHIBIT 1.3.Reasons Why People Give.

In my experience, most people who give when asked in person do so almost instinctively. It is part of who they are and how they live. They want to make their world a better place for generations to come. People also give because they have a strong interest in sharing. Sharing feels good and makes us feel less selfish and self-focused. How people have been raised governs not only their views on money but whether and when they feel a need to help those less fortunate. Many people I have had the pleasure of working with have always given something, beginning early in life with their religious institutions and then focusing on a handful of groups that mirror their beliefs. Others began giving as a result of a persuasive direct-mail campaign. Yet others have witnessed grave injustice, poverty, or illness that has motivated them to take action.

People give because they reach a point in their lives where they have the assets to give back and it will not impede their lifestyle. Their cushion of comfort makes it possible to support a nonprofit group or groups in a significant way. They saved and planned, and it just took the right time to trigger the gift. Sometimes a gift is spurred by an unexpected windfall, such as winning the lottery, getting a case settlement, or making a superior investment. This over-the-top increase in their personal wealth makes it possible for them to give effortlessly. Giving can also be triggered by a sudden, life-transforming experience, either for the person himself or herself or for a loved one. Anyone who has fundraised for a hospital in particular knows the truth of this statement. Many grateful patients give back because a special doctor, nurse, or ambulance team saved their lives or the life of a loved one.

Fundraisers also cannot rule out emulation theory: some people give because they want to be like someone else or, possibly, want to be perceived as having the assets and lifestyle of a prominent person. These folks will give at a certain level so they can be thought to be as prestigious or charitable as a noted and well-respected peer. This elevates their status in the community, particularly when the gift includes a large naming opportunity. This motivation makes people happy to give because it puts them on an even playing field with some prestigious people. May you have many of these people to ask!

Many times when we ask people for money we say the money will be “an investment” so that the organization can have the present and future means to be in existence; or in the business setting, someone believes that with this financial backing a play can be launched, a new patent can be the greatest new invention, or a new company can be formed that has its own unique place in the industry. These are all attractive, appealing, and highly desirable reasons why people want to “invest,” not “part” with, their money.