The Cycle of the Gift E-Book

James E. Hughes

• Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
• Kategorie: Fachliteratur
• Serie: Bloomberg
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 234

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2012

Beschreibung

A comprehensive guide to giving well to family members

Giving is at the core of family life--and with current law allowing up to $5,120,000 in tax-free gifts, at least through December 2012, the ultra-affluent are faced with the task of giving at perhaps largest scale in history. Beyond the tax saving and wealth management implications, giving to family members opens up a slew of thorny questions, the biggest of which is, "How do I prepare recipients of such large gifts?" With that question and others in mind, Hughes, Massenzio, and Whitaker have written The Cycle of the Gift in three main parts: "The Who of Giving," "The How of Giving," and "The What and Why of Giving." The first part focuses on the people most deeply involved in family giving, especially the recipients and givers (parents, grandparents, spouses, trustees). The second part, "The How of Giving," addresses the delicate balance of givers who want to maintain some level of control and recipients who want some level of freedom in accepting and growing their gifts. The final part, "The What and Why of Giving" describes various types of gifts, from money to business interests to values and rituals. The authors also introduce their "family bank" concept as a model that combines loans, trusts, and outright gifts. It embodies a framework and set of practices for long-term family growth. Even families without great wealth--or those who have already made large gifts to their children and grandchilren--can benefit from the human wisdom and practical advice found in The Cycle of the Gift.

Leseprobe

Contents

Preface

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Chapter 1: The Elephant in the Room

Grandparents’ Checks

When Giving Becomes an Opportunity

Chapter 2: The Spirit of the Gift

Where the Spirit Leads

The Who of Giving

Chapter 3: Becoming a Wise Giver

Know Thyself

How Much?

Guilt and Remorse

Nothing Too Much

Chapter 4: Receiving Wisely

A Bad Investment?

The Psychological Stages of Giving

Giving and the Work Ethic

Not Yet

Meteors and Resilience

Investing in Recipients

Chapter 5: Spouses

Learning from Yourselves and Each Other

Three-Step Process

Blended Families

Prenuptial Discussions

Fiscal Unequals

Chapter 6: Grandparents

Grandparents’ Great Opportunity

Involving Parents

Grandparents and Philanthropy

Chapter 7: Trustees

The Choice of Trustee

The Type of Trustee

The Relationship between Beneficiary and Trustee

A Regenerative Role

Chapter 8: Elders

Intergenerational Dynamics

Growing Elders

The Work of Elders

The How of Giving

Chapter 9: Control versus Freedom

The Myth of the Free Gift

Cui Bono?

The Giving of Accounts

Letting Be

Chapter 10: Fair versus Equal, Separate versus Together

The Balancing Act

Pot Shots

Flourishing

Promises

Chapter 11: Giving Outright, via Loans, or in Trust?

Options

Sharing the Spirit

Making Loans Work

Why Trusts?

The Family Bank

Form versus Function

The What and Why of Giving

Chapter 12: What Families Give

Homes

Business Interests

Values

Rituals

Reputation

Chapter 13: The Why of Giving

Why Not

The Family Tree

Giving Thanks

About the Authors

Index

Praise forThe Cycle of the Gift

“From abundance to ‘affluenza’—how often families unwittingly create what they most dread! A generous spirit and crystal-clear values are the foundation that protect a family from spiraling into dysfunction and entitlement. The Cycle of the Gift is the perfect blueprint for those who wish their giving to be a true gift.”

—Charlotte B. Beyer, Founder & Former CEO, Institute for Private Investors, Investor Education Collaborative

“This is a remarkable book. It truly helps illuminate the issues and breakthrough conversations that families can have around giving to their children and grandchildren.”

—Charles W. Collier, Former Senior Philanthropic Advisor, Harvard University

“The authors have given the reader much to consider—the spirit of giving, the desired effect when making gifts, and the function of the gift over the form. Like Family Wealth, this book puts a spotlight on the most important questions for family members to contemplate when making gifts and offers the potential for completely different outcomes from the experience. If you read this book, you will not have to ask, ‘how much is enough?’”

—Sara Hamilton, Founder and CEO, Family Office Exchange

“With thoughtfulness and clarity based on a multi-discipline collaboration of considerable expertise, Jay Hughes, Susan Massenzio and Keith Whitaker challenge readers to mindfully consider the dynamics which occur between a gift giver and the recipient. The Cycle of the Gift is an invaluable resource for both individuals and the advisory community so that the ‘spirit of the gift’ is one that will enable the receiver to integrate it in a manner which will contribute to self-actualization and flourishing.”

—Dr. Lee Hausner, Managing Director, First Foundation Advisors

“The Cycle of the Gift: Family Wealth and Wisdom is a must read for affluent families. It deals with one of the most difficult and profound issues: how much should I give and what process should I follow? It provides powerful insights to help family members become mindful givers and receivers. The authors do a remarkable job of spotlighting the spiritual benefits a family can enjoy through giving. As the book so eloquently details, it is one thing to give but an entirely different activity to ensure the gift will have a positive impact on those who will benefit.”

—Mel Lagomasino, CEO, GenSpring Family Offices

“This extraordinary book is a gift. Its contribution is helping us understand the complete cycle of any gift. I was particularly touched by the dynamics between the giver and recipient, and how emotional and misunderstood it can be. The true gift of this book and of its writers is turning awkward situations and even pain . . . into joy!”

—Thomas R. Livergood, CEO, The Family Wealth Alliance

“The best learning comes when a book is able to take something that you do and consider important, and guide you to step back and look with fresh eyes to see how you are wasting opportunities and possibilities that are easily adopted. The Cycle of the Gift takes the process of giving, a foundation of all society, and takes us on a journey to understand its deeper nature. The core idea—that the act of delivering the gift is not complete in itself, but rather one that depends on deeper reflection on its intention, context, and communication to fulfill its purpose. The book is philosophical, taking us deeper, but also practical, with stories and clear actions, that will truly transform your relations with the people you care about.”

—Dennis Jaffe, Saybrook University

“These well-versed authors offer a golden blend of technically astute practical guidance and the foundational spiritual and classical knowledge of wisdom, discernment, and counsel.”

—Paul G. Schervish, Professor and Director of the Center on Wealth and Philanthropy at Boston College

“Families with wealth face a great and persistent challenge: how to give to children and grandchildren in ways that enhance their lives rather than creates dependency. The Cycle of the Gift faces this challenge squarely with sound and prudent counsel. If leaving a legacy is important to you, this is a must read.”

—James P. Steiner, President, Abbot Downing, a Wells Fargo Business

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Cover Design: Wendy Mount

Cover Image: © Mondadori Portfolio/UIG/Getty Images

Copyright © 2013 by James E. Hughes, Susan E. Massenzio, and Keith Whitaker.

Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey.

Published simultaneously in Canada.

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data:

Hughes, James E., Jr.

The cycle of the gift [electronic resource] : family wealth and wisdom / James E. Hughes, Susan E. Massenzio, Keith Whitaker.

1 online resource.

Includes index.

Description based on print version record and CIP data provided by publisher; resource not viewed.

ISBN 978-1-118-48759-4 (cloth); ISBN 978-1-118-48837-9 (ebk);

ISBN 978-1-118-48834-8 (ebk); ISBN 978-1-118-48836-2 (ebk)

1. Families. 2. Wealth. 3. Families—Economic aspects. 4. Estate planning. I. Massenzio, Susan E. II. Whitaker, Albert Keith. III. Title.

HQ734

306.85—dc23

2012033837

To Peter Karoff, whose gift to me of his question “what about a family’s spiritual capital” inspired this book, thank you

To Jacqueline Merrill, who put her arm through mine, thank you.

—Jay Hughes

To my mother, whose spirit of giving and receiving well I have internalized. Thank you.

To my wonderful son, who teaches me how to give and receive wisely. Thank you. May you continue to flourish.

To Nancy Lundy and my dear friends: I treasure your gifts of friendship. Thank you.

To my family: thank you for being there.

—Susan Massenzio

To my family,

To my friends,

And to my loving partner, who is the greatest gift of all.

—Keith Whitaker

To Anne D’Andrea, the fourth author of this book: without your contributions to our collaboration this book would never have been born. Thank you.

—From all of us

The person who kindly guides another on his way,

Lights as it were another’s lantern from his own

Nor is his light the less for kindling the other.

—Cicero, On Duties

Preface

The Cycle of the Gift: Family Wealth and Wisdom invites you on a journey into the subject of giving within families. Before setting off, we want to offer a word about our own journey into this topic.

Every book has its precedents, and in this case the most important is our co-author Jay Hughes’s book Family Wealth: Keeping It in the Family. Writing that book brought Jay face-to-face with a question that he posed but did not answer: “Can a family succeed over the long term without a spiritual component at its core?” reflects on this question and is meant to fill the gap that acknowledged.