The Mommy Manifesto E-Book

Kim Lavine

• Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
• Kategorie: Fachliteratur
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 295

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2009

Beschreibung

It's time for a new women's revolution, but this time it's not political--it's personal. It's a time of historic opportunity. Learn what it takes to create the life of your dreams by starting your own business from your kitchen table, without compromising your job as a great mom. Find the money you need to start your business, then master the cutting-edge tools of social media to take it to the next level. With the American economy on the ropes, a New Economy is being created, and this time moms are in charge, controlling $8.5 trillion annually in consumer spending in a consumer economy that is in crisis. The rules of business are changing; master them and get rich. Learn powerful techniques to face down fear and push aside doubt, using newfound confidence to seize opportunities and get ahead. In The Mommy Manifesto, Kim Lavine--bestselling author of Mommy Millionaire--presents a provocative message of empowerment for all women, inspiring you to question the status quo and see new opportunities where none existed before. This is a manifesto for dreaming big, developing your confidence, and using your power and influence to create positive change--in yourself and our society. You're either part of the revolution, or you're part of the problem. The time is now to take control of your financial destiny! Kim Lavine, America's expert on inspirational business advice, will show you how in The Mommy Manifesto.

Leseprobe

Table of Contents

Title Page

Copyright Page

Dedication

Letter to the Reader

IT’S A HISTORIC TIME

Acknowledgements

Introduction

WHAT? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

NO WONDER WOMEN ARE STARTING BUSINESSES IN RECORD NUMBERS

BUT IT’S ONLY JUST BEGINNING!

OBVIOUSLY, THINGS NEED TO CHANGE!

IT’S THE ECONOMY, STUPID

BUT WAIT, IT GETS WORSE BEFORE IT GETS BETTER

THIS IS YOUR WAKE-UP CALL

WHAT’S HOLDING YOU BACK?

IN TIMES OF GREAT PERIL, COMES GREAT OPPORTUNITY

ALL GREAT JOURNEYS ARE BEGUN ON THE STRENGTH OF ONE INDIVIDUAL AND HIS FAITH

ARE SOME OF US OUR OWN WORST ENEMIES?

THE NEXT SHOE IS ABOUT TO DROP

LET’S BE OUR OWN CULTURAL ARBITERS

YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL

IT’S NO WONDER

REDEFINING SUCCESS

YOU’RE FABULOUS—NOW OWN IT!

CHAPTER 1 - How to Start a Revolution

MOM IS THE NEW SEXY

THIS ISN’T YOUR MOTHER’S MOTHER ANYMORE

IT’S A COMMUNICATION REVOLUTION, STUPID

THERE ISN’T ENOUGH MONEY IN THE WORLD TO BUY THIS

WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL?

CONTENT IS KING AND CONTACT IS QUEEN

JUST ONE MORE BALLS ANALOGY

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY REVOLUTIONARY

A WORD TO THE WISE

CHAPTER 2 - Shock and Awe

WOMEN ARE GOING BACKWARD!

SEXISM—THE LAST ACCEPTABLE FORM OF BIGOTRY

HOLD YOUR ANGER TO THE END

GOVERNMENT

WALL STREET

PRIVATE EQUITY

CORPORATE

WORKPLACE

ACADEMIC

HOLLYWOOD

FAMILY

MIND-BLOWING

CHAPTER 3 - Don’t Get Angry, Get Rich

SUCCESS IS THE BEST REVENGE

THIS ISN’T PERSONAL, IT’S BUSINESS

THE “F” WORD: FEMINIST

COMMERCIALIZE YOUR ANGER

THERE IS NO COURAGE WITHOUT VULNERABILITY

FOLLOW THE MONEY

YOU CAN ALWAYS TELL A LEADER BY THE ARROWS IN HER BACK

DON’T LET ANYBODY TELL YOU TO BE QUIET

I LOVE MEN

THE SECRET TO MY SUCCESS

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

ONLY THE GOOD SUCCEED

THE IMPORTANCE OF ATTITUDE

IT’S NOT POLITICAL, IT’S PERSONAL

OLDER WOMEN VERSUS YOUNGER WOMEN

THE PENALTY IS CHILDREN

TUNE IN, DROP OUT

BUT YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL

HOW DO YOU LIKE US NOW?

FIRST THE UNITED STATES, THEN THE WORLD

SHOW ME THE MONEY

CHAPTER 4 - The New Economy

RULES OF THE NEW ECONOMY

DON’T PANIC—REACT!

I’M DONE WITH THE PESSIMISM

GET YOUR SHARE!

RULE #1: EVERYTHING IS CHANGING—DON’T CONFUSE CHANGE WITH FEAR

RULE #2: PRIVATE EQUITY—THE NEW BANK

TOP 10 INDUSTRIES FUNDED BY ANGELS IN 2008

BUT DON’T STOP THERE

RULE #3: ENTREPRENEURS ARE THE NEW ROCK STARS

RULE #4: MOM IS THE NEW GREEN

RULE #5: SMALL IS THE NEW BIG

RULE #6: INNOVATE OR DIE

RULE #7: THE AMERICAN $$$ BRAND

RULE #8: GO BIG OR GO HOME

NEW ECONOMY RULE #9: THE ONLY THING WE HAVE TO FEAR IS FEAR ITSELF

RULE #10: WOMEN WILL NOT BE DENIED THEIR PLACE IN THE NEW ECONOMY

AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY REVOLUTION

IT’S A HISTORIC TIME, AND I’M TAKING MY PLACE IN HISTORY

CHAPTER 5 - Moms Are the New Geeks

MOMS ARE THE NEW GEEKS

BUT WHERE’S THE MONEY? SHOW ME THE MONEY

THE FICKLE GEEK

PERCEPTION IS REALITY—Not!

TIME-SHIFTERS

GAMING

GADGETS

WEB USERS

SUPER CONSUMERS

NEW MEDIA

NEW MEDIA MOGULS

SOCIAL MEDIA

SHOW ME THE WOMEN

THE MOBILE WEB

WOMEN TAKING OVER THE WORLD

THE BIGGEST TECHNOLOGICAL AND SOCIAL EVENT IN OUR LIFETIMES

IT’S A HISTORIC TIME

CHAPTER 6 - A New Society

THE GLOBAL GOOD

WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS, MEN ARE FROM MARS

YOU’RE IN THE MEDIA BUSINESS NOW

TWITTER

THE GOOD TWITTERER

TO FOLLOW OR NOT TO FOLLOW

TWITTER DO’S AND DON’TS

THIRD-PARTY APPLICATIONS

FACEBOOK

NING

BLOGGING FOR BUSINESS

EMARKETING 101

MOMS ARE KING

FREE WEB SITE/BLOG TOOLS/RESOURCES

CHAPTER 7 - A New Attitude

A NEW WAY OF THINKING

THE SECRET—NOT!

NO MORE BANDWIDTH FOR B.S.

NO TIME FOR SISSIES

IT’S A TIME OF ACTION, NOT THOUGHT

SCREW FEAR

SUCCESS IS FOR THE TAKING—NOT THE ASKING

THE “X” FACTOR

IT IS PERSONAL—AND IT’S BUSINESS

YOU’RE SHIZZNIT, FOSHIZZLE!

HOW SCREWED UP IS TOO SCREWED UP?

ABUSED AND HOMELESS

WHAT IS SUCCESS, ANYWAY?

FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS

ARE WE POOR MOM?

SUCCESS IS FREEDOM

SCREW FAILURE

NO SISSIES, NO COWARDS, NO COMPLAINERS, NO QUITTERS, ESPECIALLY NO QUITTERS

THE CRUCIBLE

THERE ARE NO ATHEISTS IN FOXHOLES

CHAPTER 8 - Screw Guilt, and Screw Balance, Too!

SCREW GUILT

YOU ARE NOT A MARTYR

I KNOW ABOUT GUILT

BACKWARD AND IN HIGH HEELS AND UNDERWATER

YOU’RE NOT PERFECT AND YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE

BEING IMPERFECT IS WORKING FOR ME

BURN DOWN YOUR HOUSE

SCREW BALANCE, TOO!

EMBRACE THE CHAOS

NO APOLOGIES

CHILDREN ARE IN REALITY EVIL GENIUSES

OWN IT!

MOM THE BRAND

MOM VERSUS MOM

WOMEN AS THEIR OWN WORST ENEMY

THE PINK ELEPHANT

NO MORE BITCHES

THERE’S ENOUGH SUCCESS FOR EVERYONE TO GO AROUND

DO NOT GO GENTLE INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT

CHAPTER 9 - You’re Beautiful

THE CRISIS OF CONFIDENCE

CONSTANTLY MADE TO FEEL INADEQUATE

SCREW DIETS

DO IT FOR YOU

SCREW AGE

PASSION IS SEXY

SMART IS SEXY

RENAISSANCE MOMS

CHAPTER 10 - The 100 Percent Solution: How to Start a Business for $500

LET’S GET THIS NEW ECONOMY PARTY STARTED!

FIRST THE UNITED STATES, THEN THE WORLD

IT’S ALL ABOUT THE BENJAMINS

CHAPTER 11 - Complete and Total World Domination

A REVOLUTION OF LOVE

TOUGH LOVE

LOVE THYSELF

SHARE THE LOVE

REAL LOVE

ABUNDANT LOVE

HEALING LOVE

Afterword

About the Author

Index

Copyright © 2009 by Kim Lavine. All rights reserved.

Mommy MillionaireTM, Manifesto MomTM, Green DaisyTM, Buy MomTM, and design logoare trademarks belonging to Kim Lavine.

Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey.

Published simultaneously in Canada.

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Library of Congress-Cataloging-in-Publication Data:

Lavine, Kim.

The mommy manifesto : how to use our power to think big, break limitations, and achieve success / by Kim Lavine. p. cm.

Includes index.

eISBN : 978-0-470-54973-5

1. New business enterprises. 2. Women-owned business enterprises. 3. Businesswomen. I. Title.

HD62.5.L387 2009

658.1’1082—dc22 2009019168

To Stephanie Milanowski, who taught me that there are no limits to what one person can do to change one mind, one street, one community, or our world.

Letter to the Reader

IT’S A HISTORIC TIME

Let’s take our place in history. Forget all the talk about doom and gloom. Everything is changing; don’t confuse change with fear. Old institutions are failing, but in their place new and better ones are being created. Barriers to entry are falling in the world of business in an epic fashion everywhere I look. We’re in the midst of major technological advances that will change our lives in the United States and around the world for the better. People will be empowered in unique and exciting ways through unprecedented access to information and communication as well as channels of distribution. Beyond the historic economic opportunity lie the social benefits that will come from giving over a billion people a voice along with the platform to communicate with each other in real time for purposes of commerce, social networking, or maybe even more important, issues of peace and sustainability. It is an event that has never been seen before in human history, and women are poised to take their place as leaders on this world stage. This is the revolution’s manifesto.

Join me.

Kim Lavine June 2009

Sign The Manifesto at www.mommymillionaire.com.

Acknowledgments

I would like to thank the following people, without whose talent, love, and support this book would not have been possible:

My friend Terry Cross, who’s walked through the valley of the shadow of business with me, and who inspires me with his wisdom, passion, and generosity.

My friend Diane Reverand, the most fabulous person in New York and therefore the world, who challenges me to write my best, and to live my best with passion, enthusiasm, and authenticity.

My agent Kirsten Neuhaus, whose smart, passionate dedication to me and this book took us on incredible journeys from the east coast to the west.

My boys Dylan and Ryan, who continue to make me laugh, cry, and love in new and more profound ways every day, “with love forever.”

Introduction

WHAT? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Forty-five years after the first women’s revolution, women still only make up 3 percent of top CEOs, earn only 75 percent of wages of men for equivalent work, and are 40 percent more likely than men to be living in poverty. Elderly women in the United States are 60 percent more likely to be living in poverty than their male counterparts. And don’t get me started on children! Nobody’s suffering more in this culture than children, who, according to the Catholic Campaign for Human Development, represent 36 percent of all impoverished people in the United States. In single-parent households headed by a female, more than half of the children are living in poverty, five times the rate of married-couple families. Women with children are at the bottom of the food chain in this country, and it’s getting worse. According to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, during 2007, workplace pregnancy discrimination charges surged to a record high level, up 14 percent from 2006. At the same time, sexual harassment filings increased for the first time since 2000, up 7 percent from the previous year.

NO WONDER WOMEN ARE STARTING BUSINESSES IN RECORD NUMBERS

Fed up with a corporate world that penalizes them for being both women and mothers, and gender inequities that are getting worse, women are beginning to take control of their financial destinies in record numbers by starting their own businesses. Not only are there more than 11 million women entrepreneurs in this country, making up 48 percent of all businesses, but women are starting businesses today at twice the rate of men. This isn’t just a trend; it’s a sea change. In fact, the forecasted growth of women-owned companies from 48 percent to 55 percent over the next 5 years is a powerful phenomenon that will rewrite the American cultural landscape, changing work and family life in revolutionary ways. This movement is simultaneously driving the creation of America’s New Economy, while transforming social conventions in meaningful and momentous ways in the United States and around the world.

BUT IT’S ONLY JUST BEGINNING!

It’s not just that these numbers are revolutionary. It’s the social conditions behind them where the real revolution lies. According to a recent poll by Oprah of 15,000 working and stay-at-home moms, two-thirds of the working moms said they would quit work and stay home with their kids if they could. Among the stay-at-home moms, more than one-third wished they worked outside the home. Put this many women looking for a solution to a problem together with the technology of the twenty-first century, and the next women’s revolution is born. But this time the revolution isn’t a political revolution, it’s an economic revolution. It’s not just a woman’s revolution—it’s a family revolution. It’s not even a technology revolution anymore; it’s a communication revolution. In fact, the battle might already be over.

OBVIOUSLY, THINGS NEED TO CHANGE!

This next women’s revolution, unlike the first women’s revolution, isn’t going to waste a minute trying to figure out how to fix the system. Forget about trying to fix the system. The system is broken. It’s time to admit that it’s un-fixable by all conventional standards. The current system wasn’t built for women or children. It’s a simple practical matter of trying to fit a square peg into a round hole—it can’t be done, and all the repeated attempts to make it fit are insane, defined as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. It’s time for us to build another system, one that doesn’t penalize us twice for being women and mothers, where women can achieve personal and professional fulfillment without compromising our need to be great moms.

IT’S THE ECONOMY, STUPID

While business people, political pundits, and economic experts are wringing their hands trying to figure out how to respond to an economy transforming under the pressures of global competition, credit markets gone awry, and an uncertain stock market, 30 million entrepreneurs led by women are busy creating tomorrow’s wealth and employment opportunities today. Forget about a recession. The United States is in the midst of the largest entrepreneurial surge this country has ever seen. In 2006, a record number of Americans started companies, including women, college students, seniors, corporate refugees, and recent immigrants, who in 2005 started 25 percent more companies per capita than U.S. citizens. According to the Small Business Administration, more new companies were created in the last year few years than at the height of dot-com hysteria in the late nineties. Estimates by the SBA’s Office of Advocacy estimates that there were 27.2 million small businesses in the United States in 2007, and early indications are that more people than ever are starting businesses in 2009 in response to massive corporate downsizing and layoffs. Put this together with an unprecedented growth in private equity, providing $20 billion a year for start-up businesses in angel capital alone, and you can see that the United States is a tinderbox full of money ready to explode.

BUT WAIT, IT GETS WORSE BEFORE IT GETS BETTER

Having given up on the dream of finding jobs that fulfill personal and career aspirations without compromising our need to be great moms, we bailed from the corporate world, only to find the same roadblocks in starting our own businesses. What we’re discovering is that the inequity doesn’t end in the workplace. The inequity extends to equity itself, or to be more specific, to private equity, or the money that is available as capital to start businesses in the United States. Despite the fact that women own 48 percent of all businesses in this country, only 4 percent of the available $20 billion in angel capital goes to fund women-owned companies every year. With access to capital a major contributing factor to starting and growing a business, it’s no wonder that only 3 percent of all woman-owned businesses have revenues of one million dollars or more every year. What?! Is that fair? Apparently not, because the Kauffman Foundation—the nation’s premiere entrepreneurial organization—just issued a mandate to investors to invest in woman-owned businesses. There’s never been a better time in history for women to access capital!

THIS IS YOUR WAKE-UP CALL

The new breed of women entrepreneurs in search of an answer to a broken system is using the tools of new technology to create a New Economy. Never before has it been more true that necessity is the mother of invention. Or in this case, mothers are the necessity to invention. Take it from somebody on the front lines: Everything in the world of business is up for grabs. The book is being rewritten daily on what the new wealth opportunities of tomorrow are. The creation, distribution, and control of money-making ideas is leaving the hands of the few and transferring to the hands of the many in new and fundamentally different ways every day. You used to have to build railroads to become a millionaire. Now, musicians are taking their products direct to consumers on the Internet. Manufacturers are reaching out to buyers across the world for pennies. Millions will watch one video on YouTube in just one day. The people who made their money just 10 years ago are wondering how to do it again today in a totally new marketplace. Everything is different. Everything is changing. Despite the best efforts of those few who controlled so much of our access to opportunity before, the toothpaste is out of the tube, and no matter how hard they try, they can’t put it back in the way it was.

WHAT’S HOLDING YOU BACK?

Today’s business titans of the old economy are afraid of us and are simultaneously looking to us to show them the way to new money-making opportunities. They’re counting on us not realizing that the only thing separating us from them is our self-doubt, while they try to figure out how to keep the genie in the bottle or opportunity in the hands of the few. They’re counting on women to not recognize the power they have to dramatically affect this precarious situation. As in the heyday of the dotcom era in the late 90s, people with money and power are competing to invest in anyone with an idea and a roadmap to take them forward into this brave new world. For the first time in history, you may not need that investment.

IN TIMES OF GREAT PERIL, COMES GREAT OPPORTUNITY

Nobody said this was going to be easy. Nobody said that recreating the United States’ economy to survive the future and create equity for women, while simultaneously transforming social conventions in meaningful and momentous ways both in this country and around the world, wasn’t going to involve some kind of struggle or sacrifice. But what’s the alternative? Things aren’t getting better for us as women, they’re getting worse. Maintaining the status quo is not an option—change is the only option. No more waiting around for society to give us the respect we deserve. It’s time for us to take it! If we were men, we would be knocking down doors to get it.

ALL GREAT JOURNEYS ARE BEGUN ON THE STRENGTH OF ONE INDIVIDUAL AND HIS FAITH

So what’s stopping us from knocking down doors? What’s stopping us from raising private equity to start and grow our record number of businesses? What’s stopping us after we raise start-up capital from taking our companies to over a million dollars in revenues a year? Is it just going to take more women to have faith? Do we just need a dream? A hero? A vision? Or is it a simple matter of confidence? Do we need to turn off the internal dialog telling us we can’t do it and believe in ourselves instead? What is the internal dialog in women’s heads nowadays anyway, and who’s programming it? Maybe we need to replace “lose weight, be pretty, lose weight, be pretty, lose weight,” with “kick butt, knock down doors, stand up for ourselves, be smart, and take what’s ours.” Maybe we should figure out what we need to do to get our fair share and program that in instead.

ARE SOME OF US OUR OWN WORST ENEMIES?

Isn’t it time we stopped the negative self-talk that tells us we’re too fat, our house isn’t clean or well decorated enough, that our car isn’t big enough, our husband’s job not prestigious enough? There are a hundred books out there telling women about all the stupid mistakes we make to mess up our lives, our marriages, our jobs, our diets, our money. At every supermarket checkout there are a hundred magazines telling us to be skinnier, prettier, richer, sexier, better dressed, with perfect homes and better cooking skills. Where are the books and magazines telling us we’re already skinny and pretty enough? Where are the books and magazines telling us how to be richer, better dressed, with better decorated homes by owning our own businesses and economic futures? Where are the books that tell us that our measure of success as mothers is not how clean and well-decorated our houses are, but how happy our kids are? Is there even one book directed at men that gives them the same messages of self-contempt for every one hundred books for women? Most of these authors are women themselves, who’ve made lucrative careers from telling women on TV and radio that they’re not good enough, smart enough, nor thin enough, or that they don’t keep their houses clean enough to approach some unattainable ideal. Enough with telling women they’re not good enough! I’m here to tell you are and that you can achieve any dream you want, if only you make up your mind to do so. This world does not need one more book or magazine or voice telling women they don’t measure up just so that somebody can make a profit selling them diet pills, cleaning supplies, wrinkle cream, or even books.

THE NEXT SHOE IS ABOUT TO DROP

All these constant messages have created a false god of consumerism that women have come to worship, and by which they’ve come to value themselves. It’s an empty, unforgiving god that measures a woman’s value by clothes, shoes, decorated houses, and fancy cars instead of the achievement of personal or professional hopes, dreams, and aspirations. Don’t get me wrong—I’m not above great shoes! I love fabulous shoes just as much as the next girl, but what’s really exciting is wearing drop-dead shoes to my own company’s board meeting, for which I’m the chairman, or even to my kids’ Christmas pageant at school in the middle of a workday, because I’m the boss, and I don’t have to feel guilty about it or ask anyone’s permission to go. What’s ironic is that women have been driven into out-of-control consumerism as the definitive measure of our success, while we own the very market on consumerism! How can we control something so unilaterally and absolutely, yet be driven by the capricious whims created by arbitrary cultural arbiters, whose job it is to make us feel we’re too fat, have too many wrinkles and a less-than-perfect house, all in an attempt to sell us products to power the consumer market that we control?

LET’S BE OUR OWN CULTURAL ARBITERS

Let’s do something really revolutionary. Let’s take control of the channels of distribution, not only for consumer products, but for all the information that enters the marketplace telling women the ideals to which they should aspire. This is happening as you read this, thanks to innovations in the way we communicate. For the first time in history, women all over the United States and even the world are talking to each other on the Web, tearing down the culture of the past and recreating the culture they want, complete with new values that aren’t designed to make them feel empty, or inadequate, or undervalued, in order to sell them something. Imagine being in control of giving ourselves daily messages of powerful affirmation. Imagine a world where our values are no longer sold to us, but we’re the ones doing the selling. We need a new declaration of lifestyle that focuses on having it all. This is it!

YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL

Another myth holding us back is the myth that women can’t have it all. By that I mean, we can’t have satisfying and rewarding professional lives and be great moms at the same time. The often quoted mantra of the day is “women can have it all, just not at the same time.” Wrong! This is just another myth to keep us from trying or make us feel guilty—guilty for having a job, guilty for not having a job, guilty for not having a good enough job, guilty for sacrificing our career to stay home with kids, guilty for sacrificing staying home with kids for our career. Enough with the guilt already! For that matter, enough with the jobs. Today’s women are shouldering so much guilt, it’s amazing they can even get out of bed in the morning. This includes guilt about our kids, guilt about that pile of laundry we can’t lick, guilt about that missed workout, guilt about that missed opportunity to follow a dream. The myth that women can’t have it all at the same time is especially pernicious. It seems to make sense in the world we’re leaving behind, but in the world we are on the cusp of creating, where we take control of our own financial destinies by starting our own businesses, nothing could be further from the truth. Again, the number one propagators of this myth are women! Let’s come right out and admit it right up front: Sometimes we’re our own worst enemies. It only makes sense that this would be the case in a world in which success for women is scarce, a precious commodity we not only have to compete with men for but compete with each other for. The truth is, in the new world we’re creating, there’s enough success for everyone to go around. Once we don’t have to compete for limited job opportunities, instead taking control of our own financial destinies by becoming our own bosses, we can do away with the myths, the jealousy, the guilt, and the emptiness—along with the inequity, discrimination, and the lousy pay.

IT’S NO WONDER

It’s no wonder women find it tough to succeed when they bring all this baggage to the brink of opportunity and have to compete with men who don’t have the same self-defeating attitude programmed into them. Speaking in a vernacular I’ve learned from years in the male-dominated world of business, getting to the top demands such incredible fortitude, such Herculean nerve, such balls out, balls-to-the-wall , ball-busting, brass balls confidence that even a moment’s hesitation in the race to each day’s finish line can result in failure. ( Just for a minute, try to think of any analogies to boobs that symbolize strength or courage, or that you could even say aloud in a boardroom, where I’ve heard all these male images spouted.) Years into my own journey on the roller-coaster ride that is entrepreneurship, I was told by my then-chairman of the board, a former Wall Street titan and founding investor in Google, Inktomi, and PayPal to name a few, that I had only one thing to thank for my success: balls, or in other words, the gall to stand up for myself and demand what was mine. That was it—the secret in a nutshell. In this world having balls and being a woman can just as easily be confused with being a bitch. It’s time to redefine that, too.

REDEFINING SUCCESS

Again, I’m not talking about a stinking job, or a seat in some megalomaniac’s boardroom, where you work 80 hours a week making someone else’s dream happen. I’m not talking about being a prisoner in a house where you measure your success by how clean and well-decorated it is. I’m not talking about determining your self worth by the measure of status your husband achieves, as you work to support him in the pursuit of his career or dreams. I’m talking about developing the kind of confidence it takes to say “screw this job thing and this house-cleaning thing” while you pull yourself up by the bootstraps, push away adversity, face down doubt, get your business plan torn up and thrown in your face, and close a million-dollar deal with world-class people working for you. I’m talking about learning to value ideas and passion over degrees and job titles, of having the courage to believe in your dreams and go after them while simultaneously teaching your kids to be in control of their own financial destinies by becoming entrepreneurs themselves. I’m talking about filling in that aching black hole of being away from your kids, not by choice but because of a job. I’m talking about being able to watch them grow, understanding that everything they do, say, mess up, or break, is given to you as a special gift from God to make you laugh, cry, and love in new and more profound ways every day. These are the skills women need! Not thinner thighs in 30 days. Not the reduced appearance of fine lines and wrinkles. Not the dream of an immaculate house, the attainment of which is shattered the moment kids and life enter the picture.

YOU’RE FABULOUS—NOW OWN IT!

We’re the architects of this New Economy. It’s time for us to take our share! Instead of waiting for jobs or money or freedom to be handed to you, take your place at the table, embark upon the journey of following a dream, and create tomorrow’s wealth and employment opportunities today. Don’t call us feminists, call us boss! It’s a new time and a new generation of women, and this is a new message of empowerment. We’re not asking for a job. This is a new way of living, and we’re bringing our kids with us this time. Consider this a cannonball fired across your bow.

CHAPTER 1

How to Start a Revolution

Quick. Picture a typical mom. What do you see? Moms have become an analogy for the powerless, the anti-sexy, the timid underdog. More often than not they’re seen as harried, wearing bad jeans, in need of a makeover, or some kind of life transformation that drags them out of their homes into some job for a day, where they’re bossed around, told what to do, and made to feel generally inadequate in order to reveal to them all the things they’re missing by sacrificing their lives to take care of those pesky kids. That is, unless we’re talking about commercials, where moms are shown to be all bright and shiny, ensconced in an immaculate kitchen, or bathroom, or something else they’re furiously trying to keep bright and shiny.

Let’s face it, a mom is an image nobody aspires to—an image more likely than not to be the subject of ridicule. The image of a mom has become so maligned that I know women who won’t even admit to being mothers on job interviews, fearing they won’t be hired because they have children. Hey, I’ve been there. Going to sleep with baby puke on your shoulder, waking up with baby puke on your shoulder, taking showers between cartoons, breastfeeding babies all day while watching commercials telling you you’d better get around to scrubbing that toilet again and disinfecting your entire house of all possible germs in the universe. That, or watching reruns of Teletubbies , or the cartoon du jour all day, or inane talk shows where—aside from celebrities—only those women willing to reveal their innermost embarrassing secrets and shortcomings are deemed interesting enough to be on TV shows that exploit their misery. Can you believe these ordinary puke-stained, baby-balancing, toddler-chasing moms are the women who are creating and leading the revolution?

MOM IS THE NEW SEXY

Why? Because power is sexy, and the new moms are powerful. That’s right, you’re powerful, and you don’t even know it yet! Your power might even be scary! In fact, it is threatening to certain people, who are hoping you don’t figure out how powerful you have become, until they figure out a way to continue to sell you the insecurity that keeps you in your place. In the cultural universe, the planets have aligned, opening a pathway to power and possibility for women, particularly mommies, unlike anything seen previously in history. Is it really possible that the ultimate underdog and perhaps the most marginalized demographic in American society—ironically made up of 38 million women with children—is suddenly the most powerful group on earth? You’d better believe it!

THIS ISN’T YOUR MOTHER’S MOTHER ANYMORE

Forget about soccer moms. Forget about millennium moms, and alpha moms, too. Today’s moms are Manifesto Moms, defying any narrow categorization except that they’re uniquely plugged into technology, particularly technology that enables communication such as my smartphone, which has become a natural extension of my own right hand. This new definition of moms includes everybody, not just those with college degrees, high household incomes, big SUVs, accomplished careers, or kids in sports. Even if you’ve never spent a day in college and find yourself working at Wal-Mart and scraping together enough money to buy toilet paper and macaroni and cheese for your family, you still have the power. If you can turn on a computer and surf the Web for free at the library, that’s where power lies. It’s the ordinary mom’s ability to use new communication tools to shape and influence opinion that is historic, and radical, and transforming.

IT’S A COMMUNICATION REVOLUTION, STUPID