The Monster Moms E-Book

Avani Manish Guri

• Herausgeber: Pencil
• Kategorie: Ratgeber
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 62

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2021

Beschreibung

Meet the Slippery Eel and his Monster Mummy, Laugh at the Mean Lazy Moms, Meet the Tiger moms, The Alien Teenager, and her Invisible mom. Learn the tips to get the Aliens to study, get inspired by the Dragon Grandmom who plays Rummy, THE GURM MONSTER who scares the monster mom. Motherhood is magical and All mothers are Perfect, even if some are honest and Imperfectly Perfect. Presenting The Monster Moms book with a light-hearted approach towards the issues surrounding a Mother's life. Motherhood brings a variety of emotions which range from fear, anxiety, guilt, responsibility, anger, and frustration. But It is a magical world too, especially if you are honest with your child.

Leseprobe

THEMONSTERMOMS

TheIndeliblefootprints.

BY

AvaniManishGuri

ISBN9789354583827©AvaniManishGuri2021PublishedinIndia2021byPencilAbrandofOnePointSixTechnologiesPvt.Ltd.123,BuildingJ2,ShramSevaPremises,WadalaTruckTerminal,Wadala(E)Mumbai400037,Maharashtra,[e-mail]dwideNopartofthispublicationmaybereproduced,storedinorintroducedintoaretrievalsystem,ortransmitted,inanyform,orbyanymeans(electronic,mechanical,photocopying,recordingorotherwise),withoutthepriorwrittenpermissionofthePublisher.Anypersonwhocommitsanunauthorizedactinrelationtothispublicationcanbeliabletocriminalprosecutionandcivilclaimsfordamages.

DISCLAIMER:TheopinionsexpressedinthisbookarethoseoftheauthorsanddonotpurporttoreflecttheviewsofthePublisher.

Authorbiography

Dr.

Avani

Guri

is

a

practising

dentist

since

last

20

years

at

Ghatkopar

Mumbai.

While

dentistry

is

her

profession,

her

passion

includes

writing

blogs

on

parenting

in

a

humorous

manner.

The

passion

for

writing

comes

from

a

background

of

having

exposure

to

the

best

classics

during

her

childhood.

So

when

her

dad

got

Gone

with

the

wind,

he

did

inspire

her

that

Margaret

Mitchell

wrote

her

book

at

a

later

age,

hoping

she

would

take

the

cue.

While

it

seemed

like

a

far

fetched

dream,

writing

short

funny 

blogs

on

a

parenting

site

was

a

way

to

pen

down

her

outlook

and

her

experiences.

This

book

compiles

some

of

the

funny

blogs.

She

loves

travelling,

making

friends,

yoga

and

dancing.

Her

son

Jay

is

the

central

character

as

the

blogs

were

centered

around

him.

She

has

tried

to

capture

the

child's

emotions

as

some

strong

statements

by

her

husband

or

her

son

stuck

with

her

and

made

her

realise

some

intrinsic

changes

she

needed

to

undergo.

She

herself

is

a

Monster

Mom,

while

being

the

daughter

of

THE

INVISIBLE

MOM.

Contents

HUSH...MONSTERMOMISPROWLING

RUMMYWITHBAA

LOOKMA;IAMAKINGFISHERBIRD!

LOOKTHEREISATIGERMOM!

TheAVENGINGMOMMYANDTHEALIENTEENAGER

THEWHISPERINGMOUNTAINS

THEREALMOM-THISISME

MOM,IHAVECOMEINTHISWORLDTOENJOY!

HELP!THEREISANALIENINMYHOUSE!

THEPARENTINGTRAP

THEGREY-HAIREDMOMMY!

LOCKDOWNHYPOCRITEMOMS

THEMEANMOMS

HOWTOGETTHEALIENTEENAGERSTOSTUDY

TOP10REASONSWHYIHATEVACATIONS

MAAKAKHAANA

MOMS,HOWTOSURVIVEBADCOOKINGDAYS!

LOCKDOWNMOMMY!

SUPERKIDSORSUPERCLONES

MOM,DON'TBESOLAZY!

MATHOMANIA

THECRAZYMOTHERS

WHYIENJOYDEFEATINGMYSONATGAMES

THEGURMMONSTER

THESWEETREVENGE

THEINVISIBLEMOMSANDTHEALIENCHILD

THEPETTYDEAL

HUSH...MONSTERMOMISPROWLING

It

is

that

time

of

the

year

when

I

dig

into

the

recesses

of

my

wardrobe

and

pull

out

the

 hideous

Monster

Mom

costume

with

bloodshot

eyes

and

venom

dripping

fangs!

I

remain

in

character

for

the

next

15

days

and

not

once

do

I

let

my

guard

down!

 The

Monster

Mom

prowls

around

the

house

with

a

 perpetual

frown

and

pounces

on

any

 errant

comics

lazing

on

the

sofa,

any

video

games

mischieviously

lying

around

or

any

 muted

television

sessions.

 Everyone

is

scared

of

the

Monster

Mom.

The

 Monster

Mom

serves

bitter

tea,

burnt

bread

and

misshapen

rotis.

Meal

times

are

a

formality

and

food

is

cooked

only

as

a

necessity.

The

house

is

converted

into

a

battle

zone

and

the

war

cries

are

heard

at

regular

intervals

with

a

ferocity

that

scares

residents

five

floors

above

and

below

their

house.

The

maids

tiptoe

in

the

house

and

do

their

work

in

 absolute

silence

,washing

steel

plates

with

the

delicacy

of

handling

glass

so

as

to

not

add

to

the

chaos.

Hubby

 dearest

wears

his

invisibility

cloak

and

slithers

in

the

house

so

as

to

avoid

the

line

of

control.

He

enters

the

house

after

night

time

when

there

is

a

truce

and

sneaks

out

before

day

time

to

avoid

entering

the

chakravyuh

of

 this

battle.

The

enemy

camp

is

ready

with

the

slippery

eel

costume

which

is

very

handy.

The

battle

lines

are

drawn

and

the

sides

are

taken.

Surprisingly,

the

Monster

Mom

camp

is

deserted

while

the

enemy

camp

has

a

lot

of

supporters.

The

first

line

of

defense

are

the

maids

who

make

sure

to

ask

really

silly

queries

about

chopping

vegetables

or

dusting

when

they

sense

a

hand-to-hand

mortal

combat,

thereby

assisting

the

eel

in

slipping

away.

The

second

level

of

defense

are

the

neighbors

who

are

planted

as

spies

by

the

invisible

hubby.

They

report

any

suspicious

battle

cry

or

activity

to

hubby

dearest

who

calls

up

with

the

offer

of

a

movie

date

to

convince

the

normal

mummy

to

return.

However,

the

Monster

Mummy

is

made

of

sterner

stuff

and

is

invincible

to

the

temporary

pleasures!!!!

The

thunderous

battle

cries

terrify

the

neighbors

who

live

a

few

floors

above

and

below.

The

strongest

ally

that

the

enemy

camp

has

are

his

comrades

in

arms

who

are

stationed

at

pre-determined

zones.

Two

of

his

partners-in-crime

stand

outside

the

chakravyuh

(not

daring

to

breach

it

 for

the

fear

of

being

blasted)

and

ring

the

bell

at

various

intervals

(after

every

half

hour)

to

inquire

about

the

battle

status.

If

this

doesn't

work,

the

next

partners-in-crime

(who

have

finished

their

battles

well

in

advance

and

were

not

to

be

seen

all

those

days

as

they

had

surrendered

to

their

moms!!!!)

are

stationed

at

the

intercoms

who

also

call

up

at

regular

intervals

for

the

truce

timings!

Lastly

these

friends

cum

foes

deliver

the

final

thrust

for

the

mega

action

plan...........THEY

SAY

THAT

THE

PLAYTIME

WILL

CONTINUE

BUT

IT

IS

THE

EEL'S

TURN

TO

CONTRIBUTE

THE

CRICKET

BALL;

SO

HE

MUST!

THE

SHOW

MUST

GO

ON

.....WITHOUT

HIM!!!!

This

is

CHANAKYA

NITI

and

the

slippery

eel

wears

his

boots,

takes

his

bat

and

starts

giving

random

answers

to

every

question.

The

CHAKRAVYUH

is

breached

and

he

slowly

inches

his

way

towards

the

lobby

while

trying

to

evade

the

darts

being

thrown

at

him.

The

 Monster

Mom

is

left

all

alone

with

her

weapons

and

no

enemy

camp!

HER

WEAPONS

OF

TORTURE

lie

unused

in

her

WhatsApp

group

where

group

members

had

posted

all

the

trickiest

questions.

In

fact

the

eel's

favorite

grouse

is

that

the

teachers

are

kinder

than

the

Monster

Moms.

None

of

the

fifty

odd

tricky

questions

for

which

he

was

grilled

and

tortured

over

made

their

appearance

in

the

exam

paper.

In

fact,

the

simplest

googly

was

thrown

to

them

and

 because

Monster

Moms

had

tortured

them

so

much,

they

couldn't

quite

handle

that!!!

The

Monster

Mom

 complicates

the

simplest

of

things!!

The

day

the

exams

are

over

,the

costumes

are

put

back

in

the

wardrobes.

Both

of

us

take

a

deep

breath,

heave

a

sigh

of

relief

 and

say

"Hurrah!!!!!!Mummy

and

Sonny

are

back!

Exams

are

done!!!"

RUMMYWITHBAA

My

85

year

old

grandma

is

a

terror

octogenarian.

She

wakes

up

by

5

a.m.,

has

her

bath,

then

has

her

breakfast

with

tea

and

a

nap

at

9

a.m.

She

has

her

lunch

by

11

a.m.,again

a

nap

at

1

p.m.

and

her

afternoon

tea

at

2

p.m.

Then,

she

is

ready

for

the

most

interesting

part

of

her

schedule-a

game

of

rummy

with

my

mom.

The

day

 cannot

progress

without

her

card

game.

This

is

after

she

has

survived

a

stroke,

a

hip

fracture

and

a