The Path Between Us Study Guide E-Book

Suzanne Stabile

• Herausgeber: IVP Formatio
• Kategorie: Religion und Spiritualität
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2018

Seitenzahl: 76

Beschreibung

How do we understand the motivations and dynamics of the different personality types we see in our intimate partners, our friends, or in our professional lives? This six-session study guide is a content-rich companion to Suzanne Stabile's The Path Between Us, exploring the nine Enneagram types and how they experience relationships. Individuals and groups will gain deeper insights about themselves, their types, and others' personalities so that they can have loving, mature, and compassionate relationships.

Leseprobe

Contents

Introduction

Session 1:The Best Part of You Is the Worst Part of You

Session 2:What We Want

Session 3:What We Fear

Session 4:What We Offer

Session 5:Keeping Each Other Forgiven and Free

Session 6:Ways to Help Ourselves and Others

Guidance for Leaders

Praise for The Path Between Us

About the Author

Also Available

Life in the Trinity Ministry

Formatio

More Titles from InterVarsity Press

Copyright

Introduction

Introduction

Welcome to The Path Between Us Study Guide! I am so glad you have decided to go deeper into the wisdom of the Enneagram. This ancient resource has much to offer as we seek to understand ourselves and those around us more fully. As we gain an appreciation for the gifts each of us brings to the table, along with the limitations and problems that are associated with each of the nine numbers, we are capable of offering ourselves, and the world, far more compassion. That offering is a gift for everyone.

Over the next six sessions, this study guide will focus on how each of us can grow and mature in the ways we relate to one another. While it’s never wise to guess at or assign Enneagram numbers to other people, we can honor the differences between us and the people we love by learning about the other eight Enneagram numbers. Keep in mind that in Enneagram understanding, your greatest strength is also your greatest weakness. It’s likely that the way you are in the world—for example, the way you communicate or how you react when you’re excited—is different from your siblings, colleagues, and friends.

Each session will focus on a different topic rather than an Enneagram number. This means it will be helpful to have read The Path Between Us before you begin your journey through this study guide since it doesn’t follow the same chapter structure as the book. And you’ll probably find it helpful to refer to the book periodically as you journey from week to week.

It is also worth noting here that if all of this talk of Enneagram numbers isn’t making much sense to you, now would be a good time to pause and read (or re-read!) The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery. That book is designed to help you identify your own Enneagram number and to give a brief overview of the other eight numbers. It will be important for ongoing Enneagram work that you have a good handle on the basics of your own number.

Because The Path Between Us explores the wisdom the Enneagram offers in helping us grow relationally, you might find it most helpful to do this study in a group. The content here is designed for groups of all sizes: a gathering in a home or at your church, or just three of you at your favorite coffee shop. (Of course, even if you decide to go through this study alone, there is still much wisdom to be gleaned.)

For any group, there are certain ground rules that will make the time together most productive and valuable for everyone.

Make this group a priority. Make every effort to be here each week, to come on time, and to set your phone aside so you won’t be interrupted. Each session is designed to last about ninety minutes, so make space in your life to be fully present for that window of time each week.Listen. Then listen again. As with any self-reflective work, when we discover new wisdom in the Enneagram, we are often eager to share with others what we are learning. Pay close attention to whether you are listening closely to others with the same enthusiasm you have for sharing your own epiphanies. This doesn’t mean you should shut down—often the thing you have learned is the very thing someone else in the group needs to hear—but it does mean that on balance, you should be listening more than you are speaking.Be willing to take a risk. Depending on how well you know the others in your group, responding to some or all of these questions will require vulnerability. Often it is when we’re honest that we can truly learn from one another, so consider making the decision to take some risks as you work through this study.Make this a safe space. Other people’s stories are precisely that—their stories. Some people will be sharing particularly vulnerable parts of themselves in this group. Please respect their privacy and honor their trust by not disclosing their personal stories and concerns to anyone outside the group.

I’m so thankful you’re here. The Enneagram has been so helpful in my life. It offers me compassion for myself and for others, wisdom in making space for people who don’t see the world the way I do, and grace for the strangers I encounter along the way. Know that you have my prayers and best wishes as we all continue to work toward creating a world that offers more compassion and more peace as we walk beside one another on the journey.

Session 1

The Best Part of You Is the Worst Part of You

The truth is that all relationships are messy and unpredictable.

The Path Between Us

Welcome! In this first session, we will begin to get to know one another and explore the truth that each number’s greatest strength can also be a potentially damaging weakness.

We will start by naming the numbers of the people in our group and listing other people we know who have identified their Enneagram type and shared it with us. There is a tendency to want to assign numbers to people in our lives who don’t yet know the Enneagram. That is seldom, if ever, beneficial. Your Enneagram number is not determined by your behavior—it depends almost entirely on your motivation for doing what you do, and that is difficult, if not impossible, for others to know.

If you are using this study guide and you’re not in a group, then the best way for you to proceed would be to commit to looking at yourself in relation to what you have learned about every other number from either The Road Back to You or The Path Between Us.

Strengths and Weaknesses of Our Numbers

As the Enneagram teaches us, the best part of you is also the worst part of you. Read through “Some of the Best and Worst of Us” to see examples of what this looks like for each number.

Some of the Best and Worst of Us

1sBest: Ones have an amazing ability to assess almost everything in terms of how it could be better, and they think it’s their responsibility to make people, things, and situations what they could be.

Worst: Ones can often be overly critical of themselves and others. As they go about correcting what is inadequate or wrong, it often leaves others feeling like they can’t measure up to the One’s high standards.

2sBest: Twos can easily sense what other people need and are generous in trying to meet those needs.

Worst: Twos have notoriously poor boundaries. When involved in “taking care” of others they don’t know how much to give, so they often give too much and then return to their own lives exhausted and unable to tend to their primary responsibilities and their personal needs. The result is often a feeling of being taken for granted, and resentment follows.

3sBest: Threes set goals for themselves and then they reach them—both short-term and long-term goals. Threes have a strong desire to help others reach their potential, and they enthusiastically share their strategies and experience when asked for help or advice. Added to that, they have both the desire and the ability to be whatever a situation calls for.

Worst: Because Threes are focused on “the goal” they sometimes fail to be mindful of both the feelings and the contributions of others. And because of their ability to shape-shift into what others want them to be, they are sometimes more cynical and suspicious of the rest of us, thinking we can do the same.

4sBest: Fours engage life with a fullness that is unique to their number. They are committed to authenticity, and they are the only number on the Enneagram that can bear witness to pain without having to fix it.

Worst: Fours misunderstand the way other numbers see the world as a lack of interest in them or their thoughts and feelings, and they respond by pulling away. Fours can over-identify with their feelings of sadness or regret, and that intensity can be too much for others.

5sBest: Fives are measured, thoughtful, and self-sufficient. They are good listeners and the only number on the Enneagram that is capable of true neutrality.

Worst: