The Skilled Negotiator E-Book

Kathleen Reardon

• Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
• Kategorie: Fachliteratur
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 474

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2014

Beschreibung

In The Skilled Negotiator Kathleen Reardon engagingly describes how to expand on negotiation strategies and develop language skills to enhance success in negotiation. The book is filled with real-life examples revealing how to detect subtleties in manner and speech that negotiation novices fail to notice. You'll learn how to identify the 'choice points' that occur during negotiations, how to influence and redirect the conversation to address what you need and ultimately get what you want. The author helps you: * Identify your negotiation style and its limitations * Use language strategically whether you're being subtle or direct * Recognize deception and manage it * Position and persuade artfully * Effectively negotiate one-on-one and in teams * Deal constructively with your own and others--heated emotions

Leseprobe

Contents

Preface

Chapter One: Defining the Art

Chapter Two: A Versatile Frame of Mind

Dangers of Assumptions

Using Questions

Measuring the Environment

Versatility in Action

How a Negotiator Assesses and Influences

The UPS and Downs of Interaction

In review

Chapter Three: Preparation and Planning

Intelligence Gathering

Choice Point Contrivance and Response

Assessing Style

Chapter Four: Prioritizing Issues, Setting and Revising Goals

Case: The Memo in Every Woman’s Desk

Staying on Track

Negotiating Issue Priorities

Setting Priorities in Teams

Chapter Five: Ethical Considerations

The Sticky Wicket that is Ethics

Ethics and Emotion

Responding on the Spot to Unethical Negotiators

Chapter Six: The Persuasive Opening

Setting the Agenda: Leading with Strength

Negotiating the Agenda

A Strong Opening Stance

The Importance to the Agenda of Framing

Sample Frames

Chapter Seven: Persuasion Strategy Choices

Strategies and their Definitions

The ACE Model

Introduce First or Explain Later?

Identifying and Planning for Obstacles

Communication Media as Facilitator or Obstacle

Credibility and Evidence

Subjective Criteria

A Matter of Trust

The Importance of Maintaining Face

Chapter Eight: The Role of Power

Establish Credibility

Do Your Research

Don’t Have All the Answers

Don’t Quibble Over the Small Stuff

Create Dependence

Use the Power of Who You Know

Don’t Appear Overbearing

Use Time Strategically

Choose the Context Carefully

Use Threat Only as a Last Resort

Don’t Play the Same Power Hand Twice

Remain Flexible

Familiarize Yourself with the Political Landscape

Don’t Go into Negotiation Alone

Don’t Let Yourself Become Flustered

Find the Soft Spot

Chapter Nine: When the Discussion Gets Stalled or Heated

At the Early Signs of Conflict

How to Respond to Potential or Real Conflict

When an Impasse is Reached

Conflict as a Cue for Change

“At the End of the Day” Test

Saving Face and Changing History

Converting Differences to Compatible Interests

Strategy Sequencing

Framing to Reduce Potential or Actual Conflict

Dealing with Deception

Chapter Ten: Taking Negotiation Talents Global

The Global Mind-Set

Establishing Trust

Who Makes the Decisions?

Where to Meet

Minding Your P’s and Q’s

The Role of Emotion and Affect in Cross-Cultural Negotiation

Useful Strategy Considerations

Ten General Rules for Cross-Cultural Negotiation

Summary Remarks

Acknowledgments

The Author

Index

Copyright © 2004 by Kathleen Kelley Reardon. All rights reserved.

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Jossey-Bass also publishes its books in a variety of electronic formats. Some content that appears in print may not be available in electronic books.

J. Carlin quotes:

Carlin, J., “Freed to Live Up to His Legend.” The Independent (London), February 12, 1990. Copyright © 1990 The Independent. Used by permission.

Robert Redford quotes:

Reprinted by permission of Harvard Business Review. From “Turning an Industry Inside Out: A Conversation with Robert Redford.” Harvard Business Review, May, 2002. Copyright © 2002 by the Harvard Business School Publishing Corporation; all rights reserved.

K. K. Reardon quotes:

Reprinted by permission of Harvard Business Review. From “The Memo Every Woman Keeps in Her Desk,” by K. K. Reardon. Harvard Business Review, March-April, 1993. Copyright © 1993 by the Harvard Business School Publishing Corporation; all rights reserved.

“Framing Outside the Box”:

Reprinted with permission of Sage Publications Ltd. and the editors David Holman and Richard Thorpe from Francis Cooren and Gail T. Fairhurst, “The Leader as a Practical Narrator: Leadership as the Art of Translating.” In Management and Language: The Manager as a Practical Author, edited by David Holman and Richard Thorpe. Copyright © 2002 David Holman and Richard Thorpe.

“Strategies List”:

From Kellerman, K., and Cole, T. “Classifying Compliance Gaining Messages: Taxonomic Disorder and Strategic Confusion.” Communication Theory, 4, 1994. Used by permission of Oxford University Press.

“Obstacles Chart”:

From Ifert, D. E., and Roloff, M. E. “Understanding Obstacles Preventing Compliance: Conceptualization and Classification.” Communication Research, 25 (2), 1998. Reprinted by permission of Sage Publications, Inc.

Richardson quotes:

From “How to Negotiate with Really Tough Guys.” Fortune, May 27, 1996. Copyright © 1996 Time Inc. All rights reserved.

Herbig and Kramer quotes:

From Herbig, P. A., and Kramer, H. E. “Cross-Cultural Negotiations: Success Through Understanding.” Management Decision, 29 (8), 1991. Used by permission of Emerald Group Publishing Limited.

“Example of Coordinated Procedural Guidelines”:

From Wessel, M. R., The Rules of Reason: A New Approach to Corporate Litigation. Copyright © 1976. Reprinted by permission of Pearson Education, Upper Saddle River, NJ.

This book is being simultaneously published, with some difference in content, under the title Becoming a Skilled Negotiator, by Wiley Higher Education, ISBN 0-4714-2969-4.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Reardon, Kathleen Kelley.

The skilled negotiator : mastering the language of engagement/Kathleen Kelley Reardon.

p. cm.

Includes bibliographical references and index.

ISBN 0-7879-6655-X (alk. paper)

1. Negotiation in business. I. Title.

HD58.6.R435 2004

658.4'052—dc22

2003026455

To Kevin

Preface

The Skilled Negotiator is based on decades of learning through direct experience and study supplemented by observations of the negotiations of businesspeople, students, colleagues, friends, family, and strangers. It’s always a pleasure to finish writing a book. In this way, The Skilled Negotiator is no exception. In another way, however, it is very much an exception. There is so much to say about negotiation, so very much to learn, that I found deciding what to include in the book and what to leave out even more of a challenge than it has been for most subjects about which I’ve written. Any choice of focus runs the risk of omitting other important aspects, just as a painting focused on the foreground invariably does some injustice to the background. Similarly, the choice of negotiation study focus is, by its very nature, a distortion of sorts. Nevertheless, a choice had to be made. And in this case, the choice was to focus on language—the talk of negotiation. There is a good deal out there on negotiation strategy, far less on how the more skilled among us translate strategy into verbal and nonverbal action. Yet what negotiators actually say and do during negotiation makes all the difference in their outcomes.

The study of how we express what we mean, or fail to do so, has always fascinated me. I hope that some of my fascination rubs off on you as you turn the pages of this book. We human beings are so often our own worst enemies: allowing ourselves to speak too little, too soon, too much, or without consideration for the interests of others. We slip into patterns of talk that take us away from our goals, because we’ve taken our ability to communicate for granted. Skilled negotiators are different in this regard. They are intrigued by talk, connoisseurs of it, capable of detecting subtleties in manner and speech that novices fail to notice. They are themselves fascinating, so studying them has been a good deal of my life’s work. Fortunately, there is no end to what can be learned from observations of people.

The Skilled Negotiator contains my thoughts regarding these observations. I hope you enjoy and benefit from this book as much as I’ve enjoyed and benefited from acquiring the expertise that made it possible. When you’re through reading, your repertoire of options will have been expanded. With practice and fearless experimentation, you’ll add to it. The development of negotiation expertise requires a trial-and-error approach to find what works for you. I’ve tripped and fallen in negotiation, as no doubt you have, but we’ve both learned from those times. I’m now, according to my family, friends, and colleagues, a negotiation force with which to be reckoned. When you finish this book, you will be one too.

February 2004Los Angeles, California

Kathleen Kelley Reardon

Chapter One

Defining the Art

Negotiations are as varied as roller coasters. Some are gentle, others, frighteningly fast and treacherous, with surprising twists and erratic turns. The person who consciously and carefully selects the type of roller coaster and the seat location suited to his or her level of experience and then remains seated and belted in, leaning confidently into sharp turns, is likely to survive the ride unscathed and enjoy it as well.

Negotiation success and enjoyment are achieved in a similar way. The more complex forms change direction unexpectedly. Accomplished negotiators recognize this and so are not derailed by it. They also know that although negotiation occurs often in daily life, it is rarely a simple process. Ups and downs—gains and losses—must be expected. Managing these requires several skills, all harmoniously coming together to ensure progress toward the desired outcomes.

Reaching those outcomes also requires forging alliances, often between people with diverse interests, each determined to walk away with the lion’s share of resources. In the best negotiations, there is a meeting of the minds, an allying, at least on what matters most, who gets what, and how these allocations will be achieved. In fact, business in general cannot profitably operate in the absence of alliances.

When Charles Handy, author and business expert, was asked what skills will be needed in organizations of the future, he emphasized the ability to ally with others: “Key skills will be the ability to win friends and influence people at a personal level, the ability to structure partnerships, and the ability to negotiate and to find compromises. Business will be much more about finding the right people in the right places and negotiating the right deals.”1

Businesses in the future will be more shapeless, Handy adds. Unlike companies of the past, in which people with roughly the same purpose were bound together, businesses now and in the foreseeable future are more like “a collection of globules—partnerships and alliances.”2 When people form partnerships and alliances, they also negotiate the terms of those relationships. Little can be taken for granted in organizations whose people may not be housed together and, even if they are, often do not think alike. One’s personal and professional success in organizations therefore requires skillful management of one’s surroundings—not in the old top-down way, but from all directions. This is only accomplished through skillful negotiation. Warren Bennis, a professor at the University of Southern California and a renowned business author, considers even leadership largely a function of alliance formations—and thus of negotiation.3

Just as business leaders must sell a shared vision to their various stakeholders, world leaders must forge alliances to solve global problems. When leaders fail to form alliances, their legitimacy is questioned. Even when their cause is just, they may be perceived as rogues. And however they are perceived, their work is made harder by the absence of allies willing to share the burden of the enterprise, including its costs.

The importance of alliances in business organizations, be they for profit or nonprofit, applies as well to the governing of people by heads of state and their associates. John Donne’s declaration that “no man is an island” may have never been more true than it is today. Alliances are as essential to the daily life of the entrepreneur as they are to large organizations and governments, and alliances do not exist or succeed without negotiation.

The Skilled Negotiator focuses on how successful negotiation alliances are formed. The more skilled among us in this domain are people who have trained themselves to be versatile; who have studied their own habits and set themselves free from dysfunctional ones. They are both detectives and social scientists, searching for clues regarding their counterparts’ interests and studying their communication. They are by nature inquisitive and by practice insightful. Their mastery of language is at the heart of their success—hence the subtitle of this book. The emphasis on language use in the chapters to come separates The Skilled Negotiator from many previous books. The talk of negotiation, informed by strategy considerations, is a consistent element throughout the book. I examine not only what the experts, both practitioners and academics, have taught us regarding strategy but also how the most skilled negotiators convert those strategies into words.

The term engagement in the subtitle refers not to war, as it is sometimes used, but rather to the active, tête-à-tête nature of negotiation. We use engagement because negotiation begins with a mutual invitation made by interdependent parties to grapple with shared concerns. People engage in negotiation, starting from different vantage points, interests, goals, concerns, and emotions. Through talk, they attempt to identify an avenue of alliance on at least some primary issues. A negotiator cannot become truly skilled without an understanding of how words and actions shape perceptions that stand in the way of such alliances. This requires what Harvard University psychology professor Ellen Langer describes as mindfulness—a rare level of attention to detail and subtlety. According to her research, people who are mindful live longer. Why? Because they pay attention to their surroundings and their own habits, some of which are dangerous. Langer explains: “In the 25 years I’ve been studying this, I’ve learned that the consequences of mindlessness include things like accidents, burnout, poor job performance, memory problems, interpersonal difficulties and health problems. Our mindlessness essentially turns the body off. On the other hand, when we are mindful, we are literally more alive.”4

Skilled negotiators are literally more alive. They do not let the past determine their present and are not ruled by routine. They put in the extra effort it takes to be sensitive to their surroundings and notice not only how things are the same but also how they are different. It is this attention to differences, in particular, that keeps them alert. People generally do not pay attention to the same old things, so people who are not alert to subtle, otherwise unexpected differences walk around each day half asleep. It is largely in times of uncertainly that most of us pay more attention. For example, Langer explains, we pay attention to the sounds our new car makes but soon tune them out. We may tune back in when the car makes a loud grinding noise, by which time it’s too late to do minor repairs.

Skilled negotiators don’t stop listening and observing. They pay attention to subtleties and intentionally look for distinctiveness in people and events that others fail to notice. As a result, they are not caught unaware when things change—when the roller coaster takes a dramatic turn.

It is, of course, one thing to tell negotiators that to be highly skilled they must be mindful; it is quite another to show them what that means in terms of assessing situations and selecting from a repertoire of words and actions. The Skilled Negotiator takes you on this journey. Its purpose is to provide you with insight into how negotiation works and to train you to notice the kinds of subtleties that are obvious to the highly skilled negotiator. Each chapter presents a step in the process of gaining such awareness, taking you from your present skill level to higher-level functioning—and thereby to greater negotiation success.

Chapter Two explains in detail how we routinely abdicate our responsibility to communication and negotiation by allowing ourselves to slip into verbal and nonverbal habits that make us predictable and easy targets for the more alert. Expertise in negotiation requires versatility in word choice, emotional expression, and nonverbal gestures. This chapter explicates how expert negotiators free themselves from the restrictions, born of habit, that imprison so many of their less skilled counterparts. In this and subsequent chapters, I provide examples of how versatile negotiators decide what to say. Such strategies as timing, positioning, advancing, and retreating are important, but so is the less studied talent of using words to implement these and other strategies. This chapter is an eye-opening introduction to the extensive range of choices available to the astute negotiator.

Chapter Three puts the concept of versatility into practice. Focusing on the steps to take in the intelligence-gathering stage of negotiation, I address a variety of interesting questions: How do skilled negotiators create a climate of inquiry that effectively informs language choice? How do they learn more than others about their counterparts? How do the more skillful formulate arguments and articulate them—and in doing so, how do they maintain versatility? How does negotiation style diminish or enhance this versatility of choice? Much of who we are conspires in our unconscious to limit choice. Negotiation at its best involves acute awareness of and adept management of such constraints. Negotiators use the predictability of others to inform their choices while endeavoring to avoid providing their counterparts with the same advantage. They do this by extensive preparation involving expansive thinking and the kind of careful selection of language options introduced in Chapter Three.

Chapter Four describes how ideal and backup goals are developed. When negotiators identify goals too far afield of what can be achieved, they set themselves up for disappointment or failure. Here we look at ways of reducing the likelihood of that outcome by basing goals on the kind of effective intelligence gathering described in Chapter Two. I consider how to work with the other negotiator or team to jointly prioritize issues, as well as ways to keep the negotiation on track once this prioritization is decided. Finally, this chapter deals with the important issue of what to say and do when the other side will not accept your proposed issue priorities.

Chapter Five addresses the important topic of ethics in negotiation. It’s difficult to say exactly what separates the ethical from the unethical negotiator, so most discussions of this topic fall short for those who would like a list of dos and don’ts. There isn’t such a list in Chapter Five, but you’ll find an overview of some excellent thinking on this subject, some ways to assess your own ethics, and guidelines for establishing ethical parameters. My own view is that negotiators should strive to stay on the high road—to reject deception traps, trickery, and manipulation. Yet if you are of the same mind, you’ll need to know how to deal with those who aren’t. This is also part of Chapter Five, as are ways to bring a negotiation to a higher plane even if your counterpart is a snake in the grass.

Having discussed how negotiations can go down unethical roads, in Chapter Six I delve into persuasion, an activity that, although central to negotiation, is often branded as devious. Persuasion is the heart of negotiation; ethics, its soul. It is possible to persuade without resorting to unethical practices; I offer some real-world examples. I then turn to the ordering of issues—agenda setting—and the art of positioning or “framing” issues. It is not sufficient for a negotiator to simply present the issues as if they are self-explanatory; this must be done persuasively. Successfully proposing the ordering of issues also requires persuasion. In fact, persuasion begins even before an issue is discussed, by virtue of its placement. Just as newspaper editors often place more important stories on the first page, negotiators often endeavor to place their most important issues early on. The agenda is therefore not a boring list of topics but an indicator of topic concern. It is the first line of a good negotiation offense and defense.

Chapter Seven focuses on the types of persuasion that skilled negotiators use once the actual interactive part of negotiation is under way. Persuasion at its best is not forceful or deceptive; rather, it encourages a counterpart to choose to adopt an advocated perspective or action. This requires skillful reasoning and appeals to emotion. I offer a repertoire of persuasion strategies, along with two shortcut methods for determining when and how to select among those strategies. I look at the role emotion plays in negotiation, how to effectively employ emotional strategies, and ways to ensure that you are aware when someone is trying to manage your emotions to their advantage. Next, I explore three forms of deception common in negotiation and ways to handle each of them. The chapter ends with several cases of deception and effective ways to return negotiation to a more productive track.

So much of what occurs in negotiation is rooted in perceptions of who has power. What is power, and how do you get it? Chapter Eight answers this crucial question. Power does not exclusively accrue from status, wealth, or expertise. All of us have the ability to create power. Skillful negotiation requires the rare ability to look carefully, mindfully, at what one brings to the table. Ask yourself what the other side wants that you have—or what they might want if they knew you could provide it. Assess, too, what they fear that you might control. Power is in many respects in the eye of the beholder. Astute negotiators know this and are therefore not thrown off stride by the status of their counterparts or by any other indicator of static power. They craft their own power and thereby increase the odds of a profitable negotiation.

Chapter Nine addresses the important subject of conflict. Even if a negotiator takes all the steps advocated in previous chapters, things can still go very wrong. Obstacles and impasses are natural in negotiation, so negotiators must know how to anticipate them as well as know what to say or do when they occur. When negotiators treat conflict as a natural part of negotiation, they are not derailed by it. In fact, just as pain tells the body that something is wrong, conflict can serve as a useful warning that a change of approach is needed. The negotiator who knows how to handle conflict has greater confidence, and in negotiation, confidence—without arrogance—is a significant asset.

Cross-cultural negotiation is the final subject. Crossing cultures in negotiation calls for a high level of the kind of attentiveness and versatility described in earlier chapters. Success here depends on a willingness to learn how people from other parts of the world think about such issues as timing, trust, socializing, decision-making authority, who should speak with whom, etiquette, appropriateness of strategies, gender, and emotional expression. I look at several regions of the world in terms of these topics and offer examples of how cultural sensitivity proves a considerable negotiation advantage—of interest even if you never travel abroad.

The Skilled Negotiator ends with a review of key points from all the numbered chapters. At this point, you’ll possess the capacity to be a skilled negotiator yourself. The only remaining ingredient—a very important one—is commitment to practice. With experimentation comes progress; this is especially true in the development of negotiation skill. Best and worst outcomes are equal teachers, honing the skills of student and expert alike. By the end of the book, you will be better able to craft alliances and to use language tactically in the service of your business, political, and personal goals.

The first step is to position your mind-set so that you are poised to dissect the negotiation process, to learn how to analyze the interests of others, and to select your words to bring about a desirable outcome. Let’s turn now to those critical skills.

Notes

1. C. Handy, “Viewpoint: Charles Handy,” Business: The Ultimate Resource (London: Bloomsbury, 2002), p. 75.

2. Ibid.

3. W. Bennis, “No Lone Rangers,” CIO Insight, May 23, 2003.

[http://www.cioinsight.com/article2/0,3959,1102476,00.asp].

4. E. Langer, “Be Aware of Life’s Mindfields,” Los Angeles Times, Aug. 14, 2003, p. B15; E. Langer, “Rethinking the Role of Thought in Social Interaction,” in New Directions in Attribution Research, ed. H. Harvey, W. Ickes, and R. Kidd (Hillsdale, N.J.: Erlbaum, 1978), vol. 2, pp. 35–58.

Chapter Two

A Versatile Frame of Mind

Effective negotiators are adaptable. They do not become wedded to static approaches or strategies. They remain vigilant on the real issues from start to finish, all the while absorbing information about their counterparts’ habits, speaking and presentation patterns, and personal style. They monitor themselves as well, making sure to avoid mere reaction to choices the other side presents. This level of performance, not easily achieved, is at the heart of what separates the skilled negotiator from the amateur.

We begin our discussion of these rarely developed talents with one of the first choices a negotiator makes: whether to take an integrative or distributive approach to negotiation—or an approach somewhere in between the two. Writers on negotiation have placed considerable emphasis on the mutual gain orientation. For decades, the trend in such writings has been away from the idea of winning in negotiation at the expense of others toward the concept of cooperative sharing. The former is called distributive negotiation; the latter, integrative negotiation. Research has indicated that negotiators who more frequently use cooperative strategies achieve high mutual gain, whereas those who rely on competitive strategies tend to achieve less. This finding suggests that negotiators should focus mainly on the establishment of cooperation. Yet research also shows that negotiators who view themselves as having considerable influence over the other party are more likely to assume a position of strength and to hold firm on issues of importance. Negotiators who perceive that they have little influence over the other party are more likely to make greater concessions. Taken together, these research findings suggest that a cooperative, win-win focus is generally useful, but it is also important to know how much one is willing to concede to achieve that focus. If we look at this in terms of a continuum (see ), at one end is purely distributive negotiation, in which there is no regard for the needs and interests of the other side. Ultradistributive negotiators at this end of the spectrum are addicted to winning. They may lose sight of their original goals and trample on the aims of others, all in the service of being able to say, “I won.” I recall speaking with a young businessman who had just returned from a negotiation in Japan. He proudly informed me that he hadn’t let them “get the best” of him. He described how he’d stood his ground, pressed for his goals, and refused to back down. I asked whether he’d been successful. He responded, “I didn’t get what I wanted and they didn’t get what they wanted—but now they realize that I’m not going to back down, that I intend to win. That’s important, so in that sense, I won.” This businessman never returned to Japan because he was never invited back. Such is the fate of those who habitually focus on winning and disregard the process of give and take that is required to “win.”