The Xenophobe's Guide to the Greeks E-Book

Alexandra Fiada

• Herausgeber: Xenophobe's Guides
• Kategorie: Geisteswissenschaft
• Serie: Xenophobe's Guides
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2010

Seitenzahl: 102

Beschreibung

A guide to understanding the Greeks which takes an insightful, irreverent look at their character and attitudes.

Das E-Book wird angeboten von und wurde mit folgenden Begriffen kategorisiert:

Leseprobe

Contents

Title Page

Nationalism & Identity

Character

Attitudes & Values

Behaviour

Manners

Obsessions

Leisure & Pleasure

Culture

Language

Conversation & Gestures

Sense of Humour

Custom & Tradition

Eating & Drinking

Government & Systems

Health & Hygiene

Crime & Punishment

Business

About the Author

Copyright

The Greek population is 11 million, compared with 3 million Albanians, 2 million mixed peoples composed of Bulgarians, Greeks, Albanians, Serbs, Turks and gypsies in F.Y.R.O.M. (Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia), 8 million Bulgarians, 70 million Turks, 52 million English and 307 million Americans.

Nationalism & Identity

Forewarned

“It is not that the Greeks do not acknowledge their shortcomings; it is rather that they do not recognise any outsider having the right to point them out.”

The Greeks are the personification of contradiction and nowhere is this more pronounced than in their view of themselves. A Greek, speaking to other Greeks about the Greeks, more often than not will be outspokenly critical, even downright rude about how fellow Greeks conduct themselves in any given situation. His pronouncements will be received by his cronies with much head-nodding, appropriate expletives of acquiescence and, further, with even more disparaging remarks. But woe betide the hapless foreigner who takes any line other than that of the classicist Rex Warner: ‘If you cannot love the Greeks you cannot love anything.’ The same Greeks, who a minute ago were so disparaging of themselves, will turn on him – like a tigress defending her cub – and, while extolling Greek virtues, accuse him of all the sins of omission or commission his country has committed against Greece since the dawn of civilization – and beyond.

It is not that the Greeks do not acknowledge their shortcomings; it is rather that they do not recognise any outsider as having the right to point them out. “When we were building the Parthenon,” they might well declare, “you were painting yourselves blue.”

Modern Greeks pat themselves on the back because, although they fall short of what their ancestors achieved, they managed to come through a 400-year Turkish occupation (one of the cruellest in history) with their identity, their religion, their customs and their language virtually intact.

“They carry a burden of resentment towards the West. It’s a state of mind continually fanned by what the Western world has achieved through the exploitation of Greek heritage.”

However, this occupation prevented them from enjoying the benefits of the Renaissance (for which they provided the means) and precluded their taking part in the Age of Exploration, the Enlightenment, and the Social and Industrial Revolutions. When they threw off the Turkish yoke in 1827 they found themselves not only living in a country that had lost more than three quarters of its former territory, but pitched headlong into the industrial age without the know-how or cash to cope with it. They have been trying to catch up with the West ever since.

The transition was traumatic for Greek psyche. They feel a sense of inadequacy compared with ancient and Byzantine Greeks because they have failed to recreate the ‘Great Greece’ of their forefathers, and they carry a burden of resentment towards the West. It’s a state of mind continually fanned by what the Western world has achieved through the exploitation of Greek heritage, which makes the Greeks feel as if they have been robbed of it. The result is a bizarre inferiority-cum-superiority complex vis-à-vis the West. ‘We gave them the light of knowledge and we have been left with the light from cheap tallow candles’ is one of their favourite sayings.

“Until recently, slang dictionaries defined a ‘Greek’ as ‘a gambler; a card-sharp; a cheat; a highwayman’.”

On the other hand, nothing shakes their fundamental belief that they are the most intelligent and the most ingenious people on earth, and also the most brave.

So when in Greece, avoid looking down your nose at anything Greek because it will get you nowhere. The Greeks have famously long noses to look down.

How others see them

‘We are all Greeks,’ declared Shelley. ‘Our laws, our literature, our religion, our arts have their roots in Greece.’ Yet, until recently, slang dictionaries defined a ‘Greek’ as ‘a gambler; a card-sharp; a cheat; a highwayman’ – probably because so many of the refugees who fled to the European capitals after Constantinople fell to the Turks had to live on their wits to survive.

“The Greek has always been proven to be less than equal to circumstances, although from the point of intellect he has always had supremacy.”

The Greeks’ dual personality has fascinated historians and travellers for centuries. Some saw them through rose-coloured spectacles, some through dark, distorted lenses, while others did not see them at all, but wrote as if they did. The laurel goes to an American, Judge N. Kelly, who managed to contain all their contradictions in a nutshell:

‘In the tribunal of relentless history, the Greek has always been proven to be less than equal to circumstances, although from the point of intellect he has always had supremacy.

The Greek is most intelligent, but also conceited; active, but also disorganised; with a sense of honour, but also full of prejudices; hot-headed, impatient, but also a fighter. […] One moment he fights for the truth and the next he hates the man who refuses to serve a lie.

A strange creature, untameable, inquisitive, half-good, half-bad, fickle, of uncertain mood, self-centred, foolish-wise – the Greek. Pity him, admire him, if you wish: classify him, if you can.’

Whatever the case, as former French President Giscard d’Estaing said, “Europe without Greece would have been a child with no birth certificate.”

Special relationship

A Greek-American used to hand out visiting cards that stated in bold letters: ‘I’d rather do business with a thousand Turks than with one Greek.’ On the reverse was the name of his business, in handsome copperplate: Mike’s Funeral Parlor.

The word ‘Turk’ alone raises the hackles of even the most cosmopolitan of Greeks, though what they really detest is Turkey as a concept and not individual Turks. Their reasons are understandable: they have had a surfeit of Turkish treatment since the mass slaughter of Greeks at the fall of Constantinople in 1453.

“The word ‘Turk’ alone raises the hackles of even the most cosmopolitan of Greeks.”

Throughout the resulting occupation, bands of white-kilted resistance fighters from the Greek highlands staged revolt after unsuccessful revolt. In 1821 they were lucky: they liberated part of Greece, but at a heavy price. ‘Better an hour’s free life,’ ran the revolutionary anthem, ‘than 40 years in bondage.’ Their slogan, ‘Freedom or Death’, still rings in Greek ears and their martial songs blare from every radio on emotion-charged anniversaries.

In a second round of warfare with the Turks, the Greeks liberated Epirus, Macedonia and West Thrace, but, after ten years of victories, their campaign in Turkey ended in 1922 in a complete disaster at Smyrna.

In more recent times, the Turkish occupation of almost half of the island of Cyprus added considerable fuel to the embers of the ancient fire, with the result that whenever the question of solving the Cyprus problem is raised at the United Nations, vociferous demonstrators march down the streets of Greek cities in support of the Greek-Cypriots.

Modern Greeks not only behave as if the events of those years happened yesterday, they also blame the Turkish occupation for all the faults in their character.

How they see others

“They do not like the F.Y.R.O.M. Slavs (see map), who insist on appropriating the name ‘Macedonia’.”

Apart from the Turks, the Greeks harbour little ill-feeling towards any other nationality. In pre-E.U. days they loathed the Bulgarians for their expansionist intentions, but now this is no longer a threat they are busy building factories in Bulgaria to take advantage of the cheap labour. However, they still do not like the F.Y.R.O.M. Slavs (see map) who insist on appropriating the name ‘Macedonia’ for their country – a dispute as yet unresolved. Nor are they over-fond of the Albanians, who, having managed to capitalise on the Greek Civil War, dragged the region of North Epirus behind the Iron Curtain with half a million Greeks in it. Yet Fate takes unexpected turns, and now these former aggressors are flooding Greece as economic refugees – and the Greeks are busy trying either to assimilate them, or keep them out.

“The Greeks have a collective word coutófragi (meaning ‘stupid Franks’) which encompasses the whole Western world.”

As for other nations, the Greeks have a collective word coutófragi (meaning ‘stupid Franks’) which encompasses the whole Western world. In all probability the word is a remnant of the 13th-century occupation of Greece by the Franks of the Fourth Crusade – a real clash of civilizations since the uncouth, iron-clad knights crashed into the highly sophisticated Byzantine Empire, smashing wantonly whatever they did not understand.

Of later date are various generalities: the Turks are boudaládes – that is, fat and stupid; or ápisti, meaning ‘infidels’; the Bulgarians are gourounomítes, that is, ‘pig-nosed’, or kommitadzídes, after the especially murderous bandits who roamed Macedonia and Thrace in the late 19th century, trying to coerce the Greek population (then living under Turkish rule) to turn Bulgarian. Bulgarian women did a great deal towards establishing more cordial relations with the Greeks. After the fall of the Communist regime, they came over the border (along with assorted East Europeans) to ply the world’s most ancient profession among affluent Greek peasants. Their impact was such that Greek wives demanded the government take preventive measures, while provincial bars and cabarets posted signs proclaiming: ‘Tonight: Fresh Bulgarian Women’.

“The Italians are considered to be macaronádes – ‘spaghetti-eaters’, meaning good-for-nothings.”

Having now been part of the European Union and the Euro-zone for a number of years, the Greeks avoid calling their fellow-members names, but old generalities endure: the Italians are considered to be macaronádes – ‘spaghetti-eaters’, meaning good-for-nothings (the Greeks have not forgotten that they soundly beat the Italian army in the Second World War). The French are known for their elegance and culture, but they are seen as ‘gigolos’ or ‘cocottes’, depending on the gender, or ‘cunning diplomats’ (which is not meant as a compliment); the Germans are workaholics, the Spanish are passionate lovers; the Irish are alcoholics, the Scots are stingy, and the English are the embodiment of punctuality but emotionally cold (‘cold-arsed’ is the word the Greeks use).

Outside Europe, the Latin Americans are either footballers or sexy samba dancers or cocaine barons; the whole of Africa is peopled by lazybones; the Egyptians are illiterate ‘fellahs’; the Jews are penny-pinchers, but fantastic bargainers; and the Arabs are all Bedouins who would steal your fingers if you offered to shake hands.

The Americans are ‘cowboys’ who try to rule the world as if it were the Wild West. The Russians are hahòli, meaning clumsy mountains of flesh; the Chinese are as inscrutable as their language (the Greeks obviously do not say “It’s all Greek to me”. They say “It’s all Chinese”). The rest of the world may go hang.

“The Greeks do not use other nations as the butt of their jokes. They keep the sport in the family.”

Surprisingly, the Greeks do not use other nations as the butt of their jokes. They keep the sport in the family, so to speak, reviling each other from province to province, from village to village and from island to island. The Cretans dislike the Peloponnesians, the Macedonians dislike the Rumeliotes, the Epirotes dislike the Thessalians, the islanders the mainlanders, the Athenians all the rest, and so on – until every rock and hamlet is covered.

The international jokes which question the intelligence of one people or another are directed towards the Greeks from Pontos (the refugees from the former Greek lands on the Black Sea). For example:

Q: Why did the prostitute from Pontos who had been in the business for twenty years commit suicide?

A: Because she found out that all the other prostitutes were getting paid for it.

Or, an announcement at the airport:

‘The Pontiots are requested not to spread corn on the runway. The big bird will come down without it.’

Greek gypsies are another popular subject because of their penchant for pilfering, their peddling, their innumerable children and their unspeakable dirt.

“Wife,” asks the gypsy, seeing in the rear-view mirror that one of his countless brats has fallen off the back of his Datsun pick-up truck, “shall we stop to pick him up, or shall I get you with a new one?”

Long memories

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