The Yummy Jellybeans of Relationships E-Book

Tracey Calvert-Joshua

• Herausgeber: BookRix
• Kategorie: Ratgeber
• Sprache: Englisch

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2021

Beschreibung

On the evening of my 10th birthday, my grandpa told us a story, that still replays as vividly in my mind, as it did that day. This story is NOT about my grandpa. But if that made you want to keep reading, then we have something in common.

Just like you, there is nothing that grabs my attention more than if someone starts off with a personal story. And there’s nothing that drives a point deeper, than if the story-teller references social experiments or popular fiction characters. Without these, you run the risk of it all sounding like one loooong, cleverly-disguised lecture.

The chapters of this book are named after jellybean flavours, with reference to Bertie Bott's jellybean flavours in the Harry Potter novel. 

This is an playful, short read about relationship red flags, told as a bunch of FUNNY stories and social experiments, where you get to be an outside observer, but you can easily walk the experiences back to your own relationship.
You then get to decide, in a non-dictating way, whether you should still continue in the same direction, or whether it’s in your best interest to start making little changes.

Leseprobe

Tracey Calvert-Joshua

The Yummy Jellybeans of Relationships

The Flavours that work

I made my list of 100 things that I wanted in a husband. Some hinted that I was being unrealistic. But you showed me that I wasn't. And you extended my "ridiculous" list. I thank the Lord Jesus for you. But I also thank you. Because you had to choose to be the man He wanted you to be. Mommy, you taught me to fight for, to pray for and to wait for what I wanted. You were right. This book was inspired by those who have loved me from the beginning. By those whom I have loved for long. And by those I've come to love recently. Every word in this book is because of relationship. BookRix GmbH & Co. KG81371 Munich

Copyright and License

The Yummy Jellybeans of Relationships

Copyright © 2020 Tracey Calvert-Joshua All rights reserved

Although the characters and events portrayed in this book are not fictitious, readers should not automatically assume an identity based on any similarity to real persons, living or dead.

No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written permission of the publisher.

Cover design by: Tracey Calvert-Joshua

Published by Tracey Calvert-Joshua

License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient.

If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your enjoyment only, then please return to Smashwords.com or your favourite retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Dedication

I made my list of 100 things that I wanted in a husband. Some hinted that I was being unrealistic. But you showed me that I wasn't. And you extended my "ridiculous" list.

I thank the Lord Jesus for you. But I also thank you. Because you had to choose to be the man He wanted you to be.

Mommy, you taught me to fight for, to pray for and to wait for what I wanted. You were right.

This book was inspired by those who have loved me from the beginning. By those whom I have loved for long. And by those I've come to love recently.

Every word in this book is because of relationships.

Introduction

In the Harry Potter series, we are introduced to Bertie Bott’s infamous jellybeans. You could try guessing the flavour of the jellybeans by their look, but there was really no way of telling which flavour you chose, until you put it in your mouth.

Normally this would be an intriguing game, except for the fact, that in this batch, you may find yourself biting into accidental disgusting creations, such as vomit flavour, booger flavour, earwax flavour, rotten egg flavour, and other nasty flavours that have no business in food.

It rightfully advertises as: “Every Flavour Beans - A Risk With Every Mouthful!" This is exactly how many view romantic relationships. They believe that there is simply no formula for getting it right. You just have to taste the one person after the other, until you are lucky enough to find a palatable partner.

A young woman who just started dating, asked a question on Facebook, that we’ve all posed at some point in our lives. What makes a strong relationship?

At this stage I was married for more than 10 years, and because I was always philosophical, this was definitely not a subject that I just flippantly grazed over.

I figured that if at least a few people exist, who between them have tried most of the "jellybean flavours" of relationships, then surely they would have developed a labelling system.

One that the rest of us can follow, so that no “rotten egg” makes us “vomit” up the hopes we had, when we first bought into the idea of marriage.

Although marriage is by no means non-magical (like the Muggle-flavoured jellybeans), this is my unexhausted list of yummy jellybeans that make for strong relationships.

Each chapter is named after a jellybean that gives you a taste for the topic under discussion, but the chapters deliberately do not follow a specific order -much like a packet of unsorted jellybeans.

And I am sure that these somewhat-labelled beans, will constantly grow in edible flavours, as I continue to undertake the taste test. (**,)

POPCORN (in a skillet)

Learn Not To Overreact

In a viral YouTube video, a very enthusiastic man was cooking in the kitchen with his partner. While she still had her back to the camera, he was calling out the spices that he was planning to season the chicken with.

She turned around to check up on him, and gave him a look that can only be described as utter confusion mixed with a hint of contempt.

She had asked him to clean the chicken, and he, being a novice in the kitchen, had used dish soap to wash it. The chicken pieces that I previously never noticed, now appeared boldly in the foreground of the video. They were coated with soap bubbles. She meant that he was supposed to rinse the chicken.

She was absolutely livid. He had to answer whether he was a retard and hear a host of other flinch-worthy insults. According to her, he had completely ruined everything, and she proceeded to angrily dump all the chicken in the bin. At this stage I thought she was going to hit him with the tray over the head, but luckily she just paced out of the kitchen.

Naturally, he too was very confused and kept saying: “But you said that I should WASH the chicken.” She couldn’t even hear him through her anger. And she kept shouting that she gave him just ONE task to do, and he screwed it up – of course she was using slightly more colourful words.

By the look on his face, you could see that he was probably not going to offer to help her - EVER again. Especially if it involved a new experience with her and he runs the risk of “ruining everything” again.

He wasn't going to take a chance and be vulnerable around her, because she had no problem embarrassing him and showing her disdain for his imperfections.

I grew up in a home like this, where the smallest of things would cause a major flare-up. In my case the culprit was a male relative, but I have seen this often with women too. If we constantly have huge reactions to little things, they will probably be too scared to come to us when they have something really big to share.

Disproportionate reactions to the tiniest of things, tells your partner that they better not tell you if they have cancer, or if they've lost their job. They better find a solution on their own.

Next time you send him to the shop, and he buys you the wrong chocolate, will your reaction make him not want to go to the shop for you ever again?

Next time she shares how hurt she was by something someone said to her, will you undermine her feelings by calling her over-sensitive? And do you enjoy being able to say: "I told you so?"

How about we rather be each other’s calm in the storm.

One of the tricks that I like to do, is the moment someone shares anything with me, especially if I see that it is something "big" to them, I become aware of what I AM feeling.

I then ask myself: "How can I react in a way, so that MY reaction (or lack thereof) calms them down? Perhaps my calmness will help them to pull themselves together and take action towards a solution."

Even if they cannot get to a solution right away, I at least want to make sure that my reaction does not make them feel worse than they already do.