Table of Contents
Praise
Title Page
Copyright Page
Preface
Acknowledgments
CHAPTER 1 - A Hair in Your Biscuit
Try a Little TLC—Take It, Leave It, or Change It
External Use of TLC
Liar Liar, Pants on Fire
Extra Tip: Be Trusting
CHAPTER 2 - Doesn’t Work Well with Others
Don’t Try to Change People
Quit Knee-Jerking
Control Ugly Outcomes
Dump the “Yabit Habit”
Watch Your Mouth
Attitude Does Count
CHAPTER 3 - The Steamroller
Take I: How They Sound
Names Will Never Hurt Me
What to Look For
The Message the Steamroller Sends
The Payoff for the Steamroller’s Toxic Behavior
Survival Tactics
What to Say
Behaviors to Avoid
Take II: How It Should Sound
CHAPTER 4 - The Zipper Lip
Take I: How They Sound
Names Will Never Hurt Me
What to Look For
The Message the Zipper Lip Sends
The Payoff for the Zipper Lip’s Toxic Behavior
Survival Tactics
What to Say
Behaviors to Avoid
Take II: How It Should Sound
CHAPTER 5 - The Backstabber
Take I: How They Sound
Names Will Never Hurt Me
What to Look For
The Message the Backstabber Sends
Survival Tactics
What to Say
Behaviors to Avoid
Take II: How It Should Sound
CHAPTER 6 - The Know-It-All
Take I: How They Sound
Names Will Never Hurt Me
What to Look For
The Payoff for the Know-It-All’s Toxic Behavior
Survival Tactics
What to Say
Behaviors to Avoid
Take II: How It Should Sound
CHAPTER 7 - The Needy Weenie
Take I: How They Sound
Names Will Never Hurt Me
What to Look For
The Message the Needy Weenie Sends
The Payoff for the Needy Weenie’s Toxic Behavior
Survival Tactics
What to Say
Behaviors to Avoid
Take II: How It Should Sound
CHAPTER 8 - The Whine and Cheeser
Take I: How They Sound
Names Will Never Hurt Me
What to Look For
The Message the Whine and Cheeser Sends
The Payoff for the Whine and Cheeser’s Toxic Behavior
Survival Tactics
What to Say
Behaviors to Avoid
Take II: How It Should Sound
CHAPTER 9 - Planning for Toxic Spills
Strategies to Reduce Fear
Face Down Fear!
Focus on Resolution
Drama Queen
CHAPTER 10 - Plotting Toxic Cleanup
Habits for VIP Communication
Plotting to Manage Toxic Bosses
CHAPTER 11 - Listen Up!
Ears and Brains
Listening Scoreboard
Three, Two, One ... Blast Off
Survival Tactics
Huh? Your Challenge
CHAPTER 12 - Control the Uncontrollable
Control Your Job
Control Others
Control Yourself
Control It All
CHAPTER 13 - Toxic Customer Service
Winning Over a Toxic Client
Reverse the Scenario
External and Internal Testing
All a Toxic Client Wants Is ...
CHAPTER 14 - Mental Looting
Look to Ben
Toxic Soup
Yes-o-Meter
How to Say No without Feeling Guilty (or Getting Fired)
Defensive People Are Looters
Arguing
Counseling and Coaching
Asserting Yourself
CHAPTER 15 - Toxic Infections
Triage: Are You Infected?
Healing Toxic Infections
Depression Infection
CHAPTER 16 - Ruffled Feathers
Caged?
Women Take Care; Men Take Charge
Toxic E-Mail
CHAPTER 17 - On a Personal Note
One Day at a Time!
Toxic Kids Learned from Toxic Adults
It’s Okay to Laugh at Yourself
Don’t Become Toxic When a Loved One Dies
Take Personal Responsibility for Kids
Cyberbullying
Decontaminating—Your Personal Responsibility
CHAPTER 18 - Survivor
Leader Checklist
Employee Checklist
Survivor Checklist
About the Author
Praise forToxic People
“This may be the best book available on how to deal effectively with really difficult people. It could save your sanity and maybe even your career.”
—Brian Tracy, author, The Power of Charm
“I guarantee you will see people you know in this book. While there are many books on leadership and personal accountability, this one truly resonates in reality and practicality. Toss the duct tape and get the book. I did.”
—Jack Stroud, Executive Director, Vorys Sater Seymour and Pease LLP
“Toxic people—how about toxic patients! As a plastic surgeon, my goal is to make people look better, but most especially feel better about themselves. Most times I succeed, but when I fail, I can encounter the toxic fumes of everyday life. Petrie Sue’s book candidly reveals how toxic personalities redirect their venom into business and professional relationships, and she teaches us how to avoid letting those issues interfere with a successful outcome. A must-read for anyone in the people business.”
—Martin Bell, MD, JD, North Valley Plastic Surgery
“Petrie Sue’s book makes one thing very, very clear: If you’re letting toxic people make you miserable, then they’re doing it with your permission. Wow! What an eye-opener!”
—Joe Calloway, best-selling author,Work Like You’re Showing Off!
“Petrie Sue’s ideas on changing your responses to your personal environment so that life becomes more pleasant are practical, and they do work. I know!”
—Johanna Cogle, Principal, Queens Academic Group, Auckland, New Zealand
“You will never again need to think, ‘How do I handle this situation?’ Petrie Sue’s book provides easy-to-remember specific solutions for dealing with all types of negative or stressful people. Her formula of TLC—take it, leave it, or change it—can improve your professional and personal life forever. Don’t let deadly toxic people contaminate you anymore.”
—Tracee Lee Curtis, CFA, CFP
“Rather than simply suffering the consequences, read this practical book and learn specific, sane skills you can use to deal positively and effectively with toxic people.”
—Mark Sanborn, author, The Fred Factor and You Don’t Need a Title to Be a Leader
“Freedom from conflict will never happen unless you buy and read Petrie Sue’s new book, Toxic People. It’s loaded with practical, entertaining ideas to turn those toxic relationships into productive ones.”
—Dr. Tony Alessandra, best-selling author,The Platinum Rule and Charisma
Copyright © 2007 by Marsha Petrie Sue. All rights reserved.
Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey.
Published simultaneously in Canada.
Wiley Bicentennial Logo: Richard J. Pacifico.
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data:
ISBN 978-0-470-14768-9
Preface
Caution:Expect discomfort while reading this book—don’t just enjoy it. This is the only life you have, so you might as well learn how to manage people who create perplexity, puzzlement, and pandemonium. You know the ones—Toxic People!
My approach to dealing with difficult people, poor communications, and conflict is one that aims to be unique, funny, and based on common sense. And this may tick you off, because my approach is not so much about the difficult person as it is about .
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!