When Bullying is a Top Priority E-Book

Rainer Kreer

• Herausgeber: epubli
• Kategorie: Sachliteratur, Reportagen, Biografien
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2024

Seitenzahl: 242

Beschreibung

Bullying is the coward's and incompetent's way of pushing out individuals of their environment who bother them. How far are you willing to go to stop bullying? This book is non-fictional, backed by my true story. In addition to all the factual recommendations, it is necessary to tell them so that the complexity of bullying and possible countermeasures can be understood through appropriate case studies. It is aimed at everyone who is interested in the topic of bullying. Regardless of whether they are affected and experiencing it first-hand, or employees who want to arm themselves preventively in the event of finding themselves in a bully's crosshairs. It is also aimed at managers who want to know how to identify and stop bullying. And I'll show you what methods a bully uses to influence you in his favor and get you on his side. This book is a declaration of war against all bullies.

Leseprobe

Rainer Kreer

When Bullying is ATop Priority

A declaration of war to all bullies

Non-Fiction

Based on a true story about bossing

IMPRINT

Author: Rainer Kreer

Content/Cover/Illustrations: © 2024 Copyright by Rainer Kreer

Translation: Rainer Kreer

Publisher:

Rainer Kreer

[email protected]

https://www.sub-com.de

This e-book, including its parts, is protected by copyright, and may not be reproduced, resold, or distributed without the permission of the author.

If you liked the e-book or found it helpful, recommend that your friends download a personal copy. A big thank you for respecting the author's work!

As a native German, I probably often do not correspond to the typical choice of words of a native English speaker. However, to preserve the authenticity of my personality in this book, I asked my editors to only make significant rewording if the language was incomprehensible. Thank you for your understanding.

Disclaimer

This book is not directed against the United States Army which is a great company and an employer that is leading the way in many things. It wasn't the organization that failed in my case, but people. Because not everyone who works there acts according to the U.S. Army's values.

Loyalty

Duty

Respect

Selfless Service

Honor

Integrity

Personal Courage

This book does not disclose any trade secrets.

In this book, no one except myself is referred to by their true name. Instead, synonyms are used. These are either fictitious or based on fictional or historical people or on a typical characteristic or behavior. Outsiders are unable to identify living people. Insiders know the incidents and events anyway.

All incidents described in the book are true and can be proven by me. I generally didn't make assumptions, but if I did, then they are explicitly marked.

According to the official definition of the term, described behaviors of various characters can correspond to the behavioral patterns of people with personality disorders, such as narcissism or psychopathy. Whether such a condition exists for the person in question can only be determined by an expert.

Prolog

This book is non-fictional, backed by my true story. In addition to all the factual recommendations, it is necessary to tell it so that the complexity of bullying and possible countermeasures can be understood through appropriate case studies.

The sections of the book marked as “Carnage Edition”1 (CE files) are caricatural. They serve to provide you, dear readers, with entertainment, despite being objective. Any similarities to the behavior of living people are intentional.

These sections are marked separately.

with a start symbol

and an end symbol.

The non-fiction part is addressed to everyone who is interested in the topic of bullying. Regardless of whether they are affected and experiencing it first-hand, or as employees who want to arm themselves preventively in the event of finding themselves in a bully's reticle.

It is also addressed to managers who want to know how to identify and stop bullying. And I'll show you why and how a bully tries to influence you in his favor and get you on his side.

This book is a declaration of war against all bullies.

It is intended to motivate you, dear readers, to take up the fight against these tormentors, even if it is grueling and rocky, frightening, and nerve-racking. But if the bullying victim clears the field and leaves it to the bully, the bully has usually achieved their goal.

The tips can basically be applied to any bullying situation, even if my own story primarily involves bullying by superiors (so-called bossing).

In this book I give you detailed, targeted tips on how to implement an anti-bullying strategy or how to punish bullying, regardless of its stage.

This book will provide you with an in-depth structure for successfully defending yourself, obtaining appropriate compensation, and how to stop the bully.

This involves important and necessary procedures for securing evidence, as well as the choice of lawyer. A bullying process is busy and the target of the bullying, or the bullying victim, has the burden of proof in Germany2. Then it is crucial to have the right legal support, but many lawyers shy away from this effort.

In addition, in my own experience, you can hardly rely on witnesses. The only person you can really rely on is yourself. Hopefully you will find supporters. I did that too. It is extremely unlikely that the entire workforce will support the bully.

But no one can take the burden of securing evidence away from you. And almost no one can dissuade the bully from you so that he leaves you alone and gives up his plan. That's why you must make sure your strategy works.

I will introduce my bullying boss, Rodoschie, in more detail in Chapter 5.1. Until then, the name should be enough. My personal bullying case was particularly difficult. Because he is an American citizen, it was not as easy for me to legally pursue him as it would have been if he was German.

Grand opening

The Dark Knight Rises

I'm swinging in my hammock and should feel overchallenged by being underchallenged. Underchallenged because my boss bullied me away from my job and I am condemned to do nothing. Even though I was released with full pay, it felt like my engine would break at 100 mph on the highway while bypassing others.

The overchallenge arises from: “How to deal with it?” I'm not ready for a relaxed retirement yet and would still have liked to feel a little more speed, especially on the home stretch.

But the overchallenge caused by the underchallenge does not exist for me. Because my task hasn't been completed yet. I do what I have to do, without resentment or thoughts of revenge, but with the clear goal of ultimately stopping a narcissistic bully.

Not for me!

Not even for the mission.

This responsibility has been taken away from me.

But there is a social responsibility, and always a way to achieve a goal. So, I am writing a book on my smartphone while swinging in the hammock.

Scarecrow3 Rodoshee, watch out! Your Batman4 is coming!

Letter to Rodoshee

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to write this book about your bullying behavior. I congratulate you because you have wiped out more than 23 years of hard work to improve the organization. In terms of management, through your toxic leadership, you returned the Directorate of Public Works (DPW) to the Stone Age.

Interestingly, I am primarily to blame for this, as I played a key role in protecting this part of the company from being outsourced to contract companies between 2001 and 2003. And it has been proven that an in-house workforce is more efficient and more cost-effective. Of course, only under appropriate leadership - definitely not yours. Without my initiative at the time, there would have been no worthwhile position for you in the DPW and we would have been spared of you.

Listing all the evidence of your bullying is beyond the scope of my book, as you have been very diligent in this regard. But it wouldn't be right to keep your illegal activities from the public. Honor to whom honor is due!

Rainer Kreer

Deputy Director (off-duty)

B4 Rodoshee

Introduction

I am a mechanical engineer for process engineering, with a focus on energy and supply technology. My degree is equivalent to a master's degree. I am also the father of three children and married for the second time. Three days a week I provide nursing and support to my almost 90-year-old mother.

In 1989, I took a job with the U.S. Army in Bekay as a project engineer in the Directorate of Engineering and Housing (DEH). This part of the Garrison was responsible for the property management and maintenance of all barracks, mission facilities, and living areas within the Garrison’s footprint. There were managers, various office and administrative employees, engineers, technicians, foremen and workers: electricians, metal workers, masons, painters, sign makers, roofers, steam fitters, plumbers, heating and air conditioning technicians, gardeners, road builders , etc. – everything you need to manage buildings and outdoor facilities and keep them intact.

Over the years (1992) I was promoted to division chief and finally, at the end of 1997, I became Technical or Deputy Director of the now renamed Directorate of Public Works (DPW) at the U.S. Army Garrison Bathe-in-meadow.

My promotions were always based on good performance. This principle is common but ineffective. As I quickly discovered, a good engineer is different from a good supervisor and manager. This is a job that needs to be learned first, which in Germany today still isn't easily possible.

It is not an explicit subject of study at any school in Germany. In addition, you need certain social requirements to develop skills in personnel management. Self-reflection became the key for me. Am I doing the right things to achieve the goals set? Was I doing these things right? Did I behave correctly and appropriately towards the employees? How could I improve myself?

It was much later, in 2016, that I received confirmation that I was doing it right when the coach of an in-house management training course formulated the following principle for leaders:

“You are a supervisor at all times!”

I did my own tests in this regard, for example by using a quiz at a supervisors' summit to ask which person drives which car5. Although my vehicle was not a spectacular luxury or racing car, but an average Mitsubishi SUV, the statistical analysis clearly proved that the higher you are in the hierarchy, the more people know which car you drive. You are the focus; you are seen, and you automatically must act as a role model: Leading by example!

It's not cool when people say that the boss picked his nose or doesn't follow traffic rules. In addition, violations of the rules generally produce imitators.

A Commander I greatly admired, Colonel C., once said, “Every time you break a rule, you set a new standard.”

How do you see that?

What importance do rules have for you?

Are they just there to break them?

My point of view: Rules are there to be followed. We, as a society, give ourselves these rules for a reason. But no rule - unlike the Ten Commandments - is set in stone. Society is changing and the rules may need to be adjusted. But we can only decide on the rules that we ourselves have made. For others, we can merely request a rule change.

If we make the decision to break an existing rule, we must accept the consequences. This can be punishment, or it can be imitation by other people, which we can then no longer get under control ourselves.

The control function for compliance with rules and laws was explicitly anchored in my position description.

When someone asked me what my job was, I typically gave them two answers.

1. I am the buffer between the workforce and the frequently changing Director. I ensure continuity.

2. The Director presents the DPW to the outside world and determines the rough course in coordination with the Garrison Command. I ensure that the business runs smoothly so that the goals can be achieved. He is the foreign minister; I am the interior minister.

Organizational Hierarchy

According to my job description, I was an almost 100 percent independent employee who had the task of running the Directorate together with the Director. This made me a universal constant, almost like a law of nature. The only control of my work was the achievement of large-scale goals. The „how“ was my business. The responsibility involved was enormous and only idealistic people are good and unselfish stewards in this position.

The Cast

I preferred an intuitive leadership style and relied on teams to achieve operational improvements. We had established two of them, the DPW Vision Group and the A-Team.

The first mentioned consisted of eleven employees, from various levels and divisions of the Directorate, and one member of the works council. The group's task was to listen to the workforce to identify areas for improvement. Conversely, the team compiled important information for the staff so that they had sufficient knowledge about what was happening in the Garrison.

Communication is key!

The A-Team, on the other hand, consisted of four people, including me, and was the engine that forced the desired improvements to happen, with a lot of energy. Although I’m a non-smoker and didn't have a cigar, I was Hannibal and I loved it when a plan worked. And we also had our Howling Mad6 , B.A.7 and Face8. Even though the fear of flying was with the latter.

We formed under the previous Director Ejay and put an extraordinary amount of energy into a positive and motivating working environment and the professional development of the company.

At that time, I had no idea that our Howling Mad would change under the influence of dark forces and turn against me.

He is someone with a thirst for action and likes to throw himself into adventures. This was a good characteristic for the engine. It brought a lot of momentum to further development. On the other hand, he was of no use at all for sustainability. If you didn't lead him, he would destroy many things again through a number of negative characteristics (ignorance, lack of understanding, inability, carelessness, untruth, disloyalty, and hunger for power).

There are roughly three leadership approaches in business management: authoritarian management style, persuasive management style and paternalistic leadership style, from which ten different variants can be derived.9

Unfortunately, I didn't realize myself what all the management professionals in the world had previously overlooked - there is another leadership style: The party management! Invented by our Howling Mad, which is why I, from now on, refer to him as the Party Animal.

A party manager generally only hires people with whom he would party or have après ski. The selection criteria are therefore not professional qualifications. You can be flexible there. But it depends on how good-looking, sexy, hard-drinking, funny or loud someone can be. Funnily enough, the Party Animal himself is more of a reserved drinker and his vanity wouldn't allow his carefully cultivated bodybuilder figure - which actually doesn't seem to be pumped up too much - to be damaged by excessive eating and drinking. Which doesn't mean that he's similarly reserved when it comes to fucking. And that's exactly where you must cut a good figure of course. Besides the fact that I have his psychological profile, there are enough stories and rumors about his escapades. As we all know, rumors always contain a grain of truth. With him there are more like two very thick grains between his legs. Does he know that injecting anabolic steroids can lead to premature impotence?

Their hiring of relatively to really good-looking women of younger to middle age - MILFs at most - into leadership positions, or even as their right hand, was definitely not due to any female quota. Such a concentration is rather unusual in technical areas of a company, as technology is still more of a male domain. And the Operations and Maintenance division, which it headed, was an example of this. We owe Cersei, the Dependent, the Reprimanding Crazy and various other ladies to their party management. But of course, not all of them were negative.

Colonel Doubleyou was an important character in the game. I originally liked him. But he ensured that this changed through his protectionism. Do you think the term was chosen incorrectly? Maybe not an exact match, but what was he doing? He protected his incompetent compatriot from a more capable foreign person.

Colonel Doubleyou investigated my bullying complaint in a very personal but amateurish manner. He interviewed various people, including the Party Animal who put on their dog and pony show - that's how they even called it themselves - and sold everything to the Commander as being great.

You want more carnage, bloodlust, mercilessness, destruction?

This sneaky Party Animal monkey ass, whose balls were definitely bigger than their brain, had asked me to do something about "Rodo-sheer-incompetent"10 because even they noticed that he was just causing chaos and damage. With this they glossed over the bullshit and made the Commander believe it was a piece of cake. At least the consistency of this mass was suitable for toothless people. Have a good meal!

It was the first time that Party Animal stabbed me in the back. If only I had recognized this as a clear betrayal back then. Venom11 would probably have exploded out of me, bellowed: “Let there be Carnage!”12, bitten their head off or eaten them whole.

Hold it! No! Script back!

My Venom would have bitten their f…king balls off.

Through the trivialized, soft-spoken statements made by the Party Animal and various other people with an addiction to profile and/or with a pudding-hard backbone, Colonel Doubleyou concluded that the “disputes” between me and Rodoshee were based on misconduct on both sides. He was only too happy to rely on this indefensibly stupid talk instead of examining my clear written evidence more thoroughly.

I still deny that the Party Animal had the intelligence to have deliberately initiated any of the developments that were taking place at the time. That was entirely Rodoshee's work. His plan to get rid of me came to a halt when Colonel Doubleyou kindly spread his protective cloak over me. But because a little blood was dripping from my little finger at that time, Party Animal's lust for power picked up the scent and set course for my throne, like the much-feared great white shark. During my last WhatsApp chat with them, I wrote: “You are so strangely quiet, my friend”. Then there was even more silence, like in a submarine waiting for a sonar pulse that hopefully wouldn't happen because that would have meant discovery. Then, at some point, such a meaningless answer - which is not worth writing here - came back very cautiously. Yes, traitors begin to remain silent when they realize that their actions have been seen through.

Cersei, who I call after a schemer from “Game of Thrones”, was given special rights by the Party Animal from the start. She teleworked from home for two to three days although this was not officially permitted at that time. Simple craftsmen had to run a double household because they lived too far away for commuting each day. But poor Cersei was not expected to make the long journey to work as often. Sure, her huge SUV ate up a lot of fuel and home office is very effective when you have to manage a group of foremen and craftsmen.

Due to certain inconsistencies in her application documents, I asked the higher-level recruitment office, CPAC, at some point, for proof of her qualifications. I was refused the answer for the very first time in my career as Deputy Director. And that even though I was entitled to the answer due to my position. Had anyone managed through genetic manipulations to cross a skunk with an eagle? In any case, it stank to high heaven!

B.A. was the Party Animal's deputy during the A-Team era. He combined specialist knowledge and leadership skills and engaged in self-reflection that was evident and out of his own interest. From mid-2020 to February 2021, he was suddenly bullied by the Party Animal because they really wanted to position Cersei as their deputy. Rodoshee had already taken away my powers by this time and so I failed trying to stop it. B.A., however, had his own strategy. He moved to an equal position outside of DPW, partly to gain a broader background too. In this way he avoided the perceived degradation and evaded the bully. I'll call him Monte Christofrom now on.

Emcee was the first operations officer. The previous Director Ejay and I had hired him so that we could have relief at our level. A kind of highly paid secretary who could, and was allowed to, act independently after the goal or direction had been determined. I personally appreciated Emcee. He is intelligent, always focused on the matter and humane. He knew my competence, was able to assess my abilities and never opposed me.

One day he came to me on his own initiative and said that he didn't think it was right what Rodoshee was doing to me. In this conversation he referred to him as “Glory Boy”. According to his definition, these are people who constantly demand fame and honor for themselves, whether they deserve it or not. That matched my assessment: a narcissist!

Pit Bullbecame Emcee's successor. The name is program.13 With blinkers, almost blind, a former soldier who couldn't get rid of this behavior even as a civilian. Every attempt to appeal to his reason failed. He was obedient to Rodoshee and over time he increased his aggressiveness against me. He observed the disrespect which I showed towards Rodoshee due to his bullying without realizing the reason. Finally, he ended up attacking me, even though I was his superior.

Switzerland is the head of the Business Operations and Integration Division, originally our “Face” during A-Team. Ejay and I hired him together too. Very professional, competent, and with the will to lead. Actually, he would have been predestined to succeed me, but over time he revealed a weakness that I absolutely didn't like. People are not important to him. Accordingly, he behaved simply neutral like Switzerland, conflicted between me as the person who hired him and Rodoshee as the boss. I couldn't really expect support from him. He would never be able to fill my buffer function with this behavior. But at least he didn't refuse to talk to me.

Evita is another division chief. She is competent, has grown in her position and cares about her employees. She has strong empathy. I assume that some statements she makes apparently without thinking are happening with full intention.

Athos is the chairman of the works council. He is the ideal choice for a works council chairman. With his alert and analytical mind, he understands things, situations, and people. He consistently advocates for the latter, without losing sight of the fact that freeloaders and slackers damage the overall reputation of the workforce. Accordingly, he is always willing to work productively with the Garrison leadership but can also bare his teeth if anyone doesn’t play by the rules. Therefore, it is useless to explain why he stood behind me.

Athos wanted me to use a cool synonym for him. Actually, he was thinking about D'Artagnan, but I decided that this was a better fit for his somewhat hot-headed partner and because Athos used to be the leader of the musketeers. The two of them were able to play “good cop, bad cop” very well. They have always been a valuable support for me.

The Reprimanding Crazy managed to write twelve warnings to the same employee without any consequences believing that she was doing a good job. But maybe she's just a dominatrix: Sharp frame, clothing always traced as close as possible to skin. With swinging hips, she torments her victim with many small stabs and lashes. Of course, you can't kill the victim, otherwise you won't enjoy the next S&M action. You can't ride a dead horse.

The Dependent constantly sits on her senior companion's lap holding hands. Without reassurance, she doesn't seem to be able to make any decisions. Even though I suggested to her that she shouldn't sign the documents of the Reprimanding Crazy as an employer's representative because it would make her look ridiculous, she gave in to the pressure from above and signed every time. Consequences? None! Not in any direction! "Wake up! You have more potential. But go into the right direction.”

M. - What M is in the James Bond movies was our M. for all Garrison management in Europe: the responsible regional Director and head of all Garrison Commanders. Everyone stood at attention in front of him. I'm assuming most of his double zero agents weren't real zeros, but there was at least one exception.

Colonel 00? – The successor to Colonel Doubleyou. The double-zero agent, where they had probably forgotten the third digit. Or did he get a third zero at his promotion ceremony to Colonel? Either he's been kept out of everything, or he really is as low profile as he appears. When I congratulated him shaking hands felt like I was holding a dead fish in my hand.

Oh, that's where the saying comes from: “I shook his fin.”

Maoriwas Deputy Commander under Colonel Doubleyou: smart, energetic, fair and with his heart in the right place. He probably still had a lot to learn, but in the long term he would definitely not have allowed the bullying and would have looked for a real solution.

Emjay became Deputy Commander after Maori. It wasn't just his image that changed from a beacon of hope to a hot-air merchant, a weathervane, and an insulted liverwurst. By his own admission, he only did the job because someone kicked his ass and told him to do so. He never made unpleasant decisions that would have required him to be steadfast. At some point you definitely couldn't take him seriously anymore. But someone like that is in charge and is supposed to guide employees to do a good job. Where do his obviously non-existent qualifications come from?

At a ceremonial commendation: Would you ask an employee whose hand the Region Director and the Garrison Commander had just shaken: “How did you get this award? You are only doing... blah, blah, blah.” Someone deserves an award and then this air polluter just flushes all the pride and belief down the drain. Appreciation? None! What motivation is left with the employee after this?

The following sentence from him remains most clearly in my memory: “Sometimes your best friend becomes your worst enemy.” He was right, even if I didn't consider colleagues to be friends in that sense. At the time I related his statement to the Party Animal, but ultimately it also applied to himself. Out of convenience, he changed sides faster than the Party Animal changed his desires.

Not to miss the Court Jester: Loud, contentless and mostly busy with personal things. For him, the job is just a hobby and a self-service shop. If you don't see him smoking in the yard, you can hear him so clearly that it's almost impossible to make a mistake in locating him. “Mama Laudaaa” sends her regards.14

Unfortunately, I can't thank all my supporters by name here, but rest assured, none of you are forgotten, not even the most inconspicuous one in the farthest corner.

Rough Leadership Overview

1.What you need to knowabout bullying

1.1 What is bullying?

Let's assume that you have been working at the same company for a long time. Let's further assume that your skills and experience make you successful and valued in what you do and how you do it. You may have even become the ultimate expert by now. And then, despite everything, you are unexpectedly sidelined and declared public enemy number one.

The first important question that arises for you:

What is going on here?

My answer is: you are probably being bullied.

In the following I would like to define the term bullying based on its characteristics, how it presents itself and why it is so difficult to recognize and combat. I also prefer to use the term target person instead of bullying victim, because someone only becomes a victim when he/she has suffered harm, or the bully has achieved his goal. The transition from target person to victim can be fluid. But not every scratch can be viewed as damage. You simply must be able to endure minor injuries in your professional life.

1.1.1 Bullying is rarely obvious

Bullying is characterized by deceit: spreading lies and rumors, poking fun, ridiculing, unsettling, exclusion, circumcision, fraud and sabotage, threats, etc...

Does that sound like openness to you?

Bullying is the method used by cowards and incompetents to either gain power over people or to push them out of their environment.

It doesn't matter whether a person bullies out of cowardice or out of incompetence because they are unable to impose their will on another...

Bullying is antisocial behavior!