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Some experiences leave scars that no one can see – but those affected feel them every day. This collection of poignant case histories takes the reader right to the heart of the darkest moments of human experience: the feeling of helplessness, the overwhelming fear, the echo of a horror that will not go away. Whether it's a child who fears the dark after a single fateful hour, a young woman who is no longer the same after an accident, or a man whose past keeps catching up with him – each story is real, deeply moving and shows how the invisible can shape our lives. But this book is not just about trauma; it is also about the strength to move on. It is about small steps out of fear, about people who face up to their past, and about the hope that exists even in the deepest darkness. A book that touches, shakes up and lingers – because the scars of the soul affect us all.
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Seitenzahl: 204
Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2025
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MIRA VALEERON
When trauma speaks...
22 narrative case studies with analytical consideration
Contents
Introduction
What is trauma anyway?
How does trauma occur?
Situations that can trigger trauma
Why do people react differently to traumatic experiences?
What effects can trauma have?
How can trauma be overcome?
What happens during a trauma - neurobiological connections explained simply
How can I integrate what I have experienced into my everyday life and deal with it?
Dealing with flashbacks and intense feelings: Developing strategies
Those affected tell...
The narrative case analysis
A silent scream
The last letter
The extinguished fire
The shadow inside me - Sophie's story
When the night never ends - Paul's story
Marius and the pain that had no cause
The bird that dared to fly
Unwanted - The burden that never got lighter
The waves carry you on
(Elena, 27 years old)
The suicide of Markus
Glass splinters
In the shadow of Sarah
Bettina's dramatic rescue
The ruins of life
The long way out of the sect
In the mirror of expectations
Is it all just a lie?
The story of Jannik
Helmut and the shadows of the night
The sound of the brakes
Locked in the dark
The plunge into darkness
Caught in the fire
Closing words - The scars of the soul and the power of healing
Introduction
What is trauma anyway?
Everyone experiences difficult times in their lives - moments full of fear, pain or despair. However, some experiences are so overwhelming that they leave deep scars on the soul.
Trauma is just that: a psychological injury caused by an extremely stressful or threatening event. Such experiences can shake a person's world from one moment to the next and completely destroy their sense of security and control.
But trauma is not just a memory of a bad event - it changes how we feel, think and react. It can shake our trust in others, put our bodies on permanent alert and affect our lives in ways we don't always immediately understand. Some people develop severe anxiety or sleep problems, others feel empty inside and cut off from the world. Some react with anger, others withdraw. The special thing about trauma is that it not only hurts during the experience itself, but also becomes deeply rooted in the body and mind.
Not everyone processes a traumatic experience in the same way. What is shocking but still "bearable" for one person can leave a deep wound for another. This depends on many different factors - for example, previous experiences, age, personal resilience and, last but not least, whether there is support from family and friends.
Trauma comes in many forms. Some are caused by sudden, shocking events such as an accident, a natural disaster or an assault. Others develop slowly, over months or years - for example through abuse, violence or emotional neglect in childhood. Traumas that occur in close relationships are particularly profound because they shake the fundamental trust in other people to the core.
Trauma doesn't just affect the soul - it also has an impact on the body. Many people experience persistent stress after traumatic events, which can lead to sleep disorders, chronic pain or other physical complaints. This is because the nervous system remains on alert and is no longer able to rest properly.
But a trauma is not a lifelong judgement. It is a wound - and like any wound, it can heal. Healing is possible, but it takes time, patience and support. Through therapy, loving relationships and a mindful approach to oneself, those affected can learn to regain confidence and reclaim their lives bit by bit.
Overcoming a trauma does not mean forgetting the experience - it means finding a way to live with it without it defining the present.
How does trauma occur?
Trauma occurs when a person experiences a situation that is so stressful, overwhelming or threatening that it exceeds their ability to cope. It is not just about the objective event itself, but above all about the personal experience and the emotions associated with it. An event becomes traumatic when it triggers a strong feeling of helplessness, fear or loss of control.
You can think of it like a psychological shock: in normal stressful situations, we can calm ourselves down, find comfort or actively look for solutions. In traumatic experiences, however, our nervous system is literally "flooded" - the shock is so deep that the body goes into an extreme state of alarm.
If the strain is too great, our system can become overloaded and no longer return to its normal state. This then has long-term psychological and physical consequences.
Situations that can trigger trauma
Traumatic experiences can arise in many different situations. Some typical causes are
Sudden, unexpected events:
Traffic accidents or serious injuries.
Natural disasters such as earthquakes, floods or fires.
Sudden loss of a loved one.
Acts of violence, assaults or terrorist attacks.
Violence and abuse:
Physical or sexual violence, whether on a one-off basis or over a longer period of time.
Domestic violence, which is often associated with fear, insecurity and dependency.
Emotional violence such as humiliation, extreme control or manipulation.
Neglect and attachment trauma:
Children who grow up without emotional closeness and care often develop deep insecurities.
Neglect can be just as traumatising as active violence because the basic feeling of security is missing.
Parents who have been traumatised themselves can unconsciously pass on their fears and insecurities.
War, flight and heavy losses:
People who experience war, torture or displacement often lose not only their homes, but also their sense of security.
Fleeing is not only a physical challenge, but also a mental ordeal, often accompanied by fear, hunger and uncertainty.
The loss of a parent in childhood can deeply shake a child's sense of security.
Medical and birth trauma experiences:
Serious illnesses or emergency operations, especially if they are associated with severe pain or helplessness.
Traumatic birth experiences can leave deep scars on both the mother and the child.
Miscarriages or unexpected complications during pregnancy.
Repeated or prolonged stress:
Long-term stress that develops as a result of bullying, poverty or family conflicts.
People who repeatedly experience violence or abuse often develop a "complex trauma" that is more deeply rooted than a one-off shock experience.
If a threatening situation does not end, but continues for years, a feeling of hopelessness can set in.
Why do people react differently to traumatic experiences?
Not everyone who experiences a terrible event develops a trauma. There are several factors that determine how someone deals with a stressful situation:
Previous experience
People who have already experienced difficult or insecure times in their childhood are often more susceptible to traumatisation.
Personal resilience
Some people have greater psychological resilience and are able to stabilise more quickly after a crisis.
Social support
People who find support from family, friends or therapy after a bad experience are often better able to come to terms with what has happened.
Significance of the event
An accident can be "just a shock" for one person, while for someone else it shatters their sense of security forever.
Trauma is therefore not just a question of "what happened", but above all "how it was experienced" and what long-term consequences it has for the person.
What effects can trauma have?
The effects of trauma are profound and multifaceted. They affect not only the psyche, but also the body and a person's daily life. Trauma changes how we perceive ourselves and the world around us.
In many cases, the consequences are long-term and the effects can last for years or even decades. It is important to understand that these changes do not disappear in an instant - healing takes time and often professional support.
Psychological effects of trauma
Trauma can have a profound effect on the psyche and change the way a person thinks, feels and sees themselves. Often these psychological effects are subtle at first and only become apparent after a while, when the body and mind begin to "struggle" with the experience. The most common psychological consequences of trauma include
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD):
PTSD is one of the best-known and most common disorders following a trauma. It occurs when someone repeatedly experiences distressing memories after an extreme event, which manifest themselves in flashbacks, nightmares or constant reminders of the traumatic event.
The person feels like they are "back in the situation", as if they are reliving the trauma. These flashbacks can be so intense that they massively restrict the affected person's everyday life.
Other symptoms include emotional numbness, avoidance of situations reminiscent of the trauma and a general feeling of alienation from the world.
Anxiety and panic attacks:
Trauma intensifies the symptoms of anxiety. The person affected often has the feeling of being in constant danger, even if there is no threat. Panic attacks can occur suddenly and without warning.
These are often associated with physical symptoms such as a rapid heartbeat, trembling or shortness of breath and can significantly impair quality of life.
Depression and sadness:
Trauma can cause deep sadness and hopelessness. Those affected often feel cut off from the world and have difficulty experiencing joy. They may lose interest in activities they used to enjoy.
A constantly negative view of the future and the feeling of never becoming "normal" again are other common characteristics.
Dissociation:
Some people experience a kind of "splitting off" from themselves in order to cope better with the trauma. This is known as dissociation. At such moments, the person affected feels "like they are in a film", as if they are separated from their own reality.
Dissociation can also occur in the form of amnesia - the person forgets parts of the traumatic event or entire periods of life.
Low self-esteem and feelings of guilt:
Trauma related to abuse or violence in particular often leads to a distorted self-image. Those affected often feel guilty or responsible for what happened to them. They think they should have behaved differently to prevent the trauma. This can severely affect their self-esteem and lead to constant inner self-criticism.
Physical effects of trauma
Trauma not only affects the psyche - the body also reacts to the stress. The nervous system and physical reactions can be permanently altered.
The most common physical effects include
Chronic stress and overactivation of the nervous system:
A traumatic experience puts the autonomic nervous system on permanent alert. This means that the body is constantly in "flight or fight mode", even if there is no real danger.
This constant state of alert is not only exhausting, but can also have long-term effects on the body. People who have experienced trauma often suffer from chronic stress, sleep disorders, irritability and a generally high level of tension.
Sleep disorders:
Many traumatised people have difficulty resting at night. They experience nightmares, suffer from insomnia and have the feeling that they never really sleep "relaxed". This in turn increases physical exhaustion and psychological stress.
Physical pain:
Physical complaints that have no organic origin often occur after a trauma. Many people suffer from chronic pain such as back pain or headaches, muscle tension or even digestive problems. This is often referred to as "somatisation", where the trauma is stored in the body and manifests itself as physical discomfort.
Disorders of the immune system:
The chronic stress caused by trauma can also weaken the immune system. This makes affected people more susceptible to infections, illnesses and chronic diseases.
Stress hormones such as cortisol can disrupt the normal functioning of the body and massively increase the risk of illnesses such as cardiovascular problems.
Effects on life and relationships:
The effects of trauma are not only internal - they also affect the way we interact with other people. Many people who have experienced trauma find that their lives have changed following the experience. The most common effects on social life include
Trust issues and relationship fears:
If the trauma was experienced in a close relationship (e.g. through abuse or betrayal), trust in other people can be severely shaken. Those affected often find it difficult to build or maintain relationships with other people for fear of being hurt or disappointed again. This can lead to loneliness and social isolation.
Avoidance behaviour:
People who have experienced trauma tend to avoid situations or places that evoke memories of the traumatic event. This can lead to them restricting their lives, undertaking fewer activities and withdrawing more and more from the world. This further isolates the trauma and makes the healing process more difficult.
Difficulties at work and in everyday life:
Trauma can also affect professional performance and daily tasks. The constant tension and stress caused by anxiety or depression often make it difficult to concentrate on tasks or cope with everyday working life. In some cases, this can lead to absenteeism or professional failure, which puts additional strain on self-esteem.
Survival mechanisms:
Some people develop coping strategies that are not helpful in the long term. These include behaviours such as excessive alcohol or drug consumption, compulsive eating or other addictive behaviours.
These strategies initially serve as an "escape" from the painful feelings, but do not offer a long-term solution and can even exacerbate the trauma.
Trauma leaves deep scars that affect many areas of life. The psychological, physical and social consequences can be interlinked and have a major impact on daily life.
But there is hope - trauma can be cured, even if the healing process is often lengthy and requires a lot of patience and support.
It is important to realise that every step towards recovery is valuable and that professional help and support from friends and family are crucial to finding your way back to a fulfilling life.
How can trauma be overcome?
Trauma is not just something you "get over" - it is a wound that sits deep in the soul, and healing does not happen in an instant or with a quick trick.
It is a long, often painful process that is not written in a textbook, but in real experience from person to person. Overcoming a trauma is not so much a goal that is reached, but a path that is travelled step by step - and this path is anything but straight.
There is no "recipe" for healing. But there are ways that can help people to trust themselves again, to heal bit by bit and to overcome the darkness that the trauma has left behind.
But this path is not just a question of techniques or strategies, but of human connection, time and, above all, an unshakeable belief in oneself.
The power of acceptance and compassion:
Perhaps the very first step on the path to healing is the most difficult:
The acceptance:
It's the moment when you embrace everything you've been through and say to yourself: "It's okay to be the way I am right now."
Trauma leaves its mark, and that doesn't mean being weak or fragile - it means being human. This first step is not about denying or repressing the trauma. It's about giving yourself permission to be hurt without judging yourself for it.
True healing often only begins when we treat ourselves with the same care and patience with which we would treat a loved one who is suffering.
Sometimes it takes time to understand that it's okay to need time, that it's okay to feel insecure or helpless. We need to learn to treat ourselves with a compassion that helps us to stop adding to the wounds and recognise that we are in a process of healing.
Accept help and open up:
One of the biggest mistakes many traumatised people make is trying to cope with everything alone. The shame that comes with trauma can be so overwhelming that you withdraw from others for fear of not being understood or being seen as 'weak'.
But the path to healing leads through what scares us the most:
The connection:
True healing does not happen on our own. It happens when we find the courage to open up - be it to a therapist, a friend or even a complete stranger. It's not about putting all the burden on the other person, but rather about feeling seen and heard.
When we share our story - without shame, without fear, without the feeling of being judged - we often find not only support, but also a deep connection with others who carry similar wounds.
Sometimes it's others who show us the truth: "You're not alone. You are not broken. You are a person who has gone through a terrible experience, but you are not just that experience."
The path of time and patience:
Healing takes time. It is not a linear process and it often feels like falling back into darkness before taking another step forward . But it is in these moments that true strength lies - in moving on, even when it is hard. Every day may feel like a struggle, but even the smallest progress is progress.
A good day is a day on which you perhaps accept yourself a little more or remind yourself that you are still capable of experiencing small pleasures.
A difficult day is a day when you still remember that it's okay to fall and get up again.
Healing is not about forgetting the trauma. It is about integrating the pain and giving it a place in your own history.
This does not mean that the pain will ever disappear completely - it will remain a part of us, but it does not have to define us. Over time, we learn to accept the pain in such a way that it no longer prevents us from continuing to live life to the full.
Self-care and mindful living:
The journey of healing requires a willingness to take care of yourself, with a loving focus on your own needs. Self-care is not just an empty buzzword, but a practice that is deeply rooted in healing.
At first, it can feel like an act of rebellion against trauma to allow ourselves to enjoy, live and grow. But it is precisely in these moments when we allow ourselves a bit of joy - be it through small time-outs, a good conversation, a warm bath or the courage to go outside - that we experience healing.
Another important aspect of healing is mindful living.
Mindfulness is not just a method - it is an invitation to live in the here and now without constantly thinking about the past or fearing the future. It's about feeling the moment, recognising your own feelings and your own body without judging them.
In mindfulness, we learn to embrace ourselves, even if we still bear scars.
The importance of hope and reorientation:
Healing is also not a return to what was. It is not striving for a "perfect" version of ourselves that has never been hurt.
Rather, it is about reorientation. The question is not how we can undo the trauma, but how we can find meaning and joy in life again, even if life never feels quite the same again.
The path of healing means rewriting one's own life story, with the wounds and the wisdom they have left behind.
Hope is the key. Even if the darkness seems overwhelming, even if the road is long and rocky - hope is the spark that lets us rise again.
Hope is not the naivety of believing that the pain will disappear, but the conviction that we are able to find a little light in the darkness, day after day.
Overcoming trauma is a profoundly human experience. It is a process that invites us to find ourselves as we navigate through the pain. It is a journey of healing, of returning to ourselves - not through perfection, but through the acceptance of our imperfections and our ability to rise again and again.
And at the end of this journey is not only the overcoming of the trauma, but the discovery of a new, stronger and more deeply connected version of ourselves.
What happens during a trauma - neurobiological connections explained simply
Trauma is not just an emotional or psychological experience, but also has profound effects on our brain and body. The way our brain reacts to a traumatic event can help us understand why trauma can have such profound and long-lasting consequences.
The neurobiological processes that take place during a trauma are complex, but I will try to describe them here in simple terms in order to understand why trauma can become so deeply embedded in us.
The stress and alarm mechanism: the "fight-or-flight" response
When we are exposed to danger - whether physical or psychological - our body reacts immediately to protect us. This automatic reaction is controlled by the limbic system of our brain, in particular by a structure called the amygdala, which functions like an 'alarm centre'.
The amygdala:
It is our "emotional centre" and recognises threats. As soon as a threat is perceived, the amygdala immediately triggers the "fight-flight-freeze" mechanism. This means that it switches off other, less vital functions of the body and channels all its energy into an immediate response to the threat.
The amygdala ensures that we either flee (flight), defend ourselves (fight) or fall into a state of complete numbness (freeze) - depending on what the body considers to be the most sensible response to the threat at that moment.
The sympathetic nervous system:
This reaction is controlled by the sympathetic nervous system, which is part of our autonomic nervous system. It ensures that our body is put into "fight or flight mode": The heart rate increases, the breathing rate accelerates, the muscles tense up, the blood pressure rises - all this happens so that we can act quickly. This is known as the stress response.
The role of the hippocampus - memory and orientation:
The hippocampus is the region of the brain responsible for memory, especially long-term memory and space-time orientation. It helps us to store and organise experiences so that we can remember them later. However, the function of the hippocampus can be disrupted during a traumatic event.
Suppression of memory:
When a trauma is experienced, the hippocampus cannot categorise all the details of the event as usual. The extremely strong activation of the amygdala and the overwhelming fear mean that the memory of the trauma is not stored in the normal way. Instead, the events are fragmented and transferred to a kind of "emotional or body memory", which leads to the trauma being relived later as a flashback or sudden, intense feeling.
The effect on the learning process:
Trauma can cause the hippocampus to have difficulty processing new information or experiences properly, which in some cases leads to memory impairment or disorientation.
This means that the person affected may have difficulty distinguishing between the traumatic experience and the present.
Cortisol - the stress hormone:
When the brain perceives a threat, the adrenal cortex is activated, which releases cortisol, a hormone that prepares the body for stress and danger.
In small amounts, cortisol is helpful as it provides energy and prepares the body for a quick reaction.
Long-term stress and cortisol:
During a traumatic experience, a large amount of cortisol is produced to activate the body. However, with repeated or extreme stress, as is the case with trauma, too much cortisol is released. In the long term, this high level of cortisol can damage the hippocampus and impair its ability to support healthy memory processes.
This explains why traumatised people often suffer from memory problems, difficulty concentrating or excessive alertness.
The autonomic nervous system and the freeze response:
The autonomic nervous system controls many unconscious processes in our body, including breathing, digestion and the heartbeat. It has two main branches that are closely linked to traumatic experiences:
Sympathetic nervous system
Becomes active when we go into "fight or flight" mode.
Parasympathetic system:
This branch is used when the body falls into a state of exhaustion or the "freeze" reaction - the so-called "shock paralysis".
In the event of an extremely stressful trauma, our body may "freeze" (the "freeze" reaction). In this state, we may feel motionless, overwhelmed or paralysed, and our ability to make rational decisions is severely restricted.
This reaction is a natural protective measure aimed at minimising the threat by making oneself invisible or "playing dead".
Long-term effects on the brain and body
Trauma leaves deep traces in the brain that can remain visible long after the event. Chronic stress, especially from repeated traumatic experiences, can permanently change the brain in various ways:
Shortening of the hippocampus
Studies show that people with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) often have a reduced size of the hippocampus. This can lead to long-term memory and learning disorders.
Altered amygdala activity
The amygdala is often overactive in traumatised people. This means that the brain remains in a constant state of alert, even if there is no longer a threat.
This explains why traumatised people often react very sensitively to potential threats and quickly feel overwhelmed in stressful situations.
Physical effects
Chronic stress and the constant release of cortisol can weaken the immune system and lead to increased susceptibility to illness.
The risk of cardiovascular disease also increases, as the body is constantly in "alarm mode" and important regeneration processes are hindered as a result.
Resilience and the possibility of healing:
