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Joe Mechlinski

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Beschreibung

Why blend in when you were born to stand out?

Who Says? Question Everything and Discover the Genius of Thinking Differently is a manifesto for those who refuse to live life on autopilot. This book dares you to ask the questions no one else is asking, to defy the gravitational and seductive pull of the status quo, and to embrace a life of authenticity and boundless innovation.

An invitation to venture into the unknown and transform you from a mere reader into a trailblazer, you'll learn about the grounding-breaking spaces of psychedelic therapy, the transformative powers of artificial intelligence, and the dismantling of outdated workplace hierarchies. This book is your companion in uncharted territory, where the only rule is to question everything.

Inside this book you'll find powerful ideas for:

  • Living Disruptively: Embrace disruption as a catalyst for living with purpose, energy, and inspiration. This book guides you to a life by design, not default.
  • Finding Your True North: Discover how to identify and align with your core values, transforming them into a compass that guides you through life's storms.
  • Cultivating Personal Sovereignty through Creativity: Learn how deliberate creative acts can anchor your personal sovereignty, turning everyday actions into powerful statements of autonomy and originality.


Who Says?
is your invitation to a journey of discovery and defiance. Designed for the visionaries, the rebels, the entrepreneurs, the executives, the innovators, the dreamers, and the creators, Who Says? is a reflection of the boundless potential lying within you, unexplored. It's for the new generation of leaders who are not afraid to question everything and lead with their inner guidance.

Learn to not just question the world around you, but find the courage to question yourself, to dig deep, and to emerge as the architect of your own destiny.

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Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2024

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Table of Contents

Cover

Table of Contents

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

History Is Happening

Work Isn't Working

The Future Is Even More Uncertain

Introduction

Who Says … The Future of Work Can't Be More Human, Not Less?

Who Says … Work Has to Suck?

Who Says … My Company

Won't Change?

Who Says … Work and Business Are Not Personal?

Who Says … You Need a Personal Legacy?

Chapter 1: A Life of Disruption

Part 1: Original Tracks: The Song in Your Heart

Part 2: What Game Are You Playing?

Chapter 2: Your Uni‐verse

Part 1: Changing My Stars

Part 2: True North

Chapter 3: Power Over and Under

Part 1: You Don't Belong Here

Part 2: The Power Inside

Chapter 4: Sovereignty Everywhere

Part 1: Impossible Decisions

Part 2: Personal Sovereignty

Chapter 5: Equity Unleashed

Part 1: Good for One, Good for All

Part 2: Show Me the Incentive

Chapter 6: The Market Never Sleeps

Part 1: For the Love of the Game

Part 2: It's Not Personal, It's Just Business

Chapter 7: Who Doesn't Love an Underdog?

Part 1: In the Room Where It Happened

Part 2: Will It Take a Miracle?

Chapter 8: The Awakening: An Invitation for Self‐Actualization

Part 1: Coming Home

Part 2: The Depths of Self

Chapter 9: What Say You?

Part 1: The Legend of Eddie

Part 2: The Dance with Infinity

Epilogue: In Truth, In Love

Notes

History Is Happening

Introduction

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Epilogue

Photo Gallery

Acknowledgments

About the Author

Index

End User License Agreement

List of Illustrations

Chapter 1

Figure 1.1 Modes of Thinking

Figure 1.2 The dot

Figure 1.3 The 25 reasons why

Chapter 2

Figure 2.1 True north

Figure 2.2 Emerson poem

Chapter 3

Figure 3.1 Network of nodes

Chapter 4

Figure 4.1 The feedback flywheel

Chapter 9

Figure 9.1 Our limited perspective

Guide

Cover

Table of Contents

Series Page

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

History Is Happening

Introduction

Begin Reading

Epilogue: In Truth, In Love

Notes

Photo Gallery

Acknowledgments

About the Author

Index

End User License Agreement

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Praise for Who Says?

“A perfect book for this time. Mechlinski firmly establishes himself as one of the top thought leaders of our era, effortlessly extending his methodology to the reader. This book is not only a must‐read but also a must re‐read, offering new insights with each encounter.”

—Jere Simpson,CEO of AtlasUP

“Who Says? not only asks the right questions but also gives fresh answers. This book challenges readers to embrace the power of having their own true north and honoring it. It gives readers the inspiration and the insight to step out of the herd, listen to your inner voice, and dare to chart an authentic path. You won't find the same old, same old advice. This is a guide—not a template—for anyone who wants to lead with authenticity and until now has felt like they were standing alone on an island trying to do it.”

—Gerry Sandusky,New York Times bestselling author and voice of the Baltimore Ravens

“Joe is one of those rare individuals with a heart as genuine as his mind is brilliant. Every time I'm around him, I learn something valuable—he has that effect on people. If you're looking for insights that challenge the norm and inspire real change, look no further. Joe is the real deal.”

—Garrett Gunderson,New York Times bestselling author of Killing Sacred Cows

JOE   MECHLINSKI

NEW YORK TIMES ESTSELLING AUTHOR

WHO SAYS?

Question Everything and Discover the Genuis of Thinking Different

 

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright © 2025 by John Wiley & Sons, Inc. All rights reserved, including rights for text and data mining and training of artificial technologies or similar technologies.

Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey.

Published simultaneously in Canada.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per‐copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, Inc., 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, (978) 750‐8400, fax (978) 750‐4470, or on the web at www.copyright.com. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, (201) 748‐6011, fax (201) 748‐6008, or online at http://www.wiley.com/go/permission.

Trademarks: Wiley and the Wiley logo are trademarks or registered trademarks of John Wiley & Sons, Inc. and/or its affiliates in the United States and other countries and may not be used without written permission. All other trademarks are the property of their respective owners. John Wiley & Sons, Inc. is not associated with any product or vendor mentioned in this book.

Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional where appropriate. Further, readers should be aware that websites listed in this work may have changed or disappeared between when this work was written and when it is read. Neither the publisher nor authors shall be liable for any loss of profit or any other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages.

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Library of Congress Cataloging‐in‐Publication Data

Names: Mechlinski, Joe, author.

Title: Who says? : question everything and discover the genuis of thinking

differently / Joe Mechlinski.

Description: Hoboken, New Jersey : Wiley, [2025] | Includes bibliographical

references and index.

Identifiers: LCCN 2024024139 (print) | LCCN 2024024140 (ebook) | ISBN

9781394265510 (hardback) | ISBN 9781394265534 (adobe pdf) | ISBN

9781394265527 (epub)

Subjects: LCSH: Self‐actualization (Psychology) | Creative thinking. |

Corporate culture.

Classification: LCC BF637.S4 M435 2025 (print) | LCC BF637.S4 (ebook) |

DDC 650.101/9—dc23/eng/20240627

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2024024139

LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2024024140

Cover Design: Paul McCarthy

Cover Art: © Getty Images | Oxygen

To my brother Eddie . . .

My heart breaks every day without you here. I miss you hard.

Thank you for being my first best friend, my 24‐hour person, and my North Star.

You always had my back no matter what and taught me how to always find a way.

You lived life with a warrior spirit and the heart of a lion.

You taught me to be a man with honor, hustle, and heart.

You were an amazing dad, husband, son, brother, friend, and human being.

This one's for us.

History Is Happening

In the last half‐century, we've eclipsed the collective progress of the previous 250,000 years. Consider the journey from rotary phones to smartphones and the evolution from room‐sized computers to wearables on our wrists. This whirlwind of transformation means one generation has outpaced the achievements of the last 3,000. Read that again. The velocity of change is breathtaking, yet discerning the difference between the temptations to be resisted and opportunities to be seized remains an ever‐growing challenge.

Consider this: advancements in artificial intelligence (AI) are reshaping our reality, and UFO sightings challenge our understanding of the universe. Even our perception of cosmic history is in flux, with revelations suggesting the universe might be twice as old as previously believed.

“We have Paleolithic emotions, medieval institutions, and god‐like technology.”

— E. O. Wilson, Harvard professor and sociobiologist

Work Isn't Working

Here's the good news: the digital era promised a renaissance in the world of work. Then on March 16, 2020, the tables in the workplace flipped. For the first time, humans could work from anywhere on a global scale. The question is, are we ready to be “outdoor cats”?

We spend a third of our waking hours at work. Before the pandemic, more than 70% of the workforce felt disengaged.1 This disconnect has only deepened, giving rise to the “productivity paradox.” Although only 12% of executives believe their teams are productive, a staggering 87% of employees consider themselves highly productive.2 This gap highlights a growing divide in perceptions and experiences within the workplace.

“Work is love made visible.”

— Khalil Gibran, The Prophet

The Future Is Even More Uncertain

History's greatest minds, from Newton to Einstein, were far from right all the time. Our understanding of health, science, and technology is continually evolving, overturning long‐held beliefs about diet, medicine, and stress. Fat is good, sunscreen is bad, and we should jump in a cold plunge daily to live longer. At least, this is what we know to be true … for now.

“We drive into the future using only our rearview mirror.”

— Marshall McLuhan

Here are just a few quotes that, in hindsight, prove that no one knows anything. We are all just making this up moment by moment.

1899

“EVERYTHING THAT CAN BE INVENTED HAS BEEN INVENTED.” 

— Attributed to Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, US Office of Patents

1903

“THE HORSE IS HERE TO STAY, BUT THE AUTOMOBILE IS ONLY A NOVELTY  –  A FAD.” 

— Horace Rackham, Henry Ford's lawyer

1932

“THERE IS NOT THE SLIGHTEST INDICATION THAT NUCLEAR ENERGY WILL EVER BE OBTAINABLE. IT WOULD MEAN THAT THE ATOM WOULD HAVE TO BE SHATTERED AT WILL.” 

— Albert Einstein

1962

“WE DON'T LIKE THEIR SOUND, AND GUITAR MUSIC IS ON THE WAY OUT.”

— Decca Recording Co. rejecting The Beatles

1995

“THE INTERNET? WE ARE NOT INTERESTED IN IT.”

— Bill Gates, Microsoft

Who Says? is for those who have begun to suspect they've been playing the wrong game: the game of living someone else's life and not your own. It's a book for people who are tired of bad (business and life) advice. And it's a book for those who want to question the unquestionable.

We've all been there, hearing the same rules repeated to us over and over – by your parents, your teachers, your friends, society, and every organization or institution – about what it means to live a good life. This pervasive messaging shapes our perceptions, often leading us down paths that might not align with our truest selves.

A few of us have been lucky enough to find a noble endeavor that makes the world a better place for everyone. But even then, are we truly fulfilling our own desires, or are we simply fulfilling a role set out for us by society?

Most of us, however, get to the end of the journey, cross the finish line, and find ourselves feeling empty inside. This emptiness can be a powerful catalyst for change, prompting us to question the very foundations of our choices and motivations.

You might retire at 65 and finally get a chance to live life on your own terms but find you're too exhausted. This exhaustion is not just physical but often a reflection of a lifetime spent chasing externally imposed goals.

You might sell your company, knowing you got there on the backs of others. You might inherit a lot of wealth from someone else in a way you don't feel you earned or you can be proud of.

We have all had our own versions of moments when we realize we've been playing the wrong game, that, we picked the wrong pill from Morpheus (from the movie The Matrix), and we've been deluding ourselves into thinking this life is only about materialism, consumerism, getting more and more for “me.”

I want to invite you to join us in peeling back every veil, every layer, of what this whole game is about, specifically where we spend the majority of our time: in the game called work. This invitation is about more than just rethinking work; it's about rethinking life and our place in it.

Most of us spend our days racing to a job, to a place. We haven't even considered if it's something we really want to do with our lives. We haven't given ourselves permission to make different choices.

Most books dispensing advice are not hard to find. Success is traditionally viewed as a result of following certain rules and conventions, and these books go to great lengths to codify success. I should know; I wrote two before this one.

Do this to get promoted; do that to get a raise. Do this to be rich; do this to be happy. From dressing a certain way to using specific language to get what you want, we're often taught that sticking to the norm is the best and safest way to succeed.

I firmly believe most of the advice you'll find in these books is useless.

Why? Because human beings can be arrogant as fuck.

The moment we believe we've arrived and found the right way, we become fixated on the path we took as the only path possible – and we begin to tell others this is the right path for everyone.

This fixation can be dangerous, leading us to close off other possibilities and perspectives. I have been the receiver and sender of this type of advice. For those on the receiving end of this advice, it's all too easy to accept as truth.

Whether we like to admit it or not, we're used to being told what to do (and we might even like it that way). We say we want to have full autonomy, but the reality is we are finite beings living in an infinite and eternal universe. It's exhausting, and like a muscle, we need to build our capacity to find what's right for us and only us.

I truly believe most people have good intentions when they first step into leadership or a position of influence. But I think we tend to look at our “influencers” and collectively say “leading” has become one big strategic feedback loop focused on seeking an insatiable amount of attention and followers, a continuous cycle of “follow me, look at me.”

In other words, too many of our leaders promote their own methods as the best, only to get the attention, validation, and continued “presence” they need to feed the grist. The only thing you are doing by blindly following advice is feeding someone else's ego.

We've moved away from authenticity and slow progress in favor of the instant gratification we get from boasting about our accomplishments online and promoting ourselves endlessly.

Here's the other part of this we're not acknowledging: just because you climbed the mountain yourself doesn't mean you can teach others to do it. Michael Jordan – one of the greatest basketball players of all time – couldn't figure out how to coach.

Greatness in one area doesn't always translate to greatness in teaching or leading others.

High performers like Jordan struggle to unpack their own processes and understand how they might apply (or not apply) to another person. They often rely on signals and signs that work for them but probably are not helpful universally. Recognizing this limitation is key to understanding there's no one‐size‐fits‐all path to success.

So, after “advising” more than 600+ organizations for more than 20+ years, I've learned it's not about finding the way, or even finding a way, but truly finding your way. No one knows you better than you. Everything is situational. Everyone is different.

Although some best practices and guidelines can be helpful, oversimplified processes can suppress our creative impulse and teach us to depend on others to tell us what to do. This ultimately stifles personal growth and self‐discovery.

You're probably wondering how the hell I plan to write a book without actually giving advice on well‐being. Admittedly, this is a challenge. I think the answer is to share my experiences and the stories and experiences of others, what worked and what didn't work, and the questions we've never been able to answer.

It's an invitation, not a proclamation of the way (in my best Mandalorian voice).

This demands a higher level of integrity – no bullshitting you, the reader, into thinking I have all the answers or you're going to finish the book with a 10‐step plan in place.

I began writing this book at the start of the pandemic, a time of profound personal and global upheaval. I started with a writing partner with no script, no agenda, no structure, and just a vision for what Who Says? was all about.

After many life events, including the death of my college football coach, Jim Margraff; my high school football coach, Roger Wrenn; one of my all‐time favorite CEO clients, Pat Murphy; a few dear friends; both our pups of 15 years; and the sudden passing of my brother, Eddie, at age 50, it was time for me to bring this vision and story to life.

Eddie truly embodied this message in this book in his life and gave that gift to me. He was a rebel at heart, always looking to change not just the rules of the game, but the game itself. I will share more about him later in this book.

The time is ripe for a book like this. In the aftermath of the pandemic, many of us are reconsidering how we live, work, and play. The pace – and the pain – of change has never been more intense than it is right now. It makes sense that we revisit the way we spend our days. But it's not just the inflection point of the times we live in that is causing us to question common knowledge. Both research and lived experience are beginning to reveal that blindly following conventional wisdom can hinder progress and potential.

Too often, the best‐intentioned advice is the wrong advice.

Who Says? is a collection of personal experiences and counterintuitive ideas, covering topics from self‐actualization to challenging the assumptions of workplace norms. It's about saying what others aren't, exploring the power of personal guidance in the workplace, and challenging readers to rethink their entire human experience.

That in itself is not unusual; however, few folks are talking about the convergence of self‐actualization, civilization, dismantling of traditional power structures in the world of work, psychedelic therapy, AI, and yes, even aliens.

And for me … this book comes down to this quote:

“We teach what we need to learn; we create what we need to heal.”

— Richard Bach in his book, Illusions

Thank you for getting this far and letting me heal. I lay bare my ego, fears and failures, understandings, lessons, heart, and soul.

Peace and Love,

Joe

Introduction

Who Says … The Future of Work Can't Be More Human, Not Less?

In 1868, an American inventor Christopher Latham Sholes was granted the world's first patent for a typewriter.1 There was only one problem: it worked so well that people were typing so fast that it broke all the time. It took him nearly seven years to solve the problem. See, the original keyboard closely mirrored the pattern of letters from A to Z, making it too familiar for the users. Christopher stumbled on the most complex combination we now know as the QWERTY keyboard.

That's right, for the past 150+ years, we have been typing slower … not faster … on purpose!

This deliberate slowing down in typing speed is a metaphor for how often we are conditioned to operate within limitations, sometimes self‐imposed, without questioning their purpose or relevance.

In short, we've been working harder, not smarter.

Talk about another notion we have blindly accepted – retiring at 65.

This benchmark wasn't born out of consideration for human well‐being or productivity. Its origins can be traced back to the turn of the 20th century in Germany.2 The chancellor at the time found himself in the throes of a political rivalry, specifically with those over the age of 65. In a strategic move to edge out his competition, he introduced a law mandating retirement at 65, primarily to secure his position in the upcoming election.

This historical tidbit isn't just a quirky fact; it's a profound reminder of how arbitrary decisions and power plays often shape our professional lives.

It raises a critical question: why do we adhere to these benchmarks set for reasons unrelated to our personal growth or happiness? It's a compelling example of how we, as a society, often embrace norms without scrutinizing their origins or relevance to our current context.

That's right. Another notion we think nothing about but should.

But the one that really fires me up, especially as the dad of a 13‐year‐old daughter and 11‐year‐old son, is why we have school bells to tell kids when classes start and end.3

During the Industrial Revolution, a lot of us worked on factory floors. We were just starting to learn about how to condition behavior to increase productivity. Dr. Ivan Palov's famous experiment with the bell ringing and dogs had just come out. So, the powers that be decided to give it a try with our children. Bells in schools were initially designed to get kids ready to work on the factory floor and start them early by blindly accepting things the way they are.

This example is a reflection of how deeply ingrained and unexamined practices can dictate our daily lives, even in education. It stresses the importance of questioning and reevaluating the whys behind our routines and systems.

Why do I know these fun facts?

For the past 20+ years, I have been an entrepreneur, investor, author, advisor, and consultant for more than 600+ companies. After collecting more than 1 million data points (through surveys), do you want to know the number one problem?

Legacy thinking.

Despite what you have been told, the past does not equal the future. We have always done it this way is not a good excuse to stop innovating, evolving, and growing.

It's a fact, not a feeling, that we spend the majority of our time at work, and we all know it's broken.

Instead of waiting for the answers from experts like me, it's time to hold a mirror, ask questions, and reflect because the only voice and vote that matters is yours.

Who says how we do things has to stay the same? Not me, and hopefully not you.

So, let's start thinking differently …

Who Says … Work Has to Suck?

For the past 20 years, we have all heard the challenges:

Seventy percent of us are not engaged

4

Five generations with different values and approaches to work are trying to collaborate and move initiatives forward.

Mental health and burnout are all headed in the wrong direction.

Automation and AI are eating half of the workforce.

But for me, I have a very different relationship with “work.” See, it literally saved my life.

I grew up in the inner city of Baltimore during the early to mid‐1990s. In fact, when you say Baltimore, most people usually “know” it through the HBO show The Wire. Despite people's protestations to the contrary and trying to build Baltimore's brand past this popular show, I would say this is a very accurate depiction of my felt and lived experience daily.

Growing up, I went to Patterson High School, which is recognized as the worst high school in the entire state. We started with 965 freshmen and graduated 235 seniors. That's a 23% graduation rate.

I am not just lucky to be one of those 235. I'm also an example that it's not about where you start. You can change your stars. From high school, I went on to graduate and play football at Johns Hopkins University (more on this later).

So, how did I go from one of the worst environments to one of the best environments in the country?

Not legacy thinking, that's for sure. It was my dad. Watching how he approached work literally saved my life.

When my friend's parents, who worked at big manufacturing plants, lost their jobs to automation and offshoring, we were fortunate that he didn't. My dad's job was rough for the first 17 years of his career: hard, blue‐collar labor. Freezing in the winter and steamy in the summer. And you want to know what he didn't once do?

Complain. Like at all. Ever.

My life was easy compared to his. And yet, I would often hear him say this to me:

“Joe, I don't have to go to work. I get to!”

I get to? I get to work. I get to do performance reviews. I get to pay taxes??

This subtle shift – waking up to your own agency with appreciation – was a major awakening for me. At this moment in time, others are coming to the same realization.

It's a testament to the power of perspective. How we view our work, our choices, and our roles can fundamentally alter our experience of them.

Have you heard of the song by Johnny Paycheck, “Take This Job and Shove It”? Well, apparently, 40+ million people, or one‐fifth of the American workforce, joined that movement during the pandemic – the Great Resignation. For me, the Great Resignation felt more like the Great Awakening.

People are awakening to the idea that work is not a have‐to anymore. We have a choice. We always have. The pandemic just helped us slow down and see what really matters. Like my dad, we are beginning to listen with our hearts more than our heads and ask, Is today worth it?

This shift in perspective, from resignation to awakening, is not just about job satisfaction. It's a larger commentary on how we value our time, our contributions, and, ultimately, our lives.

That's right. Is it worth my actual life? We are thinking about work from a more human perspective, not less, with more heart, not less.

Who says work has to suck? Not me, and hopefully not you. The moment we start questioning these deeply ingrained norms is the moment we start opening doors to a more fulfilling and human‐centric world of work.

The second I introduce this “get to” versus “have to” mindset shift to people, they say, “Well, that sounds great, but my boss or company doesn't get it.”

Who Says … My Company Won't Change?

Harvard Business Review reported 70% of change initiatives fail in organizations.5 Want to know why?

Because we keep thinking work and life are happening to us versus for us.

One of my favorite quotes is “We shape buildings, and then they shape us.” If you look at most organizations, they are all shaped the same way – just like almost everything in civilization: a hierarchy, a pyramid. The shape of our structures is a forced function of our culture. This top‐down approach, especially in the work world, promotes an adult‐child relationship, subjugation, and victimhood.

It makes sense given how we parent and educate … and in the work world, it's pervasive. I see this mentality all the time in organizations. But, occasionally, we learn a lesson.

Back to March 16, 2020, when nearly every company made the same decision – to go against every fear‐based instinct of letting their people work from home, letting them work from anywhere.

Airbnb let their employees work from anywhere without adjusting pay as a thank‐you for their contributions during the pandemic.6 TowerPaddle Board has been working five‐hour days for years now with great success.7

We always could have made these decisions. These options were always available. What other options are we leaving on the table?

The future of work is in your hands. Your voice and vote matter. Do you want Friday off? Let's all make the decision and find a way to make it work.

It all starts with a simple question: who says?

The best way to predict the future is to create it. Let's cocreate this next version of work together. And to me, it starts with questions, not answers. Sounds personal, right? Well …

Who Says … Work and Business Are Not Personal?

How many times have you heard “it's just business, it's not personal”?

If we go back a couple of hundred years, before the Industrial Revolution, marketplaces and business would only happen one afternoon a week.

Thursday afternoon was “market day.” Everybody would get dressed up in their Sunday best and go to the market. It was an environment you didn't want to get too wrapped up in because it was full of snake oil salespeople shouting out exaggerated claims.

Everybody had the best of everything to sell and applied persuasive tactics to convince you. Persuasion and manipulation eclipsed truthfulness and honesty in the marketplace. At the end of the day, everybody would go home, not thinking about money or transactions for the rest of the week. After the Industrial Revolution and with the advent of factories, we became able to produce things in much larger quantities, and then we needed to sell them.

Today, some shops are open seven days a week, and the marketplace is active 24/7 with the internet. We are glued to devices that continuously shout advertising slogans at us and never let us escape the marketplace. We live permanently trapped in a transactional mindset.

The win‐at‐all‐costs mentality is finally starting to crack. The idea that human nature is to transact with each other is not our natural state. Business is personal because it's our life.

This is not a new conversation. In 2017, Google published its findings from Project Aristotle, where it studied hundreds of teams to understand the main driver of a high‐performing environment.8

The number one driver is psychological safety, not a pressure cooker. In an environment where people feel seen, safe, and supported, they ultimately feel like the team has their back. Sounds pretty personal to me.

Growing up on the streets, I can tell you there is no better feeling than having friends who have your back and will literally lie down in traffic or take a bullet for you.

There is an actual human on the other side of the computer screen. They have a story you know little about. The next chapter of the workplace can easily unfold with more humanity, not less.

Who Says … You Need a Personal Legacy?

Are we here to spread ideas and change the world? Most people think of personal legacy as putting our name on buildings, statues, and organizations.

But how about the example of MIT? Everybody has heard of the prestigious Massachusetts Institute of Technology, but very few people have heard of William Barton Rogers, who founded it in 1861. It was not named Rogers Institute, and so it was free to assume a living identity of its own.

And how about TED? Most people know this site, home to tens of thousands of inspirational ideas and talks, but many have no idea of its founder, Richard Saul Wurman.

Legacy is not what you do but what you help others to do.

I lost my mom when I was 23. She passed tragically at 44. Every day I get is a day she does not. It's a gift. Some would look at this as tragic, and there is a version of me that feels that. But what she helped me do is her legacy.

She was an amazing lady. Spiritual. Creative. Theatrical. Loving.

This is her legacy.

Today, I am here with you because of her sacrifices, sharing how we can bring more heart and humanity to the future of work and really consider where we spend all of our time.

I am her legacy.

I invite you to consider – as we did on March 16, 2020, when we collectively decided to work from home on a dime out of fear – that we can today, out of love, collectively play a different game.

A game where we are not victims of circumstances. But rather have an attitude of gratitude. A game where we are not using business as the reason to treat each other as less human but rather we remember we are all brothers and sisters on this rock hurtling through the universe. It is a game in which we are not focused on winning only for our own glory. Instead, we see each day and moment as an opportunity to plant a sequoia tree for the collective.

Like my parents did.

As we tackle the next series of challenges with automation, hybrid work, and mental health, the message is simple: double down on yourself and each other. Bringing heart and humanity to the future of work is not easy, but it is worth it.

And, in the end, it's time to flip the script from who says? … to what say you?

Chapter 1A Life of Disruption

“In order to save myself, I must first destroy the me I was told to be.”

— The Dreamer

Part 1: Original Tracks: The Song in Your Heart

My parents met when my dad, Jim, pulled his van over to pick up a hitchhiker, my mom, Debbie, while back from California, where she had been living out her dreams of becoming an actress.

It was love at first sight.

In less than six months, they tied the knot, and three months later, I was born.

Because my parents were both young, I ended up living with my grandparents until I was five in a very tough neighborhood. Eventually, I made my way back to live out the rest of my childhood with my mom and saw my dad on the weekends. He was never short on love but was always short on time. However, he never missed a major moment that mattered to me.

As a single mom with little money, growing up in the worst parts of Baltimore City, my mom did her best to hold onto a sense of purpose and teach me the lessons of life along the way. We were poor, which meant we slept on other people's couches often. I went to five schools in five years. Because my mom was diabetic, she was constantly struggling with her health, in and out of the hospital, and unable to keep a steady job, which caused us to not have enough to eat and unable to pay the bills. She tried to work, but then she would get sick, lose her job, find another job, and then get sick again.

Lacking access to basic human necessities like food and shelter was the hardest thing to deal with for me and my mom, too.

I always found myself curious about other people's lives and what they were like. People appeared happy because they had choices, money, and resources. One of the greatest gifts my parents gave me was teaching me to have enough of a sense of pride and to know I didn't want to live life as a charity case or live on food stamps forever.

Let me tell you a story …

At 11 years old, I was living on the second floor of a small rowhome with my mother – two bedrooms, a bathroom, and a very small kitchen.

The musty, unclean apartment reeked of smoke. There were two empty cartons of cigarettes in the trash, and brown butts of various shades filled the ashtray that sat on the small, second‐hand coffee table in front of the couch. Next to it were water rings from my mother's ever‐present Diet Coke. Once, I made the mistake of taking a sip from her glass – not Coke! I was woozy the rest of the afternoon.

I remember straightening up the apartment and making her bed at home by myself. The summer heat was stifling as the apartment didn't have air conditioning. Realizing I was hungry, I went to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator.

Inside was an old carton of milk, mostly empty and past its expiration date, a jar of mayonnaise with about two teaspoons left, and an uncovered pot of macaroni and cheese from the night before. Some wilted fruits and veggies were in the drawer, and an opened stick of butter was on the side door. One bottle of Diet Coke is half empty, and there are lots of insulin bottles and needles.