Wings of Love E-Book

Scotty Cade

• Herausgeber: Dreamspinner Press
• Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 302

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2011

Beschreibung

Devastated after losing his partner of fifteen years to cancer, Dr. Bradford Mitchell tries to escape the emptiness and loss by leaving his life in Seattle behind. Traveling to the Alaskan mountains where he and Jeff often vacationed, Brad reconnects with Mac Cleary, the ruggedly handsome and very straight floatplane pilot who had flown them to Hyline Lake many times in the past. Brad and Mac form an unlikely friendship and buy an old log cabin together, and as he and Mac begin to bring the old cabin back to life, Mac watches Brad come back to life as well, stirring emotions in him he's never felt for a man before. When fear, confusion, and a near tragedy threaten to force the two men apart, they'll face some tough questions. Can Brad let go of Jeff and the guilt he feels about beginning to care for another man? And can Mac deal with his fears of being gay and accept the fact that he is in love with Brad? It will be a struggle for both men to keep their heads and hearts intact while exploring what life has to offer.

Leseprobe

Copyright

Published by

Dreamspinner Press

4760 Preston Road

Suite 244-149

Frisco, TX 75034

http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Wings of Love

Copyright © 2011 by Scotty Cade

Cover Art by Braden Williams   http://www.bradenwilliamsromance.com 

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without the written permission of the Publisher, except where permitted by law. To request permission and all other inquiries, contact Dreamspinner Press, 4760 Preston Road, Suite 244-149, Frisco, TX 75034

http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/

ISBN: 978-1-61581-731-3

Printed in the United States of America

First Edition

February, 2011

Dedication

To Kell, my ever-supportive partner of fourteen years. Finding you was my biggest dream come true, but thank you for giving me the time and freedom to chase my other dreams. I love you.

Prologue

RENOWNED oncologist Dr. Bradford Mitchell sat hopelessly in the cold, sterile Seattle hospital room, clinging to the hand of the man he loved more than anything in this world, more than life itself. The man he couldn’t save—no matter how hard he tried—from the terrible cancer eating away at his body. As Jeffery Owen, his partner and lover of fifteen years, lay unconscious and seemingly peaceful, Brad watched him draw in and exhale short, steady breaths and listened to the constant blip-beep blip-beep blip-beep of the heart monitor, the only sign that Jeff was still alive.

He tried to remember happier times when their lives didn’t involve daily doctor’s appointments, harsh rounds of chemotherapy, and the many other experimental treatments he’d selfishly forced Jeff to endure. He tried to remember back to when Jeff was a healthy and strikingly handsome young architect with a client list envied by every other architect in his firm. A time when his own thriving practice—now sold—his research, and Jeff were all he needed in this world. They were happy and had the rest of their lives to look forward to.

Then that dreadful day came, with the news of Stage IV colon cancer. Their entire world was turned upside down in one day. After two years of fighting and enduring one experimental treatment after another, Jeff made the decision to stop everything. Brad had tried unsuccessfully to convince Jeff to keep fighting, but Jeff had had enough. Brad knew that the side effects of the treatments were probably worse than the effects of the cancer, at least early on, but he just thought that if they kept trying, something was bound to work. In the end, however, it was Jeff’s life and his decision, and like it or not, Brad had to accept it.

Everyone at the hospital knew Dr. Mitch and gave them as much privacy as Jeff’s medical needs would allow, which had been a blessing over the last couple of months. Before Jeff slipped into the coma, they’d had long hours just to be together and enjoy the time Jeff had left. Although Brad did his best to hide his breaking heart and grief, he knew Jeff was brutally aware of what he was going through. Jeff had once told him that if their positions were reversed, he couldn’t imagine how he would cope. Jeff had done the best he could to prepare and calm Brad, and to assure him that he was at peace with his decision. Jeff had also made him promise to go on with his life, to eventually accept the love and happiness that would surely come his way if he was open to it. He reluctantly promised, as he could never deny Jeff any request no matter how big or small, but he knew the promise was as empty as his heart. He couldn’t go on; he couldn’t imagine a life without Jeff, nor could he fathom falling in love again.

As Brad sat in the same uncomfortable hospital chair in which he’d sat for the last two and a half months, he didn’t feel anything but the empty world around him. Hand in hand and with his head on Jeff’s lap and his ear listening to as much as feeling his breaths, he noticed that Jeff’s breathing was becoming more and more unsteady and knew that his time on this earth was running out.

Suddenly, as if Jeff were forcing memories of happier times into Brad’s defeated body, events of their fifteen years together started to flash before his eyes. The smile on Jeff’s face when they together moved into their first home, which he had designed. How every Christmas morning Jeff made them wear goofy flannel pajamas and sit cross-legged around their Christmas tree, opening gifts. How funny Jeff looked at their Halloween party two years ago when he was in a wheelchair and insisted they dress up as Blanche and Baby Jane Hudson from What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? How hot he looked in his scuba gear on their last diving trip to Bermuda. How happy and relaxed he was when they were on their yearly trip to Alaska. They’d had such a full, wonderful life, until…. They both thought they had a lifetime together, but fate had other plans. So here they were, Jeff unconsciously fighting for every breath and Brad not knowing which breath would be the last. God,how did it all come down to this and how will I ever survive?

Sensing that the end was near, Brad removed his shoes, climbed into the bed, slid his arm under Jeff’s neck, and held him close. For the first time since the diagnosis, his tears fell freely. Then the rise and fall of Jeff’s chest stopped, and the heart machine indicated a long, flat beep. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and calmly reached over and turned off the heart machine. Stone-cold silence.

With Jeff still in his arms, he gently kissed him on the lips and whispered, “So long, my love. Rest well.” He got out of the bed, picked up his shoes, and backed away from Jeff’s bed, never taking his eyes off his lover. When he reached the door, he stood there for what felt like hours; finally he turned and opened the door to what was left of his life.

The next few days were a blur. Friends consoled him, surrounded him, and tried to feed him, but he was just going through the motions. The memorial service and burial were exactly as Jeff wanted, simple and sweet; their friends saw to that. But as he thought back, he couldn’t remember a single detail or anything he’d said or anything that had been said to him. All he remembered was seeing a coffin holding the other half of his empty existence.

When the services were over and he’d forced his friends to go home, he was finally alone in the house he and Jeff had lived and loved in. He looked around and immediately knew he couldn’t stay in this house any longer, at least not right now. Everywhere he turned, something reminded him of his love and his loss.

Brad spent the next three hours packing his clothes and placed four suitcases at the front door. He wanted to take something to remember Jeff, but what? He took one last look around and decided to take the picture of him and Jeff on one of their many vacations to Hiline Lake in the Alaskan mountains. They both loved the wilderness and especially this spot; they often referred to Hiline Lake as “their spot.” They looked so happy then, and that’s all he wanted to remember. He put his suitcases on the front porch, called a cab, and closed and locked the front door. He didn’t know if he would ever be back, but he knew where he was going.

Chapter 1

BRAD arrived at the Seattle airport with no ticket, nor even a schedule of flights to Anchorage. He paid the cab driver, hailed a porter to carry his suitcases, and stood in line at the Alaska Air ticket counter. He bought a ticket on the next flight to Anchorage, where he would charter a floatplane to take him the extra sixty-five miles to Hiline Lake. He had two hours to kill and decided to call a couple of his close friends and let them know where he was going and not to worry, but he didn’t know when he would be back. He didn’t think he would ever be back, but he wasn’t up for lectures about how everything would get better. It wouldn’t get better, and he had to find a way to accept and live with that.

His flight to Anchorage was melancholy and uneventful. As they circled to land, he remembered the last time he and Jeff had landed in Anchorage and how happy they were to be on their way to the Alaskan wilderness again. That brought a smile to his face. Upon landing, he hailed a cab to take him to the Lake Hood Seaplane Base, where most of the mountain flights originated. When he arrived, as if on autopilot he walked over to the Trail Ridge Air kiosk, where he spotted a familiar face sitting behind a desk.

Mac looked up in surprise, not expecting to see Brad. McGovern Cleary, Mac to his friends, was the owner and pilot of the one-plane operation that Brad and Jeff had hired on their many trips to Hiline Lake.

The two men embraced, and Mac said, “Well, hey there, stranger. It’s been a long time. It’s so good to see you, Brad.” He looked over Brad’s shoulder and asked, “Where’s Jeff?”

Brad froze, feeling the blood drain from his face. He had never actually said the words out loud. Mac, sensing something bad, wished he could take back the words immediately, but it was too late.

“Jeff died three days ago, Mac,” he choked out.

“Oh my God, Brad. What happened?”

“Cancer,” he whispered. “He’d been fighting it for the last year and a half.”

“He looked fine the last time you guys were here,” Mac insisted.

“Yeah, well, he’d just been diagnosed, and we wanted to make the trip before he started the first rounds of chemotherapy,” Brad explained.

“Oh man, I’m so sorry,” Mac said. “What can I do?”

“Take me to Hiline Lake,” Brad said.

“Sure, Brad, anything. When do you want to leave?”

“The sooner the better. I’m not sure how much longer I can keep it together,” Brad said.

“No problem, give me thirty minutes to fuel up and file a flight plan.”

“Thanks, man, I really appreciate it.”

“Do you have a reservation at the lodge?” Mac asked.

“No, I didn’t really think that far ahead,” Brad responded.

“Let me call them on their satellite phone,” Mac said. “It’s been pretty busy up there the past couple of weeks. By the time we get up there, it’ll be close to dusk, so I’ll need a room too. I’ll fly back in the morning.”

“Are you sure?” Brad asked.

“I’m sure,” Mac said with a weak smile.

Brad waited while Mac made the call. Mac placed the telephone back in the receiver and said, “We’re all set. They just had a couple cabins of kayakers check out to do some camping on the lake.”

Brad lowered his head as he wiped a tear off his cheek and said, “I don’t know how to thank you, man.”

“No thanks needed. You’ll be okay while I fuel up?”

Brad nodded.

Twenty minutes later, Mac and Brad took off for the forty-minute flight to Hiline Lake. When they landed and taxied over to the plane dock, they were greeted by the lodge owners, Jake Elliot and Alexander Walsh.

Jake and Zander had built the lodge and operated it for the last ten years, and during Brad and Jeff’s many visits had developed a casual friendship with them. Luckily, Mac must have informed them of Brad’s situation when he called, as they each simply gave him a hug and silently walked him to the lodge.

Before heading to his room, he leaned in toward Mac’s ear and whispered, “Thanks for telling them. I don’t think I could have handled that again today.”

“I figured as much,” Mac said. “Listen, if you want to talk tonight or you want to have breakfast with me in the morning, just let me know. Even if you don’t want to talk, but just don’t want to be alone, I’m here, man, anytime, day or night. I’m in room twelve.”

“You’re a good friend, Mac. Thanks, man,” Brad said.

“I never told you and Jeff this,” Mac said, “but my wife died about a year before you started coming up to the lodge, so I know some of what you’re going through right now.”

“Mac, I’m so sorry. I wish we would have known.”

“Nothing you could have done, but I’m glad you know now,” Mac continued. “Maybe I can help you in some way.”

“I’m not sure anyone can help me, but thanks,” Brad said.

“I remember the feeling,” Mac replied.

“Thanks again, man. I think I’ll head to my room.”

Brad started to turn, but Mac stopped him, hugged him, and said, “Try to get some rest.”

“I will, thanks,” was the last thing Brad said as he walked down the hall and stopped in front of his room. A room that, for the first time in fifteen years, he wouldn’t be sharing with Jeff.

Chapter 2

BRAD unpacked what he thought he would need for a week or so. He took a long, hot shower and put on his favorite old sweatpants and T-shirt, then sat on the end of the bed. He dropped his head in his hands and, for the second time in three days, let the tears flow freely. He cried until he had no tears left. He sat in one of the two club chairs next to the window and thought about how ironic it was that there would be an empty chair in his life from now on. Then he had to chuckle. Drama queen, he thought.

The Alaskan summer days are very long, and it was ten twenty in the evening when he watched the sun drop beyond the mountain range. He and Jeff had watched so many Alaskan sunsets together over the years, from this very lodge, that he almost felt he was cheating on Jeff watching it alone. As the final light faded, he rested his head on the back of the chair and closed his eyes.

When his eyes opened again, it was to a darkened room. He realized he must have fallen asleep, and glanced over at the clock on the bedside table. It was one thirty in the morning; he had slept for five and a half hours, the longest consecutive sleep he’d had in over a week. He stretched and realized his neck was pretty stiff from sleeping in the chair, but he felt okay otherwise. He went to the bathroom, brushed his teeth and combed his hair. He put on a pair of jeans and his sneakers and walked out into the hall. The place was quiet at this hour, and he enjoyed the stillness and peace of the motionless lodge. He walked up and down the halls, then around the grounds until he got cold, realizing he’d left his jacket back in his room. He walked back into the lodge and sat in front of the huge stone fireplace. There was barely any heat radiating, but he was no longer cold. He sat there and stared at the charred wood until the last ember faded away into darkness. He thought about how many times he and Jeff had sat in this very spot and read the newspaper or just talked about their adventure of the day. His bottom lip started to quiver, and he forced the tears back yet again. He got up and walked down the hall toward his room. He didn’t know why, but he stopped at room twelve. He raised his hand and lightly knocked on the door. Thirty seconds later, a sleepy Mac stood in the opened doorway in a T-shirt and boxer shorts.

Brad stood there, staring at Mac, not knowing what to say. Mac opened his arms, and Brad fell into them. When the sobs stopped, Brad stepped back and said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know where else to go. I am so tired of crying, but I can’t seem to stop.”

“You came to the right place,” Mac said. “I’m glad you felt comfortable enough to knock on my door. Sit down,” he said as he motioned Brad into the room.

Brad sat down in one of the two club chairs that were very similar to the ones in his room. Mac excused himself and went into the bathroom and came out in a pair of blue jeans. When he returned, he sat in the chair opposite Brad and waited for him to speak. Brad took a deep breath and said, “How did you do it? Go on with your life, I mean.”

“Well,” Mac answered. “When it came down to it, I had two choices. Get out of bed one day at a time and try to put my life back together, or….”

“End it all,” Brad added.

“Yeah,” Mac said. “To put it bluntly. I thought long and hard about it, and even thought I could pull it off. I’m a pilot, for heaven’s sake. It would have been easy. I went as far as taking the plane up and initiating the stall, but in the end I wasn’t strong enough to do it and pulled out.”

“What made you stop?” Brad asked.

Mac looked out of the large window into the darkness of the Alaskan night and said, “My daughter and a promise.”

“I didn’t know you had a daughter,” Brad said.

“Yep,” Mac said. “She’s in her second year of medical school back in Seattle. Lindsey and I tried for years to have our own kids, and the doctors finally discovered that I was the problem, so we gave up and adopted Zoe-Grace. She was twelve, and had been in and out of foster care for most of her life, and we thought she deserved a family.”

“Good for you, Mac. You must be very proud of her.”

“I am indeed, she’s a great girl,” Mac said.

“I’m sorry for interrupting your story, Mac, please go on.”

“Well, near the end, Lindsey made me promise that I would do the best I could to raise Zoe and make a life for the both of us, without her. That conversation kept playing in my head over and over. Even though I’d promised under duress, I still couldn’t break my promise to her. In addition, Zoe hadn’t had such a great start to life, so it just wasn’t fair to her to leave her alone again.”

“How did Lindsey die?” Brad asked.

“Breast cancer.”

Both men sat in silence for a moment before Brad whispered, “I’m sorry.”

“Me too,” Mac responded.

They talked until five o’clock in the morning. And although they never acknowledged it, they both knew that a friendship had been forged that would stand the test of time.

Chapter 3

LATER that morning the men said their good-byes, and Mac took off for Lake Hood. Brad watched the little plane until it was out of sight, knowing that since Mac exclusively flew all the guests back and forth, as well as weekly supply runs to the surrounding areas, he would see his friend again very soon.

It was a beautiful July summer morning, and the leaves were blowing lazily in the trees. Although he hadn’t slept very much the night before, he felt better than he’d expected to. The sweet mountain air and the blue skies did a world of good for his mood, and while he didn’t know how long the mood would last, he decided to take advantage of it.

He went back to the lodge and dressed in his hiking gear. He told Jake and Zander that he’d be gone for most of the day, and they offered a brown-bag lunch, which he happily accepted. He started his hike along the lakeshore and headed toward Mount Susitna. He and Jeff had often hiked in the foothills there and had a couple of favorite trails they did each time they vacationed here.

As Brad quietly walked in the sunshine and observed the beauty around him, he felt closer to Jeff than he had at any time in the last few weeks. In Jeff’s last days, he’d been in a coma, and although Brad had been happy to be with him, Jeff really hadn’t been there. But when they’d been here… Jeff had been so alive. The feeling was so overwhelming, Brad suddenly felt weak in the knees. He stopped and sat on a large rock right off the trail and allowed the feelings to take him, harder than ever. Just like that, he was again in a really dark place. Remembering the promise he’d made to Jeff, he forced himself to stand and take a step. Keep going, he told himself. You promised.

It was about nine thirty in the morning, and he’d been walking for about an hour when he noticed a cabin just off the trail. I’ve never noticed that cabin before, he thought. But most times we were here in the spring when the leaves were full, green, and vibrant on the trees. He decided to check it out.

He started off the trail toward the cabin when he noticed a faded old sign covered in brush. He realized he was up in the Alaskan mountains and didn’t want to get shot for trespassing, so he thought he should see what it said. He assumed it was a “No Trespassing” or “Private Property” sign, but wanted to make sure. “Holy shit,” he said out loud. “For Sale.”

He felt certain that, since it was for sale—and by the appearance of the sign, had been for quite some time—he could inspect the property without his life being in danger. The approach to the structure was badly overgrown, so it was slow going. He finally reached the wraparound porch and looked up. He grabbed the handrail to pull himself onto the porch, and it promptly came off in his hand. He fell backward and landed square on his butt. Stunned, he sat there for a second, looked up at the sky, and started to laugh. The more he laughed, the louder he got, and his laughter soon became a roar. He knew that wherever Jeff was, he was laughing his ass off too. With a smile plastered on his face, he stood again, and this time with a little more caution, climbed his way onto the porch.

Crossing the porch to the front door, he carefully avoided all the rotten floorboards and reached the door without any mishaps. He felt very silly as he raised his hand and knocked on the closed door. Of course, no one answered, so just for the hell of it, he tried the doorknob. Much to his surprise, the door was unlocked. He opened the door and called out “Hello!” Again no one answered, so he walked in.

The inside was in much better shape than he’d imagined. The cabin was much larger than it appeared from the trail, and fully furnished. It appeared to be one large room, with a loft on one end and an oversized stone fireplace on the other. Under the loft was a small kitchen and what appeared to be a bathroom. He made his way to the bathroom and peeked inside. There was an antique claw-footed tub, an old pedestal sink, and a thronelike thing that said “Envirolet composting toilet.” Yuck, he thought. I can’t imagine doing my business on that thing.

He worked his way around the basic kitchen. It had a sink, an old twelve-volt refrigerator, and a wood-burning stove. In the center of the room, in front of the fireplace, was a large couch, two end tables, and of all things, a recliner. Across the room was a bed, dresser, and bedside table. He carefully climbed up the ladder to the loft and found another bed, a chest of drawers, a bedside table, and a blanket chest. Each room had oil-burning wall sconces every four or so feet and an oil lamp on each end table next to the couch and on each bedside table. There was an oil-burning chandelier hanging in the middle of the cabin on a pulley system, which Brad assumed was to raise and lower it for lighting and extinguishing.

On a table to the right of the door was a stack of flyers covered in dust. He picked one up, held it out in front of him, and shook off the dust. The headline read, “Environmentally Green Cabin For Sale.” The flyer went on to describe the property in detail. Two acres of natural woodland, twelve hundred square feet, two bedrooms, one bathroom cabin, totally furnished, no electricity, solar panels, twelve-volt battery system, generator, no telephone, well water, and composting toilet. It listed the owner’s name and phone number and the price—$69,999.00.

Brad’s first thought was, I’ll buy this place. I have no reason to go home, Jeff is gone, my practice is sold, and I’ll have plenty to do to keep me occupied. Worst case, if I ever decide to go home, I’ll have a cabin to come back to in a place Jeff loved. It was the quickest decision he had ever made, and somehow he knew it was the right one.

When he got back to the lodge about four o’clock that afternoon, he couldn’t believe how energized he felt. He showed Jake and Zander the flyer and told them about his discovery. Much to his surprise, they were aware of the cabin and, of course, knew the owner. They explained that the property was about fifteen miles away by a badly maintained dirt road, but only two or three miles on foot. He told the boys he was going to buy it, and they both looked at him with some resignation.

“Are you sure?” Zander said.

“Yeah, that place needs a lot of work,” Jake added.

Before Brad could say a word, Zander piped up again, “That place has no electricity or telephone, and don’t even think it has running water.”

Finally Brad was able to get a word in. “It has a well with indoor running water. And you’re right, no electricity, but solar power, no telephone, and not even cell service, but who do I need to call? And it has plenty of oil-burning lamps.”

“Man, you got it bad,” Zander said.

“Look,” Jake added. “We would love nothing better than to welcome you to our little slice of heaven, but take a while and think about it. Then if you’re still serious, you can count on us for all the help and support we can offer, right, Zander?”

“You betcha. But please think about it before you make any quick decisions,” Zander added.

“Sorry, Zander, but I’ve made up my mind,” Brad said. “Jeff loved this place, and I feel closer to him here than anywhere else, and right now this is what I need to survive. Can you understand that?”

Certain they wouldn’t be able to talk him out of it, they looked at each other, and Zander said, “If this is what you want, you can count on us.”

“Thanks, boys,” Brad whispered.

The three men hugged, and Brad went back to his room feeling better than he had in any recent memory. Once back in his room, he pulled the flyer out of his pocket and stared at it for a long time. Tomorrow morning he would use the lodge’s satellite phone to call the owner and set up an appointment to meet.

Chapter 4

THE next morning Brad made the call, and Jake and Zander drove him over to the cabin to meet the owner. He stared out of the window as they drove and thought, The boys are right. The drive is much longer than the hike, and the roads aren’t in the best of shape, but where the hell do I need to drive? Nowhere. Zander said something to Jake, which interrupted Brad’s thoughts, but after Jake answered, there was silence again. In that silence, Brad got lost in his thoughts yet again. I can spend the entire winter in front of the fire, reading my favorite journals and novels and never see another human being if I don’t want to. That’s what I need right now, to sort out my feelings and to decide what I want to do with the rest of my life.

The approach from the road appeared to be kept clear, but everything else was very overgrown. When they reached the porch, the back door was already open, and a tall, thin man with shoulder-length black hair and a long black beard stepped out.

“Hey, Seth,” Jake said.

“Jake, Zander, good to see you boys.”

Jake said, “Seth Palin, meet Brad Mitchell.”

Seth stuck out his hand and said, “Pleased to meet you, Brad.”

Brad shook Seth’s hand and said “Palin—any relation?”

“Who the hell knows in these parts, but I sure hope not.”

Brad smiled and said, “You and me both.”

“So,” Seth continued, “you think you want to buy this old place, huh?”

“I know I do,” Brad responded. “It’s exactly what I need right now—a big distraction and a project with no people and no interruptions.”

“Hey,” Zander and Jake said simultaneously.

“Well, except these guys,” Brad said.

“I wrote up an ‘Intent to Purchase’ last night and hoped this would suffice until I can get back to Anchorage and get you a certified check,” Brad said.

“Sure it will,” Seth replied. “It’s been sitting here for the last several years getting more and more grown over with brush. I just gave up on maintaining it. I’ve got to tell you, though, what you see is what you get. I won’t be fixing anything or guaranteeing anything, either. It is what it is.”

“Understood,” Brad said. “Now, about the price?”

“Yeah, I know, it’s in pretty bad shape,” Seth confessed. “What do you say we call it an even fifty grand?”

“Deal,” Brad replied. “As long as you show me how to work that throne-looking thing in the bathroom.”

“Piece of cake.” Seth laughed, and the two men shook on the transaction, both with beaming smiles.

“Hey, Zander,” Brad yelled. “When is Mac flying back up?”

“Tomorrow morning. We have two rooms checking in and one checking out,” Zander replied.

“Perfect. I’ll catch a ride with him to Anchorage, do a little banking, and fly back on his next trip.” Brad handed two signed copies of the “Intent to Purchase” to Seth, and Seth signed them both and gave one back to Brad. Just like that, and just like Mac, Brad was on his way to keeping his own promise.

THE next morning, Mac was scheduled to arrive about eight thirty with the expected guests, and Brad was up and dressed. He heard the small floatplane before he saw it and made a beeline to the dock to await its arrival. As Mac circled on his approach, the two exchanged waves, and Brad watched as Mac effortlessly landed the small plane in the middle of the lake and taxied to the dock. After Brad secured the plane, Mac stepped out to help his passengers out of the plane.

“How’s it going, Brad?”

“Well, all in all, I think it’s going okay,” Brad responded. “A great deal has happened since you left. Let’s grab a bite of breakfast, and I’ll fill you in.”

“Sounds like a plan. I’m starving,” Mac said.

The two men walked the new guests to the lodge and left them at the front desk in Jake’s capable hands. They headed to the dining room, mouths watering for one of Zander’s famous Alaskan breakfasts. Jake and Zander noticed that Brad and Mac seemed genuinely happy to see each other, and they were both glad that Brad had someone he felt comfortable enough to confide in.

As they ate, Brad filled Mac in on the cabin purchase and his plans to fly back to Anchorage, do a little banking, and fly back on Mac’s next trip. Mac was surprised at this quick decision, and Brad saw the concern in his eyes.

“Mac, I know what you’re thinking. I can see that look in your eyes,” Brad said.

“This is pretty sudden, Brad,” Mac said with an apprehensive tone in his voice.

“I know it is, Mac. And to someone who hasn’t walked in my shoes for the last two years, it must seem like the craziest move. When Jeff was diagnosed, I sold my practice and devoted everything I had to helping him beat the cancer, but I failed miserably, and Jeff is….”

Even as he whispered the words, “dead now,” they stuck in his throat.

“And besides,” he continued, “there’s nothing left in Seattle but harsh and sad memories of a life I can no longer have. Sure, we have some great friends in Seattle that were very supportive during Jeff’s illness, but the life we shared with them is now over. If they want to see me, they can visit anytime, but I can’t go back there, and they’ll just have to understand.”

“Listen, man,” Mac said. “I know it feels that way now, but believe me, in time it will feel different.”

“Mac, I know you’ve been where I am now, but really think back. Honestly, did you believe at the time that things would change, get better?”

Mac thought back to that painful time. “No, I can’t say that I did, but I didn’t have anyone who had actually experienced what I was feeling to help me through it.”

“I know I’m lucky to have you as a friend, Mac, especially since you’ve experienced the same kind of loss that I just did, but I know I can’t go back. And if I can’t go back, the only other place to go is forward. I’m asking for your help and support, but if you can’t give it, I totally understand.” Brad threw his hands in the air. “But either way, I’m doing this. I’ve made up my mind. Jeff is gone and I made a promise to him, and this is the only way I know how to even start to keep it. I need this, Mac.”

Mac sat there, silent, for a few minutes, and the two men simply looked at each other.

“Okay,” Mac said. “You’ve got my support and anything else you need help with.”

Brad smiled at Mac and said, “Thanks, man.”

“So what’s your next move?” Mac asked.

“Well, I’ve decided to close up our… my… oh hell, the house Jeff and I shared in Seattle and move here full time. I’ll need to sink my teeth into the cabin, and when you see it, you’ll see why.”

“Can we see it this morning?” Mac asked.

“I don’t see why not,” Brad said. “It’s empty and grown over, but not in terrible shape, and in a few days it will be mine.” His eyes filled up with tears as he said, “I feel like this is all I have, Mac.”

With a knowing look, Mac reached over and, in a show of support, grabbed his forearm and squeezed.

Brad smiled a weak smile and asked, “What time do we have to take off?”