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- Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
- Kategorie: Fachliteratur
- Sprache: Englisch
A concrete and hands-on method for improving your everyday decisions
Every 15 minutes, each of us can make ten or more small decisions. Some of them are relatively inconsequential, while others can change the course of our lives. What if you could improve all of your decisions, across the board, and start to build a healthier, more productive, and meaningful life?
In Wise Decisions: A Science-Based Approach to Making Better Choices, a team of accomplished industry experts delivers an evidence- and research-based blueprint for making the best decisions you can with the information you have. You’ll learn to make the targeted, repeated investment of energy required to turn your decision-making process into one informed by reason, emotion, intuition, and science.
In the book, you’ll discover:
- How to put the decision-making process under a microscope and learn what makes a decision truly wise
- Ways to help children, teens, and families make wise decisions
- How to train yourself to make wise decisions with voice training and other strategies
A can’t-miss resource for parents, teachers, coaches, managers, executives, and other business leaders, Wise Decisions also offers timeless advice and guidance for anyone else hoping to improve the decision-making abilities of the people close to them.
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Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2022
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Table of Contents
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Praise for Wise Decisions
Foreword
Introduction
Decision Fatigue
The Cascade of Poor Decision‐Making
Sources
PART I: YOUR OWN DECISION ADVISOR (Y.O.D.A) FUNDAMENTALS
Chapter 1:
Health Ignites Wisdom in Decision‐Making
Decision‐Making
Our Brains and Bodies Are One Dynamic Integrated System
Physical Health and Decision‐Making
Emotional Health and Decision‐Making
Mental Health and Decision‐Making
Spiritual Health and Decision‐Making
Y.O.D.A.
Sources
Chapter 2:
Getting Through to the Inner Core
The Gatekeeper
The Blocking and Tackling of Decision‐Making
Sources
Chapter 3:
The Voices in Our Head
From Inner Voice 1 to Inner Voice 2
“You Talk” and “I Talk”
Sources
Chapter 4:
Time for Serious Reflection
Blocking or Granting Access
Big Questions
Conscious Awareness Is the First Step
Assignment
Sources
Chapter 5:
Equipping Y.O.D.A. with the Right Stuff
Preloading Y.O.D.A. with the Right Information
Equipping Y.O.D.A. with Timeless Wisdom
Sources
Chapter 6:
Protecting Your Inner Core at All Costs
Taking Charge of Your Inner Voice
Understanding Resistance
Guidelines for Protecting Your Inner Core
Sources
Chapter 7:
Nature via Nurture: The Science of Uploading Y.O.D.A
The Secret to Neuroplasticity Lies “Above Our Genes”
Training Y.O.D.A. at Home: The Gift of the Meta‐Moment
From Novice to Expert: Creating a Neural Superhighway
Sources
PART II: APPLIED TO CHILDREN, TEENS, AND FAMILIES
Chapter 8:
Y.O.D.A. Rising: Parenting Young Children
Sources
Chapter 9:
High‐Performance Training for Parents: Y.O.D.A. for Teens
Time for Reflection and Y.O.D.A. Goal‐Setting
Success for All: Engaging Y.O.D.A.
Sources
Chapter 10:
Transforming Your Family Story with Your Trained Inner Voice
The Recipe for Upshifting Your Family Story
Sources
PART III: Y.O.D.A. IN THE BROADER ARENA OF LIFE
Chapter 11:
Managing Energy and Your Inner Voice
Two Important Dimensions of Energy
Sources
Chapter 12:
Managing Emotions and the Role of Y.O.D.A.
A Deeper Dive into Emotions and Feelings
The Objective Is Not to Silence Emotion
Sources
Chapter 13:
The Inner Voice and Managing Stress
Stress and Narrowing of the Aperture
Stress Basics for Y.O.D.A.
Sources
Chapter 14:
The Role of Y.O.D.A. in Finding Flow
Reflect on Your Flow Experience
My Flow Experience
Inner Voice Coaching: Messages to Enhance Flow
Sources
Chapter 15:
Y.O.D.A. Guided Storytelling
The Truth
Y.O.D.A.'s Keys for Storytelling and Decision‐Making
Using Y.O.D.A. to Manage Intractable Political Stories
Y.O.D.A.'s Storytelling Keys for Managing Political Conflict
Sources
PART IV: Y.O.D.A. TRAINING STRATEGIES
Chapter 16:
Voice Training 101
The Evolutionary Upgrade with No Equal
Eight‐Step Training Program
Sources
Chapter 17:
Using Y.O.D.A. to Get Home
The Tombstone Exercise
The Obsession to Get Home
Sources
Chapter 18:
Summary Wisdom from Y.O.D.A.
Scenario 1
Scenario 2
Sources
Acknowledgments
Jim's Acknowledgments
Sheila's Acknowledgments
Index
End User License Agreement
List of Illustrations
Chapter 1
Figure 1.1 The human biochemical beaker.
Figure 1.2 Health ignites wisdom in decision‐making.
Chapter 2
Figure 2.1 The insula.
Figure 2.2 The command center.
Chapter 3
Figure 3.1 The voices in our head.
Figure 3.2 Transformation of Y.O.D.A.
Chapter 6
Figure 6.1 Gatekeeper to the inner core.
Chapter 7
Figure 7.1 Nature and nurture.
Chapter 8
Figure 8.1 Transforming the inner voice.
Figure 8.2 Tone of voice can convey more than words.
Chapter 9
Figure 9.1 Neuroplasticity unfolds rapidly earlier in life.
Figure 9.2 Contrary to the old saying, words can have a powerful impact.
Chapter 10
Figure 10.1 Five Y.O.D.A. Code words.
Chapter 11
Figure 11.1 The four cells of energy dimensions.
Figure 11.2 The feelings connected to each energy cell.
Figure 11.3 Understanding the negative energy state.
Figure 11.4 Movement from high to low intensity.
Figure 11.5 Voluntary recovery assists in disrupting negative energy.
Chapter 12
Figure 12.1 The interplay between emotions and feelings.
Chapter 13
Figure 13.1 Decision‐making needs to happen through both narrow and wide ape...
Chapter 17
Figure 17.1 Consider the words you'd want on your tombstone.
Figure 17.2 Choosing the words in the Tombstone Exercise is just the beginni...
Figure 17.3
Figure 17.4
Figure 17.5
Figure 17.6
Figure 17.7
Figure 17.8
Figure 17.9
Figure 17.10
Figure 17.11
Guide
Cover Page
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Foreword
Table of Contents
Begin Reading
Acknowledgments
Index
Wiley End User License Agreement
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WISE DECISIONS
A SCIENCE-BASED APPROACH TO MAKING BETTER CHOICES
DR. JIM LOEHR | DR. SHEILA OHLSSON WALKER
Copyright © 2023 by John Wiley & Sons, Inc. All rights reserved.
Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey.
Published simultaneously in Canada.
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Library of Congress Cataloging‐in‐Publication Data:
Names: Loehr, Jim, author. | Ohlsson Walker, Sheila, author.
Title: Wise decisions : a science‐based approach to making better choices / Dr. James E Loehr and Dr. Sheila Ohlsson Walker.
Description: Hoboken, New Jersey : Wiley, [2023] | Includes bibliographical references and index.
Identifiers: LCCN 2022029667 (print) | LCCN 2022029668 (ebook) | ISBN 9781119931409 (hardback) | ISBN 9781119931423 (adobe pdf) | ISBN 9781119931416 (epub)
Subjects: LCSH: Decision making.
Classification: LCC HD30.23 .L635 2023 (print) | LCC HD30.23 (ebook) | DDC 658.4/03—dc23/eng/20220811
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2022029667
LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2022029668
Cover Art: © ZOART STUDIO / GETTY IMAGES
Cover Design: PAUL McCARTHY
To my seven grandchildren, Wes, Ced, Theo, Archie, Riley, Jack, and Max. May they demonstrate in their lives what wise decision‐making really means.
—Jim
To my three beautiful sons, Jack, Charlie, and Wyatt. May they embody wisdom, kindness, empathy, and purpose in decision‐making across their lives.
—Sheila
Praise for Wise Decisions
“Tremendous! This magnificent book led me to examine and consider my decisions, and my decision-making process, in a whole new way. Jim Loehr and Sheila Ohlsson Walker brilliantly guide us with insightful principles and practical applications on how to consciously step away from ourselves—from our powerful emotions and our natural biases—in order to see, understand, and decide what is truly wise for each of us. It’s profound! And highly relevant. Decide today to read this superb book.”
—Stephen Covey, Co-founder, FranklinCovey Speed of Trust Practice
“We love Wise Decisions! As professionals working with children and teens, we particularly love this book’s ideas for helping young people become thoughtful and wise decision makers. Loehr and Walker show parents how to develop a calm, supportive, and empathic inner voice– and how to use their “public voice” to help children develop positive beliefs about themselves and their world. Clever exercises show parents how to recognize unproductive patterns they learned early in life. Parents then are taught strategies for refining their own self-talk and for communicating in ways that make children of any age more apt to “upload” parental wisdom–and to see their parents as wise teachers, rather than as critics or adversaries. Read this book. You’ll be glad you did. And your kids will be too.”
—Dr. William Stixrud, PhD and Ned Johnson, top-selling authors of The Self-Driven Child and What Do You Say?: Talking with Kids to Build Motivation, Stress Tolerance, and a Happy Home
“In a world filled with sensory overload, it’s never been more important to have systems in place that help us think more critically and make better choices. Wise Decisions provides a clear pathway to making that happen in all areas of our lives.”
—Jim Courier, former world #1 in the world in tennis and renowned tennis commentator
“Jim Loehr and Sheila Ohlsson Walker have written a delightful science-informed guide to making better decisions. Wise Decisions will help you understand why we often stumble when life throws us curveballs and provide you with practical tools you can use to thrive under the most emotionally trying circumstances—ideas that everyone can benefit from.”
—Dr. Ethan Kross, Professor of Psychology and Organizational Management, University of Michigan and bestselling author, Chatter
Foreword
This is the first book foreword I've ever written, and I do so at the age of 91 because I wholeheartedly believe its pages hold life‐changing wisdom and perspective. Wise Decisions contains something not just for certain people, but all people, because it's our everyday decisions, whether large or small, that ultimately determine how we show up in life.
The pages ahead lay out a roadmap for building and strengthening our decision‐making capacities, supporting us in making the kinds of choices that stand the test of time. Importantly, walking our talk with the young people in our lives, whether our children, students, athletes, grandchildren, or simply multigenerational friends, teaches them by example how to make thoughtful, intentional choices, offering them a priceless gift that will shape their life trajectories in unforeseeable yet powerful ways across time.
As I read through this book for the first time, I reflected more deeply on the people and experiences that shaped my own decision‐making process, and what became clear was simply this: just about everything I needed to know about making wise and thoughtful choices was taught to me by my grandfather during childhood hikes in the mountains of North Carolina.
Despite being an outsized force in our community, my grandfather embodied the values of kindness, respect, integrity, and service always and without exception. Not once did I see him display arrogance, anger, or act in a demanding way. He showed up for others, whether it was a close friend or a stranger from one of the nearby poverty‐ridden farming communities, and when a tough decision needed to be made, his inner guidance was plain and simple—he did the right thing.
My grandfather's actions spoke volumes, as a steadfast rule choosing the hard right over the easy wrong. Having built and funded the first school for African American children in China Grove, North Carolina, years before I was born, his ethic of caring, respect, and support for others, regardless of their circumstances, were the defining traits by which he was known in our community and our church. He was a true leader in every possible way, his values and ideals playing out in real time through the tangible decisions he made that impacted lives for the better.
All of this took root in me in a way I can see more clearly now in hindsight, the cutting‐edge science of how I became who I am today illuminated across the science‐focused chapters of this book. The bottom line is that it was both what he did and how he did it that stuck with me over time. As I think back, I remember how he respected and trusted me, spoke with me much like an adult despite being only five years old, and gave me opportunities to think deeply and reflect, to engage with him in the process of making decisions.
His unending care and respect wove a thread through interactions with myself and others, indelibly shaping the man I grew up to be. He instilled in me a sense that my ideas, thoughts, emotions, and questions had merit. He infused in me a sense of value for the important things in life, not material goods, but rather service to others and making our world better in a way that I uniquely could. He showed me how I too could navigate my own path in life such that, like him, I could impact the lives of others in a positive way. Just by walking his talk, he instilled in me a decision‐making framework that has always felt like second nature, just a part of who I am.
This insight reinforced in an even deeper way the extraordinary capacity of adults to shape the minds, bodies, and higher‐order spiritual beliefs of young people. And it's the times when emotions are running high, so‐called “teachable moments,” when the most powerful opportunities to lead by example present themselves. These are the rare moments within the fertile soil of a safe, trusted, and respectful relationship, when we adults can embed powerful life lessons that provide a felt sense of confidence, competence, and purpose for the young people we want, over and above all else, to see flourish.
Without question, this is the priceless gift my grandfather gave to me.
Prior to reading this book I'd never thought in considerable detail about the components of how I've made decisions. Nor had I ever tried to take the process from inside the black box of my mind and put it into words. Having now done this, a few things stand out.
First, my health, exercising every day, eating healthy food, and getting a good night's sleep is and always has been fundamental for the clear thinking I've needed to make solid decisions. The ways in which health ignites wise decision‐making is the topic of the book's lead chapter. Second, while the concrete facts of any issue are important for thoughtful and informed deliberation, I now see the magnitude to which trusting the wisdom of my body, via my emotions and intuition, have played a role in the decisions I've made. I saw my grandfather do this over and over and recognize that these same core qualities have become second nature. Third, when I have a big decision to make, the solitude and freedom of nature helps me see the bigger picture more clearly, a particularly relevant fact in this era of relentless exposure to screens and social media. And fourth, if I was to lay out my decision‐making process, I'd say it's been a combination of hard data and “gut feel”, with input from a handful of wise friends, that have guided me throughout my life. Incidentally, my body's language of emotion and intuition often provided clearer and more immediate feedback than the back‐and‐forth of hypothetical outcomes unfolding in my mind, all which set the stage to channel the ethos of my grandfather: to do the right thing.
Of the hard decisions I've had to make in life, whether in business as chairman of Westinghouse Broadcasting faced with mafia‐driven death threats, making the call in 1981 to break the Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS) story to the world, or as Chancellor of the University of Denver, the spirit of my grandfather has run a thread through them all.
At age 58 I'd retired from Westinghouse and had planned to live my remaining days as a cowboy on my ranch in Colorado. Out of the blue one day, a dear friend posed a question I'd never anticipated in a million years: whether I'd take over as Chancellor at the University of Denver. Not believing I had the capacity nor the skill set, especially at a university that was in significant trouble, I nonetheless chose to vet the idea with three close wise friends, who to a tee endorsed the idea.
It was a brand‐new challenge, and I decided to take it on, just for a short few‐year stint, to help the university stabilize and find new leadership. Sixteen years later, much to my surprise, I'd fallen head over heels in love with DU, most powerfully with the opportunity to shape young lives in a profoundly impactful way.
With the support and collaboration of an incredible team of trusted, creative, passionate and purposeful women and men, DU took on a whole new life. We were forced to make many hard decisions across time, letting go of long‐standing employees who didn't uphold basic standards of ethical behavior, all at a time when the university was bleeding financially, and student enrollment was on the decline. Decision by decision, we moved in the direction of True North, and slowly but surely, we began to turn a corner.
Together we introduced and enforced rigorous standards around character and integrity across academics and athletics, upheld the core principles of kindness and service to others, and maintained an overarching focus on developing and graduating students of honor, integrity, and purpose who had the healthy bodies, minds, hearts, and souls to go out and change our world. Like my grandfather, it was vital that we modeled what we expected of others as we worked to reshape the culture and emotional climate of the university. This required making many wrenching choices along the way.
One in particular stands out because I love sports, and this story is emblazoned in my memory. In April 2004 the DU men's hockey team was in the finals of the NCAA Division I championship game in Boston, and odds were stacked in favor of the other team. The night before the highly anticipated game, one of DU's star players, a top scorer and the one who had made the go‐ahead goal in the semifinal game, had violated the standards of behavior required to take the ice with his team the following day. In a difficult and time‐sensitive conversation between myself, the Athletic Director and the head coach, we needed to make a call, all the while knowing his absence on the ice in the final meant not only lower odds of a win, but more importantly, a lesser chance of the ripple effect of all that a Division 1 championship win would mean for DU as an institution.
On game day, as DU took the ice against their rivals, the young man lived out the consequences of his character infraction. The stalwart player was not included in the lineup, but rather sat in the stands, dressed in a suit and tie, with teammates who were injured or hadn't made the 20 player roster. The message: Whether a star or second‐string freshman, all players live by the same system of rules and receive the same penalties for noncompliance. It was a vibrant living example of what DU stood for, representative of the culture we'd intentionally and carefully cultivated over time. On a joyful closing note that further validated our decision to stand by our principles, DU won the NCAA championship in a game that, up till the final seconds, could have gone either way.
On the surface we had to make a hard decision, but asking the simple question “What's the right thing to do?” made the answer clear as day.
If I had to pick one part of my life for which I feel the deepest gratitude across my 91 years, it is my time at DU. I worked harder than ever before, intrinsically motivated by shaping young lives with my team, fueled by being able to provide insight and guidance on their life journeys. This job, more than any others, pushed my decision‐making process like never before. And the payoff, that of helping young people write their stories of passion and purpose, is beyond anything that can be quantified monetarily.
While not all decisions were perfect nor played out as planned, when it came right down to the nuts and bolts, it was because of the higher‐order principles, something this book calls “the spiritual dimension,” that I was able to stay clear on the path forward. My grandfather's words “Do the right thing” were at the very core of my process.
Wise Decisions will help you make the kinds of choices that support you and those you love in charting a course through life that you are proud of, a journey of substance and contribution. Its guidance, if you choose to follow it, will improve your health, strengthen your relationships, and connect you with the sense of purpose and wisdom that fuels your mind and body, aligned with the values and beliefs most meaningful to you. Moreover, speaking with your actions, in particular living your “why,” will help you capitalize on a timely opportunity to redefine what it means to be human in our world today. All during a period in our world history that calls for kindness, integrity, generosity, gratitude, humility, and courage in our leaders and global society more than ever.
—Dan Ritchie
Daniel L. Ritchie is the former CEO of Westinghouse Broadcasting, chancellor of the University of Denver for 16 years, and former chairman and CEO of the Denver Center for Performing Arts. He received the inaugural Colorado Governor's Medal in 2015 for strengthening Colorado communities, and was president of the Temple Hoyne Buell Foundation, a pioneer in supporting early childhood education, for over two decades.
Introduction
Let's face it: Human beings are flawed decision makers. The corporate world is replete with examples: Blockbuster Video rejected Netflix; Kodak could have become the next Apple had the leadership made better decisions; Excite could have purchased Google for $750,000; Ross Perot passed on Microsoft; Motorola decided against smartphones; DECCA records turned down the Beatles, and on and on. And then there are the catastrophic examples of faulty decision‐making at Enron, Arthur Anderson, WorldCom, and Halliburton, to mention just a few. And how about Congress? The approval rating of Congress, according to Gallup in January 2022, was only 18%! Put another way, 82% of those polled disagree with the decisions made by Congress.
The data on personal finance decisions is equally disturbing. Eight percent of all people who file for bankruptcy have filed at least once before and 5% of bankruptcy cases are attributed to reckless spending. Well‐educated people file 20% of American bankruptcies. It is estimated that 14 million Americans have over $10,000 of credit card debt. The CDC's National Center for Health Statistics reports that 42% of all marriages result in divorce. The combination of four healthy lifestyle choices—maintaining a healthy weight, exercising regularly, following a healthy diet, and not smoking—are associated with an 80% reduction in the risk of developing chronic diseases but, in spite of the evidence, large numbers of well‐informed people continue to make bad health decisions. And let's not overlook the all‐too‐frequent poor decision‐making in the sports world: doping and cycling, illegal drug use and swimming, gambling and baseball, and the NFL's Spygate and Deflategate. In the soccer scandal involving its own federation (FIFA), 14 people were indicted in connection with bribery charges.
In all these examples and countless others, people's decision‐making processes failed them. Whatever vetting process was deployed simply wasn't good enough, resulting in sometimes catastrophic outcomes.
Decision Fatigue
Do I stay up late and watch a movie or go to bed now? Do I call home tonight or wait until tomorrow? Do I get up 45 minutes earlier and work out before going to work? Should I skip breakfast because I'm running late? Should I say what I really think or keep my mouth shut? Should I give the guy holding a “homeless” sign five dollars? It's snowing; should I pick my son up at school or have my ex‐husband do it? Should we sell our home and move out of the city? Should we go into debt to pay for our daughter's college? I hate my job! Should I quit? I think our son is sleeping with his girlfriend; should I confront him even though I have no real evidence? Should I go to the party tonight or drive to see my ailing mother? Should I have a burger or a taco? Should I get gas now or later? Should I buy bananas or oranges?
In a span of 15 minutes, we can make 10 or more such decisions. Some decisions are inconsequential and others can change the trajectory of our lives forever. Reflect for a moment on the decisions you made in your life, both good and bad, that had real consequences. Consider how a single decision you made changed everything going forward. Just as success in business depends on the decisions made, so also does enduring success in our personal lives. Decisions can be wise or foolish, considered or automatic, conscious or unconscious, emotional or rational, reasonable or unreasonable.
Some poor decisions can be traced to something called choice overload, meaning too many options, decisions, and choices. All decision‐making consumes energy, and the more we care about the outcome, the more our bodies expend energy (e.g. accelerated heart rate). Eventually, our mental and emotional energy reserves become depleted with the consequence of hitting the proverbial decision‐making wall. As will be pointed out repeatedly throughout this book and particularly in Chapter 11, strategically using rest, physical movement, nutritional intake, and hydration can quickly replenish energy reserves, resulting in better choices, improved self‐regulation, and self‐control.
Wise Decision Insight
Making a high‐stakes decision typically consumes great energy, but following through with it often requires even more. Two elements must be considered:
The energy consumed in making the decision itself
The energy consumed in following through with the decision
Because so much is riding on the decisions we make throughout life, putting the decision‐making process under a microscope with the intent of better understanding how wise decisions are made represents the central focus of this book.
Here is the reality of what we are up against in making wise, constructive decisions:
Human beings are skillful
fiction‐making machines
. Our brains are always working to get us what we want in life and can deploy a surprising number of ingenious reality‐distorting strategies to do just that. If you want to buy a car that you really can't afford, eat unhealthy foods that you know are not good for you, or get involved in an office romance you know should never happen, be very careful because your brain can figure out a way to get you there. And the enabling distortion will happen without you knowing it!
Yes, this marvelous neuro‐processor between your ears is fully capable of getting you to the decision you want by twisting and biasing the information you are considering relative to the decision. In a real way, the human brain is fully capable of duping itself, of hijacking the decision‐making process so completely that the only choice you have left is the one you actually wanted in the first place.
These reality‐distorting mechanisms that your brain can unleash are not unfamiliar to the scientific community. They include motivated reasoning, confirmation bias, cognitive dissonance, rationalization, conformity dynamics, groupthink, and the boomerang effect to mention just a few.
To highlight and better appreciate the decision‐making challenges we face because of the way our brains are wired, we only have to look at the first three just listed, namely motivated reasoning, confirmation bias, and cognitive dissonance.
Motivated reasoning
represents a nonconscious way of reasoning away contradictions that do not support the conclusions we want. Put another way, our own emotions are used to color the facts that are not aligned with our true desires and subvert the precise reasoning pathways that support wise and thoughtful choices. An example of this is line‐calling in tennis. Players tend to see what they want to be true rather than what is actually true. In professional tennis, when a line judge calls a ball “out,” players can be shocked by the call. Even when the call is confirmed by video replay, players argue that the technology must be off rather than acknowledging to themselves they were wrong.
Confirmation bias
is the tendency to unknowingly bias incoming information so that it supports our preexisting perceptions, beliefs, and desires. Sometimes referred to as “myside bias” or “self‐fulfilling prophecy,” confirmation bias is the insidious tendency to support and confirm what we already believe about something or someone in spite of evidence to the contrary. Confirmation bias has been shown to compromise decision‐making in just about every arena of life, from politics to finance and from child rearing to personal health.
Cognitive dissonance
is the tendency to reduce tension and psychological distress arising from incoming contradictory information by nonconsciously altering the conflicting information so that the discomfort is reduced or completely eliminated. We resolve the dilemma by morphing, distorting, or altering the truth so we can sleep better at night and feel less conflicted, but at a very steep cost. In our brain's effort to get us what we want in life, it inadvertently undermines our most precious human asset,
our ability to make wise and sound decisions.
Wise decisions typically require balanced rational and emotional inputs. Short‐term feelings of anger, fear, and anxiety can completely derail our decision‐making process. Intense temporary emotions often lead to tunnel vision which blocks our ability to consider viable alternatives and options in our choices.
Our moment‐to‐moment decisions can be heavily influenced by faulty mental and emotional learnings that were formed early in life. Wise decision‐making can be seriously compromised by narcissism, poor moral character, little self‐control, low self‐esteem, poor stress management skills, and a harmful inner voice, often linked to early parenting practices over which the developing child had
no
control.
We fail to
intentionally
establish clear criteria for granting or denying access to our decision‐making command center. We fail to reality‐test, to challenge our assumptions and beliefs with the potential consequence of allowing faulty data to flow directly into the core of our decision‐making process.
We unknowingly allow a voice to exist in our heads that has the potential to seriously undermine sound decisions. We'll call it your
inner voice.
We fail to upload sufficient decision‐making
priorities
into our brain's command center that are critical for making wise, time‐tested decisions (e.g. ultimate purpose for living, core values and beliefs).
We fail to explore the full range of options that should be considered in the decision‐making process. Tunnel vision can tragically restrict legitimate alternative choices.
We underuse our brain's capacity for
reflective consciousness,
our ability to step outside ourselves, reflect on the reality of what's actually happening, and confront the potential consequences of the decisions we make.
Concrete strategies for dealing with all of these issues will be detailed in the chapters that follow. It's important that you read this book from two perspectives. The first is from the perspective of how the information can improve your own decision‐making skills, and the second is how you can use the information to improve the decision‐making skills of others.
The Cascade of Poor Decision‐Making
Here is an example of how so‐called small, seemingly inconsequential decisions can result in completely unanticipated negative outcomes.
Poor Decision 1: You stayed up late drinking too much wine to soothe your nerves about a nerve‐wracking and highly consequential presentation you're giving for major out‐of‐town corporate executives the next day, hoping that afterward they will offer you the massive job opportunity you've dreamed of and worked toward your whole life. Despite knowing that wine after dinner crushes your sleep quality, you opt for that extra glass. A brutal night of sleep is precisely what happens as a result. Like clockwork, you are up counting sheep at 2:15 a.m., and you awake the next morning wondering if you slept at all, your brain running on fumes. Your body's hunger signals are totally malfunctioning too, as sleep deprivation throws the hunger hormone leptin (the one that messages your brain to stop eating when you are full) totally off kilter. Your brain is screaming
“I'm hungry; I need to eat now!”
as a result, despite having had steak and potatoes, broccoli and buttered bread, chocolate cake and ice cream, and wine just before going to bed.
Poor Decision 2: You make your way to shower and get yourself dressed, all the while trying to clear the mental haze for the big day ahead, dimly aware of a gnawing sensation that you are
famished
. In a dreamlike state of a foggy mind and sluggish body, a spur‐of‐the‐moment decision to skip your morning workout and make a pit stop at Dunkin' for some fast‐acting sugar and caffeine somehow seems like an excellent idea.
“I need some quick fuel to wake up, so I can be cogent and ON for the day ahead.”
Poor Decision 3: You arrive at the office, the wave of glucose from breakfast rushing through your bloodstream. You are in a sugar‐fueled high‐energy state, alert and raring to go, if perhaps a little rushed and scattered. There's an hour to go before your presentation, which you were going to put the finishing touches on, but you get stuck on Googling homes in the neighborhood you'd like to move to with your family when you get the promotion. You are flying high, and it feels like a
when
and not an
if
! In checking out real estate sites, you neglect to check your inbox, which holds important information about your upcoming meeting.
