A Geezer's Guide to Mullet Maintenance and Combover Care E-Book

Chris MARTIN

• Herausgeber: The History Press
• Kategorie: Lebensstil
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2013

Beschreibung

You only need to look at the story of Samson and Delilah to see just how important a man's hairstyle can be. Thankfully, A Geezer's Guide to Mullet Maintenance and Combover Care is guide to selecting, growing and maintaining a stylish, comfortable and well-groomed hair helmet. Including: manly grooming tips; a breakdown of barnets to try out, such as the Curtain Cut (try to look like Johnny Depp; try not to look like Worzel Gummidge) or the Quiff (try to look like Alex Turner from the Arctic Monkeys; try not to look like Nick Grimshaw); a perambulation through hirsute history; a rundown of famous hair aficionados, from Albert Einstein to Paul McCartney via Adolf Hitler; hair and hairstyling records (can you beat the Longest Time Hanging by your Hair record?); the most ridiculous names for hair salons (Crops and Bobbers vs Shear-N-Dipity). The perfect gift for every man: from the metrosexual to those who just want to progress from their mum's bowl cuts; whether he wants to learn how to carefully calm his cowlick or skilfully shine his skinhead.

Leseprobe

Contents

Title

Introduction

A Short History of Hairstyles

Ancient World

Roman Empire

Middle Ages

Renaissance

Louis XIV and the Rise of the Wig

Regency Era

Victorian Era

Twentieth Century

A Guide to Modern Hairstyles

Afro

Bowl cut

Buzz cut

Caesar Cut

Classic Taper

Combover

Cornrows

Crew Cut

Curtain Cut

Dreadlocks

Ducktail

Emo

Mohawk/Fauxhawk

Flattop

Liberty Spikes

Mullet

Poodle Cut

Quiff

Great Hairstyles throughout History

Albert Einstein

Andy Warhol

Oscar Wilde

Paul McCartney

Hunter S. Thompson

‘Rowdy’ Roddy Piper

Adolf Hitler

Bad Hair Day, Every Day: Getting it Wrong

Avoiding Bad Hair Days

Top Ten Worst Celebrity Hairstyles

Quick Fixes for Problem Hair

In the Salon

What Makes a Good Haircut?

How to get the Best out of your Stylist

A Guide to Men’s Hair Products

How to Have Healthy Hair

The World of Hairstyles

Hair Facts

Hair and Hairstyling Records

Quotes about Hair

Ridiculous Names for Hair Salons

Copyright

INTRODUCTION

It was the thirteenth-century cleric William of Wykeham who first argued, ‘manners maketh the man’. Such a sentiment may have flown in medieval times, but the modern geezer on the go is aware that – nowadays – there is a little more to it than remembering your Ps and Qs.

By what yardstick does our fast-moving society judge a man? Is it his car, his mobile phone or his watch? No. Is it his ability to run a marathon maybe, or give CPR, or change a spark plug? Surely not. In our fashion-conscious world, it is his haircut that sets a man apart, for better or worse. While some say we should judge a man solely on the contents of his head, most of us are more concerned by what he’s got on it.

This may seem a little harsh, but modern men no longer have any excuse for debuting a disastrous ’do. At no time in history have they had access to such an incredible range of potential styles, as well as the state-of-the-art technologies and styling aids to ensure their barnets look the business.

In this book, we will tell you all you need to know about making your mullet magnificent. We’ll trace the history of the man mop from the Mongols to Metrosexuals, taking in some of the world’s most famous manes along the way. There are tips on hair care and hairstyling, and even some terrible warnings from the salon chair brought to vivid life by the very worst of celebrity follicle-focused meltdowns.

Our aim is to demonstrate that a decent trim is not just something you need for a job interview, a first date or a wedding, but the gateway to a whole new life of confidence and charisma. A real geezer knows that a good hairstyle says more about you than a million column inches ever could, so whether you choose a DA or Dreadhawk, a parting or a ponytail, this book can help you make sure your ’do is always the dog’s …

A SHORT HISTORY OF HAIRSTYLES

You only need to look at the story of Samson and Delilah to see just how important a man’s hairstyle can be. In this epic Bible story the famously strong man was stripped of his powers by the loss of his locks. While this cautionary tale has inspired writers, sculptors, composers and screenwriters throughout the ages, Samson’s drape is just one of a long list of classic men’s hairstyles over the centuries. What follows is a whistle-stop journey through the hairdos that shaped the world of men as we know it.

Ancient World

Having just evolved from apes and with the first professional hairdresser still several centuries away, it is safe to assume that primeval man must have rocked some kind of Shag cut, even though it may have been difficult to distinguish it from the rest of his abundant body hair. As early and primitive societies formed, the first formal hairstyles began to evolve, with men’s long unruly hair being tied back with hide bands. However, men soon evolved further to use iron or bronze shears to crudely crop their unruly bangs in an effort to control it. By the time of the Babylonian and Assyrian Empires, men were going further than just cropping and began to deliberately style their hair, growing it long and dyeing it black, as well as creating crimping and curling effects with hot irons to set off their long square beards.

The Ancient Egyptians chose to wear their hair very short and even shaved their heads to deal with the desert heat. Sexually ambiguous members of the royal elite would cover their bald domes with elaborate headdresses and wigs held in place with beeswax and resin. These were cut into short symmetrical shapes or styled into long braids before being adorned with ivory hairpins, flowers or golden ornaments. But by the time of the Golden Age of Greece such gender-bending flamboyance was gone, as the Greeks – with their focus on logic and reason – favoured short, pragmatic haircuts.

Roman Empire

Probably the most famous do of the Roman era was created by the emperor Julius Caesar who wore his hair short, brushed forward from the crown and oiled flat against his scalp. Though the Imperial trim set off a laurel crown delightfully, such Caesar cuts had not always been popular in Ancient Rome. In the early – more austere – days of the Republic, Roman men generally followed simple styles inspired by their Greek forebears. It was in the later years of Imperial Rome that the Romans’ narcissism (helped by the fact that they ruled most of the known world) ushered in a whole new age.

Barbering had been introduced to Rome from the Greek colonies of Sicily in 296 BC. Though public barbers were originally used by those who could not afford to keep a slave to cut their hair, the new shops quickly became popular as a venue to catch up on local gossip and political moves in the Senate. As a bonus, these first barbers doubled up as surgeons and dentists, so as well as a haircut and shave, they’d throw in blood-letting, cupping, leeching and even the odd enema. Access to these new (relatively) skilled hairstylists, combined with the wild extravagance of the times, saw the upper classes fashioning elaborate ringlets with curling irons and dusting their hair with coloured powders or – for those committed to the kind of super bling that would put P Diddy to shame – gold dust.

Middle Ages

Following the collapse of the Roman Empire, the Germanic barbarians who overran Europe preferred to focus more on destruction and mayhem than hairdressing. They favoured long, flowing (unwashed) locks and straggly beards – a bit like a nation of psychotic Gandalfs. One ruling family of the barbarian era, the Merovingians, were often referred to as the ‘long-haired kings’ (Latin reges criniti) as their unchecked hair growth clearly distinguished them from the more civilised Franks, who commonly cut their hair short. These barbarians attached great importance to their hair. How long a man’s hair was became a symbol of power and authority, and in battle they tied their tresses in a high Top Knot to appear taller and more terrifying to their short-haired enemies. Indeed, outside of being caught flipping through interior-decoration magazines with his knitting circle, the worst humiliation a barbarian could face was to lose his hair; as a result slaves and war prisoners were routinely shorn to complete their humiliation.

Near the end of the tenth century, the Catholic Church, seeking to curtail the power of the barbarian kings, began to issue edicts against the length of men’s hair. Excommunication by Rome meant the loss of a king’s authority to rule, so these edicts meant Christian kings had to get a haircut and shave pronto or risk being unseated. The results saw a movement towards shoulder-length hair. This was often neatly rolled at the neck to create the Page Boy style, or for the less fashion conscious (e.g. peasants), cut crudely into a Pudding-basin. The clergy were distinguished in society by the Tonsure, a deeply unflattering shaved patch on the top of the head, designed to mimic Christ’s crown of thorns.

Renaissance

The Renaissance was a time of philosophical and cultural revolution across Europe, ushering a new era of scientific endeavour. It also led to a change in hairstyles as freethinkers harked back once more to Ancient Greece and begin to cut their locks off. Legend has it that this trend was further accelerated when Francis I of France accidentally burned off his hair with a torch and his subjects cut their hair shorter in sympathy – usually combining it with a fruity little beard and moustache combo.

But as time went on, men inevitably yearned once again for flamboyance. Hair began to grow longer as dedicated followers of fashion wore long, curled tresses, often oiled and falling over wide, white collars. This style was sometimes accessorised with a single longer lock hanging down the back, tied with a velvet bow.

Super camp monarchism came face to face with stone-face Puritanism during the English Civil War, and such fey beautification understandably became a symbol of division between the warring sides. Followers of Oliver Cromwell decided to crop their hair close to their head as an act of defiance towards the curls and ringlets of the king’s men. This led to the Parliamentary faction’s New Model Army having better-fitting helmets and to be nicknamed ‘Roundheads’.