7,99 €
Niedrigster Preis in 30 Tagen: 7,99 €
Niedrigster Preis in 30 Tagen: 7,99 €
Mehr erfahren.
- Herausgeber: WriteLife Publishing
- Kategorie: Ratgeber
- Sprache: Englisch
Psychotherapist, healer, and artist of being alive, Kayce Stevens Hughlett, offers readers the personal gift of transformation in this devotional daybook. Like Mark Nepo's classic "Book of Awakening," Hughlett invites individuals to enliven their lives day-by-day through 365 practical reflections and prayers of inspiration, purpose, freedom, and joy.
Infused with teachings from historical and current wisdom figures like Carl Jung, Martha Beck, Buddha, Jesus, Lao Tzu, Thomas Merton, Sue Monk Kidd, Anne Lamott, and others, "As I Lay Pondering" feels like sitting down for a conversation with a close friend. Filled with soul, it will meet you where you are whether looking for a recharge or grasping for a lifeline. It is a book you can turn to anytime and read cover to cover, randomly or one entry at a time. Filled with inspiration, short stories, and simple activities to deepen the pathway to presence, this book is the ideal companion for any personal journey.
Das E-Book können Sie in Legimi-Apps oder einer beliebigen App lesen, die das folgende Format unterstützen:
Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2019
Ähnliche
As I Lay Pondering
© 2019 Kayce Stevens Hughlett. All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, or digital (including photocopying and recording) except for the inclusion in a review, without written permission from the publisher.
First published in 2012 by Abeja Press
Seattle, WA 98107
Republished in 2019 by
WriteLife Publishing
(an imprint of Boutique of Quality Books Publishing, Inc.)
Printed in the United States of America
978-1-60808-216-2 (p)
978-1-60808-217-9 (e)
Library of Congress Control Number: 2019945971
Book design by Robin Krauss, www.bookformatters.com
Cover Design: Rebecca Lown, www.rebeccalowndesign.com
Editor: Olivia Swenson
To follow your internal spark,
you must first acknowledge it is there.
Kayce Stevens Hughlett
CONTENTS
AN INVITATION TO PONDER
GENTLE TIPS ON HOW TO PONDER
JANUARY 1 BIENVENUE. HOLA. WELCOME.
JANUARY 2 BE LIKE WATER FLOWING
JANUARY 3 PONDERING
JANUARY 4 THIRTY SPOKES
JANUARY 5 TRAILHEAD
JANUARY 6 DON’T SHY DOWN
JANUARY 7 CLEAR THE WINDSHIELD
JANUARY 8 LISTENING TO THE TWO-YEAR-OLD
JANUARY 9 LISTS
JANUARY 10 THE WORDS WILL NOT COME
JANUARY 11 TALKING HEADS
JANUARY 12 WHEN PIGS FLY
JANUARY 13 RETREAT IS A VERB
JANUARY 14 OLD BRAIN
JANUARY 15 WHISPERS IN THE NIGHT SKY
JANUARY 16 KNIGHT’S JOURNEY
JANUARY 17 LET THE LITTLE CHILDREN COME
JANUARY 18 LADY WISDOM
JANUARY 19 RE-ENTRY
JANUARY 20 ASLAN’S GIFT
JANUARY 21 LET THERE BE LIGHT
JANUARY 22 LIMINAL SPACE
JANUARY 23 ALCHEMIST’S TALE
JANUARY 24 ANYONE THERE?
JANUARY 25 THE “AND” IS ALWAYS NEARBY
JANUARY 26 AND JUDGE NO ONE
JANUARY 27 BE ALIVE!
JANUARY 28 WHAT WE ALREADY KNOW
JANUARY 29 HOME
JANUARY 30 FEMININE WORLD
JANUARY 31 THIN PLACES
FEBRUARY 1 ST. BRIGID’S FEAST DAY
FEBRUARY 2 ANNEALING
FEBRUARY 3 BARREN BEAUTY
FEBRUARY 4 THE BATTLE
FEBRUARY 5 BE MINDFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR
FEBRUARY 6 BLESSED COMFORT
FEBRUARY 7 LUCY AND SHABBAT
FEBRUARY 8 BLIND DATE
FEBRUARY 9 BREAKING OPEN
FEBRUARY 10 WORDS OF KINDNESS
FEBRUARY 11 MANTRA: READ, WRITE, REST
FEBRUARY 12 MARROW OF THE SOUL
FEBRUARY 13 MEDIOCRITY OR BRILLIANCE?
FEBRUARY 14 THE EDGE
FEBRUARY 15 MESSY
FEBRUARY 16 MORPHING
FEBRUARY 17 YOUTH’S CHALLENGE
FEBRUARY 18 MEET THE JOURNEYER
FEBRUARY 19 THE JOURNEYER CONTINUES
FEBRUARY 20 MUSCLE MEMORY
FEBRUARY 21 MOSAIC
FEBRUARY 22 TUB TIME
FEBRUARY 23 IF I BRING MYSELF
FEBRUARY 24 REMINDER: EVERYONE IS A TEACHER
FEBRUARY 25 BE LIKE WATER
FEBRUARY 26 TEMPEST
FEBRUARY 27 WAKING TO A NEW SONG
FEBRUARY 28 TWO CHOICES: LOVE OR FEAR
FEBRUARY 29 HEART HAIKU
MARCH 1 BREATHING IS HARD SOME DAYS
MARCH 2 BREAKING THROUGH
MARCH 3 BRAZOS DE DIOS: PART 1
MARCH 4 BRAZOS DE DIOS: PART 2
MARCH 5 BROKEN FOR YOU
MARCH 6 BULLIES IN DISGUISE
MARCH 7 BUT
MARCH 8 EXHAUSTING INAUTHENTICITY
MARCH 9 EYES OF A CHILD
MARCH 10 EYES OF MY ANCESTORS
MARCH 11 EYES WIDE SHUT
MARCH 12 FEEL YOUR FEELINGS
MARCH 13 LENTEN PRAYER. LIFE PRAYER.
MARCH 14 MY DANCE
MARCH 15 MYSTERY AND MASTERY: PART 1
MARCH 16 MYSTERY AND MASTERY: PART 2
MARCH 17 NAVIGATING
MARCH 18 NAMASTE
MARCH 19 ABOVE AND BELOW
MARCH 20 THE NEXT SMALL STEP
MARCH 21 NO TRESPASSING
MARCH 22 NO WORDS
MARCH 23 NOTES OF MY SONG
MARCH 24 ODE TO THE HOURS
MARCH 25 CHERRY BLOSSOM WISDOM
MARCH 26 SAVOR
MARCH 27 SCRIBBLED ON A SCRAP OF PAPER
MARCH 28 SEEKING SOURCE
MARCH 29 SHADOW REFLECTION
MARCH 30 TRUTH FOUND IN SILENCE
MARCH 31 ROLES
APRIL 1 HOW FOOLISH IS THAT?
APRIL 2 MYSTERY ON THE MOUNTAIN
APRIL 3 MORNING MINDFULNESS
APRIL 4 SIX SENSES OF GOD
APRIL 5 SIPS AND DROPS OF BLESSING
APRIL 6 EVEN GIRLS IN TUTUS CRY
APRIL 7 BEAUTY IN THE (NOT SO) SMALL THINGS
APRIL 8 CALLING
APRIL 9 CAPACITY
APRIL 10 A PIECE OF THE BEGINNING
APRIL 11 CAPTURING FIRE
APRIL 12 CHILDHOOD NOW
APRIL 13 CHOICE
APRIL 14 FELLOWSHIP
APRIL 15 FIGHT, FLIGHT, OR COMPASSIONATE KNOWING?
APRIL 16 FOLLOWING THE THREAD
APRIL 17 FORGET ABOUT COMFORT: PART 1
APRIL 18 FORGET ABOUT COMFORT: PART 2
APRIL 19 OPENING WHAT?
APRIL 20 AWAKENING
APRIL 21 PARADOX AND CONVICTION
APRIL 22 PASSION AND GLORY
APRIL 23 THE PATH IS MADE BY PAUSING
APRIL 24 FREE BIRD
APRIL 25 BUDDING SPRING
APRIL 26 SIMMERING
APRIL 27 SIMPLE AS A LOVE SONG
APRIL 28 LET IT BLOSSOM
APRIL 29 SIMPLICITY
APRIL 30 FRIENDS FOREVER
MAY 1 IN SEARCH OF WINGED WISDOM
MAY 2 WHAT DO I KNOW?
MAY 3 CHRONIC PAIN RELIEF
MAY 4 THISTLE
MAY 5 CLEAN PAIN. DIRTY PAIN.
MAY 6 WHIRLWIND
MAY 7 PAUSE FOR DIRECTIONS
MAY 8 COMPASSION
MAY 9 FRAGILE DREAMS
MAY 10 A PLACE OF RECIPROCITY OR ODE TO TAOS
MAY 11 FREEDOM IS IN THE AIR
MAY 12 SHARED MEMORIES
MAY 13 FRUIT OR VEGGIE
MAY 14 PEOPLE WATCHING
MAY 15 FORMATION
MAY 16 CUTTING THE CORD
MAY 17 TO BE KNOWN
MAY 18 WHIDBEY ISLAND WISDOM
MAY 19 PERMISSION TO BE UNIQUE
MAY 20 PERMISSION TO SHINE
MAY 21 PHYSICAL OR SPIRITUAL EMANCIPATION
MAY 22 SPREADING WINGS
MAY 23 PERFECT STILLNESS
MAY 24 STAND FIRM
MAY 25 STOP. BREATHE. LISTEN.
MAY 26 FIRE OF FREEDOM
MAY 27 COLORS OF YOUR LIFE
MAY 28 GARDENING FOR GOD
MAY 29 BIG LIGHT. BIG SHADOW.
MAY 30 MAGIC’S BAD RAP
MAY 31 THE COLLECTIVE “THEY”
JUNE 1 COMPASSION BEGINS WITH ME
JUNE 2 DRAGONFLY WISDOM
JUNE 3 DAMSELFLY WISDOM
JUNE 4 COMPASSIONATE WATCHER
JUNE 5 CRITIC OR WITNESS?
JUNE 6 COMPOST
JUNE 7 CRUCIBLE
JUNE 8 GOD IS HERE
JUNE 9 INFINITY POOL
JUNE 10 ONE SMALL STEP
JUNE 11 GOD’S WAYS
JUNE 12 DRIFTING
JUNE 13 DESTINATION (UN)KNOWN
JUNE 14 TENDING THE GARDEN
JUNE 15 ARISING PRESENCE
JUNE 16 GOMBEY DANCE
JUNE 17 GRACE ON THE BUS
JUNE 18 HEROES ARE BORN
JUNE 19 PICK UP YOUR ORDINARY
JUNE 20 SIMPLE. PURE. STUNNING.
JUNE 21 HOPE. FAITH. LOVE. FORGIVENESS.
JUNE 22 ENERGY OF INSPIRATION
JUNE 23 TO SPEAK OR NOT TO SPEAK
JUNE 24 STORY FONDLING
JUNE 25 IF ONLY FOR A MOMENT . . .
JUNE 26 SURRENDER AND EMPOWERMENT
JUNE 27 DAYBREAK
JUNE 28 MOMENTS
JUNE 29 ROADBLOCKS
JUNE 30 HARMONY
JULY 1 SUMMER’S SWEET SLOWNESS
JULY 2 PAYING ATTENTION
JULY 3 HUMMINGBIRD
JULY 4 FREEDOM
JULY 5 REFLECTIONS FROM MABEL DODGE HOUSE
JULY 6 MEETING AT THE CROSS
JULY 7 OASIS
JULY 8 GLOW, BABY, GLOW
JULY 9 WHAT MAKES THE DIFFERENCE?
JULY 10 CRYSTAL CLEAR
JULY 11 PASSIONATE LOESS
JULY 12 CYCLES OF SHEDDING
JULY 13 WAKING DREAMS
JULY 14 DANCE OR DIE
JULY 15 GENEROUS ANTS
JULY 16 GROWING PAINS . . . MINE OR HERS?
JULY 17 HEARTBEAT
JULY 18 TWINKLE TWINKLE
JULY 19 CRY OF THE HEART
JULY 20 LOVE ME OR HATE ME, BUT PLEASE DON’T BE INDIFFERENT
JULY 21 REFUSAL OF SILENCE
JULY 22 THE LISTENER
JULY 23 RE-GATHERING
JULY 24 HEARTS ACHING WITH JOY
JULY 25 REMEMBRANCE TOWARD FREEDOM
JULY 26 SLOW DOWN
JULY 27 THANK HEAVEN FOR LITTLE GIRLS
JULY 28 THREADS. CRUMBS. ROCKS.
JULY 29 TO BE OR NOT TO BE
JULY 30 TOURING YOUR OWN TOWN
JULY 31 TRAVELING MUSE
AUGUST 1 ORIGINAL MEDICINE
AUGUST 2 YOUNG AT HEART
AUGUST 3 SUMMER SOUL SINGING
AUGUST 4 LIVING ON RETREAT
AUGUST 5 TRANSPORTED IN TIME
AUGUST 6 WHAT COLOR IS YOUR WORLD?
AUGUST 7 TAOS MOUNTAIN
AUGUST 8 UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
AUGUST 9 INDIFFERENCE
AUGUST 10 KINGDOM COME
AUGUST 11 GOOD MORNING, SUNSHINE
AUGUST 12 PONDERING SEA GLASS
AUGUST 13 DANCING IN THE WATER OF LIFE
AUGUST 14 DARE I ASK?
AUGUST 15 DANCING WITH THE JELLYFISH
AUGUST 16 THE DARKEST NIGHT
AUGUST 17 HOLDING TIGHT
AUGUST 18 ON THE LIGHTER SIDE
AUGUST 19 HOW OR WHY DON’T MATTER
AUGUST 20 I STOPPED DREAMING WHEN . . .
AUGUST 21 HOPE
AUGUST 22 MOMENT’S OFFERING
AUGUST 23 RIDING THE WAVE OF BREATH
AUGUST 24 RILEY
AUGUST 25 RIPENING DREAMS
AUGUST 26 TRANSITION
AUGUST 27 TRUE CONFESSIONS
AUGUST 28 TURN YOUR FROWN UPSIDE DOWN
AUGUST 29 UNEXPECTED WHOLENESS
AUGUST 30 FAREWELL OR FAILURE?
AUGUST 31 NOT TODAY
SEPTEMBER 1 EVERLASTING LOVE
SEPTEMBER 2 START YOUR OWN DRUM CIRCLE
SEPTEMBER 3 SNAPSHOTS OF SPACIOUSNESS
SEPTEMBER 4 MEETING LIBERTY
SEPTEMBER 5 IN PRAISE OF SUNSHINE
SEPTEMBER 6 DO I NEED A LIST TO GET IT RIGHT?
SEPTEMBER 7 DIALOGUE WITH THE DESTROYER
SEPTEMBER 8 DOING WITHOUT DOING
SEPTEMBER 9 OFF TO THE RACES
SEPTEMBER 10 A GLIMPSE OF AN EMPRESS
SEPTEMBER 11 INNER POET
SEPTEMBER 12 TABLE OF TRUTH
SEPTEMBER 13 FLOWING TRUTH
SEPTEMBER 14 THE FACE OF A CHILD
SEPTEMBER 15 DOSES OF DELIGHT
SEPTEMBER 16 TRUST FOR THE DAY
SEPTEMBER 17 IMAGINE
SEPTEMBER 18 IMPACT AND LOSS
SEPTEMBER 19 SELF-INDULGENCE
SEPTEMBER 20 ROOM FOR DOUBT
SEPTEMBER 21 INCARNATIONAL SPARK
SEPTEMBER 22 CHANGING SEASONS
SEPTEMBER 23 SACRED
SEPTEMBER 24 SATURATED
SEPTEMBER 25 ARE YOU AN ASCETIC?
SEPTEMBER 26 AESTHETICALLY PLEASING
SEPTEMBER 27 SAFE LANDING
SEPTEMBER 28 UNFINISHED
SEPTEMBER 29 THE “UNGODLY” HOUR
SEPTEMBER 30 UNMERITED FAVOR
OCTOBER 1 HOME
OCTOBER 2 QUILT OF LIFE
OCTOBER 3 LIFE THROUGH A CAMERA LENS
OCTOBER 4 THE JOURNEY HAS ALREADY BEGUN
OCTOBER 5 SACRAMENTS AND FLOWING WATER
OCTOBER 6 SOULFUL TRAVEL
OCTOBER 7 THE SKY IS ON FIRE
OCTOBER 8 INHALE LOVE AND LIGHT
OCTOBER 9 JE COMPRENDE
OCTOBER 10 DROPS OF EMOTION
OCTOBER 11 UP AND DOWN SERIOUS
OCTOBER 12 RESTLESS
OCTOBER 13 RACING THE GARBAGE
OCTOBER 14 NOBLE SILENCE
OCTOBER 15 DOUBT AS FRIEND
OCTOBER 16 WHAT DO YOU WANT TO LIE ABOUT?
OCTOBER 17 LECTIO DIVINA
OCTOBER 18 WOODS OF SPLENDOR
OCTOBER 19 PAUCITY OF LISTENING
OCTOBER 20 INJUSTICE
OCTOBER 21 INSIDE OUT
OCTOBER 22 INTENTION
OCTOBER 23 ROOTED IN DANCE
OCTOBER 24 SAND DOLLARS
OCTOBER 25 VESSELS
OCTOBER 26 MORE VESSELS
OCTOBER 27 VINES, ROOTS, AND SERENDIPITY
OCTOBER 28 FREEZE-FRAME
OCTOBER 29 VOICE MODERATIONS
OCTOBER 30 BLESSEDNESS
OCTOBER 31 CHANGING SEASONS
NOVEMBER 1 WAITING
NOVEMBER 2 RESISTANT NESTLING
NOVEMBER 3 TENDER SPACE
NOVEMBER 4 I REACH AND . . .
NOVEMBER 5 EBB AND FLOW
NOVEMBER 6 SEEKING PERMISSION
NOVEMBER 7 EVERYONE IS AN ARTIST
NOVEMBER 8 INTIMATE ALLIES
NOVEMBER 9 IS GOD A GIANT OUIJA BOARD?
NOVEMBER 10 THE TIME IS NOW
NOVEMBER 11 WAITING FOR RUACH
NOVEMBER 12 WAITING ISN’T A GAME
NOVEMBER 13 BOUNDARIES
NOVEMBER 14 MORE BOUNDARIES
NOVEMBER 15 THE WATCHERS
NOVEMBER 16 WE’VE ALL BEEN BIRTHED
NOVEMBER 17 WEB OF LIFE
NOVEMBER 18 WHAT IF LOVE IS IT ?
NOVEMBER 19 WHAT IS OUR WORK?
NOVEMBER 20 TANGIBLE OR INTANGIBLE?
NOVEMBER 21 WHAT STATION ARE YOU TUNED TO?
NOVEMBER 22 WHAT’S YOUR BEST?
NOVEMBER 23 WHERE CREATIVITY AND SPIRITUALITY MEET
NOVEMBER 24 MORE THAN ENOUGH
NOVEMBER 25 GRATITUDE AND GRIEF
NOVEMBER 26 WHISPERS
NOVEMBER 27 FIERCE WARRIOR
NOVEMBER 28 DESERT LESSONS ON SELF-CARE
NOVEMBER 29 FAITHFUL TO LIFE
NOVEMBER 30 SISTER, SISTER
DECEMBER 1 DRAFTY WINDOW: PART 1
DECEMBER 2 DRAFTY WINDOW: PART 2
DECEMBER 3 BECOMING FIRE
DECEMBER 4 HOW DO YOU DEFINE BUSY?
DECEMBER 5 GRACIOUS TENDERS OF FIRE
DECEMBER 6 DESERT AND DARKNESS
DECEMBER 7 THE RAINS CAME DOWN . . .
DECEMBER 8 A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS?
DECEMBER 9 SPOKEN WORDS. SEEN WORDS.
DECEMBER 10 VESSELS AND EMPTY SPACE
DECEMBER 11 JOURNEY THROUGH THE NIGHT
DECEMBER 12 JUDGMENT AND OBSERVATION
DECEMBER 13 FEAST DAY OF ST. LUCIA
DECEMBER 14 WIDE OPEN SPACE
DECEMBER 15 SHADOWS
DECEMBER 16 WITHOUT WRITING
DECEMBER 17 WORDLESS SOUNDS AND SIGHS
DECEMBER 18 LAUGHTER. TEARS. HOPE. MAGIC.
DECEMBER 19 YES OR NO
DECEMBER 20 YIELD TO SIMPLICITY
DECEMBER 21 BELLY OF THE WHALE
DECEMBER 22 UNFOLDING
DECEMBER 23 WHO KNOWS YOU BEST?
DECEMBER 24 REACHING FOR SOLITUDE
DECEMBER 25 A MOTHER’S OFFERING
DECEMBER 26 DID YOU CELEBRATE WELL?
DECEMBER 27 MUSINGS ON A WINTER DAY
DECEMBER 28 FOUR CALLING BIRDS
DECEMBER 29 MIRACLE? YES, PLEASE.
DECEMBER 30 TIDES
DECEMBER 31 DIAMONDS IN THE SKY
WITH GRATITUDE . . .
Capturing a spark and holding it in one’s hand is virtually impossible from a logical point of view. However, if you choose to believe in a world that drifts spontaneously between vision and hope, it becomes not only possible, but also richly inevitable. For me, the publication of this book is the manifestation of my ultimate spark. It is witness to an innate tenacity to follow what began as a glimmer and grow it into something tangible and potentially heartwarming.
To pause and ponder is to consider something—anything—deeply, often through meditation and always with the possibility of bringing greater meaning. This book arose during a time of personal strife and grew to serve as witness to a life transformed. It honors the moments, great and small, I’ve experienced along the way. What originated as a series of journal entries has morphed into this daybook of poetry, prose, and personal musings. Have you ever known deep within your soul that you had to do something or your life would not be complete? The knowing is your spark communicating. The doing is your acknowledgment of the spark. As I Lay Pondering arose from that place of deep knowing. Compelled to write this volume as a witness to my ever-growing body of reflections, I offer it to you with the hope that it will add richness and awareness to your life.
At the point in my journey where I began writing, I had two choices: one, to let overwhelming events swallow me whole and conceal my spark forever, or two, to find my authentic voice by beginning to write. Writing chose me. Yes, you read that correctly, writing chose me.
While trying to find stable ground during this perplexing period, I was given an assignment by a sagacious teacher. At his request, I was invited to find a quiet spot, be still, listen attentively, and simply record anything of note. Within moments of receiving this initial task, I found a quiet corner and the words began to inexplicably pour through me and out of me onto the paper. They flowed clear and strong like a torrent released when a dam breaks. I wrote and wrote as if guided by another force until I ultimately cried, “Enough!” while simultaneously witnessing my pen run out of ink. I had just recorded my first miracle. It was not to be the last.
What you hold in your hands is a culmination of this journey. I was compelled to write this book as acknowledgement of the internal spark I believe each of us carries. My hope is that the words shared in As I Lay Pondering will provide essential kindling to ignite the flame of your life. May you know the joy of following your own spark. May you be present to the life you have in order to experience the one you desire. May you pause and ponder thoughtfully and often.
— Kayce
Dedicated to my faithful four-legged companions,
Curry and Aslan
My hope is that As I Lay Pondering will become a trusted friend in your personal journey. Whether you’re seeking a simple dose of daily inspiration, riding a crest of fulfillment, or floundering in a dark sea, it is designed to meet you where you are.
As I Lay Pondering isn’t a chronological story. Each entry is a complete lesson, so you can begin reading at any point within the year. Since original publication in 2012, I’ve discovered there are several types of readers. There is the sequential reader who must begin on January 1 and read straight through the year. The intuitive reader likes to start by opening to a random page to see what shows up. The what-about-me reader starts with major event dates in his or her life (birthday, anniversary, etc.). Bottom line, As I Lay Pondering is flexible and meant to be used as you like! Read it once. Read it one hundred times. New awareness will show up each time you invite inspiration to join you.
Every entry has a brief story from the author’s perspective and is followed by an invitation to step into your own experience. You may find deep resonance or disagree with different passages. Either understanding is great as long as you are thinking about what is meaningful for you. Activities at the end of each entry vary in length and are loosely categorized for frame of reference (e.g., Meditation, Journal Meditation, Visualization, and Action).
There is no right or wrong way to engage with this book. The thoughts shared come from this author’s perspective with the invitation to ponder how the words apply to your life (or don’t). As I Lay Pondering is a companion you can turn to anytime you need a dose of inspiration or motivation. It’s the perfect alternative to scanning social media and my hope is that you’ll feel inspired after spending ten minutes each day pondering. It’s a small investment to make in living a better life.
As a sojourner in life, I have traveled far and returned home time and again. Along the way, I have tamed dragons, met enchanting people, crossed moats and mountains, dipped my toes in foreign seas, traversed mazes of language and maps, dined on exquisite foods and wine, and been greeted by exotic beings and many mortal creatures. I have stepped into worlds of fantasy and been mesmerized and moved by simplicity and silence. My path has wound through limitless alleyways. My feet have blistered and burned. I have sipped champagne, nibbled on market food, been toasted by locals, and eaten alone. I have strolled along the Seine, hiked the peaks of Mt. Sinai, and logged countless miles through my local Seattle streets.
My body has been cramped into a coach compartment seat, as well as wrapped beneath a cozy first-class blanket. I have stayed in five-star hotels, slept in mosquito-infested crannies, and luxuriated under the magnificence of stars. My body has rocked and rolled in a train sleeper while crossing borders through the night. My passport has acquired new stamps and more than a few languages have been exquisitely mangled by my earnest efforts.
As we enter a new year, I acknowledge my life is rich and full, tender and tempestuous, miraculous and mundane. There is no magic spell and no destination other than now. At the risk of being trite, I firmly attest that home is where the heart is, and every twinkling in life deserves its due acknowledgement.
Visualization and Meditation
Close your eyes and imagine the coming year as a hero’s journey. What challenges, dreams, and adventures lie on your path? Breathe deeply and envision yourself as the conquering hero(ine). Allow the feeling of triumph and freedom to permeate your body. Make a conviction to carry that feeling with you daily.
For several years, at the dawn of the new year, I’ve chosen a word to accompany me for the months ahead. In 2010, the word was water. The year began with solo winter walks along the shore not far from my house and drew to a close while I nestled into a friend’s seaside cabin with my beloved husband. Water greeted me with her fluid mystery and manifested in ways I could never have imagined. A winter vacation included first-time surfing lessons and a mesmerizing encounter with a sea turtle. I learned throughout the year to “go with the flow,” and as the year sailed to a close, having rushed by like a flash flood, I found myself grateful for the seas I had traveled.
There is an old tale of a man who has the choice between a map and a boat to accompany him on his journey. Choosing the boat, the man’s wise teacher offers these words: “You are the boat. Life is the sea.” I’ve always loved those words, because wherever we find our center (our boat), we have the ability to go with the flow, weather the storms, and enjoy the immensity of life. My boat carried me well during the year of water. I patched it when necessary and provided a new coat of paint or two to spiff things up, always remembering the importance of caring for my vessel and appreciating the sailor’s life.
Visualization
Picture yourself as a boat. Breathing fully, allow yourself to move with water’s flow. Immerse yourself in the imagery as you imagine being held and carried by the sea.
Waking up at the beginning of the new year, we shake our heads and wonder how we got here. Time flies by and we forget how to slow down and listen. Holiday excitement pushes aside daily contemplation and restoration.
Somewhere after the first of the year, I begin to look for that small window where rest comes more easily and attention turns toward inner and outer murmurs. I look for the space where I am drawn to sunlight dancing across the winter landscape. I tune into the wind rustling through barren branches. I hear the whir of the heater alongside the call of a lone crow. I find myself in sync with the voices of my loved ones, and life becomes a veritable symphony in creation. Blank pages of my journal await my thoughts and musings. Ponderings of what lies ahead await their place on the blank canvas. Many motions or metaphorical strokes may feel repetitive, but each day will be fresh. There can be no other exactly like it. Every moment is its own the instant it happens.
Journal Meditation
With journal in hand, meditate upon this threshold of time between the holiday crush and today. Draw a line through the center of your journal page. On one side, list what was life-giving during the past year. On the other side, write the things that were life-draining. Conclude by noticing if there is a particular hope you’d like to carry forward into the New Year.
“Thirty spokes join one hub.”
—Tao Te Ching
Today I must write gently, lovingly, and with ease. Allure wants to flow across the page. The wings of a thousand angels float through the sky disguised as clouds of cotton and the majestic olive-colored mountain beckons to be seen. I desire to capture this space and hold it gently without must’s or should’s. There is only now.
Loveliness and lightness of being flow through me and around me, raising eyes toward the sky and lifting arms and hearts to heaven. Resounding heartbeats pound as one. Moving bodies choreograph a dance for this perfect moment, never done before and never to be repeated. Thirty spokes create a wheel filled with love and light, the air in between as important as the container of friendship and solidity.
Today I must write about love, loveliness, hope, and ease. Moving toward tomorrow. Living only for today.
Artistic Meditation
Draw a simple bicycle wheel on a piece of paper. Name each spoke after something you see or feel right now. Express gratitude for each of these spokes.
“Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.”
—Alcoholics Anonymous, Eleventh Step
Pondering often leads me down a trail marked, “When did this all begin?” “This” can be anything. Life. Creation. Relationship. Career. Anything. When people ask me how long I’ve been writing, one trailhead always comes to mind: the day I got out of my own way and acknowledged listening to the Universe. Unbeknownst to me, my true calling had started aligning and coming into focus.
Participating in an introduction course to Twelve Step work, our instructor essentially asked us to meditate on command when we got to the Eleventh Step. “Yeah, right,” my internal cynic grumbled. I couldn’t imagine solemnly quieting in such a brief period of time. But being the obedient student, I decided to at least go through the motions of jotting down any thoughts that came forward during this quiet time.
From the moment I sat down, the words began to flow onto the page in near prophetic style. I wrote and listened and listened and cried. My heart quaked and I followed. The tumblers began to click into place as I wrote and wrote until finally my pen ran out of ink. I tried to ignore what was happening, and then the internal prompt came again.
Share this. Share it with the group.
“No way,” my scared self shuddered. The next thing I knew, I was standing in front of a group of near strangers in a shabby hotel in Mexico, reading what I had penned. People listened with rapt attention as I passionately choked out the words that brought tears and connection throughout the room. I imagine this is what some might call an out-of-body experience.
When I finished, a new friend (who is now an old friend) inquired, “How long have you been a writer?” Never having considered myself in this light, my instinctual response was, “I don’t write.” Little did I know I was standing at the trailhead of a wondrous new adventure.
Journal Meditation
With journal nearby, quietly center yourself and begin to follow your breath. As thoughts arise, jot them down as the trail leads. If you have difficulty free flowing, begin with a prompt such as “This all began when . . .”
Stepping out of old patterns begins from the inside. Early in my life, someone other than myself declared me shy. It’s taken years to know and believe that I always have everything I need to be fully me. All I have to do is acknowledge it, first to myself, and then to others (if that’s what’s necessary). I need to speak. To be heard. To be witnessed. I must listen to myself and ask moment by moment, what is it I need? And if the answer comes out demanding a bigger audience, a louder voice, or more space in the room, I have the choice to make it happen. I get to decide when my desire has been met. Then, and only then, can I declare myself satisfied. Only I can discern what “satisfaction” is for me, and if I shy away and remain silent, then no one (especially me) will ever know what I need.
Standing alone one still dark night, I practiced listening and turning my insides out. On this evening, my rising desire was to have my written word spoken and heard. With tentative boldness, I asked one friend if she would listen, and she asked another, and soon the gathering burgeoned to an audience of a dozen. The miracle swelled as I cleared a young girl’s throat and stepped into a grown woman’s voice. I read. They witnessed. Together we laughed, cried, and applauded. They met me where I was as I offered them a map toward my deepest desires.
One crystal night, I stood on the edge and tenderly listened. I offered my voice within and without. I didn’t shy down and tears transformed to joy. The night danced with magic. The shy girl healed a misplaced wound as she risked stepping from the inside out.
Journal Meditation
With journal close, consider these two questions: 1) What would it look like to turn your insides out? 2) What does your heart demand yet you keep hidden? Begin by writing these dreams and demands in your own private journal. Name them for yourself, then pick one item off this list and share it with another person today.
Under ideal circumstances, my morning meditation leads to setting an intention for the day. During one sitting, the words “clean and clear” popped into my mind. As I pondered this meaning, I recalled the previous morning when I arrived at my car only to find a hard frost covering the windshield. Being in a hurry to get to an appointment, I was frustrated and didn’t have time to properly scrape the windows. Using my museum membership card as a not-very-effective tool, I managed to clear just enough space to peek out through the windshield. It was still dark outside and the space was narrow, so I was on high alert with my body hunkered down the entire way to my destination. Anxiety was my companion because I didn’t know when a bike, car, or pedestrian might cross my dimly lit path. It was quite uncomfortable, yet I pressed on because I was in a rush. I managed to arrive at my endpoint without incident, but the way there certainly wasn’t clean and clear.
Isn’t this just like life? When we’re not clean and clear with ourselves (i.e., when we ignore our feelings or circumstances), we jump or startle when something comes out of the dark and/or we live life curled up inside ourselves. How much better would it be to have a clear windshield and less obstructed vision? Doesn’t clean and clear sound more satisfying than crouched and constricted? The obstacles don’t necessarily go away, but with clean space we have increased opportunity to see clearly.
Artistic Meditation
Take a blank piece of notebook paper and poke a small hole in the center. Bring the paper to your eye and look through the hole. Check in with your body. Is this experience satisfying? Pause. Enlarge the opening and look again. Continue this process and notice how your vision and responses change.
“Jesus said, Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”
—Matthew 19:14
Have you ever witnessed the power of a two-year-old? Or perhaps you remember being that age yourself? Can you recall having the audacity to say “No!” or “Mine!” without apology? Are you able to call on that energy today (in a slightly more adult fashion, of course)?
Saying no has been a very odd thing for me to consider since I really don’t view myself as a yes-girl, especially when unreasonable demands come my way. Still, I’m aware of certain places where I naturally revert to patterns of hanging on. Transition arrives slowly when it comes to letting go of people, places, or things I consider an integral part of my growth and development. There are times, however, when it’s essential to take hold of something different. The letting go often requires the tenacity of a two-year-old.
So, what do you think? Do you have an inner two-year-old begging to come out and scream, “No!” or “No more!” or “Not yet!”? Where do you desire to be empowered to let go of the familiar and claim something new? To solidly declare, “Mine”? Perhaps the power sits in the voice of a little person within you.
Active Meditation
Flip through a magazine or photo book and find an image of a child about two years old. Explore through the eyes of this child as you ask the question, “What do you desire?” With your non-dominant hand, record the child’s response. Notice the quality of the emotions that arise. What feels like “yes” in your body? What feels like “no”?
Every now and then I wake up with incessant lists running through my mind. Why lists? Why not poetry or even prose? Our culture has taught us to live by lists. Do this. Do that. You aren’t successful if you don’t get things done. It’s easy to get caught up in everyone else’s should do’s.
Whose standards do you use for productivity or success? Personally, I’ve tried to develop ways to redefine success by coming back to the present moment and asking what needs to happen right now. Through gentle mindfulness, I’m able to shift my train of thought from traditional should do’s toward life-giving must do’s. These involve things like watching a beautiful sunset. Listening to my dog breathe. Taking time for me to breathe. Stopping to smell the roses. Moving my body freely without prohibitive intention or purpose. Listening. Prayer. Simply being.
To pursue contentment, it’s important to open up internal space and allow it to find us. And so, we write our lists and mark them off—not to be successful in the worldly sense, not to show how much we have accomplished, but to make space for joy and content living.
Don’t get me wrong—I love the simple joy of completing a task, a pat on the back, or a line drawn through a to-do list item. It feels even more sublime when I know I’m making space for things I treasure most.
Meditation
Consider what’s on your list today. Why is it there? What will you feel when you’ve marked it off? Before you move on with your day, make sure there’s at least one great, feel-good item on the list. Create space for that item.
the words will not come. they do not flow like water.
they drip in my mind interrupting solace like a leaky faucet.
they come in ragged, jagged fits and bursts and then they resist—stop—refuse to congeal and thus leave me wanting—yearning—aching and unsure of what needs or wants to be said or heard or read.
my words are insufficient. cards held close to my vest.
“thank you but your words are not right for us.” “have you tried this or that?”
words of advice slip through the air and hang like graffiti on a wall.
needing words to communicate—to feel complete. finding words get in the way.
interpretation. collision.
mood and mystery.
is there meaning in this text? mine or yours?
the inner (and sometimes outer) critic speaks. softly.
loudly.
in fits and spurts.
in screams and sighs. the words will not come. and they will not stop.
Journal Meditation
With pen and paper, spend ten minutes writing whatever comes to mind. Set a timer and keep your pen moving for the allotted time. If the words will not come, then write that: “the words will not come.” Express gratitude to yourself for this simple offering of words.
There’s a great scene from a campy movie of the nineties where two characters have their heads severed and then reattached to the bodies of small dogs. It’s an amusing vision and one that sticks in my mind as I think about how often we, as human beings, try to sever our heads and disengage from our bodies. We begin to believe our mind is the only valuable tool we possess. We fail to notice our bodies screaming for attention as we numb them through work, addiction, television, food, and busy-ness.
The only thing I might change in the movie scene would be to attach a head to a cat’s body and see what happens. Many times I’ve sat writing while my cat pushes his body into my lap and nudges my hand and arm with his nose. He maneuvers his feline curves until my fingers begin to knead the fur on his back and his motor begins to purr with contentment. I wonder if he thinks about what he’s doing. Or does he simply inhabit his whole self and move with the full expression of it?
Learning to trust your body and to listen to it brings compassion and integration to yourself and thus to the greater world. Body, mind, and spirit listen, trust, and move together—not as a disembodied head, not as something to fight or numb. The pieces become whole and begin to purr with contentment.
Body Practice
Place both feet evenly on the floor and begin to balance your body. Follow your breath for a few cycles and relax where you are. Scan your body and notice if there is one place that calls for attention—perhaps a tight muscle, an achy joint, a queasy stomach. For the next few moments, direct your breath to that area and listen to what your body might have to say.
Pedrita gazed upward into the night sky, pondering the question: When will I ever learn to fly? Her nights were dream-filled while her days were spent in the barnyard surrounded by other swine. The others passed their hours trudging back and forth between feed trough and mud pit. They slogged through the days mimicking perfect barnyard behavior infused with virtually no enthusiasm.
Pedrita, however, knew she was destined for more. Instead of scarfing down her slop, she would pause and be curious about where her meal had been before. Whose leftovers was she sharing? Did the grains come from the field visible beyond the fence? Could her mother’s crankiness be explained by a gluten intolerance? Pedrita spent her waking hours pondering and pondering. Even though the other animals made fun of her and called her wacky, she offered them kindness and gentleness rather than match their derision.
Every night she would gaze into the heavens and imagine herself floating among the stars. She could see herself reflected in the constellations and knew she was special and shiny. She tried to tell her friends about the magic night sky, but they were more concerned about the next meal and what everyone else was doing. Pedrita would not be dissuaded. She continued to dream her dreams and wish upon the glowing stars. She saw beauty in everything and offered compassion unceasingly, even to the piglets who laughed at her wistfulness. Nothing could deter her from reaching for the stars.
Each evening while standing under the moonlit sky, she offered compassion to the whole world—especially the parts she didn’t understand. She sincerely believed we are all made of stars, and as she nurtured this belief, something gradually changed within her. Her heart sprouted wings and under the winds of generous compassion, one night she defied gravity and rose to join the twinkling lights of the sky.
She quit trying to convince others to change and saw her mates perfect as they were with their slogging and slopping. By day, she was a simple swine reaching out to others through curiosity and kindness. Little did they know, however, that through these daily actions she nurtured the incredible lightness of being that carried her, Pedrita the pig, soaring through the starlit night.
Ponder and Apply
Pause and ponder Pedrita’s tale. How will you defy gravity today?
Retreat: to withdraw, retire or draw back, especially for shelter or seclusion.
The lexicon of our modern day insists that one must leave home, go away, and/or spend lots of money to officially be on retreat. This perception is bothersome to me because what happens to people without accrued vacation time or resources to afford an expensive spa? It’s time to change our thinking. In my experience, daily life is totally accessible as an ongoing retreat center. It’s a place where at any moment in time we have the ability to take a pause and seek shelter from our thoughts or seclusion from our surroundings. If we can change our thinking, we can change our mood. When we allow ourselves to separate from narrow definitions and expand our notion of “retreat,” life becomes a playground.
In this current moment, I sit in my neighborhood café and take a break from writing at home. As the pull of distractions, like laundry and Internet, became too great, I chose to create a new space of shelter, seclusion, and inspiration. The smell of espresso now fills my nostrils as a fresh breeze floats through open windows. Smooth jazz music and the patter of quiet conversation soothe my clanging thoughts. Local artwork flanks my sides and a soft leather chair cushions my body. I begin to imagine the laughter that will come this evening when I gather with family and it makes me smile. Pausing, I take in all that surrounds me and gratefully declare, “Here and now, I am on retreat.”
Meditation
Set aside time today for your own retreat. Make space to intentionally draw back from the tensions that clamor for your attention. Begin with several deep breaths and the declaration, “Here and now, I am on retreat.”
There is a voice inside our heads that comes from the places of old and is reptilian in nature. Karen Armstrong simply calls it “old brain.” Seth Godin, Martha Beck, and others name it our “lizard.” It also goes by such pseudonyms as the inner critic, a devil on your shoulder, or possibly some persistent family member like Aunt Edith or your mother. It is the voice that keeps us in check and goes back to primordial times when all we needed was to be safe, fed, and able to procreate. Since there are no saber-toothed tigers stalking us today, our brain has a tendency to make up stuff that emulates danger.
As it is an old brain, it is both sophisticated and naive in a very primitive way. My inner critic says things like, Who do you think you are? No one will read this drivel! Stop while you’re ahead, fool. It doesn’t sound very helpful, does it? I want to shout back and name call, too, in a display of my own unevolved self. Experience, however, demonstrates that what we resist persists. Fighting, pushing, ignoring, and shouting back all feel like resistance to me. Perhaps a new tactic is in order. Pause. Breathe. Listen a little more closely.
Hey, Lizard, what do you really want? Like a sultry teenager or a petulant child, she pouts and whines and calls me more names. By engaging in the name-calling, the drama escalates and no one wins, so I choose to listen more deeply. What she really wants is to simply keep me safe. By convincing me to back off from my goals—which entail taking risk—she thinks she’s performing her job successfully. Counterintuitive to my basic instincts to battle her, I notice responding with laughter, kindness, humility, and boldness is more effective in quieting down this peevish child.
What do you really want? Could there be something helpful beneath all that brain noise? I understand my lizard also wants to be heard—just like me. Hmmm. Perhaps a compassionate bent is the best choice, even though placing my fingers in my ears and screaming, “I can’t hear you,” can be quite appealing. Petulance or compassion—which will I choose today?
Journal Meditation
In your journal, write down one statement that your old brain uses to distract you, such as “You can’t do __________.” Ask the brain why. Record the answer. Repeat. Continue this for at least five whys and notice what else the old brain may be trying to communicate.
When I raise my eyes to the night heavens and my heart reaches skyward, a world of infinite possibility surrounds me. The stars wrap around my soul like a satin scarf draped over exposed shoulders on a cool summer’s eve. My heart hears the Big Dipper whisper with a crystal voice, “Your cup runneth over. Yes, yours.”
The eyes of my heart remember Egyptian skies and I’m transported back in time until I lie giggling next to my aureate buddy, gasping at the brilliance of a hundred shooting stars. When I look into the endless sky, my heart recalls Hawaiian nightfall, lying flat-backed, mesmerized alongside my lineage, surrounded by friends and frogs.
My heart experiences new life and worlds unlived. It gasps, sobs, and rejoices at the magnificence I cannot name yet already know. When I look up at the night sky, I see darkness and light. Death and life. Dreams and loss. The sky carries it all—from here to time’s end and all that has gone before. I see angels’ wings and God’s whisper. Tea lights on an ocean of unknown, unknowing, undone, unfinished—un-ness. The night sky reaches from the heavens and pulls my heart upward, always. Yes, always.
Action Invitation
Make a date to go stargazing. Once there, breathe deeply. Pause. Ponder. Remember. What do you see in the night sky?
Have you ever wondered what heaven might feel like? Can you imagine the energy? Once upon a time, a glimpse of heaven showed itself while I shared a celebration with seven mighty souls who had just completed a transformational workshop based on the hero’s journey. The vitality on this occasion was palpable. Laughter. Tears. Words of power and clarity filled the air. Humility. Wonder. Delight. Grown men’s faces transformed into tender little boys. Gratitude reigned. Awe. Thankfulness.
My own heart filled with joy. Wordlessness overtook me. I was surrounded by pure love energy and acceptance. Everyone in the room was connected and transcended through this love. As these individuals wholly embraced themselves, they were able to effortlessly extend their love and graciousness toward others. This unity is the ultimate hope for the world. This was my glimpse of heaven.
The process to arrive at this place, however, was anything but effortless. These men fought long, hard, and well. They surprised themselves and challenged their mentors at every turn. They were gracious, frustrating, lovable, eclectic, and endearing. It was an honor to step in and witness their transformation. Belly laughs bursting to life. Heads held higher and words spoken with more clarity. Humility and love shone from their faces. Beautiful, wonderful, unique men. All so different yet all the same. Seeking what they had forgotten and resolving, or at least understanding a bit better, the battles inside that keep them from living freely.
This was a new day as these knights marched forward with their armor abundantly shinier. Through their bravery and courage to seek something better for themselves, they created a great gift to the world in which we all live. They showed me a tangible version of heaven on earth.
Visualization
Breathe deeply and begin to draw attention to your heart center. Imagine there is armor surrounding this area with rust holding it in place. Allow yourself to feel the weight. With each subsequent breath, begin to notice the rust dissolving until the armor falls away. Breathe into the new spaciousness of this area and spend a few moments dreaming what you could offer the world from this open space.
When and how do we cease to be childlike? Must we? Is it a requirement for adulthood? Jesus said, “Let the little children come.” It sounds so inviting. It certainly makes me feel like I’m closer to God in a simple, childlike state than in all the seriousness of adulthood.
When did things get so complicated? When did we become the grownups? Is there a button that gets pushed? Is it irreversible? I think the change begins when the world starts to press in. The negative messages start to come. “Don’t do this.” “Don’t do that.” “Don’t act like a child.”
Why not? The kingdom of heaven is for the children of God. The children—not the grownups, not the fuddy duddies, not the policy makers. Blessed are the poor, the meek, the humble. Who is more poor (and therefore rich) than a newborn babe? Who is more meek (and thus bolder) than a child who knows no condemnation? Who is more humble (and consequently more brilliant) than one who does not recognize (and yet somehow fully knows) his or her own beauty?
When does it change? Must it?
Visualization and Action
Close your eyes and imagine a simple pleasure of childhood (watching clouds, singing off-key, skipping, etc.). Give yourself permission to experience something childlike today. If giving yourself permission is too hard, then consider it prescribed by me.
Go on, do it—let your little child come.
Ancient wisdom greets me with bright eyes and wrinkled skin.
She comes with grayed hair, radiating golden light like sunflowers on a bright summer day.
Wisdom comes in the platinum locks of a precious child,
In the single tear of a caged young man. She sits on my heart until I feel her weight;
Until it sprouts wings and takes flight, leaving me lighter than air.
Wisdom has roots that reach deep into the ground, wrapping around the stones of my heart.
She is blue sky and flowing water—streams mingling with tears of sorrow and joy—pouring into an ocean of emotion where one drop cannot be distinguished from another.
She greets me with her kind eyes, her warm heart.
She holds me with her gaze and promises she will never leave.
I’m always here, she says.
I am in the bloom of a single white blossom shared by a friend;
In the candle flames throwing light into the darkness; The song carried in the air sings my tune.
I feel her within the chill of my bare toes;
The warmth and taste of coffee through my lips;
The brilliant pink and gold splashed across a raw canvas.
Wisdom greets me everywhere I am.
The ticking of a clock; whisper of the breeze; sounds of silence.
She is there when I open my eyes; focus my ears; touch with my hand; inhale through my nose; know in my heart.
My soul cries out for her and she meets me—unfailingly.
Always there. Always present.
Wisdom greets me with hair of gray and crown of golden sunflowers.
Child. Maiden. Mother. Crone. Lady that she is.
Journal Meditation
Slowly read these words about Lady Wisdom. Notice if there is a word or phrase that shimmers a little brighter for you. Record the line and begin writing your own words about wisdom.
Write without stopping for three minutes and see what emerges.
Re-entry, whether by waking in the morning after a satisfying night’s slumber or returning home from a vacation in paradise, is rarely without consequence. To go from sunshine and blue seas to gray skies and snow in a matter of hours is an unwelcome transition. It’s not unlike rising from that warm cocoon of sleep into the harsh light of day. One moment I swell with joy and gratitude over life-giving splendor, and the next, I am filled with melancholy as I sit stranded on a rain-soaked highway. How shall I carry warmth and fullness into my day?
I am reminded of the tiny hermit crab I once watched on a rocky Mexican beach. She painstakingly worked to carry her home from one place to the next. It was tough going, but she labored well. It seems to me that this is my task, too—to take the joy so easily found in nirvana and pull it across a sometimes rocky (or snowy) path so that paradise resides wherever I am.
I choose to start with the minute, like the hermit crab, and see what blossoms in this day.
Visualization
Imagine for a moment that you are a hermit crab and must carry all your possessions in a small shell upon your back. What are the attributes or items you want to store in your shell?
Pinned.
I can’t move.
His purr vibrates against my chest.
The rise and fall of breath beneath my palm.
Soft golden fur caresses my fingertips.
Warm breath, steamy on my wrist.
We rise and fall together. Breathing.
Only this moment exists. His wisdom says,
“This is enough.”
He shows me what it’s like
to push your way into love and care.
“This is what I need right now.
This is what you need, too,” I hear the gentle murmur.
No need to rush or hurry
or read or think.
Just . . .
Feel the rise and fall
The beating of our hearts
The rhythm of two connected as one in the gentle
breaking dawn.
My gift for the day. Take it with you and
Hold this place of rest.
Calm. Stillness. God.
Learn from the wisdom of this one
Who knows only now
Who knows the embrace of the one who loves.
Meditation
Place a hand upon your chest or the fur of a beloved pet if one is near. Be still and simply feel the rise and fall beneath your palm.
The word, light, is one that conveys multiple attributes—a quality of illumination, a source of fire, an ability to see. We can spread light in the world, take ourselves seriously or lightly, and float around light as a feather. Often light is noted for its contrast with darkness.
Light is an icon that daily brightens my heart and soul. For me, it offers a reawakening to something that has been present all my life but was “hidden under a bushel.” A friend offered me the moniker of Lucy van Pelt as a reminder to not take myself so seriously. Lucy began as a symbol of the times when I got prickly or uppity, then developed into a gift that helped me find my essence of kindness and joy, not crabbiness or disbelief.
As my love affair with light deepened, I came to discover other Lucys, like St. Lucia. She is the patron saint of the blind whose name translates to mean light. Using St. Lucia’s imagery, I envision my own light spreading as a beacon to the metaphorical blind—those who long for new ways of sight in their lives and the world.
Visualization and Action
Find a place where light is present—sunshine, a lamp, or a candle’s flame. Allow yourself to focus on the quality and feel its warmth. Next close your eyes and take several deep breaths into the area just behind your navel. (This is the solar plexus which is said to carry our shining light of self.) Notice any feelings or sensations of lightness or warmth in that area. Consider what it might look like to carry your light into the world today.
There is a space that lies between sleeping and waking—between touch and not—where possibilities lay infinite. Fears rise along with desire. To touch and not be hurt. To have contact and not draw blood. Feeling what you long for, so close you can almost taste it, but not quite. The energy rising between. What will contact mean? What will the new day bring?
The space lies open and is filled with sweet and gentle expectation. Reaching into the cosmos for what you desire. Walking the fine balance between asking for what you need and being turned away in rejection. In this liminal space is where the possibilities lie—in these moments before opening our eyes, where dreams mix with reality and voices weave through sleeping narrative and daytime sounds.
The space between the possibilities. Longing and desire. Touching something not quite there.
Visualization
Imagine walking on a fine line or tight rope. As you lean toward one side, possibilities arise. Tilting toward the other direction, there is disappointment. Allow yourself to metaphorically walk this line as you begin the day. Notice what balance moves you forward.
Alchemy is the art of transmuting metals. With human beings, it is the process of seeking inner wisdom through burning away our unnecessary shell to get to the preciousness that resides within each of us.
There is a great fable by Robert Fisher called The Knight in Rusty Armor. In this story, the valiant knight dons his shiny armor to protect himself while battling dragons and rescuing maidens. He finds his gleaming protection so appealing that he wears it all the time until it ultimately becomes rusted around his body. Because of this, he loses the ability to have meaningful contact with his beloved wife and child. The armor turns into an unnecessary shell and the knight is threatened with losing everything he holds most dear.
This story is the ultimate alchemist’s tale. What was once protection has turned into hindrance. The essence of the knight’s dilemma is an exploration of trust and letting go. Finding the precious truth inside can only be manifested by removing (or transmuting) the rusted armor that surrounds him.
Active Meditation
Choose a pecan, walnut, or any nut still in its shell. Imagine that what is inside is very precious (i.e., the heart or core), then take the steps necessary to remove the shell without damaging the center. In this process, ponder a shell of yours that may keep you and/or others from reaching your center.
Themes of birth, awakening, and mothers float through my mind. Vivid dreams invade my night and wake me like a whisper from my sleep. I roll over, turn off the alarm, and sink into the space where dreamland meets dawn. The space between past, present, and future cannot be delineated and my earliest memory drifts into now. I am older than one and younger than two. Standing in my crib with an earnest look on my face, I am not crying or distressed. I appear to be reaching, not with my arms, but with my eyes. Anyone there? My eyes stretch into the room beyond the recesses of my barred bed and beckon. Anyone there?
Isn’t that the question I still ask today? In times of lament, I turn to the ancient lie I tell myself. I am not important. I will always be alone. Was no one there? Sharing my ten-year-old brother’s room, I wonder if he resented my presence. I recall the black eye my mother received when she bumped the doorjamb during a nightly visit to me. Would she return again?
So odd, these memories. So very interesting. Anyone there is what I continue to ask today. Will you read my work? Hold my hand? Laugh at my jokes? Kiss my lips? Notice my hair? Anyone there? Are you paying attention? Do you see me? Is it possible I still carry the look of a one-year-old standing in her crib, reaching and searching for connection? Anyone there?
What are the questions you ask yourself or the lies you whisper when past and present merge?
Visualization
Close your eyes and allow your mind to float back to your earliest memory. Be curious at the image as if you’ve never seen it before. What is your expression? Your emotion? Your body language? Pause. Sit with this and notice if a question or statement emerges. Carry this experience gently and with curiosity throughout your day.
We live in a world of extremes, where perspectives typically materialize in the form of “either/or” but rarely as “both/and.” A day is either productive or it’s a wash. Our mood is good or we are blue. What if this weren’t the case? What if we shifted our thoughts and considered the possibility it could be both?
Looking at today, I recognize a jam-packed week has come and gone. One chock-full of rich goodness, and I am exhausted, filled with a strong need to restore. It’s time to refresh and rejuvenate. Living fully requires awareness and vigor, and being in the present moment is an invitation to simply be.
I encourage myself to remember there are no ordinary moments. Life comes together in perfect timing and harmony—without pressing—as I allow things to unfold in the midst of the busyness. And, when things get too demanding, I long for quiet time and rest—the place where I find peace and solace with and for myself.
