Cyberbullying: Helping Children Navigate Digital Technology and Social Media E-Book
Stephanie Fredrick
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- Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
- Kategorie: Geisteswissenschaft
- Sprache: Englisch
Cyberbullying: Helping Children Navigate Digital Technology and Social Media is a practical resource for addressing bullying and aggressive behaviors online. Authored by school psychologists, this book offers a balanced perspective on keeping kids safe online in ways that promote positive development. Finding accurate guidance for helping children navigate their digital world can be challenging. This resource counters misinformation and media-fueled negativity by presenting a thoughtful account of the dangers and benefits of digital technology and social media.
Key features include:
- Research-informed insights into youth social-emotional development including peer relationships, aggression, and bullying
- Evidence-based information and strategies to guide children on how to use technology responsibly and positively and communicate openly about cyberbullying
- Legal implications and international considerations for cyberbullying and related online aggressive behavior
This book's practical approach will be invaluable to families, educators, and anyone working with children who care about their well-being.
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Seitenzahl: 372
Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2025
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Table of Contents
Cover
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright
Preface
Acknowledgments
Chapter 1: Peer Relationships and Bullying Over the Years
Peer Relationships in Infancy, Toddlerhood, and Early Childhood
Peer Relationships in Middle and Late Childhood
Peer Relationships in Adolescence
Role of Digital Technology in Peer Relationships
Bullying and Cyberbullying
References
Chapter 2: Digital Media Use: The Early Years
What Is Digital Media and Technology?
Evolution of Digital Media and Technology
Digital Media Use from Infancy to Childhood
Research Methods and Terminology
Effects of Digital Media Use on Child Development
Parent Media Practices and Joint Media Engagement
Summary
References
Chapter 3: Digital Media Use: The Preteen and Teenage Years
Digital Media Use Among Preteens and Teens
Smartphone Use
Effects of Digital Media Use
Digital Media Use and Youth Mental Health
Digital Media Use and Youth Physical Health
Digital Media Use and Youth Academic Performance
Benefits of Digital Media Use
Summary
References
Chapter 4: Cyberbullying and Other Forms of Cyber Aggression
Impact of Cyberbullying
Why Do Youth Engage in Cyberbullying?
Risk and Protective Factors
Digital Self-Harm
References
Chapter 5: Helping Children Navigate Social and Digital Life
Supporting Social-Emotional Competencies and Building Positive Peer Relationships
Promoting Safe Media Use
Model Responsible Behavior on Social Media
Promote Healthy Online Use
Monitor Use
Resources for Parents and Educators
References
Chapter 6: Families Role in Recognizing and Responding to Problematic Online Behaviors
Warning Signs
Responding to Cyberbullying Involvement
Responding to Problematic Social Media Use and Gaming
Outside Interventions for Problematic Online Behavior
Responding to Digital Self-Harm
Summary
References
Chapter 7: Schools’ Role in Preventing Cyberbullying and Other Forms of Cyber Aggression
The Importance of Schools and Family Involvement in Cyberbullying Prevention
What Is a Multi-tiered Support System?
Social and Emotional Learning and School-wide Digital Citizenship Programs
Positive Behavior Intervention Support
School-wide and Classroom-wide Mindfulness Programs
Restorative Justice Approaches
Trauma-Informed Programs
Summary
References
Chapter 8: School–Family Partnership
Communicating with the School
Whom Should I Contact at the School If My Child Is Being Cyberbullied?
What Information Should I Share?
What Should I Expect from the School?
The Bullying Is Still Happening: How Can I Best Advocate for My Child?
How Can I Work with the School If My Child Is Cyberbullying Others?
How Can I Work with the School If My Child Is a Bystander of Cyberbullying?
How Educators Can Best Partner with Families?
References
Chapter 9: Legal Implications: Problematic Online Behavior and the Law
Federal Laws for Harassment
State Laws and School District Policies for Cyberbullying
Civil Law Regarding Cyberbullying
When Should School Districts Intervene?
Criminal Cyberbullying Behaviors
Summary
References
Chapter 10: International Efforts to Address Cyberbullying and Other Forms of Cyber Aggression
Global Trends of Cyberbullying
Laws and Policies on Internet and Device Use Across the Globe
DCE Across the Globe
DCE in Europe
DCE in Asia and the Global South
Summary
References
Subject Index
End User License Agreement
List of Illustrations
Chapter 2
Figure 2.1 Average time spent on screen media per day by age.
Figure 2.2 Percentage of parents reporting co-using or co-viewing with children...
Chapter 3
Figure 3.1 Percentage of teen boys and girls who report using social media plat...
Chapter 4
Figure 4.1 Factors that impact youth development.
List of Tables
Chapter 1
Table 1.1 Features of online communication and activity.
Table 1.2 Forms of bullying.
Chapter 2
Table 2.1 Definitions of digital media.
Table 2.2 Digital media recommendations by age.
Table 2.3 Research methods and terminology.
Table 2.4 Examples of joint media engagement.
Chapter 4
Table 4.1 Forms of cyberbullying.
Table 4.2 Features of online disinhibition and associations with cyberbullying...
Table 4.3 Risk and protective factors for being cyberbullied.
Table 4.4 Risk and protective factors for cyberbullying others.
Table 4.5 Motivations for digital self-harm.
Chapter 5
Table 5.1 Examples of active mediation strategies.
Table 5.2 Examples of bystander intervention strategies for cyberbullying.
Table 5.3 Setting limits on digital devices: guidance for families.
Chapter 6
Table 6.1 Warning signs for cyberbullying involvement.
Chapter 7
Table 7.1 Fostering self-awareness in the digital world: parental guidance by ...
Table 7.2 Fostering self-management in the digital world: parental guidance by...
Table 7.3 Fostering responsible decision-making in the digital world: parental...
Table 7.4 Fostering relationship skills in the digital world: parental guidanc...
Table 7.5 Fostering social awareness in the digital world: parental guidance b...
Chapter 9
Table 9.1 Situations where schools should intervene with cyberbullying.
Chapter 10
Table 10.1 Practical recommendations for parents to promote digital citizenship...
Table 10.2 Checklist for supporting children in building their digital citizens...
Table 10.3 Examples of digital citizenship initiatives in Asia.
Table 10.4 Examples of digital citizenship initiatives in the Global South.
Guide
Cover
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright
Preface
Acknowledgments
Begin Reading
Subject Index
End User License Agreement
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Cyberbullying
Helping Children Navigate Digital Technology and Social Media
Stephanie Fredrick, Amanda Nickerson, Michelle Demaray, and Chunyan Yang
Copyright © 2025 by John Wiley & Sons, Inc. All rights reserved. All rights reserved, including rights for text and data mining and training of artificial intelligence technologies or similar technologies.
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Preface
Raising children and teens is full of joys and challenges – and helping them navigate their worlds of digital technology and social media can be overwhelming for families and other adults. Media headlines tend to focus on the dangers and problems that come with digital technology and social media, which can be hard to balance when it seems like everyone is plugged into a device. What impact does digital media use have on child development? How much use is typical? How can we prevent cyberbullying? When should children get smartphones? How do I work with the school if my child is involved in cyberbullying? These are just some of the questions that we often hear from parents, educators, and others. Our goal with this book is to provide a balanced, research-informed overview of the social aspects of digital technology and cyberbullying for parents and caregivers, as well as other adults working with families and youth (e.g., educators, mental health practitioners). All of us are school psychologists, professors, and parents who have done extensive research on social-emotional development, family and peer relationships, bullying and cyberbullying, and school climate. When the four of us presented our work on cyberbullying at the American Psychological Association annual convention in 2023, Wiley asked if we would be interested in writing a book on this topic. We were excited for the opportunity to provide guidance from our research, as well as from our personal experience. Collectively, we have 10 children (ranging from toddlers to young adults) and have worked with thousands of educators, parents, and youth related to these complex issues! We draw on the research and these experiences to provide guidance on how to teach and promote responsible and safe digital technology/social media so that youth can utilize devices in ways they are meant for – to connect with others, access communities, and be entertained.
In the first part of the book, we provide an overview of peer aggression and bullying behavior. We think this is important to set the stage as there is a lot of overlap between “traditional” forms of bullying (i.e., bullying which occurs in person such as at school) and bullying which occurs online. We then turn our attention to youth engagement in digital technology and social media. We look at the evolution of digital technology over time and how the technological whirlwind of the past three decades has substantially transformed the ways we all live our lives and how we parent. We then focus on cyberbullying and related problematic online behavior, including digital self-harm. We try to answer the question, why do some youth cyberbully others? Chapters 5 and 6 include practical implications for helping youth navigate social and digital life, and how caregivers can recognize and respond to their children’s involvement in cyberbullying and related problematic online behavior. Chapters 7 and 8 provide an overview of the school’s role in cyberbullying and bullying prevention, and how families can partner with their children’s school. Finally, legal implications regarding cyberbullying and international considerations are described in the final two chapters. All implications, guides, and recommendations throughout the book are research-informed. We hope that readers find this information helpful, as it certainly takes a village to raise kids in our digitized world.
Acknowledgments
We would like to express our sincere gratitude to several people who have made this book possible. First and foremost, we would like to thank our families and support networks for their unwavering support of our careers and professional pursuits. This book would not have been possible without their ongoing encouragement, watching kids during evenings and weekends while “mom wrote,” and countless number of cooked meals and desserts to keep the research and writing going. It certainly takes a village and we are so appreciative! We also would like to thank our postdoctoral researchers and graduate student team members from the Alberti Center for Bullying Abuse Prevention at University at Buffalo, University of Maryland, and Northern Illinois University: Hannah Rapp, Dylan Harrison, Lucia Sun, Rahnuma E Jannat, Ella Rho, Jingyi Zhang, and Morgan Fellows. Their assistance with gathering research and references, reviewing and editing, and helping to brainstorm scenarios and strategies throughout the book was so helpful. We would also like to thank the thousands of educators, families, and students we have worked with over the years who have taken the time to tell us their stories. Finally, thank you to Wiley, and specifically to Kelly Gomez, for attending our presentation at the American Psychological Association in 2023 and seeing a vision for our collaborative work.
Chapter 1Peer Relationships and Bullying Over the Years
Much of this book is focused on cyberbullying and how families, educators, and other adults who care about youth can help them navigate the complex world of digital technology. Before we get into the weeds about the fascinating digital network that connects children and teens with the entire world from the safety of their bedrooms, it is important to look at how youth connect socially with their peers. In this chapter, we look at friendships and other peer relationships, from toddlerhood and kindergarten through the high school years. The importance of these relationships for healthy social and emotional development is highlighted. Challenges and problems within peer relationships are also described, like exclusion, rivalries, jealousy, and in-group/out-group dynamics. We also look at how texting, posting on social media, and online gaming play a role in peer relationships, although much more detail about digital media use is provided in the next two chapters. Different forms of bullying (physical, verbal, relational, and cyberbullying) are introduced, and we explain how bullying is different from other forms of unkindness.
Children learn how to deal with stress from conflict, and how to react to interpersonal hurt, through their experiences in relationships. The very earliest relationships that children have are with their parents. These relationships set the tone for and guide how they may interact with other people in the future. Decades of research have shown that a secure attachment between a child and parent – where the child expects the parent to be there in their time of distress – fulfills needs for love, protection, security, and nurturance, while also providing a model for other close relationships (Ainsworth, 1989; Hazan & Shaver, 1994). The attachment style we develop based on the parent–child relationship may guide our other relationships later in life. For example, people with secure attachments tend to have honest, close relationships where they express their emotions. People who have developed insecure attachment styles may be clingy or demanding due to fear of abandonment, or they may avoid conflict in relationships. Other insecure attachment styles may include acting in confusing ways (sometimes seeking intimacy and closeness and other times being fearful and distrustful). If you are interested in taking a quick, free test to assess what attachment style may describe you best, see: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/tests/relationships/relationship-attachment-style-test
As children develop, peer relationships are also important for social and emotional support. Just like healthy relationships with parents, peer relationships also help children to learn and grow in their other-focused skills such as sharing, affection, concern, and responsibility (Hartup, 1989; Pepler & Bierman, 2018). However, like any human relationships, interpersonal hurt and stress can cause unhealthy developments. Researchers tend to study children’s peer interactions related to three tendencies (Rubin et al., 2015):
Moving toward others (for example, prosocial and caring behaviors, such as sharing and helping)
Moving against others (such as conflict, aggression, and bullying)
Moving away from others (including avoidance and withdrawal)
Moving toward others can lead to having peers that offer companionship and enjoyment of common interests. All adults living with or working with children should also be aware that peer relationships occur within social networks with different processes such as closeness, norms or values, hierarchies, and power structures (Rubin et al., 2015). We now talk about what children might experience in these relationships across different developmental stages.
Peer Relationships in Infancy, Toddlerhood, and Early Childhood
Children learn through peer interactions from very early on in life. For example, infants and toddlers begin to pay attention to what is of interest to others (also called joint attention), learn to regulate emotions and inhibit impulses, imitate others, develop language skills, and understand cause-and-effect (Hay, 2005). As young children learn to separate from their parents and spend time with other children their age, they learn how to share with others and take turns (Laursen & Hartup, 2002). In the first five years of life, children also develop self-regulation, or the ability to control thoughts, emotions, and behavior, which is important for healthy peer interactions (Ringoot et al., 2022). Examples include being able to wait for a turn on the swing, deal with frustration without a meltdown, or use a quiet voice in a library. Parents are very important in helping children develop these social and emotional skills, and children’s social relationships are directly influenced by the relationships they have at home with their parents and siblings (Damon et al., 2008). Showing sensitivity, such as encouraging your child to use their words to express feelings and respecting their needs and interests, leads them to be more self-regulated (Ettekal et al., 2020; Ringoot et al., 2022). Prompting children to pay attention to other children’s needs also leads kids to be more likely to share (Laursen & Hartup, 2002).
Dominance and aggression are also common in early childhood, as emotions often feel uncontrollable/overwhelming at this age. Most parents are familiar with the “terrible twos,” and the meltdowns that may occur for reasons that may be bewildering to us, such as wanting a hot dog they have already eaten, biting a sibling when they reach for the same toy, and crying and pounding fists on the floor when told they cannot have a shark as a pet. Physically aggressive behaviors, including hitting, pushing, throwing things, pulling hair, and biting, are very common in early childhood, even as early as 6 months of age (Lorber et al., 2019). This aggressive behavior is most likely during toddler years, when they experience strong emotions but do not have the language and self-control to express themselves more effectively (Parlakian, 2016).
Fortunately, as you guide your children to develop the skills to express and manage their emotions, most aggressive behavior decreases, usually between the ages of 3 and 4 (Parlakian, 2016). For example, you might say “I know you are mad but it is not OK to hit” and give them another tool to deal with their anger, such as squeezing a stress ball or taking deep breaths. Then, when the child is calm, give them a chance to rejoin the activity and give them praise. While physical aggression decreases, we also tend to see more relational forms of aggression, such as talking behind others’ backs and excluding children from play. Some common examples we see in preschool include saying things like “You can’t come to my birthday party” or “We don’t want to play with you” (Smith-Bonahue et al., 2015). These behaviors increase from age of 4 to 7, especially among girls (Tremblay, 2022). During this time, continue to encourage caring relationships and help children problem-solve how to better respond to challenging social situations (Smith-Bonahue et al., 2015). For example, saying things like “You got mad that Sophie wasn’t doing what you wanted to do,” “How do you think she felt when you told her she couldn’t play with you and your friends?,” and “What else could you say?” helps show that you understand why they might be acting this way and encourages empathy and making other choices.
Peer Relationships in Middle and Late Childhood
By kindergarten and early elementary age, children play with their peers in more complex ways (through sports and games), which helps them to develop communication and negotiation skills (Pepler & Bierman, 2018). It is probably no surprise that children who are cooperative, sociable, and do well in school and sports, tend to be more accepted and less rejected by peers (Rubin et al., 2015). In elementary school, children have a strong need to be accepted and have friends, so children who are rejected or do not have friends are more likely to feel hopeless, withdrawn, and anxious (Ladd, 2006). What is a friend? Researchers define friendship as a voluntary, terminable, nonexclusive relationship that emphasizes equality, reciprocity, and concern for the other as a unique person (Brown, 1981). In other words, we can choose our friends, and children between the ages of 6 and 10 tend to form friendships based on common activities, sharing, and helping (Buhrmester & Furman, 1987).
Being rejected and excluded is common, and managing these experiences is important for healthy social development (Killen et al., 2013). Children who behave aggressively (or are disruptive, threatening, or hurtful) tend to be rejected and excluded by their peers, especially in the younger years (Rubin et al., 2015). On the other hand, children who are withdrawn, shy, and avoidant may be excluded, or left out of groups, or ignored (Rubin et al., 2015). Instead of focusing only on behaviors or characteristics of children who are rejected, it is important for us to realize that people have a natural tendency to categorize others into “in-groups” and “out-groups” (Killen et al., 2013). These categorizations are often related to cultural stereotypes and judgments, as we tend to develop social groups with people who are like us (Damon et al., 2008). Parents generally believe that bullying is related to individual differences such as class, race, sexual orientation, ethnicity, appearance, or ability (Mishna et al., 2020).
As adults, we can guide children in modeling and talking about fairness and equity, values, perspective-taking, and cross-group friendships to create more positive attitudes toward inclusion (Killen et al., 2013). For example, having conversations about things we share in common even with people who look or act different, seeking out diverse experiences and social connections, reading children’s books that represent different ethnicities and cultures, and actively trying to recognize and counter our own biases can all help to teach children to be inclusive (Clearinghouse for Military Family Readiness, 2020).
Peer Relationships in Adolescence
As children transition from childhood to adolescence, they tend to shift from relying so much on their parents to spending more time with, trusting, talking with, and supporting their same-aged peers (Laursen & Hartup, 2002; Nickerson & Nagle, 2005). Social acceptance and fitting in becomes very important at this age (DeAngelis, 2023). In upper elementary and middle school, children organize into social groups and cliques, which usually include three to nine people who spend time together and bond over shared activities (Rubin et al., 2015). Interestingly, in early adolescence, friendships are less stable than they were in childhood. This may be because, with all the changes that come with puberty, friendships become more exclusive and may lead to different friend choices (Rubin et al., 2015). Also, teens (especially younger female adolescents) confide more in their friends, which can make the relationships more fragile and prone to betrayal (Benenson & Christakos, 2003). Early adolescence is also when bullying is most common – about 27% of middle schoolers report being bullied while at school compared to about 22% of high schoolers (National Center for Education Statistics, 2022).
Friendships are especially crucial during adolescence, and high-quality friendships have many benefits to social-emotional health. For example, an increase in friendship quality during adolescence leads to improvements in social competence (Glick & Rose, 2011). Where childhood friendships are often based on common interests and activities, adolescent friendships are more intimate, involving greater concern for other’s well-being and a willingness to share private information and discuss sensitive topics (Kobak & Madsen, 2011). Because adolescents are more cognitively developed, have better communication and perspective-taking skills, are more independent, and spend time alone with friends, they are more likely to disclose personal information to friends (Dijkstra & Veenstra, 2011; Rote & Smetana, 2011). Additionally, puberty and sexuality bring about new serious issues requiring intimate conversations, as well as the increased importance of other-sex friendships, and the onset of dating (Furman et al., 1999).
Adolescence is also when male and female friendships have more distinctions. Girls are more likely than boys to disclose to their same-sex friends and to have more positive expectations for the outcomes of disclosing personal feelings (Rose et al., 2012). Despite these positive features of friendships, they can also relate to other potentially problematic outcomes, especially if co-rumination is a part of the friendship (Rubin et al., 2015). Co-rumination, or excessive discussion of problems, can increase feelings of not only closeness, but also depression and anxiety in adolescent girls (Rose et al., 2007). However, co-rumination is less likely to lead to emotional distress for adolescent boys and can even be positive in friendships (Rose et al., 2007). Adolescent girls can experience jealousy when they have to share their close friends with others or when they see a friend succeed in an area where they wish to excel (Parker et al., 2005). Girls with low self-worth are especially likely to become jealous of friends’ relationships (Parker et al., 2005). There are also differences in how adolescent girls and boys handle conflicts with friends and siblings. Adolescent boys’ conflicts are typically briefer and are more likely to escalate into physical aggression but resolve without explicit effort, whereas girls’ conflicts can last longer and sometimes only end when someone formally apologizes (Noakes & Rinaldi, 2006; Raffaelli, 1997).
Perceived popularity also becomes very important at this stage of development (Pouwels et al., 2018). Adolescents are very aware of how they may be seen by others, and they want to be viewed positively (Pouwels et al., 2018). Although popularity used to be thought of as being well-liked, the concept has changed. Children who are tough or dominant, even using aggression to achieve this status, are regarded as “cool” (Rodkin et al., 2006). A shift that takes place as children transition from middle school to high school is that aggression becomes more accepted (Cillessen & Mayeux, 2007). Because not everyone can be at the top of the dominance hierarchy, some adolescents who want to achieve popularity do so through relational aggression (Pouwels et al., 2018). This may involve excluding someone from a clique, telling others to stop talking to someone, spreading rumors, and talking behind someone’s back.
In adolescence, hostile and aggressive behaviors targeted toward peers (like bullying and harassment) are strongly associated with having more social status (Faris & Felmlee, 2011; Juvonen & Graham, 2014). In fact, the targets of the bullying may be in the same friend group and may be rivals for high social standing (Faris & Felmlee, 2014). This is reflected in popular media, with movies (e.g., Mean Girls, Heathers, The Duff ) showing popular students in high school engaging in coercive, mean-spirited tactics to maintain their position in the social hierarchy. Although popularity is something that many adolescents strive for, it is important to realize that it is associated with risks, as they are more likely to engage in aggressive behavior as well as increased alcohol use (Malamut et al., 2021). Parents can help encourage children’s self-esteem based on their own accomplishments rather than relying on validation from others, which may be helpful in reducing this kind of mean behavior (Dellasega & Nixon, 2003).
Cliques are also common in adolescence and usually include peers who are similar in achievement, substance use, and behavior (Rubin et al., 2015). Crowds, in contrast, are larger groups that are more reputation-based collectives of those who are seen as similarly stereotyped (e.g., athletes, nerds, gamers; Rubin et al., 2015). Unlike cliques, members of crowds may not necessarily hang out together regularly or engage in shared activities. By late adolescence and in later high school years, these cliques and crowds disintegrate more, as mixed sex groups form and adolescents begin to develop their own personal beliefs and identities (Rubin et al., 2015). Romantic and sexual relationships also emerge in adolescence, although there is a lot of variability (Furman & Rose, 2015) – some are very serious and others do not get involved much at all.
Role of Digital Technology in Peer Relationships
Now that we have discussed the evolving social landscape of youth, let us move on to explore the role that digital technology plays in their relationships. Digital technology – and its constant availability and lack of social cues – has certainly changed how adolescents interact with their peers (Widman et al., 2021). In fact, adolescents communicate with their peers more through digital technology than they do in person (Gomez-Baya et al., 2019). Although much of online behavior mirrors in-person behavior, there are distinct differences in the way online activity may influence an adolescent’s development and peer interactions (Nesi et al., 2018).
Some of the features that make online communication appealing to adolescents in terms of presenting oneself and disclosing information are anonymity, asynchronicity, accessibility, and permanence (Nesi et al., 2018; Valkenburg & Peter, 2011). Table 1.1 provides more details of these features, and Chapter 4 discusses how these features sometimes make it easier for individuals to engage in online aggressive behavior or cyberbullying.
Table 1.1 Features of online communication and activity.
Source: Adapted from National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine (2023); Nesi et al. (2018), and Valkenburg and Peter (2011).
Feature
Definition
Outcome
Anonymity
Online communication cannot be attributed to a specific individual
Anonymous online behavior can appear to adolescents as that lacking consequences, leading to impulsive decisions and disinhibited behavior. They may be more willing to disclose personal information and express angry thoughts (often referred to as “keyboard warriors”).
Asynchronicity
Lag time between communication (e.g., text messaging, direct messaging) compared to face-to-face communication
Adolescents can edit and adjust their self-presentation in online communication. (It can have a positive effect on self-esteem and allows adolescents to have convenient times to disclose to people of their choosing.)
Accessibility
The ease with which the internet can be used to find, create, or distribute content
Adolescents can seek out like-minded peers online but can also easily interact with unsafe individuals or content.
Permanence
The extent to which content or messages remain accessible following an original interaction or post
Adolescents may put content online without realizing the extent to which their online communication will live on (e.g., even Snapchat and Telegram, two platforms with temporary or “self-destruct” messaging, allow for screenshots). Desire for social connectedness can override caution regarding privacy settings (e.g., posting complaints about others publicly) and can have repercussions for future employment or opportunities.
Digital technology has particular benefits and risks for many aspects of social development, including identity and intimacy/friendship (Valkenburg & Peter, 2011). Several studies show that online communication (for example, blogging, posting on social media) gives adolescents a sense of mastery and control in what they create and share about themselves, and this use is associated with improved self-esteem (Valkenburg & Peter, 2011). However, 29% of teens report feeling pressure to post content to get positive reactions, and 28% of girls (18% of boys) say social media makes them feel worse about their lives (Vogels & Gelles-Watnick, 2023). Adolescent girls, particularly those struggling with mental health and who are more vulnerable, are more likely to have harmful body images and engage in disordered eating behaviors (Office of the Surgeon General, 2023). This is likely due to comparing themselves to photos and videos (often filtered or altered) on TikTok, Instagram, and Snapchat (Holland & Tiggemann, 2016; Nesi et al., 2023), where it seems that everyone is beautiful, fit, and happy.
With regard to intimacy, “the rich get richer” – in other words, youth with strong social skills and friends can enhance these relationships through social media (Valkenburg & Peter, 2011). For adolescents, most close friendships begin in person and are then maintained in both online and in-person settings (Scott et al., 2021). Early adolescents report that digital technology allows them to maintain friendship and intimacy, especially connecting through text messaging to discuss a variety of topics (Mittmann et al., 2022). However, this varies from person to person – another study showed that adolescents who used Instagram frequently experienced the highest levels of closeness with friends, whereas others had less friendship closeness (Pouwels et al., 2021).
Online gaming has also become a popular mainstream activity, particularly for boys, which is a social experience (Mittmann et al., 2022). In fact, 89% of U.S. teens who play video games play with others and 47% have made a friend online because of a video game (Gottfried & Sidoti, 2024). Research has found that support from friends predicts higher levels of active social media use (e.g., posting, liking, commenting; Fredrick et al., 2022). Interacting with existing friends online, particularly through self-disclosure in a safe space, can help improve friendship quality (Valkenburg & Peter, 2011). Most adolescents (80%) also report that social media helps them feel more connected in their friends’ lives (Vogels & Gelles-Watnick, 2023).
How are online interactions helpful or harmful for youth who are more socially anxious? Interestingly, some research with young adults (mean age of 19) shows that social anxiety and loneliness do not impede friendship quality where the interactions were primarily online (although they did for in-person friendships; Scott et al., 2021). Some features of the digital environment (asynchronicity, not being visible) may make interactions more gratifying and comfortable for people who are more socially anxious (Scott et al., 2021). Youth with social anxiety, depression, and loneliness may also find communication on social media beneficial because it allows for greater control and practice of social interactions (Chassiakos et al., 2016). Although children with social anxiety may like the ease offered by online interaction, they are also more at risk of being impacted by negative aspects of social media, including bullying, drama, and feeling left out (Nesi et al., 2023). It is problematic for online relationships to completely replace face-to-face interactions – the ideal is for them to complement each other (Scott et al., 2021).
Digital media also creates a unique environment for adolescents to explore their sexual identities (Valkenburg & Peter, 2011; Widman et al., 2021). Social media can allow LGBTQ+ adolescents access to peers and role models within their community who can provide emotional support and health information (Craig et al., 2021). The anonymity and the lack of physical contact can also make it a safer environment in some ways, although, of course, there are risks as well. In a study of high school students, 90% reported engaging in at least one digital sexual behavior in the previous year, with approximately 72% receiving or sending a sexually explicit message (sext), 62% using social media to flirt or begin a relationship, and 57% looking at pornography online (Widman et al., 2021). Despite this frequent use, less than one-quarter of youth said that they talked to their parents about these issues (Widman et al., 2021).
Of particular concern with regard to digital technology and peer relationships is the focus of this book – cyberbullying. Higher levels of digital technology use relate to cyberbullying (Fredrick et al., in press; Marciano et al., 2020), which is most likely to occur on social media and in online gaming platforms (Chang et al., 2015; Hamm et al., 2015). We now turn to the problems of bullying and cyberbullying.
Bullying and Cyberbullying
Bullying is a topic that has received much attention – it is rare to find a parent who is not concerned that their child may be bullied. Although bullying has been studied in other countries for centuries (see Allanson et al., 2015), it did not become an urgent issue in the United States until the 1999 Columbine school shooting (Cohen & Brooks, 2014). This event caused widespread outrage, concern, and debates about bullying, school violence, and mental health as the perpetrators reportedly suffered from bullying and peer rejection (Koo, 2007). This national attention led school bullying to be viewed as a public health concern, resulting in state laws mandating schools to prevent and address this problem (Nickerson et al., 2013; see Chapter 9 for more information on legislation). Cyberbullying became a mainstream focus after online harassment was connected to multiple teen suicides (Donegan, 2012). One of the most notable was the 2006 suicide of Megan Meier, a 13-year-old from Missouri, whose former friend created a fake account (impersonating a boy) on social media to get information from Megan to later humiliate her by sending increasingly hurtful messages (Pokin, 2007).
These high-profile and tragic events that have been tied to bullying may help explain why the term is so emotionally laden. We now know how serious bullying can be, yet it is often misused to describe other interpersonal difficulties, such as conflict, fighting, and even people acting in mean ways (Englander, 2017). As Elizabeth Englander (2017), founder of the Massachusetts Aggression Reduction Center, cautions, calling everything bullying can take away children’s responsibility to navigate some challenging interpersonal situations and can also take away from the harm and distress that victims or targets of bullying experience.
So, how do we know what bullying is? Bullying is considered to have three distinguishing features (Gladden et al., 2014; Olweus, 1993):
unwanted or intentional aggressive behavior that can inflict harm
targeted toward someone in a vulnerable position because the person or people doing it are abusing their power (e.g., mental or physical capabilities and popularity)
behavior is likely to be repeated or ongoing
These three aspects of bullying (unwanted aggression, imbalance of power where the person targeted has difficulty defending, and repeated over time) make it different from other peer problems such as fighting, conflict, and drama. As mentioned earlier in this chapter, social status is very important within peer groups and in school settings. Bullying is a way that people seek out those who may be vulnerable, or who are different, or have fewer friends or lower social status, to exert power over (Bagwell & Schmidt, 2011; Evans & Smokowski, 2016).
Bullying can take many different forms, including physical, verbal, relational (or social/indirect), and cyberbullying. Table 1.2 provides examples of behaviors for each of these forms. Cyberbullying is considered a form of bullying, or a means by which bullying occurs. As discussed more in Chapter 4, however, the three components of bullying can look different in the context of cyberbullying, which can make this challenging to identify and address.
Table 1.2 Forms of bullying.
Source: Adapted from Stopbullying.gov (2023).
Form
Example behaviors
Physical
Hitting, kicking, tripping, pushing, damaging property or possessions
Verbal
Derogatory name-calling, taunting, threats, inappropriate sexual comments
Relational (also called social or indirect)
Excluding someone on purpose, spreading rumors, embarrassing someone publicly, ganging up (telling people not to be friends with someone), manipulating (“do this and I’ll like you more”)
Cyberbullying
Sending or posting negative, false, or harmful information about someone through digital devices; sharing private and embarrassing information or photos about someone online
There is no question that it can be challenging for children, parents, teachers, and others to determine what behavior is bullying and what may be other problematic social interactions. It is important to try to do this so that we can respond in ways that are most appropriate and helpful. To make this more concrete, let’s consider a few examples of situations and whether they would be considered bullying or other issues, and why.
Charlie and his friends live near Alex. Sometimes when Charlie and his friends walk past Alex, they ignore him. Other days, they make fun of him and say that he has no friends. Alex leaves home extra early so he does not have to run into them on the way to school.
This is an example of bullying that is verbal and relational. Charlie and his friends are engaging in unwanted aggression by ignoring, making fun of, and taunting Alex. Because a group of students is taunting an individual, it creates an imbalance of power that leaves Alex vulnerable and makes it harder to defend himself. In addition, the behaviors are repeated over time.
Tim and Joe are friends but are competitive with each other during gym class. Last week, when Tim did not pass Joe the basketball, Joe pushed Tim, and Tim then punched Joe.
Despite the concerning nature of this scenario, it does not meet the criteria for bullying. It is a single incident of physical aggression between two friends of relatively equal power.
Sumaya recently moved to the United States and is still learning English. Other students say she is stupid, ignore her, and deliberately leave her out of group activities. This has been going on all year.
This is an example of both verbal and relational bullying, as there is mean name-calling as well as intentional exclusion. There is a power imbalance because Sumaya is new to the school and does not yet speak English fluently, and there is a group of students exploiting this. The bullying has been ongoing throughout the school year.
Selena finds out her friend Jessica talked about her behind her back to another friend, and this makes her very upset. After speaking with her about it, Jessica stops.
While this example may share some similarities with other instances of bullying, it is missing a few key characteristics. There is no known power imbalance between Selena and Jessica. The talking behind her back happened once and Jessica stops when Selena asks her to. If the behavior was repeated, continuing after being asked to stop, this could escalate to bullying.
Some girls create an anonymous Instagram account and post unflattering pictures of Sarah, along with lies about her having sexually transmitted infections.
This is an example of cyberbullying, as the perpetrators in this example are posting cruel rumors and gossip about Sarah. The harmful actions are clearly intentional and willful.
