Get yourself a job E-Book

Camille Hammerich

• Herausgeber: Books on Demand
• Kategorie: Geisteswissenschaft
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 187

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2018

Beschreibung

What makes you happy Do you know Do you All my life I have been a navigator like Columbus I have set sail from many shores and travelled distances far and long to reach a happier horizon from whence I came. Being an adventurer and explorer of life has consequences, and I have faced those consequences and look back on them today with a readiness to gratefully appreciate the outcome. My sense of happiness is stronger than ever before I use invaluable tools to keep me grounded and joyful in life, and this book will tell you how. Please join me

Leseprobe

From my heart a big thank you to my wonderful father. Without you, no me and no book. You are my best friend – I love you.

Thank you to everybody who has supported me throughout life and who have made it possible for me to write this book. I love you.

Per Hammerich:

My daughter is a real charmer, wildly energetic with lots of fine ideas in her head…

Camille is a dream of a daughter. When you have put a child into this world, you wish for them to live life to its fullest. Camille enjoys life and is one of the most positive people I have ever met. It is obvious that she should write a book about passion and enjoying life. I hope that she will communicate her positive view on life, her experience and love of being human in a way that will benefit many.

I haven’t tried that before –

So I can surely do it.

Astrid Lindgren, Pippi Longstocking

Contents

A Bankruptcy, a Separation, a Reunion and then a Divorce

School in the Country and in the City

Relationship and Boyfriends

7 Steps to Live With Self-Love

Step 1: Small steps

Step 2: Thought patterns

Step 3: Prioritize yourself

Step 4: Spend time

Step 5: Take responsibility

Step 6: Take responsibility

Step 7: Take responsibility

Work, A Son, A Trip to The Us – And A Marriage Or Two…

Philly

Small House, Network Marketing and Second Hand Luxury

An Extra tidbit about You, Me and Us…

C-Wear

Clairvoyance

Mommy Dearest

It Is Your Life - It Is My Life

Feel and follow the Signpost

You are your Passion

Numerology

Get Yourself a Job

A Look at Network Marketing

Final Remarks

Statements

”Get yourself a job!”

I have been trying to understand myself and the world almost my entire life. From my childhood days to my career; within the areas of having children, partners, love, body and spirit. I have been coaching myself with curious and searching eyes and have achieved an existence where peace, balance, and self-love are the ruling parameters. I am often told that I seem to be calm and at peace with myself. My answer is always the same; it is because I choose that it should be so.

My dad was the first to tell me to write a book. I thought, okay, but about what? Suddenly one day I knew:

It has to be a book about how I have become the one I am today - how my upbringing has influenced me, how I always followed my gut instincts, how I always managed to avoid physical and mental burn-outs, and how I pursue my passion.

I live the way I want to live. I do so, because it is I who determine my day, my week, and my life.

If my book can help just one person to pursue his or her desires, then I have created something valuable. The value for me is that I managed to open a door to a happier place. I have done that in my life, and I know you can do it in yours. The recipe is to listen to your inner compass – the body. If we follow the compass, new doors open right in front of us.

In my eyes, life is a long process. There are times where we go through small processes, and there are times where we go through big processes. There are also times where we go with the flow, but that too is a process; when you go with the flow, you follow the current, and currents sometimes change direction.

I have been through small and big processes in my life, but I have also had times where I allowed myself to be carried by the current.

I don’t think we ever finish evolving; we cannot stop to evolve in good and (unfortunately) less good ways. Therefore, each of us must take responsibility for the way we evolve. We cannot avoid processes either – they come whether we like it or not.

The book that you are reading right now is about my big and small processes in life (including everything else). Today, I live a happy life, and my processes have shown me the way to balance and inner peace. I did not come to where I am today without struggle and hardship, but I faced the challenges and made decisions that were right for me.

I engulf myself in tools and methods; ways that give me the strength to see the cracks (and do something about them), before I get too overwhelmed.

I love life and I want to live it well. This is a responsibility that I take upon myself every day – and I would love to show you how you can achieve the same feeling of freedom and happiness. I would love to show you how to open a door that you have not dared to open before – a door into a room where you decide the view.

“Get a job, mom,” my son said one evening. He was dissatisfied with my failing finances, and that we couldn’t afford luxury items. It was the undercurrent from what we hear on our first day of school: “Welcome. Study hard, learn a lot, so that you can have a job, make money, pay taxes, and save up for pension.”

I understand that we need jobs. However, for me it is obvious that I do not want just any job. Life has taught me that I feel well when I follow my heart - also with regards to jobs. It is important to be happy about one’s job. We spend so many of our vital hours on the job that it hurts if we do not like it. My dad always said, and still says: “Rather a happy sanitation worker, than an unhappy CEO.” My mom said: “Mille, you will spend many hours at your job - you better find one you like.”

We cannot avoid the fact that we have to work. A job from 8-16 works well for many people, but it was not the solution for me. Every time I heard the phrase ”get yourself a job,” it gave me an uneasy feeling – a feeling that I had to do something I disliked. Later in the book, you will read how I feel that I would have fallen ill if I had not listened to myself.

There is only one person in my life that does not use that phrase. It is someone who almost knows me better than I know myself. He has believed in me more than I did myself at times, and he has not been in my life for very long. I have paid a high price to find this person, but I am grateful that I have. For the first time in my life, I am being seen, understood, and loved unconditionally.

We strive to achieve this type of love and vulnerability with another person – just like when we were loved unconditionally in our parents’ arms. It is possible to find this love; that is also “just” one of our processes. This book will be about such a process.

My parents on their wedding day in 1970

I was born in the middle of April 1971. My mother was young and ignorant and hardly knew how babies were born. She had fallen in love with the most handsome guy in town, who had the voice of a singer and charisma as Elvis (despite her being a Beatles fan). The handsome guy is my father, and he still attracts attention from his surroundings.

My mother was beautiful – a true copy of Audrey Hepburn, who was her big idol. Small, dark, and slim. She loved to be pregnant and feel that she could fill out her dresses.

This day in April (as my father worked), I was born. A rather big baby for the day and age; a girl with lots of energy, almost from the start.

In Denmark today, most people take 6-12 months maternity leave, but in the 70’ties, maternity leave was just a couple of weeks. When a nanny was hired, my mother was supposed to go back to work as a school secretary. She cried the whole way to school, in school and back again. She refused to hand me to the nanny the next day. My father loved her and understood and took more work on his shoulders. Unconditional love and a burning desire to spend time with the child she had just given birth to, made my mother stay at home.

Me as a baby – in 1972

She listened to herself and her feelings. She could not work now that the world had given her the role as a mother. She did not miss her work and stayed home with a feeling of great love and a desire to be close and present with her child and husband.

My parents had a lovely small house of 45 m2 in the village of Karlslunde. We lived there for a few years with a big German Shephard, called Bubbi, which by the way followed me each time I ran away from home. Further down the street was a small shop, and the owner had one time given me a lollipop. That was all it took for me to come back continuously. There was a small hole in the hegdes around our yard, and off I went. The owner immediately called my mother, who came and picked up me, my lollipop and my dog.

My dad, an entrepreneur, worked a lot and loved every minute of it. He is old school, meaning that he believed that a man should provide well for his family. He comes from a family of entrepreneurs. Born and raised in Ballerup Gardening Nursery, where he had to help and was supposed to continue the family business.

Unfortunately, it didn’t happen in this way.

His beloved father died early, and his mother carried on the family business on her own. This led to a bankruptcy. Her stubbornness prevented my father and his brother to come in and take charge. It must have been a hard blow to both. Throughout their upbringing, they had been told that it was their duty to continue the nursery. Often, they had to stay home from going out with friends and instead help in the family business.

My start in life was thus with two people who did what was right for them. My father pursued his dreams, and my mother chose to stay at home with her child, paying attention to herself and her emotions.

That was my core and it makes sense to me today. It gives me an understanding of who I am, where I am, and why I always feel conflicted when people tell me, “get yourself a job.”

Me and my brother in 1976

Life is about living in the moment, learn from the past, and look forward to the future.

A BANKRUPTCY, A SEPARATION, A REUNION AND THEN A DIVORCE

I don’t remember anything from that time in the village of Karlslunde. I don’t remember either that my brother was born 3½ years later. I have tried to recall the memories, but I cannot. I think it is because my first years were happy and harmonious. An everyday life full of love and presence – probably not without its challenges, but nevertheless there was thriving and caring in my family. It was an upbringing where we had enough money, safety, and happiness. We were a family that dined together, had pets, a nice house, went on bike rides, summer vacations, and wore luxury clothing from the most famous shop in town. I always wore expensive dresses or fashionable clothing that my mother loved to sew and knit. We were always well-dressed and had schoolbags in the right brand.

I was unconcerned the first 10 years of my life. I can only recommend that children have such unconcerned upbringings, preferably for longer than that. Such a start in life has made it easier for me to handle the events and inpredictabilities of life.

Luckily, I was given a firm foundation. I did not have to struggle back from horrible experiences as some have to do. I do not mean to jugde or blame anyone, I just try to describe my path as I see it, with all its small and big processes – which have sometimes hit me hard, but which also have developed me and still do – by all means, I am only halfway there.

In my family the women tend to grow really old, and I certainly intend to follow in the footsteps of my beloved grandmother. She is currently 97 years old and still going strong. She has the memory of an elephant and is still the last to leave the party. She is indispensable, irreplaceble, and highly valuable in my life.

When I was 11, my world was turned upside down. Almost in one day, my safety net with lots of love disappeared. I knew there were challenges. The economic crisis in the beginning of the 80’ties turned our lives around.

My beloved grandmother on my mother’s side

At the time, my father had 12 employees in his gardening business. It was popular at the time to have a beautiful garden and most people could afford it. In our neighborhood it was prestigious to have the best-looking garden, and ours was naturally the most beautiful – with a play area, cages for rabbits, a dog yard, a swimming pool and lots of flowers and flower beds perfectly aligned.

From one day to the next, the demand for gardening stopped, and we could feel the drop. At the beginning of the crisis, my parents had just bought their dream house – in the village of Greve. They bought it before our other house was sold, and they moved in – right before the economic crisis hit the whole country.

My father was the only one with an income. My mother helped him with book-keeping and took care of me and my brother. They were forced to resell the dream house and moved back to the old house. Shortly after, my father’s company went bankrupt and we moved to a smaller house in Karlslunde. I came to love that house which was right next to the house of my girl friend, who is still in my life to this day.

There were many young people in the neighborhood and they were out in the evenings.

I remember thinking that I would surely want to live in a house like that when I had children of my own. I wanted a lot of children, preferably 5 boys.

I did not notice the bankruptcy too much. But in the wake of it came the divorce, which did not go smoothly. Emotionally, the divorce took a real toal on all of us.

When there is no food, the horses bite… You do not really know anyone until you have seen how they handle a crisis. When all is well, there are no challenges and no pressure. However, when the money is short, and a crisis arise, our true self emerges. That is when we get to know ourselves and others the best.

My parents tried everything. They did not want to divorce, and in spirit they probably never were.

None of them would let the other go and they tore eachother down emotionally, as they could not handle the whirlpool of emotions inside them. They were both responsible for the divorce – they could have worked on themselves and their own flaws, taken more responsibility, maybe even got some help to understand themselves and each other.

But it was not so modern back then to seek help. Today it is more common to seek counseling, as well as making sure to talk to friends about one’s situation. Perhaps it could have saved them back then – I don’t know. I just know that they loved eachother but were unable to handle their crisis. They had to separate.

After a few chaotic months I was picked up one day in school by my father. This was a rare occurrence, but this day they had decided that he was going to tell me about the divorce. It was the same day that I was supposed to have my birthday celebration in 1982. It was not the best day of my life…

No child forgets the moment and the emotions that arise in that moment when he or she is told by a parent: We are getting a divorce.

My family a few years before the divorce

Those words are edged inside forever – and the divorce bonfire burns eternally.

I was in a haze after the divorce, yet still I remember everything. Everybody knew where my brother belonged. He was going to live with my father. What happened to me is still a sore wound in my upbringing. I never quite understood their decision.

I can of course see it from their perspective. They chose to ask an 11-year old girl where she would rather live. What if I had told them what I really wanted? What if I had had the courage to say where I would prefer to live and had not felt strained by feelings of loyalty? But I was only 11 – and a loyal daughter goes with her mother. I did not want to hurt her by choosing my father, so I moved with my mother.

Our choices take us down a certain path. If we had chosen differently, the path would also look different. Everything in life is about choices, and a wise friend once told me that each choice comes with a bonus and a consequence.

Letter from me and my brother to my mother after the news (text: to mom from Casper and Camilla. Hi mom, I love you, but I am sad that we are moving, but I love you.)

Choosing my mother gave me the opportunity to care for her during the divorce. That was the only bonus.

EVERYTHING changed. She rented an appartment with two rooms in the ugly part of Nørrebro, in Copenhagen. It was on the 4th floor right by the most trafficked road in Copenhagen. An awful place of only 60 m2, with noise and fog from the street, stray cats in the alley, and a new school of which 90% had a different ethnical background. There was a raw and brutal energy everywhere in that neighborhood.

I moved from the suburbs, a lovely house with a father, mother and little brother, my local riding school, and my only girlfriend – and arrived in the city. It was a shock to my system, and I withdrew emotionally. I knew that in this part of the city, I had to be quiet and do what I was told to survive.

I loved my mom. I felt so sorry for her and tried to help make her day-to-day better. I completely forsaked being a teenager. I was never difficult, unreasonable, or impossible. I was always the sweet easy girl who helped and understood my mother.

My life changed in one night. It did not feel good. EVERYTHING was different. At the same time, I tried to make sure that my mother did not follow through with her threats. When she tought that I was asleep, she often told my grandmother on the phone that she would jump from the 4th floor. I had many sleepless night, at least until I knew that she was safely in the bed that we shared. We had a roll-out couch in my room as there was too much noise in the living room. My room turned towards the back alley and had less noise.

She did not know that I heard her in the evenings. She did not know that I went out of my way not to cause any worry or trouble. My new school class was hellish for me from the first day, but she never knew. She needed to recover from her divorce which had overwhelmed her. At the age of 30, she was a single mom, missing her youngest child, in a broken existence. She had a hard time. The only thing that kept her going was her job and the hope that she would get back together with my father one day. It came close to that.

They started seeing eachother again. This decision brought unwanted consequences for all 4 of us. Suddenly, we were family again, and my parents went looking for a house together. They found one, but in the last minute everything was called off. My mother chose to tell me her version of the truth.

My father had written a letter to my mother, demanding that she quit the job that she had become so fond of. She had started working in a knitting shop in Hundige Arcade. As her passion was to knit and sew, we all had at least three items of clothing that she had made for us, even our dog had a knitted dog-jacket. She was in the shop when I was in school, and I never remember her being away from the apartment.

My mother was a phenomenal knitter. Her special talent was that she made up the recipes while she was knitting. When she knitted a shirt for us, she would write down the instructions as she went. Normally you follow a recipe when you knit, but my mother designed her own.

My father knew that she was talented, but my mother did not want any fuss about it. One day my father therefore went to a shop in the Hundige Arcade and showed them her knitting recipes. The shop, Pathons Garn, a knitting and designing company, was just looking for someone like my mother. They contacted her based on the work that my father had shown them. They offered her a part-time job as a knitting designer and she had my father’s full support.

Some time after that, she was contacted by Aller Press. They were looking for a chief designer for a national Magasine, called the Family Journal. They wanted to hire my mother. My mother later told me that my father did not like that she took the job. But she really wanted it and the job gave a nice raise to the family income. It was a full-time job with a pay raise and access to the Writers’ Union, even though she did not have the proper educational background for it. It was this job that my father wanted her to quit.